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#77 +(762)- [X]

<Mac_BETA> I will give you 4 gigs o pr0n for yer mercedes

#100 +(112)- [X]

<Kayem> Don't tell anyone, but... I'M the one who gave Stella her groove back

#912 +(107)- [X]

[07:34] * Fustard is away, penis butter puffs [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
[07:45] * Fustard has returned, that was some good cock. [gone:10m21s]

#6204 +(334)- [X]

<felix:#916> there is a DEAD FUCKING RAT in our server room
<felix:#916> it's like, ROTTING
<felix:#916> 8 or 9" long, overall
<asphyxia:#916> damn packet kiddies

#8866 +(349)- [X]

<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know

#9222 +(468)- [X]

<Al> vasectomy is a foolish barbarism
<Al> it would be completely unnecessary is men weren't so stupid to keep having sex with women
<jre|away> It's not that.  The odd sperm cell can cling to air particles and accidentally get sucked into a passing vagina
<Vodex> like an extraction fan but in reverse
<Al> damn those vaginas, is there no depravity they will not commit

#9532 +(334)- [X]

<Sir Mordred> I was a real bad mo'fo in high school
<lancelot> do you play chess Mordred?
<Sir Mordred> Yeah I used to play a few times a week

#11969 +(246)- [X]

<blitzoid> Goddamn... skid marks on underwear are bad, but you know you've been sitting for too long when you see them on your chair.

#14178 +(494)- [X]

*** Emo has joined #GDProject
<Emo> hwat kind of emo do u like emo?
<Emo> oh shit
<Emo> thats me
<Emo> lol
<Emo> boy do i look like a dumbass
<Emo> forgot i switched comps

#14339 +(239)- [X]

Bug> Red, yer a nut.
Bug> A left nut.
justRed-dammit> oooo.. will you be the right nut so that i can rub against you in tight clothing?

#16362 +(186)- [X]

<SaraMarie> the houston texans
<SaraMarie> how original
<toast_> do they have an open container as a mascot?

#17273 +(363)- [X]

<0dan0> i have peed like 10 minutes in the last 5 minutes

#18038 +(269)- [X]

<Worsemaker> public boolean whore(String x) { if (x = "Your Mom") { return true; } else { return false; }
<Seigfried> You forgot your close brace, Worsemaker.
<Seigfried> And the else is extraneous.
<Seigfried> And I don't think you need the "public" unless it's actually in a class.
<Seigfried> And THAT has infinite levels of recursion. ;P
*** Worsemaker was kicked by Mandoric (C++ kick. =p)

#22663 +(292)- [X]

<Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
<Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
<Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
<Delidgamond> fuck
<Delidgamond> said that wrong
<Malbi> no you said it correct

#23342 +(490)- [X]

<[SAD]Kuja> ppl like you are scum
<[SAD]Kuja> i hope you fucking choke you asshole
<[SAD]Kuja> if you died and ppl dissrespected you like that
<[SAD]Kuja> would you be happy ??
<pain> no. I would be dead.

#23418 +(245)- [X]

<Valsholk Angelus> There are some things that a woman shouldn't say to me.
<DaRiachu> Like what?
<Valsholk Angelus> "Hold on, I have to mount my outdoor thermometer."
<DaRiachu> ::snicker::
<Valsholk Angelus> All I could think to say was, "Mercury Rising." (g)

#34419 +(273)- [X]

<zimalicious> size doesnt matter. as long as you know how to use it.
<Ralp> But size does matter if you have no idea what you're doing?
<Mattress> hmm, I didn't really have any idea what I was doing and it was apparently awesome, does that mean I have a big penis?

#36887 +(312)- [X]

<lavhoes> fuck, i hate it when i need something from my mom and she's having sex.

#41752 +(165)- [X]

<Endura> Man, don't you just hate it when you are with your parents in front of important people and all of the sudden...you're hard and it won't go down?

#46748 +(111)- [X]

<TonyD> wtf is wrong with ztnet?
<Pr3ttyF1y> tonyd: blame lev
<TonyD> i already did, it didn't help

#50101 +(462)- [X]

{+Maynard} Guys i have a queastion
{@Dark|gone} no you dont blow its just called that

#51990 +(113)- [X]

< gimbgoth> Fatal-Err: yeah, that's a bummer huh
< Fatal-Err> bummer? what means bummer?
<+insight> damn
<+Moak> it's fuck in the "okay-to-say-at-mom's-table" version

#53320 +(293)- [X]

<RedRabbit> guys does os/2 mean only half an operating system ?

#58548 +(80)- [X]

<Kevyn> I think I'm going to buy one of those LCD screens and snap it onto my girlfriend instead of my Gamecube.
<Kevyn> So I can play Monkey Ball and fuck her in the ass at the same time.

#59744 +(201)- [X]

<+Tincan> omega could code his way out of a straight jacket!
<@omega> out?
<+Tincan> yeah i guess
<+Tincan> i dunno i just thought of it
<@omega> dude, the rate im going, im going to be coding myself INTO a straight jacket.
<+Tincan> lolol

#75579 +(126)- [X]

<Grim> You know you've been spending too much time around computers when:
<Grim> You take a sip of your coffee, find out it's cold, and try to remember if you have a backup ):

#76236 +(281)- [X]

<tsingtao> i got a test back today
<tsingtao> i got 100%
<IgWannA> was it for HIV?

#81165 +(220)- [X]

<Recca_sama> ok ok ok...........cyber........yesterday afternoon.......my mom knocked on my door and I opened it and she was talking to me about if i had enough money for the night and stuff like that.......and out of no where from iparty comes cyber's voice saying "your mom cab sit on my big cock. I want to fuck her hard"

#81215 +(203)- [X]

ErikB -> you know what is funny? i can measure my level of health by playing quake2. when i eat bad, sleep irregular and drink much, i play like shit. when i skate, take vitamin pills and sleep good i rule the scene. vitamin C is the key

#89700 +(651)- [X]

<axelf> yeah, until jamaisvu resets the stats
<^Bret^> 23044 smilies
<^Bret^> dude
<^Bret^> I work at a net cafe
<^Bret^> I have *nothing* but time on my hands
<axelf> and semen
<^Bret^> and semen

#89980 +(260)- [X]

<HungSolo> goin with xp
<HungSolo> never done linux so i dont wanna screw around with somethin i know nothin about
<Nemephosis> like girls?
<tdh> LOL

#102339 +(266)- [X]

<%revmoo> http://revmoo.home.insightbb.com/irox.jpg
<%revmoo> (yes that is a real screenshot)
<%revmoo> (no I do not have a life)

#105595 +(436)- [X]

(MikeHunt) she told me to kiss her where it smells funny, so I took her to New Jersey.

#106886 +(19)- [X]

---- Jeb changes topic to: http://pussyinacan.com/products.html
-[ Jeb ]- there we go
-[ J_B_007 ]- wow
-[ J_B_007 ]- thats all they sell
-[ Jeb ]- lol but all diferrent kinds
-[ Jeb ]- if u click on the product
-[ J_B_007 ]- oh
* J_B_007 goes back
-[ J_B_007 ]- heh
-[ J_B_007 ]- is there a diff between the pussy and the mouth except that its turned sideways?
-[ Jeb ]- lol

#137754 +(755)- [X]

<Elfer> I remember tangie complained about only getting a $30 GC game for EASTER
<Elfer> bitch
<Elfer> Know what I got for easter?
<Elfer> nothing
<Elfer> not even chocolate or anything
<Elfer> Well, at least I didn't get crucified
<Elfer> unlike some suckers at easter

#152138 +(194)- [X]

* Suzzie just learned the term "donkey punch"
<Suzzie> the question is, why is it listed in the "sports" category

#246488 +(894)- [X]

<homenerd> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
<homenerd> Fish

#252818 +(1157)- [X]

<B-HAX> damnit my neighbor enabled security on his wifi router
<B-HAX> i am so annoyed
<B-HAX> i probably shouldnt have stuck the antenna right in my window pointing at his house
<B-HAX> i don't give people very much credit sometimes

#264226 +(1232)- [X]

<zN|nJa> I wonder how tough the recruiting for suicide bomber school is
<zN|nJa> 'now watch closely because I'm only gonna do this once'

#390150 +(188)- [X]

<Breach> I just got another "make your penis larger for $20.00" email. I already spent $140 and now when I get excited I fall over forward.. the only good thing is the kickstand effect.

#433209 +(959)- [X]

<PsYko> u know whats better than 1 sub? 2 subs
<PsYko> :D
<Sig|lap> and do you know whats better than that?
<Sig|lap> 2 subs with cookies
<Rizel> what about 3 subs a cookie and a cold beer
<zappp> i'll see your 3 cookies and raise you 1 coke
<Virar> i fold
<PsYko> hit me
* wot punches PsYko

#447304 +(746)- [X]

David> Mexicans are some hardworking motherfuckers.
David> This area LOVES mexicans.
David> Because of all the farms and such around here.
David> Particularly the mushroom farms.
David> It's hard to find workers for such places
David> But those fuckers could put together a house in a few hours if they'd never picked up a hammer before
David> As opposed to white people
David> Who would think about it for a few seconds
David> Then call the contractor
David> Who would assign a foreman
David> Who would hire mexicans to do it

#635901 +(662)- [X]

jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get? Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position open for me. :D

#647601 +(1486)- [X]

Jeffrey: Our customers at Cox are simply amazing.
Jeffrey: So I'm trying to troubleshoot this customer's cable. I tell her to punch in "zero, three" on the remote control.
Jeffrey: These instructions were followed shortly by two tones in my ear.

#650542 +(248)- [X]

<SHn> how come its cheaper to fly from brisbane to sydney then the other way?!!!
<disco[burrito]> cause you need all the smart people you can get

#670728 +(395)- [X]

<Blarrrg> Holy shit, best idea for a doormat ever.
<Blarrrg> 10 HOME
<Blarrrg> 20 SWEET
<Blarrrg> 30 GOTO 10

#708656 +(924)- [X]

<VFR8> My band teacher let me try to learn tuba yesterday in the music room when there was nobody else there
<VFR8> I tried blowing too hard and I passed out X|
<VFR8> He came in at the end of the period and found me unconscious on the floor with the tuba lying next to me
<VFR8> I wish I could have seen the look on his face...

#745565 +(1564)- [X]

<zak> I once almost kissed a girl but then she woke up.. then i woke up

#777323 +(3348)- [X]

<redwyre> kez said you you are a whiney bitch
<TraumaPony> Haha
<redwyre> and that you smell
<TraumaPony> Heh
<redwyre> and that you're gay
<TraumaPony> Lol
<redwyre> and that you like visual basic
<TraumaPony> THAT CUNT

#835536 +(1255)- [X]

<korn> yeah so i got into ITT tech today
<possible> what did you have to do?
<possible> open the door?
<korn> up yours man

0.0496 20945 quotes approved; 4673 quotes pending
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