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#229 +(910)- [X]

<iMike> i remember every time i closed my eyes
<iMike> id see your penis
<iMike> it was great
<iMike> i mean disgusting.

#367 +(780)- [X]

<brojek> The A-Team? it goes like this: they have a "job", get into trouble, get cornered, in that corner they build a tank and then escape :)
<toitle> the best bit was when they made the tank out of left overs from a broken vacuum cleaner

#756 +(378)- [X]

<folly> and anyone who tells you you can is a moron.
<folly> (or a windows admin, which amounts to much the same thing)

#1546 +(724)- [X]

(timmo) the average testicle is the size of a walnut.
[maff] the average walnut tastes better than the average testicle

#1774 +(1797)- [X]

<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for  60  points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction

#3650 +(286)- [X]

(@watchy): hey io
(@watchy): i am gonna put up a ebay auction
(@watchy): i'm gonna auction my sperm
(@watchy): haha
*** Quits: watchy (Excess Flood)
(@[IO]): or not

#3817 +(313)- [X]

<JackDaiLo> i need to learn how to sing chinese angry music

#4909 +(641)- [X]

<langdon> *** Unable to resolve
<langdon> how do i get that IP?
<langdon> is that like.
<langdon> when the internet is full?

#5533 +(331)- [X]

<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)

#6784 +(55)- [X]

<DeLorean> fuckin' idiot.
<DeLorean> My boss has me checking his AOL mail ever 30 fuckin' seconds.
<DeLorean> I hate when he's in the office.
<DeLorean> He's never here.
<DeLorean> He's here maybe one day a month.
<`Sean> DeL:  Hey, those life and death decisions are made on AOL!

#6931 +(495)- [X]

<Ibrahim> mike should work for tech support
<Ibrahim> not any company in particular, just tech support in genreal
<michael> Ibrahim, That seems like a good idea in theory. But take into account my acute lack of patience.
<Ibrahim> that's the point.
<Ibrahim> we record all calls, video tape you, and sell it as comedy things.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> you'd make plenty of money.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> Free Donuts.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> how about your choice of 20 nude women at your beck and call carrying large tropical drinks.
<Ibrahim> actually, we could make more money with said 20 women and the video.
<michael> How about we combine all of them?
<Ibrahim> a comedy about 20 nude women with donuts and large tropical drinks?
<LdySaphyre> I want the video of Ib trying to talk twenty women into being michael's nude servants.
<michael> Ibrahim, No. A comedy about 20 nude women seducing me and offering me large tropical drinks while I try to perform my duties as a tech support person :P
<Ibrahim> now THERE is a video!

#7216 +(168)- [X]

<eod> echo "\$cd pub" >t-shirt
<eod> echo "\$more beer" >>t-shirt
<eod> heh
<weis> cat t-shirt | sed s/beer/whiskey/ >better_t-shirt

#8060 +(191)- [X]

<Floach> It's pretty well known that your brain continues to function for quite a bit after decapitation
<Bitstorm> the mame board is proof of that

#8322 +(282)- [X]

<ac> just messaged this girl I use to know back home with "Welcome back hottie"
<ac> The response was "This is katie's mother"
<ac> ...
<ac> not a good thing

#8449 +(233)- [X]

<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :)

#8762 +(99)- [X]

<Afterglow> tom what's the wallop command for mirc? you know?
<relapse> slash onotice i am gay

#9143 +(24)- [X]

<waffle> <+SKubber> as if I'd remember all my one night stands. <+SKubber> hehehe maybe I COULD remember them by smell
<waffle> #bearcave
<Proz512> He remembers by the smell of one's colon

#9360 +(205)- [X]

<[DeViL]Hawk> dammit u sothern punk my mums rich i looked at the price list
<FanBoy|Away> er? your mum is on a price list...figures

#9555 +(309)- [X]

<^Amber^> I didn't spell that right did I?

#15438 +(531)- [X]

<teddyg> any1 here like fred dursts lyrics
<teddyg> i can really connect w/ him when i read/listen to his lyrics
<brakums> are you 12?

#21869 +(319)- [X]

<DoInK`> i mean the other side sends me DCC Chat request and i accept it by
          ^T, and i don't know what to do next
<timecop> doink:
<DoInK`> Linux
<timecop> type
<timecop>  /exec -o yes i want ot dcc chat
<^Spike^> err
<^Spike^> no dont do that
<DoInK`> i want to dcc chat
<DoInK`> i want to dcc chat
<DoInK`> i want to dcc chat
<DoInK`> i want to dcc chat
<DoInK`> i want to dcc chat
<DoInK`> i want to dcc chat
*** SignOff DoInK`: #bitchx (Excess Flood)
<timecop> holy fuck
<timecop> he actually did it
<zone`> G
<^Spike^> isnt this a help channel?
<dh> hahaha
<^Spike^> then why tell em to do stuff like that?
<dh> awwww
<zone`> grr

#31233 +(463)- [X]

(ori) I just watched the movie "Malcolm X"!!
(ori) but I have a question
(ori) What happend to the other nine malcolm movies?

#36984 +(40)- [X]

<Version> I have done absolutely nothing to him in any way, shape, or form.
<Spike> That's why we have the ignore command
<Version> Im not gonna hide away from someone when they are no where near  me.
<MeePLe> Get a live journal or something...
<Ver2> Why, so I can act like a manic depressed child like everyone else?
<MeePLe> yes.

#42496 +(147)- [X]

WhitePony) I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable modem, where do i download the patch?

#46079 +(183)- [X]

<freestyle> whats rhe best site 4 soccer transfers???
<|-|00PsTa> www.metco.com
<freestyle> metco?
<|-|00PsTa> freestyle: movements euro transfers co operation
<freestyle> thanks!
<freestyle> FUCK YOU U GAY FREAK!

#50564 +(196)- [X]

duckstab: Oh and as if i'm the only guy that'd ask God for a handjob. He INVENTED the penis, guys.

#51066 +(210)- [X]

<StalkerofurSoul> you ever been looking at pr0n
<StalkerofurSoul> and seen somebody that looks like your sister?
* StalkerofurSoul shivers
<Eldron> stalker, I just keep fapping, no matter what..

#56558 +(1893)- [X]

<Pyroman> NEW RULE 
<Pyroman> No one may have a name that starts with 'No'  
<Pyroman> It fucks up my nick completion  
*** Yukari is now known as NotYukari 
*** GigaClonWantstoKickNickServ is now known as NotGigaron 
*** NMR is now known as NotNMR 
*** DJ_Bytes is now known as NotAlsoDJBY 
<emphaticallyumopepisdn> You guys are sheep 
<NotYukari> baa 
<NotAlsoDJBY> Baaa 
<NotGigaron> baaa 
<NotNMR> baaaa

#65749 +(991)- [X]

<Neon[UK]>im considering using redhat as my desktop pc
<Neon[UK]>its just so much better
<Neon[UK]>windows error: OMFG THERZZ AN ERRROR!!111 WTF??!?!?!
<Neon[UK]>linux error: hello there, you have an error. here's a detailed list of whats gone wrong and he's how to fix it, would you like some coffee?

#76726 +(451)- [X]

<@Ne[r]d> my father just walked behind me, and saw one of the buttons on the taskbar "AltaVista's Babe..." :O
<@Ne[r]d> he wanted to see it :p
<@Lizard> lol
<@Vader> lol
<@Vader> Sure, dad, translate away!

#82194 +(28)- [X]

<laura> Are  you drunk, hein.
<hein> off of love
<laura> sad, drunk off yourself.

#83952 +(444)- [X]

***Wang has been kicked by Metallica (dammit, stop with the wang jokes)
<MulletMan> but the memory remains!

#84692 +(1679)- [X]

<MillitePress> Yeah, it's about masturbation and stuff. Weird book.
<jamessheen> whats masturbation
<MillitePress> ...
<Kail> ...
<Nikul> ...
<MillitePress> It's a touchy subject

#106581 +(306)- [X]

<Mog> -boys

#116662 +(166)- [X]

<fruchtig> Doctors are so evil. They tell you to get in a certain position, hide behind a wall, and let YOU soak up a few x-rays. The doctor thinks, "Just stay there while I go hide behind this wall and press this button for a moment while hysterically laughing at you." And then you see that radioactive symbol on the machine surrounding your head and think, "Oh joy!"

#136529 +(1048)- [X]

<otto> so... whats everyone up to tonight?
<Sauron> I'm doing a few things; checking my ebay account, cleaning the computer area, studying for a test in school tomorrow, and eating these hot pockets.
<Sauron> and of course, IRCing like a mofo.
<XDA> masturbating
<Raven> Porn.
<fry> porn
<otto> "which one doesn't belong here..."

#221661 +(682)- [X]

<RazielHex> Whaddya do if you see a friend's picture in a porn site?
<Yamatto> you link us for a start.

#238066 +(853)- [X]

<tah_twig> How do you know I'm NOT a hot, slutty girl?
<go_amd_go> because your here

#341298 +(732)- [X]

<Raven> gayanal.com not a warez!

#402280 +(672)- [X]

<random_monkey> "UPS" - that's the noise they make when they drop your parcels

#422785 +(310)- [X]

Osaka> There's no room to be deppressed anymore.
Osaka> I'd angst, but you'd all go to the "Emo" routine.
Osaka> What am I to do, bottle my emotions?
CodenameROFL> yes.
Osaka> ...
Osaka> Teh world = Teh suck
Osaka> Code, you suck.
CodenameROFL> :P
CodenameROFL> I know
Osaka> Well, suck elsewhere.
CodenameROFL> ...
CodenameROFL> If I could do that, do you think I'd be lurking on the internet?
Osaka> Nuff said.

#561141 +(1877)- [X]

<quadropheniac57> so we're talking about aboriginal symbols in school today
<quadropheniac57> and i tell my group that i read it was bad luck to kill an emu, except i say emo on accident
<quadropheniac57> so i laugh and say "actually, it's pretty good luck to kill an emo"
<quadropheniac57> this girl, overweight, dyed black hair, eyeshadow, not goth but close
<quadropheniac57> says "no, emo is sad. emo is short for emotional"
<quadropheniac57> so i respond "no, emo is short for stupid"
<quadropheniac57> she says "no, it's for emotional. emo people are emotional beings who live that way to relieve their pain"
<quadropheniac57> i say "emo people are self-absorbed attention-seeking idiots who listen to crappy music"
<quadropheniac57> rest of class, she gives me the most dark and depressed death glare
<quadropheniac57> THE WHOLE REST OF CLASS, that's like 45 minutes, she's just death-looking me, not even turning her head
<quadropheniac57> i swear, she's gonna kill herself this weekend, and it's all my fault
<civilpunkbikes> good luck coming your way
<quadropheniac57> amen

#572588 +(539)- [X]

<nerdBeer> so, I just dropped a book _into the toilet_
<ct> home or work?
<popsQ> heh, does it matter?
<nerdBeer> poop's poop, man.
<banquo> Ok,..WHY were you reading a book over a poop filled toilet? And what!? "Poop spotters guide"? "Pooping for dummies"? "The illustrated guide to What the Hell did I Eat"? "Flushing and putting the seat down (A husbands compendium)"?  
<banquo> If you have to stand and read it it has to be porn while your,.........Oh I see

#638341 +(122)- [X]

<Percy> No wonder this place is empty.
<Percy> Who uses windows 95?
<Percy> No one.
<Percy> It's like seeing a mac gamer.
<Percy> Doesn't happen.

#651378 +(625)- [X]

ThPhox: Dude...there's free Cinemax, and there's porn on.
ThPhox: AAAAnd it's anal.
ThPhox: *does the field goal sign*
SNAPEK1LSDMBLDOR: He shoots, wrong goalll!!!!!!

#698189 +(721)- [X]

[XClaireX]: i was masturbating the other day
[Childzy]: uh.. okay
[XClaireX]: i think i did it wrong
[XClaireX]: ..
[XClaireX]: i'm pregnant now :' (

#698198 +(1153)- [X]

<Ivyshaur> No, we've been informed that listening to Rammstein is the best way to learn German.
<mrPants> You learn it very quick
<mrPants> The problem is that you only know how to talk about sodomy, canibalism, incest, and death
<granola> there are other things to talk about?
<mrPants> Not in germany

#741908 +(491)- [X]

<peerce> Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, Ill use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.

#894261 +(39)- [X]

<Kir> I have an idea!
<Kir> I'm going to play a game about underage black members of the community engaging in various acts of vandalism of public property in their quest for a deeper understanding and spiritual enlightenment.

#954218 +(218)- [X]

<Koel> imagine a mother dick feeding a whole nest of chirping baby dicks

0.0461 20983 quotes approved; 1537 quotes pending
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