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#3737 +(921)- [X]

<lonelyfig> who here can name all the punk bands that have won Grammy's?
<Lawd> u2 and umm
<Lawd> fuck thats it
<nXwetrust> u2 punk?.......
<lonelyfig> U2 = not a punk band
<Lawd> yeah they are
<blazemore> hahaha
<lonelyfig> no they arent
<Lawd> they started out as a punk band
<blazemore> michael jackson also started out as a black person
<Lawd> haha wtf :|

#4208 +(45)- [X]

<JacKnife> well wats a good game to play?
<bucshott> pocket pool
<bucshott> ;P
<JacKnife> i'm an expert at that game
<bucshott> see told ya it was good

#4745 +(1056)- [X]

<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes

#7355 +(576)- [X]

<whyerhead> hrm. I couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a fist full of pardons

#7467 +(195)- [X]

<tris> all the tech contact email is signed "MFN Corporate Communications" now
<tris> maybe they are the ones running the routers
<neruaL> that would imply that a) they were running and b) someone had control
         over it

#15166 +(263)- [X]

[][ceman] I get mine from the fact that for the first 2 weeks of playing CS I didnt; know you could buy rifles
[][ceman] I thought they were scattered on the ground and that people kept picking them up before me

#15926 +(821)- [X]

<@harb> Hah. So the only food I've got is a fortune cookie, and the fortune reads "May you have a good appetite." Bastards.

#23181 +(274)- [X]

<Yoshi> I watch way too much leave it to beaver.
<Yoshi> I'm just going to stop resisting and start calling my dad pops and saying gee wizz alot.
<hampsterdance> g wizz alot?
<hampsterdance> isn't that a rapper?

#24213 +(842)- [X]

<GKSetzer> If I was terra I'd break his neck plz
<JonJonB> If I was Terra I'd feel my breasts, then break his neck XDDDD
<melusine> That'd be a messed up scene: Terra looked up at the sorcerer in horror, rage and disgust roiling in the pit of her stomach. Pausing briefly to fondle her breasts, she transformed into an Esper and broke Kefka's neck in one swift motion.

#31343 +(1197)- [X]

<mrphilez> how many inches is 69mm?
<GLHTurbo> let me measure my penis
<Avram> how would that help? you have a 69mm penis?
<GLHTurbo> yes
<_neil> 69mm = 6.9cm = 2.71"
<GLHTurbo> yes i do
<GLHTurbo> oh wait

#32758 +(110)- [X]

<Al_Koholic> FPD?
<NativeAmericanPsycho> It's a black thing.
<EMWCPrez> Like KFC?

#33950 +(167)- [X]

<Furvert> Washington's the only state where you can see signs like:  Tractor Rentals, Engines Rebuilt, Espresso.

#38485 +(431)- [X]

<seven> hooked up with some chick at a party james invited me to last weekend. she comes back to my place, we're fucking around, she gives me a handjob, my vesuvious errupts, I'm content and am ready to go to sleep. then like, 2-3 minutes after said erruption, she's back down there again, and I'm thinking "what the fuck, as if, the guy needs some time to recover", much to my surprise, she got it all back and working again, and lo and behold, a second eruption
<seven> so I said straight away "whoa, you're like, really good at that."
<seven> "do you have a little brother or something?"

#44733 +(164)- [X]

(@Hanky) does anyone in here no if Tupac Shakur still has a web site?
(@DCx3) yer he updates it regulary

#45132 +(99)- [X]

<Vel> 9th graders are in 8th grade or 7th grade
<Vel> err 13 year olds*

#45669 +(295)- [X]

<LightningX> I just got a message from SexyChick1242
<LightningX> I am so happy
<Ron-Ton> awesome
<LightningX> think there could be sex?
<Ron-Ton> If he takes his viagra

#46427 +(441)- [X]

<crushdmb> blah
<crushdmb> I HATE EXES
* crushdmb kills all exes
<vap0r> hahaah
<vap0r> why?
<crushdmb> 'cuz my ex is an asshole
<vap0r> i thought you meant .exe

#46720 +(616)- [X]

<Buck> Light travels faster then sound, thats why people seem bright until you hear them...

#49583 +(43)- [X]

<SiCkNeSs-> <-------fucking maggot slipknot fan!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> got my own channel!!!!!
<SiCkNeSs-> >=)
<dreamHOBO> i believe you mean fucking faggot

#52661 +(292)- [X]

<+NikitaDk> The problem is that God gave men both a penis and a brain, but only blood enough to control one organ at a time... Robin Williams
<+Challii> ha ha ha ha ha ha
<+Challii> and it gave women too much blood that they had to get rid of a load of it each month

#53609 +(159)- [X]

<Ac|D> i said send it to me on cd
<Ac|D> not over irc
<voltstfu> dicksuckin' tramp. no im not sending you a 38meg file via australia post
<Ac|D> fillup the cd with other shit then
<voltstfu> i have not much of interest
<voltstfu> unless you've never seen a german shepherd do a woman missionary style
<Ac|D> haha

#53859 +(286)- [X]

i am RAWK: you know, I don't think I ever really realized how much boys jack off before I started reading bash.org
i am RAWK: i mean, I kinna figured it was a frequent thing, but it seems astronomical now
QuakeZop: haha, I've done it fifteen times since you left here

#56155 +(244)- [X]

[54]Drekknni: I've noticed that Mario Sunshine makes me feel pretty violent. More so than GTA3 or other "violent", "adult" games, anyway. I can't stand more than 20 minutes or so of it without getting pissed off and throwing the controller.

#69326 +(640)- [X]

<Huge_Spatula> I wanted to submit a mistake from "The Man in the Iron Mask" to www.moviemistakes.com that said, "Watch the scenes that feature Leanardo Dicapprio carefully. He can't act."

#81871 +(256)- [X]

Fordrin: The girl to guy ratio in Austin is 5 to 1
Fordrin: I bet you're wondering, why aren't you getting laid?
Fordrin: Well, my friend, it's quite simple.
Fordrin: The truth of the matter is, I am.
Fordrin: I walk outside, and say, "Hey sexy little whore of babylon, I've been on 3 #1 TWL teams..."
Fordrin: And the college girls, in their drunken stupor say, "What?"
Fordrin: And I say, "So basically, what you're getting at is, you want my nuts?"
Fordrin: And they stare blankly for a moment...
Fordrin: And then in their state of confusion, I take full advantage of them.

#82642 +(1)- [X]

<Ekstelis> How long did the installation take?  1300+ Hours of labor involved in restoration and install
<Ekstelis> How much fiberglass and resin was used? 42 gallons of fiberglass and resin.
<TK`Devour> it takes me 42 gallons of fiberglass & resin to put my bong back together after i use it too much

#83891 +(2008)- [X]

@(DonoftheDead) They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, because if you play it forwards it installs Windows.

#92706 +(967)- [X]

<dySanGONE> i asked my mom to leave me some money so i could go to wendy's
<dySanGONE> she left me $40
<Nago> nice
<yotta|w0rk> must have thought wendy was a cheap whore.

#104694 +(612)- [X]

PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the awesome none of the bullshit.

#105442 +(32)- [X]

(cheese) You know why you NEVER have sex first thing in the morning?
(cheese) You ever PEAEEEL open a grilled cheese sandwich?
* cheese pulls his hands apart slowly making squishy noiuses

#105447 +(262)- [X]

<DagdaMor> ah well back to my systems of second order differential equations...
<DagdaMor> *ding ding*
<DagdaMor> the fun train is now leaving...all aboard!

#115960 +(1372)- [X]

* Dante changes topic to 'ChanServ can go suck a cock.'
* ChanServ changes topic to 'Fuck You'

#137587 +(1016)- [X]

* Steele looks at his watch
<Steele> well either its 6:15 or mickey has a hard on

#138418 +(34)- [X]

<bucket> The U.S. is strange!
<Ven99> - Iknow
<Ven99> - I was downt in texas and walked into a mexican abortion clinic.
<bucket> why were you in there???
<Ven99> - The sign in the front said "CRIME STOPPERS"

#149815 +(826)- [X]

[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!

#240044 +(1597)- [X]

<DeAdiNsiDe> WOooOH!
<DeAdiNsiDe> SPIDERS!!!!!!!!
<Spiders> yes?
<DeAdiNsiDe> err
<DeAdiNsiDe> disk!
<Spiders> hahaha
<DeAdiNsiDe> Ooh fuck
<DeAdiNsiDe> im never gonna hear the end of that one

#408882 +(1388)- [X]

<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating
<Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened
<Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table"
<Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..."
<Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha
<Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time
<Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting.

#410657 +(1679)- [X]

KelBell853: im 4'12'' 82 pounds, hazel eyes, brown hair blond highlights, medium length hair
i am KTIK: 4'12"?
KelBell853: yeah 4 feet 12 inches
i am KTIK: I hope you're kidding.
KelBell853: im dead serious
i am KTIK: How many inches are in a foot?
KelBell853: 12
i am KTIK: Put two and two together...
KelBell853: opps yeah im 5 foot

#447190 +(1178)- [X]

<f|ywork> 1 of our students has got himself in a spot of bother. He booked out a dv cam and a firewire hard drive from the helpdesk, then videoed some chick giving him head and forgot to delete it from the hd when he returned it
<TBBwork> do u have a copy of this video?
<f|ywork> it's rendering in premiere as we speak

#591385 +(1295)- [X]

(cyber1|t0) anyone know how i can open up pm's without a mouse pm me now
(cyber1|t0) actually dont pm

#665628 +(876)- [X]

<Derkum> You know your mom has humour when her password to the computer is "divorce05"

#675555 +(853)- [X]

<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots

#689328 +(1012)- [X]

Chico: i would never consider her at all
Chico: shes like 100% emo
Chico: to the bone
QueenRen24: aww, but emo kids are so cut
QueenRen24: e

#725069 +(3111)- [X]

<Holly> So I got my period, and i was bleeding, and my pad leaked
<Jesse> Really?
<Holly> Yeah, and it leaked everywhere! And so i had to go into the doctors, and they had to shave my vagina, it wasnt good
<Jesse> Wow, i cant believe youre telling me this
<Holly> Well...its just girl talk
<Jesse> Jesse is a guy's name too

#737903 +(486)- [X]

<Aust> I was playing a groove jazz jam at a coffee shop, and a group of mentally handicapped kids walked in. One of them ran right to the middle of us and started dancing all crazy. He was dressed like an Native American. Like, battle rags... It was fuckiing awesome. He danced for like 20 minutes. We all danced with him.

#747235 +(2922)- [X]

<mav> I've always wanted to change my legal name to ;DROP DATABASE; and see what kind of havoc ensues...

#765549 +(28)- [X]

<%crazy_clown> php is like teh pron
<Keef> quick, dirty and cheap?
<%crazy_clown> and i fap over it

#890929 +(1126)- [X]

<amb> let's make a coloring book
<amb> and then sue kids for unauthorized derivative works

#893378 +(833)- [X]

<Vinny> they should build another barad-dur
<Vinny> give sauron some depth perception

#954232 +(801)- [X]

<saylan> I just set up port forwards to defense.gov
<saylan> anyone scanning me now will be scanning/attacking the DoD :D
<renderbod> O.o
<bolt> that's... not exactly how port forwarding works
<saylan> ?

0.0756 21077 quotes approved; 499 quotes pending
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