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#421 +(488)- [X]

<Andrigaar> there's a good rumor to start up again. "Jacking off till it blisters will form calluses and make if bigger in a few months."

#925 +(258)- [X]

<lele> hypr is something of a "tragic" funny

#1651 +(607)- [X]

(tinkrbell) my dog humps my other guy dog.. instead of my girl dog.. at least he's comfortable with himself and realized it at an early age

#4917 +(345)- [X]

<clay> math is for kids who cant get by on looks and trench coats alone

#10829 +(36)- [X]

<BLAiR`o_o> does anyone know how i can make it so that my keyboard permenently holds down p?

#13282 +(281)- [X]

<Ferney> WTF??? benchmarks for a fuggin VIBRATOR?

#14609 +(38)- [X]

<[ryan]> there have been many times that i popped a boner on accident and i was like
<[ryan]> in a cold sweat
<[ryan]> trying to get that mother down

#15570 +(399)- [X]

<piglet3> [info] #gaysm      5       Don't f*&% with the topic PIG
<piglet3> They are into homosexual sadomasochism, but they can't bring themselves to spell out `fuck'.

#17886 +(352)- [X]

Tom - "Are you using networking cable to pull the sled?"
Dave - "Yea, it's only 10baseT, but it should be fast enough."

#18317 +(888)- [X]

<nzc> actually
<nzc> i need to msg quat
<nzc> there we go
<nzc> and
<nzc> i have to eat
<cj_> and
<cj_> you have
<cj_> to take off
<cj_> your return key
<cj_> and only
<cj_> use it for
<cj_> special occasions
<cj_> like
<cj_> when you finish
<cj_> a sentence

#23596 +(92)- [X]

<OutBreak^Monkey> just use my excuse, men built dishwashers so they didnt have to do the dishes.
<OutBreak^Monkey> women should learn from mens wisdom
<OutBreak^Monkey> buy the man a fucking dishwasher or do em yourself
<JT> heh
<^yob> hehe
<`2L_CodeMonkey> no, men built dishwasers cause the divorce rate increased and there wasn't wives to do the dishes for everyone

#27275 +(224)- [X]

<kisama> these penguin mints are weak
<Guilty> Snow you're in college now, you need amphetamines
<Guilty> No weak caffeine mints

#33941 +(301)- [X]

<J.Rai> Mr Pibb. - He's like Dr. Pepper without the degree.

#34203 +(67)- [X]

<Dalener> "Indentured Servant" is just a nice way of saying "Bitch ass slave"
<Porco-Russo> "Landscapers anyone?"
<Dalener> Did you know the Alabamaian with the most slaves was a black man who OWNED his mother?

#37996 +(196)- [X]

<Soberguy> redhat 8 can't decide if  a rpm is installed or not
<toxictv> Redhat is like anal sex - good every now and then, but if you rely on it too heavily, it starts to bleed out the ass.

#40253 +(138)- [X]

<ishmal> im so naiive sometimes,  for a while, i thought "Dubya" was some russian guy

#40309 +(181)- [X]

<@LordZERO> I used to think a girls butt was forbidden. I was so young, and naive...

#40501 +(131)- [X]

<Guilty> In my politics class, my teacher said the reason crime is dropping today is because the abortions started in 1973 of single mothers of ethnic backgrounds
<Guilty> Hence all the kids who were never born, arent here today to be criminals

#41270 +(272)- [X]

<MiK> dont question me
<abuse[phone]> about what mik?

#43568 +(705)- [X]

(mellly) i got ready to go out last night, and as i was leaving dad was coming in the door. he said "the bitch is ready for some action". i say "actually dad i'm not getting any action". he says "melissa, i was talking about the new plow i just put on the truck."

#43604 +(1641)- [X]

<Dan|Out>   my cat is using the toilet methinks
<ph`>   cool
<ph`>   make a video
<ph`>   with some close ups
<Reverend_Julian>   you'll make money
<SoM>   I need to take a shower
<ph`>   cool
<ph`>   make a video
<ph`>   with  some close ups
<Reverend_Julian>   you'll make money

#43902 +(872)- [X]

* gregor5678 (~quickchat@*.ipt.aol.com) has joined #support
<gregor5678> hello?
<gregor5678> hey, i have a quick question...
<gregor5678> my girlfriend is...experienced... and im not so much
<Cassy> this IS about irc right? ;)
<Matthew> lol
<Spirit_1100> rofl
<gregor5678> shes coming over this weekend with certain intentions (which im fine with, dont get me wrong)
<gregor5678> im just curious if theres anything i should or shouldnt do...
<Cassy> i'm seriously not able to help you with that, i'm sorry :)
<Spirit_1100> gregor5678, this is a chat server support room
<Spirit_1100> we can't help wiht your personal life
<gregor5678> right
<gregor5678> thanks anyway
<gregor5678> bye
* Quits: gregor5678 (~quickchat@*.ipt.aol.com) (QUIT: )

#46720 +(617)- [X]

<Buck> Light travels faster then sound, thats why people seem bright until you hear them...

#48331 +(174)- [X]

<@sniper_cs> where do you live?
<@sniper_cs> I can burn + send it
<@sniper_cs> maybe
<bobbles> about 3 metres from adsl area
<@sniper_cs> roflmao
<@sniper_cs> ouch
<bobbles> i lived here for like 8 years
<bobbles> then they finally bring adsl
<bobbles> and it stops 3 houses away
<BenZor> hahaha

#48965 +(197)- [X]

rageatm005: procrastination patrol™ would beat me with flaming torches and throw me into a volcano right now
Dr SpaZZo: Except theyre too lazy

#56826 +(141)- [X]

<Polaris> is my phone number on whois?
<Fina> Yes
<Fina> *picks up phone*
<Fina> *dials slowly*
<Polaris> I would know it was you.
<Polaris> Unfrotunently my caller ID is broken.
<Fina> ...my elves did their job well...

#59671 +(130)- [X]

<kv9> ive just adjusted my sitting position
<kv9> to conceal any possible sudden hardons

#63093 +(345)- [X]

<`RaSh> how do i install linux i got the cd and i dont see the setup.exe or install.exe

#70014 +(568)- [X]

<Burned> Its stuff like the Columbia shuttle disaster that really brings you down to earth

#73028 +(373)- [X]

<Verchiani> whats a good word to get shaved into the back of your head??
<DeathJester> idiot

#74330 +(267)- [X]

<shigelojoe>Y'know, the NAACP is always complaining about how black unemployment is up half the time
<shigelojoe>but if you think about it, the last time there were no unemployed black people in America, they didn't have benefits to go with it
<shigelojoe>like freedom, for instance

#87577 +(148)- [X]

<shok> what is the average life expectancy of a Saddam look alike ?

#90296 +(2411)- [X]

<Esk|out> If You're Happy And You Know It - Bomb Iraq
<Esk|out> If you cannot find Osama,bomb Iraq.
<Esk|out> If the terrorists are frisky,
<Esk|out> Pakistan is looking shifty,
<Esk|out> North Korea is too risky,
<Esk|out> Bomb Iraq.

#105334 +(242)- [X]

<RanmaGuy> you know what would be a great logo for rice pudding
<RanmaGuy> a tall black man with an asian hat working the rice fields
<RanmaGuy> as a whiteman rides a horse carrying a whip
<xv0wind0vx> that's so utterly racist even the KKK would be offended.

#110428 +(348)- [X]

(lupin) Animal Crossing bothers me.  They give you an axe, they give you a
+shovel.  They give you a vast expanse of tree-covered land.  But they don't
+let you kill and bury people.

#138594 +(123)- [X]

<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should measure ourselves up to.
<jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same thing and have it work for us for once.
<chaind> lol

#149134 +(358)- [X]

<xcham> as part of my CS experience, I'm going to debug java to try and meet geek chicks. :P
<xcham> then I'll e-mail Sun Microsystems and tell them "JAVA GOT ME LAID"
<jimmiejaz> java and chicks only go together at starbucks.

#162081 +(180)- [X]

<ByteSize> warez = abrv. from "where is"
<ByteSize> right?

#181129 +(492)- [X]

<fosheeze> i ate oatse for breakfast
<BigBrother_> was that a typo of oats, or goatse?
<BigBrother_> I'm hoping it was oats, or do you eat horribly disfigured anus?

#198381 +(564)- [X]

<Jeff> god...yesterday morning sucked hard
<Jeff> I woke up and took a shower, when I got out to find clothes, I opened the dryer and as I was rummaging around, I saw a dollar, so im like yoink...then I found another dollar, im like yeah! some sucker lost their dollars........then I found my paycheck...then my wallet.

#310549 +(240)- [X]

<james>once when I was at work at a cafe a man came in and ordered 3 'cappucini'
<james>I asked him if he would like a biscotto to go with that

#315042 +(3387)- [X]

<sexor> I went shopping last night at like 1am. the place was empty, and this old woman, just making polite convertation, said to me: "where is everyone??".
<sexor> I replied: "In bed, same place you and I should be!"
<sexor> Took me ten minutes to figure out why she gave me a dirty look

#358056 +(887)- [X]

<Silellak> Do you remember the good old days, when bottle caps said "YOU WIN" or "YOU LOSE", rather than giving you some lame code you redeem at their ad-filled website?
<Silellak> I miss being told I'm a loser by a corporate product :(

#389536 +(1541)- [X]

<Foxx> im never fallin in love
<Foxx> i've decided
<FuriousC> you dont choose who you love, love chooses you
<FuriousC> and that little fucking son of a bitch sticks itself to your face like the godless bloodsucking bastards in Alien and refuses to let go until it has drained your soul and left you an empty shell of a human being

#456792 +(702)- [X]

<SlipMage> ill have hd's up the ass once i get working
<Supachikn> interesting occupation

#674532 +(1337)- [X]

Dev100666: I bet in 1997 you would not have guessed you would be getting married before duke nukem forever came out

#676884 +(1528)- [X]

<Chalk> i got a new hard drive and i thought it was fucked cos there was a really weird noise coming from it
<LocK> heh, that sucks
<Chalk> then i realsied there was a crow at my windoe
<Chalk> going raaaaaaaaw
<Chalk> stupid crow

#744009 +(455)- [X]

<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work.
* ML-37 grins
<Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go".

#950902 +(860)- [X]

<TrailMix> Sorry Santorum, you have to carry your dead presidential campaign to full term.

#962982 +(767)- [X]

RageOmega: my gf's father yelled at me when he found out i took her virginity, i told him it wouldnt happen again and he let me off the hook

0.0642 21090 quotes approved; 862 quotes pending
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