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#158 +(508)- [X]

I have gone to look for myself, if I should return, before I get back, keep me here. - unknown

#786 +(170)- [X]

(Erich) i can run faster than a blood hound
(zp) Erich: all the free niggas can, thats why they're free

#2069 +(1080)- [X]

<Daz-D3> wanna see somethin funny ld?
<LordDeath> No. Please pull your pants back up.

#3551 +(137)- [X]

<GiRLiE> hey it was funny the doc asked me if I have blood in my urine
<GiRLiE> thought of u

#3704 +(33)- [X]

<gecko__> i just oiled up my cats ass,but now when i try to boff him he slips away!
<gecko__> =[~!
<Esad> i knew there was a reason i hated cats

#3894 +(156)- [X]

<gc> it would take approximatly 40 286's to equals the power of your average 1 GHz desktop
<cabbage> um, where did you pull that crap from?
<gc> do the math
<cabbage> haha
<ian> what math
<_gene> well you know .. THE math ;)
<jwzrd-> gc: are you adding clockspeed here ?
<gc> no its the cache,

#4099 +(374)- [X]

(ALF) KMFDM: you havent blown your load in so long, the next bitch will prolly have to chew before she swallows

#5718 +(333)- [X]

[OutLore  ] OMFG
[Lord-Data] OutLore: OYFG!

#6753 +(163)- [X]

<CyberPunkWanabe> I broke my new stereo that I got after christmas cause I broke the one I got for christmas..
<CyberPunkWanabe> I shouldnt be allowed within 10 ft of electronics

#7453 +(396)- [X]

<Kefka_> Rap is for people who need to be influenced by a culture of uneducated fools who have primary goals of "ballin" and becoming fly by having a dope ride.

#8732 +(214)- [X]

<LordBlink> i once made out with a picture of the sorceress
<LordBlink> does that make me lame?

#10957 +(259)- [X]

<Kateryne> brb
<Kateryne> back
<Malcavious> front
<Kateryne> side
<Malcavious> middle
<Malcavious> other side =P
<Zarakinthish> bottom
<Zarakinthish> top
<Malcavious> no i wanna be on top
<Zarakinthish> Of who exactly?
<Kateryne> ....dude....
<Kateryne> ew.

#12066 +(255)- [X]

<Toby> cheese whiz sucks.
<Toby> there's nothing but.. cheese. no peppers or anything to add flavor.
* bipolaroid sets mode: +b *!*@
* bipolaroid has kicked Toby from #Animorphs (blaspheming bastard)

#12105 +(225)- [X]

<blaz1n> if a chick clones herself... and proceeds to basically have sex... would she be a lesbian? or just would she be masturbating?

#16592 +(12)- [X]

<RtWh0> garlic ok you and me right here right now
* GaRlic_iv puts up his dukes
* GaRlic_iv ... wait.. i got fuckin no dukes
* RtWh0 pulls out ding dong and swings it around like a whip and cuts Garlics head off
<RtWh0> then some guy yells FATALITY
<RtWh0> in a mean vioce
<GaRlic_iv> RtWh0 pulls out ding dong
<GaRlic_iv> i hope thats not your dogs name dude

#22112 +(1861)- [X]

<Feeldeath> Man i had a bad day !!!
<Formin> o great =( what happened?
<Feeldeath> well i was masturbating on my couche an I fell of
<Formin> hahaha o god
<Feeldeath> thats not the worst part. i hit my head on the coffee table and knocked myself out and my mom came in and found me unconscience on the floor with my dick in one hand and a porn mag in the other.
<Formin> lmao

#22571 +(307)- [X]

<+Normandy> How poor is this.
<+Normandy> that exercise bike I've been lookin forward to start building my leg muscles for the summer finally arrived today
<+Normandy> yet I'm carryin it upstairs and twat it against my knee, and now my uncle who is a doctor says i cant exert any pressure on it for 2 bloody months

#22724 +(132)- [X]

<jehodgson> do fighter pilots actually wear bras on their heads?

#26541 +(120)- [X]

<DireBadger> Public Enemy in effect @ Nation, 9/19
<DireBadger> one of the bands playing with them is "Blackalicious"
<argent> Blackalicious is pretty good
<DireBadger> argent: are they like a De la Soul type band?
<argent> DireBadger: yes, in that they are black.

#36214 +(421)- [X]

<punchcard_uc> tier 1 techs dont know shit
<punchcard_uc> all they have to do is read from a script
<punchcard_uc> first thing you do is ask for a tier 2 tech
<DomMac> I just ask for someone smarter
<DomMac> as soon as they answer the phone
<DomMac> "hello.... this is support"
<DomMac> "gimme someone smarter than you"

#41335 +(1489)- [X]

<surfer_girl> hi
<negativepositive> your nick has "scary 40 year old naked guy" written all over it
<surfer_girl> asl plz
<negativepositive> that just drives it home

#41801 +(281)- [X]

<zerg> if you ever got pregnant would you get an abortion?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> adoption?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> keep it?
<S4L3M> of course!! i prefer to know my spawns so i can bestow upon them all my evilness and evil ways and evil knowledge...
<S4L3M> how else will i ever rule the world? fool.

#48133 +(273)- [X]

<Phillip> hi ex-wife
<Phillip> whats up
<FullySedated> my dick
<FullySedated> why?
<Phillip> never say that again

#48163 +(126)- [X]

<bunnyfufu> DAMNIT
<bunnyfufu> MY BALLS HURT
<FlyingAttackPorcupine> stop eating them
<bunnyfufu> if only that was possible

#52503 +(1044)- [X]

<neural> i wish my motherboard would find a fatherboard so i could have anotherboard

#56259 +(518)- [X]

<tHeo^doctor-appt`> this is prolly too much information
<tHeo^doctor-appt`> but I haven't been able to get off in like a month or something
<Miyabi> dude, your nuts must be huge
<Miyabi> i mean, as a result
<Miyabi> that wasn't random props

#74855 +(132)- [X]

< kara> Take Highway 40 West to the Clayton-Skinker Exit. Turn right and at the third stoplight turn left onto Forsyth Blvd. The campus is on your right and Olin Library is in the center of campus.
< kara> ack, sorry
< BB> doesnt bother me, i'm just wondering where i'm goin ;)

#75988 +(182)- [X]

<PuffinFreshWog> when people call me fat, i grab my man boobs and jiggle then around a bit

#76005 +(221)- [X]

<AOG> http://Jake.youaremyfriend.com
<Jake> http://Who.Thehellareyou.com ?

#94094 +(620)- [X]

<Doodleheimer> To all the girls here: What's it like having boobs?
<Doodleheimer> I just have some questions about them.
<Peter_Griffin> Doodle wants to know if he scans his hand and sends to you and you rub it on your chest if it still counts as getting to second base.

#100103 +(1839)- [X]

<jebus_Y2k> Here are some helpful hints just in case you may want to send me a virus.
<jebus_Y2k> 1. Don't threaten me repeatedly before you send the virus.
<jebus_Y2k> 2. Don't attatch the virus to a message that says "SUCK THIS, BITCH".
<jebus_Y2k> 3. Don't name it virus.exe.

#138546 +(200)- [X]

<BoZo> Hmmm, this is scary, I was writing something today (with pen and paper!) and then I made an error and for like 5 seconds I wanted to undo :/       <BoZo> With a Ctrl+Z
<kdub> haha
<FyreDaug> BoZo you geek
<kdub> i was drawing something on a piece of paper in class
<kdub> and a computer was right in front of me too
<kdub> when i messed up drawing
<BoZo> It felt weird :p
<kdub> i reached up and hit ctrl-z
<BoZo> haha

#146191 +(241)- [X]

<FlypServ> ive only known two eq addicted people, one grew up and the other dumped me to work on her character

#147497 +(415)- [X]

<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'

#147509 +(413)- [X]

<Trippin^Chick> it wouldnt hurt to talk u know
<Trippin^Chick> i know coz i talk all the time
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
* Trippin^Chick shrugs
<Trippin^Chick> can i lie?
<Hash_Pipe> im a cop you idiot
<Trippin^Chick> cool
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> Hash_Pipe...has any1 ever had the heart to tell u that ur boring?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Trippin^Chick> who was whining?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Hash_Pipe> i hope you leave enough room for my fist because im going to ram it into your stomach
<Trippin^Chick> ur not a very nice person r u Hash?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......

#150031 +(1025)- [X]

<dreamwraith> I am going to create a Nicotine Golem.  I will call him son and he will call me father and we will bond.  At night, I will lick him.
<dreamwraith> I WANT A CIGARETTE.  That is all.

#166078 +(1428)- [X]

<Elzie_Ann> I love how God tries to mass murder the Israelites like a million times in exodus
<Elzie_Ann> And Moses has to calm him down every time
<Elzie_Ann> <God> ARGH MUST KILL MY PEOPLE WHO SUCK <Moses> Wait they didn't mean it  <God> k but next time they're dying. <Moses> Dammit guys, stop pissing God off

#205408 +(6027)- [X]

<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two"

#222596 +(793)- [X]

<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.

#243374 +(1397)- [X]

<Pablissimo> You wish that your customer part know more thing on the others players or on your very new entity faggot of data? Are the server->client messages to you of aucuns help (too much heavy to manage since all the customers must have access to these values with each frame)? You feel that the file delta.lst could be useful but include/understand you nothing there?
<Pablissimo> can someome make that make sense in english, babelfish is clearly underperforming here
<Pablissimo> for instance, the word 'faggot' was a surprise

#269849 +(21)- [X]

<@smash> my friends dad is stationed there at one of its borders.. some secret military shit.. but the surprising part is.. canada has a military which does stuff... :P
<+JP2> yeh they get coffee for the american soldiers

#330261 +(19103)- [X]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

#432386 +(3403)- [X]

<Zoli> I wrote some norse death metal rap earlier today
<Zoli> of course I'd recite it for you!
<Zoli> NORSE. (crazy motherfucker with a longship baby)
<Zoli> NORSE (gunna kick your ass and I don't mean maybe)
<Zoli> NORSE. (crazy motherfucker with a longship baby)
<Zoli> fin.

#536971 +(728)- [X]

<Jess> When I asked my Gyno if he could make it feel good,
<Jess> he looked at me in a really weird way and moved his hand back out.

#599113 +(546)- [X]

<brukA> I'd hire a pornstar. Everytime I see one they're hard at work.

#628327 +(449)- [X]

* Gakl grumbles.
<Gakl> you can put linux on an ipod, but you can't access an ipod from linux. blech
<Summoner> well yeah.  Porting an OS gives a much bigger epenis than porting an IO driver

#701063 +(519)- [X]

<fugi> a friend of mine just got a dog from a vietnamese family today, I suggested he name it Chewy.
<b0rked> why?
<fugi> why else would vietnamese get rid of a dog?

#704110 +(1248)- [X]

BluECliQ: believing that Mcafee is going to protect you from hackers and viruses is exactly like believing that republicans can actually protect you from terrorists

#796651 +(2277)- [X]

<pritch> jeez
<pritch> sauron couldve got the one ring on ebay for 4.99
<pritch> oh wait
<pritch> excludes delivery to mordor
<fragglet> one does not simply deliver to mordor

#947988 +(557)- [X]

<skydrome> man why are there so many diff aur packages of chromium :/ so confusing
<xhazk> skydrome: No manual entry for why are there so many diff aur packages of chromium :/ so confusing

0.0743 21057 quotes approved; 2118 quotes pending
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