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#546 +(340)- [X]

<KidHype> discovery channel should have a droppy tits from around the world week
* PtitFous undresses then
<MikeDX> except its shown on CNN and called "world famine report"

#1590 +(985)- [X]

<Camo> wiz
<Camo> have you ever gotten something taken away from you by the principal in middle school?
<Wizkid`> yes, my virginity

#2351 +(235)- [X]

<Horizon> Harhar! I get a paper that says "Congradulations, you are less of an idiot now."
<Morbii> does it have a small "but you're still canadian" attached to an asterisk or something too?
<Morbii> :P

#2735 +(245)- [X]

<snag> i once jerked off in my face, just to see what it was like

#3165 +(1247)- [X]

<myst> so what about you? anything interesting?
<Joshua> i'm writting a book and i just left a naked lady in her bed seconds before her roommates came home.
<Joshua> it was like *pulls on pants* *roommates walk in*
<myst> what's your book about?
<Joshua> lol!
<Joshua> yup, you're a chick
<myst> lol
<myst> rofl

#3237 +(414)- [X]

<Tisha> dialup boy!
<supreemball> at least i dont have problems :)
*** supreemball has quit IRC (Quit: Connection reset by peer)

#6443 +(225)- [X]

<signine> "PIPE YOUR OUTPUT THROUGH THAT, BITCH!"
<far_call> "you can stick that in your pipe and awk it"

#7030 +(271)- [X]

<Adar> "If you handle an envelope and some white powder spills out, you should _____________?"
<Boog|Happy> "Sniff it?"

#7275 +(402)- [X]

[Leviath] I have a funny tingle in my nose. At 3:30pm I ate some Kettle Chilli chips and went into this coughing/snorting fit and coughed a small piece of chilli chip up my nose and snorted it out. It burned like HELL and I in turn created a scene being the 27 year old crying gayboy with a bag of chips in one hand and some printer paper I used to blow my nose on in the other :(((

#7339 +(148)- [X]

<NeSSa`> yeah but he isnt fucking him?
<[ben]> not to my knowledge...jason was walkin a little funny tonight though

#8051 +(207)- [X]

<Opio-> theres a mexican restaurant around here.. after you're done eating they give you mints that are called "Spi C mints"

#8970 +(198)- [X]

* Rogue feeds CardO's ass a cracker so he'll stop talking outta it

#15594 +(290)- [X]

<Nani-chan> hey folks, can we keep it semi clean right now? my parents might be watching and i dont wanna get in trouble
<Nani-chan> crack: 14 y.o girl, you  dumbass cockless bitch
<RikisuuDelta> quite hypocritical if you ask me

#16813 +(107)- [X]

<B-ob> if (sleep < 0) then talk = null
<Stonefish> oh smeg off

#17209 +(219)- [X]

<Sterring> please , I don't really understand english expression cause I'm not so good in english....
<Sterring> use simple words
<Nickname> you stupid

#17405 +(172)- [X]

<Blade> what's for supper my beautiful wife?
<Blade> you on a silver platter?
<Blade> CPU: AMD Athlon Thunderbird clocked at 1453.26 MHz
<Blade> OS: Microsoft Windows 98 Second Edition [4.10.2222]
<Blade> RAM: 257MB / 512MB <29% load>
<Blade> Video: NVIDIA GeForce2 MX/MX 400 (1024x768x16 bits) <63MB/64MB video RAM>
<Blade> Sound: SB Live! Wave Device (Driver Version: 5.0) [Stereo]
<Blade> Network Interfaces: NDIS 5.0 driver (Ethernet) <10000000 bps> [5.4 MB received / 0.3 MB sent]
<Blade> Disk: a: ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB....c: (WINDOZE)[FAT32]: 4.4GB/4.9GB....d: (BUZINESS)[FAT32]: 12.4GB/12.6GB....e: (PLEAZURE)[FAT32]: 22.0GB/23.7GB....f: ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB
<Blade> Uptime: 0 days, 1 hrs, 2 mins, 3 secs
<SK> what a great prelude to sex.
<SK> system information.

#26716 +(125)- [X]

#36373 +(473)- [X]

#37359 +(163)- [X]

<crazy> you just made a huge withdrawl from the first bank of fag.

#41221 +(233)- [X]

<MpTaNk> one time on a test we had to find answers to questions that were in a book and insted of looking for the page I tryed to ctrl+f
<MpTaNk> it was a shocking feeling when I realized I couldn't do it

#49574 +(20)- [X]

<Jon> quick
<Jon> turn to the victorias secret show
<Jon> theres a present for you :D
<merc0> mmm...
<merc0> Wish i could open that present

#52704 +(622)- [X]

<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason

#54264 +(217)- [X]

<Que> i don't mind talking
<Que> but having pictures of my penis online
<Que> yeah, not safe
<Throttle-OSX> nah, havin yer cock and yer face in the same pic is not safe ;)
<Odin> lol
<Throttle-OSX> havin yer cock and yer exgirlfriends face in the same pics...now thats just funny

#65655 +(165)- [X]

<Tramtrist> anyone seen vaun?(fucko?)
<Tramtrist> someone post on vn and tell him to get in here pzl(plz)
<Mardom> i saw him giving sexual favors to men
<Tramtrist> k
<Tramtrist> anyone not a complete tard see him?
<Mardom> haha
<Mardom> good luck finding one of those in here
<Tramtrist> yeah ;/

#68431 +(166)- [X]

<Sil> WHY CAN'T I BE DEPRESSED ON MY OWN?! Everyone else gets depressed and pissy when i'm down......grrr......
<Elfasi> The key to being depressed on your own, is to go away and be alone and not tell anyone about it :)

#69861 +(558)- [X]

<adm> i should run for office
<adm> and my slogan will be this
<adm> "I DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS! :D"
<adm> with the smiley and everything
<ryu829> hey i cant log in through mirc
<adm> I DON'T CARE! :D

#75558 +(279)- [X]

* Wee humps Hannah's leg.
<Hannah> thats my prosthetic leg
* Wee humps Hannah's other leg.
<Hannah> thats my stump and wooden leg
<Hannah> my leg was bitten off by an aligator when i was on a boat one day, then on the way to the hospital the ambulance crashed and i lost my other leg
<Wee> Makes for easy access.
<Hannah> sicko

#76232 +(365)- [X]

<+{R3D}Hurricane> im watching the backstreet boys on SNL....and i finally realize why foreign countries hate the U.S. so much

#83310 +(712)- [X]

(dariball_) n8 all
(jason-) i think it means night.
(jason-) but i'm not leet enough like that.
(Xentac) hehehe
(Xentac) but night ends in ite... and 8 ends in ate...
(Xentac) so he's saying nate
(jason-) i can understand like "i 8 your chicken because it looked at my prost8."
(jason-) that makes more sense
(jason-) well kinda.

#98037 +(126)- [X]

*** sonic_1 (rick@highlife.net) has joined channel #perl
<sonic_1> can someone tell me whats wrong with this script?
<sonic_1> #!/usr/bin/perl
<sonic_1> for $x in 'ls --width=1';
<sonic_1> do 'mv $x ~$x/Mailbox;chown $x.mail ~$x/Mailbox';
<sonic_1> fi

#98459 +(261)- [X]

(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all through the house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and didn't believe in christmas

#99713 +(776)- [X]

<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.

#104725 +(207)- [X]

<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!

#151071 +(948)- [X]

[+Matt] Problem is, Cube fans are angered because they think everyone thinks Nintendo make kids game
[+Matt] And Xbox fans are angered because they think that everyone thinks the Xbox is a brick
[%Crok] nintendo and microsoft should work together to make lego

#164246 +(556)- [X]

<DJCubby> those nintendo songs are apparently done by New Tokyo Philharmonic
<DJCubby> I think
<SomeGuy> The Old Tokyo Philharmonic missed a beat and they all commited seppuku.

#254442 +(293)- [X]

HefnersCrew2005: If you rape a hooker, is it theft?

#458650 +(1258)- [X]

<@drwiii> so ecbc and I go to gamestop to get Mario 64 DS.
<@drwiii> and i bring my DS along.
<@drwiii> then we go to this chinese restaurant.
<@drwiii> and as ecbc's coming back from the restroom, he's like "dude did that
          kid steal your gameboy?"
<@drwiii> there was some kid at another table fucking around with PictoChat on
          his own DS
<@drwiii> so i changed the nickname on mine, found the room he was in, and
          scribbled "What you just ate wasn't chicken." and sent it
<@drwiii> and like 10 seconds later i hear over my shoulder "EWWWW!"
<@drwiii> apparently he showed it to his mom
<@drwiii> i powered mine down and kept on eating.
<@drwiii> that was the best thing EVER.

#625794 +(1024)- [X]

#631768 +(19)- [X]

* Acetal changes topic to 'Snakes! In a movie theatre!'
<Acetal> There's an idea for a promotion.

#635274 +(1753)- [X]

#638737 +(3)- [X]

<Sid> SIDS is a sad way for babies to die.
<Sid> They could've grown up to be suicide bombers or something interesting.
<FingerGauntlet> Well
<FingerGauntlet> now you can use the corpses as ammo for small catapults

#665792 +(161)- [X]

<djbjrca> Loonietoon: what OS are you on
<Loonietoon> im not on os
<Loonietoon> isnt that mac
<Loonietoon> im windows

#698233 +(1486)- [X]

Flared Oblivion: Do you play MS?
knucklehead800: MapleStory?
Flared Oblivion: Yes
knucklehead800: Never heard of it

#723906 +(3676)- [X]

<Phyxius> Hmm there are some black people hanging around outside the gates at the end of my driveway, brb
<Courtney> mkay hb
<Phyxius> HOLY SHIT THEYRE GONE
<Courtney> The black people?
<Phyxius> NO, MY GATES

#759858 +(1307)- [X]

<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!

#761092 +(482)- [X]

[Wex] Before IRC I could masturbate to the word boobs.
[Wex] Now I need /at least/ German bondage.
[Wex] I hate you all.

#770519 +(482)- [X]

Allan: incidentally, my house is Zombie resistant.
Crysm: how so?
Allan: I wonder why that is
Allan: elevated first floor, strong steel doors.
Allan: the windows are out of reach, basically.
Crysm: it's next to a graveyard, man
Crysm: the planners had to think ahead
Allan: good point
Allan: ...dear god, I gave my house a zombie proofing assessment.
Allan: That's... a whole new level of something.

#810448 +(1024)- [X]

Lurker: i just watched some ad on the apple website
Lurker: that was poking fun at how pcs get syntax errors and fatal errors
Lurker: and then i click the next movie and it goes
Lurker: 'Quicktime performed an illegal operation, it is highly recommended that you restart firefox'

#841435 +(1517)- [X]

<Sam> Coding in C is like sending a 3 year old to do groceries. You gotta tell them exactly what you want or you'll end up with a cupboard full of pop tarts and pancake mix.

#944959 +(1184)- [X]

you there... the guy from Australia using BigPond and spamming junk into the submission queue along with ads for some stupid weeaboo site.
yes, you.
KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO EVEN VIEW THIS SITE!

0.0476 20958 quotes approved; 4418 quotes pending
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