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#436 +(590)- [X]

<HomerJ> I had this computer built for this guy, all ready to go...so I walk to where my mom took my car, and when I get back, out cat sneezed on the board and fried it

#1027 +(358)- [X]

<Yukkel> a belch is not an oral report

#7088 +(142)- [X]

<Naivete> I wouldn't be surprised if xrg is down for good.
<Soul|gone> it has been 24 hours.
<Soul|gone> that is a pretty good indication that it went bye bye
<Naivete> that would make me rather sad.
<Naivete> not all that sad, mind you.
<Naivete> but still pretty sad.
<Damarr> Just sad enough to make you feel sad
<Naivete> exactly

#7173 +(345)- [X]

<Ice|P> blow jobs r better
<mk4> why because you get a load in the mouth
<nim-zero> a load in the mouth is worth two in the hand

#7444 +(6100)- [X]

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand.  An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.

#8539 +(307)- [X]

<teste_fly> wish me luck on my date tonihgt guys
* aquacavi crosses fingers
* dr_rotcod crosses his penises
<teste_fly> :0
<aquacavi> the secret is out ladies and gentlemen

#8571 +(242)- [X]

## baguette is away since Mon Sep 10 12:31:41 2001 -- fuck
<screampuff>  gee, that's not a bad reason to be away...

#8873 +(198)- [X]

* Crimson has joined #arsclan
<stargurl> hello
<Sinned> hello
<Crimson> hello
<Griz> hello.jpg

#10890 +(574)- [X]

<gldnmean> I always thought "The sound of one hand clapping" would be good zen masturbation slang

#11794 +(226)- [X]

<Kimmay> yeah but these are real ppl: they took me (for free) form an XT to a 386, from a 2400 to a 14.4 from a CGA to an EGA and from DOS 2.1 to 5.0 ALL FREE
<medic> and do these "real" people still use a UNIVAC?
<Kimmay> whats that?
<medic> your next upgrade.

#12254 +(307)- [X]

<Art`> I don't want to work with people, I'm not a big people person
<Saccy> I thought you wanted to be a surgeon?
<Art`> Well they're under general anaesthetic, I don't have to talk to them.

#16194 +(115)- [X]

<Read^Tired>: u just like sucking ur own dick
<Rayor>: is it that obvious?

#16409 +(393)- [X]

<Never> Okay, I'm not really going to be a novelist, it just sounds a lot better than "autistic retard constantly lost in own fantasy world"

#17086 +(545)- [X]

<kethepoo> i remember the first time windows said "this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down", and i was worried that they found out about the porn i had looked at

#18452 +(166)- [X]

<Fembot> weight is like a Mississippi marriage -- purely relative.
<Fembot> mass is constant

#27444 +(244)- [X]

#32048 +(276)- [X]

<TC> I have a very bad fear of unknown places
<Nastard> like the congo, or the african deserts, or a vagina...
<TC> I dont fear African Deserts

#39457 +(123)- [X]

<spid0r> i will soon be on netbsd...whatever the fuck that does
<me> Go with linux, bsd will confuse you easily.
<spid0r> BUT LINUX DOESNT HAVE TELNET

#42294 +(377)- [X]

Chris: im looking at the stileporn popup
Chris: and this girl looks like my sister =/
Propain: Hrmmm
Propain: Bet yer beating off to it right now
Chris: yeah =/
Chris: well, its not REALLY her
Propain: lol

#43000 +(346)- [X]

<Avalanche> !seen bud
[@bud] Avalanche, I'm right here. Quit wasting my time!
<Avalanche> !seen vagina
[Respecter] lol
[@bud] Avalanche, I don't remember seeing vagina.
<Avalanche> why does that not surprise me

#50681 +(910)- [X]

<naga> so how long can nicknames be?
<parnbl00d> pretty long
* naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
<nagaiseatingpie> cool
* naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
<nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
<nagalikeslongdicks> shit
<parnbl00d> ahahaha

#52174 +(169)- [X]

<JynxDaddy> 3boy should i get it 2nd hand?
<Threeboy> its a book man.
<Threeboy> the worst thing that can be in it is semen.
<Threeboy> go for it.
<JynxDaddy> :|

#68577 +(38)- [X]

( LiNKz )  I need to grab a good copy of Win2k server
( SpiritMaster )  my friend had it but during installation it scared him so he installed win me again

#71981 +(19)- [X]

<Tommy^> anybody know if u can download win98 second edition for free if you allready own 98
<Tommy^> cant seem to find it on microsoft site

#73149 +(535)- [X]

Helix04: we had a debate in lit today
Helix04: alec did our conclusion
Helix04: he ended by calling the entire opposing team communists
Helix04: I don't think we won

#75834 +(130)- [X]

<entheh> oh noes
<entheh> my xmms has frozen
<entheh> DIE XMMS! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
<entheh> err oh, it did

#75949 +(370)- [X]

visualwealth: you know whats funny?
visualwealth: i was writing my paper for like 8 hours straight now
visualwealth: and ive achieved more in last two hours than the six hours before
visualwealth: i really have some concentration issues
onkeybutt87: haha
onkeybutt87: seriously...
onkeybutt87: maybe you should go to, like, a concentration camp

#82130 +(316)- [X]

[Moe] Girl you know I like it when you climb on top
[Moe] Love muscles feel tighter than a headlock
[Moe] And you know I love the way you make the bed rock
[Moe] Take me to extasy without taking Extasy
[sp00n] You're a horrible rapper
[+LoGo] and person

#99035 +(191)- [X]

<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep 
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend 
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online" 
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone" 
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO" 
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you"

#99047 +(349)- [X]

<Yuri> heh damn man
<Yuri> 93.1mb
<Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
<xerDM> heheh
<Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
<Yuri> heh
<xerDM> hehe
<Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
* Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
<Dorn> aha
<xerDM> haha
<Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
<Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
<Dorn> course
<Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
<Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
<Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
<Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
<Dorn> :E

#123881 +(11)- [X]

<v_9>FUCK
<v_9>SHIT
<v_9>DAMNBITCHTOHELL
<v_9>i was just surfing throuh porn, then i was just stopped wanking it
<v_9>you know, going to a different url
<v_9>then all of a sudden,
<v_9>A FUCKING FLY LANDED ON MY MUSHROOM CAP
<v_9>THE SHIT HURT LIKE A MUHER FUCKER
<v_9>i mangaed to get a book real fast
<v_9>then made another mistake.
<v_9>i slammed the book right onto my shlong
<v_9>and part of the fly was dripping down to my balls.
<v_9>:/

#124671 +(1)- [X]

<PRM> Theres a special girl in the office that i got a thing for.
<King-T> Yeah? Who? Is she nice ?
<PRM> She's called clare, i want to fuck her up the arse so that i can tell the bitch who's boss.
<King-T> go for it man!
<PRM> Yeah, just gotta make sure she doesnt fuck my arse first!
<King-T> Whoa, she a man man ?
<PRM> Not any more, think it may of been a dodgy sex-op gone wrong.
<King-T> Dont want to know...

#124838 +(1131)- [X]

<@Firebird> Anyone want the mpeg of the ABC special about pirating movies and tv shows?
<Psy> ...

#165082 +(1090)- [X]

<Sai> Sometimes I threaten to black male my sister

#231237 +(1716)- [X]

<wasted> fuck
<wasted> lol
<wasted> apperantly transparancy can go 100%
<wasted> invisible
<wasted> i have a window somewhere. in my screen.
<wasted> god knows where ;
<sc0tt> LOL

#234201 +(1362)- [X]

<JerZgirl> damn i wish my husband would quit cruising around looking for access points and come home already!
<Demon> Back when I was a kid, we just called them `girls'.
<digia> lmao

#303011 +(671)- [X]

<quik-silver> You know, life really IS like a box of chocolates
<quik-silver> A cheap, meaningless gift that noone ever asks for

#358042 +(448)- [X]

<big_ernie> roses are red
<big_ernie> violets are blue
<big_ernie> my quote got rejected
<big_ernie> so i say "fuck you"

#421788 +(1240)- [X]

#447150 +(789)- [X]

<SupaShaD> i hate it when people invite me to eat dinner at their house
<SupaShaD> cuz then i have to act all polite and shit
<SupaShaD> when all i really wanna do is eat the food and then go fuck their daughter

#449083 +(732)- [X]

<willo_sk> Wheee
<willo_sk> My $100 tires are rockin
<willo_sk> Another 50 for mount and balance tho :(
<willo_sk> I suspect that they fucked up my alignment
<willo_sk> Hosers
<josh> willo_sk: are you no longer chaotic good?

#649649 +(337)- [X]

<iND-RLM> i heard a good comeback by my friends 13yr old brother the other day
<iND-RLM> his sister was talking it up
<iND-RLM> and he just comes in and says
<iND-RLM> u know if i made a mould of you out of shit.. it would still only be as half as full of shit as you really are

#709158 +(180)- [X]

<Mrod> i earned 1 point of gay for reading a guy's blog btw
<BL> omg you have the high score!
<BL> please enter your initials

#712887 +(357)- [X]

<murrrr> *bites tommah's hand off*
<murrrr> it must be pretty hard to type with only one hand
<FraudulentTommah> I won't respond to that

#732404 +(571)- [X]

<Weregoose> I had to fill in these spaces (........ .....) with a phrase associated with "murder" and "alternative". Apparently, "elevator music" wasn't an acceptable answer.

#763307 +(797)- [X]

<j0e> when i want to download music i look up what the band thinks about filesharing
<j0e> if they're okay with it, i download the song
<j0e> if they're against it, i download the song out of spite
<UriGeller> what if they haven't said anything on filesharing
<j0e> that's what i call a tacit endorsement

#809031 +(264)- [X]

<Mister> I was at The Bronx,was quite... strange
<Mister> and then I saw 2 girls who I know
<Mister> and they were like :O... Jason? I never knew you were gay?!
<Mister> I told them I was there for the music,don't think they believed me
<Jesus> That's like the worst excuse
<Mister> I don't care,all these guys buying me drinks
<Mister> openly checking out my arse
<Mister> it was like being a girl,was nice getting free stuff
<Jesus> I'd rather not be a mans eye candy.You were like a visual gay prostitute

#886709 +(1846)- [X]

linkraceist: my printer is being rather communist atm
necrokiss: lol, how so?
linkraceist: in theory, there is nothing wrong with it
linkraceist: but when i try to use it, everything goes wrong

#911246 +(2004)- [X]

<cirrhosis> GODDAMN IT TO FUCKING HELL
<cirrhosis> WTF....MAN, I OUGHTTA JUST GO FUCKING SHOOT MYSELF
<cirrhosis> jesus fucking christ
<dolph72> ?
<cirrhosis> wife just told me she's prego
<dolph72> Dont shoot yourself
<dolph72> Shoot the asshole that did it

#912262 +(961)- [X]

Chris: well, I only watched Twilight once, so it doesn't really count.
Mr. Mann: Oh?
Chris: 1st time doesn't count, 2nd means you're curious, 3rd time and after means you're a faggot.
Chris: my uncle said that
Chris: but I think he was talking about buttsex
Mr. Mann: So basically the same thing ;)

0.0388 20982 quotes approved; 4835 quotes pending
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