#1621 +(230)- [X]
<iMike> i think english transcends spelling
<DooD> especially with words like k3wl d00d
#1975 +(1446)- [X]
<c-rock> Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock n roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.
#3563 +(578)- [X]
<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.
#3584 +(266)- [X]
MrProgrmmr: I want to encode my sperms DNA with the DeCSS code, that way when I jack off, I'd be breaking the law
#3710 +(135)- [X]
<Epesh> I wish I was in control of all hiring
<Epesh> for everywhere
<Epesh> McD's would have no labour shortage
#6259 +(234)- [X]
<KaMeN> I just realized the only reason I would go to narcotics anonymous would be to get hookups for drugs
#6385 +(752)- [X]
<malp> this channel would be an argument for forced sterilization if there ever was a chance of any of you getting laid
<RunMe> malp: you keep talking as if you're NOT ON this channel
#7699 +(344)- [X]
<DrShah> anyone know what them things are called that will let me fit a hd into a 5 1/2 inch bay?
<_8ight> yeah. screws.
#8851 +(539)- [X]
<Grumbledook> my mum told me off for saying fuck in front of her
<bodhi> my dad bollocks me for saying piss in the house
<dave> my mum told me off for shitting on a plate and putting it in the fridge
#8943 +(246)- [X]
<Straylight> THIS JUST IN: Never trust your 9 year-old daughter with a babysitter named "Penishead McMurphy"
<Straylight> you cant trust those Micks
#13469 +(107)- [X]
<Khalal> I never did understand that quote NG
<NintendoGuru> Khalal: That's because you haven't seen a picture of Andrew Vestal
<Khalal> What does he look like?
<NintendoGuru> Think Richard Simmons french kissing and electrical outlet
#14339 +(259)- [X]
Bug> Red, yer a nut.
Bug> A left nut.
justRed-dammit> oooo.. will you be the right nut so that i can rub against you in tight clothing?
#14466 +(322)- [X]
<Amante> Do you guys know how many 24hr porno shops they have going down 75?
<@Breathe> And you don't want to know how I know that.
<Amante> I thought I recognized your picture :)
#15517 +(35)- [X]
<RadAghazt> Two British guys in a plane from the UK to the US set off terrorist alarms by their strange behaviour.
<RadAghazt> They were smoking crack and locked themselves into the bathroom to have sex several times during the flight.
#23061 +(131)- [X]
·nsanity· !kick Buster128 BAHHAHAa
•Buster128• you need a bot first LOL
#23364 +(144)- [X]
<Gentletouch> Adonai...one day you'lllearn...there are Much better things in life to lick then carpet ;D
<Adonai> yeah, like studying a grammar book
#24999 +(231)- [X]
<steelcap> Imagine there was a way to make a monitor give off like way more radiation
<steelcap> and give people cancer remotely
<steelcap> thatd be an awesome trojan feature..
#30504 +(257)- [X]
<+kritical`> damn look at them linux people
<+kritical`> are they ever gonna get a woman???
<+emul8or_> maybe if they pool their money
#34049 +(44)- [X]
<andy> there's a total of 3 pelvic orofices in that pool. And only two people.
<andy> There's plenty of room.
#36122 +(48)- [X]
<v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next person has a REALLY good idea what i did
#38705 +(449)- [X]
<Jade> they should make a chinese scrabble
<Jade> you have 40000 tokens and they all spell words
#39381 +(16)- [X]
(robbie-a): i have a cordless mouse and keyboard
(robbie-a): and a wireless A/V transmitter
(Sinada): i have a 9 inch cock
(Sinada): but i don't brag
(Kuros): Sinada: you lying sack of crap
(Sinada): well yeah you're right
(Sinada): it's 10
(robbie-a): i have a 2 inch cock
#42359 +(121)- [X]
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I like my terror-inducing weapons of mass destruction to have practical combat uses as well.
#44231 +(246)- [X]
<pHluid-> And that theoretical cap of 12k/sec, I've never seen it. 8k/sec is the tops I ever saw moving text around, except for that one mystical time when the moon was aligned properly. :
<Tom> sometimes if I drink goats blood thats still warm and cut fresh from the goat I get 800k/s
<datacide> i have sacrificed virgins and managed an extra 0.1 kb/s
<datacide> in the end i decided it is better to defile them
<datacide> gives you more on the long run
<pHluid-> datacide: That's because virgins create line noise.
#44977 +(368)- [X]
<LARZ_GOD_ME> lets see back 2 gta3 or back to studing
<LARZ_GOD_ME> which one
<darque9> considering your spelling, i'd say "studing"
#46145 +(253)- [X]
equate976: no matter what
equate976: use the soap and washcloth method
equate976: it feels like i jus beat it with some fiberglass insulation
#56271 +(153)- [X]
<mog> I take pride in being completly bitter and cynical
<BosTony> I take pride in the fact that Ive gone 5 weeks without an STD.
<mog> and getting pissed off at the smallest aspects of society
<mog> like personalized license plates
<PsykadelicAngel> Tony, we're so proud
<Jennilala> I'm getting one.
<BosTony> An STD?
#65112 +(227)- [X]
<Turd_Ferguson> static he is also a digital gangster
<static> digital gangster?
<static> wtf does that mean?
<static> he haf a digital crew of thugs?
<static> a shit load of 1's and 0's?
#72175 +(569)- [X]
<DCGrendel> i spent 8hrs today doing evil code to do evil things i dont really understand
<ragnarok2040> you work for microsoft?
#74147 +(651)- [X]
<@cray> oh shit
<@cray> picasso smilies
#75836 +(105)- [X]
(WAREZmunkeY) omg some1 has pushed a condom through our letterbox
(datafreak) used? :P
(WAREZmunkeY) i dunno
(WAREZmunkeY) i havent been to look that close at it
(Noodle[AFK]) well presumably it's unpackaged
(WAREZmunkeY) it is
#80399 +(535)- [X]
<Ophiel> welcome to irc, where everybody is an expert on everything
#82174 +(80)- [X]
<overandoutcaptn> it's all about searching ebay to get an estimate on the going rate for kidneys
<Poison_Idea> HAHAH ALEX
<Poison_Idea> alex sell your virginity on it
<overandoutcaptn> no kidneys on ebay
<overandoutcaptn> just kidney beans
<overandoutcaptn> and kidney shaped bowls
<Poison_Idea> i dont need a kidney
<Poison_Idea> illl put it on
<overandoutcaptn> and other useless crap that doesn't tell me how much a kidney is going for
<overandoutcaptn> i don't want to sell my virginity on ebay
<overandoutcaptn> some fat ugly mediterainian woman will prolly buy it
<Poison_Idea> haha nah my mum isnt mediterrian yo
<overandoutcaptn> although if an american or european buys it then they'd have to pay for postage and handling and i demand first class all the way
#86444 +(235)- [X]
<Dynamo> Do that again, and I will switch your testicles with your eyes.
#104916 +(17)- [X]
<Siidu> what died, the hdd?
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> FUCKING CHRIST!
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> some complicated core shit
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> brought it down faster than a fat chick falling down a stairwell
#105555 +(138)- [X]
<+fury> i envy cary... he's half my age and gets access to all the goodies :/
<@Chen> How old are you?
#138651 +(259)- [X]
<NE|KevinDeux> would ME run good on a p100, 32mb ram?
<[xeno]Nirox> sure....if its being draged behind a car
#138652 +(46)- [X]
<Vikki> everyone send me more pics of you all :)
<Vikki> lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag
* Vikki was kicked by Vikki (stop flooding)
#165207 +(332)- [X]
<PitChic> here, i'm sure the women at those phone places will talk to men or women..anyone paying.
<Marcus``> horses... farm animals
<Jadralec> Marcus you mean that in USA you can call horse on phone for animal sex ??
<Jadralec> that's amazing
<Jadralec> we are far behind
#189296 +(325)- [X]
* SLingmas sets mode: +b *!*@*
<@SLingmas> it's ok
<@SLingmas> I had subway for lunch
#394935 +(493)- [X]
<ThaNoise> you know i saw something funny last night. an asian guy wearing a jerry rice jersey. was it wrong of me to laugh at an asian persion with "RICE" printed on the back of his shirt?
#458504 +(260)- [X]
<pantherqs> i got raided
<pantherqs> mad leet.
<Thazul> as in raid0, or as in swat?
<pantherqs> as in
<pantherqs> my shop got raided. geek.
#618165 +(2777)- [X]
* Sinbad changes topic to '15000 atheists in London rioted after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk'
#756664 +(5)- [X]
walshy117: im afraid of the internet pr0n
walshy117: its like
walshy117: i was playing around the stove
walshy117: and i got burned
walshy117: now i dont fucking go in the kitchen anymore
walshy117: not saying i was literally beating off in the kitchen of course
#759858 +(1342)- [X]
<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!
#760257 +(341)- [X]
<Kortney> Actually, Linux users and atheists have a lot in common. At least, in my mind. There's no higher power (or help desk) to appeal to when stuff goes south, you've analyzed every component of the universe (because you compiled it), and you're fiercely evangelical while bashing evangelicals. :)
#761444 +(461)- [X]
<ChrisTheKiwi> Roses are red
<ChrisTheKiwi> Violets are blue
<ChrisTheKiwi> Im way to drunk
<ChrisTheKiwi> To have sex with you
<ChrisTheKiwi> So forgive me my dear
<ChrisTheKiwi> I must go spewjhgfknhguiaaqwjhilhih
<Ater> What THE hell?
#765910 +(530)- [X]
cthulhudream: come on Ben theres gotta be something we can do
||AB|| Benzin: alright I got an idea
||AB|| Benzin: I'm gonna need a pound of rohypnol, a keg, and directions to the nearest sorority house
||AB|| Benzin: and an alibi
||AB|| Benzin: cause they'll trace that shit when 30 girls don't remember what happened or why their pregnant, and all that
cthulhudream: I kinda wanna make larping weapons
||AB|| Benzin: and on the other end of the spectrum...
#877181 +(448)- [X]
<@stuartf> I just went and got a coke, the machine is one of the ones
with the conveyor belt in it and there was already a coke on
<@stuartf> if you buy anything to the left of the drink on the belt you
get what's already on the belt and your drink is left there
<@stuartf> if you buy anything to the right you get your drink and the
one on the belt remains
<@stuartf> if you drop another drink on the one that's already on the
belt the output is undefined
<@[M]oon> classic divide by coke error
<@PowerOfCheese[w]> this is a classic coke-in-the-middle attack
<@[M]oon> trojan coke
<@PowerOfCheese[w]> diet coke injection attack
<@Edgar_work> damnit, I wanted a water and got pinapple fanta
<@[M]oon> ahh. it got edgar
#880263 +(523)- [X]
chupathingy: When in Rome, nail a deity to a piece of wood