#69 +(1435)- [X]
<spleenex> EQ is like a 3D AOL chatroom with monsters :/
#133 +(1573)- [X]
<Bobby20> I had this really weird dream once that I dropped my penis in the shower and I couldn't get it to go back on
#354 +(1512)- [X]
*** Penfold has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
*** Penfold (email@example.com) has joined #keble
<Penfold> Excess flood my arse
<Ganesh> no thanks
#359 +(59)- [X]
<nou> See, I can give women orgasms just by talking to them.
<Art> Hmm. It generally helps if you plug in *both* ends of an ethernet cable.
#650 +(391)- [X]
<Auspex> how do i decompile a .c in windows?
#2718 +(827)- [X]
<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan are gifs and jpgs
#4232 +(285)- [X]
<ian__> Am I gay?
<ian__> i knew something wasn't quite right
#4734 +(16)- [X]
<BurntAsh> you know what was funny
<BurntAsh> when aalyiah died
<BurntAsh> man i hated that bitch
<BurntAsh> she wont be dusting herself off and trying again anytime soon
#7659 +(793)- [X]
<xwred1> hmm... do you recommend I replace windows me? I have lots of friends, I can wares lunix for free. thats what hackers use, isn't it?
<TheOnyx> You want to warez linux?
<xwred1> you have to, I hear that unix stuff is expensive. windows me came with my gateway, I tried to ask them for lunix but they told me not to get it because it was buggy and stuff
#8015 +(27)- [X]
<BCow> Often I see the first year students strut past in their skin tight white outfits and I just drop my dacks and say, "Over here girls!"
#8474 +(517)- [X]
[03:01]<monkey1> at least im not on IRC at 3 AM!
#9091 +(144)- [X]
<Nomel> i'll have to bring it over later today...we can go for a ride...
<Nomel> its funny stopping fast in front of people...cause there like..oh shit...its a pinto...its gunna blow....but that only works on old people...
<Nomel> cause the young ones dont know what pintos look like...
#9143 +(24)- [X]
<waffle> <+SKubber> as if I'd remember all my one night stands. <+SKubber> hehehe maybe I COULD remember them by smell
<Proz512> He remembers by the smell of one's colon
#10893 +(206)- [X]
<octal> i think meeting lots of cute/etc. girls is easier if you're deaf and thus can tolerate raves.
#14373 +(279)- [X]
<Despot> I just had a dream about cheese and eating it
<Despot> the cheese had eyes and kept looking at me
<Despot> thats all go back to work
#14833 +(504)- [X]
#21860 +(450)- [X]
<McCheese> Under da sea...
<McCheese> Hi McCheese, how ya doin?
McCheese (McCheese@e43712c2.res.east.36f5c1fe.net.hmsk) is now known as Bobbie
<Bobbie> I'm doing fine
Bobbie (McCheese@e43712c2.res.east.36f5c1fe.net.hmsk) is now known as McCheese
<McCheese> oh shit, I screwed that up :)
<McCheese> BAH, I mean :(
<@Technogeek> Get help.
#26741 +(532)- [X]
<Ouroboros> You know, I think the modern-day computer tech replaces, to some extent, the mystic of ancient times.
<Ouroboros> Here we have these strange, inexplicable boxes that are sometimes possessed by demons, and the mystic comes and opens the sacred box and waves his magic charms and things and somehow exorcises the spirits and makes everything good and whole again.
<Ouroboros> Then he takes all your money and disappears.
#33957 +(318)- [X]
<scout> woohoo! the FORTRAN code works!
* gus blinks
<gus> dude, is it 1977 again and nobody told me ?
#40506 +(103)- [X]
#42721 +(834)- [X]
<Sprint_DSL> Are you still living in the wang of the US?
<POPOON> Your mother is.
<Sprint_DSL> That would have been good like, 10 years ago.
<POPOON> Your mother was.
#43207 +(202)- [X]
<sev> asus makes shitty mobos
<sev> overpriced too.
--> omega (medusa_a@A4B2D84.20510306.1C9FC6DF.IP) has joined #hell
--- ChanServ gives channel operator status to omega
--- ChanServ sets mode +a #hell omega
<asus> loud out laugh's
<asus> i have 3
<sev> i have 1
<sev> but it's dead
<omega> I have 0
* omega wonders what the convo was
<sev> japanese love slaves.
<omega> yeah, I have 0
#44008 +(361)- [X]
<kmad> someone should make insecure-or-not.com
<kmad> and instead of 1-10
<kmad> it would just have a 'yes'
#45070 +(441)- [X]
<pubatch> my night was much less exciting, I had to explain to my xgirlfriend why I gave her mother the finger last night. it was a big misunderstanding, but i didnt handle it well. "Did you give my mom the finger last night??" 'HAHAH, YES! HAHA'
#45148 +(227)- [X]
<e3^Tony-M-LD> how do u get pics from your digital camera to your cpu - i plugged the cord into the usb now what? pm me
<UsTeD> you sound like a macintosh switchover commercial :/
#45405 +(152)- [X]
<PARAD0X> what if I dont have 8 mb ram, or am not capable of 16 colors on the graphics card.
<Xalnop> if you don't have 8 mb of ram, you can't be connected to the internet... it's a rule
#46671 +(292)- [X]
<flawed> if you go test drive a jaguar they should give you a free neon
<flawed> as a gift
#50760 +(16)- [X]
<SuperMegaGeek145> this is a really gooooood movie
<xTaVx> You need a paper towel?
<SuperMegaGeek145> good, commercial
#53179 +(1885)- [X]
<@TheRef>My girlfriend caught me sleep-wanking last night
<hoochy>lol, typo. i'm a post that to bash
<@TheRef>Dude, that wasn't a typo.
#69685 +(432)- [X]
<+AnimeFreak> X-Bahamut, did i have a fag count of 31?
<@Tenchi> I'm sure your fag count is much higher.
#71853 +(284)- [X]
<ZiR0> whenever i clean my glasses, my monitor becomes dirty as hell
#75069 +(133)- [X]
<K-sPecial> i'm trying to fork a server connection for every client that connects
<K-sPecial> although i dont want to writ 200 forks down my main perl script
<fxn> K-sPecial: you can limit your childs if you want
<rastakid> fxn: By using protection you mean?
#76251 +(197)- [X]
<Model192> about 10 mins after i logged off last night i blew chunks
<Strife> chunks = your boyfriend?
#101490 +(524)- [X]
<rioter> i heard a car accident last night
<rioter> and laughed
<rioter> then my mum knocked on my door and was like your sister had car acident out side your door and you didnt come out
<rioter> and i laughed even harder
#104341 +(965)- [X]
<DocGonzo> i need to shoot myself in the face... i accidentally typed "the" instead of "teh", so i backspaced and fixed it
#104725 +(207)- [X]
<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!
#105621 +(370)- [X]
<Atomsk> I think my cousin just died trying to breakdance to 50 cent
#126424 +(577)- [X]
<Jolene> so, when they landed on the moon, why cant u see the stars in the pictures they took?
<chippy> it was daytime
#138868 +(357)- [X]
<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail
#161881 +(457)- [X]
<-- aroariaN has quit (Quit: Connection Reset by Mexicans with wirecutters)
#193646 +(2439)- [X]
<Bonz> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full.
#302824 +(2521)- [X]
<crumpiano> i just discovered a revolutionary way to piss off my neighbor
<crumpiano> i can play porn and broadcast the audio out over the frequency of the radio station hes listening to
<crumpiano> he cant tell me to turn it down when its HIS stereo
<MAME> you're an asshole
#420439 +(360)- [X]
<@Casper> Girl from work and I went to the pool hall
<@Casper> I asked her if she wanted to start talking
<@Casper> She said we would talk about it tomorrow
<@Casper> She has a nice looking sister too
<@cypher> start talking about what?
<@Casper> going out
<@cypher> people _plan_ relationship status?
<Vehementi> not only do they plan relationship status, they plan *talking* about relationship status.
<Vehementi> later in the relationship this is more commonly known as the "Let's talk about our relationship" trap
<@cypher> Vehementi: <3
<sh> new Relationship;
#475174 +(601)- [X]
<Ashpool> I have offically reached full bachelorhood. Use a plate...then chuck it out.
<SirPNut> sif need plate.. eat it straight from the frypan
<@Agg> plate? pfft, amateur. when you eat directly off the table, magazines, chairs, etc..
<SirPNut> then throw the frypan out
<@aftahours> cook everything in the one pot, drain the pot then eat outta the pot :) tastes better that way
<@Agg> or with my cooking, pour the food out of the pot and eat the pot, it's more tasty
#491614 +(2376)- [X]
<SirCourage> So anyways, I knew at 1:30 am this morning that my english paper would not be finished, so I opened up mirc.exe in notepad, saved it as a .txt, emailed it to my school email and told them that their email server must have ruined my paper. I got an A- :D
#505242 +(2192)- [X]
<Zoiks> its my birthday in two weeks :D
<Zoiks> I'mma throw a big party and invite all my friends
<Zoiks> shit dude, I need to start making plans
<+madhtr003> and friends
#595758 +(1269)- [X]
(dez) I had to write an essay about handicapped parking spots
(dez) I chose to write about how fat people are not handicapped
(dez) And how they should get special parking spots at the end of the lot
#718587 +(473)- [X]
VisionSixTwo: In history class, our history teacher has a somewhat sporadic style of writing on the chalkboard.
VisionSixTwo: for some reason, she wrote "HitlerxMussolini". I forget why.
VisionSixTwo: I have suggested to Allison that wingfic must be written
Arch mage144: "Adolf," moaned Benito softly. "Your moustache. It tickles me so."
#736624 +(465)- [X]
Rosh: she said she has 24 h walgreen by her place
Rosh: but she doesnt know if it opens at 6.30 or 7
#925493 +(309)- [X]
<Party> asians are cool, it's the closest your ever gonna get to fucking an alien