|
#539 +(883)- [X] <BobDole> i'm not the real bob dole
<BobDole> but.. i'm just on this nick
<T`karthon> ohh
<Nija_work> had me fooled
<T`karthon> thanks for clearing that up for us
#979 +(677)- [X] <kisama> and i'm feeling invisible, you can't see me anywhere.
*** kisama was kicked by Amanda^_^ (ensuring your invisibility)
#2018 +(217)- [X] <MadHatter> I wish I could get a job as a stunt penis
<MadHatter> like for porno movies
<MadHatter> I don't look like a pornstar(not that I'm ugly, I just don't have that look), but I have a porno penis
#4521 +(224)- [X] <Anton> 8mm is a good film as well, but I'm puzzled as to why nicolas cage never got arrested for murder
<Alexander> hes just an actor
<Waldo> damn!
<Alexander> it wasn't real
#6500 +(314)- [X] -^cell^- how fast is your processor?
«tylor» 56k
#6791 +(311)- [X] <Kelly> i know a guy who was so facinated w/ tits he take two condoms, fills them w/ water, ties them together, slings them over his shoulders and wears them in a bra
<crazym> Kelly: you need to get out less.
<Kelly> heh!
#7312 +(252)- [X] <aegis> my penis fits in electrical sockets!
#7329 +(295)- [X] <fiXie> me have black eye :(
<ArioZ`> from whats?
<heartz> hah, inept cocksucking of course
#8479 +(141)- [X] <Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here
<Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life.
<spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm
<Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit.
<spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
#9114 +(576)- [X] <D`Amour> time to gogogadgetbacktoworkasquickasfuckbeforeigetfired
#9909 +(87)- [X] <carl> Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression
#9976 +(104)- [X] Nikki_afe > Russian biscuits are nice :)
Snaar_afe > Nikki: hm, i can't remember anything special about them
Snaar_afe > Nikki: i'm not sure if there is such thing as russian buscuits :-)
Snaar_afe > maybe it's just a rebranded dry dogfood :-,
oPless_afe > "russian biscuits" = potatos
#13370 +(433)- [X] <HuStLe> Today I was was flirting with this hot girl in the halls after school but once again my computer screwed me over
<Netminder> How so?
<HuStLe> Well I was gettin far with her, then she me a secret about her and her ex, I went to laugh, but guess what came out.
<HuStLe> Me - "Laugh out Loud", I actually said laugh out loud. :(
#14581 +(586)- [X] <@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
#15007 +(294)- [X] <@Cyb> wtf is it
< tom> like pictionary
< tom> it sounds gay but its actually really fun
< tom> until people start drawing pictures of kkk people with NIGGERS DIE written on them
< tom> but that only happened this one time
#15878 +(602)- [X] <Ouroboros> The large print giveth, and the fine print taketh away.
#16602 +(249)- [X] <Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
<Baledood> oops
<Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key
#17009 +(577)- [X] <jonathans> i can stand on the sides of my ankles
<jonathans> both heels inward
<jonathans> i can balance on one for a bit
<clay> i can touch my penis with my hands
#17067 +(155)- [X] <Fro> i thought you had 24/7 support
<@TEKnoFLVA> yes but that doesn't mean you can use it 24/7
#21001 +(303)- [X] *** panda sets mode: +vvv ecs Kitsune Warskull
*** Goonigoogoo sets mode: +vvv Beersplurgleywurgelywoo chris[sleep] JonesSoda
<afropik> I don't liek where this is going
*** panda sets mode: +m
*** afropik is now known as WTFTurnItOff
#33105 +(91)- [X] <Kenji310> Crap shit, my teacher wants me to find out how dogfishes reproduce
<Wallon> Um, dogfish sex?
<Kenji310> yep
<Stryker> They do it doggie style.
#34457 +(630)- [X] <Spoon35> my girlfriend drew a picture of an orgasm once
<Spoon35> I didn't think it would look like that.
<SenorWeir> was it her with another man?
#36635 +(8)- [X] <Inferi0r> sean, hrm, i cant buy "getting laid" on ebay
<Sean> "your search for 'getting laid' returned 0 results, please check later
#49476 +(186)- [X] <Byte> i cant find a good isp :(
<Byte> vcisp.net looked good
<Byte> but 30 hours/week...
<Byte> i use at least 56 hours
<Byte> per day
#52503 +(939)- [X] <neural> i wish my motherboard would find a fatherboard so i could have anotherboard
#63088 +(458)- [X] <JosephSpiros> just got Cable Modem
<JosephSpiros> I'm going a bit insane
<JosephSpiros> OMG
<JosephSpiros> CABLE MDOEM MEANS
<JosephSpiros> I CAN WAKE UP AT ANY TIME
<JosephSpiros> AND JUST BE ONLINE
<JosephSpiros> :D:D:D
<RangerRick> haha
<RangerRick> and more importantly... now your porn can MOVE!
<JosephSpiros> I KNOW!
#64745 +(335)- [X] <egg> I said I was back with Cake. I never said there was enough for everyoone
<Diet_Crack> IM ETHIOPIAN.. POOR, HUNGRY, NOW GIVE ME CAKE
<kooshy> didn't napster teach you anything about sharing?
<egg> Yes.
<egg> Don't.
#65803 +(354)- [X] <Kazeuri> That would roxor to live in a cave back in the day. I would still rather be a pirate though.
<Kazeuri> I guess I have to settle for internet pirate. Yarrr, sail the seven ISPs.
#76891 +(243)- [X] <BongOP> if there's anything more bizarre than fucking a blow up doll, it's having 'group sex' with a bunch of blow up dolls.
#81867 +(491)- [X] <Japhro> two lovers, making sweet love. sure one may be a tentacle monsterm and the other is a screaming, bleeding, 14 year old girl. but love prevails and finds a way.
#84409 +(98)- [X] <wizards23> anyone get the game madden 2003 from k-mart like me ?
<drunkers> dont ever say that out loud
<wizards23> what that i got madden?
<drunkers> no that you shop at k-mart
#88828 +(104)- [X] <M^tt> home made pr0n r0x
<[OCS]eXistenZ> this is true
<[OCS]eXistenZ> unless u r on your own :-\
#89143 +(622)- [X] <Flaze> forum still down?
<Vye-rus> Check yourself
<Vye-rus> We're not slaves
<Flaze> yep
<Flaze> still down
<Vye-rus> haha thanks for checking for me
#89814 +(1057)- [X] <SomeRandom> It looks like operation Iraqi Freedom is almost over.
<Diablo1399> Bah! "Iraqi Freedom" is a shit name.
<SomeRandom> Well what would you have called it then?
<Diablo1399> Easy: Operation Who's Your Baghdaddy.
#98020 +(720)- [X] <Blum> I was with a girl once and she pointed and laughed. She said "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
<Blum> I said "Me"
#98063 +(206)- [X] <Guardian_Latino> manboobs give girls something to look at when they're talking to you
#98398 +(987)- [X] <RatingsQ> WHOA I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR A MOVIE
<RatingsQ> d00d what if you had this dude, typing on IRC...
<RatingsQ> but if he falls below 55 words per minute, dalnet explodes?
#101584 +(394)- [X] <Kionon> "Left, right, front, back, penis in, penis out."
<Andris> Dance Dance Reproduction.
#151071 +(894)- [X] [+Matt] Problem is, Cube fans are angered because they think everyone thinks Nintendo make kids game
[+Matt] And Xbox fans are angered because they think that everyone thinks the Xbox is a brick
[%Crok] nintendo and microsoft should work together to make lego
#191350 +(245)- [X] <Rayt> I blame Jesus for everything
<Shu> I BLAME IT ALL ON ALLAH.
<Rayt> Allah is kewl in my book
<Rayt> If you can convince people to blow themself up in your name, you've done well in life
#222549 +(976)- [X] <+commodore_dude> anyone wanna make me a magic 8-ball in java?
<+x24> ask again later
#266832 +(587)- [X] <vidkid7> he told us about some kid who turned in a render of a hunting knife for his project
<vidkid7> and when he asked to see the wireframe "you sure?"
<vidkid7> "yeah, I need to see it"
<vidkid7> "...ok"
<vidkid7> and he turned it to wireframe
<vidkid7> and had written "I'LL KILL YOU" over and over and over like a thousand times behind the image
<vidkid7> @_@
#447663 +(649)- [X] <WarrioR> The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is kind of the opposite way we elect a president.
#482546 +(380)- [X] <eGagz-Trevor`> i spilt weiner juice in my lap
<blue[2q]> WHAT?!
<eGagz-Trevor`> the stuff that comes out of those cans with those vienna weiners
#576116 +(1740)- [X] <Quast> bbg: homosexuality isn't a badge you get after you fuck a guy in the ass for the first time
<Quast> or get it yourself
<xooz98> which badge do you get again?
<xooz98> the boy scouts system is so complicated
#613541 +(960)- [X] USnip: today in english class
USnip: the teacher was discussing a thesis statement about close friends
USnip: and she was like
USnip: "well what do you want from a close friend?"
USnip: and one guy yelled out "well is it a male or a female"?
USnip: and she snapped back "I'm sure it doesn't matter to YOU"
#643801 +(217)- [X] <LinearA> so my boss emails me this resume for a 10AM interview
<LinearA> within 5 mins I trace the email address to a handle to an
adultfriendfinder account.
<LinearA> !! Why can't people be more careful !!
<LinearA> "Need Hot Top To Fill Me UP!!"
#652381 +(839)- [X] Chutt: my wife drops an earring down the bathroom sink
Chutt: so i take the sink apart and get it back
Chutt: while i'm hooking everything back up, she helpfully cleans out the bucket i used under the drain
Chutt: of course, i called out "it's in the bucket" after she took it
Chutt: but apparently that didn't register. so i got to take apart the basement drain
#776099 +(276)- [X] <Valaris> Q: How do I get child pornography?
<Valaris> A: Start a free image hosting site.
#894334 +(508)- [X] <BobbyJenkins> Any GLBT fellow Scots going to the Pride Scotia March at the end of this month in Edinburgh?
<Sensationalism> I take it you are going? If I go to any Pride events this year, it'll be my first. I'm excited!
<BobbyJenkins> I was going to but I found out I've got work.
<Lost-Chances> Call in gay.
|