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#1330 +(121)- [X]

(fub) I walked into a police station once to pick up some court papers, and I smoked a joint about 5 blocks away and I was was sitting in there for awhile and I looked down at my shoes and the roach was on the front tounge of my shoe ;/

#2315 +(479)- [X]

<TheDeity> It's like there is a party in my mouth, and everyone is throwing up

#2473 +(614)- [X]

<ringy> my mom says shed date me if she was my age

#3218 +(467)- [X]

<Richie> i kinda sent him the strange link to gay porn
<duckman> so he sent you here?
<Richie> revenge is strange sometimes
<Joshua> well... i guess we know what we have to do...
* Joshua takes off his pants

#4790 +(586)- [X]

<DAL9000> my pseudogirlfriend's preacher was like, all over her
<DAL9000> and she's not very liked at her church
<DAL9000> cuz they think she's seducing him
<trep> pseudogirlfriend, haha
<DAL9000> yes
<DAL9000> that's a fancy word for stalking interest.

#5493 +(313)- [X]

<LuceNT> i don't download and install crap
<Mr2001> that's why you don't get the girls.
<LuceNT> because i don't fill my computer with garbage?
<Mr2001> you have to put up with crap.

#7163 +(39)- [X]

<Descartes> A wanker is not a racial slur
<GORE> it is
<GORE> beleive me it is
<GORE> to me

#7342 +(304)- [X]

<skankuhz> I work my bung muscles every night, just in case i have to go to jail, I'll rip off a mans tip if he tries to ass fuck me!

#8489 +(1)- [X]

<helminthes> hey i have a good pick up line
<helminthes> "if you vomit i'm not fucking holding your hair back"
<helminthes> "later"

#9057 +(300)- [X]

The-ill-man- *beat kicks in*  yo yo  you know i be somkein some grass, tappin some ass, while rippin on bowls, and hittin on hoes
-cyanide- ur smoking weed while fucking girls while smoking weed while trying to pick up girls.. nice rap..

#10465 +(363)- [X]

<Squinky> Are all Vietnamese people named Nguyen or something?
<Sopabuena> Yes
<Squinky> I know about 8 with that last name, but none with a different one
<Sopabuena> If you go to Vietnam and shout "NGUYEN" everyone will look at you

#13097 +(985)- [X]

<Beedub> How the fuck do I get into IRC?
<Swigh> You dumb fuck

#13921 +(66)- [X]

<kineticupid> asian + mullet = cant get better

#15507 +(283)- [X]

<treaps> i've always wanted to try taking diezepam and trying to do math or program computers
<rdgzt> What's diezepam?
<treaps> muscle relaxer/antianxiety drug
<treaps> it's a class IV drug on this chart
<rdgzt> It makes you shit your pants and not worry about it?

#23427 +(700)- [X]

(Amanda`) I think random orgasms would get old after a while

#34301 +(180)- [X]

*** Quits: Espresso (my sister is a bitch and needs this computer because her homework is already saved on it)
<^Pa|Busy^> I think all words after "bitch" were probably unnecessary.

#36139 +(121)- [X]

@(external`roid) fuck and when he goes on about racist shit that pisses me off
@(external`roid) hes a stupid little boy who just hit puberty and thinks its cool that air no longer shoots out of his small little penis
@(external`roid) give a kid 1 nut hair and he thinks he owns the world

#36829 +(254)- [X]

<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have gotten used to the sound of a zipper

#37275 +(149)- [X]

<Drak`> if i killed myself over a bitch, i would commit suicide

#40193 +(2296)- [X]

<MARSHALL> CAN YOU SPEAK IN BM
<Nikari> wtf is bm?
<MARSHALL> BM MEANS BAHASA MALAYSIA
<Nikari> Does everyone yell in Malasyia?
<MARSHALL> ARE YOU GIRL OR MAN
<Nikari> a very girly man. you?
<MARSHALL> YOU FIRST
<Nikari> ... that would make you a girl, then
<MARSHALL> I AM MAN
<Nikari> HEAR ME ROAR
<MARSHALL> WHAT YOU MENAS
<Nikari> It's an american joke. Do you have jokes in malaysia?
<MARSHALL> YES.IN MALAYSIA HAVE MANY JOKE.
<MARSHALL> ARE YOU WANT CAME TO MALAYSIA
<Nikari> Are you offering hot malaysian sex?
<MARSHALL> WHAT YOU MEANS
<Nikari> Well, when a man and woman love each other very much, he sticks his woo woo into her waa waa. And in very special circumstances, if two men love each other very much, he will stick his woo woo into the other guy's uh oh.
<MARSHALL> I CANOT LOVE NOW.I STILL STUDY
<Nikari> They're always time for love!
<MARSHALL> ARE YOU STILL STUDY?
<Nikari> When I'm not love.

#41520 +(176)- [X]

< DGonzo> hmm
< DGonzo> my gf left her shampoo and shit here
< DGonzo> next thing you know she's gonna want to plug into my hub
<@[Hobbes]> DGonzo: ... For christ's sake just change your name to DWhipped
<@golem> tell her she can plug into your hub if you can plug into hers anytime you like

#43745 +(121)- [X]

<naner> has anybody made whoopie?
<naner> :|
<naner> does typing alot make your fingers stronger?
<naner> cause i really want to be good at atleast one thing in bed

#43843 +(318)- [X]

<Akasha> have you tried kicking the pc?
<Wither> of course. first thing i did..

#46673 +(319)- [X]

<bean-> penises are cute!
<carmzz> they look like little darth vaders

#47170 +(237)- [X]

<TDS> THAT MAKE NO SENSE ANYWAY. IF 50 % OF AMERICANS ARE BELOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE, HOW CAN IT BE AVERAGE?
<SneakAtack> TDS is an idiot. half the people are below the average and half the people are above the average. that's why it's an average.
<Moik> >_< TDS makes the upper half possible.
<Bob_Dole> ROFL @ Moik
<SneakAtack> hehee
<SneakAtack> I feel almost bad. I should have waited for more people to reply and then agreed with TDS.
<TDS> that was a momentary lapse. my iq has been found to be 163.
<FFVI> You forgot a decmial point, TDS
<SneakAtack> TDS: 163 with a mean of 500?

#56996 +(425)- [X]

<Jackal> If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

#57174 +(756)- [X]

<@Lujan> yet because more and more ppl are getting bigger tvs, and more computers, air con etc
<@Lujan> last house I was in was so old it had 10amps for the whole fucking house
<@Lujan> put some toast in the toaster and the computer rebooted
<Durus> hahahaha lujan.  that's some funny shit
<@Lujan> Durus: no its not. I am the only person on the planet who had to run his toaster of his UPS

#68592 +(226)- [X]

<tinker> ok i can't do my man right... i try to man man and it don't work i mean i installed from rpm by tar -RPM package.bz2 can anyone help it just crashes and says stuff to me
<soroh6> haha
<Threed> for help on doing your man, try gaysRus.com
<soroh6> he can't do his man right

#73068 +(159)- [X]

<Karva> Canada doesn't even have a space program
<Eight> uh
<Karva> haha
<Eight> yeah we do? We actually do a lot of manufacturing of parts for them shuttles.
<Eight> I mean uh.. oops.

#80933 +(149)- [X]

<jeff-ev1> the security level is now orange...no idling allowed

#82218 +(123)- [X]

<astynax> i'm gonna install icq and look for some hoez
<deformated> hoez dont even know what irc is
<deformated> only in other countries do females use it
<astynax> ICQ, not IRC
<deformated> ahh it might help if i read things
<astynax> i heard it helps

#103215 +(559)- [X]

<jeev> there are 2 things i hate in life
<jeev> racists and mexicans

#105433 +(816)- [X]

<kommy> j/oin #horsesex

#124670 +(106)- [X]

<Inversation> okay, tell me something people. Is it wrong to reeeaalllly like something alot?
<^Spike^> Uh.. no
<Inversation> and is it wrong to, say, want to eat that something, even if it wasnt designed to be eaten, per se?
<^Spike^> ,,,,,,,,,,
<^Spike^> What are we talking about?
<Turnip> aaron
<Turnip> you can't eat your daughter
<Inversation> because I have an addiction to this AktaVite chocolate drink stuff
<^Spike^> EW
<Jessica^Rabbit> AARON HAS EATEN POOP
* Jessica^Rabbit falls over
* Turnip picks jess up and tapes her to a chair to stop her falling over again
<Inversation> i'm worried here, because it says 'add milk'
<Inversation> but I Just Dont Wannna

#136428 +(320)- [X]

<Pander> Isn't that like a greek tragedy? A man who spends all his time downloading porn but never gets to look at it?

#136514 +(1042)- [X]

<fry> i remember the first time i had a boner i thought it was cacner or something
<fry> because i used to be smart and shit and i learned in class that tumers were "uncontrolled growths"
<Raven> Then you found the internet. And now you can't even spell cancer. Or tumors.
<fry> ...
<fry> :(

#138583 +(190)- [X]

<@phessler> expecting people to be competent went out of style when the dot-com boom hit

#144440 +(1633)- [X]

<MrBob> I hate Uni. At least in film studies we get to talk about Fight Club.
<@X-Factor> Wouldnt you be breaking the first 2 rules?

#150598 +(240)- [X]

<pagan> i moved out of necesity
<griffin> neccessity is the mother of invention
<Bard^> griffin who is the father of invention
<griffin> opression
<Bard^> why do you say opression
<griffin> because he fucked neccessity

#211933 +(275)- [X]

* Pilgrim has joined #lockergnome
<Pilgrim> is it just me, or did this chan get bigger since the last time i was here? :p
<Rage> when were you last here?
<Siren> yeah, we knocked out that wall --------------------------------->
<Siren> :P

#338364 +(8835)- [X]

<Alanna> Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders

#370253 +(976)- [X]

<ScasE> You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.

#374464 +(852)- [X]

lonelychic0190: WHY DO BOYS LIKE RECIEIVING ORAL BUT THEY DONT LIKE GIVING GIRL ORAL
Goat Desecration: BECAUSE WOMEN CAN'T TALK WITH A DICK IN THEIR MOUTH

#404244 +(870)- [X]

* XeniX has the bestest most gorgeous g/f in the world
<Toughie> lol
<Toughie> thanks BF
<Steppenwolf> Toughie and XeniX, sitting in a tree
<Toughie> i-r-c-i-n-g

#459877 +(1353)- [X]

Euriusx_xNocturnus: Think of someone of "average" intelligence. Then think half the world is dumber than that.
Veronica5050: ow
Veronica5050: just ow
Veronica5050: owowowowowowowowow

#544637 +(2380)- [X]

MasterKayin: Dude, those Kamakazi pilots in WW2 were crazy...
MasterKayin: If they threw me in a plane and told me to go crash into something
MasterKayin: I'd just take off and go somewhere else
MasterKayin: Like on vacation or something along those lines
MasterKayin: I'd go to Hawaii
MasterKayin: Er... wait...

#690961 +(494)- [X]

<Uki> i don't feel much different, this whole being 21 thing
<Aphelion_> in that case, you did it wrong. go back and try again, this time with more vodka.

#766300 +(1045)- [X]

<Sivvy> No, the next friday the 13th is in... July.
<Elmer> O rly? When?
<Sivvy> On the 13th, dipshit.

#814211 +(935)- [X]

<Zabbage> I used to do drugs in the 70's.
<Zabbage> Now I don't care what the temperature is

#822316 +(2299)- [X]

<@J^raxis> Some people have some weird fetishes. Which is fine. Then they take photos of them, which is not.

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