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#2617 +(2535)- [X]

<Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.

#3089 +(359)- [X]

<[ric]> are you going to start wearing clothes after the court case?

#3217 +(902)- [X]

<natescape> There's a new soft drink that contains Viagra instead of caffeine, it's called Mount-n-Do.

#7483 +(243)- [X]

<Chrizto> 6 irc channels, 7 mailing lists, and not a damn thing is going on

#7577 +(65)- [X]

<Ling-Food> myst: I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!

#7620 +(494)- [X]

<shadok> CNN: Germany seals Nazi slave labor compensation deal
<shadok> i think they should just invite all the remaining survivors to free
  "compensation camps"

#10145 +(36)- [X]

<luczzid> kinda funny that the corporate facist assholes at disney are using commy
software like linux.  fucking assholes

#11260 +(192)- [X]

<DumbCatgirlSexSlave> no.  must slay Willian Shatner.
<DumbCatgirlSexSlave> ... his name is "Shatner".  this never struck me as funny before but it does now.
<Tomko> william scatner
<Tomko> spock: your feces is ILLOGICALLY DELICIOUS

#12303 +(523)- [X]

<baldurk> btw, happy independance day!!
<baldurk> although in england we call it thanksgiving day

#12339 +(331)- [X]

<TommyLee> what site?
<Dan`> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<TommyLee> you donated 3.00 ?
<Dan`> no
<XG3> fuck i did
<XG3> i thought it was mandatory

#14712 +(102)- [X]

<antivert> flah. semen's nasty.
<antivert> except.. on nachos..

#15464 +(214)- [X]

<Nozomu> ted: and no one has ever crashed a movie theater into the pentagon
<rogue> noz: they might.  we should be careful.

#16886 +(153)- [X]

<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do

#17291 +(1161)- [X]

<Isajeep> in fotr when gandalf first goes to see that other gay wizard what does he first say to him?
<NickBlasta> stfu noob
<Setzer> stfu noob
<CRC> he says: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"
<CRC> we should get the script to LOTR and make it l33t
<DC4ever> CRC - and then add subtitles to the avi of it, and rename it "L0rd of teh r1ngz0rs!"
<CRC> legolas: chex0r this out! *stabs orc in eye with arrow* LOL! di3 f00l! *shoots another orc with arrow* pwned!
<[H]Slacker> divx?
<NickBlasta> orc: CHEATER CHEATER WALLHACK!!1
<CRC> (when pippin/merry/whichever the fuck knocks the armor down the well) Gandalf: omg, noob!

#17414 +(304)- [X]

<tytu> does anyone ever pull hisself?
<r0mulus> what?!
<tytu> when you pull your...you know
<r0mulus> hmm
<r0mulus> no
<r0mulus> i don't
<r0mulus> know what you mean
<tytu> you wrap your hand around your dick and then start to pull up and down
<r0mulus> umm... i  think your in the wrong channel

#21002 +(329)- [X]

<Pants> you know .. living in australia .. and being raised watching so much american television .. sometimes you get confused and think to dial 911 instead of 000 for emergencies

#24745 +(226)- [X]

* Seph gives potatoe a *Super Tight And Really Super Erotic Groping Fondling Earth Shattering Sonic Boom Oh Gawd If You Stop I'll Kill You Better Than Heaven Yet Hotter Than Hell Watch Where Ya Stick Yer Hands Super Huge Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Don't Ya Dare Stop Touching Me Huggeroonies And A Knees Are Shaking Earth Is Trembling My Heart Has Stop Beating Passionit Knees Shaking Lots A Goosebumps Was That The Ground Moving Passionate Wet Deep
<Seph> um....
<Seph> wrong one

#26770 +(878)- [X]

<Midtown> my family is going down the tube fast...
<Punkrwker> y is dat?
<Midtown> i walk into my rents comp room and my 13 year old bro is beatin off
<Midtown> so i run into my moms room laughing my ass off and i say "go look at spence"
<Midtown> she goes "is he playing with himself again"
<Punkrwker> hahahahahahaha
<Midtown> i almost fucking died laughing, then i was like ...."again?"

#34169 +(280)- [X]

* Finn apologises for her rabbit like activity
<Finn> that could be read a few ways..I mean jumping about

#46738 +(179)- [X]

[00:49:53] * Wynn is now known as Wynn|ZzzZ
[00:50:14] * Gothmog is now known as Goth|aslp
<Goth|aslp> nightall
<Wynn|ZzzZ> geez.. don't make it too obvious..
<Wynn|ZzzZ> at least wait 5 mins, dammnit.
<Goth|aslp> i cant. i want you i need you oh baby oh baby
<Wynn|ZzzZ> you *wish* you were Julia Stiles.
<Wynn|ZzzZ> heck, *I* wish you were Julia Stiles.
<Goth|aslp> lol

#46862 +(216)- [X]

<blu|tired> you tried to compartmentalise and detach yourself from your emotional response to the book and approach it abstractly, trying to purify the visual essence of your own thoughts and feelings.
<blu|tired> so you made a sqaure
<blu|tired> a purple square

#49122 +(175)- [X]

<DAnuba> omfg
<DAnuba> gay pride just came to my house
<C-rEs> ?
<DAnuba> and asked us to join their cause
<C-rEs> haha
<DAnuba> well
<DAnuba> i told them to fuck off
<DAnuba> they called me a fag basher
*later*
<DAnuba> i'm going to a weight lifting convention tomorrow
<C-rEs> heh
<C-rEs> so you did talk to the gay pride guys!

#58520 +(200)- [X]

* Mr`Anders is now known as MrAndersn
<TreOptik> mrandersn sounds like a pedophile biochemestry teacher
***later
<_spirit_> hmm mr anderson... that reminds me of highschool
<TreOptik> i said something like that too ..

#62519 +(341)- [X]

<_bryan_> its a good thing MS isn't in the condom business

#63070 +(102)- [X]

<@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i find Myst install directions with my computer stuff
<@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1

#72894 +(29)- [X]

<rastakid> Geez .. I really should stop with computers. I wrote a valentine card, and signed it with "H4ppy V4l3nt1n3" ..

#73028 +(380)- [X]

<Verchiani> whats a good word to get shaved into the back of your head??
<DeathJester> idiot

#75106 +(100)- [X]

CrayonBreakyWill: A surrogate father?
sidacola: Used condom and a turkey baster...

#75400 +(293)- [X]

<Surge|Metal`Gearing> Yeah why don't we use stupid people as a fossil fuel? We'd end the energy crisis for millions of years.

#104893 +(74)- [X]

<ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
<ChemicalBurn> scarey!
* ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower

#105826 +(252)- [X]

<mercury> CANADA: WE PUT THE "U" IN SATIRE

#121862 +(340)- [X]

<tobester> thats like being with a hot chick all night and then you go "hey I gotta piss ill be right back" and she goes "I'll join you" and you think you're about to get a handjob but really she just needs to piss and takes the urinal next to yours and hasa bigger penis than yours

#126324 +(341)- [X]

<Wargon> RPC exploit grrrrrrr
<Wargon> blocked the ports now
<tfg> AOL blocks all that shit for me by default
<tfg> They clearly know what 99% of their users are like
<Spanky-G> like?
<Spanky-G> 99% of their users hardly know what a computer is

#144922 +(879)- [X]

<@adsf> nz is good to go to if you from aus cus there dollar is actualy worse then ours
<*@orange1> that's because of all the civil unrest
<*@orange1> orks fighting the horse people and whatnot

#145954 +(992)- [X]

<bigbear> fuck
<bigbear> my ears are ringing
<Pebble> answer it then

#166427 +(1119)- [X]

<@Infinik> Hehe.
<@Infinik> I just took a call for the Samaritans
<@Infinik> Our phone numbers are one number apart
<@Infinik> So this guy was talking to me about some charity shit
<@Infinik> And I interrupted him
<@Infinik> "Would you excuse me for a moment?" "Sure." "HEY JULIO! I SAID DON'T LET THE JEWISH KIDS IN WITH THE HUMAN KIDS YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
<@Infinik> He hung up :)

#175862 +(592)- [X]

<buggler> nataria you sex machine
<Nataria> buggler im not a sex machine...
<buggler> you're not? prove you're not
<PubiclyRelated> ;p; yeh
<PubiclyRelated> prove it lol
<Nataria> roflmao
<Nataria> how can i be a sex machine if i havent had sex? O:D
<Nataria> ha i winnnn :D
<buggler> it's like having a cooking machine that hasn't been used, doesn't make it any less a machine
<Nataria> rofl
<buggler> you don't win, you lose. My rebuttal is second to none
<Nataria> so im a sex machine waiting to be turned on?

#239817 +(1485)- [X]

<my_ass_is_hot> So the vice principle was fucking like, sweating because she was a fat bitch and it was lunch time
<uber_bob> lol
<my_ass_is_hot> so as soon as the bell rings she rushes out of the office like a scud missle heading for a childrens daycare
<krazykillah> ROFl
<my_ass_is_hot> but when she comes back there are like 6 of us there waiting for her and she says, "all right, whos my next victim?"
<my_ass_is_hot> and I yell, "A CHEESEBURGER!"
<my_ass_is_hot> there was this huge silence and then everybody in the room including some other teacher started laughing like hell and the fat bitch is just staring like she wants to kill me
<my_ass_is_hot> i got suspended :(

#364587 +(961)- [X]

<@HndlWCare> I just got email from postmaster@adelphia.net telling the mailbox for postmaster@adelphia.net is over quota, and if I feel this message is in error I should reply to postmaster@adelphia.net

#419733 +(837)- [X]

Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my friend

#449313 +(1844)- [X]

<MystMan> you followed me!! you freaky stalker!
<Cyber_Akuma_Zero> I am not a stalker
<Cyber_Akuma_Zero> btw, you're out of milk

#612055 +(649)- [X]

Vann: turns out grilling the peanut butter and jelly was not my best idea.
Jeffrey: OMG you didn't...
Vann: no, george foreman did.

#733345 +(943)- [X]

<Peza> A terabyte is 1/8th of a bit, right?
<sungo> If it is, I have a lot less disk storage than I thought

#760655 +(371)- [X]

<siq> so I was taking a shit in the engineering building today...
<siq> and there was some force equation written on the wall.
<siq> below it someone wrote "who studies fluids on the pooper?"
<siq> below that someone replied "someone with diarrhea"

#780971 +(995)- [X]

<BlackMage> The name Benjamin comes from the hebrew "son of my right hand"
<BlackMage> If I ever donate sperm, I'm attaching a rider that says the kid needs to be named ben if it's a boy

#896407 +(56)- [X]

< cunt^chocula> I think there will be Michael Jackson sightings the way there are Elvis sightings now

#925489 +(37)- [X]

<+fuji@2ch> Basically, he and his second wife, not my mother, got in a fight.  He kicked her out and started drinking massively.
<th0r> ah, fuck alcohol >.< one of the worst materials we ever created
<+fuji@2ch> He spent awhile sitting alone in the house with no food and few hundred scotch bottles.
<th0r> That's crazy... how's everything now?
<+fuji@2ch> He basically fried out his brain,and went crazy and started building a fort in the middle of a busy street.
<th0r> ... what? Seriously?
<+fuji@2ch> yeah, no kidding.
<th0r> That sounds more like something a paranoid schizophrenic would do...
<+fuji@2ch> Yeah, well maybe there's some other issues going on.

#928475 +(662)- [X]

Matoyak: We caught a catfish with some weird-ass face tentacles...
Matoyak: That's the best way I can describe these things.
Tru: lol
Tru: I thought weird-ass face tentacles was a defining characteristic of catfish...
Matoyak: It wasn't like whiskers...these things were half as long as the fish itself, and almost as thick.
Matoyak: Heh, these were above and beyond the call of duty for catfish face tentacles.
Matoyak: Weird-ass sunovabitch.
Tru: hehehe
Tru: mutant
Matoyak: Yeah. It was big enough to keep, but we tossed it back cause we weren't going to eat something that looked that fucked up.
Tru: if  you eat a mutant catfish, perhaps you get mutant catfish superpowers... I wonder what those would be?
Matoyak: ...
Matoyak: The ability to become a bottom-sucking scum eater?
Matoyak: Hrmmm
Matoyak: So you become a politician.

#940694 +(868)- [X]

<@JackD> ooh, a app store on its way for windows :) how nice
<J700> it's called piratebay

#944959 +(1276)- [X]

you there... the guy from Australia using BigPond and spamming junk into the submission queue along with ads for some stupid weeaboo site.
yes, you.
KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO EVEN VIEW THIS SITE!

0.0738 21096 quotes approved; 1835 quotes pending
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