#660 +(467)- [X]
<DigDug> <hypr> dof i think hj00 lsefz haw
<DigDug> wtf did that say?
<hypr> i dunno
<hypr> what i said
#1636 +(602)- [X]
<DragonRe> gabe: what i did to you was love goddamit
<gabe> maybe in alabama.
#1903 +(408)- [X]
<Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent price increase."
#2648 +(435)- [X]
<inverse> dick is like the most popular first name for congressmen
#4173 +(661)- [X]
<johnnybad> nice guys finish last
<ScottO> isnt that what women want anyway? the guy to finish last?
#5465 +(181)- [X]
moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head hunters to even fucking return a call
<moose> "do you have a ccna?"
<moose> BITCH HAVE YOU READ MY RESUME
<moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"
#6857 +(170)- [X]
*** Sparks has quit IRC (Quit: You have never really, truly known the joys of riding on a public bus until you look around and realize that the people sitting next to you are the same ones who converse with cheese on a regular basis...)
Seraph: Nothing wrong with talking to cheese. :)
#7159 +(48)- [X]
<b|aze> i wanked my dog once
<b|aze> i was so pissed
#7375 +(260)- [X]
<Philgone> also what is wrong with keeping your penis in a woman
* Philgone strokes his cabbage patch doll
<Philgone> toasty warm
<BFG> is her name cynthia veronica picklesbury?
<Philgone> no.. roland
#7636 +(364)- [X]
<@Hah|> A lot of you are way too attached to RO. If the servers go down permanently, I wonder how all of you guys would react.
<Dekar> I'm not that attached.
<Dekar> I mean sure, I love the game.. but if It went down, I would move on.
<com4> hah: i'd kill everyone.. in this room .. if the game went down.. and then i'd eat some yogurt
<com4> cuz you know yogurt tastes good. the fruit on the bottom stuff.. rocks.. and then i'd kill people
#8046 +(33)- [X]
<norab> id fuck your leg to cryt but i havent read how to do actions yet
#8074 +(351)- [X]
<Q-Ball> Average Ejaculatory Speed
<Q-Ball> 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr).
<Q-Ball> you could kill a small mammal with that
#8752 +(430)- [X]
<Linguica> do you even know what facetious means
<pickle_hammer> yeah I am facetious
<pickle_hammer> all the way
<pickle_hammer> I go to facetious parades and stuff
#9372 +(369)- [X]
<treph> I have my computer
<treph> no job.
<treph> > i
<treph> You are carrying:
<treph> a computer
<treph> no job
#9662 +(169)- [X]
corpratewar: gah, why would somebody encode a song @ 28kbps
arkain88: Thats so small it could fit through a condom.
#10610 +(26)- [X]
#10890 +(589)- [X]
<gldnmean> I always thought "The sound of one hand clapping" would be good zen masturbation slang
#13545 +(259)- [X]
<graeme123> i dont understand
<graeme123> be more pacific
#18334 +(560)- [X]
<scabb> What's the difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist?
<MIiscool> I'm not sure, but I think the latter takes care of easier problems, which can be fixed with medication, while the former does the whole talking bit
<scabb> So if they were Pokemon, Psychologist would evolve into Psychiatrist?
<Twilo> wouldn't you need a diploma stone to do it?
<Twilo> you have to trade psychiatrist to a different university for him to evolve
#44262 +(322)- [X]
Dervish: I want boxer shorts that have text " Geek inside" in the front =)
plan-9: why? noone will ever see that
#44990 +(154)- [X]
<je> my PC died completely as it booted tonight .. lights come on but nothing happens
<je> now I'm stuck with ye olde PC that doesn't even have a good enough vid card to show flesh tones
<reverend> stop looking at pr0n
#48300 +(29)- [X]
<Inno[AoFoKu]> he has been connected to thier cocks by the lips for a while
#52412 +(624)- [X]
<Brookes_Baby> Hey does anyone have an idea of what I could get for my collection of Final Fantasy games?
<Kevyn> Not laid.
#57172 +(220)- [X]
danamania: wtf... I search on altavista for my page
danamania: and an ad at the bottom goes:
danamania: Find danamania here! www.ebay.com.au - New & second hand!
danamania: I can get a whole new me!
Vash: or a slighty used one, with a few dents
#72873 +(361)- [X]
<Ludious> I think it's delightfully ironic that the aisle across from the valentines stuff at Walmart features family size bottles of vaseline.
#78690 +(257)- [X]
<HOT_SAUCE> yeah i have it
<HOT_SAUCE> i dunno if generals is DX9
<HOT_SAUCE> but somehow, turning up EVERYTHING to super-high detail makes my game run faster than putting it on just high/medium
<HOT_SAUCE> i think my video card is autistic
<HOT_SAUCE> like that kid from mercury rising
#80426 +(144)- [X]
<Deim0s|1980> Argghh. You don't wanna know what I just did. And for the sake of my reputation, I ain't gonna tell ya. Ever.
#80648 +(76)- [X]
<+Sasuke_Uchiha> Do you know how much beer I've had today...WAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much so if I seem dumber then suaul thats wy
<+MegamanX2K> Underage drinking
<+MegamanX2K> it only kills brain cells that were never there in the first place
<+MegamanX2K> Sasuke=Poster Child
#81968 +(18)- [X]
<Virus_the_snafu> What is it with Nazis and burning things?
<Virus_the_snafu> What do you do with Books?--Burn Them! What do you do with Jews?--Burn Them! What do you do with Disabled People?--Burn Them! And Now Homeless?--Hey why not Burn Them!
<Kel> I think it had to do with the German's primitive state of mind.. "hey look! I made fire! lets put it on things and see what happens!!"
#82074 +(216)- [X]
<Chu-Chu-Rocket> dole's making it really hard for me to keep my IRC window open when my mom walks by
<Foobar> just /clear
<Chu-Chu-Rocket> yeah, but that looks suspicious
<dole> she just cut off the second rapist's dick
<dole> and left him to bleed in the bathtub
<dole> and he bled to death
* Chu-Chu-Rocket clears.
#82085 +(18)- [X]
<kryonik> IM PRO WAR AND PRO CHOICE
<kryonik> EAT ME YOU TREE HUGGING HIPPIE BASTARDS
<kryonik> oh wait
<kryonik> THEY CANT BECAUSE THEYRE ALL VEGETARIANS
#103126 +(319)- [X]
#105213 +(209)- [X]
<Airlea> it used to horrify me every time we went past a field of sheep.. he'd make all these noises. That's why he's an ex.
#137953 +(384)- [X]
<dr_binks>I think they should start rating bash quotes according to how stupid the people are, not how funny the quotes are.
#145628 +(50)- [X]
#211416 +(3662)- [X]
<+darthpony> geez dude
<+darthpony> with my last gf
<+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip
<+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I wanted to ask her "pass the sugar please"
<+darthpony> instead I said "you're ruining my life, you fucking bitch"
#233610 +(1294)- [X]
<kjones> last night i had sex with a model.
<kjones> but then the glue melted
<kjones> and one of the wings fell off.
<kjones> go figure.
#239159 +(533)- [X]
<Dave> You know, Bash should merge with SomethingAwful. Then it could be a homogenous collection of stupid and unfunny crap
<Mobsta> Something Bashful?
#255581 +(316)- [X]
<@unfnknblvbl> I love it when Outlook crashes
<@asuma> then you'll always be in love
#398708 +(253)- [X]
You6Know: oh my gah .. everytime i pee in the pool tho im scared it turns purple like that episode of Pete & Pete
#441630 +(461)- [X]
<photovoric> jesus fucking christ
<photovoric> is masturbation
#445227 +(1054)- [X]
<feste_> I had a traditional thanks giving..invited the neighbors over for dinner..then killed them and took their land!!
#511661 +(1456)- [X]
<HC-Marine> yeah one time this windows & doors company called
<HC-Marine> and my dad answered it
<HC-Marine> they asked if he wanted to have his windows and doors replaced
<HC-Marine> he responded with "I don't have any"
<HC-Marine> they were so confused
#511901 +(408)- [X]
darshanji143: hey wanna chat sex?
flyinghermione: my mommy says I can't have cybersex with strangers
#525085 +(1920)- [X]
DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full blast
DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up
DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud
DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look
DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of him
DBO: its a note
DBO: written on cardboard
DBO: help up against the window
DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm sorry you have a tiny penis"
DBO: he turned it down after that
#655875 +(703)- [X]
<HarbPBN> I got home at like 4am.
<TruckPBN> Get layed?
<ebolaaaa> Isn't it "laid"?
<TruckPBN> ebolaaaa: I'm married... I dont remember.
#664495 +(1553)- [X]
<Mod> So, how many are you inviting?
<Ned> Dunno. I'll check the random number generator.
<Ned> Oh. It says 22345780
<Ned> We're gonna have to get more dip.
#714697 +(1631)- [X]
<Daniel> The new bash quotes suck
<Nictheman> You realise if this goes on bash, you'll be part of the new quotes, and will therefore suck?
<Daniel> Fuck you.
#736856 +(43)- [X]
<+Dave2> myspace valentines messages.
<+Dave2> that sentence is 66% evil
<+Dave2> that is all
#909853 +(3232)- [X]
Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a friend
Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she can't get pregnant
lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL.