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#148 +(365)- [X]

<DigDug> did you /ctcp digdug op yourpass?
<blazep88> wtf does "yourpass" do?

#3682 +(398)- [X]

<Guinivere> they have cable in Montana?
<Ouroboros> Yeah, you use it for barb-wire fences.
<Ouroboros> You know, cable.
<Ouroboros> Or for pulling your truck out of the ditch or whatever.

#3857 +(218)- [X]

<Hiko> "all the people in #bemani are child molesters"
<nitrifik_> I'm not.
<mightyflo> not according to swedish law, anyway
<nitrifik_> exactly.
<nitrifik_> I have never sexed anyone below 15, so I'm all legal.

#5414 +(107)- [X]

<cool__G> I can define 1/0
<illusionz> liar
<BeZoAR> thats like trying to define illusionz sexuality

#7145 +(429)- [X]


#8218 +(447)- [X]

<DotSPF> just got myself a shitload more lesbo porn
<killck> good?
<DotSPF> damn they have so much more fun when we're not around

#17295 +(29)- [X]

<Claus> I was a female black woman in a past life according to this site

#21889 +(200)- [X]

<SimonBob> A friend of mine was the games monitor for a linux/windows hybrid comp at school
<SimonBob> He was in charge of deleting games
<SimonBob> And he was like "Linux? That game isn't fun"

#30838 +(236)- [X]

<KingEdgar0> Woke up 30 minutes later with my left hand on my dick and my right hand on the mouse

#31549 +(28)- [X]


#34312 +(128)- [X]

<madsen> is there an online Perl-manual that resemples the php-manual. (God! That manual can bring a grown man to his knees.)
* madsen panics.
<madsen> I'm in love with a manual...!

#36518 +(399)- [X]

<qtpielucy2002> what country do ducth people live
<udderbalm> dutchovia.
<qtpielucy2002> really?

#39996 +(117)- [X]

<eukaunba> I cried when I had no shoes... but then I met a man who had no feet, and then I laughed.. REALLY hard

#46779 +(18)- [X]

TwilightKnight: omfg
TwilightKnight: i just lost 2 and a half hours of my life
TwilightKnight: to unreal tournament
DrSpaZZo: Really? I just fucking lost 4 hours of my life to fixing my laptop
DrSpaZZo: So shut the fuck up

#46799 +(291)- [X]

<NekoGirl> i wonder if half of the ppl is making idiot to appear on QDB or is just bornt that way
<Livewireo> That made no sense whatsoever
<NekoGirl> ok, remaking
<NekoGirl> i wonder if half of the ppl in here is playing idiot to appear on QDB or is just they bornt that way

#53602 +(947)- [X]

* jasn_78 then sucks ur clit as finger ur wet tight pussy
* hot_gurl_4_u grabs hold of your cock harder, moaning louder and louder, until finally her anus can take no more and she accidentally shits on your hair
<hot_gurl_4_u> hehe, sorry ;)
<jasn_78> yuck
<hot_gurl_4_u> sorry, its a medical problem :(
<-- jasn_78 has quit (Exit: )

#55784 +(23)- [X]

Dr SpaZZo: http://members.tripod.com/tempestgames/razor.jpg
Syphit: lol, who uses your razor?
Dr SpaZZo: My sister keeps fucking taking them
Dr SpaZZo: Theres like, 3 of mine in the shower...
Syphit: lol, how old is your sister?
Dr SpaZZo: 20.
Dr SpaZZo: Youd think she'd be competent to get her own damned razors, wouldnt you.
Syphit: yeah

#55882 +(182)- [X]

<Chernoskill> it's scary when people start measuring time in dowloaded megabytes...

#66373 +(247)- [X]

<cranefist> i love it when cool bands cover madonna
<zed> So that way you don't have to admit that you like Madonna?

#70562 +(790)- [X]

<CaffieneHead>  We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart.

#76691 +(359)- [X]

<The-Jim> women can tell when other women are on though.
<harr|away> this family has a dog, a cat, and just added a bird
<harr|away> The-Jim: yes, generally by pheromones
<crickett> i can tell when girls on their their period too
<crickett> generally by the shouts
<crickett> followed by the "i love you" 's
* crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link. Goodbye!)
* crickett has joined #artuproar
<The-Jim> no crickett that's not why they won't have sex with you.
<Ronwe> /nod
<crickett> i fail to see why i would be kicked for that comment
<The-Jim> Harr = woman
<crickett> thanks The-Jim
<The-Jim> Crickett = man making period jokes
<crickett> i dunno why that would offend
<crickett> i mean my slave didn't say anything about my black jokes
<crickett>  ... that might be because i cut his tongue out
* crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link. Goodbye!)

#83595 +(168)- [X]

* Treiben has bargainname.com
Azi: how much are they?
Treiben: 8.95
Azi: same as godaddy then
Azi: actually, i'd register for a decade to take care of the next 10 years at a cut rate
Azi: but i don't want to pay for 10 years and then have the human race obliterate itself in 5
Azi: that would be just my luck

#96343 +(610)- [X]

<bill``> I'm taking the AP calc test tomorrow--does anyone have any last minute tips?
<MSINISTER> dont put metal in a microwave!
<MSINISTER> good luck!

#97977 +(795)- [X]

<manero> so our friend, she's in the part of med school where  you do all the genital exams and shit
<manero> and prostrate exams, etc
<manero> and a couple weeks ago, they had to do it on a real person for the first time. and so she was very nervous
<manero> so she's doing the exam, she does the front and everything is ok
<manero> and she does the back door and she gets through it all
<manero> but at the very end, as she finishes
<manero> she didn't know how to tell the dude she was done, so she slapped him on the ass
<manero> i had tears running down my face for 10 minutes after she told the story
<blach> alright bitch, im done with your bunghole *smack
<manero> the funny part was the dude was like 60, too

#100896 +(328)- [X]

marty> So, what happened, did you date her?  What was she like...
deathcubek> Let me put it this way.  She was like an RPG.
marty> I dont get it.
deathcubek> Well... she was long, expensive, and full of monsters.

#107490 +(470)- [X]

<Torke> haha, tgp couldn't score with a chick if she came right up to him and asked to suck his dick
<Torke> because
<Torke> that happened
<Torke> and he didn't score

#116547 +(396)- [X]

<Strom> ?
<BiZZY> only doctor close to me that will check me under title 19 is my ex g/f's mom
<Strom> ...so?
<BiZZY> I know her really well
<BiZZY> kind of odd, I'd be having my groin checked
<Strom> i imagine that would make you more comfortable than having a stranger prod your groin
<BiZZY> no I'd rather have someone I don't know that I won't probly see again do it
<BiZZY> than someone whose daughter used to play with the same area

#119903 +(177)- [X]

<fintler> I'm 14176 lines of java closer to getting about $2000
<DocGonzo> maybe you can overcome the stigma that most java apps are gay
<fintler> once you ignore the stigma....it's kinda addictive
<DocGonzo> you mean like bumlove?

#128508 +(487)- [X]

<Dabz> I'm currently sat outside in the garden on a laptop, in 85 degree heat, in the shade, with a cold beer.   If I lost the laptop I could almost pass as a normal person

#162603 +(277)- [X]

BOSS: hey
BOSS: you know this one website?
A7X: yeah
A7X: thats a cool site

#166386 +(1025)- [X]

<@FirebirdGM> I just called my Futureshop and asked them how much a 20 GB Hard drive weighed when it was full with information, compared to when it was empty.
<@FirebirdGM> The guy that was on the phone told me that it was only a few pounds difference.
<@FirebirdGM> And that's why I don't shop at futureshop.
<%Physic3> I think their bullshit factor is the best though. No matter how absurd your question may be, they always give an answer.
<@Firebird> Lol, I should call again and be like 'uhh, yes. I just bought a New ACIT BIOS and my UDP Packets are being Tracert'd by my UNIX Box without my Fortran application being applied to all outgoing UDP and TCP packets. My Ping never is like that, why?!"
<@Firebird> He would probably be like 'Yes'.

#182125 +(707)- [X]

<joshua_> AaAAAAAAAAAAAAAACC.............................!

#201773 +(928)- [X]

<Jim> how big is 10 inches
<Jim> like on a computer screen
<ShyAway> somewhere around 22cm
<Jim> so how many inches would this be |-------------------------------------------|
<ShyAway> 5?
<Jim> no way
<RiotingNerd> um that would depend on your screen resolution
<RiotingNerd> if i was using like 480*600 on a 21 inch monitor that would be like 15 inches
<ShyAway> jim is measuring his man tool in hyphens
<Jim> ok if you were on windows xp how many inches would that be
<RiotingNerd> jim what resolution sir
<ShyAway> LOL
<Jim> xp professional
<RiotingNerd> no sir
<RiotingNerd> that is not a resolution
<diospadre> rofl
<Jim> but it's the newest one
<ShyAway> rofl
<diospadre> thats an os you idiot
<Jim> oh

#202659 +(237)- [X]

<Madism> i have a penis
<Defveggy> show me mine if you show me yours
<Madism> k
<Madism> 8=D
<Shinry> rofl
<Madism> its cold

#222068 +(716)- [X]

<ilifin> Crazy idea.
<ilifin> Keanu Reeves as Sauron
<ilifin> Hugo Weaving as Isildur
<ilifin> Keanu: How about I give you the finger.. and you give me back my ring.

#222596 +(780)- [X]

<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.

#258861 +(47)- [X]

<blacklegions666> is here anybody into BLACK METAL
<blacklegions666> ?
<Ne[r]d> like... living color?

#261028 +(1399)- [X]

<xenogenesis> That's nice, dear.
<xenogenesis>...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Do you see the injustice here? The accused claims to be of caucasian "pigment", if you will. However, whilst claiming to be of this race, he is attempting to sound "homie" or "black". An immediate contradiction.
<xenogenesis> Opposition rests.

#273488 +(742)- [X]

<timmyB> yeah well i intend to live forever
<timmyB> so far so good

#416976 +(439)- [X]

DarkNeo: Pedophilia is like golf,
DarkNeo: you hit for the lowest you can
DarkNeo: It's all good till it gets to 18,
DarkNeo: then the fun stops.

#417265 +(290)- [X]

<Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.

#445492 +(1346)- [X]

<redbud> so i was sitting there listening to some ska with your girlfriend
<redbud> then all of a sudden she started making sexual advances towards me
<Micah> wait a second
<Micah> nobody listens to ska

#483079 +(260)- [X]

<ajh_home> I'm not sure I can convey how uncomfortable it makes me when people just randomly come up to me.
<kyle> the funny thing is, if you killed them, it would be /you/ who gets arrested.
<kyle> what a backwards society.

#527125 +(2181)- [X]

onslaught86: Your spelling's so bad your blood must be type-o.

#633530 +(590)- [X]

<KillerB> man, while I'm excited about the interview, getting my ass up at like 1:30pm is gonna blow.

#652068 +(1157)- [X]

<yadrisil> Quit being emo.
<alexsavage> i'm not emo, the glass is half full
<yadrisil> Half full... with tears.
<alexsavage> ;_;

#687535 +(563)- [X]

xxnjbeauty23xx: im also short
xxnjbeauty23xx: but its a good thing for me because im jewish
xxnjbeauty23xx: which means im closer to the pennies

#802023 +(1854)- [X]

<rawrkitty> so today i did something awesome
<rawrkitty> i set a bag of shit on fire
<rawrkitty> and it smelled like shit
<Tabi-chan> How'd the person react?
<rawrkitty> huh
<Tabi-chan> The person who's porch you left it on
<rawrkitty> why the fuck would i do that? thats stupid

#808311 +(1179)- [X]

* nqbw is watching a pair of lesbians, one serving, one receiving.
<nqbw> To clarify, I am watching Wimbledon.

#875367 +(449)- [X]

* Omnifrog finds a flat thing to pass out on
<pastafareye> Kansas?
<IronAngel> moms chest?
<pastafareye> Bush's EEG?
<pastafareye> Cheney's EKG?
<IronAngel> obamas abs?

0.0362 20945 quotes approved; 3908 quotes pending
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