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#171 +(992)- [X]

[+Vile] (smcn): just because you dress like them doesnt mean you are
[!smcn] m/sg Vile would you like to touch my breasts
[!smcn] oops

#2499 +(1104)- [X]

<Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
<amsea_> 17:06
<Fly_kEaT> am or pm?

#3385 +(156)- [X]

<crums|zzz> i love my bed
<crums|zzz> still need to christen it...grrr

#4200 +(194)- [X]

*** Quits: Disco[d2] (k-lined: u stole my girlfriend! (edison))

#4204 +(78)- [X]

<kr0ss> people who get offended by '666' can suck my 6.66 inch cock

#6256 +(74)- [X]

<HexRei> but i have had two shits and they frickin decimated me

#6905 +(195)- [X]

<sbp> oh, I just remembered something
<Morbus> no, i already dropped your underwear in the mail.

#6942 +(106)- [X]

<Dominitus> I meant what i said, you need a diagram giving you the proper strategy
<Mr_Fish> ON HOW TO MASTURBATE/
<Mr_Fish> ...
<[SA]mr_box> yes
<[SA]mr_box> lol
<Mr_Fish> i've already looked for instructions on the net.

#7179 +(294)- [X]

<morientes> some fucker just played a trick on me.. i was sitting in the couch.. well all of a sudden my jocks feel like their going up my ass crack... i try to pull out the wedge.. most pain i've ever felt... someone put chewy in my jocks and my ass hairs are all stuck together.. stuck to my jocks.. i dont fucking believe this shit

#7837 +(155)- [X]

<J-Rock> Thought For The Day: rm -rf customers.
<Zulu> possibilities.
<rob`> bitchslap-over-IP.  Yes.

#8588 +(357)- [X]

<baguette> and it's a pain in the ass
<baguette> guys, that is
<waffles> You're probably doing it wrong then....

#16778 +(120)- [X]

<uno> you don't see us tossing around phrases like "throbbing cock" do you?

#17335 +(207)- [X]

<Balatro> Electroly:  It died on me once and wouldn't restart.  I had to ps -aux or whatever the fuck it is and kill the process.  Then it started fine.
<Electroly> ah, nothing good old `ps aux | grep Proteus | awk '{print $2 }' | xargs kill -9` won't fix.
<Electroly> much better, that worked.
* Gandalf stares at Electroly
<Gandalf> And I thought I was a Unix dork.
<Balatro> Yeah, it was so much less effort to do that then to type a command, quickly see the process and kill it by PID :)
<Electroly> you are a unix dork
<Electroly> Balatro: there were like 10 Proteus processes, dude.
<Balatro> Funny, I had 1 ;)
<Electroly> dunno where these all came from, but i killed them all.
<Electroly> now all is well
<Gandalf> Electroly: I understand ps, grep, and xargs. Explain how that awk thinger works, though? :)
<Electroly> Gandalf: awk is pretty simple.  it treats the stdin as a bunch of columns
<Electroly> and lets you reformat the output.  { print $n } is typical, where n is the column number to print out.
<kurros> AWK AWK MOTHER FUCKER
<Electroly> it uses whitespace as the column delimiter by default, but you can change that by some argument to it
<Gandalf> ah, and in ps aux the PID is the second column, thus $2, right?
<Electroly> yup
<Electroly> you can do other stuff with awk, like awk '{ print "Whee!  The PID for " $10 " is " $2 "!" }'
<Balatro> It makes me hot when you talk unix.
<Electroly> rm -rf /home/Balatro
<Balatro> That's /homo/Balatro, honey :)

#24166 +(319)- [X]

<x182ways> 4*7= 28, 28+2=20 dumbass

#25502 +(362)- [X]

<dinarchvs> my friend sobel just had a great idea
<dinarchvs> fuck this 3d-accelerating game video hardware
<dinarchvs> we need smut-specific hardware
<dalias> ?
<dinarchvs> like an on the fly compression/decompression chip that specializes in compressing fleshtones in images to save bandwidth
<dalias> hahaha
<dalias> dude, go get some
<dinarchvs> or hardware-based algorithms to help render smut faster
<dinarchvs> like a nipple algorithm to accelerate nipple drawing
<dalias> you're developing a pr0n obsession
<dinarchvs> a special dick rendering chip
<dinarchvs> that can draw over 2000 dicks/second
<auspex_> there is pr0n specific hardware... gigabit ethernet

#29529 +(498)- [X]

<Drizuid> what operating system does linux run on?

#33579 +(45)- [X]

<Tirol> I wish could type as fast as I could write.
<Tirol> Shit...
<Tirol> The other way.

#36636 +(166)- [X]

<Casper> Thursday I think I may steal the camaro and go get my haircut.
<Phucker> Is it a mullet?
<Casper> My brother's camaro is awesome.
<Phucker> For a second there I thought 'camaro' said 'mullet'
<Phucker> I don't think the two terms can be seperated

#37390 +(237)- [X]

<Cassara> Linux is like anal sex. It hurts quite a bit at first but then you really like it. And while you stick with it, theres still some aches and pains afterwards.

#39463 +(425)- [X]

<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> but your fucking pathetic 14 yr. old mine doesn't realize that does it?
<Accident> :|
<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> mind*
<Accident> at lead i can spell

#42549 +(573)- [X]

Jesus: my girl mastrabates more then i do
Finque: seeing as how your girl is your hand, i'd like to hear you explain that one

#47243 +(326)- [X]

<energizer> how should i tell her?
<flawed> just draw a little stick figure in photoshop then some barb wire then another stick figure on the other side of the wire, then put arrows pointing at each, one with "brian" and the other with "shannon"
<flawed> doesn't have to be barb wire either, it can be a dragon.. or a moat

#56170 +(30)- [X]

TaniquaLoL: i stole my moms stash and sold it to her friend hahaha
EyezBloodshot: lmao
TaniquaLoL: shes all bitchy now though

#58520 +(200)- [X]

* Mr`Anders is now known as MrAndersn
<TreOptik> mrandersn sounds like a pedophile biochemestry teacher
***later
<_spirit_> hmm mr anderson... that reminds me of highschool
<TreOptik> i said something like that too ..

#76352 +(27)- [X]

<merci`> trance would sound ok intermixed with some metal

#81439 +(215)- [X]

<DooD> All of the Kmart's in iraq will be closed, and reopen as Targets in the next two weeks...

#81852 +(1585)- [X]

<StuckMojo>    o     \o    \o/   \o    o    <o     <o>    o>    o
<StuckMojo>   .|.     |.    |     /    X     \      |    <|    <|>
<StuckMojo>   / \     >\   /<     >\  /<     >\    /<     >\   /<

#81865 +(57)- [X]

<tbsp> u can run fdisk under windows? eewww
<tbsp> that just seems wrong...like beastiality

#81918 +(217)- [X]

(Mr_Mofo) Corn Bread is teaching me flash, and he says:
(Mr_Mofo) <cornbread> Have you got any cloves of garlic lying around in your house? If you don't, use an onion for this next step.
(burkey) Whats wrong with that? Garlic is an essential part of Flash.
(burkey) Onion gives inferior results.
(cornbread) See? burkey knows =/
(burkey) If you don't know that, I'm gueesin you must be a n00b of some sorts. Your not a n00b, are you? o_O
&#8226; Suave sighs, and curses himself after wasting money on those 3 bags of onions.
(Burning) i use tabasco sauce instead
(bigwurm) cornbread: you also need some diced roma tomatoes and mushrooms. you must have mushrooms
(cornbread) Nah, just using the basic method for now.

#84206 +(248)- [X]

<Tarkaan> I distonctly remember saying "extra hot"
<Tarkaan> damn chinese
<living2di> distonctly?
<Tarkaan> you are correct, that was a very ironic typo
<dabba> damn mongorians

#84325 +(159)- [X]

<loquacious> my sleeping pattern is stochastic, okay? go masticate some waboflex!

#105339 +(16)- [X]

[nosebleed] the only good thing about t.a.t.u. are that theyre lesbians

#120993 +(659)- [X]

<Head> if I download porn off of Kazaa
<Head> you think the RIAA can find me?
<dsbnh> yeah the RECORDING industry has huge ties for porn
<[GSF]Nitro> Head- you will be sued by Ron Jeremy
<[GSF]Nitro> actually, since his penis is a legal entity and franchise, it will be the wang that sues you
<Head> lol
<dsbnh> its actually declared a country
<dsbnh> you can recieve asylum by hiding under it
<dsbnh> it was recognized as a hero when it saved 3 children from drowning
<Head> lol
<Panz> and then cummed in there faces
<dsbnh> ....
<Panz> *Splat*
<Panz> ....
<dsbnh> why must you turn a story of heroism into a sick twisted pedophile affair

#150583 +(930)- [X]

<EK> Quentin Tarinto on the use of CGI in movies "'You know, my guys are all real. There's no computer fucking around. I'm sick to death of all that shit. This is old school with fucking cameras. If i'd wanted all that computer game bullshit, I'd have gone home and stuck my dick in my Nintendo."
<Nikaji> o_O
<Chaosmeika> nintendo has a penis port?
<EK> I wish.

#182125 +(748)- [X]

<joshua_> C ECE DBRY AOT URP YDAY TCBE RU YRPYGP.!
<joshua_> BRYDCBI CO ,RPYDF RU YDAY TCBE UR YRPYGP.!
<joshua_> AaAAAAAAAAAAAAAACC.............................!
<joshua_> AND FUCK YOU TOO MR. DVORAK

#185398 +(2587)- [X]

Mario has joined #teens
<Mario> Hi r there ne hot gurls in here
<Coolguy3432> Sorry Mario, but the Princess is in another chatroom

#192153 +(493)- [X]

<Adora> you know what I just realized boobs are really good for?
<Enigma> holding stuff up?
<Adora> they're PERFECT for cleaning fingerprints off cds
<Adora> all soft and squishy
<Enigma> really? who knew
<Adora> no hard edges
<Enigma> my next guess was going to be luring sexually deprived teenaged geeks into helping you with your computer problems

#343917 +(458)- [X]

<RenegadeC> I have to talk to that girl who came over to my house friday night
<RenegadeC> because she left her bracelet here
<CardO> was she hot?
<RenegadeC> yes
<RPG> RenegadeC: sheep don't have bracelets; they have collars.

#348078 +(170)- [X]

<toqer> hey germ, I think you would like my wifes friend michelle
<Germ> does she like sex
<toqer> next time you're out here, we need too hook you two up
<Germ> No thanks i dont like being "hooked up"
<toqer> she like sex, weed, and eating
<Germ> eh
<Germ> wait how much eating?

#361547 +(2504)- [X]

<Beerman> I'm the top of the nick list
<Beerman> therefore I am the tallest
<Outsyder> i am in the middle of the nick list
<Outsyder> therefore i am the belly
<Beerman> does that make Sethur the naughty bits?
<Sethur> Hmmmm.
* Sethur is now known as Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr
<Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr> That's better.
<Beerman> you're still at the "naughty bits" area of the nick list
<Sethurrrrrrrrrrrr> Yes. That's why I made my nick longer

#361578 +(3016)- [X]

<Slave>So good party round mine, wasn't it Duncan
<Player45> Hell yeh!
<Johanna>oh really?
<Player45>Yeh we all got completely fucked up, except the one problem
<Slave>Problem?
<Player45>Yeh, your sister and her electric toothbrush, hell she must have kept me up half the night using that thing, her teeth must be super clean
<Slave>Electric toothbrush? She doesn't have one, no one in my family has one
<Johanna>hmm..
<Slave>OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A FUCKING MOPED!

#389811 +(956)- [X]

<BS>I walk into school today and the girl that sits beside me tells me that she lost 10 pounds from laughing at me.

#414581 +(1268)- [X]

<Alluvium> They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows. :p

#417265 +(313)- [X]

<Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.

#626884 +(748)- [X]

Frencheneesz: what if there was a super hero who had the power to transfer his own boredom to his enemies?
SombrousKnight: how'd he get these powers? gamma radiation while waiting in line at the DMV?

#676812 +(608)- [X]

<mETRo> you shoulda taken it back to walmart lol
<mETRo> they take anything back
<zx2ms> dude serisouly I was read to just throw it away and buy a new one
<zx2ms> instead of go through the hassle
<mETRo> you could bring in a box of used rubbers there
<mETRo> and theyd be like "was there anything wrong with them?"
<[xENo]> just set the kid on the counter
<zx2ms> lol

#715642 +(641)- [X]

<pmw> According to Wikipedia, "cum swallowing" is an "extreme" sexual act.
<Supernaut> best. quote. evar
<sxs> probably
<tsowell> pmw: it doesn't feel very extreme when you're doing it, does it?
<pmw> At least not after a few times.
<Supernaut> i stand corrected
<Supernaut> that exchange is the best

#743281 +(139)- [X]

< RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an answer on my second and last question
< nazgjunk> RedTee, you ask a question about DOS'ing with ping, without knowing what ping is
< RedTee> its not what im asking FFS
< RedTee> DO I need dos to preform a dos attack!?!?!?!?!
< einz> YES, don't you see name?
-!- RedTee [insurgent@HTSUser-4149B6F9.adsl.wanadoo.nl] has quit [Quit: alright THANKS FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

#781256 +(882)- [X]

<monkeytwizzler> i just tried plugging a serial->ps2 into a ps2->usb1 in order to plug a usb mouse into a laptop with a serial port
<monkeytwizzler> that was like 11 years of technology in one plugin

#954582 +(1321)- [X]

<G-ZeuZ> When two people kiss, they create a tube with an asshole at each end.
<wufei> put that in your online dating profile
<wufei> you'll stand out

0.0661 21090 quotes approved; 1320 quotes pending
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