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#180 +(327)- [X]

<goh2> my parents are budgeting me
<goh2> 400$ a month for a computer
<goh2> for the next 3 months
<goh2> i spent 100$ on weed

#619 +(410)- [X]

*** zaney was kicked by Ash (I know you're not stupid! Don't think you can fool me!)
*** Ash sets mode: +b *!*zane@*.cyberverse.com
<hypr> hahaahhaha
<Ash> [13:35] <zaney> whats the greatest nation in the world?
<Ash> [13:36] <Ash> Mexico!
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> uriNATION HAW YOU idiot!@
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> hahahahhaa
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> thats funny
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> urination is peee btw
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> pee jokes own

#910 +(1704)- [X]

<Kury^> the other day i found out that my Uni's fire evacuation policy for ppl with wheelchairs is to 'push them into a room, close the door, escape and then give the room number to the firemen'

#1278 +(767)- [X]

<Amanda> USER             TTY      FROM              LOGIN@  IDLE WHAT
<Amanda> amanda           p0       ppp152.acelink.n  2:46AM     - pico vi-tutorial

#2310 +(885)- [X]

<CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..
<CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience... soon......
<CYBORG> i need brave partener....
<CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........

#3403 +(325)- [X]

* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /

#3918 +(435)- [X]

<zetullus> This is just not happening. Im sure I was smarter than this when I went to bed

#8069 +(970)- [X]

<FaNtAcIgYrL> ello
<jeff> Do you realise that you have spelt both the words "fantasy" and "girl" incorrectly ? By doing this, are you displaying a vain attempt at what some may refer to as "coolness" ? Or is it that you can not spell ? If the former, I suggest you rethink your stance on social status and its implications. The later, perhaps you should start attending school.

#8134 +(377)- [X]

*** Starlet is now known as StarBBS
<Jerub> BBS?
<Jerub> as in dialup?
<Jerub> whats the number?
<Jerub> is it subscription?
<Jerub> got a large file section?
<Jerub> is it on fidonet?
<StarBBS> bbs as in be back soon

#8291 +(587)- [X]

<darkness> anyone heard about the new startrek movie yet?
<darkness> ...did he just say what I think he said?
<questie> I believe he just admitted to being russian, but I'm not quite sure...

#8413 +(257)- [X]

<ohio_ohio2> so what is the world coming to?
<X-Chaos-X> orgasms.

#12076 +(379)- [X]

<Scibert> Meeko: I know nothing about the female waste system, but I would tend to think that having an emitter that you move around would make your aim better.
<Chirako> She lowered her lips to his... swelling emitter...

#17271 +(994)- [X]

<Tetrad> the program I just wrote 1) compiled the first time without any errors and 2) worked like it was supposed to
<Tetrad> I don't know whether to be proud or scared to death

#20755 +(741)- [X]

<Teirlap> Nickelback needs to be shot. All of them.
<Bucky> Why stop there?
<Teirlap> Uh... Because I need to reload?

#23428 +(903)- [X]

<Demonhunter> so.. i may be losing my cable modem soon.. who knows
<Idle_Timmy> man, that sucks.
<Idle_Timmy> maybe you need a mike's hard lemonade.
<Demonhunter> i need a liter of jaggermeister
<Demonhunter> and alzadie
<Idle_Timmy> tell me a hooker couldn't help.
<Demonhunter> depends on the hooker
<Idle Timmy> a hooker with dsl in her hotel room
<Demonhunter> ohh...
<Demonhunter> now i could use that
<Demonhunter> i would be downloading so much porn with her dsl connection...
<Idle_Timmy> "What kind of 'bandwidth' do you get, if you know what i mean"
<Demonhunter> hehe
<Idle_Timmy> "Depends on your 'hardware', sugar" ;o
<Idle_Timmy> "So where can i 'plug it in'?"
<Idle_Timmy> "oooohh, you bring the 'modem', big boy, and i'll give you an 'outlet'"
<Idle_Timmy> "oh yeah, baby, I got your modem RIGHT HERE"
<Idle_Timmy> *pulls a laptop out of his trenchcoat*
<Demonhunter> lmao...
<Idle_Timmy> "now let's see if my 'router' is compatible with your 'hub' and we can get some 'peer to peer' action going"

#23965 +(7)- [X]

[Mew|WC3] linux is unix
[@SiZZuRp] windows is mac
[Mew|WC3] it Is unix
[Mew|WC3] based on the Unix shell
[Mew|WC3] fucking newbie.

#24753 +(187)- [X]

<Misfortune_Cookie> I went to CostCo today
<Misfortune_Cookie> and you shoulda seen the look I got when I tried to hitch a ride on the forklift

#26636 +(860)- [X]

<Real^Quasar> anyway: my 56k is going half the speed it used to
<cts> it might be your line
<Threeboy> check if anyone is stepping on your wire
<Real^Quasar> hmm
<Threeboy> but don't put the modem to your face, cause they take thier foot off
<Threeboy> and you get sprayed with data.
<Real^Quasar> ...

#32816 +(768)- [X]

<mogismog> I hate people who come onto IRC and whine

#33955 +(498)- [X]

* Jbond64 yawns
* darkcloud stuffs a sock in Jbond's mouth
<waffle> darkcloud: you misspelled cock

#34966 +(270)- [X]

<Sede> That's a big word.. does it mean 'blowjob'?
<Potato> I thought that was "affection".
<Nyphur> Affection, Blowjob, same thing, isn't it?
<Potato> That's how I was raised.

#35912 +(224)- [X]

<[OZ\Lt]TheGodOfDeath[Away]> Is Janet Reno your mother? Sister? Lover?
<Crimson_Dynamo> all of the above
* [OZ\Lt]TheGodOfDeath[Away] runs away screaming

#36456 +(74)- [X]

(T1MMY) i just pinged yahoo.com
(T1MMY) 1st trial 888
(T1MMY) 2nd trial 741
(T1MMY) 3rd trial 439
(T1MMY) 4th trial 499
(T1MMY) min 439
(@Okelydokely) ...
(T1MMY) max 888
(T1MMY) avg 666

#36725 +(371)- [X]

<Aidan> If you found out a commet was about to strike Earth and you had five minutes to live, what you would do?
<Alsander> You mean, who would I rape

#37086 +(98)- [X]

<Frightener> anyone else have a problem with their balls getting out of alignment?

#37120 +(70)- [X]

quits: ReD_JaCk (john@mask-29052.intrstar.net) (Quit: Errection killed by beer)

#49425 +(6)- [X]

*** Now talking in #athlon
*** Topic is '<pitz_> just good ol fashioned diesel talk <---I  thought this was Taxi Cab Confessions?'
*** Set by Richter!~richter@pontiacil-240.illinois.prairieinet.net on Tue Nov 26 23:37:20
<Weng> Diesel talk: What goes on in truck stop diners when teenage prostitutes are absent
<Weng> Suddenly, pitz appears out of nowhere and refutes the idea that semis use true diesel because there is no "Freightliner FL70 TDI"

#51179 +(265)- [X]

<roOt-dIR> where can i get a free shopping cart?
<roOt-dIR> ?
<collapser> supermarket, then run away quickly

#52688 +(5)- [X]

<Louie[laptop]> http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2078843925
<err-afk> Louie
<err-afk> dont ebay anymore
<Louie[laptop]> why not
<Louie[laptop]> i am gonna buy some xeon workstations
<err-afk> some guy got arrested
<Louie[laptop]> why
<err-afk> for a big ebay scam
<Louie[laptop]> oh i dont participate in ebay scams
<cheesegoduk> yeah its only happened once

#52704 +(632)- [X]

<sit`> one of my female coworkers remarked about how i was cutting up my apple with great care so i said "you have to treat it like a woman, cut it in thin slices"
<sit`> didn't go over to well for some reason

#74684 +(215)- [X]

<SlasherX> #php is all communist based
* @Didgerama drives a tank down the middle of #php
<Ballig> Didgerama: You're a commie, you can't afford a tank
<Ballig> You can ride a bicycle with a dart gun, though

#76504 +(268)- [X]

<goatTRICKS> i used to go to this daycare
<goatTRICKS> and there was a big black retarded guy and he had nicknames for everyone that didnt make any sense
<goatTRICKS> and mine was Jukebox Brian

#79727 +(1090)- [X]

<zoweee> i'm holding out til the next election
<zoweee> if it goes against us, i'll seriously begin looking for my cultural fire exits
<zoweee> "There are exts at the front and the rear of american democracy. Please take this opportunity to familiarize yourself with the nearest exit. In the event of a theocratic american hegemony, lights will appear on either end of the aisle, marking the way to your exit for you."
<zoweee> in the unlikely event of the repeal of Ammendments 1-5, your seat cushion may be used to purchase carriage across one of our more porous borders
<zoweee> should there be a  depressurization of america's historical tolerance for diversity, bibles will drop from the overhead compartment. please read your own copy before assisting small children
<zoweee> please do not read pirated versions of the bible, as this may give aid and comfort to terrorist organizations
<qBaz> zow: marry me immediately
<zoweee> we thank you for flying Knee Jerk Republican Contract with America, and hope you'll enjoy your stay in 2003. Or wherever your final destination may be.

#85209 +(686)- [X]

*** gimpoid (~jj@adsl173-22.powerdsl.com.au) has joined #mpeg3c
<gimpoid> hey
<lut> sup gimp
<gimpoid> not much
<gimpoid> lud ?
<gimpoid> got fired
<gimpoid> need work :'(
<DrBK> oops
<DrBK> wrong channel

#100294 +(1107)- [X]

<noddy> this nekkid gurl is a cutie
<noddy> she's very nekkid now
<noddy> and playing with a carrot
<noddy> or a dildo
<noddy> not sure
<Mortarion> remind me never to eat anything you cook

#105874 +(293)- [X]

<Archeoptrix> Some girl I know is goign to open up an abortion clinic called "Humpty Dumpty" when she grows up

#127795 +(651)- [X]

<EvaUnit02> I had a dream that my minivan charged up my stairs and tried to run me over in my bedroom
<EvaUnit02> its gets better
<EvaUnit02> So I charged it and wrestled it.
<EvaUnit02> I ended up overhead pressing it and capsising it on the floor
<EvaUnit02> then I proceeded to get on my waterbed and scream "OWNED" at it.
<EvaUnit02> what would sigmund have to say about that one
<sir-gold> that you feel your masculinity threatened by the fact that you drive a minivan
<cd|work> you got abused by a minivan in your childhood, and have an oedipus complex for your mother
<EvaUnit02> sir-gold now THAT is a possibility

#147497 +(412)- [X]

<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'

#153941 +(810)- [X]

<Macolio> shaid: like last time, I helped scrybe do his chemestry assignment, even though I had no idea what I was doing. Because that's just the type of person I am.
<Shaid> and he failed.
<Macolio> that's irrelevant

#176156 +(594)- [X]

<Ettin> Still, I thought the war would be over by now.
<Ettin> No country has an infinite supply of suicide bombers.

#329292 +(10117)- [X]

<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

#383093 +(458)- [X]

<Sebastian> My computer is more than a little confused
<Sebastian> My DVD player thinks it's a zip drive . . .

#422419 +(1440)- [X]

<leif> well I used to go to a "special" school for troubled kids, so our classes were really easy and pretty dumb. One of them was "work study" and I remember one day a few kids were playing jenga on the main "study" table, and i got the most exellent idea to grab a small model plane from the teachers desk, throw it at the blocks, then after they fell over I shouted " HEY GUESS WHO I AM?!?!".... 
<leif> That's why i'm home schooled now :-(

#423529 +(1668)- [X]

Kult Radio: So I was with this girl
Kult Radio: She said "Give me eight inches and make it hurt"
Kult Radio: So I fucked her twice and hit her in the head with a brick.

#445396 +(462)- [X]

[ Stryker  ) OMGZ ASLZ
[ Stryker  ) ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) omg like
[ AnFguy   ) 14/f/naked
[ Stryker  ) omg like
[ Stryker  ) 13/f/OMG
[ Stryker  ) w/ pix ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) pix u say>
[ AnFguy   ) we should do tradsies
[ Stryker  ) omgz you have piz too?!?!

#477843 +(528)- [X]

<@LZ|5133p> gonna have to rebuild my fish tank tomorrow
<@LZ|5133p> getting a new filter
<@LZ|5133p> and fish
<+Toba> pkg_delete fish-tank-1.0.23b
<+Toba> cd /usr/ports/fish/fish-tank-1.2.43c
<+Toba> make all install clean -WITH_FILTER -WITH_FISH

#483469 +(1139)- [X]

me:what color bulbs should i get for my new headlights?
brother:get one red and one blue so everything is in 3D

#652472 +(850)- [X]

<Jlax> So we were watching this D.A.R.E. video in health
<Jlax> and they did that thing that they always do.
<Jlax> You know, when they're like,
<Jlax> "If you smoke, THIS will happen to YOU!"
<Jlax> And then they show a picture of a black person.

#736337 +(1032)- [X]

<Hoffish> pussy
<Hoffish> pussy
<Hoffish> pussy
<Hoffish> pussy
<p34rl34f> i get it
<Hoffish> .....crap

#910091 +(792)- [X]

<+Qaizar> damn, i just can't win an argument with my girlfriend
<@foD> There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

0.0730 21047 quotes approved; 55 quotes pending
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