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#401 +(103)- [X]

<Cducharme> My penis has nice settings!
<Dr_DOS> YES
<Dr_DOS> Sidewinner

#3833 +(148)- [X]

<Sylffor> The Legend of Zelda for the NES had replay value with the Second Quest.
<TURBOMEAT> by that logic, every single game with Randomly Generated Dungeons has infinite replay value
<nitrifik_> I don't even think those have one-play value :o

#5113 +(446)- [X]

<reub> if i ever met you guys in real life i would never touch your rulers

#5598 +(7107)- [X]

<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

#7681 +(13)- [X]

* harbor21 explains to the channel subtle cheating.. an example from my life:
once went to my boyfriends house and we had sex... and he peed on me... and then the next time he came to my house i had sex with him but wouldn't pee on him(worried about my carpet)
* harbor21 is a suble cheater

#7887 +(46)- [X]

<Cheese> I'm going t be a millionaire and buy a bus soon

#9372 +(371)- [X]

<treph> I have my computer
<treph> and
<treph> no job.
<treph> > i
<treph> You are carrying:
<treph> a computer
<treph> no job

#10288 +(314)- [X]

* kaori hugs Corey as a friend.
<Surago> how else do you hug someone?
<kaori> There are
<kaori> different ways
<kaori> to hug people
<Surago> A very friendly hug consists of you hugging my legs while you suck my penis?

#10943 +(330)- [X]

barry: 41 pix til my cam rolls over
barry: woo
Eoghann: how many til it plays dead?
Zaren: </rimshot>

#11232 +(70)- [X]

<Karma> brb bathroom...
<DasAJ> we dont call the toilet a bathroom
<DasAJ> ever tried bathing in the toilet?
<SaladInc> there's a bath in the room though
<DasAJ> not here
<DasAJ> toilet is next door to the bathroom
<DasAJ> I dont want some dirty fucker stinking out the bathroom when i need to brush my teeth

#15433 +(120)- [X]

<EmSea> anyone here live in cincinnati?
<|TIA|PoP> nope
<|TIA|PoP> not i
<EmSea> was i talking to you

#21184 +(571)- [X]

<phoena>: I made the mistake of sending my husband to the store. He bought a case of Froot Loops.  Fourteen boxes.  I don't hate Froot Loops now, but I think I will 14 boxes from now.

#25385 +(1713)- [X]

<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#27168 +(460)- [X]

<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
* PERL_ZEALOT has been kicked by PERL_ZEALOT (cock in mouth)
* PERL_ZEALOT (~perlzeal@d-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx.dynamic.umr.edu) has joined #xxxxxxxx
* ChanServ sets mode +o PERL_ZEALOT
<PERL_ZEALOT> whoops XD
<PERL_ZEALOT> Stupid auto-complete

#30380 +(824)- [X]

<Rage> Best pickup line ever is "Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"

#36754 +(453)- [X]

<BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man

#37306 +(227)- [X]

(Proalpha): SOMEONE BEEN HACKING MY FUCKING COMP WHO IS IT!, I WILL FIND YOU I GOT YOU ADDRESS FUCKER. [AMSG]
(Proalpha): HELP ME OUT, HIS IP IS 216.226.129.209
*** Looking up 216.226.129.209
*** Resolved 216.226.129.209 to security-scanner.progameplayer.com

#37368 +(386)- [X]

<Fiero_Firestorm> My sister's singing to her crap...
<Strife> ...
<Strife> Your sister is singing to her turds?
<Fiero_Firestorm> No.
<Fiero_Firestorm> Her music.
<Strife> Does that make it come out easi--oh!

#37371 +(192)- [X]

<Altar57> he banged himself a youngin
<Altar57> err
<Altar57> not banged
<Altar57> bagged
<sloane1420> hhaha lmao
<Altar57> hmm, i guess that isnt much better :p

#38064 +(103)- [X]

<pimpybra> Did you just get off on that?
<Valgar_> On Tuna?
<Valgar_> I like it, but not that much

#39183 +(389)- [X]

<fanf1> linux is more compatible with unix than windows is with windows

#44810 +(433)- [X]

<moe_> Hello, can someone answer my question : how can I call a bool function from another function? I am trying if (!Class::function()) { cout << "error\n"; exit(-1);  }
<moe_> but it is not working
<moe_> it prints error

#55468 +(165)- [X]

* DRagon87 flips quarter
<DRagon87> heads
<Squirl> is heads the bottom?

#56188 +(203)- [X]

<fantom> I'm going to play drinking games with tcpdump. what keyword should make me take a drink?
<rizzoh> tcp

#71433 +(422)- [X]

<hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not only against our rules but it is also against the law. It constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud. Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
<hans> 0_o
*** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
<Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?

#73059 +(1659)- [X]

<devoid> did you know what dell dude got busted for pot
<SSSXIII> yeah ;D
<devoid> it confuses me because i always thought marijuana was a gateway drug

#75482 +(228)- [X]

wavesound: anyone here know a lot about friction problems?
enkorat: as in physics?
enkorat: or sex stuff?

#76045 +(221)- [X]

<sexygurlah> well ya he's kinda nice n everything..
<mAdmAn6> i guess its ok with you
<sexygurlah> we had sex together already, it was pretty great, actually
<mAdmAn6> oohh.. thats fast
<ohlyo> erm, now i wanna get laid.
<sexygurlah> one thing annoys me - my balls slap so hard when i'm having sex with him
<ohlyo> o_O
<mAdmAn6> ugh. you still wanna get laid?

#89750 +(849)- [X]

<god> afk, seventh day

#90144 +(239)- [X]

*** Sickenen (~hectarcam@vlan401-086-153.maconline.McMaster.CA) has joined #cnn
<Sickenen> is the war in Iraq over yet?
<Sickenen> din't pay cable bill and phone was cut off awhile ago
<DooD> yet he still has broadband

#98871 +(497)- [X]

<Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences between Norwegian and English.
<Katsmall> Where's Norway?
<Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
<Teeks> Land of four A's.
<Katsmall> Is that so?
<Katsmall> Which four A's?
<Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!

#105168 +(181)- [X]

<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that

#136534 +(5086)- [X]

<Raven> Come, boy wonder! We shall rid the world of crime!
<monkeymilk> yes! together we will thwart evil-doers and criminals alike!
<Raven> To the batcave!
<monkeymilk> wait, my download just finished
<monkeymilk> 20 minutes of gun point rape
<monkeymilk> or so the description says
* monkeymilk is away - away
<Raven> ...Maybe he's trying to think up ways to save the girl. =/
<Robocop> he never said girl, could be two guys
<Raven> ...
<Raven> So, Robocop, are you prepared to clense the world of evil in the name of justice, as my trusty sidekick?
<Robocop> no i'm busy trying to find a good site for making a pipe-bomb
* Raven is starting to think IRC isn't the best place to start his superhero campaign.

#137595 +(796)- [X]

<Disciple> Oh man, I was listening to music today, and I looked up, and all the kids were like ":O" and staring at the teacher, so I took off my music to see what was going on...
<Disciple> So I took off the headphones
<Disciple> And The teacher was screaming
<Disciple> "PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH! PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH!"
<Disciple> "GIVE IT TO HIM NOW! GIVE IT TO HIM NOW!"
<[Striker]> O_o
<Elyssa> Oo;
<K-S> :O
<Ness|Scripting> :O
<Velcant> ...o_O
<Disciple> And so I was like "What the hell's going on?"
<Disciple> And I looked over
<Disciple> and she was screaming on the phone.
<Disciple> And I just started cracking up
<Disciple> But then I found out that it was really sad and it was her son dying and someone had to give him his injection :(
<Disciple> But before I heard that, it was the funniest thing ever.
<[Striker]> ...well, damn,
<Disciple> (He is safe now)

#139480 +(280)- [X]

<AndyPunk> what is with all the publicity with people who have lost limbs in the war
<AndyPunk> wasn't the only reason we went into iraq was to dis-arm them?

#147029 +(505)- [X]

<TriviaBot>  BIG.1372. Norse mythology: What killed Baldur ?
<TriviaBot>  1st Hint: *********   Question Value : 3 Points
<Darric> his gate
<kutuzov> a gate
<sheoul> lol
<Darric> lolol
<sheoul> NERDS!

#167825 +(452)- [X]

* ol has joined #mapcore
<Flashdevil> I will rub my sperm in so many places that they won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror without getting pregnant.
<ol> um... did i come in at a bad time?

#221321 +(576)- [X]

<kaleido:#cisco> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<Blaxthos> HEY I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE
<kaleido> classic moment
<Blaxthos> hahahaha
<kaleido> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<kaleido> 20 cubes all shouting out, "HEY EVERYBOSY, IM LOOKING AT GAY           PORN!"
<kaleido> followed by 20 guys all in my cube ready to beat me

#307172 +(536)- [X]

<Jaidev> If you want to know what I think about bottled water, what does 'Evian' spell backwards?

#370933 +(1319)- [X]

<GinjaNinja> Your momma is so fat, she gets -8 to her AC.

#374691 +(369)- [X]

<ashp> cogito ergo sum
<Phallus> libido ergo sum
<Phallus> i'm horny therefore i am

#395849 +(188)- [X]

freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang?
SmarterChild: Very long.
freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.

#396517 +(523)- [X]

<Cereal_Killer> Dude you may have been pissed, buy thats no reason to knock your sister up.
<Joeytgstk> You're just jealous because you're an only child

#448982 +(684)- [X]

CwD | Asbestos: calculus is
CwD | Asbestos: triangle over triangle is equal to square diveded by - y x
CwD | Asbestos: what is z
CwD | Asbestos: youre like
CwD | Asbestos: wtf
CwD | Asbestos: there is no z
CwD | Asbestos: and they say
CwD | Asbestos: wtf is z n00b
CwD | Asbestos: and while youre sitting there trying to think
CwD | Asbestos: they say
CwD | Asbestos: times up
CwD | Asbestos: youve just been pwnd
CwD | Asbestos: and youre like wtf h4x0rs
CwD | Asbestos: thats calculus

#457985 +(549)- [X]

* Mordeth plans a back packing holiday to bulgaria
<Mordeth> is cannabis legal in your country?
<Hunchback> nope
<Mordeth> balls!
<Mordeth> is it widely available?
<Hunchback> yes
<Mordeth> great
<Mordeth> see you next thursday

#464258 +(1309)- [X]

<vapoR> lately my mother has been complaining about how much time the dad has been spending in the computer room..
<vapoR> she comes up to me and goes "For christmas, I want you to get your father a gift that will get him out of that stupid computer room!"
<vapoR> so i went out and purchased him a wireless router :p

#672549 +(642)- [X]

<MLu> how clever of me
<MLu> to go out drinking today
<MLu> i work tomorrow
<MLu> how's that for a drunken haiku

#735763 +(93)- [X]

<Dark_Fox> Macs are the diet vanilla coke of computers

#813756 +(369)- [X]

<M1k3> hey, the girlscouts would need some parent to look after them, are you in?
<Bo13> wait 1 quick question, does this increase my chanses to get laid??
<M1k3> but they are like 12 years old!!!
<Bo13> so that's yes?

#948884 +(1836)- [X]

<&Siyo> i successfully stopped a print job once
<&Siyo> AM I GOD?

0.0481 20983 quotes approved; 1074 quotes pending
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