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#218 +(403)- [X] <CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade...
#774 +(210)- [X] <Maarken> anyone know of good places to price cisco stuff? I don't want to do all their touchy feely salesperson shit.
#2868 +(123)- [X] <shervin> DMC talks shit like no other and yet hes OP
<Gethoht> OP?
<Gethoht> oh, op
<Gethoht> i thought you meant "original playa" or somethin
#3937 +(647)- [X] <Nall> type /nick newname to fix your name
*** amit is now known as newname
#4760 +(227)- [X] <timmo> which sucks because
<timmo> sometimes you forget the thing behind the sn
<timmo> is a fucking ugly troll
<timmo> you start thinking youre talking to a person and shit
#6488 +(95)- [X] <firebone> btw my fav jpop group is Goa Tse Ceex
#7568 +(144)- [X] <foop> i've felt girl ejaculations
<sneak> i'm talking about apache
#7588 +(155)- [X] <human> beethoven and mozart should have had a kid
<human> then marry this kid to enya
<human> then have their children play with a roland xp-30
<human> then you'll get some nice tunes
#8707 +(224)- [X] <fraggle> get in trouble?
<Afterglow> fraggle: getting in trouble because you look like elton john, of course
<fraggle> yeah they're always disappointed when they find i cant play candle in the wind
<fraggle> "so.. we measure the voltage across.... wait is that elton john back there? can you play us a song?"
#9386 +(150)- [X] (gENERIC) who the hell came up with the word twat?
(gENERIC) that's the suavest thing i've heard next to love-tunnel
#10423 +(184)- [X] <nwinter> i think i could've made a better spreadsheet with graph paper
and a crayon.
<hep> hahaha
<nwinter> i had to put an audit i did into a spreadsheet because
apparently my boss doesn't like documents in the UNIVERSALLY READABLE
format known as ASCII.
<nwinter> he will soon receive my weekly status report as an attachment
named "micromanagement.txt"
#10429 +(163)- [X] <Toast> WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Pentagon (news - web sites) has
received information indicating that U.S. warplanes on Monday might have
accidentally bombed a home for senior citizens near the Afghan city of
Herat, a senior defense official said on Tuesday.
<Toast> *sigh*
<dert> oh god
<Toast> I guess that's what happens when you round up the dumbest 10% of
society, give them really big bombs and let them go nuts 10,000 miles
away
#11261 +(774)- [X] * Tomko slaps saber with Oprah's clitoris, which resembles some kind of gnarled and pulsating sweet potato
<ducks> WTF
#14389 +(142)- [X] <PrincessLeia2> caffine is much less deadly tho'
<MykBev> not if you smoke it!
#15663 +(325)- [X] <WintrHawk> you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a chicken head
<WintrHawk> a power company found that out the hard way
#15665 +(203)- [X] SomeNick: if you tell a girl to never call you again and that she annoys you.... haven't spoke to her in over a month and she's msg'd you a few times on aim but you didn't reply... do you think calling her and telling her it was all a big joke is believable?
#22260 +(74)- [X] <Atreides> crap i just deleted dransik
<Atreides> stupid gms..
<[Blitzkrieg]> lol
<Bartolimis> You're calling the GMs stupid because YOU deleted dransik?
<Atreides> yep
#23020 +(81)- [X] <jbou> I live in the liberal state of MA, and we can drinkalcohol, and penetrate naked women at the same time
<YCDK> Drink alcohol, penetrate naked women... #insert "kennedy_joke.h"
#42357 +(629)- [X] <Daedalus> Film noir cereal..."Without thinking, I crammed that deadly sliver of metal carrying the city's most infamous breakfast food into my maw. The tiny flakes snapped and popped, like the fingers of a mob snitch after they found 'im. It wasn't good cereal. But it was better than a gut fulla led."
#55020 +(176)- [X] <Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a math tv show and we all start watching.
#55341 +(725)- [X] <whiskers> wtf
<whiskers> my sister just called me from her room
<whiskers> told me to turn down the music
<Spyder|TV> crank it
<torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT
<Kinuvan> CRANK IT
*whiskers turns up the music
<whiskers>i hear steps
*** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)
#58532 +(1247)- [X] <wangschlong> So i was walking by some house
<wangschlong> and some hot girl was staring at me from the house
<wangschlong> so i go closer and shes still staring at me
<wangschlong> it turns out
<wangschlong> IT WAS A FUCKING LAMP
#74945 +(354)- [X] <Nastard> hey everyone, quick poll
<Nastard> raise your hand if you ever want to have sex again
<Nastard> keep it up if you realistically expect it to happen
<ziz> move it up and down quickly if you don't
#75796 +(375)- [X] * a17geL637 huggles anthony
* Ariyn rubs anthony's face in his manboobs
<Anthony> YAAAAAAAY! and NOOOOOOOOO! respectivelyyyyyyyy!!!
#77324 +(141)- [X] .!. @Risiken wonders where her cam is being hosted =\
.!. BoHolbrook wonders where his balls are being hosted
( Psy ) [BoHolbrook]: www.tiny.com
#82171 +(83)- [X] <HamhamSoZ> Oops. ITV aren't going to like that.
<Bashman> What?
<HamhamSoZ> Looks like the US army took out an ITV news crew.
<Bashman> O_O
<HamhamSoZ> Maybe that'll mean more interesting television instead of the same crappy news over and over ^^
#89783 +(422)- [X] <bl00d|straitjacket> dude i pissed my boss of soooo bad today
<bl00d|straitjacket> i was late for work saturday because i was waiting for the DSL tech to show
<bl00d|straitjacket> so i get in today and he asks me why i was late
<bl00d|straitjacket> i told him about the dsl tech and all
<bl00d|straitjacket> he goes "What internet not workin so you cant look at porn all day?"
<bl00d|straitjacket> and i says: "What can i say your wife looked good in her college years bro"
#89853 +(529)- [X] <Callick> You know..
<Callick> You tend to realize the kind of sad existence you live in when you wake up Friday morning in a sweat stained Namco t-shirt and a pair of yellow old navy swimtrunks.. with last night's pizza grease still on your face and a glass of rotten milk next to you.. and the first thing on your mind is, "Man, I'm gonna have some fun playing my cleric in Dungeons and Dragons today!"
#105459 +(313)- [X] <pleb> MY OTHER COMPUTER IS YOUR IIS SERVER
#111835 +(394)- [X] *** Ettin|Succubi is now known as Moses
<Moses> /part #oceans
#137988 +(91)- [X] <evileye|ESC> http://promotions.yahoo.com/yodel/
<evileye|ESC> YAhOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!
<Hellfire> ROFL
<evileye|ESC> "DO NOT ENTER THIS PROMOTION IF YOU ARE NOT LOCATED AND LEGALLY RESIDING IN THE UNITED STATES (EXCEPT FLORIDA) DURING THE ENTIRE TERM OF THIS PROMOTION."
<evileye|ESC> EXCEPT FLORIDA!
<evileye|ESC> damn old people
<Hellfire> hahaha
<Hellfire> they dont want the professional florida yodelers to win......
#138858 +(309)- [X] <iPBS> you know
<iPBS> there were billions of virus emails traveling the net last week
<iPBS> people were complainging about getting hundreds of emails in their inbox's
<iPBS> and i didn't get a single email virus
<slightly> me neither
<iPBS> whats that say about our popularity?
<slightly> :(
#162166 +(295)- [X] <DizzDvl> didja know that a bee's penis breaks off in the queen and she saves it for later?
<rabbit> saves it for later for what?
<DizzDvl> saves it for later when she needs to fertilize eggs
<MoouadDib> if the queen's next lover isn't as good she slaps him with the penis of previous lovers
#162529 +(235)- [X] <ChOeL> MASTURBASTE
<LilPest> I can't, my computer's broken
<ChOeL> well
<Chibs> Do it yourself then
#217416 +(688)- [X] <ShatnersBassoon>Ouch. Just been to the toilet for a poo, and I decided to do a bit of a dangleberry-tidy. Suffice it to say I'm now several bumhairs lighter.
<Kenny>That's probably more information that I needed.
<Kenny>"than"
<Kenny>fuck
#238969 +(1162)- [X] * Reddog is now known as You
* You have performed an Illegal operation, please Restart Windows
* You is now known as Reddog
* Desh has quit IRC (Quit: brb gotta restart windows...stupid trillian yelling at me)
#294869 +(454)- [X] <Supamoochu> do you know durex have a guaruntee that their condoms will not get people preggers
<Supamoochu> i wonder how they refund
<Flamebird> with a free coathanger
#374577 +(143)- [X] sugarat: how to tell if you're a nerd - subtract the number of boyfriends/girlfriends from the number of computers you've owned. if you're left with a positive number, you're a nerd.
LordWork: lol
ltcolumbo: I'm not a nerd, I'm a geek
SPLURGE: whew
SPLURGE: im not a nerd
SPLURGE: you know
SPLURGE: i really am a nerd
SPLURGE: that test sucks
SPLURGE: i wonder if hookers count
ltcolumbo: can i just call you a "john"?
SPLURGE: i suppose you could
SPLURGE: but the girls i have sex with are too ugly to be paid for it
#403374 +(1376)- [X] <GC> do you have any idea how hard it is killing flies on your screen when its a touchscreen!? you have to wait till they walk off a button
<Mfling> rofl
<mx> heh
<GC> i swear they have started to get wise and just sit around on the close buttons of all my apps!
#423445 +(866)- [X] <Reliken> AIM is like the ugly chick who gives SUCH good head, and works sooooooo well. MSN is like the typical hot blonde. Gorgeous, but you can't communicate with her. Yahoo! is the creepy guy whacking off in the corner that no one likes, and Trillian is the average looking bisexual male.
#446861 +(827)- [X] <MikeH> hey nirgle, since youve worked with php and im guessing have done a bit with sessions, whats the easiest way to keep track of multiple form entries spaced out among multiple pages, and then at the end when all is said and done, write said form entries to a text file ?
<nirgle> hmm, i'll think about it in the shower
<nirgle> brb
--time passes--
<nirgle> i lost my train of thought in the shower
<nirgle> and was thinking about lawn gnomes
<nirgle> sorry
#471449 +(2025)- [X] <ppg> if guns kill people
<ppg> then pencils misspell words
<ppg> and cars make people drive drunk
<ppg> and spoons made rosie o'donnell fat
#509504 +(2086)- [X] <TLF> smoke
<TLF> im calling u out hustlah
<TLF> bring it
<MegaSmokeX> Why, bitch?
<TLF> first person to hack the other person wins
<MegaSmokeX> k
<TLF> lets see your 1337 skillz bitch hahaha
*** Signoff: TLF (Connection reset by peer)
<Ginnsu> Goddamn O_O
<Saunders> pnwed.
<MegaSmokeX> I think thats the luckiest Ive ever been in my life...
#511422 +(2448)- [X] <Dejos> I was killed by a rabit in D&D once
<Wiser> lol
<Dejos> stupid DM
<recursive> did it have big sharp pointy teeth?
<recursive> \/\/\/\/\/
<Dejos> no! it didnt have squat.. I tripped over it and fell off a cliff
#515496 +(1498)- [X] <Knighted_> goddammit
<Knighted_> why can't anything i think of turn out right?
<Knighted_> listerine + foot odour smells worse than just feet, and now my shoes are technically flammable
#573404 +(423)- [X] <Chrisco> stifffyyy where have you been?
<Stifler> i said the meanest thing to my girlfriend last night >=-)
<Stifler> you know.. cause i've been spending soo much time with her, neglectin the gaming and all..
<Stifler> well i said "you know i spend soo much time with you, i wish you were deaf, so i could get like community service for hanging out with you, i'd have a bajillion hours!"
<Chrisco> oh.. no wonder your back online again.
#606888 +(245)- [X] <rancid_beaver> im sick and tired of this relationshit
<rancid_beaver> relationship*
<rancid_beaver> how the fuck did i mispell that?
#617477 +(1231)- [X] <Nichole> at what point do you cross that line from "seeing someone" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" status
<RobbiePaul> After he starts hitting you
<Nichole> fist or open handed?
#757657 +(835)- [X] <recursive> If being an idiot was illegal, it would probably be easier to keep the criminals outside the jails and use them as fortresses.
#868223 +(6547)- [X] <Domsey> Woah, I got the weirdest moment of my entire life this morning
<bender> what happened?
<Domsey> you know, there was a party at my neighbours' last night
<bender> yeah, you've been fucking drunk..
<Domsey> you've been there, too?
<bender> sure...
<Domsey> well, you see i can't remember anything
<Domsey> but this morning I woke up in my bed, and there was my mom lying next to me.
<bender> wtf...?
<Domsey> That's exactly what i thought
<Domsey> So, my mom got up instantly when i woke up, smiled at me and said "U're so much better than your dad is." then she left the room
<bender> OMFG!!!
<bender> you didnt do that! TELL ME IT WASNT LIKE THAT!!! TELL ME YOU'RE A DUMBASS LIAR!!!
<Domsey> no, i'm not lying
<bender> OMG!!!
<Domsey> but it turned out she was playing a trick on me. Paycheck for coming home late, all drunk.
<bender> ...
<bender> your mom's such a freak. o.O
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