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#526 +(894)- [X]

<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes

#2707 +(550)- [X]

(driz) sometimes i bring my mom on irc
(crystalize) whats her nick?
(driz) i usually give her the nick Coupon_Master
(driz) because we're jewish, etc.

#4076 +(401)- [X]

*** BlackDeth (xxdethxx@res135a-026.rh.rit.edu) has joined #snogs
<tyne> uh
<tyne> who are u?
<matts> BlackDeth on #snogs @#songs
<BlackDeth> hypr told me to do it
<BlackDeth> i dont know how well you guys know him
<BlackDeth> but you probably realize he isn't the greatest typer/speller!
<matts> HAHAHA
<hypr> shut up flamer
<BlackDeth> so i joined #songs first when he said #snogs

#4130 +(108)- [X]

<djazonic> tiko: do you know how to setup a win2k's telnet server?
<JediPimp> djazonic: format c: ; <insert linux CD>

#4383 +(478)- [X]

<Real> I found a hooker with a heart of gold.  I TORE IT OUT AND MELTED IT DOWN FOR DRUG MONEY!

#5370 +(495)- [X]

<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better than old ones.

#5621 +(830)- [X]

<Straylight> aw3some
<Straylight> oops
<Straylight> haha... i accidentally l33ted

#13395 +(226)- [X]

(akerom) anyone gota picture of a fat naked stomach?
(akerom) or a fat naked girl
(akerom) im making a comic of last night

#15792 +(118)- [X]

<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door)

#16361 +(2346)- [X]

<Jake> so I got dissed by this girl i was talking to online
<Jake> we were getting along really well and she wanted to meet
<Jake> but she wanted a picture
<Jake> so I sent her one (got one of hers, she was fine)
<Jake> she said "I'm really looking for some one more 'athletic'"
<Jake> bummer
<Jake> so i say
<Jake> well im trying hard, ever since i have been able to afford the full time trainer and chef I've lost over 200 lbs
<Jake> she says you can afford a trainer/chef
<Jake> i say yeah
<Jake> she changes her mind about meeting
<Jake> i tell her to go fuck herself

#25008 +(268)- [X]

*** Now talking in #christian
<ircbuddy> :matrix.de.eu.dal.net 432 ircbuddy irc-pope :Non-Ethical nickname
<ircbuddy> Even DALNet knows that the pope is 'non-ethical' :P
<BiblThmpr> excuse me

#27025 +(544)- [X]

<bionic_6) Dude never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

#32548 +(211)- [X]

<enntee> my parents told me one time we were in a fancy restaurant, i was
a child, and i had gone to the bathroom to take a piss
<enntee> i ran out of the bathroom screaming "i made bubbles! i made
bubbles!" because i had always wanted to make bubbles in the toilet water,
but never had enough pee

#33677 +(30)- [X]

Warman89: It's the best game evr.
Meamperson: Which one?
Warman89: Warcraft u idiot!
Meamperson: For the end world spell, press Ctrl+Alt+Delete twice.

#38703 +(304)- [X]

*** MC-Magical_Tetris_Challenge is now known as MC-MarioGolf
<Magisa> do you like
<Magisa> run all the way over to the computer to change your away nick every time you put a new cart in your n64

#40271 +(416)- [X]

<luva_bd> i want a dick in my pussy
<luva_bd> oh and a puppy

#40525 +(358)- [X]

<@kikazz> anyone want a copy of Windows 3.1 in Russian?
<@Nfs> may i ask why you have it?
<@kikazz> because its 8 megs, and it looked better than the polish version
<@kikazz> my options were arabic, catalan, czech, danish, finnish, greek, hebrew, hungarian, japanese, korean, norweigan, persian, polish, russian, simplified chinese, traditional chinese
<@kikazz> .. no english in there :P
<@Nfs> hebrew!
<@kikazz> "shalom, new user"

#40532 +(304)- [X]

*** cuteone4 has joined #photoshop
(cuteone4): has anybody in here helped me with a graphic in the last few days?
(cln): you can be damn sure i havnt
(cuteone4): UP YOURS CLN
(cuteone4): i am trying to learn this program
(cuteone4): stupid layers.
(cln): wait..
(cln): youve been in this chan for what? 2 years?
(cln): and you don't know jack shit about photoshop?
(cuteone4): i just got the program recently

#41298 +(16)- [X]

<Goofy[HSK]> is excess flood server side or client side?
<Erve> it's Europe side atm

#45837 +(579)- [X]

<ruumis> FBI says upcoming terror attack will be "Spectacular!"...Donald Rumsfeld is calling it a "Must See", and Tom Ridge says, "If you heed just one Terror Warning this year...heed this one !"

#46800 +(12)- [X]

<R-e-s-t> i know about 3 quarters of the whole html

#50852 +(543)- [X]

<Matt> What shape is a gamecube?

#51084 +(967)- [X]

<Rivorus> my dad actually called the other day, and he goes "You want to talk to mom" so I say "yeah" and then I hear him shout "Gina, you wanna talk to your son" and I hear her in the back say  "I'm watching TV right now, I'll talk to him at Christmas" and my dad's like "She's... in the shower"

#52920 +(578)- [X]

<Veor> so i was smilin at her and she smilied back
<Veor> so i walked over to her and she kept staring where i was sitting at
<Veor> and she had a cane
<Veor> i realized she was blind

#53843 +(428)- [X]

<Sharna> i dont do linux tho
<Snooky> it solves all the world's problems
<Sharna> world peace too?
<Snooky> actually, let me check
<Sharna> k
<Snooky> ahh, here we go:
<Snooky> Summary of changes from v2.4.20-rc2 to v2.4.20-rc3
   o Change mark_dirty_kiobuf() to use set_page_dirty() instead of SetPageDirty(). The latter fails to move onto mapping->dirty_pages(), which breaks filemap_fdatasync()
<Snooky> as of kernel 2.4.20-rc3, linux has world peace
<Sharna> amazing
<Sharna> why dont more people know about this

#62178 +(187)- [X]

<Lugie> how do i look at a downloaded file
<Paw> open your eyes
<Lugie> where can i find it now thats its downlosaded
<Paw> hit alt + F4 to open your last downloaded program
Quits [Lugie]: (Lugie@AC852723.ipt.aol.com) (Quit:)

#71964 +(605)- [X]

liz: you know if love was measured in kb's ...it would take HOURS for me to upload my love for you.
mikey: *taps your forehead* that's because of your small upstream bandwidth dear.
mikey: <3
liz: hahahhahahhahahhaha
liz: god i love it when you talk dorky to me
mikey: also, i seem to be dropping syn packets.
mikey: i suspect a collision somewhere on your train of thought.
liz: ping www.loveformikey.com
mikey: host not found :-(

#75222 +(154)- [X]

<matanle> can someone help me use the trainer for mafia, i never used a trainer before?
<bobFoo> go get the trainer trainer

#76387 +(22)- [X]

<Kuroko> lasagna --> waffles ---> pie ---> cake ---> death by chocolate ---> chocolate coffins ---> embalmed in chocolate ---> maggots and chocolate ---> sexy chocolate-covered corpses

#77050 +(383)- [X]

<Tetsuro> You have a blog?
<Kat> dude
<Kat> I'm an angsty suburbian teenager
<Kat> and you're asking me if I have a WEBLOG?

#80052 +(50)- [X]

<feem> are we playing cs yet
<Gren> what server are you guys on?
<feem> are we playing cs yet
<Nix-7c0> <feem> are we playing cs yet?
<Nix-7c0> <Gren> what server are you guys on?
<feem> are we playing cs yet?
<impossible> i'd play.
<colddrink|away> ill play too
<Gren> i would play as well
*** colddrink|away is now known as colddrink
<Nix-7c0> <feem> ARE WE PLAYING CS YET?
<Gren> i'd play CS
<Gren> what server are we playing on?
<feem> i don't know
<Gren> hey feem, are we playing CS?
<feem> i don't know
<colddrink> i heard were playing cs dudes
<Nix-7c0> <feem> ARE WE PLAYING CS YET?

#82063 +(81)- [X]

<Cleve> my history teacher looks just like drew carey. and just like the real drew carey, he always makes jokes that noone laughs at

#82087 +(578)- [X]

<Foobar> hah the FBI is probably monitoring us
*** Foobar has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#93832 +(382)- [X]

<Treen> did you hear?  hillary rosen, the lady from the RIAA will be writing Iraq's new copyright law.
<+Antiarc> Yeah
<Treen> god help those poor fuckers.
<+Antiarc> No kidding
<AshPlissken> Are you shitting us?
<Treen> nope.
<+Antiarc> You know...
<+Antiarc> Actually, that's brilliant.
<+Antiarc> Bush is a freaking genius.
<+Antiarc> See...
<+Antiarc> ...he lets Rosen goes in...
<+Antiarc> ...she sets up copyright law...
<+Antiarc> ...Bush bombs her to free the Iraqi people from another oppressive dictator.

#98447 +(884)- [X]

<Diamond> But what's truly awesome is my new Radeon 9500 Pro.
<Diamond> That I will treat as if it were my first-born child.
<Diamond> ...Apparently when I have kids I'm going to stick them inside a small aluminum box.
<Diamond> And have them process numbers for me all day.
<Diamond> So I can watch porn.

#100527 +(564)- [X]

<Snipe> you forget though, I have wayyy too much time on my hands
<Snipe> wait, no i dont
<Snipe> fuck that project is due tomorrow
<Snipe> brb

#107303 +(111)- [X]

<GaNja> anyone here good at setting up video cards?
<Blue> nope, im horrible at it myself, so bad in fact i dont even havea video card
<GaNja> oh
<GaNja> that sucks

#141296 +(224)- [X]

<Ayesha> half the men in my family have mullets XD
<dunderhead> are half the people in your family in serious relationships with other people in the famly as well?
<dunderhead> thats usually the consequence of rocking the mullet

#218577 +(767)- [X]

<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what decade

#425480 +(480)- [X]

<_chaos> The world will be perfect when you can log conversations from real life.
<_chaos> For example if a man denies sleeping with another woman his wife can just check the logs.
<_chaos> And the only way to cheat is if you had admin powers to edit the logs... like me. heh :)
<CCDude> or i could kick your nerdy ass and make you do it for me
<_chaos> Then you would be arrested after they checked the logs!
<CCDude> shit
<CCDude> your still a fucking nerd
<_chaos> And your still an idiot. :D

#464444 +(1112)- [X]

<Phryss> Sometimes, I sit back and think about what my father used to tell me about the birds and the bees: "Stop fucking the dog.  The neighbors are watching, and it's their dog."

#574181 +(723)- [X]

<skreid> so i was trick or treating right
<GODLY> arent u a little old for that?
<skreid> fuck no
<skreid> anyway
<skreid> so i went as a present this year, just a bigass bow and some curled ribbons, and i go up to this door
<skreid> and a 75 year old woman and her husband open the door, and the woman goes "what are you?"
<skreid> i go "a present", and she gives me candy.  just as i start to walk away, she goes
<skreid> "who would want that??"
<skreid> and some little kid behind me just goes "OHHHH!  BURN!"
<GODLY> loser.

#618579 +(2246)- [X]

<Altair> hey guys
<Altair> gotta question for you all.
<Altair> If you could listen to one song before you died, what would it be?
<Spike> The song that never ends?

#652068 +(1192)- [X]

<yadrisil> Quit being emo.
<alexsavage> i'm not emo, the glass is half full
<yadrisil> Half full... with tears.
<alexsavage> ;_;

#715122 +(625)- [X]

hjdjoo: well, you know what they say
hjdjoo: "the second-best way to get into a girl's pants is to play the guitar"
hjdjoo: "the absolute best way is chloroform"
hjdjoo: -plutarch
hjdjoo: or was that plato?
hjdjoo: it was one of the great philosophers i think.

#737693 +(943)- [X]

<Daniel> Spongebob is a tampon.
<Daniel> He's a sponge who lives in bikini bottom with Mr Crabs.
<Nictheman> lmao

#770965 +(1100)- [X]

<@G3_> Half of all adults in the United States say they have registered as an organ donor, although only some have purchased a motorcycle to show that they're really serious about it.

#848957 +(2631)- [X]

Nameskaz: can you help me with an experiment real quick?
MarineWife021406: sure
Nameskaz: let me see you naked
MarineWife021406: no
Nameskaz: you see, these fortune cookies are bullshit
Nameskaz: "Your courage will reward you" my ass

#919845 +(2971)- [X]

<@Ricky> According to BBC News, the father of the Nigerian who attempted to blow up the Delta airliner whilst approaching Detroit had emailed US authorities to warn them about his son's extreme anti American views. This man happened to be a very wealthy banker.
<@Ricky> You can imagine the email arriving at the US Government's offices:
<@Ricky> Good afternoon, I am a wealthy Nigerian banker....

#942468 +(45)- [X]

<DragnFly> You know, what we need is a room of all american chatters. Since people are always quiet on IRC anyways, we can call it "American Idle" :p

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