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#1078 +(649)- [X]

(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box

#1567 +(563)- [X]

<ckx> i wish i had a gf who was into really cheap things
<ckx> like 5 cent rings from vending machines
<ckx> then i'd be in heaven
<ckx> "yah i got you something today... it's a gumball"
<ckx> "OH WOW LETS FUCK"
<ckx> stupid women
<mdl> haha

#6134 +(875)- [X]

<lsd> my win2k box is being a bitch
<HrdwrBoB> that's the default setting
<HrdwrBoB> you have to edit the registry

#6247 +(427)- [X]

<chemical-burn> I just had a bowl of clam chowder explode all over my face and chest, now I know how a girl feels when she gives head.

#7751 +(327)- [X]

<X3M`Dodo> |TazHoliO| : If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?

#7761 +(139)- [X]

<booger> my two best friends laid off on the same day
<faz`work> your left and right hand on the same day?!

#8067 +(298)- [X]

<Embercide> i was doing 3 things at once, went to take the smoke out and it must have stuck to my lip and flipped up
<Embercide> i must have just closed my eye in time cause the eye itself isnt damaged
<Avatar> who'd've thought a cigarette could be so dangerous?
<Scourge> Not only do they cause numerous cancers and other lung problems but they can also burn your eyes.

#8083 +(244)- [X]

<DilleMMa> im off to maccas now
<DilleMMa> any requests?:)
<Nelyx> some motivation with a side order of dignity
<DilleMMa> and a large compassion
<Nelyx> and no, i would not like fries with that
<DilleMMa> i should get myself a "medium why do i even bother"
<DilleMMa> toodles
<Nelyx> they stopped serving those last year

#8106 +(486)- [X]

<flee> for some reason it never occurred to me until now how odd it is for elmer fudd to be singing about his "spear and magic helmet" while bugs cross-dresses.
<6> I know, it makes so much sense until the cross dressing
<midi> you can say that about lots of things.

#9269 +(568)- [X]

<Brando457> wait NJ is east coast right
<PizzaMind> ...
<PizzaMind> dont you live in NJ?
<BRando457> yea

#10983 +(198)- [X]

<outlaws> that's so gay
<joyrekz> speaking of gay
<joyrekz> i watched the gay pride parade on tv just to see some lesbians, is that wrong of me?
<outlaws> nope

#11625 +(718)- [X]

<GodofDeath> Do you people think that racism is funny or something?
<GodofDeath> You are so dense because you are naive to what it's like to have racism effect you.
<slick> I'm aware of it when a black person assume I have it good because I'm white, and that nothing bad happens to me because I'm white. WHITE PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
<Alice> How dare you say I don't know what it's like to be a victim of racism, I was walking down the street yesterday when a blackie bumped into me. I had to run home instantly and wash. Don't fucking talk to me about being a victim.

#11660 +(3)- [X]

<KrazyKrow> Mother Russia is for sale, she is being raped by western capitalists

#16544 +(58)- [X]

<Cole`> I think there might have been a guy at my ptq who crapped his pants. During round 5 I had a bunch of people watching my match and all of a sudden I caught the scent of crap. I yelled out "Who in God's name shit their pants?!" A few people laughed, but I didn't catch the shitter. So round 6 I am playing this guy and he smelled...like shit. I did in fact recall him saying he wanted to go home and take a bath. I felt really horrible for this.

#16868 +(44)- [X]

<Valkyrie> no, but Westlife is fake
<Valkyrie> Flying without wings?
<Valkyrie> PUHLEAZE
<Valkyrie> more like getting high on KFC

#20924 +(293)- [X]

<Chebarak> dude where you live?
<Ildefonse> i live in the netherlands
<Chebarak> right
<Chebarak> so where you live ?

#21722 +(444)- [X]

<@GameBot> 186. Why is the sky blue?
<Anima-> prism
<@GameBot> Here's a hint: The colour wavel***** ** **** ** ******* **** *** ***** *******
<Anima-> :(
<Anima-> haha
<infinitySPZ> ..........
<Serimestari> yyyyyeah.......
<infinitySPZ> This is why some questions shouldn't get into trivia

#22204 +(142)- [X]

* supreemballs listens to (#69): Richard Simmons & Little Richard - Together Forever.

#32981 +(186)- [X]

<Adonai> but the sex toy shop guy might think i'm crazy buying like 15 dildos
<Alyssa^eating> wth...
<Alyssa^eating> I just get back and I see that
<Adonai> so what's the lesson you learned today Alyssa?
<Alyssa^eating> I'm not sure
<Adonai> don't come back to IRC ;oD

#33636 +(6)- [X]

<Doys`> cats r mean
<Doys`> they can take ur leg off
<^badboy^> lol
<Doys`> i got attacked by one the other day
<Face> u must know some big cats (or u have small legs)

#34289 +(164)- [X]

<E-vangelist> I just realized I've been running my laptop all day with drugs all in the pcmcia and memory slots

#34531 +(189)- [X]

<nxn> best thing to do while high is wank
<nxn> best thing to do any time is wank
<nxn> actually not when you catch your mom masterbating... but close to any time

#37829 +(349)- [X]

<Ash> look: I like python pretty well, but the syntax is kind of annoying.
<AaronSw> this from a lisp programmer?!
<Ash> AaronSw: One type of brace is much simpler than a bazillion!
<AaronSw> to write perhaps, but not to rfead
<Ash> Lisp's syntax is simple and efficient.
<Ash> With a proper editor, lisp is incredibly easy to read.
<look> OK, let's pretend we got past the syntax argument
<look> It's now 45 minutes in the future
<look> and we've agreed to disagree
<look> Hurray!
<AaronSw> I bet look's time machine is programmed in Python. <duck />

#38645 +(197)- [X]

<KamiNoBaka> like a version, wooo, ctcp'd for the very first time

#39186 +(531)- [X]

<Purelimit> Fuck man we hear about all these terrorists nowadays
<SgtPayne> Yeah but most came here legally staying after their visas expired
<Purelimit> Are u fucking serious
<SgtPayne> Yeah compare that too blockbuster if your 3 days late their people are all over you
<Purelimit> yeah lets put blockbuster in charge of immagration
<SgtPayne> rofl

#47326 +(206)- [X]

<Ranzer> Mish``: btw what kinda connection you on? i dont wanna be laggin you too much ;]
<Torka> Mish`` is Mish_@andover.net * Mish
<Ranzer> and..?
<Ranzer> i dont even know what andover.net is
<paradon> Ranzer: andover.net is the "big evil corporate" that owns slashdot, sourceforge, newsforge, freshmeat, etc, iirc.
<Ranzer> paradon: ah, so it has more bandwidth than god?
<tristan_> pretty much :>

#48197 +(413)- [X]

(Rjx)[+] #1 cool thing about IRC
(Rjx)[+] no-one knows if you're naked

#49262 +(375)- [X]

<SO|Rancor> go use one of them stupid translators
<SO|Rancor> i used one once for spanish class...............and the teacher almost got me kicked out of school for accidentally saying your a fat old man who loves cock
<SO|Rancor> but the sentence in english was the man owned some chickens:-/

#55930 +(69)- [X]

<DSmooth> u guys see Moby got beat up in Boston?
<DSmooth> i guess now if you are a superfan of an artist
<DSmooth> you stalk them
<DSmooth> then beat them up
<DSmooth> to show respect

#58505 +(425)- [X]

<StillAway> omg i got spam saying 'someone at work likes you'. they really dont target this shit well do they, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB

#64123 +(249)- [X]

<filefly> and she asked me "should i be worried?" i said "no, you wanna know what i think?"
<filefly> so i told her
<filefly> "...and the prospect of finding her perfect educational institution threatens to overwhelm her tiny brain"
<filefly> which normally would've made her laugh
<filefly> had i not left the letters "i" and "n" off of "brain"
* filefly bashes head on desk repeatedly

#70450 +(424)- [X]

<Mayonaise> i wonder if the guy from police academy that makes noises can mimic a 56k modem handshake and complete a connection to a computer

#81382 +(1258)- [X]

Rimbaud: oh my god
Rimbaud: do you have half a minute?
tlaryko: yes. what?
Rimbaud: I just opened a package for the office
Rimbaud: addressed to ________(1)
Rimbaud: I thought it was toner
Rimbaud: :/
Rimbaud: HARDCORE DVD GAY PORN
tlaryko: ?!?!?!?!?!?! :-))
Rimbaud: He's not here, thank god
Rimbaud: We're all pissing ourselves laughing
Rimbaud: I taped it back up
tlaryko: poor puggy!
Rimbaud: Seriously grim front cover too
Rimbaud: I'm disturbed
tlaryko: can i tell my sister? this is too funny
Rimbaud: sure
tlaryko: oh I had a mighty good chuckle.
Rimbaud: _______(2) was barely surprised
Rimbaud: Although she's still laughing hysterically
Rimbaud: Apparently my reaction was funny
tlaryko: what was your reaction?
Rimbaud: Before I had finished opening it, I made some comment about it probably being gay porn for _________(1)
Rimbaud: Then it was
Rimbaud: And I sort of screamed in fright
tlaryko: hehehehehehehehe

#81848 +(226)- [X]

<prof_barney> hey ryan, whats up dude?
<necrophiliac> nuthin
<sw33t_girl> you guys know eachother?
<necrophiliac> yeah he's my sister
<prof_barney> no we dont know eachother we just fuck...

#84711 +(105)- [X]

<@Chimerasame> pancake bukkake :9
<@Chimerasame> it's just syrup from a bunch of aunt jemima bottles

#84788 +(9)- [X]

<@Kiddy_C> \:=|
<@Kiddy_C> ^ hitlet

#89254 +(32)- [X]

* edhel_espyn does not know about computer types/names/models, whatever. just knows that if box has a keyboard, brain automatically registers to senses and say "com-pyoo-ter" ;-P

#126443 +(518)- [X]

<AaronsGurl> Um  If Your Aaron Carter MSG Me And Chat Wit Me!
<the|navigator> That's pretty sad.

#131727 +(182)- [X]

<indigo> redhat has become a thing of its own, apart from linux
<indigo> it's the entropy of linux combined with the uselessness of a corporate product

#137313 +(227)- [X]

<Joe> reich as in shut the fuck up, you're a fag
<Reich> OOh
<Reich> coming from a guy who had cyber-sex witha guy
<Sabdo> ...
<Sabdo> wtf do you think the internet is FOR?

#211403 +(613)- [X]

<Moonpie> one time
<Moonpie> this kid was talking about how hitler only had one nut
<Moonpie> and i said 'poor hitler' and got kicked out of the class

#329373 +(1103)- [X]

<mixi_dk> Im such a perfectist
<mixi_dk> *pefettionist
<mixi_dk> *perfectonst
<mixi_dk> God dammit!
<mixi_dk> perfrecsist
<mixi_dk> OKAY! I give up!
<MikeClassic> Why? perfectionist is easy to spell..?
<mixi_dk> How did you do that?!

#546198 +(1073)- [X]

<hammergunner>  i want to see a big red button one day that read "push here to understand women"
<cccnnn> hammer: yeah that's the withdraw cash button on the ATM machine.

#680487 +(506)- [X]

<wicked> They are playing multiplayer in GTA SA
***FatCat has joined the room (#hih)
<wicked> my brother is a stripper and his tits are hanging out
<FatCat> older or younger?

#707689 +(326)- [X]

<Albides> I was insane before I used the internet... I was confused after I used it. Then horrified as I found out about things like dolphin sex and furries.

#713158 +(956)- [X]

A> I lost my virginity around 5 years ago.
Rice> Virgin by choice
Random> heh
Pork> Whose choice Rice?

#775834 +(30)- [X]

<[Chris]> oh yeah baby, concatenate those strings... do it just like that
<neura> I'd think you'd want to insert, not concatenate...
<[Chris]> now you're just being nasty
<neura> no, nasty is noting that you'd wanna be real careful with chop and split :x
<[Chris]> as long as we aren't getting into a strlen fight

#857335 +(2352)- [X]

#877429 +(596)- [X]

<Shift_Wreck> corenominal,  ever seen this quote? "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
<corenominal> Shift_Wreck: I think I may have seen that once or twice :)
<Shift_Wreck> I have it tattoo'd across my forehead.
<Shift_Wreck> im thinking of having it removed.

#930885 +(2753)- [X]

<@whm> "A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The  doctors described his condition as stable."

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