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#1497 +(692)- [X]

<MrP-> i have pillows shipped UPS so when i get them they are already pre pounded and fluffy

#2680 +(706)- [X]

~ frOsty- giggles.. in a manly, tesrosterone-filled sort of way.

#2812 +(323)- [X]

<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses

#2837 +(370)- [X]

<maff> yoga fire!
<timmo> yoga flame!
<maff> if you were dhalism right now, I bet you'd get stopped in the airport.

#3021 +(204)- [X]


#3761 +(483)- [X]

<[ric]> although.... dark makeup (check)... peircings (check)... wearing black (check)... leather & studded wristbands (check)... mad stare (check)
<[ric]> she has all the hallmarks of a good date if you ask me... now if we could just add a some mental instability and bizarre drinking habbits then we have my perfect woman

#4008 +(471)- [X]

<evil-guru> if the Bible says Pi equals 3, the Pi must equal 3
<j-la> Thou shalt not reckon in decimals.

#6125 +(454)- [X]

<HrdwrBoB_> they are poo :)
<HrdwrBoB_> but hten
<HrdwrBoB_> they are not poo
<HrdwrBoB_> so they are poo and not poo AT THE SAME TIME!!
<Fryboy> quantum poo

#7565 +(329)- [X]

<rbgrn> The author put up $10,000 for anyone that could find any hole in qmail over the coarse of 2 years
<rbgrn> no one did.
<foop> because nobody cared

#7639 +(203)- [X]

<Deth> dont drink open soda cans that are a week old
<o|ooo|o|> not only was it flat, but it had a layer of dust

#7781 +(418)- [X]

<n2d2> i didnt put bon jovi in the playlist
<n2d2> oh my god
<chaobacca> 11:36:54
<chaobacca> Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine
<n2d2> my bon jovi mp3s have become self-aware

#12154 +(152)- [X]

<Kibe-Work> btw
<Kibe-Work> wednesday adventure world
<Kibe-Work> my work is going
<Kibe-Work> well most of us
<Semicidal> AHehAEh cool]
<Psycho1> heh Internet admins at adventure world be like Black people at a KKK meating.

#16730 +(1818)- [X]

*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah.  Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#16813 +(124)- [X]

<B-ob> if (sleep < 0) then talk = null
<Stonefish> oh smeg off

#23470 +(107)- [X]

<D1> we used to have "Secret Massages" in english class
<kisama> where you'd rub the guy's dick
<kisama> under the desks
<D1> extacly!

#35521 +(595)- [X]

<_sho_> Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra?
<RichiH> _sho_: that was so bad, it hurt

#36408 +(353)- [X]

<Selfloathing> I used to have a tan, but then I lost it.
<Boogaleeboo> I always get a tan before winter
<anna_jpg> Tan is not the color cheetos leaves on your fingers.

#37648 +(431)- [X]

WaCKo3629: ......
WaCKo3629: I don't see how you could accidentally do that.
WaCKo3629: Or not realize what would happen.

#40594 +(321)- [X]

<Reeve> Every freaking time I ask for a Big Kid's Meal at this one Burger King they give me a Kid's Meal
<Elmina> The big is in your pants.
<Reeve> Damn right it is
<Reeve> But I'd appreciate it if it could also be in my burger once in a while
<Elmina> Reevey wants to have sex with burgers! :>

#41326 +(268)- [X]

<test4> ive been tied up before with ethernet cable to my bedpost

#44550 +(62)- [X]

<squall999991> whats a psx
<squall999991> what the psx look like
<squall999991> hey so is the psx beter than the playstation

#49259 +(50)- [X]

<MindGamez> omg that commercial would have been so funny if the little girl had asked santa for a 7 and a quarter inch penis instead of a stereo system or whatever

#51615 +(447)- [X]

<TunkeyMicket> HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

#53457 +(112)- [X]

<TreeSquid> he's not foreign, just stupid

#53669 +(265)- [X]

<MeatEating> why in the name of fuck are we talking about Star Trek?
<MeatEating> I think I'll leave again temporarily
<Uncle_Matt> Or you could leave temporally, in a way pleasing to us Trekkies.

#54040 +(281)- [X]

<XtG|HW> and only an uncle would beat the shit out of the great hio after hio hit a manoower truck
<TheGreatHio> manoower?
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TheGreatHio> i think you mean Manure
<XtG|HW> no
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> WTF is that
<XtG|HW> poop
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> BWAHAHAH   MANURE!
<XtG|HW> shit.

#57041 +(235)- [X]

<MadHatt3r> if you were around men 24 hours a day, for quite a few years
<MadHatt3r> the idea of hetro and homosexuality would go flying out the window
<Jeeeeebus> MadHatt3r: remind me not to spend long periods of time with you..

#60633 +(468)- [X]

<perlplexer> perldoc .eh
<perldoc> .eh is western sahara
<perlplexer> hmm, i was expecting Canada
<deus> unfortunately no registrar exists for .eh
<deus> or i would get aboot.eh
<deus> and start irc'ing in #ontario and #vancouver from what.is.this.all.aboot.eh

#71125 +(560)- [X]

<+sic6sic> HOLY FUCK!
<+sic6sic> i just found a cd full of pr0n i forgot i had
<+sic6sic> }=]
* +sic6sic is gone (reason: uhhhhh...uhm.....sleeping? )

#76045 +(234)- [X]

<sexygurlah> well ya he's kinda nice n everything..
<mAdmAn6> i guess its ok with you
<sexygurlah> we had sex together already, it was pretty great, actually
<mAdmAn6> oohh.. thats fast
<ohlyo> erm, now i wanna get laid.
<sexygurlah> one thing annoys me - my balls slap so hard when i'm having sex with him
<ohlyo> o_O
<mAdmAn6> ugh. you still wanna get laid?

#81948 +(45)- [X]

<@een> dude
<@een> today
<@een> i got so frustrated with this old man (took 30 minutes to create a dial up netowrking connection) that i finally told him that he had an ID 10 T keyboard error
<@een> and that he needed to call compaq
<@een> seriously couldn't backspace to delete out "MY CONNECTION" or even highlight to delete
<@een> fucking id10ts

#114352 +(2261)- [X]

Spoon35: http://www.oddworldz.com/fmweekly/kellypinup.jpg
SenorWeird: who?
Momog: hehe
SenorWeird: who is that?
Momog: kelly hu = the wolverine chick from xmen
SenorWeird: Kelly who?
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly?
Momog: heh
Momog: it's a trap!
SenorWeird: Just tell me the chick's name. It's Kelly what?
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: ?!
SenorWeird: The chick you just posted a picture of!
Spoon35: Hu
SenorWeird: That's what I wanna know! Kelly who!
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: So it's Kelly Exactly!
* Marty11 Laughs in the strange confusion
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: The girl in the picture you posted is Kelly Exactly
Momog: Hu, Kelly.
Momog: HA!
SenorWeird: Yes, Kelly, Momog.
Spoon35: Kelly Momog??
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly
Momog: doh
SenorWeird: Okay, you know what? Forget this.
SenorWeird: Let's talk about that hot chick in Mulholland Drive and The Ring.
SenorWeird: What's her name?
Momog: who?
SenorWeird: her name
Spoon35: Watts.
SenorWeird: yes, I think my question was quite clear.
Spoon35: Watts.
* Momog covers his ears and screams
SenorWeird: are you not understanding me?
SenorWeird: Who is the chick from The Ring?
Spoon35: I think I understand. you want to know Watts.
SenorWeird: Not What, who. Who is the chick from The Ring.
Spoon35: no, Watts is the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Who is?
Spoon35: no, she was in X2
SenorWeird: What?!
Spoon35: exactly.
SenorWeird: Exactly was in X2. okay.
SenorWeird: so then Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: Hu was.
SenorWeird: Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: no. Watts was in the Ring. Hu was in X2.
SenorWeird: Exactly. Now, let's get back to the Ring. What's that chick's name?
Spoon35: watts.
SenorWeird: okay, I'm lost.
SenorWeird: What's the name of the chick from X2?
Spoon35: no, Watts is the name of the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Forget about the ring. I don't want to hear about Who was in the ring.
Spoon35: watts
SenorWeird: Am I not clear? Who was in X2?
Spoon35: yes.
SenorWeird: Yes?
SenorWeird: Yes what?
Spoon35: Yes Hu! No Watts.
SenorWeird: ....
SenorWeird: What?!
Momog: i am logging this and using it as blackmail against you both
SenorWeird: oh, this is either genius or stupidity.

#144895 +(518)- [X]

(+Apoc`) u wont believe what happened.
(@povo) what?
(+Apoc`) i copied a speech from the net
(+Apoc`) didnt read it at all
(+Apoc`) until i read it in class
(+Apoc`) it full had swearin n shit in it
(+Apoc`) like
(+Apoc`) eating cunt and suckin cock
(@povo) you actually read the swear words?
(+Apoc`) yer man
(+Apoc`) :s
(@povo) owned

#191350 +(324)- [X]

<Rayt> I blame Jesus for everything
<Rayt> Allah is kewl in my book
<Rayt> If you can convince people to blow themself up in your name, you've done well in life

#240899 +(739)- [X]

Keladry43:    i am very bad at crabble
Stumacha:    obviously
Keladry43:    uh. yeah. dammit.

#268496 +(813)- [X]

<FuriousC> my computer is performing more illegal operations than doctor kevorkian

#269849 +(26)- [X]

<@smash> my friends dad is stationed there at one of its borders.. some secret military shit.. but the surprising part is.. canada has a military which does stuff... :P
<+JP2> yeh they get coffee for the american soldiers

#444998 +(1427)- [X]

<Phil> i wish my girlfriend was into DDR
<knuck> i wish my girlfriend didnt end in .jpg

#444999 +(681)- [X]

<conVict> omg my older bro is a bastard
<conVict> it's mum's birthday, and he set up a treasure hunt for her to find her gift
<conVict> she went all aroudn the house. up and down the stairs
<conVict> finally found the final clue
<maxi> lol
<conVict> it was a picture of goatse
<maxi> ROFL!!!!
<conVict> mum started crying
<conVict> he got banned from the comp for a month

#464561 +(2181)- [X]

<xp99> We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.
<xp99> So next Sunday at 4:00 PM Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
<xp99> Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this antiterrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.
<xp99> And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your antiterrorist sentiment.
<xp99> The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity.

#465695 +(2414)- [X]

DominationForce: omfg
DominationForce: I'm sitting on a greyhound bus today on my way back to college
DominationForce: and this girl spends 2 fucking hours on her cellphone whining to her boyfriend that her cellphone bill is huge
DominationForce: and then she calls her mom and whines some more

#593236 +(711)- [X]

[TA]-1 Ozzy0: any CSS clans in here?
Hambocho: you must really be into web programming if you're after a CSS clan.
Lord Traith: I'm after an RSS clan.

#596693 +(512)- [X]

Keeper36rm: i almost got arrested too last night
interventi0n: for what?
Keeper36rm: racing
interventi0n: get pulled over?
Keeper36rm: we both did
interventi0n: who was the other car?
Keeper36rm: but the girl lied, she told the cop I was harassing her, she was just trying to get away from me
Keeper36rm: so he left her off, and I almost got arrested

#670925 +(1051)- [X]

<Lapsus> Okay, I get an error beep, anyone want to help me decipher it?
<Lapsus> it's just regular, long beeps.
<Lapsus> beeeeeeep. beeeeeeeep...
<Fox> its gaydar. it must be picking up on a local source

#748176 +(597)- [X]

[•%Nakedkira•] HERE'S A REAL CATGIRL
[•%Nakedkira•] :D)333-<
(•+DB•) o.o
(•+Renoki•) 3 sets... of boobs?
[•%Nakedkira•] meow, bitch

#814751 +(666)- [X]

<negev> Have a good time on Friday?
<Sefrian> got proper fucked up
<Sefrian> started seeing binary on the fuckin walls
<negev> lawl
<Sefrian> you know you're a geek when you hallucinate binary

#870274 +(4187)- [X]

<ddubb> if there is no local area ID found, drop the load data.
<ddubb> or, in code form:
<ddubb> if (!getLAid()) dropLoad();
<ddubb> line 525 of software that ships tomorrow.
<ddubb> my work here is done.

#881698 +(851)- [X]

<Rav|Work> anyone want to write up a throttling FAQ for my company.. 
<Whisper> "Take your hands and put them either side of the bitch's throat.  Shake like hell."
<Lummy> Whisper wins.
<Gatzby> agreed.
<Rav|Work> lol

#953113 +(77)- [X]

<@Faer|afk> what is good dubstep
<Rashy> dialup modem

#954190 +(550)- [X]

<Prometheus> Are you made of Copper and Tellurium
<Prometheus> because youre CuTe
<Cruel> Are you made of holmium and molybdenum

0.0642 21095 quotes approved; 1456 quotes pending
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