#636 +(1156)- [X]
<Anagon> IT'S UP! I GOT IT UP!
<Anagon> (no, not like that)
#1415 +(670)- [X]
<Th3Virus> watch southpark wednesday
<Th3Virus> they are gonna say "shit" on TV
<Th3Virus> no bleeps
<Spacenett> which one is it
<Spacenett> they do it all the time on paper view
<Th3Virus> paper view
#6050 +(298)- [X]
<lud> who was he? someone you know or just someone you pumped into
#7057 +(625)- [X]
<Lazarus> Anyone care to guess my sign?
<DocWebstr> "Keep Off"?
<Lazarus> Wrong Way.
<Beki> this end up? :)
<K`shandra> "Thank You - Come Again." ;-)
#8487 +(273)- [X]
<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure
<cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
#8962 +(320)- [X]
* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff
#9406 +(359)- [X]
<vim> heh, no wonder i cant hear shit... trying to play this damn redhat cd.
#11960 +(319)- [X]
<Gabooz> I wouldn't say I'm a geek
<Steve> You live at a computer, and claim you know your IP, but not your home phone #
<Steve> You're a geek
#17429 +(225)- [X]
<BluBandit> hello kitty is one cat i'd like to violate
#23390 +(295)- [X]
<klerck> I think they should build an airport at the WTC site so the planes can't miss the runway next time
#31327 +(710)- [X]
<Entil-Zha> ::creams like a girl::
<Entil-Zha> fuck you
#35494 +(250)- [X]
Mike: you don't need anything to score in college
Mike: it's like wandering around in a dark forest
Mike: eventually you hit a tree.
#37109 +(58)- [X]
* time stamps have been retained to aid in the understanding and comedy of the quote...
[18:23:03] *** NoneX (Harry@126.96.36.199) has joined channel #php
[18:23:05] <greg_oc> Channel Warning: NoneX detected in #kiddiesex
[18:23:10] *** NoneX has left #php
#37150 +(589)- [X]
<kw> heh, got woken up with a blowjob to day.. thats a seriously nice way to wake up
<Nathan> you sleeping at your parents again?
#39079 +(704)- [X]
<+EGreg> ATA? RAID? ATAPI? IDE? EIDE? SCSI? what is the world coming to?? FTP? SPAM? HTTP? HD? I have been here for a short while and already so many acronyms :-)
<+EGreg> of course there are 10x more that I know, but still. :-)
<@O_6> ever heard of 'stfu' ?
#40583 +(38)- [X]
<q|x> with an ' on the e
<q|x> well you know
<q|x> like a slanty thing
<Suparmono> we dont want them here thanks
<Suparmono> unless you mean people will crippled legs
<Suparmono> we'll shove them out of the way
#42095 +(87)- [X]
<Draco889> Chickengod got caught masturbating in school
<Cunnilingus> in his class ?
<Draco889> not sure
<Draco889> its not easy i can tell you that
<Cunnilingus> maybe he just masturbated in the toilets
<Draco889> i wonder how he fit bolth feet in
#44775 +(161)- [X]
<-- Samah has quit (Quit: public boolean hasALife() return false;)
#50384 +(197)- [X]
<SicChild> I got action with this hot chick I've been going after
<SicChild> so :P
<SicChild> so......I'm happy.
<Teknolyfe> how long did she take to blow up?
#54978 +(241)- [X]
<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo
#55940 +(392)- [X]
<cravecave> I used to have a gig of ram
<cravecave> then one stick went limp and even viagra couldnt help it, now it just prematurely ejaculates and XP, being the slut she is, doesnt like when that happens and has a fit
* harrellj looks at cravecave
* Astral does too
* harrellj puts that in her quit messages
<cravecave> All I was trying to say was I'm only half the system I used to be
#56074 +(1417)- [X]
<@exit2eden9> my mother just told me the funniest story ever
<@exit2eden9> she was in the supermarket before, and this person in front of her was fighting with her toddler...who kept taking candy off the rack and putting it in the cart...
<@exit2eden9> she was saying "no...you cannot have candy...it is almost dinner time and you cant have any" and this is going on for a while
<@exit2eden9> so the kid yells really loud:
<@exit2eden9> "if you dont let me have candy im gonna call gramma and tell her you had daddy's peepee in your mouth"
<@exit2eden9> the woman ran out of the store...left all her groceries there
#57161 +(135)- [X]
<Babau> Anyone know how to enable overburn in Nero?
<live-evil> theres a big button with overburn written on it
<live-evil> press that
<Babau> Is it the big red one?
<Babau> Alright, I'm going to press it.
*** live-evil was kicked by Babau (I pressed it.)
#73059 +(1667)- [X]
<devoid> did you know what dell dude got busted for pot
<SSSXIII> yeah ;D
<devoid> it confuses me because i always thought marijuana was a gateway drug
#89413 +(51)- [X]
<ImpLin> i need to call my GF
* ImpLin initiates call
<ImpLin> no one be home
<ImpLin> my friend isnt home either
<ImpLin> guess ill have to settle for you all :(
#98911 +(330)- [X]
<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off images", it only refers to inline images. Which is why it's safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl. I think it's obvious how I figured this out.
#105744 +(169)- [X]
<CausticGnome> so, i was in the garage, smoking, when I saw the book the jehovas witnesses gave me about the end of the world
<CausticGnome> entitled: "Revelation Its Grand Climax At Hand!"
#105939 +(186)- [X]
<MikeSweetser> I've seen DAP pics before.
<MikeSweetser> And DAFP pics as well.
<JamesFnX> Mike: DAFP?
<MikeSweetser> Double Anal Fist Penetration.
<P|MP> "find your keys yet?" :)
#114358 +(488)- [X]
(maddox@) I just thought of a joke, I don't know if someone has already made this up, but here it goes: What actor would Christopher Reeve be if he could trade places with anyone? Christopher Walken
#117663 +(489)- [X]
*** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc
<Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch!
<screevo> Doesnt that hurt?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!
#124554 +(530)- [X]
<infamous>my old man always said, the day I cant do my job drunk is the day I turn in my badge and gun...
#137733 +(393)- [X]
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.
#151296 +(1245)- [X]
<mystican> my sister gave me some socks and they say on them "too much wiggling of your joystick makes your eyes go funny"
<endura> myst u should use those socks as wank socks
<endura> then when they are orange make ur sister wash them
#283364 +(225)- [X]
<ideal`> The cable television network YTN estimated that up to 3,000 people had been killed or injured in huge explosions that followed the collision of a train carrying gasoline and a second carrying liquefied petroleum gas.
<ideal`> talk about an unlucky turn of events
<AtriumXP> Yeah, our gas prices are going to go up :(
#283657 +(1180)- [X]
<[FU]HiTechOutlaw> ;o :(
<Nomad> I swear if I ever see you "correct" a smiley again, I'm going to kill you.
#333424 +(184)- [X]
<kn1ves> How do you think Jesse Jackson would react if he got asked to answer the white courtesy phone?
#402202 +(16)- [X]
<Mr-d> How do you make love to a fat girl?
<Graham> Slap and ride the waves?
#521743 +(1087)- [X]
<megamobike> my mom taught me a very important lesson today
<ccrookedrrain> no means no?
#527125 +(2204)- [X]
onslaught86: Your spelling's so bad your blood must be type-o.
#610088 +(428)- [X]
ARcanUS NUMquam: night is sitll young
live billboard: virginal
ARcanUS NUMquam: the barrier between today and tommorrow has barely been pressured
live billboard: but soon it will be penetrated
live billboard: father time will thrust his way into the young tommorrow
ARcanUS NUMquam: using his tool that he nicknamed the "second hand" when it strikes 12
#620757 +(225)- [X]
Mizz0Spiegel: There were so many southerners in florida
Shinigaami: Uhh, maybe that's because Florida's in the south.
#678538 +(233)- [X]
<Kojo> Nobody wants to star in my Star Wars porn video :(
<Kojo> The truth behind the scenes:
<Kojo> "Han Shot First"
#732717 +(395)- [X]
<blazeboy>you dont have to be willing
<blazeboy>only unwilling to file charges
#755535 +(802)- [X]
<mithro> anyone know how to get find to remove all files which are older then 7 days?
<cherez> I tried to google to help that
<cherez> thinking to search a man page
<cherez> "find older man"
<cherez> it was bad :(
<cherez> real bad...
#772166 +(2257)- [X]
<Spast> I'm going to be the next Hitler
<Spast> I'm going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<AssA> good, i hate clowns.
#806948 +(614)- [X]
bmp: I'm a strangulation risk
bmp: recall me
lord: contains small parts
lord: keep away from children (for other reasons)
#811184 +(1408)- [X]
<IZZY4EL> Whats gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
<IZZY4EL> a seat-belt
#841903 +(405)- [X]
<ZS-Hawk> When I turned 18, I got a gillette mach 3 in the mail from the air force I think. I opened it up in front of my parents, and my dad says "ooh, nice razor! I'm going to do to that one what you do with mine!" and before he could finish his sentence, I said "noo! Don't shave your balls with my razor!" and before he could think, he laughingly said "no, I mean beat it on the sink until the blades are all crooked!"
<ZS-Hawk> About 10 minutes of my mom giggling and my dad realized what I said, but I was out the door. It never came up again.
#858252 +(1017)- [X]
Eldragon: seriously the level of public debate in this country is about the same as an elementary school yard
Eldragon: Wolf Blitzer: This just in from the tether ball Court, Obama's friend said Ms. Clinton has cooties.
#939691 +(627)- [X]
Venificus: Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?