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#217 +(1009)- [X]

<Amanda`> while(every_girl_except_me == idiot)
<Amanda`> cout << "INFINITE LOOP OF H8" << endl;

#1155 +(216)- [X]

<|Chris> that geek issues logo looks like you're advertising a soft rock radio station

#3893 +(608)- [X]

<elliptic> does any1 else name their member set/get functions with "Please" in the end?

#4745 +(1056)- [X]

<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes

#5718 +(342)- [X]

[OutLore  ] OMFG
[Lord-Data] OutLore: OYFG!

#6834 +(287)- [X]

<angst> someone off campus was looking at my penis.
<angst> i think i spend too much time analyzing people's actions in my webserver's logs

#7748 +(1037)- [X]

< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "{" named.conf.newer | wc -l
< nutbar>   19314
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "}" named.conf.newer | wc -l
< nutbar>   19313
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind]
< nutbar> great
* nutbar fumes
< nutbar> one fucking missing }

#8431 +(746)- [X]

<DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos were candy
<buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them?
<DjShoryu> no, hes an artist
<DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it

#8845 +(404)- [X]

<Fetch#acknak> 19 apache processes
<Fetch#acknak> I think maybe your mail server has a problem ;)
<karlitoX#acknak> are those forked or threaded
<Fetch#acknak> karlitoX: does it matter? its a mail server ;)
<karlitoX#acknak> it's a mail server with aspirations!  do not stifle it's creativity

#8888 +(220)- [X]

<tirloni> drolp, I was going to get a XP1900+, then a bill suddenly got in my table. Then I moved to a XP1500. Another bill, Duron. By the end of the month Iwas looking at the prices of a p133mmx
<aq> pharcyde: are you running a window manager?
<tirloni> now I'm happy with my calculator

#10772 +(62)- [X]

<CiaAgent> if worldcom goes under they will have to close the internet

#11115 +(98)- [X]

<@brosie    > you know what sucks
<@brosie    > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie    > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie    > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie    > and you get gangrene
<@brosie    > in your nuts

#11173 +(357)- [X]

<tek231> you guys hear about that lady who layed down on some subway tracks, then the train hit her
<tek231> she sued and won 10 million
<Mysteri0> tek231: The train hit her and she's not a blood sprinkler?
<Cap0ne_> did she lose any body parts?
<pac> Damn.
<tek231> I'm not sure, just caught the end of the story
<tek231> on tv, let me see if I can find it
<Knighted> tek231: You hear about that guy who tried to convey news on irc without a url?

#17452 +(293)- [X]

<emp|whiskey> icq??? who still uses that?
<jud_> pervs
<zapp> i do
<zapp> oops
<zapp> oh damn.

#18154 +(32)- [X]

<Aquanda> that would be cool if we were both whacking off at the same time to natalie portman

#21999 +(1004)- [X]

(Ebony) There is a cat sitting on my foot.
(IDK) You kids and your jive talk.

#22686 +(170)- [X]

<@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor and dont share any files on any p2p networks
<@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3 just like you dont want   to wait an hour to upload it so lets cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place

#23011 +(247)- [X]

<haole-writing> did you ever read my story, vampress?
<Vampress> I'm sorry I didn't get a chance yet
<Vampress> it's sitting on my nightstand
<Vampress> staring at me everyday
<Ragnarok> haole must have put a lot of himself in that story

#23322 +(141)- [X]

<b22022> everyone that goes to public pools pees in them, its an animal instinct to leave your scent.

#23472 +(56)- [X]

<D1> theres no reason for me to smell good anymore.
<D1> so I tend to stick with the rancid odor since I don't have to impress anyone.

#35754 +(190)- [X]

<usunoro> it's not small it's just more efficient

#37757 +(432)- [X]

<McGod> and the lord said... let there be fries with that... and they tasted good

#40233 +(152)- [X]

<Pigs> so our network guy is a cock smoker
<Joes_meat> I so wanna be one of those.

#44851 +(169)- [X]

<Nope> I wonder if IRCops know what a wingate is?
*** Quits: Nope (Nope@sju-12-16-46-200.prw.net) (Killed (OperServ))

#48621 +(950)- [X]

<DarkSpork> rock
<Mal> scissors
<Mal> ...
<Mal> DAMN!

#48798 +(254)- [X]

* CoolNo9 was in a room with 15 dba's and 1 coldfusion developer
<CoolNo9> guess which one I was :)
<ConqSoft> CoolNo9:  The gay one?

#51899 +(350)- [X]

<Cow> the night is young! so young that If I were to have sex with it, it wouldn't know what I was doing, would be scarred for life and develop multiple personality disorder to evade the shock!
<Cow> ....
<Cow> ...
<Cow> seriously.

#52969 +(187)- [X]

* @[b]elitE is away, bored [Pants:OFF] [Hands:ON]

#57933 +(189)- [X]

<SantaClaus> Santa on @#gaysouthcoast
<SantaClaus> spreading white christmas in all the wrong places

#58815 +(82)- [X]

<NateDog> HH, I'd accept a blowjob from anyone as long as they didn't have herpes or some other mouth disease
<`Syntax> Nate would accept a blowjob from *!*@*

#75078 +(127)- [X]

<Zak-> Girls are like gaming pings. Unless you're in control of the server, expect lag and bad gameplay.

#76151 +(2)- [X]

-!- xINSANEx [ludacris@ilmtps27.shawneelink.net] has joined #php
< xINSANEx> Can someone please go to my website and test the counter?
< xINSANEx> i need to make sure its working properly.. i just fixed the php code
< Inominate> xINSANEx: No i cant
< Inominate> I'd like to but am unable to
< horros> Inominate: me neither.
< horros> i really have the urge to check out your counter, xINSANEx, but i'm not able to.
< xINSANEx> heh.. oh well no biggy
< Inominate> lol
< xINSANEx> i hate to bother fuckos like you
-!- xINSANEx [ludacris@ilmtps27.shawneelink.net] has left #php []
< horros> hahahaha
< Inominate> hahahahahahahah
< Inominate> ROFL

#80480 +(21)- [X]

<I_kick_fish> a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his fly the bartender asks "do you know a steering wheel is coming out of your fly?" the pirate says "yes and its driving me nuts!"

#82061 +(211)- [X]

<E|S-Darch> It's disturbing how many people in here know what the word bukkake means...
<Hoffmann> whats a "bukkake"?
<E|S-Darch> its when like 15 guys decide to blow a load on a girl's face
<Hoffmann> hrmm let me guess, u exprimented with it on your little brother?
<E|S-Darch> wtf
<E|S-Darch> i fucking hate you
<Hoffmann> no dude see thats funnie
<Hoffmann> ur suppose to say lol..its not like its true
<Hoffmann> ...or is it?

#98450 +(7892)- [X]

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

#177873 +(125)- [X]

<cochese04> I find it incredibly amusing how my parents refer to transmission fluid as "tranny fluid".

#193342 +(35)- [X]

<Godsey> I have a great idea for a porn movie
<Godsey> Humping Dumpty
<_megan_> we had a 70 year old man fixing our huge fence while you sat your ass and watched him
<Godsey> all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't satisfy Dumpty again
<mannyh> haha

#203024 +(566)- [X]

<j0n> Let me tell you about the first time I ever made love to a girl. We were out in a little meadow/park kind of thing, and we laid down on the blanket, and afterwards we both just lay there staying into each other's eyes. Neither of us said anything, it was kind of creeping me out. Then finally she looks to me and she says, "Baaaaaaa."

#243374 +(1404)- [X]

<Pablissimo> You wish that your customer part know more thing on the others players or on your very new entity faggot of data? Are the server->client messages to you of aucuns help (too much heavy to manage since all the customers must have access to these values with each frame)? You feel that the file delta.lst could be useful but include/understand you nothing there?
<Pablissimo> can someome make that make sense in english, babelfish is clearly underperforming here
<Pablissimo> for instance, the word 'faggot' was a surprise

#302416 +(1156)- [X]

<@Methical> did anyone else hear about the new dual-proc board for low-end AMD processors? it's optimized for playing 80's mp3's.
<@Methical> They call it the Duron-Duron.

#375160 +(347)- [X]

<Syko>Anyway, I'm gonna play some Simpsons :P
* Syko is now known as Syko-ShitnRun
<Syko-ShitnRun> oh shit
* Syko-ShitnRun is now known as Syko-HitnRun

#375228 +(205)- [X]

<Darric> Ok, so this guy's playing golf with a priest.
<Darric> And he's really bad, so every time after one bad putt after another, he's like "FUCK I MISSED THE FUCKING HOLE"
<[PervertedMonk]> k
<[PervertedMonk]> ...
<Darric> Next hole... swing... putt... "FUCK I MISSED"
<Darric> And the priest becomes a little unnerved
<[PervertedMonk]> obviously
<Darric> So he says "You really shouldn't keep saying that, or the Lord may well strike you down"
<Darric> Next hole: Swing... putt... "FUCK I MISSED!"
<Darric> And then there's a rumbling in the clouds, and a lightning bolt strikes the priest dead
<Darric> And a voice overhead... "FUCK I MISSED"

#395648 +(218)- [X]

IAmOsomo4000: now who is stupid or non intellegeint now

#471449 +(2151)- [X]

<ppg> if guns kill people
<ppg> then pencils misspell words
<ppg> and cars make people drive drunk
<ppg> and spoons made rosie o'donnell fat

#475920 +(1743)- [X]

<Kira> Tuesday was Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address.  As Air America Radio pointed out, it is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication and the other involves a groundhog.

#598333 +(1669)- [X]

<Rift> i ditch girls for video games all the time
<@monk-work> toggling between your porn window and your gaming window does not qualify as "ditching girls for video games"

#699884 +(45)- [X]

ScottDoom1944: I have had several customers inquiring about the Wii, but none had inquired about the 360 previously and none have inquired about the PS3.
h0ckeygod: That's because you work at Toys R Us.

#700435 +(1513)- [X]

<starmantaav> so i just realized yesterday
<starmantaav> i work at a mongolian bbq
<starmantaav> next door to a chinese restaurant
<starmantaav> shouldn't we have a bigass wall between us?

#857578 +(2080)- [X]

<jess> So whats the difference between the mormons and the muslims??
<jess> The mormons want their 72 virgins now

#865776 +(703)- [X]

<^Migs^> the way I see it, if a school district is going to block something that's useful for educational, they need to provide an alternative
<^Migs^> e.g., if you block YouTube, host your own media sharing site.
<^Migs^> if you block Myspace or Facebook, host your own social network
<^Migs^> etc.
<tensai> if you block porn, host your own naked pictures

0.0607 21085 quotes approved; 502 quotes pending
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