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#2049 +(763)- [X]

<Ferney> I think the clog is bonged
<Ferney> LOL
<Ferney> whoa...I think the BONG is CLOGGED

#2802 +(248)- [X]

<[_pitch_]> florida is shaped like a big droopy dick for a reason...

#5324 +(269)- [X]

<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam
<highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to delete
<highdrow> ;

#6461 +(291)- [X]

<Flik> my friend gave up masturbation for lent, and lost in an hour

#7153 +(1132)- [X]

<bumr> maybe he makes mad love to the penguin
<dys> Perhaps Cathy wears a Tux the Penguin suit for him.
<dys> And then he "debugs her code" all night long.
<bumr> cunnilinux

#8277 +(56)- [X]

(Moose_): what's your language of choice ?
(rich): english?

#8494 +(160)- [X]

<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all.  so i jumped out the window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off
<hakan> yipes
<rafeil> yeh
<helminthes> and that's how it all started
<helminthes> how was your day

#12937 +(288)- [X]

<Dayv> Eric, you wouldn't know bad taste if it came up behind you and licked your asshole with your mother's severed tongue.

#14207 +(10763)- [X]

<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

#16040 +(288)- [X]

<orion> i HATE
<orion> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<orion> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY

#16885 +(472)- [X]

< Tobester> I downloaded a file named JESSICA ALBA LESBIAN PORN SEEN DIVX at 12mb and it was a guy fisting himself

#17047 +(164)- [X]

<Amanda`> I need to find out whether my ISP supports modem bonding
<maff> that's plain desperation

#17894 +(235)- [X]

<Polaris[LovesChii]> Speaking of poke 4
<Polaris[LovesChii]> I wonder if anyone has some pokemon pr0n
<Polaris[LovesChii]> Like I said before.........Misty IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!
<Polaris[LovesChii]> Squirtle isn't too bad either

#22209 +(226)- [X]

<u-238> PARA FOR SHIT'S SAKE JUST LOOK AT MY ATOMIC MASS

#30264 +(287)- [X]

* Ricyn watches the wind knock someone over outside
<Jedah> don't ya love hurricanes?
* Ricyn checks weatherbug.
<Ricyn> 60mph gusts
<Jedah> this sounds like a fun time to parasail
<Ricyn> yeah, just run into the street and jump

#34026 +(397)- [X]

<hypo> taking it up the ass only hurts the first few times
<hypo> uh
<hypo> my friend told me that

#35754 +(190)- [X]

<usunoro> it's not small it's just more efficient

#36769 +(55)- [X]

<UN-REAL> ihel leyha id use http mirc hahaha
<UN-REAL> like idd iwhe ni worked at the ama
<@EzyRider> we need an interpreter in here for UN-REAL..
<@EzyRider> fucked if i can follow half of what he says
<@[[x]]> LOL
<@Bloody_D_Death> LOL

#36994 +(106)- [X]

<MidWay> Sounds like me writing a page that had the WinXP logout exploit..
<MidWay> Friend set it to his desktop before I'd added it (It did actually have content)
<MidWay> So the next time he logged in and it updated, boom, it logged him out.
<MidWay> Problem was, he only had the one account on the machine :P

#37572 +(200)- [X]

<Infomastr> i have the recrod for being the only person to make an ISO of ms calculator

#41201 +(121)- [X]

<mike||afk> does anyone here have princess tutu?
<Callick> ...
<Callick> I sure hope not.

#47716 +(85)- [X]

<@blkhawk^^> i dont cyber
<@blkhawk^^> its a waste of a wrist
<@Duce> are you saying you double-fist it?

#49669 +(329)- [X]

<Toby> can people stop useing the internet its getting slow for me

#50217 +(53)- [X]

<VerbalKint> my cousin lives in san francisco
<Rivorus> are you gay too?

#51005 +(164)- [X]

<MilitiaX> yo guys, anyone know a music irc server?
<dustin> if only goatse had an ircd with an ascii version in the motd

#51904 +(242)- [X]

<orion> i was like MAN CHECK OUT THIS HOTTIE
<orion> he's all SLOW DOWN SCROLLING MAN SHE'S FUCKING HOT
<orion> OH MAN SHE'S EXTREMELY HOT
<orion> he complimented her more than any other female i've ever heard him talking about
<orion> even models and shit
<orion> then BAM i went to the dick shot
<orion> "WHAT TEH FUCK I HATE YOU MAN THAT'S SO PHOTOSHOPPED"

#55170 +(103)- [X]

<KevinIsOwn> An IRC user having sex with someone hot?
<KevinIsOwn> What is the world coming to
<RX> good things kevin
<KevinIsOwn> Yes... VERY good things :D

#56371 +(142)- [X]

<Xpert887> youre gonna be a computer god one day and people around the world will come to you with their problems
<onesidedzer0> then i'll give them bullshit explanations and take their money
<Xpert887> ohh so youre gonna take after gateway?

#62507 +(299)- [X]

<PSX> my ex told me she was late one time.. i kept telling her "yea, its going to be ok babe" but in my head i was saying "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCCCCCCCK FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK!@#%"
<Skier> heh
<robs> psx: been there done that
<`Nemesis> they call "I'm pregnant, call me!" and then you fedex them a coathanger with a note that says "You know what to do.". They generally don't call back after that

#66224 +(66)- [X]

<deepcut> whats with it your ftp ad saying saying ftp.fpsarchive.com: ?
<deepcut> thats not even a registered domain name
<GamezAFK> I'm using Serv-U
<GamezAFK> I just made up a domain name
<deepcut> hahaha
<deepcut> and you expect that to work?
<deepcut> idiot
<GamezAFK> I thought the registration stuff was just for HTTP sites
<GamezAFK> so what I gotta pay to register it or something?
<deepcut> well duh

#88661 +(1171)- [X]

<jamz> hmm
<jamz> I have a bottle of waterless hand cleaner
<jamz> for car work and grease and stuff.
<jamz> It's almost empty.
<jamz> So, in order to stretch it out, I added some water to it.
<jamz> In retrospect, not the smartest thing to do.
<dan0_> this had better end with an explosion of some kind
<jamz> and there was a huge explosion that could be seen from space.

#98100 +(1603)- [X]

<AleX> i guess this channel must be a center of activity; when i not rarondn an;sc;ln vialmnv,ma v,xznm f dlJFSMSMMMSMMSM:HHHFRRF
<DerianX> Yes.
<AleX> sorry, i stopped caring halfway through that sentnece

#101988 +(357)- [X]

<Sage> but curiosity
<ChaosValentine> killed the cat
<Unicorn> technically the cat killed himself, curiosity just convinced it to
<gk> no way man
<gk> curiosity busted out a switch blade and slit that stupid pussy's throat

#105571 +(115)- [X]

[10:30] <nuna> I backed up a load of dot files on floppies, and an airline scanner screwed every one

#107442 +(904)- [X]

<randomguy99> What's a guy (like me) got to do to get +h or higher around here?
<PPN[fp]> send cash
<PPN[fp]> :D
<randomguy99> Can't I just sleep with someone?
<PPN[fp]> all the ops are male
* randomguy99 is now known as randomchick99
<randomchick99> not a problem

#114068 +(307)- [X]

<dj_enkie> im a good babysitter
<dj_enkie> the boy is older
<dj_enkie> e is like 8
<dj_enkie> and he will become me someday
<dj_enkie> i give him porn to not tell his parents that i drink their booze

#120095 +(3276)- [X]

<Naudiz> my IQ is high enough that I can do anything I want
<Naudiz> college means nothing
<netbsd_> What is this almighty IQ you have and what self-scoring IQ test gave you the idea you have it?
<Naudiz> I'm a Mensa member .. I allready mentioned this.
<netbsd_> So you're in the top two percent of the population?
<netbsd_> This is me being impressed.
<Naudiz> no actually ... only 1 in 50 people qualify to be in Mensa

#194647 +(2321)- [X]

<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> holy
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> fucking
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> what?
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> dudes
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> if any of you have rats in the house
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> WASH YOUR FUCKING WANK RAGS REGULARLY
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> ...
<[dSx]awpMAN> wtf?
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> you're kidding, right?
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> dude
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i am fucking serious
<[dSx]awpMAN> not all of us have wank rags, dumbass
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> so i had this wank rag i forgot about and left in a corner of the room under some shit right
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i find it today and it has FUCKING HOLES IN IT RIGHT AT THE STAINS
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> and there's RAT SHIT ALL OVER IT
<[dSx]tiMeCop> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
<[dSx]awpMAN> idiot, hahahahahahahaha
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> fuck
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> i'm going to have trouble sleeping now that i know that SOME FUCKING RAT IN MY HOUSE ATE MY SEMEN
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> dude
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> yea
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> i love you
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> i really do
<[dSx]h34dsh0t> but it would be a crime not to submit this to bash
<[dSx]kiLLmAsta> NO WAIT FUCK

#201941 +(195)- [X]

Infidel: I got a great idea for Southwest Airlines.  Disgusting lardass customers who refuse to purchase 2 seats can opt for the "treadmill" seat at the regular 1-seat price, and they have to jog the entire trip.
Void: i would just have them opt for the "chainsaw" instant weight loss program which your ticket counter clerk will be happy to help you with.

#226373 +(217)- [X]

<Fawn> OMG
<Fawn> I just found out that my little brother has the hots for the same actress I have the hots for
<AccordionGuy> ACTRESS SANDWICH

#395602 +(287)- [X]

<Kingsford> who is Psytrox?
<Turori> rejis's date
<Kingsford> an IRC date?
<Cockbill_Street> right
<Kingsford> you guys should go to #movies
<Kingsford> and then, out to #dinner
<Kingsford> and later, #backseatofthecar
<Rejistania> Are you implying that I should get a life?
<Cockbill_Street> you've found that out on your own. ;)

#396917 +(1104)- [X]

<Veni_Veni_Veni> and one of my friends (almost 18) fucked a 13 year old at the party
<Veni_Veni_Veni> Which i lollerskated about
<Joe_McCormick> >_<
<Joe_McCormick> did your mate enjoy it?
<Joe_McCormick> :P
<laser-kun> You had 13 year olds at your party?
<Veni_Veni_Veni> I had two - one of my friends little brother and his friend - but they act as if they're much older. It sounds incredibly strange but they're very cool.
<Joe_McCormick> wait was the friend a girl .......?
<Veni_Veni_Veni> Yes.
<Veni_Veni_Veni> The 13 year old was the male
* Joe_McCormick bows doen to the 13 year old kid

#445322 +(221)- [X]

<Auratus> I'm making fun of you because I can
<DeepSeaFishin> Well its thanksgiving
<DeepSeaFishin> and we should be giving thanks to each other
<Auratus> I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of you over the internet

#606922 +(276)- [X]

<ColdGhost> i was just sexually harassed by some old grandma
<ColdGhost> i was walkin into my office and some older woman like 60 who works in other office, well she was walkin with me and talking and i was like "sorry my voice is bad today, really rhaspy and low, not sure why" and shes like "well its sexy"
<posaway> i have 2 words for u
<posaway> "no teeth"

#675105 +(1005)- [X]

<kan> the nigerian government has orderd 1,000,000 of those "100 dollar laptops" for its people.
<kan> just what we need more nigerians sending email.

#754652 +(522)- [X]

<Flac> Ahh, IRC, Kind of like downloading porn on limewire, When you open it up, your never quite sure what your going to see, but odds are good that it will scar you for life.

#816907 +(920)- [X]

<steeg> "when there is grass on the field, play ball" my coach used to say
<steeg> he is in jail now, guess what for :)

#841171 +(219)- [X]

Laggyware has left (Quit: There are three types of software. Free as in speech (FOSS), Free as in beer (Freeware) and Free as in BitTorrent.)

#945401 +(732)- [X]

[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english

#962713 +(270)- [X]

<Mcme> Just got the last skiing of the season done
<Microshrimp> I am banned from skiing
<fear> Storytime?
<Mcme> How does one get banned from skiing?
<Microshrimp> after the last time I tried it.... couldn't figure out how to stop and I was headed toward about 10 people who were standing in a circle talking.  It was like human bowling.

0.1017 21077 quotes approved; 398 quotes pending
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