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#52 +(6388)- [X]

<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''
<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard.

#904 +(245)- [X]

[00:15] <iMike> my name is on that
[00:15] <Fustard> yeah well
[00:15] <Fustard> i wrote your name all over my penis

#1359 +(599)- [X]

<Starchild> Someone say something clever/interesting/homoerotic, I'm bored.
*** Starchild was kicked by Defcon (All your base are belong to gay men. Sex.)

#1700 +(114)- [X]

thep0et> i can pull my scrotum up to the point where it looks like a pussy

#4284 +(319)- [X]

<toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade
<toxic> :)
<toxic> no actually not lesbians
<CrdStang> hahaha
<toxic> but that they could finger themselves
<spazzer> lol
<toxic> i was like oh shit! they use pencils too?!
<sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin em round
<sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "
<CrdStang> LOL
<sy|{0ti|{> yeah
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin school to do it
<sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit school to do it fulltime

#7748 +(1043)- [X]

< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "{" named.conf.newer | wc -l
< nutbar>   19314
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind] grep "}" named.conf.newer | wc -l
< nutbar>   19313
< nutbar> [root@linux!/usr/src/bind]
< nutbar> great
* nutbar fumes
< nutbar> one fucking missing }

#8009 +(450)- [X]

<@fragility> why is my modems "activity" lite flashing like crazy??
*** fragility (fragility@lsanca1-ar14-4-47-119-104.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net) Quit (Ping timeout)

#8076 +(470)- [X]

<Embercide> lol i just tried to RP for the first time
<Embercide> some guy was like "greetings" so i said "hail"
<Embercide> he asked "how art thee"
<Embercide> and i didnt know wtf to say so i made it look like i logged out

#8252 +(670)- [X]

<HomerHendelBergenHeinzel> ur so mean :L
<q> is that the frowning face of a stroke victim?

#9076 +(291)- [X]

<+violus> fucking figures, the week the modem gives out is the week I can't spend time with the woman.
<+Pavius> violus, just inflate another one

#9974 +(299)- [X]

Brianetta_afe > There's this other girl, who says she "values out friendship but..."
Brianetta_afe > and this continues:
Brianetta_afe > "... I wish it was more."
Josh_afe > lol, she's talking about your co...oh, never mind.

#22089 +(415)- [X]

<lavhoes> fuck me in the Ozarks...
<lavhoes> i was whacking off to this hot naked Japanese chick.
<lavhoes> and it's actually a guy.
<lavhoes> stupid How to Draw Manga books.

#22209 +(230)- [X]


#23228 +(144)- [X]

<pinepusher> Anyone know a good place where someone with no credit can get a loan???
<xENo> yeah, but the rates are high
<xENo> and if you miss a payment, they repo your life
<pinepusher> what are the rates like?
<pinepusher> any idea?

#33735 +(573)- [X]

<Pookablu> Ron Dwight, the author of the RAR compression format, passed away a few days ago. 
<ev> he was found in several same-size pieces and had to be combined to put him in the coffin

#34211 +(31)- [X]

<Khrath> brael fucks himself in the ass cause he's thinks it would make him gay to let his boyfriend
<Brael> so true

#34267 +(203)- [X]

<niko> whenever I see a korean media company or game company it's like
<niko> "see you don't need japan!"
<niko> "you can use us! and we work cheaper!"

#36857 +(53)- [X]

<Ryudo> java, the slower of the bunch
<Ryudo> aol, the ones tossed down the stairs when they were 3
<Ryudo> and java aol'ers...the bane of society

#38456 +(152)- [X]

<eggs_> yay, kernel is compiling now
<Befw11s4> i like to compile kernals
<eggs_> its really not that exciting
<eggs_> The exciting part is seeing whether your computer still boots afterwards :P

#40914 +(439)- [X]

* Praetorian is back: filling my tum tum after 17mins 11secs
<mil-soldat> Praetorian: you have the wierdest reasons in your script
<Praetorian> yep :-) ta
<milenko> what do you say when you go off with your gf for a bit of action?
<milenko> * Praetorian is back: filling my girlfriends tum tum  after 1mins 12secs

#41511 +(414)- [X]

<notmewse> so there i was, balls deep in this hookers ass
<notmewse> oh shit wrong window

#45288 +(311)- [X]

<Spooky42> my dad sounds like hes giving head everytime he eats a popsicle
<Spooky42> its fucking gross

#56808 +(151)- [X]

<SJr|Tecra> Someone say something to take my mind off the pain.
<wizer> just pleasure your self you will feel better
* wizer brb
<arrow|> probably going to take his own advice

#62707 +(227)- [X]

* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla all the time:
<choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; }
<rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links http://bash.org/\?$1 }
<martin> You lazy addicted fucks.
* martin adds it.

#63087 +(879)- [X]

<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n films to wank over
<riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.

#71944 +(570)- [X]

<+|neo|> FUCK!!!!!!!!!
<+|neo|> fucking donut
<+|neo|> this is gay
<+|neo|> i bit my lip while eating this donut
<+|neo|> hurt like a bitch
<+|neo|> bout 5 secs later i bit it in the same place again
<+|neo|> then it started bleeding
<@Decco> lol
<+|neo|> then about 20 secs ago i bit the same part again
<sic6sic> neo....dont move
<sic6sic> just....dont move

#74464 +(104)- [X]

<Spingo> I know of many MAN installations. I have even done a few myself.

#76726 +(460)- [X]

<@Ne[r]d> my father just walked behind me, and saw one of the buttons on the taskbar "AltaVista's Babe..." :O
<@Ne[r]d> he wanted to see it :p
<@Lizard> lol
<@Vader> lol
<@Vader> Sure, dad, translate away!

#76850 +(204)- [X]

<Kyle> blue cat5? heh
<xstraightedgex> MAGE
<xstraightedgex> ive got that
<xstraightedgex> and yellow
<waffle> all the cat5 I see in institutions is blue
<Ed> Yeah, I see that pretty often.
<Kyle> heh
<waffle> the high school I went to had it
<xstraightedgex> what about YELLOW
<Ed> Yellow too.
<Ed> I've seen yellow more often in crossovers, though.
<waffle> i was about to say that
<Graphic_V> My cat5 is blue.
<Graphic_V> This is the nerdiest conversation ever.

#83760 +(281)- [X]

<Winta> I Am Single...
<Playette69> aww poor winta
<Winta> I'm not asking for sympathy, im hyping myself up to rob a house tonight...
<Winta> Hey, do you live near here? you seem cool..

#87022 +(1178)- [X]

<chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98
<xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA

#88661 +(1175)- [X]

<jamz> hmm
<jamz> I have a bottle of waterless hand cleaner
<jamz> for car work and grease and stuff.
<jamz> It's almost empty.
<jamz> So, in order to stretch it out, I added some water to it.
<jamz> In retrospect, not the smartest thing to do.
<dan0_> this had better end with an explosion of some kind
<jamz> and there was a huge explosion that could be seen from space.

#102188 +(544)- [X]

< CausaSui> So I was showing a coworker bsd, and explaining flags, and speficically the schg flag
< CausaSui> And to give him an example that even root can't delete schg flagged stuff, I tried rm /kernel
< CausaSui> But it turns out that, for some reason, on fresh installs of 4.8, none of the kernels are flagged schg

#110264 +(1042)- [X]

SA_Williamson> Hello, who is the owner of this channel?
* Knirch goes down for maintenance.
<SA_Williamson> !list
<SA_Williamson> ok
<SA_Williamson> just to let everyone know i have a federal supena
<SA_Williamson> and will be entering you fileservers lawfully
<Knirch> lol
* Knirch sets mode: +b *!*saw@*.lab.fbi.gov
* dgk2 sets mode: -b *!*saw@*.lab.fbi.gov
<dgk2> not a good idea
<dgk2> Knirch .
<dgk2> —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— Nick: SA_Williamson
<dgk2> > Address: saw@pc1xd3.lab.fbi.gov «Government»
<dgk2> > Name: fbi
<dgk2> > SA_Williamson is using modes +ix
<dgk2> > SA_Williamson is connecting from *@pc1xd3.lab.fbi.gov
<dgk2> > Channels: #tvseries
<dgk2> > Server: fla.us.atomicchat.net, Atomic-Chat
<dgk2> > Channels in common with SA_Williamson: #tvseries
<CJdude[20]> whoa
<SkRiBBleZ> ok that's not cool

#118502 +(443)- [X]

<Valqorez> I heard a strange commercial on the radio at work today....
<Valqorez> "Treat yourself to a facial and raise money for charity at the same time."
<Valqorez> I was like "What is this, a sponsored bukkake?"
<Foz> hahaha
<Valqorez> My manager gave me a long, funny look.
<Foz> lol. I didn't think many people knew that word
<Valqorez> Maybe she speaks Japanese....
<Valqorez> Odd thing was, all I could do was shrug and and say "What?"
<Foz> I know that look

#160434 +(65)- [X]

<Bruce_MacCulloch> ever hear the saying "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything"? well, I have a corollary to that - it goes "if you cant say something meaningful, go away or be quiet"

#200545 +(498)- [X]

* edude84 (~extremedu@24-164-185-144.hvc.rr.com) has joined #Help
<edude84> dude
<edude84> are there cheats for IRC?

#209828 +(975)- [X]

*** Now talking in #blackpride
<Rosen> no, in a perfect world we'd be treated as equals
<@Ph43rDnky> no, in a perfect world we'd be treated as superiors
<Jaayy> In a perfect world, you wouldn't even exist!  Whadya say to that?
<@Ph43rDnky> that's not a very appropriate comment for a black pride channel
<Rosen> shut up jaay you fag
<Jaayy> Oh, you mean this is a channel for proud black people? I thought it was for white people who are proud of their slaves
<@Ph43rDnky> Jaayy, stop now or I'll ban you.
<Jaayy> Alright fine... anybody play warcraft 3?
<Therman> I do
<Jaayy> Want to join a clan?
<Therman> Sure, what's it called?
<Jaayy> K-hadgar's
<Jaayy> K-razy
<Jaayy> K-illers.
*** You were kicked by Ph43rDnky (bastard)

#237981 +(591)- [X]

 --- Received a CTCP FINGER from Tru7h
<scythe> stop fingering me, Tru7h
<Tru7h> im just testing it out
<Tru7h> I have never fingered anyone before
<Tru7h> ...
<Tru7h> oh god
<Tru7h> that so didn't
<Tru7h> sound right
<scythe> excuse me while i quote that

#253683 +(853)- [X]

<Sarah> I just saw 28 Days Later
<rude-inverse> that's one of those movies I always planned on seeing but never did.
<rude-inverse> what was the significance of "28 days"? the only thing I associate 28 days with is a menstrual cycle.
<Sarah> maybe that's why there was so much blood.

#387548 +(128)- [X]

crazycougr: saw rick james died?
phaded 001: yup
crazycougr: 'natural causes'
phaded 001: wonder what chappelle is gonna do now
crazycougr: cocaine is natural isnt it?

#488189 +(2509)- [X]

<ZhanDVG> Dammit
<ZhanDVG> I kept glancing at the computer thinking that the channel was dead...
<ZhanDVG> Then I realised I was looking at Notepad :(
<DJ-Neo> ....
<Ice_Dragon> wow.
<Ice_Dragon> Zhan, I can safely say I don't think any of us are ever going to top that

#659196 +(1418)- [X]

<rush> anyone ever notice that klingons speak unix?
<rush> "Grep ls awk chmod"
<rush> "Mknod ksh tar imap"
<rush> "Wall fsck yacc"
<assassin> dude. you even give geeks a bad name.

#665807 +(9258)- [X]

omg its zack wtf: my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

#695897 +(427)- [X]

RandomLs: I find it strange that grown men are still obsessing over pokemon cards.
xZeppelin Martyr: I'm guessing you never owned a Japanese holographic Charazard when you were little.

#773234 +(387)- [X]

<MadClown> i have your soul
<fall0ut> no, some pine tree had my soul one night
<fall0ut> when I was drunk
<fall0ut> I chopped it down and dragged it through a field for 2 hours
<fall0ut> and got my soul back
<fall0ut> kthnx
<fall0ut> ^-- true story
<MadClown> for some strange reason, i beleive you
<eclypse> yea.. i can honestly say i dont doubt this
<fall0ut> nothing like an axe in one hand
<fall0ut> a beer in another
<fall0ut> screaming at the tree
<fall0ut> then tying a logging chain to it and dragging it around a field
<fall0ut> ....
<fall0ut> yea.....

#823025 +(1992)- [X]

<tgr> i told my girlfriend that she's "math girl, doer of math: unable to integrate with society, only with functions of x"
<tgr> and guys, this is why she's my girlfriend. she said:
<tgr> "i could do a u substitution..."

#882294 +(462)- [X]

<@jamesG> You know those naruto headbands some people actually wear?
<@jamesG> I remember someone refering to them as "Pussy Deflectors"
<@jamesG> I laughed until I saw a female wearing one...

#952948 +(1265)- [X]

<gmaxwell> 1960: "I have a great idea! lets have every person in the country carry a radio tracking beacon!" "That'll never fly!"  2012: "I can has TWO iphones??"

#965959 +(759)- [X]

<pawz> i use lilo :") in fact.. my first cat was called Lilo
<pawz> i would take him to the vet and they would be like "Oh, Lilo, from the Disney movie" and i would say "Oi, check his birth date. he was born years before that shitty movie. his name is short for LInux LOader"
<Stranj> And then the vet gave you a shot to calm you down?

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