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#172869 +(3239)- [X]

* veganzombie has joined #uc
<veganzombie> Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....
* veganzombie has quit IRC (Quit: Graaaaaaaiiiiinnssss.....)

#865098 +(2906)- [X]

<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs

#832254 +(1736)- [X]

<Redden> you know what you shouldn't take on planes?
<Sealab> Leslie Nielson?
<Bagel> Box Cutters?
<Dodge> William Shatners?
<Scotty> Gameboys?
<DotTom> Babies?
<The Amazing Rando> Wesley Snipes?
<seander> Flaming torches?
<Gib Yob> Vials of smallpox?
<Kelvin> Zombies?
<Tomuber> Mutha fuckin snakes?

#630789 +(1619)- [X]

Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.

#258240 +(1283)- [X]

<@cs_weasel> my latest viagra spam subject line: "adolph"
< ponds`zombie> ein reich, ein volk, ein schlongpill

#254595 +(1072)- [X]

<zombiemann77> i tied this girl up and she told me to do whatever i wanted to her so i took her stereo, dvd player, and all her money

#942362 +(960)- [X]

<sparkhost> report
<sparkhost> are you alive ?
<roman> :)
<sparkhost> it might be zombies as well
<sparkhost> is 1+1 = 2 ?
<roman> false
<roman> 1+1 = 3 use condoms
<sparkhost> personality hash accepted
<sparkhost> welcome Roman :D

#705784 +(803)- [X]

<ZombieKing> best way to get rid of a client with dial-up, told them to install service pack 2 and call back

#4447 +(798)- [X]

<Idioteq> shit.. the zombie processes have gone chaotic on my pull parity
<happy> flip the bits, STAT
<Yoinkster> you should also vi the slackware
<thirtyseven|IGOTHEADTODAY> I get the idea that you guys might be making this shit up.

#5786 +(729)- [X]

<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret passage

#39997 +(677)- [X]

<scabb> Yeah, you still have to wear condoms when you're having sex with a dead person, otherwise she might give birth to ZOMBIES, who will CONQUER THE WORLD. And that's never a good thing. That's why necrophilia is outlawed.

#754839 +(593)- [X]

< Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me a sysadmin zombie!
< Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and labeling today :-D
< daven> fun
< Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss

#41903 +(560)- [X]

<Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
<Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
<Denium> wow
<Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
<Denium> at most
<Cassy> a SHOW
<Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<Cassy> you know ....play music!?

#770519 +(511)- [X]

Allan: incidentally, my house is Zombie resistant.
Crysm: how so?
Allan: I wonder why that is
Allan: elevated first floor, strong steel doors.
Allan: the windows are out of reach, basically.
Crysm: it's next to a graveyard, man
Crysm: the planners had to think ahead
Allan: good point
Allan: ...dear god, I gave my house a zombie proofing assessment.
Allan: That's... a whole new level of something.

#417967 +(491)- [X]

<@asym> I bet rob zombie would win the election if he came on TV and said "elect me or I will open the gates of hell."

#11697 +(470)- [X]

<RonZombie> m/
<RonZombie> pretend thats a little fist making devil horns
<Aboshi> Then pretend it's cool

#167799 +(446)- [X]

<Zombie_Punk> You bastards wouldn't know a Clerks reference if it analy raped your mother while pouring sugar in your gastank.

#11691 +(444)- [X]

<Plutwrk> t1
<RonZombie> i mean
<RonZombie> Tdumb
<RonZombie> nevermind
<RonZombie> SCREW YOU

#722326 +(429)- [X]

<Golden> Am I the only one who thinks Dead Rising could be the easiest Video Game to Porno transfer?
<Golden> The three main characters are a black guy, a hot blonde chick and a photographer
<Golden> And they're stuck in a mall with zombies so they can't escape
<Golden> Eventually someone is going to have a cock in their ass while the hairy guy takes pictures of it

#106450 +(377)- [X]

<Frosty> I hate going into kitchens in Resident Evil. I mean - you just know that there's something in the 'fridge. There always is. And you don't want to open the 'fridge, but you know there's something in there that you need. However, you're running out of ammo, so you're left with killing a zombie using nothing more than a toothpick and the urine from pissing your pants.

#50053 +(357)- [X]

<@Loki^> damn birds
<@Loki^> make too much noise
<@_zOmbIE_> watercool them

#162018 +(334)- [X]

[4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> dude my brother is wacking off
[4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> eww
<+little-mac> ZombiE_FreaK,go lend him a hand
<ZombiE_FreaK> ^_^ BRB ^_^
<+little-mac> omg

#49008 +(329)- [X]

<dustin> i'm hung like a zombie process

#24976 +(321)- [X]

<Skulljack> Funny how all zombies have muscles, skin and everything else nearly falling off of them, yet they almost always have a fully functioning digestive system.

#714545 +(310)- [X]

<McKain> in psychology
<McKain> we were discussing sleep
<McKain> and the blind kid with bad hearing asks
<McKain> "I heard that if you are dreaming and falling, and you hit the ground, you die for real"
<McKain> and my professor immediately says "Yes. You die."
<McKain> I LOL'd so hard
<McKain> then someone else asks
<McKain> "I hear that if you have a nightmare in which you die, you die for real"
<McKain> and he goes "No, that's complete rubbish"
<McKain> I wanted to ask "I hear if you are dreaming that you are battling zombies and you get bitten, you will wake up and be a zombie. True or false, Professor? TRUE OR FALSE?!"

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