#122 +(243)- [X]
<bocz> cept i dont see how they can test your smartness with HISTORY
#615 +(1380)- [X]
<splice> wow, irc really loses its luster when you have a girlfriend
<splice> be back much later
#1032 +(444)- [X]
(Curb) don't worry no trees were harmed in the search for my glasses, toes were stubbed and lives were lost...but all tress are fine
#1325 +(844)- [X]
<immi> a penny for your thoughts
<dr\gonzo> a nickle for anal with your mom
#1486 +(739)- [X]
<aorie> shit slashdot STILL down
<MrP-> yeah, im crying now
<MrP-> whats wrong with it?
<aorie> this sucks
<aorie> this totally fucked up my day heh
<MrP-> me too
<MrP-> some girl asked me if i wanted to have sex with her all day, but i said "after i read slashdot"
<MrP-> GOD DAMNIT!
#2730 +(464)- [X]
[xite] i hate movies with abrupt endings
[xmas_hate] ya i hate when i only download clips of porn too
#3161 +(250)- [X]
<aNuBiS-> I think Taurus is greek for Recall
#3163 +(1036)- [X]
<drlion> linux hacker 1: i'm bored. linux hacker 2: let's re-write the whole kernel! linux hacker 1: ok. *hackety-hack* linux hacker 1: wow, it's 0.00001% faster and takes up 1kb less space! linux hacker 2: w00t.
#3302 +(208)- [X]
<nitrifik_> I ROFL:ed :|
<nitrifik_> I need to get off IRC.
#3710 +(147)- [X]
<Epesh> I wish I was in control of all hiring
<Epesh> for everywhere
<Epesh> McD's would have no labour shortage
#5484 +(397)- [X]
<cain> YOU COULD NOT GET PLAY IF YOU WALKED INTO A WHOREHOUSE WITH YOUR DICK SANDWICHED BETWEEN A AMEX AND A PLATINUM VISA
#6441 +(10270)- [X]
<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado
#8573 +(259)- [X]
<baguette> dude, my grandmother's sexier than your grandmother
#9080 +(264)- [X]
<Umbillical_ED>seems like there's a lot of out of work java developers
<st0w> that's 'cause everybody is finally realizing....
<st0w> JAVA SUCKS
<Umbillical_ED>y u say dat?
<st0w> because one day... I went to a farm, right?
<st0w> and there was this horse
<st0w> and he had this MASSIVE cock
<st0w> and I looked underneath it
<st0w> and I saw the little Java mascot with it's lips parted and the majority of the horse's unit inside it's mouth
#10464 +(262)- [X]
<Mand> If I had to be an x-men, i'd be Gambit.
<Ithaqua> I thought you WERE an ex-man.
#11955 +(125)- [X]
<@wyrd> ok if ya female hot n horny and live with a hours drive away from me ..... come over to my place in 2hrs
<@NeoMatriX> why 2 hours?
<@wyrd> the priest is here and i'm repenting
<@wyrd> ße ßack În Â ßit
#16702 +(51)- [X]
<azrael69> wtf did i really start typing Oasis lyrics AGAIN?! i gotta cut back on the intoxicants
#22178 +(16)- [X]
<sluggy> i need a pen
<cyan> dont you have one in your pants?
<Stooert> that sucked
<cyan> im bored
<sluggy> dont you have a bored in your pants?
#25031 +(413)- [X]
<pizza> i didnt make a sound... you ever hear a pizza make a sound?
<Goatman> i heard a pizza scream once
<Goatman> but maybe that was the kid i baked in it
#26638 +(834)- [X]
<greenocide> Had to give report over censorship today.
<greenocide> So I put in a pr0n vid and they made me turn it off.
<OniSlave> Did u get an A?
<greenocide> I hope so, cause they kept the video. Asshole teachers are probably wanking it right now.
#33881 +(116)- [X]
<BiBOp> little question
<BiBOp> what services are best for unreal ?
<Aristotles> funeral services
#38035 +(294)- [X]
<Blazen> racism is not tolerated on this network. you have been warned. further actions will include kill/gline.
<gigfood> who is that
<gigfood> everybody says that word
<gigfood> fuck you nigger
<Zt|ReEn^Ni> hes an ircop
<gigfood> shit he is?
<Blazen> is that a challenge?
<gigfood> listen here mr tuff irc cop
<gigfood> fuck you nigger
*** gigfood has quit IRC (G-lined (Multiple harassment/racism issues))
#41545 +(240)- [X]
* Orroni slaps DarkPrince_working around a bit with a large trout
* Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large trout
<Liason> trout is soooooooooo 1995
<Orroni> i agree, it's too retro
<Orroni> maybe a leather trout with tassles
* Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large lubrified fanged dildo
<Orroni> now that's disturbing...
#41771 +(607)- [X]
<naga> 'dixy normus' won for class princess this year at our school
<naga> at the assembly, they called her name, but she didn't come down to take the prize
<naga> took 'em 5 minutes to figure it out
<parnbl00d> sounds sexual.
<parnbl00d> was she absent or somethin?
#42376 +(2)- [X]
<Daedalus> But you cannot, however, suck human excrement out of spaghetti, no matter how hard you try.
#42773 +(182)- [X]
<hiaku> our souls are like dead animals, everyone wants a poke at it
<nerved> is that legal to have sex with dead animals?
<hiaku> you're impossible
<nerved> no i'm serious
<nerved> don't want to get in trouble or anything...
* nerved glances around innocently
#43530 +(77)- [X]
<ranger> every single quote is about homosexuality? the US q3 scene worries me :>
#47464 +(601)- [X]
(TheOneShamrock) 70 percent cannot find New Jersey, 49 percent cannot find New York, 11 percent cannot find the United States <--- THOSE are the scary ones!
(anticimex) ROFL doesn't the US have schools?
(anticimex) Only 71% can find the pacific ocean!
(Moik) Lord save us if THAT'S the Protector of the Free World.
(Moik) "Quick, they need our help guarding freedom in Malaysia!"
(Moik) Later in Amsterdam...
(Moik) "Malaysians sure smoke alot of hash!"
#48732 +(204)- [X]
<FLoRa> i'd actually rather be ugly than fat
<milenko> hmm i dont think so
<milenko> you can lose fat
<milenko> BUT YOU CANT LOSE UGLY!
#50039 +(49)- [X]
<RingLass> wow ... too much bash.org ...
<RingLass> kazaa lite has an add that says "Don't Share Unprotected" and I did a double take reading it before I realized they were talking about computers ...
#57810 +(704)- [X]
<Volt9000> 8===D O:
<Volt9000> 8===D O:
<Volt9000> 8===D O:
#75218 +(227)- [X]
<schnorks> Someday when the internet is bigger, we'll all name our kids by screennames like KewlKid2445
#76699 +(270)- [X]
<Luggage_> ban him for a day, let him know he was a dick
<Luggage_> i can't see his address, i'm using stupid ol' mirc
<SixOfFive> IRBMe you got it, or want me to?
<IRBMe> let Luggage_
*** X sets mode +b *!*@18.104.22.168 for #VB
*** Luggage_ was kicked by X from #VB :Reason ((Luggage) Intentional Flooding, 2 Day "Time Out")
<IRBMe> gullible fool
*** Luggage_ (~Paleron@22.214.171.124) has joined #VB
<Luggage_> nice one IRBMe
<SixOfFive> too funny hehe
<Luggage_> didn't even check the address
<Luggage_> if i looked, i'de have seen it was mine :)
<ThFabba> n1 @ irb
<IRBMe> I wish I could have seen Luggage_'s face though.
<Luggage_> IRBMe: it was a look of surprise and confusion, quckly followed by a look of realization and humiliation
#80019 +(182)- [X]
<Pepe> Man made beer, God made pot.
<Pepe> Who do YOU trust?
#82148 +(158)- [X]
<manaani> Insy gave me a 30gb Hard drive
<panth`afk> how many times did you buttrape for that?
#84778 +(267)- [X]
<Supergoad> im about to bid on a damn fine sexy router
<Supergoad> im gonna sleep with it, caress its ports with my tounge
<Supergoad> then im gonna plug my cable into it
<Supergoad> and its LED's are gonna go wild
#98111 +(589)- [X]
<_Nathan> thats a lot of licenses you bought viss ;)
<visionz> cost me 3 arms and a dozen legs
<visionz> living near a cemetary rox :)
#139616 +(335)- [X]
<NightGyr> have you tried EFnet?
<hamann> No, I don't do drugs
#147732 +(866)- [X]
<Nekroe> when any of yous were at high school, did any idiots ever knee you in the arse, and go: 'YOUVE JUST BEEN BOOFED UP THE ARSE BY AN ELEPHANT!'?
<than> when I was at high school, some elephants came up behind me and stuck their dicks in my ass and said "YOU'VE JUST BEEN KNEE'D IN THE ARSE BY A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!"
<Nekroe> mmm. clever
<than> I didn't think it was clever. I thought it was a bit juvenile. Those elephants should have known better
#164514 +(1065)- [X]
<dnc> yesterday ivana had some friends over, and they were flicking through the tv channels, and accidentally hit the input selector - and got the pc tv out input... and spent like 30 minutes watching me play halo thinking it was a tv show
<dnc> glad i wasnt looking at hardcore pr0n
#349856 +(1240)- [X]
<tyranid05> So I was in auto shop measuring a brake disc tonight. It came out to be 1.1337"
<tyranid05> I started to laugh. When asked why by the teacher, I explained about l33t.
<tyranid05> When I came out of class my car was egged. :(
#454203 +(8359)- [X]
<drmason> there was this one time I was wanking to porn...
<drmason> so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs
<drmason> alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door
<drmason> I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"
#714577 +(1187)- [X]
JDR-TSS: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of unrestricted internet access. You're afraid of not being fed content to you like AOL does. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show you customers what you don't want to see. I'm going to show you an intarwebs without holding your hand. An intarwebs without netnannies and content filters, without borders or boundaries. An intarwebs where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
BBuie-TSS: you really dont have a life do you?
JDR-TSS: There is no life.
#724327 +(275)- [X]
<Jimmothy> i have girl hands
<Jimmothy> and nice nails to match
<@D1> the better to handle my ballz
<Jimmothy> anyone can hold peanuts D1
#754839 +(599)- [X]
< Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me a sysadmin zombie!
< Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and labeling today :-D
< daven> fun
< Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss
#760500 +(60)- [X]
Chadwick: bash is like community college, it's all the class clowns and complete idiots
#774626 +(993)- [X]
<Aelfinn> I'm psychic
<Aelfinn> I can predict what will happen in the future
<Gundulf> Yeah, then what am I going to say next?
#846604 +(237)- [X]
<andy> meaningful conversation always brighten one's day...
<Pkekyo|> no fucking wonder it's pitch black outside
#918504 +(334)- [X]
Eli: Today this black kid who acts pretty white was trying to convince me that hes asian cus hes a ninja
Eli: I said
Eli: "ninja please"
Eli: It was awesome.
#949197 +(5182)- [X]
<blaxthos> you want bash.org should participate in the SOPA blackout protest on 18 January ? (+) for yes