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#2456 +(4913)- [X]

<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free

#3565 +(57)- [X]

<DMC[tiky]> talon: and dont get me started on your little "provicative" look in the bottom of the picture
<DMC[tiky]> look like someone put ginger ale in your vagina and you are like 'you silly little kitten'
*** DMC[tiky] was kicked by _Talon_ (God, you are so annoying)
*** DMC[tiky] (hi@pcp800792pcs.nrockv01.md.comcast.net) has joined
<DMC[tiky]> haha
<DMC[tiky]> talon is frustrated with my dmc face

#3810 +(504)- [X]

<Scofco> i used to have wet dreams about carmen sandiego

#7009 +(40)- [X]

<`Kd> in status..that ppl talking in there not knowing we see them or something?

#7259 +(571)- [X]

<Jay> how do u spell nebour
<nc> neighbour
<nc> haha
<Jay> kthx
<Jay> how do u spell ritch
<nc> rich u moron
<DX> rofl
<Jay> well
<DX> u dum cunt jay
<Jay> so what if i cant spell
<Jay> i type it in spell check
<Jay> and im still so wrong it goes what the fuck no suggestions
<nc> MS never reckoned on Jay

#7418 +(406)- [X]

<[KoG]^Deeshay> I'll beat you when I get a modem that isnt controlled by a rat in a wheel

#7839 +(154)- [X]

<rob`> I mean, who would have thought that blood congeals into a pudding? :9

#7848 +(1522)- [X]

Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war! o/`
Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level. %)
Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war!
E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that currently houses my conscious and those physical manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!
%

#7866 +(363)- [X]

<Danzo> damn big txt file
<Danzo> B I G <peaches>
* peaches watches notepad crash
<peaches> should've zipped it up
<Danzo> heh..story of my life =]

#8612 +(115)- [X]

<zealot_> gopher is the protocol of the future

#11624 +(97)- [X]

Solo Herron: they have some pistols with big calibers
Solo Herron: but if you add barrel length and large caliber then you have a bad ass pistol that breaks your wrist
Solo Herron: You would have to do lots of pre-emptive masturbation to get your wrist in shape!

#12379 +(177)- [X]

<[{ug}]> hmm i really should spring clean this pooter. /usr/src is taking up 2.1Gb
<Lithium^> what have you got in there? the sources to your porn collection?

#14217 +(1043)- [X]

<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself

#15188 +(774)- [X]

<rbeattie> If you were MEANT to understand it, we wouldn't have called it 'code'

#21832 +(198)- [X]

<supers> one of the tv guide cross word makers died
<supers> i guess they barried him 6 down and 6 across

#31132 +(173)- [X]

<IlPalazzo> I fucking bought a dreamcast because of Seaman
<Zackary> I fucked a bought Dreamcast full of semen

#32552 +(196)- [X]

[00:55] <enntee> i'm about to go to seven eleven and i'm gonna hit
on the clerk
[00:55] <enntee> even if she looks like ass
[01:00] <enntee> off i go
[01:11] <enntee> damn. she was too ugly.

#36646 +(578)- [X]

<punchcard> you know you're a geek when you read the headline "Bush won't order ports reopened" and think they are talking about a firewall
<punchcard> "By order of the President of the United States of America, -A input -p boats -l -j reject."

#40271 +(410)- [X]

<luva_bd> i want a dick in my pussy
<luva_bd> oh and a puppy

#43132 +(373)- [X]

<Celia> la la la
* Archy` stretches and slowly moves arm around Craig
<Archy`> oops
<Archy`> damn TAB
<Archy`> erm....
<@Azhrarn> HAH

#46517 +(323)- [X]

<+The_Steel> I scored a 96% on the procrastination test
<+The_Steel> I'm not suprised
<+emul8or_> i put off the procrastination test till tomorrow

#49725 +(307)- [X]

<trollusk> lol, theres this girl at my school who is always obsessing about being fat even though she's pretty damn skinny
<trollusk> and one day, she goes up to this buddy of mine
<trollusk> and she's like "pull up your saggy pants"
<trollusk> he was like "i don't like your shirt and you should lose some weight"
<trollusk> she cried for hours

#54914 +(437)- [X]

[Video] I've been watching the warez scene for like two months.
[Video] Nothing is worth DOWNLOADING
[Video] That's sad
[Ouija] i know
[Video] Is that their new anti-piracy technique?
[Video] Release shit no one wants?

#55514 +(167)- [X]

<bbraun> do you think that when thoreau urged us to simplify our lives, he meant going to serial terminals?

#56151 +(377)- [X]

<WetCuntDelirium> Well quit acting like a nazi, and perhaps misconceptions won't be developed
<mike> i must have missed the part where i started hating jews
<mike> i did not, however, miss the part where i started hating "j00"

#60930 +(380)- [X]

<@jwz> yeah, apparently I was getting shafted by perl's distinction between returning a single value, and returning a single value.

#62237 +(168)- [X]

<JohnWWells> Evening.
* JohnWWells Quit (Quit: Leaving)
<Nematocyst> it's not the EVENING
<Nematocyst> 19:29:09
<Nematocyst> ...
<Nematocyst> FUCK

#62681 +(165)- [X]

<dizzyg> Sinbad + hamster + KY jelly == happy
<RubberDuck> the thing about hamsters is that the ky sticks to the hair and to get them clean afterwards is a beech
<RubberDuck> or so i've been told

#73148 +(1313)- [X]

<Jester|TV> im not much of a programming fan...but i guess my teacher was a dumb biatch which is why
<Jester|TV> well theres some programming in the telecomm as well
<Martel> I'd never done real programming until first year
<Martel> I like how the word programming lined up 3 times
<Martel> YES!
<Martel> 4

#76862 +(315)- [X]

<LemmingAFK> I wasn't bothered by people calling me Lemming in real life, until girls started yelling it during sex.

#99829 +(385)- [X]

<Sinclair-> i liked the new travel slogan for Gaza
<Sinclair-> "Now only a stone's throw from jerusalem"
<@Death-Blade> lol

#105481 +(1555)- [X]

<gweebz0r> i went to the gf's work last week, they had no antivirus
<gweebz0r> 279 viruses
<gweebz0r> the best part was
<gweebz0r> they showed me their backup strategy
<gweebz0r> they use custom software
<gweebz0r> and the backed up the application by dragging the desktop icon ( a shortcut) to their cdrw
<gweebz0r> they had 2 years worth of shortcuts

#113632 +(195)- [X]

<MKendora> Unfortunately, Win2k still needs electricity to run >_<
<JB> Heh.
<JB> Maybe for 2k5.
<Fancia> They fix that in Windows SG (Supar Gud), which runs on the power of pure dreams.
<Tagrineth> Hehehe ^_^
<JB> Well, we're all screwed.
<Tagrineth> But that probably still won't run on most people's comps
<JB> Anyone here besides Fancia have a pure dream in teh last year?
<Fancia> ;b
<Tagrineth> NOT ME
<MKendora> I have impure dreams.
<MKendora> I have purely violent dreams.
<Fancia> Well, they're thinking of expanding Windows PG (Perfikt Gud) to run on any dreams. ;o
<JB> That may help.
<JB> Methinks some of the dreams here may corrupt it, though.
<Fancia> True. ^.^;
<Tagrineth> LOL
<Fancia> "Windows received an Illegal Dream error! Please reboot!"
<Tagrineth> Hehehe
<Tagrineth> "*PLEASE* reboot... (sicko)"
<JB> Windows has committed suicide to remove the image form it's memory. Please order a new copy.

#200729 +(110)- [X]

<efm> I'm sorry tbc, but I'm not interested in arguing with you. I prefer to argue with people who have some understanding of the way arguments are conducted.
<tbc> Ouch.
<tbc> And only a few days after jafo stabbed me in the face over the Internet. :-)
<efm> that was rude of him.
<jafo> It was a FRIENDLY stab in the face over the Internet.

#205836 +(114)- [X]

<acrimonious> dude
<acrimonious> Celeron
* acrimonious feels unclean

#213400 +(225)- [X]

<SCarfAcE> Russia has sent in the army to bolster a week-long struggle to rescue 10 tons of beer trapped under Siberian ice, Itar-Tass news agency said Tuesday. A lorry carrying the beer sank when trying to cross the frozen Irtysh river, and a rescue team of six divers, 10 workers and a modified T-72 tank from the emergencies ministry have so far failed to save the load.
<SCarfAcE> now that's a great allocation of resources!
<Abstruse> scar: And all we had to get that baby out of the well were firefighters with Vasoline.

#217478 +(425)- [X]

<Zero> in the summer my friend was chipping golf balls
<Zero> one ball went on my other neighbours yard
<Zero> chased him with a pitch fork
<Zero> honest to god
<Zero> a pitch fork

#222680 +(2338)- [X]

<Cheshire> I can't afford those plastic things to cover the electric sockets so I just draw bunny faces on the electric outlets to scare the kids away from them...
<RLtim> Newsflash! Kids aren't afraid of bunnies.
<Cheshire> Oh they will be...

#283713 +(57)- [X]

Guan Yu: One time I shit myself in a McDonalds.
Guan Yu: So I had to clean myself with my t-shirt. I shoved the shit-covered t-shirt in the tank part on the back of the toliet.
Guan Yu: I came back a year later and the shirt wasnt in the tank. That means somebody removed my shit-smeared DBZ shirt.
Guan Yu: That brings joy to my heart.

#417106 +(784)- [X]

<janelle> i hate guys
<PacerX> hey, people can piss me off too, but i don't write off their whole gnder
<PacerX> that would make me a feminist

#451471 +(237)- [X]

<samafk> ui'm fuckt'
<samafk> 1/2 ogke
<samafk> vodka
<samafk> bp
<+Ajurian> pretending to be drunk on irc isnt cool anymore

#463776 +(575)- [X]

<Turglith> as a DM you have UBER CONTROL!
<Uenohai> Yeh my friends and I were watching some Jesus Freak documentary
<Uenohai> Said gamers and Yu-Gi-Oh was satan
<Uenohai> So my friends and I made a pact
<Uenohai> First one to hell is Dungeon Master

#488268 +(1691)- [X]

<khamosis> oh man... i had typed "hey! anyone awake?" in another channel about 20 minutes ago
<khamosis> and just now i saw it and typed "yes!" not realizing it was me

#574649 +(1580)- [X]

<Dogan> man, my english class this year is so sweet
<Dogan> there was this quick write on the civil rights movement yesterday
<Dogan> couldn't think of anything else, so i just ended with "In conclusion, all your base are belong to us."
<Dogan> she just wrote "Rephrase?", and gave me 30/30

#697792 +(105)- [X]

<e1f> would you like to touch my .emacs?
<e1f> it's really big

#714482 +(489)- [X]

Gigs|  spammers need to get thier shit straight
Gigs| "horny mom getting it for the first time"

#744009 +(449)- [X]

<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work.
* ML-37 grins
<Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go".

#744067 +(546)- [X]

<slashdotuser> I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas.
<slashdotuser> Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER]

#773234 +(370)- [X]

<MadClown> i have your soul
<fall0ut> no, some pine tree had my soul one night
<fall0ut> when I was drunk
<fall0ut> I chopped it down and dragged it through a field for 2 hours
<fall0ut> and got my soul back
<fall0ut> kthnx
<fall0ut> ^-- true story
<MadClown> for some strange reason, i beleive you
<eclypse> yea.. i can honestly say i dont doubt this
<fall0ut> nothing like an axe in one hand
<fall0ut> a beer in another
<fall0ut> screaming at the tree
<fall0ut> "FUCK YOU TREE, I'M GONNA GET M YSOUL BACK"
<fall0ut> then tying a logging chain to it and dragging it around a field
<fall0ut> ....
<fall0ut> yea.....

#906902 +(817)- [X]

Alex: A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
Alex: The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

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