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#10739 +(7900)- [X]

* Spoon casts Wall of Silence
*** Spoon sets mode: +m
<Goku> why?
<Spoon> Because exo went insane
<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
* Sentinel checks..
*** Sentinel sets mode: -m
*** Sentinel sets mode: +m

#290466 +(2734)- [X]

<raven> Any cat people here? I've got a problem with Nicky...
<Leth> I've been known to be handy with a wok
<Lore> Why, I'm a cat person.
<raven> I took Morgan to the vet yesterday - he was gone for a total of 45 minutes, got two vaccs and a blood draw.
<raven> Brought him home and Nicky went BALLISTIC.
<raven> Spent the rest of the night yowling and hissing and attacking MOrgan.
<CrazyClimber> nicky smells the hospital smells on morgan
<Lore> Yeah, I've seen that happen.
<raven> Is there anything I can do to get the hospital stink off him, then? Pack his carrier in coffe grounds or something?
<tieboy> how about a bath
<CrazyClimber> just give it a day or so
<Lore> We tried catnip and butter, and neither worked.
<agent_orange> butter?
<agent_orange> you buttered your cat?
<Lore> Yes.
<raven> it's the best way to butter the house.
<raven> Cats are effective butter delivery units.
<Lore> We read somewhere to put butter on a cat's forehead.
<agent_orange> did the emolient facilitate insertion?
<Lore> And the other cat licks it off, and likes the first cat, because it tastes like butter.
<Lore> As I said, it didn't work.
<agent_orange> you read sopmewhere to put butter on the cats foreWHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING
<tieboy> rub the two cats together vigorously until they smell like each other
<agent_orange> piss on them both at the same time
<raven> It's more fun to put tape on their feet.
<agent_orange> why not do both
<agent_orange> and then get out the handycam
<Lore> I believe what I was thinking was "Maybe it will work. And even if it doesn't, I get to butter the cat's forehead."
<agent_orange> AFHV would *love* some footage of sticky-pawed, freshly buttered cats trying in vain to avoid a stream of steaming miller lite
<Samwise> You know what helps with feuding cats, Lore? Sending me lots of cash.
<agent_orange> now, see, I read somewhere --
<agent_orange> I think it was leviticus
<agent_orange> -- that what you should do is frost them
<agent_orange> betty crocker, right out of the can
<raven> Chocolate or buttercream?
<Leth> rave: go chocolate, buttercreme isn't pareve
<CrazyClimber> you're frosting meat?
<agent_orange> and then there'a always Cat Wellington
<agent_orange> "What are you doing in the kitchen, dear?" "Just buttering the cat, pumpkin!"
<agent_orange> "Why don't you baste the chicken while you're at it, too, dear?" "Baste the ... *light bulb* ...Sure! Sure, I'll 'baste the chicken'!"
<CrazyClimber> a google images search for "buttered cat" returns a picture of isaac hayes
<agent_orange> chocolate salty cat balls

#636661 +(1819)- [X]

<Shameful_Buffalo> I got bored tonight, so I played the wal mart game, you know where you go to wal mart and see who can get the funniest items together
<Shameful_Buffalo> well I give my friends ryan and taylor $20 and they go off, taylor gets KY Jelly, Camoflauge shorts and Predator on DVD, I get some G2 Pilot pens, A mountain dew, Murray's Superior Afroshine Hair Pomade, 12-pack of Lubed Trojans, a pair of Brinks Luggage Locks with keys, Electrical Tape, and some Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (standard double-cup pack).
<Shameful_Buffalo> Ryan comes back empty handed and this follows, 
  Ryan: "I played your game dude..."
  Taylor: "then where is your stuff?"
  Me: "Yeah, you had to buy something with that 20 I gave you.."
  Ryan "I went to automotive and put a tire on layaway..."
<Shameful_Buffalo> I never laughed so hard in my entire life, I gave him the 10 bucks for winning and walked to the car with my bag of crap.

#373397 +(1667)- [X]

<aidan> i'm going to rule when i leave home
<wyki> why?
<aidan> i was concerned about the amount of food in the house
<aidan> i now sit here with four, yes, four peanut butter and jam sandwiches and a glass of milk
<aidan> i could live like this for weeks
<wyki> ahh but when you are living on your own you will need to shop, and then you will be greeted with the problem that has faced many broke young men living by themselves. to buy bread and peanut butter, or to buy condoms and bear
<aidan> why i would EVER buy condoms and a bear is beyond me

#3787 +(1421)- [X]

<Dst> revenge is sweet
<Dst> revenge is a dish best served cold
<Dst> ergo; revenge is ice cream
<Joshua> peanut butter is good, boobies are good, therefore boobies are peanut butter
<Dst> i like your twisted logic there
<Joshua> i like boobies.

#7701 +(1344)- [X]

<Ludwigvan> haha you can't kick me
<bobthecow> oi someone op me
<Felix1> bob type alt-f4
<Ludwigvan> hehe
*** bobthecow has quit IRC (Leaving)
<Astro}> oh my god ...
<Felix1> :D
<Felix1> oops :p
*** bobthecow has joined #buttermenthol
<bobthecow> err
<Ludwigvan> ahahahahahhahaha ---> bob
<Astroy}> hahaha you idiot bob
<Felix1> sorry bob :D
<bobthecow> my dad was looking over my shoulder and even he laughed

#56 +(1320)- [X]

<Wind-X> and penis butter and jelly make a good sandwich

#664248 +(1268)- [X]

<Lynxis> so i was outside today..
<Lynxis> i seen this bird chasing after this a butterfly
<Lynxis> my first thought was that the bird was probably trying to rape the butterfly
<Lynxis> then my second thought was maybe the butterfly was playing hard to get
<Lynxis> and my third thought was "Wow, I must really hang out in the wrong places on the internet."

#34772 +(1001)- [X]

<Waxahachi> No. I am a programmer & I want friends that I can identify with intellectually and personably.
<BoDePlOt> if i eat anutter peanut butter cup i think i am going to puke

#397704 +(858)- [X]

lemonlimeskull: I want a tattoo.
lemonlimeskull: Right on my back
lemonlimeskull: of Eyespots like butterflies have
lemonlimeskull: To throw off predators.

#214794 +(813)- [X]

[brs`IRC]: Amish girls are incredibly sexual.
[brs`IRC]: You've never had a handjob until you've had one from a girl who
[brs`IRC]: works a butter churn all day.

#91303 +(809)- [X]

<mustafa12>Ya, in 9th grade I was reading some background history on a poem out loud to the class and the poem was written in 1337, me being the cool social butterfly that I am, I read it as "leet"

#48505 +(795)- [X]

Jigglyjuff: that's worse then that peanut, butter and jelly sandwich i hear all americans like
<CHAT MattDavis>  no
<CHAT MattDavis>  peanut butter
Jigglyjuff: oh! that makes much more sense

#137540 +(765)- [X]

<Elfer> I just had an idea
<Elfer> ok, cats land on their feet, right?
<Elfer> right
<Elfer> toast lands peanut butter sde down, right?
<Elfer> right
<very_clock> right
<Elfer> now, what if I tape a piece of toast peanut butter side up to a cat's back and drop it
<Elfer> ???
<very_clock> uhhhm the cat will cancel out the toast thing, cats beat toast anyday
<Elfer> uhh, no
<very_clock> yep
<Elfer> I think I get some sort of physics defying contradiction conundrum and the cat will hover
<Elfer> It's almost too simple to take over the world with this type of device...

#482888 +(735)- [X]

<FarkinWorkin> my dog used to freak out whenever I brought home a fresh jar of peanut butter
<pakman> is that because you let him lick it off your penis FarkinWorkin?
<FarkinWorkin> it was a "she" pakman...I'm no fag....

#122512 +(725)- [X]

<stumpy> I saw my cousin naked one day, got some good use out of that later that night.
<momar> Fer god's sake man!
<momar> That's like eating peanut butter with a fork. It can work, it just ain't right.

#46672 +(698)- [X]

<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on

#34198 +(668)- [X]

<nihil> I doubt my getting fired from the Dairy Queen is a bellwether of recession, but it sure is a bellwether of I stuck my wang in the butterscotch.

#398954 +(666)- [X]

<@champ> anyone put garlic in their popcorn?
<@Cruz> no
<@Cruz> i spray butter
<@champ> is spray butter any good?
<@crypto> its not real butter
<@champ> i can't believe it!

#46708 +(666)- [X]

<Spooky42> omg i just stabbed myself in the face with a corncob holder thing
<Funky_> hahahahahahah
<Funky_> is it bad?
<Spooky42> its bleeding a little..
<Funky_> :(
<Spooky42> i got butter on it too :(
<Funky_> ok...
<Funky_> so... WHY did you stab yourself in the face with a corncob holder thing?
<Spooky42> im not sure quite how it happened :(
<Funky_> wtf
<Funky_> you don't know how you stabbed yourself in the face?
<Spooky42> i was eating corn. and it slid out of the corncob and i went to slide it in real quick and it didnt line up with the previous holes and it slid off into my cheek
<Spooky42> it hurts!
<Funky_> sorry
<Funky_> It's just too funny
<Spooky42> i dropped my corn too!

#612055 +(649)- [X]

Vann: turns out grilling the peanut butter and jelly was not my best idea.
Jeffrey: OMG you didn't...
Vann: no, george foreman did.

#74937 +(633)- [X]

<Kristy> "You attempt to kick a hobgoblin, but miss."
<Kristy> :(
<Kosta> hahahaha level 1
<Kosta> You have been killed by a stick of butter

#6924 +(541)- [X]

<Nelson> zed; wtf song is that?

#37278 +(517)- [X]

<chr15tpunch3r> man, i just saw my dad buttering up a potato and i laughed because for some reason i thought of him shoving it up my step moms ass

#945317 +(512)- [X]

* gg (Mibbit@ has joined #Terraria
<gg> I just cut my hand with a knife while slicing a hotdog.
<@Sqozza> Awesome.
<gg> It happened because the phone rang. When I answered it, it was this clown I know named Steve.
<gg> He told me he had been to a graveyard and seen my name on six gravestones.
<gg> When I hung up the phone, I was surprised to notice my hand dripping blood faster than I'd anticipated from such a small wound.
<gg> Concerned, I bandaged the hand with a paper napkin, but realized there was butter on the napkin, and the butter had salt in it.
<gg> So, with a stinging hand, I ran cold water over the hand but the butter made the water slough off.
<gg> Then the doorbell rang.
<gg> I answered it. It was Steve again. He was holding a package for me and standing at a strange angle.
<gg> I took the package and slammed the door.
<gg> Opening the package, I noticed two things. 1) The package was unaddressed, and 2) my hand was still bleeding.
<@Sqozza> 3) Steve is awesome.
<gg> I ripped the package open and inside were five rusted nails and a jack rabbit's head.
<gg> I called Steve back, but he didn't answer.
<gg> Confused and bleeding, I tossed the box into the trash and sat back down on the couch to finish Dr. Who.
<TheBadShepperd> I knew this was going to end bad when you said you knew a clown.
<@Sqozza> Clowns these days
<gg> But the episode was strange. It was about to short people fighting over a rotten piece of meat.
<gg> The Dr. was nowhere to be seen.
<gg> I got out a T.V. Guide to see if I was mistaken about what I'd TiVo'd.
<@Sqozza> gg, maybe you were watching Jersey Shore instead
<gg> I wasn't. It was, indeed, Dr. Who. At least according to T.V. Guide.
<gg> I put the remote down and noticed that my hand was still bleeding.
<gg> Then I ate my hotdog.
<gg> Slowly.
* gg (Mibbit@ has left #Terraria
<@Sqozza> What the fuck just happened

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