#200 +(67)- [X]
<bocz> ok dood, whatever
<bocz> go sip your mocca and read the wallstreet journal
#3650 +(294)- [X]
(@watchy): hey io
(@watchy): i am gonna put up a ebay auction
(@watchy): i'm gonna auction my sperm
*** Quits: watchy (Excess Flood)
(@[IO]): or not
#3662 +(266)- [X]
<metroid23> all those dumb bots. they all sit around and make each other feel comfortable by confirming each others' decisions. it's like a big self-help group!
#3979 +(222)- [X]
(AngelGrl) unix sounds like lego.. am i right?
#4175 +(468)- [X]
<METHODZsz> WinME is a app you put on someone elses computer to play a joke on them into thinkin their computer is fucked
#4628 +(474)- [X]
* Smatters sets mode: +girlfriend -lan Element Element
*** Element is now known as You
* You are not an relationship operator. Cannot set mode (+girlfriend)
#7494 +(160)- [X]
<Chrizto> I had too much of this hot sauce last night called "scorned woman"
#8052 +(34)- [X]
<CactusJac> The only good thing the French gave the world was syphilis.
#8119 +(204)- [X]
<arturo> so i shouldn't knock watching gay sex in a fish tank till ive tried it?
#8496 +(366)- [X]
[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
#10499 +(341)- [X]
* go_boy getting his haujobb on
<jej> i read that as 'handjob'
<go_boy> i assumed you would
<jej> you can always count on me.
<go_boy> for a handjob?
<jej> of course.
#12318 +(6290)- [X]
* @Lan plays with his privates.
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat
#14431 +(246)- [X]
<antix> im bored
<antix> i think i might go mod my toilet
<Shady> what are you going to do? :S
<antix> i think i might add some little flashin lights so i can read the paper in the dark...
#16123 +(434)- [X]
<|3itch> MY WOULD BE SISTER WAS AN ABORTION I WISH SHE WASNT THOUGH
<Funk> I WAS an abortion. I'm just very stubborn.
<Fishfood> i was probably not wanted
<Funk> You're not wanted NOW
<Fishfood> but who cares! IM HERE NOW AND READY FOR LOVE!
<wildkarrdex> I live in the perpetual fear that my parents will abort me
#18126 +(276)- [X]
<Carlton>I see someone walking down the street wearing all black I think, "Probably has a favourite Linux distribution."
#18254 +(194)- [X]
<RtWhO> oh shit the shower hurt me......I got in turned the water on, the water pressure is amazing, well anyways it knocked me down....I hurt my ass bone
#31551 +(169)- [X]
<spacegirl> because i don't suck dick
<P-Rex> how do your mates keep you from talking during sex then, kellie?
#33748 +(30)- [X]
<@Pooka158> *** Topic is '!Newshows | !Rules'
#34169 +(280)- [X]
* Finn apologises for her rabbit like activity
<Finn> that could be read a few ways..I mean jumping about
#34324 +(73)- [X]
* Tak777 "Rams" DodgeGrl
(Tak777) are you built tough?
(DodgeGrl) I am delicate like a flower
(Mavrick69) 'built tough' is Ford, not Dodge.
#34951 +(177)- [X]
<Ud|AFK> red your so foreign it's amazing
<]KO[-RedWolf-|2-4|4-> k whats a foreign?
#37017 +(397)- [X]
<burrito> lol ya
<burrito> who the hell is burrito?
<burrito> oh shit
<veet|z0r> You suck :D
#39355 +(122)- [X]
<Ebanis>I love Sei's Wang!
<Tilus>i'm not using shqua's triggers until he changes them
<Ebanis>...That's a trigger?
#40833 +(291)- [X]
<Kuros> ya, but your in canada...
<Error_404> it's colder... but we get to fuck 14 year olds
<Error_404> so it evens out
#41726 +(234)- [X]
<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to best buy JUST to destroy the controller
<fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you around
<fuzzwad> STARING at you...
<fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE
<Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye?
<fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!!
#43996 +(676)- [X]
<Steph-Away> I'M AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER NOW
<IQpierce> ALL OF YOU NOW ACT AS FEMININE AS POSSIBLE
<IQpierce> maybe that will make up for there being no real chicks here
* Geno rubs his nipples
* Kevyn is listening to Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
#47557 +(152)- [X]
<demonrest> anyone know of a site that would be good to find out if there is a .net activation bypass?
<Jaykul> you're not asking for warez HERE, are you?
<Daemon> he already got the warez
<Daemon> he needs the crack
#48398 +(118)- [X]
<Ljung> does IRC take scripts?
#58527 +(520)- [X]
<Sirex> i should set the ping reply as a negative number
<Sirex> and tell people i'm from the future
#62467 +(1047)- [X]
<Qualjyn> AOL made a keyboard for their users, it looks like this:
<Qualjyn> ____ ____ ____
<Qualjyn> ||A |||S |||L ||
#64732 +(804)- [X]
[StrikeBot] 65. Who sought to create The Great Society?
[StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__
[Video] Lando Calrisian
[MinuS] lando calrisian
#65605 +(204)- [X]
<druid> orgies, are they like birthday parties?
<Deimos> what? the older you get the less fun they become?
<druid> Deimos: it's like some old couples try to spice up their dimming sex life with nudism
<druid> but end in a situation "can you please remove your saggy breast from my coffee
#73737 +(1828)- [X]
<korinne> cows would live a lot longer if they werent made out of steaks and leather
#80940 +(32)- [X]
<renegadellf> My anus is being saved for marriage.
<renegadellf> ......DAMNIT XD
<renegadellf> I mean, you know.
<renegadellf> After the wife gets tired of the......youknowwhatnevermind
<Torture> Do I smell... 'nasty games'? XD
#82148 +(158)- [X]
<manaani> Insy gave me a 30gb Hard drive
<panth`afk> how many times did you buttrape for that?
#96243 +(348)- [X]
<X> we women have this secret society
<X> if we say not to have sex with a guy
<X> then no one has sex with that guy
<X> u just got urself black-listed
<Dan> i think ive been blacklisted for a while
#101150 +(247)- [X]
<superghos> sometimes my dick gets so hot it feels like it's going to burn a hole through my mouth
#117696 +(418)- [X]
<ToiletDuc> I remember when I first came to the realization that I was a geek.... I came home from working on a router lab all day at school, picked up the phone, and dialed the IP address for Router C
#144922 +(879)- [X]
<@adsf> nz is good to go to if you from aus cus there dollar is actualy worse then ours
<*@orange1> that's because of all the civil unrest
<*@orange1> orks fighting the horse people and whatnot
#221937 +(604)- [X]
<jdm> i just accidently urinated on my face
<@Static> did you take a picture?
<jdm> let go of my wang to catch the toilet seat, it began to fall
<jdm> pissed all over the back of the toilet then it swung up and hit me in the face like a fire hose
#238276 +(732)- [X]
Dublyner: I was up in Winnepeg and some guy on the street asked me if I had two loonies for a toonie. I thought he was going to rape me or something.
#384101 +(199)- [X]
<linnie> Whats wrong Duncie?
<duncan> not much
<duncan> im reading is all
<linnie> Oh!!!! okay leave you to it!
<duncan> "I'm living in a country i hate with people i dont care about in a job im depressed about where the only thing that gives me pleasure is practising giving death to others in the most painful way possible"
<linnie> where is that from?
<linnie> I like that
<duncan> i just made that up
<duncan> its MY LIFE
#408273 +(379)- [X]
< pillBOX_w> "You can just grab both sides and twist - as you might twist a squirrel - and then eat the halves over the sink wildly while the juice runs down your arm." -- Tycho, on eating nectarines
< pillBOX_w> How would one go about twisting a squirrel?
< jer> pillBOX_w, one hand on body, one hand on head, move in opposite directions
< pillBOX_w> jer: I see you've lived in Arkansas before, or at least watched a show about their cuisine?
#548837 +(521)- [X]
<rhc> apparently it's rude if
<rhc> somebody asks if you have a light
<rhc> and you reply: "yes, but it's at the end of the tunnel"
#593954 +(538)- [X]
<MisT[w]> guy just walks in and asks me " i bought windows xp 64 and it only shows 16bit and 32bit color but no 64bit ..."
#669898 +(1487)- [X]
whatshisname: Why does the media insist on calling intelligent design an 'alternative' to the theory of evolution?
That's like saying pancakes are a good alternative to an internal combustion engine.
What units do you use for measuring Godliness?
whatshisname: I was thinking more along the lines of Jehovahwatts: "It took 47.3 Jehovahwatts to turn that water into wine"
MrNeutron: "Wha. . . what the hell is a Jehovahwatt"
Smallberries: About 103 Jews.
pwhp_67: Are Jehovawatts metric?
#670444 +(546)- [X]
<impl> If I were a cow and getting assraped, I wouldn't just be thinking
<crimsun> you'd be using emacs.
<crimsun> woops, ECHANNEL
<iank> That doesn't make sense, but it sounds like he's making fun of emacs so I like it.
#738918 +(2429)- [X]
<PhoenixBourne> Ok, so a friend of mine had an AWESOME idea at school
<PhoenixBourne> You know rohyphonol? (whatever the spelling is)
<linforcer> Is he gontna make a trebuchet
<PhoenixBourne> You know date rape drugs?
<PhoenixBourne> Right, rhyphonol is one of these. It knocks you asleep after an hour or two.
<PhoenixBourne> I should also mention, a side affect of rhyphonol is amnesia of events whilst under influence of the drug.
<PhoenixBourne> Now, a friend of mine had this idea:
1) Prepare ingredients
2) Take rhyphonol
3) Bake cake
4) Fall asleep
6) Wake up
7) CAKE?! CAKE! Where did this come from?!
<linforcer> SURPRISE CAKE!!!!!!
#745565 +(1604)- [X]
<zak> I once almost kissed a girl but then she woke up.. then i woke up
#808899 +(393)- [X]
<Xore> you know you have problems when...
<Xore> you write really really sexy code
<Xore> and you belatedly realize
<Xore> that your code is a whole heap sexier than you are