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#371 +(541)- [X]

<Acrimon> Does anyone know where to get a GOOD xemacs configuration file?
<NeepNeep> owh man.. emacs.. I just had dinner, please.
<Acrimon> sorry

#1317 +(280)- [X]

~ BigTongue is talking to a 18 year old portuguese chick.. that means she's either gunna give good head or clean my house nicely

#2895 +(368)- [X]


#3753 +(333)- [X]

<CoMBo> how do you learn new words and puts it in your everyday talking?

#4602 +(3380)- [X]

<kolby> you still in english?

#7610 +(215)- [X]

<shadok> bo gritz shot himself and only inflicted a flesh wound
<shadok> the quality of american fascism has declined notably in recent times
<shadok> i blame flouride

#14528 +(260)- [X]

<AutistiCat> I'm forgetful.
<AutistiCat> Yet I can remember 50 digits of pi...
<Arcman> That's why, see.  That took up all your brain space.

#15046 +(170)- [X]

<Gazhag> black ice defender is a good defender program, much better than firewall.
<Dzarg> lol :)))
<Dzarg> I could almost make that my quit message.
<Gazhag> oh, what's so funny in that? It's better than firewall, isn't it?

#23231 +(139)- [X]

[Belisaurus] you never know what your going to get like , A sexy wooomaaan or a boated guy with a deformed willy and a buckshot round in whats left of his head
[Belisaurus] its like playing russian rullette with your erection

#24889 +(1295)- [X]

<cevik> I've certainly met quite a few more violent christians ("lets go kill us some fags") than violent gays ("lets go break into someones house and decorate it!").

#26494 +(514)- [X]

<cruisinxx7> I'll be busy right after school because I have a track meet
<Akira> oh
<Akira> can I watch your meat?
<cruisinxx7> ...
<cruisinxx7> I'd rather you watch the race instead

#27168 +(459)- [X]

* PERL_ZEALOT has been kicked by PERL_ZEALOT (cock in mouth)
* PERL_ZEALOT (~perlzeal@d-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx.dynamic.umr.edu) has joined #xxxxxxxx
* ChanServ sets mode +o PERL_ZEALOT
<PERL_ZEALOT> Stupid auto-complete

#31329 +(301)- [X]

<PinkRubberBall> After much tear and blood I finally got windows to accept my cd burner
<Uhclem> Sure it accepts it, but does it LOVE it

#33773 +(946)- [X]

*** ^TheTruth^ has joined #catholic
<Devilution> What's the truth doing in a Catholic chatroom?

#36760 +(252)- [X]

<BenZor> ASIO hired my cat to spy on me, it goes in. it goes out now it sits here watching me, im sure they bugged it and they call it out every so often to change tapes :/

#37109 +(55)- [X]

* time stamps have been retained to aid in the understanding and comedy of the quote...

[18:23:03] *** NoneX (Harry@ has joined channel #php
[18:23:05] <greg_oc> Channel Warning: NoneX detected in #kiddiesex
[18:23:10] *** NoneX has left #php

#40511 +(190)- [X]

<rigel> maybe a few centuries from now, year 2k would be remembered solely for the goatse.cx homepage.
<rigel> "the dark rectum dilation century"
<avoozl> rofl
<avoozl> it'll probably be the only thing that survives the nuclear winter

#40803 +(238)- [X]

Dirt Devil351: i found this chic
Dirt Devil351: and she likes porn
Dirt Devil351: alot
ianepson: uh huh
Dirt Devil351: shes horny
Dirt Devil351: i tell ya
Dirt Devil351: dude
Dirt Devil351: she was lookin at a porn site
ianepson: did she ask ur credit card number and offer a three day trial too?

#41139 +(325)- [X]

<Fang> 2002 will suck.
<Fang> if the way i entered it is any indication.
<joshie> Fang: you entered it sucking?

#42949 +(371)- [X]

<static> there's one of those funny looking airconditioning fan thingies out side the mall nearby.  it blows air straight up out of the sidewalk.  I keep looking at it as I walk by and wondering "if I stand on it,  will it push me up to the second level of the mall?"
<static> I think I play too many video games.
<FJ> test it
<FJ> throw a cat into the stream
<FJ> at the vry least, you'll be laughing your butt off

#43553 +(823)- [X]

<Psy> how many MB in a Gig again?
<seafoodgod> 1024
<bobAkirafett> yea
<Psy> jesus wept
<[Bryan]> seafoodgod: But it's kind of funny because some Hard Drive manufacturers would say that 1 gigabyte would equal 1000 megabytes of data instead of 1024.
<seafoodgod> well, when you install the supposedly 80gb drive and it comes up 74.6gb, you know they're fucking morons
<[Bryan]> seafoodgod:  zactly my point.
<seafoodgod> and lying bastards.  but they cover their asses quite well:  "up to 80gb"  whatever the fuck that means
<[Bryan]> seafoodgod: Sure some of that goes to the partion table and indexes and all that fun stuff.. but..err....
<seafoodgod> i just want to know where the other 5.4gb went.  what?  did it go to a fucking party while i was formatting?  did it go out to play golf and lose it's keys in a hazzard and have to spend the night over at a friend's drive?
<bobAkirafett> lol
<seafoodgod> that bastard 5.4 gig never cleans up after itself, either.  never mows the grass or does the dishes or takes out the fucking trash
<seafoodgod> maybe i'm better off without it.  YOU HEAR ME 5.4 GB!!!!   I DON'T NEED YOU!!!!

#47750 +(321)- [X]

tchristney: Cheating is like masturbation. Feels good while you're doing it but once you're finished it only emphasizes how empty and shallow your life really is.

#51597 +(186)- [X]

<b1u3^t3rr0r> bash.org; yet more proof there are people more fucked up than me.

#54087 +(266)- [X]

<Socrates> why do i get .06 kbps from kazaa....
<Socrates> thats 60 bits.. i can almost type that fast

#55876 +(621)- [X]

* saxxonpike has joined #wtf
<gt64> i wanna suck some DICK
<saxxonpike> wow i like this channel already

#60105 +(327)- [X]

[LoKiX] jesus IIS takes FOREVER to install
vip_ib What is Jesus II? is it a roleplayin game?
vip_ib FPS?
<azzkicker> lmao

#62145 +(266)- [X]

[ @Treach ] can you hump in the sims online
[ @qoncept ] Treach, i think so but i dont know how. figures.
[ @TribalJedi ] you need the love bed i think
[ @qoncept ] thats stupid why cant you just do it out by the dumpster like in real life

#70774 +(53)- [X]

<[MAAO]ricequeen> HEY GUYS
<[MAAO]ricequeen> SHOULD IS AY YES
<[SA]Portable591> do it
<[SA]diekthx> IT"S A DUDE DUDE
<[sa]unsound> what sort of fuqn question is that
<[sa]-piston> SHE HAS A PENIS
<[SA]TheFlyingTortillaMan> PIX PLZ
<[SA]eloH> traceroute ur sperm 2 her face
<[sa]unsound> of course the answer is LOL K, U GO FIST
<[SA]rizzou> fist? or first?
<[sa]unsound> fist
<[sa]-piston> FIST

#80868 +(121)- [X]

<OZ-Cpt-Slade|collegeboy> broadband is sweet, its like sex just faster

#81961 +(209)- [X]

<Pharsalus> It would really suck if you were a siamese twin -- your other half was gay, and you were not...and you shared the same ass..
* Pharsalus ponders

#105772 +(297)- [X]

* Wes *rimjob*
(Wes): er
* Wes *rimshot*

#106304 +(246)- [X]

<TriviaBot> HINT : @@@@@@@
<moodlet> shitty taste in music

#112373 +(822)- [X]

<railor> then there comes this really hot nurse chick and i like get an instant hard-on
<railor> she asks me if i'm ok and leaves. i tell to myself "what a fine piece of ass!" so i grab my dick and start whacking off like mad
<HaiFlick> so you've started jerking off to that nurse after you had been drunk like hell and woke up in the hospital?
<railor> yeah, but then suddenly a woman next to me started crying really loud. i couldn't see her due to the curtain though
<HaiFlick> lol
<railor> turns out it was my wife

#136899 +(530)- [X]

<Ross> What are they naming the bastard child?
<Tiffany> she wants to call the baby Rochel if it's a girl
<Ross> hooker name
<Tiffany> and they will probably name it Vampire Hunter D if it's a boy
<Ross> I'd name my kid something totally badass, regardless of the sex
<Ross> Like
<Ross> Tyranocore
<Ross> Or Vader

#147732 +(853)- [X]

<Nekroe> when any of yous were at high school, did any idiots ever knee you in the arse, and go: 'YOUVE JUST BEEN BOOFED UP THE ARSE BY AN ELEPHANT!'?
<than> when I was at high school, some elephants came up behind me and stuck their dicks in my ass and said "YOU'VE JUST BEEN KNEE'D IN THE ARSE BY A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!"
<Nekroe> mmm. clever
<than> I didn't think it was clever. I thought it was a bit juvenile. Those elephants should have known better

#167731 +(905)- [X]

TrivBaby: QUESTION:  1992 - what did the church of england allow women to become?
catman1229: men
destinatas: priests
destinatas: clergy
ZaDaRoN: members
LmRiVaRaT: sluts
QuarkSoupXYZ: pregnanat
LmRiVaRaT: bitches
destinatas: queens
LmRiVaRaT: hoes
ZaDaRoN: divorced
LmRiVaRaT: whores
dbcpool: voters

#222662 +(448)- [X]

<RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only fucking yourself
<Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires.

#256557 +(446)- [X]

<MetaBean> my wifes boobies will be huge soon
<Nobara> ???
<Nobara> She is pregnat, or you are rich?

#315336 +(204)- [X]

Dave: I support R. Kelly.  I saw the video, and that bitch wanted it. The theory is, if the girl is walking in the mall without her parents.. like alone or just with friends... then she's ready to get some dick.
Banderon:  Dave, look!  Those 12 year olds don't have a parent with them! Go! Go!

#334887 +(1614)- [X]

atty: my face hurts
Chester: why is that
atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist
atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and took one
atty: so she slapped me
Chester: dumbass

#350385 +(1030)- [X]

<evilkalla> oh man
<evilkalla> that club sandwich has caused some intestinal armaggeddon
<ModernAngel> four horsemeats of the anal apocalypse
<crux> well, there goes my boner

#374734 +(321)- [X]

<Kool-Afk> Man, I had the greatest day at work today
<DigitalGnome> how so?
<Kool-Afk> some guy offered me a joint to clean his gutters
<Air|LordOfNUTs> wtf
<DigitalGnome> sweet, i had a great day too. I offered some low life to clean my gutters for a joint

#400813 +(3769)- [X]

<Shadowless> How can I tell if I'm circumsized or not? From everyone's descriptions, I'm assuming I am not. I think I even recall my father telling me they decided not to have it done to me because of problems that can develop. I'd ask but I'm a little too embarrassed. I'm very private with my body.
<Shadowless> I do have quite a bit of loose skin below the glans, but it's still clearly separated when erect. When I was young though, before I was getting erections, the skin was always bunched up around the glans and I could easily slide it over. I am also extremely sensitive on the under-side of my shaft toward the top -- exactly where the skin is. I get ejaculate by just massaging this.
<Shadowless> My sincere apologies if this was too graphic for anyone.
<Shadowless> I'm tempted to just suck it up and use Google image search to find out.
<Baloogan> dude, WHAT THE FUCK

#434080 +(1548)- [X]

<Rambo> Have you guys heard about the latest pirate film?
<Rambo> It's rated Arrrr
<Nurple> Rambo, please die

#447880 +(808)- [X]

<zerox-> who has paypal
<KermyAWAY> thousands upon thousands of people
<zerox-> ok who has paypal that would be willing to do me a favor
<KermyAWAY> no one
<zerox-> ok let me rephrase it 1 more time
* SNguyen sets mode: +o zerox-
<@zerox-> who wants to do me a favor or else be banned

#598170 +(481)- [X]

<[CJ]> i feel old when i'm reading the centerfold data in playboy and see that the centerfold was born sometime around the year i graduated high school :\
<Boyzoid> heh
<Boyzoid> old, or dirty
<Boyzoid> ?
<[CJ]> both
<[CJ]> but dirty i'm ok with

#636171 +(175)- [X]

<Mik0r> I wish they made cars that run on methane cause I sure produce a lot of it
<gerbil> i wish they made cars that run on methadone
<gerbil> cuz id siphon everyones fuel

#679080 +(1783)- [X]

<Ulm> Sigh. I've lost my cow.
<Ulm> I think she's learned to open her gate and she's gone.
<Ulm> Been looking for about 5 hours now.
<dal-X> Need more cowbell.

#875703 +(3877)- [X]

<speedycowboy> What do nine out of ten people enjoy?
<speedycowboy> Gang rape.

#963025 +(82)- [X]

<mogh> I landed an in person interview
<sergey> where at?
<alexander> Hydraulic Press Inc.
<sergey> You've gotta crush the interview to work there
<sergey> very firm handshake is a plus as well
<kurn> dunno if I'd want to work there, I hear it's a high-pressure environment
<kurn> and opportunities for advancement are pretty flat          
<alexander> Getting the wrong manager there can be soul-crushing.     
<helena> but getting the right one can be powerfully uplifting          
<mogh> I think I could squeeze out a living

0.0580 21059 quotes approved; 194 quotes pending
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