QDB Admin Random >0 Quotes
Paypal Donate

#1077 +(274)- [X]

(frOsty-) s|urpee: holy shit, i just stopped caring about this thread of conversation

#3388 +(613)- [X]

<Ponder> He found a better job, got a new gf.
<Ponder> All because he stopped smoking
<tragic> i need to start smoking, so then i can quit and all sorta good shit will happen to me

#4414 +(438)- [X]

<SLP> I request that you allow me back in the chatroom because you have violated mIRC32 rules by kicking me out
<SLP> if you do not allow me back in the chatroom i will have an order saying that you never be allowed to use this chat program

#6151 +(378)- [X]

<demalavor> do you want larger firmer breasts?
<IceBurner> No, I prefer my broad, flat manboobs

#9136 +(182)- [X]

<Odin_Tiger> Even those maps that the psychics show of the earth flooded (the ones where science says there isn't enough water on earth for it to be possible) would have me a good 4 or 5 hour drive from any beaches.

#11098 +(207)- [X]

<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175

#11648 +(50)- [X]

<Homer> Hydrac7: $400 Cdn or less now, get a job for like two weeks
<Hydrac7> How much is that in USD?
<Homer> like $12

#12111 +(214)- [X]

< Ammon > i rememeber that dare where i had to stick that tampon in my ass. it hurt for a minute but then i got aroused

#13524 +(2422)- [X]

<TunnelArmr> Cool! I finally found the Womrs 2 demo
<TunnelArmr> I mean Womrs 2
<TunnelArmr> I mean Wrms 2
<TunnelArmr> Worm 2 even
<TunnelArmr> GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!
<ThePython> having trouble saying wrmos Tunnel?
<ThePython> i mean wmros
<ThePython> i mean mrwos
<ThePython> GOD DAMNIT!

#15125 +(274)- [X]

<Andre> short girls with glasses and flannel jammies are cute.
<The_Frymaster> You just described Jonathan Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire.
<The_Frymaster> You pervert.

#17874 +(320)- [X]

insectouch: oh, i hought the whole cancer thing was just something you made up so you didnt have to go out with me tonight

#20433 +(208)- [X]

<Horus-23m> Hello. I am a 23 year old male, with a biology degree. I'm currently involved in the construction industry and will be getting involved in supervision, as well as running jobs which will earn me a lot of money. I'm athletic, strong, intelligent, and fairly good looking. Why do you care? Well most of you won't and will just mock this, but one of you might, and that one, can message me..

#20696 +(729)- [X]

<Rasix> I like tits and I don't want anything rammed up my ass nor do I want a cock in my mouth. I'd say that makes me hetero.
<Rodent> Heh.
<SirBruce> Honesty is the best policy
<SirBruce> Rasix - What about your cock in someone else's mouth?
<NephKa> jesus
<Rodent> Well, I for one don't belive Bi is the natural state.
<Rasix> Female, yes, man no.
<@Technogeek> Hey, if I'm getting a blowjob, I don't care who it's from as long as they don't bite it off.
<SirBruce> But blindfolded you wouldn't know the difference
<NephKa> i care, it has to be a chick
<Rodent> Unless you felt a beard by the balls.
<NephKa> lol
<SirBruce> Only because you've been trained that way by society.
<Rasix> that's not an issue, when the fuck would I stand around blind folded waiting for a blowjob

#21781 +(466)- [X]

<worldspawn> <-- so gay
<worldspawn> FUCK
<worldspawn> wait

#23276 +(344)- [X]

<joelage-AFKage> does anyone have the "saftey regulations" on standards of building and designing speakers?
<joelage-AFKage> i know it sounds stupid but we need it
<joelage-AFKage> :/
<Silent_Remorse> Yeah, its in my "Useless Crap" folder
<joelage-AFKage> ok
<Silent_Remorse> Let me just go dig it out.
<joelage-AFKage> send away
* Silent_Remorse hits joelage-AFKage on the head with sarcasm's little brother, idiocy

#35754 +(187)- [X]

<usunoro> it's not small it's just more efficient

#36438 +(36)- [X]

<Rambozo> I remember housesitting once. I totally abused the privileges, I ate all the good stuff, used their jacuzzi as a bath, and watch the spice channel every day
<Volt9000> you should have left a little "surprise" in their fridge
<Streak> "mmm honey this meatloaf is good, i like how you put corn in it!" "i didnt make meatloaf"

#38438 +(41)- [X]

<@McMoo> sometimes i jerk it at work because we've got the super heavy duty industrial soap

#41726 +(225)- [X]

<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to best buy JUST to destroy the controller
<fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you around
<fuzzwad> STARING at you...
<fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE
<Lazz> wow
<Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye?
<fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!!

#44537 +(167)- [X]

<xcabbage> C++ takes forever to compile
<richardt> xcabbage: you are referring to C++'s built-in coffee-refill time
<richardt> it's a feature.
<richardt> with C, there's no time.

#46130 +(182)- [X]

<Para> OH BOY!
<Para> i just won a free disney world vacation
<Para> all I need to do is pay $99 per person, and buy the plane tickets
<Para> wow, what a deal
<Para> damn telemarketers

#47595 +(298)- [X]

<Kyou|awaying> omfg i almost had a heart attack
<Kyou|awaying> I FUCKING HATE STUPID ADS WITH SOUND >_<
<HKR|Paper> LOL
<HKR|Paper> Especially if it's a pr0n add, and your speakers are cranked and your parents are in the room next door
<Kyou|awaying> my speakers are always cranked =
<HKR|Paper> They suddenly hear "AH AH AH!"
<HKR|Paper> "WTF IS THAT?!" they yell
<HKR|Paper> Uh...my brothers rap cd's.

#50348 +(333)- [X]

* bitch has joined #lobby
<bitch> hey
<son_of_evil> hi *****
<Nehaal> hi *****
<Falkner|AWAY> hi *****

#53338 +(333)- [X]

<AL9000> hehe, I called up one of my female friends today while I was naked
<AL9000> I was actually slapping it around to see if she'd ask what that noise was

#57925 +(220)- [X]

<Slime> Smearing your weiner in dog food and going over to Rex does not count as losing your virginity
<Slime> Trust me, I should know
<Slime> You should have seen the faces at the hospital when I asked where the "Ward for People Who Have Had Their Penises Chewed On By Dogs"

#59685 +(267)- [X]

<Viper550esp> heh hell, you have no idea what hell is! Try standing inbetween two large fat women at a manson concert who decided just to wear the bare minimum to get it in concert.    Oh thats nothing, they decided that it would be fun to start a mash pit. I kid you not those two women took out 7 people with one massive shove
<Jaytda4th> omg that is hell! A manson concert.. im so sorry.

#60114 +(539)- [X]

<KBC> brb, i think i heard a girl say "desperate" about 3 miles away

#81908 +(45)- [X]

<Henk> oh, what program did you use for "photoshop barnaby"?
<Henk> is it adobe photoshop?

#82060 +(124)- [X]

<@A-Patriot-Missile> im gonna blow you.... up
* marley is now known as A-Scud-Missile
<+A-Scud-Missile> no
* A-Scud-Missile was kicked by A-Patriot-Missile (DESTROYED!!!)

#95090 +(361)- [X]

(mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
(mattwindu) while she was home alon
(mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to blockbuster
(mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
(mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing

#100413 +(284)- [X]

<klafka4> i actually am sick
<klafka4> i think it's allergy
<AlbinoSqrl> to real life?
<klafka4> what? real life is great i've got my fantasy and scifi books, my anime, my tv!

#105168 +(175)- [X]

<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that

#105289 +(245)- [X]

<involution> yeah, my code is so fucking clean, and looks wicked good
<involution> but usually never works
<archimedes> same here

#122512 +(709)- [X]

<stumpy> I saw my cousin naked one day, got some good use out of that later that night.
<momar> Fer god's sake man!
<momar> That's like eating peanut butter with a fork. It can work, it just ain't right.

#125728 +(1976)- [X]

<Shempo> ...do I have to set the drive to like...master..slave..blahblahblahb...o.O
<ShadowRage> slave
<ShadowRage> look at the jumpers on it
<ShadowRage> there will either be an M or an S, or just mater or slave
<ShadowRage> pop the jumpter on slave
<ShadowRage> jumper*
<ShadowRage> if it's the primary hd, then master
<Shempo> Well...Rawr..
<Shempo> I plugged the bitch im
<Shempo> in8
<Shempo> in*
<Shempo> it rawred at me
<Shempo> CLIIIKC CLICKCLIIICCK
<Shempo> ..now what?
<ShadowRage> access the bios
<ShadowRage> (either escape, f1 or delete when your computer first powers on)
<Shempo> yea..
<Shempo> and?
<ShadowRage> what kinda BIOS do you have?
<Shempo> dunno
<ShadowRage> this is on an older machine?
<Shempo> 1 year
<ShadowRage> hmmm
<ShadowRage> ok, are you in the bios?
<Shempo> ..no
<Shempo> That'd require restarting.
<ShadowRage> ... you added this HD with the computer on?!
<Shempo> >.>
<Shempo> <.<
<Shempo> :D
<ShadowRage> ..on your current machine?
<ShadowRage> right now?
<Shempo> o.o
<ShadowRage> .....................................................
<Shempo> Run?
<ShadowRage> lowkey: give me the learnin' stick.
<Shempo> ...
<Shempo> :(
<Shempo> The 2x4?
* ShadowRage smacks Shempo with a 2 by 4
<Shempo> :(
<Shempo> Yea...dumb mistake..
<ShadowRage> ....you seriously plugged it in with the machine ON?!
<Shempo> Possibly harmful?
<ShadowRage> ......
<ShadowRage> yes
<ShadowRage> very
<Shempo> o.o
<ShadowRage> ..it's a surprise your computer didnt explode and kill you in the process.

#138441 +(41)- [X]

<{SCF}|l||l||ll|> I AM SCF BARCODE

#152727 +(610)- [X]

Steve: so, why don't you just have anal sex with your ex?
Felix: I... can't afford that much lube?
Felix: I don't like making girls cry?
Felix: I don't like washing bloody sheets?
Felix: I couldn't deal with someone shitting on my dick.
Steve: well, technically..
Steve: they're not shitting your dick, you're dicking their shit.

#215254 +(620)- [X]

<xtal> Uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh?
<Mazca> stop masturbating quizzically.

#239571 +(444)- [X]

<RuleR-> jesus christ, i farted so loud my dog ran away from my room

#240059 +(272)- [X]

<Doh_> programming is the act of creating a computer program
<Doh_> not of copying and pasting other peoples code
<Doh_> not to mention on the grand scheme of things, youre program is about as complex as the little clicky thing on the end of some pens

#243438 +(677)- [X]

--> Rocksteady (Rocksteady@unerror-loony-1F0134CC.dorm.depaul.edu) has joined #lobby
<Rocksteady> quick i need a funny way to wake up a roomate that doesn't involve sex or feces

#450693 +(2032)- [X]

Impure Mathematics
------ -----------
     To prove once and for all that math can be fun, we
present: Wherein it is related how that paragon of womanly
virtue, young Polly Nomial (our heroine) is accosted by that
notorious villain Curly Pi, and factored (oh horror!!!)
     Once upon a time (1/t) pretty little Polly Nomial was
strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the boundary
of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent, and her
mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never
enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however,
who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling
particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the basis
that it was insufficient and made her way in amongst the complex
elements. Rows and columns closed in on her from all sides.
Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor.
Quite suddendly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a
single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of
directrix, and went completely divergent. As she tripped over a
square root that was protruding from the erf and plunged
headlong down a steep gradient. When she rounded off once more,
she found herself inverted, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean
space.
     She was being watched, however. That smooth operator,
Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her
curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face.
He wondered, "Was she still convergent?" He decided to
integrate properly at once.
     Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and
saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated.
She could see at once by his degenerate conic and dissipative
that he was bent on no good.
     "Arcsinh," she gasped.
     "Ho, ho," he said, "What a symmetric little asymptote
you have I can see you angles have lots of secs."
     "Oh sir," she protested, "keep away from me I haven't
got my brackets on."
     "Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator, "your
fears are purely imaginary."
     "I, I," she thought, "perhaps he's not normal but
homologous."
     "What order are you?" the brute demanded.
     "Seventeen," replied Polly.
     Curly leered "I suppose you've never been operated on."
     "Of course not," Polly replied quite properly, "I'm
absolutely convergent."
     "Come, come," said Curly, "let's off to a decimal place
I know and I'll take you to the limit."
     "Never," gasped Polly.
     "Abscissa," he swore, using the vilest oath he knew.
His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a
log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities.
He stared at her significant places, and began smoothing out her
points of inflection. Poor Polly. The algorithmic method was
now her only hope. She felt his digits tending to her asymptotic
limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.
     There was no mercy, for Curly was a heavyside operator.
Curly's radius squared itself; Polly's loci quivered. He
integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After
he cofactored, he performed runge - kutta on her. The complex
beast even went all the way around and did a contour
integration. What an indignity - to be multiply connected on
her first integration. Curly went on operating until he
completely satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and
became completely orthogonal.
     When Polly got home that night, her mother noticed that
she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated
in several places But it was to late to differentiate now. As
the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically.
Finally she went to L'Hopital and generated a small but
pathological function which left surds all over the place and
drove Polly to deviation.
     The moral of our sad story is this: "If you want to
keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single
degree of freedom."

#459276 +(1146)- [X]

<LadyAerowen> I'm allowed to have my own opinion, burra :P
<burrahobbit> i dont know where you got that idea from but it is wrong

#638182 +(1512)- [X]

<Aunt_Kwan> If you
<Aunt_Kwan> press enter
<Aunt_Kwan> before done with a sentance
<Aunt_Kwan> it makes you 
<Aunt_Kwan> look like you
<Aunt_Kwan> have asthma.

#658119 +(543)- [X]

<TreCool> I had the stupidest secretary ever today at the unviersity. I walked in to get my transcripts and she tells me she needs my school ID number and my first and last name. Now I'm wearing my hat that has my last name on the back of it over the Oilers symbol and I'm wearing the hat backwards so its right out there for her to see. So anyway, I give her my id number and my first name then say my last name. The secretary said "Oh cool! Just like the one on your hat! Now how do you spell that?" I was like "...". I was so tempted to bitch slap that moron.

#667770 +(2788)- [X]

(sean__) i want to call you with my cell phone whats your #
(@Pain`) (911)-323-4155
(sean__) dude you made me call the cops what the fuck

#709974 +(1460)- [X]

kooooorlin: dude I fucking backed up into this car today!
lhendz: what the hell. how'd you do that?
kooooorlin: There was this fucking seagull in the parking lot at best buy like eating someones tire and I was watching it while backing up.
lhendz:.....
lhendz: what'd you do?
kooooorlin: waited for the person to come back, and when they did, they looked at their car, then at mine, and said "SOMEONE HIT OUR CARS!"

#805156 +(1283)- [X]

<TomRiddle> Nothing a couple of hands around her neck can't fix
<Tine`> lol
<Tine`> good luck
<Tine`> I got knivs
<Tine`> knjives
<Tine`> knives
<TomRiddle> Are you typing with them?

#819217 +(829)- [X]

<Dark_Fox> Wheee.. Hooray for USB2.0's slow ass read/write bandwidth
<Dark_Fox> I get to watch my mod compile at the blazing speed of a snail
<Zail_Dark> snails are interesting
<Dark_Fox> I don't think they make for good eats, though
<Zail_Dark> what if it were a giant snail that was eating you?
<Dark_Fox> then i would be in soviet russia

#827480 +(1845)- [X]

<anon> Right now i'm watching this porno
<anon> Asian dude gets on bus full of white highschool girls and gets raped
<anon> I've been on a school bus before and this didn't happen. I'm beginning to think that porn isn't based on true stories.

0.0702 20983 quotes approved; 1707 quotes pending
Hosted by Idologic: high quality reseller and dedicated hosting.
© QDB 1999-2016, All Rights Reserved.