#218 +(559)- [X]
<CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade...
#1379 +(1410)- [X]
<studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
<studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
<studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness in the 24th century
#2332 +(14)- [X]
<G0TB00ST> bodypiercing = "bodykits" for fags w/o cars they cant rice
#3749 +(252)- [X]
<Mir> I'm based on a true story
<eldee> mir: what book? kamasutra for homos? :)
<Mir> not a book
<Mir> I'm based on the Story of Dave. The guy that was.
<eldee> the guy that was _____? (gay?)
<Mir> the guy that was. theres no more words, I put the . in there.
<eldee> he's right.
<eldee> punctuation's a bitch
#5819 +(281)- [X]
[Synoptica] Just when you thought porn spam couldn't stoop any lower...
[Synoptica] 'DOGFART SLUTS!'
#7486 +(299)- [X]
<hopi> let's talk about my need for once
<hopi> er wrong window
#10682 +(588)- [X]
<Birk> Since you know, you get to choose a name when you are pope
<Birk> If I ever became pope I would choose the name Perri.
<Birk> So then people would call me pope perri, and they would be forced to laugh whenever saying my name.
#11238 +(268)- [X]
<Drew```> I really dont appriciate my sister saying "oh, close your eyes andrew, I already took off my pants outside"
#13111 +(198)- [X]
<neia_doll> Im 5 foot 11 and 116 lbs..i lost 3 on accident..
<neia_doll> so Im pretty skinny
<k-rad-bob> you got an abortion?
#14411 +(117)- [X]
#14787 +(147)- [X]
<colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the contents of your
nostrils into a trash can
#22431 +(645)- [X]
<halo@home> i LOVE childrens books
<Ronak> i never saw breasts that looked like peppermints before...
<halo@home> WTF are they trying to teach kids?!!!
<Para@Work> "Bobby and his brother play 'differently'" by Genichiro Yagyu
<halo@home> "The Benefits Of Being A Boy-Scout Den Leader" by Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'Take candy from strangers' by Genichiro Yagyu
<halo@home> "It only hurts the first 3 times" by Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'slamming the ham' by Genichiro Yagyu
<chawk> "That's not milk" by Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'Playing hide the salami, for beginners' by Genichiro Yagyu
<Para@Work> "THE PHYSICS OF QUANTUM-SPACE TIME CONTINUUM WITH APPLICATIONS TO BLACK HOLES AND OTHER SPACIAL ANOMOLIES" by Genichiro Yagyu
<Ronak> 'wiping your ass for beginners' by Genichiro Yagyu
<Chro> "Splash Splash Rub a Dub Dub. SUPRISE!" a book for all friends by Genichrio Yagyu
<chawk> LOL Chro
<halo@home> DUDE I AM SO FUCKING GLAD I AM NOT A KID RIGHT NOW
#30330 +(206)- [X]
<dr_cool> New Zealand is a shit hole full of sheep
<marc> yeah, but they give better head than the kangaroos
#32494 +(182)- [X]
<mrburrito>I have pulled my 9110 apart so many times, and I still can't work out what's wrong with it...
<loz>Maybe the fact that you've pulled it apart that many times?
#34759 +(151)- [X]
<AlmanzoW> Oh please. Being in a car with Zot is like being strapped to your best friend's dad while he gets hard looking at Playboy
#36929 +(267)- [X]
<foop> CUZ IN THE GHETTO THEY CANT BE AFFORDING 128
<incognegro> "i'm so ghetto, my mp3s aren't recorded above 64kbps"
#37673 +(337)- [X]
<Relioc> hmm wheres russia now
<@maximus`> still next to china
#37988 +(550)- [X]
*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@126.96.36.199) has joined #photography
<BlackNet21> anyone here wanna help me with a photo?
<pd_corax> A what?
<danno> wtf is a photo
*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@188.8.131.52) has left #photography
<danno> sheesh, it takes all kinds...
#41713 +(149)- [X]
<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
<'Wraith> I take offense to that
<Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
<SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either :
#42204 +(168)- [X]
<@sequence> linux has its place
<@sequence> if nothing else, it keeps the morons out of *BSD
[S+Z] CTCP VERSION reply from sequence: ircII EPIC4-0.9.2-ssl Linux 2.2.16-3 - Accept no limitations.
#46716 +(17)- [X]
<ateteen> somery: I'm a professional Common Lisp developer and faraday-cage technician.
<sklib> if you mention common lisp again
<sklib> I will fucking put a knife up your butt
<sklib> and carve myself a hamburger
#48950 +(3)- [X]
<c-rOCK> when youre bored i highly recommend making fun of beaners.
#55832 +(258)- [X]
irc.aol.com Message of the Day -
irc.aol.com (If you packet us, we will send you a bunch of cd's)
#57644 +(243)- [X]
<iaruj> some idiot keeps unplugging lan cable
<seniaguol> is his name...
<seniagoul> whatever your name is?
#59839 +(317)- [X]
<Volt9000> My friend asked me to be in his movie
<Volt9000> I think Im gonna do it
<Volt9000> I must admit my acting skills aren't the greatest
<Volt9000> But I do have SOME acting experience
<tsingtao> <Volt9000> I've managed to convince my whole school that I'm straight!
#68573 +(296)- [X]
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> i talked for 4 hours, to my anti-drug girlfriend
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> stoned off my ass
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> she didnt suspect nothing
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like "everyone here is wasted and toasted"
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> she is like You arent i hope
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like Nope!
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> oh man, i should be an actor
<LoZel> no you shouldnt
<LoZel> no dude you cant even make text beleivable
#74102 +(29)- [X]
<Yup> did we ever figure out what the opposite of asian was
<Mardom> wouldnt black be opposite?
<Mardom> because they have big penises and are dumb
#75937 +(107)- [X]
<ShowDowN> having a formatted drive and a fresh install of windows is better then the feeling just after youve finsihed shaving
#82151 +(180)- [X]
<InvisableMan> [19:51] <AshleeFukala> i tried to make popcorn..
<InvisableMan> [19:52] <AshleeFukala> and i blwe up my mircowave
<InvisableMan> HOW do you blow up the microwave with popcorn?
<InvisableMan> it boggles the mind
<InvisableMan> is that even possible?
<InvisableMan> i mean, COME ON... i understand, maybe, burning the popcorn, at the most catching it on fire.. MAYBE... but.....
<InvisableMan> TO BLOW UP THE MICROWAVE???
<InvisableMan> *sigh* you humans will be the death of me.
#88527 +(308)- [X]
<over> k though... my best line ive said in an interview... they asked "what do u do if you explain something to somebody and they dont understand... what can u do to make them understand?"
<over> "say the exact same thing but louder"
<over> and the funny thing is that the interview i said that at was the one i got my internship at
#107162 +(218)- [X]
<ChaosBob> somebody needs to write an irc client that makes chat text look like source code
<ChaosBob> for when your boss walks in the room
#120296 +(10857)- [X]
<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....
#161525 +(311)- [X]
#162667 +(741)- [X]
[tim:] fuck this game
[tim:] the more you beat it the harder it gets
[tim:] ... oh god.
[tim:] that was never going to sound right.
#165596 +(373)- [X]
<Gothic> I put my PS2 in the microwave, and I ended up in the future
#192191 +(548)- [X]
<PoofServ> WOOHOO! My mom is getting off!
#215341 +(537)- [X]
<Tim> Well it tastes gay.
<Gerard> How do you know what "gay" tastes like?
#231033 +(204)- [X]
[hehohno] I really swear rev is a music columnist.
[hehohno] You have that bitter, "radiohead is ok, if you like rehashed pink floyd tracks" feel about you.
#257396 +(330)- [X]
<spyderballa> you know back in my day white powder in envelopes was a good thing
#426917 +(1446)- [X]
<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?
#536798 +(534)- [X]
<NIGHTMARE> I'm black from the waist down.
<n10shun> How do you steal a TV with your feet?
#578314 +(635)- [X]
<Rhett> yes yes, but that's bringing hyperbole into an argument that, while silly, remains grounded in fact
<moros|sreep> I'm not quite sure what hyperbole is, come to think of it..
<Rhett> it's where the ADD children have their football championship
#589532 +(771)- [X]
<linuxelf> During our last camping trip, we came up with a new idea for the japanese. Having a bunch of guys pour coffee on a woman's face, and call it Bukkoffee.
<linuxelf> yeah, we had a few beers...
#589742 +(2577)- [X]
<xanthes> so my gf and me were doin it vampire style right
<CommanderBob> vampire style?
<rhodes> wtf is vampire style?
<b00z> WHAT THE FUCK?
<xanthes> shut up and let me tell you the story
<rhodes> no, you tell us what the FUCKING HELL 'vampire style' is
<xanthes> look, its not important
* CommanderBob has left #uncyclopedia
<b00z> i have to say im with bob on this one
* b00z has left #uncyclopedia
<rhodes> i don't really want to be around to hear this
* rhodes has left #uncyclopedia
<xanthes> guess its just u and me then PoP
<princessofpie> no, you stay the fuck away from me, you fucking pervert
* princessofpie has left #uncyclopedia
#605739 +(859)- [X]
mixtapelove6: if a four year old kissed you on the lips twice, what would you do?
Fosforix: hit it with the newspaper and say "no"
#666428 +(1001)- [X]
TTim2627: i try to restrain from illegal activities on sundays
igcatastrophe:really? I don't. i figure, gods resting, get him in his blindspot
#759906 +(825)- [X]
<jeet> u guys are dumb... i like shemale porn its like regular porn but with more boobs
<vrunt> uhh... okay
<LainWave> jeet: putting the xy back in sexy
#760787 +(313)- [X]
<dweez> f33dback, opinions are like assholes
<f33dback> so if you don't have one you're full of shit?
#912101 +(3235)- [X]
x-c0n: Dude I was so drunk last night.. apparently this girl said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered, "Simba".
#915703 +(2102)- [X]
<Dakara> what's the name of that disease when you can't stop masturbating?
<amaury> the Y chromosome