#437 +(508)- [X]
<lamont-> spanish kids can speak better english than most kids on aol
<lamont-> when they're fucking three years old!
#622 +(312)- [X]
<zaney> if you have the fucking internet why jizz in the shower?
#4301 +(307)- [X]
(bc) i have the newest version of windows from microsoft... Fuck ME
#4410 +(869)- [X]
<amoeba> it's like Beverly Hills 126.96.36.199
#4819 +(210)- [X]
*** Topic is 'Current IQ is, make no mistake, 0120 (your IQ is subtantially higher, if you know what that is in decimal)'
<DuneBoy> fr0zen: it looked like base 3 to me, which would mean it was 25 isn;t it??? 0(3^3) + 1(3^3) + 2(2^3) + 1?
#6653 +(472)- [X]
<LR|Midnight> this ice cream owns
<[ice]> this Midnight cream 0wns
#6836 +(478)- [X]
<angst> i want a relationship with more depth.
<angst> and no, i don't mean a deeper asshole.
<angst> i mean someone who can deep-throat.
#7064 +(194)- [X]
<Staberinde> The worst of the bunch was this
* Staberinde points at his crotch
<Staberinde> "Ya know this thing isn't going to blow itself!"
<CrashCat> it will if you wire it with explosives
<Staberinde> Well yes, but that's only when the zombies are near
#7111 +(471)- [X]
<PyroP> My sister has freinds over. They're banging the piano.
<piman> PyroP, Uh...
<aer> I see..
<PyroP> ^banging^banging on
#7200 +(515)- [X]
<zhix> logicbox - sarenna lee rocks you.. she's just so.. bountiful!
<zhix> I could literally get lost in her bosom.
<zhix> I'd accidently drop my bagel in there and end up falling in..
<barkode> barkode: JOSH, ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE? zhix: I'M FINE. GO AWAY. barkode: I'LL GET HELP. zhix: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKER. LEAVE ME HERE.
#7383 +(234)- [X]
<Pho> the only fun Ive had with linux was formatting it
#8375 +(223)- [X]
<AsylumXKP> Yeah no advertising. (This message was brought to by ANALSEX.COM! ALL ANAL ALL THE TIME!)
#8425 +(214)- [X]
<RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives
#8893 +(205)- [X]
<Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
<Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."
#11154 +(232)- [X]
<Tridon> hate cold water
* Tridon left the shower in a huff!
<Iksion> tridon ah your willy has shrinked in cold water?
<Tridon> this morning I had to talk him down, just so that I could take a piss... Now he's not even there any longer
#11386 +(541)- [X]
#14668 +(665)- [X]
toAzron1:Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
#16292 +(547)- [X]
<m00ks> ooop that almost wasn't a fart. Brb.
#16378 +(581)- [X]
<kaleido> when i was at e*trade i went to a dept dinner thing and everyone was drinking 20 year old wines and shit, and i ordered a bud light
<kaleido> everyone looked at me like i called their mother a cunt
#21874 +(22)- [X]
<[CSI]Octane-EE> sometimes i jerk off with my left hand when i need to use my mouse to browse the porn
#33546 +(387)- [X]
<Center> i wish women were open source
#34224 +(106)- [X]
<deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth
<deadkode> who the fuck rents a couch
<RageFury> Who the fuck puts pics of missing kids on their website?
<RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the hot sauce".
#37722 +(458)- [X]
<Tisha> So we were watching a veggie tales movie
<Tisha> and jonah, the asparagus, was talking about this place he doesn't want to go to
<Tisha> but like the lord needs his message delivered
<Tisha> and he doesnt' want to go there because everyone slaps one another with fish
<Tisha> and I kept thinking "is that some secret irc reference?"
#40924 +(184)- [X]
<TeichDragon> batir, host a Pr0n site ;)
<batir> hrm... My digital camera is teh sux0r
<Gilthas> Not pr0n of YOU.
#41196 +(109)- [X]
* @Boffbowsh is in shit. i was recreating the backup for the 166, and omitted my dad's accounts
<@Boffbowsh> 5 years of stuff
<@Cheez> thats an "oh fuck" moment methinks
<@Cheez> tell him he should keep up to date backups
<@Boffbowsh> That WAS the backup
#46891 +(189)- [X]
(|Lenore|) why does windows even bother giving estimates? the times change by 5 minutes every thirty seconds...
#47392 +(136)- [X]
<triky> my dad, to this day, says he was in vietnam. and i'm like... dude... that's clinton oklahoma you were in. you joined the airforce so you wouldn't get drafted into the army and die
<triky> the old man then learned computer programming
<triky> and wrote the very famous program that made kentucky fried chicken cash registers work
#47627 +(387)- [X]
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on. try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time. i have better things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
#50677 +(356)- [X]
<Wedgie> yay! the flickering stopped..
<Wedgie> I fetched a hammer and looked at the monitor really threatening :)
#55220 +(88)- [X]
<WTM2K> what if i sodomized a priest while the priest is sodomizing an altar boy, WHILE the altar boy is sodomizing a blind 3-legged kitten?
<Meatball> then you tape it and sell it on the black market
<[N]> yes tape it
<Gentleman> that is hell material
<Livewireo> Only if the kitten was dead
#59693 +(313)- [X]
<Seppukoi> kthx so today in driver's ed we had a guest speaker
<Seppukoi> and he was talking about teh alcohol, and also teh seatbelts
<Seppukoi> he was explaining this article he read
<Seppukoi> well, the article was talking about these two idiots who crashed their car into the front doors of a school
<Seppukoi> and said they were tyring to kill themselves, but they survived with minor injuries because they were wearing seatbelts
<Seppukoi> so I screamed out "HAHA NOOB!!!"
<Seppukoi> and my friend screamed out "those guys SUCK at the killing themselves"
<Seppukoi> he also said "those newbs got fux0red up!"
<Seppukoi> I said "they probably had wallhacks" and the teacher was looking at us like "wtf"
<Seppukoi> we kept talking about it and comparing it to things :/
#62899 +(22)- [X]
*** You were kicked by Carrot_Top (1 800 c-a-ll att)
#71162 +(847)- [X]
<pHluid> GF the other day said something about me not washing my hands after I take a piss
<pHluid> "First of all, I don't piss on my hands. Secondly, you put the damn thing IN YOUR MOUTH, I think I'll be allright to touch it every now and then."
<pHluid> That shut her up.
#74096 +(255)- [X]
<Dzza> i sometimes roleplay as a ninja
<Dzza> i wasnt very popular in highschool =/
#77549 +(2211)- [X]
* unexpected joins the room!
<unexpected> oh shit gotta go
* unexpected left the game.
<Chimerasame> well that was unexpected.
#89853 +(610)- [X]
<Callick> You know..
<Callick> You tend to realize the kind of sad existence you live in when you wake up Friday morning in a sweat stained Namco t-shirt and a pair of yellow old navy swimtrunks.. with last night's pizza grease still on your face and a glass of rotten milk next to you.. and the first thing on your mind is, "Man, I'm gonna have some fun playing my cleric in Dungeons and Dragons today!"
#98423 +(222)- [X]
<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant
#98997 +(132)- [X]
<teefers> im khaleds rat
<teefers> he pays me $20 an hour to log anything anyone says about him on undernet
<teefers> then i send it to him
<teefers> and he winnukes people
<vulture_> teefers: then log this: Khaled, your programming ineptitude must be the envy of every Microsoft programmer. not to mention, I hate you.
* teefers sends that shit to khaled and watches alex get winnuked h0 h0 h0
* vulture_ nearly injures himself watching tcpdump output...
<Untitled2> I wish I were leet enough to interpret tcpdump raw output real time
<vulture_> ever consider filtering it so you don't have to?
<Untitled2> what would the fun in that be
<vulture_> being able to laugh at someone's winnuke attempts?
<Untitled2> There's an idea
<Untitled2> and have it log to syslog "silly nuke attempt from x.x.x.x
<vulture_> "initiating automatic retaliatory smurf..."
#102104 +(277)- [X]
<|CM|>Mongoose> i'm looking for a girl that enjoys having a bad time
<Paralysis> search for the keyword "gothic"
#106916 +(330)- [X]
<-yptosis> I've ingested 12 liters of mountain dew in 4 days.
<CaptainTwopegleg> That's 3 liters a day!
<mike> light weight
<BloodFromStone> That it is.
<-yptosis> Thats a lot for me.
<-yptosis> I've just started pouring it directly in the toilet to save time.
#130643 +(342)- [X]
roovis: oh SHEESH
roovis: kde for women.
roovis: is it strong enough for a man but php balanced for a woman?
#173563 +(406)- [X]
<@Black_Dog> ryo: if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep?
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: damn straight i would
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: or the farmer's daughter
#238334 +(973)- [X]
<Kadon`> Can a dead girl have an orgasm?
<TheMoxy> God.. lol
<Anonymous> How long has she been dead?
<Kadon`> Uh, let me check.
#242534 +(586)- [X]
* Warlocke sings, "What a girl wants, what a girl needs, is a box of Kotex month-lee-ee when she blee-eeds."
#307385 +(1796)- [X]
<passagero> i'm romanian man,i have 18yers old and try to found some one who want to have a relation sheep with me
#328175 +(728)- [X]
Scrodule: i have an interesting obesrvation
Scrodule: if you swing your finger by your ear really fast, you get this very low sounding "wfff" noise
Scrodule: hmm, that sounded more profound while i was thinking about it
#417265 +(298)- [X]
<Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.
#678715 +(1779)- [X]
Ben174: fuckin paypal.. they need new databases or something.. seems like every other day i get an email and have to go update my account information.
#738913 +(289)- [X]
<Rx> I am eating hot dogs that have little bits of cheese inside the frankfurter
<Rx> It is amazing.
<Rx> I am sure this must be an american invention
<Rx> but it's like a man who ejaculates cream cheese is having sex in my mouth with a beautiful pork woman
#820509 +(1408)- [X]
<+JimBastard> you wouldnt believe what just happened
<+JimBastard> i've been tracking my macbook all day on fedex, gets signed for by "One CHILETA" at 3pm...while im at work
<+JimBastard> turns it was misdelivered....TO THE MARCY PROJECTS IN BROOKLYN
<+JimBastard> A BRAND NEW LAPTOP
<+JimBastard> so what did jim bastard do?
<+JimBastard> I put on a button up shirt, black leather jacket, kakhis, and a dress shoes
<+JimBastard> went to the address
<+JimBastard> and pretended i was a detective
<+JimBastard> laptop is sitting on their desk
<+JimBastard> "Maam I'm here about a misdelievered package"
<+JimBastard> "We know its here"
<+JimBastard> "We just want it back, or else I'm going to have to come back with a warrant"
<+JimBastard> "and no one wants that"
<+JimBastard> never underestimate the power of a well dressed well spoken white man in the hood
<+JimBastard> the guy took one look at me as he was walking towards the door....turned around and came back with the package