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#971 +(462)- [X]

<legolas> Not all of us can be preppy 'burb white kids.  ;^)
<hariya> legolas: actually not all of us can afford to be white either

#1603 +(459)- [X]

<pac> THAT DUDE THAT LOOKS LIKE ZERO COOL
<pac> IN MY SCHOOL
<pac> I YELLED ZERO COOL DURING LUNHC
<pac> AND HE STOOD UP
<pac> AND LOOKED AROUN

#1634 +(854)- [X]

<harb> Polybeastiality? Is that like cheating on your sheep with your cow?

#2037 +(737)- [X]

<timh> okay, kraken- you don't need to know a person before you talk to them.  otherwise there would be severe bootstrapping issues with human interaction

#2830 +(505)- [X]

*** bigdick (happy@12-232-82-116.client.attbi.com) has joined #cars
*** BigCunt is now known as RaMTuFF
* bigdick slides into BigCunt
*** bigdick (happy@12-232-82-116.client.attbi.com) has left #cars
<shaan> well that doesnt happen everyday

#3908 +(868)- [X]

*** Jei-Dijitaru has quit IRC (Do we really need warnings that the lead in paint will kill you? Keep in mind that these people have already made a conscious decision to CONSUME PAINT.)

#6969 +(293)- [X]

<glas_paper> my paper has the word count of the beast

#7160 +(376)- [X]

<dEaD_fAiRy> plus the guy has to look a certian way to turn me on
<Mousey> does he have to look desperate

#7809 +(343)- [X]

*** ChanServ sets mode: +nto ChanServ
<surfnazi> /msg chanserv addop #channel adminpass nick (or hostmask)
<]MC[-Penumbriate> thanks for setting it up
<surfnazi> np
*** surfnazi has left #clanmc
<]MC[-Penumbriate> ok whats adminpass?
<]MC[-Impletudable> whats the password?
<]MC[-Valipulent> what's the pass

#8636 +(292)- [X]

<teste_fly> i talk shit, and none of it's true and i'm a skinny pussy who wouldn't harm a turd
<teste_fly> but i will give it a stern talking to

#10774 +(1909)- [X]

<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
<guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass

#10860 +(921)- [X]

<rds|squall> im italian plz help me

#11934 +(261)- [X]

<jaydogg14!#devart> is anyone here from europe and hate americans, please msg me for this damn homework i gotta do

#13670 +(124)- [X]

<Cytoplasm[BLS]> #include <iostream.h>
<Cytoplasm[BLS]> void main(void) { float i = 0; while(true) {cout << i; i+=1; }
<reptile0> umm congrats on your programming accomplishment Cytoplasm[BLS]. John Carmack better watch out!

#14217 +(1053)- [X]

<FL|Work> feck, forgot to pay my stupid tax
<Pi|Mu|Rho> you get taxed on stupid? That's going to be one hefty bill.
<marek> he could fund 3 new hospitals all by himself

#15464 +(207)- [X]

<Nozomu> ted: and no one has ever crashed a movie theater into the pentagon
<rogue> noz: they might.  we should be careful.

#17871 +(162)- [X]

<Anton> Facial stabbing. Oozing blood. Shotgun vaginally inserted. Brains splatter over the wall. GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!
<Anton> is a good death metal track

#23369 +(318)- [X]

<@Rune[Somewhere]> the guy playing SC played until his heart gave out
<@Rune[Somewhere]> I think dying playing a computer game is the single most embarressing way to enter the afterlife
<@Rune[Somewhere]> "So, what happened to you?" "Oh, shark attack, you?" ".......Battlenet"
<@Rune[Somewhere]> the guy playing CS died from starvation and sleep deprivation
<@skold> CS gives you fucking 5 minute breaks every 2 minutes
<@skold> youd think he could grab a snack
<@Rune[Somewhere]> no kidding

#26642 +(465)- [X]

losercmc: I'm going to kill splintercell, or at least get banned trying
Sgtsnowman85: yea u should
Sgtsnowman85: if i had enough money i'd fly to his city and track him down
Sgtsnowman85: and lick his ass
Sgtsnowman85: AH!
losercmc: hahaha
Sgtsnowman85: kick!
Sgtsnowman85: omg

#31540 +(308)- [X]

<zugz> I can't stand people that preach, "Only God can judge" and yet simultaneously ridicule others for adultery, etc
<zugz> I don't know about what they believe, but my God wants me to get some.

#33720 +(29)- [X]

<@PookaIN> dich un kunt!
<+Thorsen> ok i dont can germaish
<ev-> i don't can norwegian neither you get?
<Thorsen> CAN SOMEBODY EACH ME SOME GERMANY???????
<Thorsen> WHAT MEANS I WONNA FUCK IN GERMANISH

#36602 +(166)- [X]

<Lilmuckers> ever had a wank in school where it hits the blackboard?
<ibor132> i hate those

#38251 +(405)- [X]

Cr|t|cal kicked by cajuncook (those "|"s are really obnoxious) 6:10pm
(|N-64|) those "|"'s are called pipes.
(cajuncook) well
(cajuncook) they are quite obnoxious
(gogglespy) so would #| be a hash pipe?

#42408 +(92)- [X]

<TML> simon-: You're single, aren't you?
<simon-> TML, yes, why?
<TML> simon-: I can tell by the fact you think in terms of
'TML->wife'
<octatron> TML: would you have used TML['wife']? :P
<TML> octatron: No. I'd use wife->TML

#49525 +(447)- [X]

xekk: i went to go see the ring
xekk: and this little kid, like 10 years old was sitting behind me
xekk: i guess he had his finger in his mouth
xekk: cause everytime something scary happened, he'd say "I bit my fingo!"
unslaught: hey everyone, im here!
MovieMan112: I bit my fingo!

#52835 +(620)- [X]

<Hawkon> you know.. we (they guys who got on internet in the early 90's using 14.4kbps modems)
<Hawkon> are alot better in bed
<Hawkon> cause we had to hang tight with that wank till the damn nude pic got downloaded

#56318 +(403)- [X]

<I3aH> can anyone help me? i need to get wine working
<CyberdogM8> just drink more of it 
<CyberdogM8> it'll work eventually

#72095 +(208)- [X]

<@nuclear_> anyone know about a/c systems in cars?
<@lucidguy> they blow.

#82130 +(333)- [X]

[Moe] Girl you know I like it when you climb on top
[Moe] Love muscles feel tighter than a headlock
[Moe] And you know I love the way you make the bed rock
[Moe] Take me to extasy without taking Extasy
[sp00n] You're a horrible rapper
[+LoGo] and person

#93196 +(748)- [X]

<Q> i need a remote control, and when you press a button on it, it makes your female friends stop being weird
<Lestat> I have one of those.
<Lestat> It's called a gun.

#95963 +(126)- [X]

<Species> this roast beef is either really fresh or really old

#98079 +(1232)- [X]

<@Splodge`> I think there might be some incest in my family because my dad's cock tastes exactly like my sister's snatch.

#101177 +(103)- [X]

<classNTBk> lifetime kicks ass
<classNTBk> its got designing women
<classNTBk> its slogan may be "television for women", but its attitude is "kickass enough for studs"

#105413 +(293)- [X]

<floop> now... a 22mp camera?  i'm stoked.
<irving> 22? why not just carry the scenery around with you? It'd be cheaper and smaller.

#134503 +(267)- [X]

(Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of the world is here?
(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs off their leashes again at the blind school

#138049 +(418)- [X]

<Uhh_Duh> relationships are so easy thanks to the internet.. you can establish and destroy them at the touch of a few keys!
<black-ice> it all starts with 3 letters, asl
<black-ice> and ends with stfu

#204225 +(305)- [X]

* jane masturbates
< applemacdude> god
< jane> YES!
< jane> found it

#226722 +(871)- [X]

seamus: Monday is President's Day.
seamus: What are YOU going to get YOUR president?
seamus: I'm going to get mine a dictionary and a Clifford the Big Red Dog book.

#238812 +(761)- [X]

<raindog> I'll ring you when I head out...
<morgamic> <3
<raindog> lol
<morgamic> want me to pick you up?
<raindog> nice testicles
<morgamic> it's a heart you jackass.
<raindog> oh

#242402 +(2439)- [X]

DinjackPD: there was this once, like three years ago, I forgot this big project I had to turn in when I went to school
DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home office) and asked him to bring it for me
DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your personal secretary."
DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did

#303093 +(781)- [X]

<@LoungeServ> For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

#414327 +(436)- [X]

<HF|CM_Krayakin> but come on bio, the chances of you getting a girlfriend are what? 0?
<Biolution> no i had one in the sims
<Biolution> actually, i'm gonna go download the sims 2, that way i can get lots of girlfriends
<Biolution> and i'm going to get the british version
<Biolution> that way the girls have that sexy brit accent when they talk dirty to me
<HF|CM_Krayakin> they don't talk in the sims2
<Biolution> they will when i'm sitting alone simulbating

#496098 +(922)- [X]

<Mrs_Grima_Wormtongue> My dad once said that we should just combine Hanukah, Groundhog Day and Easter.  We spin the dreidl, and if it lands on "Nun" Jesus has to stay on the cross for 6 more weeks.

#650907 +(915)- [X]

<bill> neo is spending all his time fixing his new van
<Kevin> If its new, why does it need fixing?
<bill> Kevin: heh, if you asked that question about software, it would sound completely idiotic

#671747 +(236)- [X]

<Chichi> have u ever been up to neck in pussy?
<Ree Cakes> Yeah, when you stand by me.

#714577 +(1179)- [X]

JDR-TSS: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of unrestricted internet access. You're afraid of not being fed content to you like AOL does. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show you customers what you don't want to see. I'm going to show you an intarwebs without holding your hand. An intarwebs without netnannies and content filters, without borders or boundaries. An intarwebs where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
BBuie-TSS: you really dont have a life do you?
JDR-TSS: There is no life.

#718587 +(493)- [X]

VisionSixTwo: In history class, our history teacher has a somewhat sporadic style of writing on the chalkboard.
VisionSixTwo: for some reason, she wrote "HitlerxMussolini". I forget why.
VisionSixTwo: I have suggested to Allison that wingfic must be written
Arch mage144: "Adolf," moaned Benito softly. "Your moustache. It tickles me so."

#724072 +(227)- [X]

<+maaneeack> and I can't get off 56k if there is nothing else
<+maaneeack> 56k, or yelling, and there is waaaay too much packet loss and downtime on yelling
<acquacow> that's what I tried to tell my mom
<acquacow> so I moved out
<acquacow> we now communicate digitally
<acquacow> and with the right spam filter
<acquacow> I hear nothing at all.

#880248 +(1853)- [X]

<Hitchhiker> Gotta catch 'em all!
<ManInBlack> STDs!
<marik7772003> gonorrhea, i choose you
<ManInBlack> GO GET 'EM, HIV!
<Hitchhiker> Herpes, fire attack!
<ManInBlack> HIV IS EVOLVING
<ManInBlack> CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR HIV HAS BECOME AIDS!

#882587 +(648)- [X]

<+Lekon> Oddly enough in fable 2 I AM queerbait somehow
<+Lekon> All the gay guys in bowerstone are trying to marry my guy
<+HereticMachine> Sent.
<+Lekon> Its a Halo above my head, not a steering wheel for my mouth bastards.

0.0661 21090 quotes approved; 811 quotes pending
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