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#1267 +(540)- [X]

uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause

#1341 +(302)- [X]

<SPD-DMN> i wanna get a 6.5L turbo-diesel and like.. put it into a honda accord
<SPD-DMN> or is that.. put a honda accord into a 6.5L turbo-diesel?

#1601 +(973)- [X]

<skatoni> will some one please help
<`NeXiGeN`> what's yer problem ?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<`NeXiGeN`> unplug yer modem
<skatoni> how?
<`NeXiGeN`> see all those wires behind your computer box ?
<`NeXiGeN`> ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]:
Connection reset by peer)

#2941 +(256)- [X]

<BlackDeth> the only effect cocaine really has is it makes you want more cocaine :D

#3170 +(691)- [X]

<bits> about 7-8mil live in sydney
<bits> well not "sydney city" but live in sydney and its surrounding suburbs
<Joshua> nice
<Joshua> oh wait, you guys are on the metric system
<bits> yep
<Joshua> that's only like 3.5 million people in our system
<bits> lol

#3780 +(395)- [X]

(nexxai) I just tried to light my smoke, but I forgot to put it in my mouth, and burnt my nose :(
(nexxai) I lit the lighter, then realized the smoke was still on the desk
(nexxai) D:

#5511 +(646)- [X]

*** Moses is now known as Cain
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro
<KeeperS> ...
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible
* KeeperS is moved to tears

#5784 +(212)- [X]

<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.

#7272 +(291)- [X]

( Fuzzy     ) jBalls: go get all asian on them and start bargining
( jBalls    ) haha i lack that crucial gene
( jBalls    ) i cant bargain my way out of a cardboard box
( Lev       ) but you ddr like a motherfucker

#8404 +(27)- [X]

<Falkonn> okay...now make the logical connection to this----> <Deciheximal> No household is complete without Jesus... He's on call to beat the wife when the husband is away.

#10965 +(31)- [X]

<Wilson99> omg thats so phat !! i never knew saw that
<T1Jr> yeah it is pretty overweight.

#11225 +(120)- [X]

* pygmy fires up excel
[@pygmy] or not
[@pygmy] I'd need it installed to do that :)

#13868 +(38)- [X]

<bpb> let's all play a game shall we?
<bpb> ok, everybody who has a line that is probably tapped raise your hand
* bpb raises his hand
<bpb> now, raise your hand if you think iip is completely secure ;)

#14733 +(260)- [X]

<tortoise> this channel is only big enough for one slut.....and i aint' leaving

#16121 +(260)- [X]

<zamros> when i was seven i saw a car get run over by another car
<zamros> my first accident witnessing
<zamros> and/or moster truck rally

#16252 +(263)- [X]

<mrfrosty> From: webmaster@P0PMAILER.ORG
<mrfrosty> Subject: Learn the secrets of the rich!
<mrfrosty> [-- Error: unexpected end of file! --]
<mrfrosty> he's a tosser
<mrfrosty> i had the secrets of the rich in my grasp
<mrfrosty> i feel like a shakespearean tragedy
<mrfrosty> actually it's jsut these tights
<mrfrosty> and this shoulder length wig
<mrfrosty> and nothing to do with the injustices perpetuated upon me by WEBMASTER@P0PMAILER.ORG
<mrfrosty> (who shall be known as cunt from this moment forth)

#17927 +(42)- [X]

<baboo> Takin' the ol' skinboat to Tuna Town.
<JakeD> Doing the five-knuckle shuffle on the piss-pump.
<baboo> 'Course, when I masturbate, I use only three fingers. More grip that way.
<baboo> I've got enough foreskin to open a KFC.

#30166 +(1302)- [X]

<Match> DAMMIT! All my half life cd keys are in use! I can't get on CS!
<Match> Those monkeyfuckers who actually bought the game are probably playing it!
<H4Z3> Does their evil know no bounds?

#33509 +(61)- [X]

<Ghetto> OMG it's raining here like a cow pissing on a flat rock

#39556 +(202)- [X]

<sponge> windows needs a big red button that deletes windows when you click it.. itll be temping to the morons
<sponge> and thus the internet will be left with all the smart people
<sponge> and the newbie mac users

#39985 +(151)- [X]

<mattym15> will pressing ctrl alt delete twice improve my d/l speeds ?

#40950 +(252)- [X]

<mnsnsan> fourteen is legal in canada <chrizto> with the exchange rate, that makes the legal limit like, 5 in the us

#43662 +(1009)- [X]

<MattV> Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, and F are the letters for bra sizes?
<MattV> If you've wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you were informed!
<MattV> A- Almost boobs
<MattV> B- Barely there
<MattV> C- Can't complain!
<MattV> D- Damn!
<MattV> DD- Double damn!
<MattV> E- Enormous!
<MattV> F- Fake.

#46526 +(40)- [X]

<MistaED|CrazyTaxi> ARGHH
<MistaED|CrazyTaxi> Crazy_Taxi.Deviance.ShareReactor.bin.exe, it doesn't bloody work
<[whee]Kris|bah> .......you don't run the file, ed

#46759 +(214)- [X]

<Kash_> ouch! cheeze is hot when worn

#47116 +(913)- [X]

<DruMorgan> Anyone remember Big Bird singing the song about the alphabet pronouncing it as one big word?
<DruMorgan> AbkaDefGiJekylmanopriqstuvixez
<MrSnazz> didn't that open up a gateway to hell or something?

#52028 +(307)- [X]

<@humble> soliciting sex with an underage minor gets +2 sentence points for using a computer
<@jsb> you've got jail

#57110 +(188)- [X]

danamania: wtf is an "ex police" imac?
gelfie: dana: just means it sat in a police station running word I guess
danamania: phwooooar
danamania: like ex-police camrys
gelfie: either that, or it comes with free kiddy porn and a stash of ecstacy tablets hidden in a false bottom

#74464 +(93)- [X]

<Spingo> I know of many MAN installations. I have even done a few myself.

#81973 +(502)- [X]

<dsfsadfa> do you guys know what would be even cooler than the death of bush?
<SaberRider> an iraq victory ?
<SaberRider> (which is very unlikely)
<dsfsadfa> orange flavored pepsi
<Keltosh-ill> ...
<Iraq> Whoa...
<Iraq> That'd be awesome!
<dsfsadfa> i told you

#85486 +(1989)- [X]

<Perrin> OPEN
<Perrin> OPEN]
<Perrin> OPEN
<Perrin> NO

#89439 +(978)- [X]

<Tetsuya_Ryuji> I just had sex
<Tetsuya_Ryuji> And it was good
<Roovis> testuya, try the multiplayer version, its better.

#95326 +(2161)- [X]

<ajax> Some people...have the idea that evolution is a fucking system of...
<ajax> "oh i need flippers, i'd better grow some" type bullshit. :P
<ajax> It's more like "Oh shit look at that freak over there with the flippers hahaha OH SHIT I AM DROWNING OH GOD SAVE ME FLIPPER BOY".

#98372 +(179)- [X]

<merk> never make a comment to your friend that a mentally challenged person in a wheelchair is getting more action than him

#105216 +(73)- [X]

<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> yeah
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> hm
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa?

#106645 +(154)- [X]

@(TekU4iA) btw
@(TekU4iA) its 195bpm
@(TekU4iA) thanks
@(TekU4iA) K
  (thebigo) 195?
  (thebigo) who do you think you are? squarepusher?

#115836 +(2176)- [X]

* God plays the Sims.
* God clicks on "Gothic" and selects "swear"
<Gothic> Fuck
<Gothic> Wait, what

#122558 +(762)- [X]

<Calvinosaur> Water parks should make their entrances narrow, say 24 inches. If you can't fit through sideways, then you're too fat to be wearing a swimsuit in public.

#202430 +(612)- [X]

[+MadManDaz] I brought a david blane toy 10 days ago. I Still cant get the fucker out the box.

#217447 +(335)- [X]

DShadow_: I don't have any use for floppies now.
DShadow_: Though I've still got a ton in my closet
twist: better archive them to cdr before they rot
DShadow_: Most of them I did.
twist: (then archive those to dvd-r before they rot)
LafinJack: and archive *those* to MTRs
LafinJack: ack, i'm not supposed to talk about that :o
DShadow_: LafinJack: MTR?
LafinJack: shh, you didn't hear me say that

#233274 +(695)- [X]

<~DuDE~> My sister was driving home today
<~DuDE~> Somebody comited suicide by jumping of a bridge onto the motorway
<~DuDE~> And landed on my sister's bonnet!
<Barnes> Jesus christ that's terrible!
<Barnes> She'll lose her no claims discount on her insurance!

#244161 +(578)- [X]

shopgirl6665: installing flash...soon my website will be the coolest ever
shopgirl6665: hmmm...there appears to be somewhat of a learning curve...

#244314 +(743)- [X]

<Lord_Nuke> Blegh, today was annoying
<Lord_Nuke> Some people I wonder how they remember to get dressed mornings
<l33t-mercury> how so?
<Lord_Nuke> Well, as you know, I work at the Best Buy Rebate Center
<Lord_Nuke> So a woman calls in, she got a letter declining her rebate request for invalid receipt
<Lord_Nuke> it turns out she bought her computer at Comp-Usa, and then went on bestbuy.com and printed off a rebate form
<Lord_Nuke> And she wonders why she didn't get her rebate
<l33t-mercury> OMG! Rofl!
<Lord_Nuke> Yeah, well, its still better than the fool who forgets to mail it in at all
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to check on my rebate. I've been waiting 6 months"
<Lord_Nuke> Me: "Well, do you have a copy of your rebate form with you?"
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yeah, let me open my envelope here, I have the rebate form."
<Lord_Nuke> Me: "Wait, wait. You have the envelope there? As in you didn't mail it?"
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yeah, it's right here. Can you tell me what's taking so long?"
<l33t-mercury> lol
<Lord_Nuke> Me: "Just let me confirm this: You didn't mail it in, and you want to know what's taking so long?"
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yes, that's correct..... oh. Shit." *click*
<l33t-mercury> haha

#440165 +(262)- [X]

<mandz> i am going out. i'm waiting for the washing machine to stop
<lohnro> usually youre on top of it hoping it doesnt stop

#453626 +(279)- [X]

<@Carmen> I wish I did all the things I wanted to do to my EX before we broke up
<@Carmen> Selling her to that guy out east for 6000 would have been a good start
<@Deadlymouse> should have taken four goats and a Camel when you were offered it
<@Carmen> Ya would have gotten more from the goat

#621568 +(2288)- [X]

< Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
< Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
< Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
< Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.'

#702617 +(1118)- [X]

<Jim Kuhn> I just think it is silly that if I live in certain states in a 'free country' that I am not allowed to even read a poker forum.
<DrSavage> What gave you an impression that you live in a free country?
<bigalt> fox news

#748074 +(2136)- [X]

<Fuzion> research has shown that men are less likely to attempt suicide, but more likely to succeed.
<Kadaj>  it's because they tend to use guns, while women use things like sleeping pills.
<Fuzion> that just pisses me off.
<Fuzion> the last thing you are ever going to do... would it kill you to do it right?!
<Fuzion> ...
<Fuzion> wait

#900148 +(5725)- [X]

* Vesper is now known as CodyB
<Teku> why the nick change?
<CodyB> I'm teaching this hot chick how to use IRC
<xanatos> ...why
<CodyB> I got grounded for two weeks and I can't call anyone. I figured I could talk to her here, at least.
<CodyB> be cool, I'm teaching her about channels and she might come in here
<xanatos> how did you get grounded
<CodyB> I locked my sister outside for three hours.
<xanatos> i bet she didnt like that
* StacyF has joined #randomshit
<CodyB> yeah I thought my parents were going to kill me
<CodyB> oh hey, there you are
<Teku> So you had sex with your sister on your parents bed and they walked in on you? Wow Cody, you're lucky you only got grounded for two weeks.
<StacyF> eeew you sick fuck
* StacyF has left #randomshit
<Teku> I know you're going to kill me later, but it was so worth it
<CodyB> you motherfucker

#962756 +(164)- [X]

< ntc> is it possible to recover encrypted files from an ecryptfs container? i lost the passphrase
< scorbutus> ntc: you could try filing a foia request with dhs

0.0624 21064 quotes approved; 412 quotes pending
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