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#318 +(772)- [X]

<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.

#1187 +(178)- [X]

(SpAc3d-) T@$#@R!@##!I!#!#P!#!#
(SpAc3d-) if you were tripping it would show up really clearly :P

#2046 +(109)- [X]

<train> i'm on prison net
<train> that still works
<Hooblah> wtf
<Hooblah> prison?
<Hooblah> as in locked up n shit?
<Zebracake> heh!
<Zebracake> no, irc.prison.net

#2128 +(539)- [X]

<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!

#3690 +(235)- [X]

geoffduman: :: watches a movie with 2 word documents open, mail running and 3 im conversations going with absolutely no problems ::
e l i t e m r p: yeah well once i get my new pc ill watch 2 movies, with no word cause i dont have it, but instead ill open PS and load high res porn for midget transformation, then ill chat with hot 13 year olds via AIM AND ICQ... while LAUGHING AT YOU

#4159 +(439)- [X]

<Teratogen> what is the difference between PMS and PWS?
<Rhelik> Teratogen: one is a curse on men sent by god, the other is a curse on men sent by microsoft

#5475 +(172)- [X]

<kaleido> how hard is it to plug a fuckin modem into a router
<kaleido> "well i dont know what to do, man"
<kaleido> fuckin christ
<kaleido> where do we find these field engineers
<PunkScum> compton?
<kaleido> i was thinkin guinea
<kaleido> but compton might be right

#6006 +(412)- [X]

<Kaje> my friend at camp brought his psx and gathered us all into his room to watch him beat it

#6054 +(409)- [X]

<kingmob> someone broke into our apartment once
<kingmob> he didn't take anything
<kingmob> he left a ten dollar bill
<Guyver3> did he leave money?
<Guyver3> hahahaha
<kingmob> i am *so* not shitting
<kingmob> that ruined my whole week
<kingmob> plus, my dipshit roommate spent the ten bucks

#6955 +(227)- [X]

<null> glasnost: what version of the internet did you install?/
<glasnost> null: 5.0

#7126 +(275)- [X]

<Kash> MY BUM IS ON YOUR FACE
<Kash> MY BUM IS ON YOUR FACE
<Kash> LOOK AT ME
<Kash> MY BUM IS ON YOUR FACE
*** Kash was kicked by da_slog (ITS NOT VERY PHUN)
<CrashCat> MY FOOT IS ON YOUR BUM

#7837 +(147)- [X]

<J-Rock> Thought For The Day: rm -rf customers.
<Zulu> possibilities.
<rob`> bitchslap-over-IP.  Yes.

#9418 +(359)- [X]

(@Sin-away): have to ask Night about Trigger^
(@Sin-away): he doesn't talk
(@Archon`): how come he doesnt say anything?
(@fragge): dunno he's never told me

#11512 +(406)- [X]

<Gudrow> I hope I get hired
<jre> wear a miniskirt to the interview
<jre> show some leg and some nutsack

#22090 +(363)- [X]

<TrutHurts> o____o: Christ died for all and one day you will acknowledge this fact
<wired> ORRRR you will die and be dead and you'll wish you didnt spend all your time in an IRC channel preaching

#29468 +(255)- [X]

<Guilty> <v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next person has a REALLY good idea what i did
<Guilty> Approve Kill Nothing
<logik_> kill
<Mdar> kill
<gfjgfjgfj> what does nothing do?
<Mdar> is that a rhetorical question?

#30045 +(206)- [X]

<Grim> <chikster> fuck a pole
<Grim> *** [#geekissues] No users matching *.pl found on channel.

#34198 +(662)- [X]

<nihil> I doubt my getting fired from the Dairy Queen is a bellwether of recession, but it sure is a bellwether of I stuck my wang in the butterscotch.

#36661 +(229)- [X]

<Dulan> And if anyone here doesn't know what bukkake is....ask Unifex to explain it. :P
<unifex> It's a kind of pastry, obviously.
<unifex> From Sweden.
<unifex> Not alot of people like that pastry though.
<unifex> People get so messy when eating it, too.

#48419 +(239)- [X]

<White_Devil> ppl who put down other ppl from other countries are basicly ingnorant...We are all from the human race and the sooner ppl can put away their bias, the sooner they can be dominated by the USA

#49602 +(67)- [X]

<crypt-> in my bios, should I have AGP fast write enabled or disabled?
<uNK> do you want agp to go fast?

#53103 +(283)- [X]

Cypher: well i think i got everything packed
Owen: + 1 packing skill (Cypher)

#55855 +(261)- [X]

<evilroot> "One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad
<evilroot> "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler
<Madiarin> evilroot: That's horrible.
<|-Shin-|> Is it a TV ad or a banner or what?
<Beanoo> erk .. bill 'adolf' gates
<evilroot> |-Shin-|:  not sure
<|-Shin-|> aw.
* |-Shin-| was hoping to get a link out of it
<evilroot> One World. One Web. One Program.
<evilroot> Microsoft advertisement, 1997
<dafatdude> thats M$ in a nutshell
<|-Shin-|> Heh, looks like you're not the only one to have that opinion. I just did a google search on it
* Madiarin was searching altavista in the futile attempt to see if anyone could verify the MS part of the quote.

#57799 +(660)- [X]

<@newt0r> thank god, im atheist

#59329 +(168)- [X]

<@Hellfire|RS> ... BET has nightly news now?
<@Rei> "And to close, remember, MLK Jr Day is only 234 days away and keep it real, yo. Tonights credits will be done by Jameriquai and remember to tune in tomorrow morning at 6:00 for your AM dose of ethnic stereotypes."

#71442 +(2215)- [X]

<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"

#77196 +(503)- [X]

<MooseWare> Anyone in here know a good IRC server to find people who are intersted in making game?
<MooseWare> games*
<Raggedy-Asmo> #redundant-questions
<MooseWare> that chat is empty
<CrazYGuyMrkII> lol
<Valeria> rofl
<Raggedy-Asmo> lol Val
<MooseWare> im serious, its empty
<Valeria> ;)
<MooseWare> except for me, of course
<Raggedy-Asmo> hey, let's send that one to bash
<CrazYGuyMrkII> rofl
<Valeria> already there
<CrazYGuyMrkII> thats like that other one
<CrazYGuyMrkII> join #someonewhocares
<CrazYGuyMrkII> im the only one there
<Raggedy-Asmo> lol
<MooseWare> that room is empty too
<CrazYGuyMrkII> lol
<MooseWare> grr

#82113 +(342)- [X]

<ecco> when I die I want to be buried in a wetsuit
<ecco> with a snorkel and mask and stuff
<ecco> I just think it'd be funny
<ecco> nobody would know how to react

#82141 +(30)- [X]

<soul|FL> i love chics who can beat the shit out of me

#83546 +(454)- [X]

<ascii_phil> And if you ever need something to scare children with[0], I'll
             describe the tenant cycle implementation.
<ascii_phil> [0] Well, database-knowledgable geek children.
  * daveious is scared enough by the implementation of footnotes in IRC,
             thankyouverymuch

#87072 +(110)- [X]

<WorstQEvr> buying douches over the internet is like the epitome of shady

#92706 +(966)- [X]

<dySanGONE> i asked my mom to leave me some money so i could go to wendy's
<dySanGONE> she left me $40
<Nago> nice
<yotta|w0rk> must have thought wendy was a cheap whore.

#107020 +(372)- [X]

<Volt9000> Forget stabbing people in the face over the Internet.... I'd become wealthy if I made a program where you enter someone's IP address and you can remotely sterilize them

#113211 +(53)- [X]

<FoxBot> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 32 is:
<FoxBot>            (Things) What is the fear of darkness known as
<Stonetree> africaphobia

#139434 +(71)- [X]

<%PeteriD> Ladies and gentlemen
<%PeteriD> Michael Bolton Has threatened to kill me
<xnoblefoxfirex> ohhh micheal bolton
<xnoblefoxfirex> I know Id be scared
<@bunnzy> whats he gonna do?
<@bunnzy> love you to death?
<@_pali> release another album! >_<
<@bunnzy> maybe he'll hold you down, and get his mate kenny G to molest you with his saxaphone!

#153683 +(490)- [X]

<ChrisV82> If you're hiking and you get lost, can't you just eat your own semen for a week?
<ChrisV82> I mean, it has no nutritional value, but at least you'll be masturbating

#201975 +(291)- [X]

<wyki> *free hug*
<stef> the deals on the net are getting better and better!
<stef> *accepts hug*
<stef> *changes identity and accepts another* :D
<wyki> yeah but now you're signed up for two spam mailing lists from www.freehug.wyki and you'll have to change your email address in six weeks because of all the teen porn your getting

#246140 +(938)- [X]

<Tonitrus> My biological clock says 12:00 and blinks.

#356275 +(483)- [X]

<Maxim> rhetorical jeopardy is a pretty tricky game, you know? :/

#416942 +(115)- [X]

<MoonlightShadow> I'm exhausted and as a result of that, sick
<BlueTicona> pms moon
<MoonlightShadow> I do not have pms!
<BlueTicona> no
<BlueTicona> i mean pm's

#451484 +(1196)- [X]

<Kami_XX> i think rape sounds to severe.. It should be called surprise sex..
<Neme2> That's an old joke! You suck! Stop stealing jokes!
<hunt_23> He didn't steal it he surprise took it..

#456278 +(1167)- [X]

<+blotch> howcome you never see a black santa
<@SantaReul> what are the chances of a black man breaking into people's houses to *leave* things

#466122 +(618)- [X]

<SPEEDing|VoNK> you cant use knoppix as a server can you?
<bob> why not? people use windows as one.

#489514 +(1275)- [X]

<appleboy> Are you chinese?
<transgress> do i look chinese motherfucker?

#593954 +(531)- [X]

<MisT[w]> guy just walks in and asks me " i bought windows xp 64 and it only shows 16bit and 32bit color but no 64bit ..."
<MisT[w]> o.O;;

#604862 +(9)- [X]

<MiniNinjaSushi> So, I cant be a Bi without having sexual feelings towards girls?

#662011 +(768)- [X]

<MisterMastermind> Reminds me of an assignment I had... I had to name 10 fun things to do in a country. I pulled out a piece of paper from a hat, North Korea. "AW FUCK!"

#803904 +(7687)- [X]

<Kuiper> Well, it rained today, but as a whole it's been warmer than it was last week.
<kikuichimonji> Why does it seem like every time you join this channel, you end up talking about the weather?
<kikuichimonji> Is your life so unimaginably dull that you can't think of any events in your life to describe that might be more interesting than the weather?
<kikuichimonji> Let's think of something for you to talk about other than the weather.
<kikuichimonji> I mean, we barely even know anything about you, other than where you live.
<kikuichimonji> Let's start there.  What do you do for a living?
<Kuiper> I'm a meteorologist.

#880294 +(816)- [X]

%^tiNee^ takes aubz credit card and slides it between aubz's butt cheeks
[%^tiNee^] *denied*
[&goat] what do you mean denied
[&goat] aubz' ass takes everything

#906256 +(2262)- [X]

<popemichael> I was in line to buy a new DVD player. The woman in front of me was having something delivered.
<popemichael> The clerk asked for her 'street name' she replied "I don't have one I go by Shanice."

0.0638 21065 quotes approved; 893 quotes pending
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