#343 +(490)- [X]
(odd42) hey guys: i'm d/l-ing a huge file on a 56k modem but i have an Athlon and GeForce, so do you think i could play q3 at the same time?
#694 +(316)- [X]
<sparc5> how does a guy become a porn star?
<sparc5> that's what I wana find out
<Rhelic> sparc5: have at least 8inches and 4inches girth
<Rhelic> sparc5: and you usually pay them to be in the first few
<eggo> or family business
<sparc5> Rehlic: pay???
<thinkmad> may you all catch this horrible disease and suffer
<Rhelic> sparc5: its easy to find any guy to fuk some hot pron star
#1032 +(439)- [X]
(Curb) don't worry no trees were harmed in the search for my glasses, toes were stubbed and lives were lost...but all tress are fine
#1661 +(443)- [X]
<Xerox> STOP CONTROLLING MY MIND!
<DigiGnome> If I did that, you'd fall into a lifelss heap by your computer, and only be found days later when the neighbours get suspicious about the change of smell coming from your room.
#4818 +(166)- [X]
<vvortex3> hey, the isp i work for, cwnet has a legal copy of microsoft visual studio, but we cant find the cd, can someone please email me deruntime.dll so i can fix a bug in one of our machines?
<jim4> vv: no
<Cyrix> get a new cd
<Cyrix> or go to #mypersonalfileserver
*** vvortex3 (firstname.lastname@example.org) has left #C++
<snibril> we don't support warez, and neither incomptent isps
*** vvortex3 (email@example.com) has joined #c++
<Cyrix> vvortex3 on @#mypersonalfileserver
#6054 +(417)- [X]
<kingmob> someone broke into our apartment once
<kingmob> he didn't take anything
<kingmob> he left a ten dollar bill
<Guyver3> did he leave money?
<kingmob> i am *so* not shitting
<kingmob> that ruined my whole week
<kingmob> plus, my dipshit roommate spent the ten bucks
#6653 +(507)- [X]
<LR|Midnight> this ice cream owns
<[ice]> this Midnight cream 0wns
#7391 +(508)- [X]
<Kaff> the biker from the Village People died.
<Kaff> he died of lung cancer.
<Kaff> which just proves that getting a coq up the date will kill you in mysterious ways.
<Dane> kaff: no. you just misunderstood when the report said that he'd had too many fags.
#8205 +(204)- [X]
<vas-assignment> i dare anyone to watch the excorcist and ay midnight and take a walk around the blok
<KINGofEXTREME> its not even scary man
<vas-assignment> everyone tells me its scary
<KINGofEXTREME> the first hour is arabs digging in a desert
<KINGofEXTREME> that shit scared teh fuck out of me
#11506 +(234)- [X]
* Teufel is a moron
<_wEaSeL_> well said
<Teufel> I tore up my room looking for the receipt for my 'broken speakers' to return them; when all I had to do is plug them in
#13570 +(819)- [X]
* oWildKard waters the o at the beginning of his name... maybe in time it will grow to a beautiful @
#14904 +(123)- [X]
<drunker> whats's the microsoft.com site
#16062 +(110)- [X]
<Robzilla> yeah, you know merc, you should share your gf
<Robzilla> givin im sharin my winxp :)
#17950 +(148)- [X]
<billf> if someone tried to pull a "surprise" prostate exam on me, I'd get up and leave
#21965 +(247)- [X]
<Midvalley> Kinjin-Zero: mod your rio to add a wireless nic
<Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): I could... using wi-fi, nice 54mbit connection
<Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): but, it'd be no use with it in the car, and me upstairs
<Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): easier to just plug it in on my desk
<Midvalley> technology isn't about making our lives "easier"
<Midvalley> it's about bragging rights
#22535 +(755)- [X]
<CrdStang> Oh dear
<CrdStang> Oh fuck dear no
<CrdStang> My stupid ass dad just drove the ride-on lawn mower here from his place 3/4 of a mile away
#25190 +(163)- [X]
<Petersen> trying to fit in irc, social life and work
<Petersen> no time for sleep
<Z59B> irc, IS social life? isnt it?
#27485 +(79)- [X]
<SickRick> anyone know why linuxvideo.org is down? was it shut down?
<ian_> Because "linux" and "video" are mutually exclusive
#32508 +(474)- [X]
<Uncle_Istavan> I had some friends once but they keep leaving me
#34025 +(311)- [X]
<rizen> accept cock
<rizen> accept, cock
#34040 +(196)- [X]
<rizen> I can put my penis in my belly button.
<rizen> Envy me.
#34454 +(132)- [X]
gadget: my god.
gadget: i would give several left nuts to have a store like that.
#36714 +(337)- [X]
<krazegurl> i smell like cock
<krazegurl> i didnt wash my face well enough or it went up my nose
#37988 +(572)- [X]
*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@184.108.40.206) has joined #photography
<BlackNet21> anyone here wanna help me with a photo?
<pd_corax> A what?
<danno> wtf is a photo
*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@220.127.116.11) has left #photography
<danno> sheesh, it takes all kinds...
#43343 +(224)- [X]
<@kmad> yah im switching majors
<@mr420> so whats your new major
<@mr420> from what
<@kmad> so boring and stupid
<@ChAmP> english is boringer
#46424 +(265)- [X]
<ef~ian_> I saw a hot chick working at Radio Shack once. I think it was a mistake.
#46803 +(240)- [X]
(sh) i leave for two minutes and you guys are estimating the ejaculatory capacity of young boy's digestive systems
#48167 +(234)- [X]
<@unionguy> let me tell you what i did with my saxaphone
<souletr> please don't start this off with one time at bandcamp...
#49505 +(398)- [X]
<sieco> i still use it to play duck hunt
<ion> my nintendo went out the window after that last time I failed to beat ganon and bring home the tri-force
<ion> my girlfriend was like "you fucking sissy. if you don't bring me home the tri-force I'm going out with Bobby next door"
<ion> I'm like "fuck you bitch!" and I flung the nintendo at her
#53960 +(236)- [X]
<bb-w3rk> If Received By: Pay this Amount:
<bb-w3rk> 12/20/02 $25,692.40
<bb-w3rk> 12/30/02 $25,712.75
<bb-w3rk> 01/09/03 $25,733.09
<ESD-Wyrk> wtf is that
<bb-w3rk> damn tab at the liquor store
#81138 +(320)- [X]
<@Lurker> live pics from baghdad on cnn
<@Lurker> nothing happening
<schitzo> nope nothing going on
<@Lurker> We should just go to an iraqi irc channel and when they ping out the war is on
#93534 +(639)- [X]
<rockape> "i take my coffee black..... like my men"
<Khel> do you take your coffee in your ass too?
#102274 +(380)- [X]
<adorecm> i just had to type out my proposal for english class.
<whitcomb> "Dear Gay English teacher: I will marry you for an A. Sincerely, Eric Metz."
<adorecm> not a proposal like that
#105855 +(494)- [X]
<Foobar> this guy is like weapons-grade stupid
#117299 +(400)- [X]
<poppycat> well..I dont have a vibrator any more but yes...he was called mister buzzy and he used to squirm and vibrate across the floor at great speed
<kirsy> you let your vibrator play on the floor?
<poppycat> yes..I didnt get much out of using it so I decided to let it amuse me by racing it
<Yasui> "GO MR BUZZY! beat that other vibrator! you can do it!"
#120519 +(529)- [X]
<confuted> they said "non-toxic" we figured that meant "safe to drink"
#126424 +(584)- [X]
<Jolene> so, when they landed on the moon, why cant u see the stars in the pictures they took?
<chippy> it was daytime
#128577 +(1258)- [X]
<Sumezworking> I hate people who let their kids run around naked on the beach..
<Squinky> I know, it's hard to hide an erection in swimming trunks
#170682 +(83)- [X]
* stigma fingers into dashutri's fluff very slowly, stealing the warmth away
* Dashutri blinks, and turns to ice.
<Dashutri> You STOLE my warmth. What did you expect?
#176261 +(955)- [X]
<crfh_> I just witnessed the weirdest threesome ever
<Strangeone> Larry, Moe and Curly?
<Reltzik-CodingForDearLife> .... Ooo..... kay....
<crfh_> My cat, another cat, and a POSSUM
#263079 +(695)- [X]
<nutkase> i need to schedule an eye exam
<nutkase> with a different doctor who wont cuss me out and tell me i need ritalin
<hateful> lol, did you jump when he was putting in the drops?
<nutkase> but when he was asking me which one was better number 1 or number 2 i was like how come there numbered and i only get 2 options
<nutkase> and then he was telling me to read the lines, and he had the radio on in the background and i was asking him to turn it up cause i liked that song
<nutkase> finally he said god damn it can you pay attention so we can get this over with and i responded with sorry i wasnt paying attention
<nutkase> and he proceeded to tell me i needed ritalin
#294940 +(2197)- [X]
amandahirst2007 : why is it that when you ship something by car it's called shipment and when it's shipped by boat it's called cargo
Vincent_Valentine9 : Cargo is simply a term to describe something held on a ship, plane, truck or train. It has nothing to do with what the cargo is actually used for. The "Shipment" is an item being moved, it got it's name because back in the day, before cars, ships and boats down rivers and oceans were the main form of travel.
Vincent_Valentine9 : When Planes, trains and automobiles began to be used, the term simply carried over.
amandahirst2007 : ur stupid. asl?
Vincent_Valentine9 : ..........
#348507 +(929)- [X]
<Moose> Is a girl I've been shagging for a few months but not really 'going out with', as my heart lies elsewhere.
<Moose> Anyway, cut a long story short, she's moving up to Glasgow in 2 weeks, and as a going away gift for her, my mates between them have offered me £90 if I can film myself performing a 'Spiderman' on her.
<Moose> FYI A 'Spiderman' is the art of pulling out just before the vinegar strokes, chucking your fat into your hand, then flinging it in the girls face whilst triumphantly shouting "Go web go!!"
#395868 +(489)- [X]
<Navi> My mother (to brother): "If get fat enough, you can't see your weenee."
<Navi> My brother (age 8): "BUT I CAN MAKE IT BIG!"
<Navi> I lost all hope, right there.
#433014 +(1272)- [X]
<HouseCookie> What the hell is kwanzaa?
<Tyler> File-sharing for African-Americans.
#665751 +(278)- [X]
<addeman> the difference between me and a soccer player is that i score then shoot
#700491 +(427)- [X]
Skuddward: i love wal-mart's footwear department
teddy: "Flip Flops, Buy 2 get 1 free!"
#849884 +(853)- [X]
< FurnaceBoy> this is a waste of time
< FurnaceBoy> all he has to do is type what we told him
< Tonren> bluecake: When you run a command in a Linux terminal, it searches your path for the command. type "echo $PATH" to see where Linux will look for commands you type.
< FurnaceBoy> stop trying to educate, Tonren. this is irc.
< FurnaceBoy> we yell at people
#915703 +(2159)- [X]
<Dakara> what's the name of that disease when you can't stop masturbating?
<amaury> the Y chromosome
#921418 +(764)- [X]
<+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow...
<+Merrick> I hate my fucking job
<+Merrick> I HATE IT
<+FDR> are you a priest?
<+Merrick> No an altar boy