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#1195 +(451)- [X]

<Guilty> My friends cousin's mom told her kids that if you cursed online the police came to arrest you
<Guilty> So they would type like "Go to h!ll!"

#3315 +(1024)- [X]

<FallLine> heh wtf
<FallLine> some people are stupid
<FallLine> i asked this guy to send me a log file from my software...
<FallLine> either cut and paste the last 100 or so lines into the email or attach the entire log
<FallLine> so he prints the entire thing out
<FallLine> scans it in
<FallLine> and then attaches the images INSIDE a word document
<FallLine> and only the first 100 lines
<FallLine> hehe

#4330 +(245)- [X]

<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death

#6354 +(598)- [X]

<_Hawkeye_> I don't bareback
<_Hawkeye_> Fastest way to the grave
<Mthbeylt> I'm not sure, but I have a feeling this isn't about the relative merits of riding horses without a saddle.

#7359 +(213)- [X]

* stormo is potentially cosplaying at manifest this year
<DannyS> stormo: you'll still lose all respect
<DannyS> i mean, it's like voluntarily going out in front of traffic and ramming a set of computer speakers up your arse
<DannyS> except the latter gets you more friends and respect

#7713 +(432)- [X]

<TonyD> you hatiater
<DamianMor> What on earth is a hatiater?
<TonyD> it's a word I just made up
<TonyD> someone who radiates hate

#8586 +(361)- [X]

<rg> my f key got fucked once
<rg> i tried to tell people to use the shift key and all hell broke loose

#9092 +(233)- [X]

<Cassius> erm
<Cassius> why does the gurl in final fantasy look so much more real than the others?
<JtHMx> so you can fap over her
<bleetz> cause then she'll make little boys more aroused.
<bleetz> and they'll buy the game
<bleetz> or.. much better put.. by jt..
* JtHMx bows

#11735 +(344)- [X]

<+brx|> u know whats great about spreadsheets..?

#13424 +(40)- [X]

<diranged> silly ghost bear
<diranged> where's no sense there's no feeling
<diranged> so pointing pistol at my head is rather useless

#13607 +(992)- [X]

<NintendoGuru> Yoda of Borg am I! Assimilated shall you be! Futile resistance is, hmm?

#16858 +(617)- [X]

<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo

#17267 +(117)- [X]

<epic> so are MP movie rips good?
<Tetrad> I don't know, I'm just an op
<Tetrad> I can kick people, that's about it :P

#21781 +(471)- [X]

<worldspawn> <-- so gay
<worldspawn> FUCK
<worldspawn> wait

#21787 +(1469)- [X]

*** Chimerasame is now known as MissScarlet
<Foxworth> ...
<Foxworth> must...
<Foxworth> resist...
<Foxworth> urge...
*** Foxworth is now known as MrGreen
*** Signoff: MissScarlet (Killed (MrGreen (in the ballroom with the knife)))

#30255 +(466)- [X]

<Yomanman> we're gonna have a southern wedding!
<PowerRad> Also known as a family reunion

#34436 +(354)- [X]

<KingHenry> castrated men live longer
<Phuser> but do castrated men really live

#35423 +(515)- [X]

<RoboHak> I need a bigger lap, two laptops don't fit very well
<mynuts> "... and thats where human evolution turned south"

#43343 +(222)- [X]

<@kmad> yah im switching majors
<@mr420> so whats your new major
<@kmad> English
<@mr420> yuch
<@ChAmP> o.O
<@mr420> from what
<@kmad> cpsc
<@kmad> so boring and stupid
<@ChAmP> english is boringer

#45803 +(344)- [X]

<Kevyn> Ugh. I just had to explain to Jessica what fap meant. Thanks guys.

#46720 +(615)- [X]

<Buck> Light travels faster then sound, thats why people seem bright until you hear them...

#47737 +(441)- [X]

RamAss has joined #subaru
<RamAss> subaru is for gooks and niggers
<RamAss> muahahahah
<pagan> heh well atleast my nick does not insinuate im a homosexual :/

#48007 +(56)- [X]

Sweetlilluv: Would you really fuck any random gurl?
Ichiro number 1: Its a joke..a joke....see this is why guys dont talk to girls about sex.....gurls take everything to seriously

#54552 +(278)- [X]

*** KeeperX (KeeperX@ has joined channel #idle
   <KeeperX>: ...
   <KeeperX>: Why isn't anyone talking?

#56407 +(239)- [X]

<Krypto-> while you sleep and wet your bed tonight.. i'll be in the land of hobbits.. SO FUCK U
* Krypto- prances off

#69673 +(678)- [X]

(doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or something
(slippy): me too
(slippy): i bought 5 internets the other day

#77387 +(209)- [X]

<Patrick> my mom just gave me 10 more dollars
<Patrick> i feel like saying
<Patrick> "thanks for supporting my drinking habit mom"

#78935 +(526)- [X]

* @K3nSh1n plays with the keyboard
<@Steve> I named mine, too.
<@K3nSh1n> lol
<@K3nSh1n> winkey?
<@Steve> "Womb Stretcher, the Magnificent"
<@K3nSh1n> ahhh
<@Steve> Most girls call it "Bahahahahah!  Are you asian?"

#97989 +(419)- [X]

<Scoteh> Im depressed
<wizzer> why?
<Scoteh> I realised I have more money in an mmorpg than in real life....
<wizzer> Ah......

#98389 +(239)- [X]

<ex-machina> lol there's a guy in hellraiser 3 who kills people by chucking CDs at them. Presumably they're Win XP install discs...

#105190 +(121)- [X]

* phoen][x hears 'Sounds of /dev/urandom' (dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/dsp)

#106022 +(390)- [X]

<Jeeba|FG> I think all Juvenile Delinquents should be sent to spend 5 months with me.
<Sunn_Toucher> Are you a law figure?
<Jeeba|FG> No
<Jeeba|FG> Im a child molester.

#121175 +(416)- [X]

<jvalenzu> dude
<jvalenzu> can you imagine a rice field working game?
<jvalenzu> that would rock
<jvalenzu> SimGrain
<jvalenzu> SimGrain: Wild Rice Expansion Pack

#139697 +(9179)- [X]

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

#147497 +(419)- [X]

<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'

#174668 +(377)- [X]

* Fred (myEmail@..........net) Quit (Warning: Mirc, has caused an illegal operation and will shut down. This happened because you were about to Finish a download you were waiting on for a month, and we can't have that.)

#221855 +(524)- [X]

<mindy>why are men so insecure about how long their penises are?
<topbottom>it's not that we're insecure, it's just something we like to keep track of, like our shoe size
<topbottom>men need to know this so that when a chick asks us how long our cock is, we know what to multiply by 1.5
<mikeyL>yeah, so i'd say 6 inches

#301909 +(709)- [X]

ShortyMcStupid: i was looking at pron on the internet
ShortyMcStupid: and the comp froze
ShortyMcStupid: so i just got up and left
Meneeococoa: hm
ShortyMcStupid: and came back and put my brother's watch on top of the monitor
Meneeococoa: hahaha
Meneeococoa: thats funny....
ShortyMcStupid: and my parents kicked him out

#455771 +(1084)- [X]

Dan: When I die, I wouldn't want any one to find my pr0n. Someone needs to create encrypted mpeg/divx.
Presmike: all the passwords would be cracked in no time because they have to be easy enough to type with one hand.
Dan: O_o

#563331 +(1241)- [X]

<chrisg> is it star wars ep. 2 thats got the litte green guy jumpin about fighting and stuff?
<grifferz> what you have just asked, is, to a star wars fan, akin to saying, "so, that bible, is that the one where the beardy guy conjures up a heap of fish?" to a christian

#638182 +(1527)- [X]

<Aunt_Kwan> If you
<Aunt_Kwan> press enter
<Aunt_Kwan> before done with a sentance
<Aunt_Kwan> it makes you 
<Aunt_Kwan> look like you
<Aunt_Kwan> have asthma.

#657992 +(280)- [X]

<_grunt> wife washed my damned wallet
<_grunt> i got freshly laundred money
<_grunt> my driving record is now clean
<_grunt> a new social security card washed up
<_grunt> wonder if the soap washed the debit off my credit cards

#670471 +(59)- [X]

<loo> every fucking bj should be two-handed
<mit3> actually it pretty much depends.
<mit3> like what if you ask the girl to choke herself.
<mit3> you gotta pick your poison

#674850 +(720)- [X]

<drev> how was your weekend?
<LaDyLoVe> amazing! my friends threw a surprise party for my birthday :)
<drev> fuck the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party was a fucking intervention

#718587 +(493)- [X]

VisionSixTwo: In history class, our history teacher has a somewhat sporadic style of writing on the chalkboard.
VisionSixTwo: for some reason, she wrote "HitlerxMussolini". I forget why.
VisionSixTwo: I have suggested to Allison that wingfic must be written
Arch mage144: "Adolf," moaned Benito softly. "Your moustache. It tickles me so."

#737051 +(904)- [X]

<@xyst> perl made me angry last week.
<@xyst> so angry i wrote something in java instead.
<@ecoli> wtf could it have done to make you do that?
<@ecoli> that's like saying "hot naked women made me so angry i had to go slam my penis in a car door"

#832450 +(395)- [X]

Rayo :: My friend Lupe is the Santa at the Mall.
dissolve/decay :: wait, what happened?
Rayo :: He owed me money.
Rayo :: So I waited in line today with all the kids.
Rayo :: and told him to pay up in front of all the children, "kids. Santa owes me 40"
"....come on Greg...wheres your Christmas Spirit?"
"Do you want these kids to think Santa is a cheapskate?"

#856153 +(773)- [X]

<Kin68ling>   :-pd-:
<Kin68ling> two girls making out
<sadoomed> how do u know its not 2 men?
<Kin68ling> because i still have some faith left in the world

#961099 +(354)- [X]

<Nichole> my sister is giving birth on thursday. Drug baby. Apparently CPS is going to contact me to take him.
<Azalea> Ahhhhhhhh
<keith> what kind of drugs?
<keith> a baby full of drugs could be worth something
<Nichole> heroin, Oxy, meth
<Nichole> mostly heroin
<keith> expensive baby!
<blaxthos> so... your sister will be free this weekend?
<Nichole> yep have at it
<assfetish> i got this mental image of a baby shaped pinata full of drugs being broken at some wall street party
<Nichole> she's in prison
<Nichole> she makes me feel very normal
<latras> you are very normal ;)
<keith> shes still getting heroin, oxy and meth in prison?
<blaxthos> is she imprisoned because of baby ?
<keith> yeah id say your pretty normal
<Nichole> keith: she's on methadone now
<blaxthos> i think having babies should be a crime
<keith> procreating is definitely a crime
<Nichole> she's imprisoned because she broke parole, child endangerment (from first daughter), and drug related charges, and being on the run
<Azalea> That is a shitty situation
<assfetish> are you gonna take the baby?
<Nichole> i dont know
<keith> azalea needs another kid i hear
<assfetish> i have a friend who wants a kid real bad
<blaxthos> if you are on irc and you can't figure out how to unload a kid, you're doing it wrong

#961146 +(47)- [X]

<magicp2p> but the US people see an egg form as a ball, so don't say it is an egg, it is football
<icebox766> It's a more aerodynamic ball.
<Neobenedict> more aerodynamic, yet people run with it in their hands for half the game. what a waste

0.0932 21077 quotes approved; 325 quotes pending
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