#594 +(952)- [X]
<Johnno> my favorite animal is the scapegoat
#1370 +(371)- [X]
<diz> i remember sticking lightbright pegs in places they shouldn't go on a girl
#1455 +(217)- [X]
<KMFDM> Your rank out of 1918856 total users is: 411951st place
<bocz> aha whats that for
<bocz> a beauty contest?
#2757 +(449)- [X]
*** Now talking in #honda
*** Topic is '<xessor> anyone know how to make fire come out the tailpipe?'
#4152 +(156)- [X]
<boozie> AnIonU: if i washed my dick would you suck it?
<AnIonU> bbozie: if you washed your dick you would realize that it was only dirt...no dick
#4852 +(294)- [X]
<ryo-ohki> and it would be an understatement to say I AM FUCKING BAKED OUT OF MY MIND
<DCBastard> lol - what else is new?
<DCBastard> one day you should come into the channel and go "WOW - I AM TOTALLY FUCKING STRAIGHT" - we'd all be like "holy shit! that is amazing!"
#6967 +(854)- [X]
<kate> you MALE. always wanting to talk about football instead of my menstrual cycle.
#7064 +(187)- [X]
<Staberinde> The worst of the bunch was this
* Staberinde points at his crotch
<Staberinde> "Ya know this thing isn't going to blow itself!"
<CrashCat> it will if you wire it with explosives
<Staberinde> Well yes, but that's only when the zombies are near
#7502 +(13)- [X]
<miss_tekky_stylez> asian shits are dope..
<miss_tekky_stylez> like take for instance
<miss_tekky_stylez> when a big log hits the water
<miss_tekky_stylez> it doesn't make the "bloop" noise..
<miss_tekky_stylez> it goes... "You break you buy!"
<miss_tekky_stylez> or "You have dishonord my family!"
#7917 +(151)- [X]
<Zaph23> I wanna go to one of those h00ker golf tourneys
<Zaph23> I can't play for crap but who cares
<DJ_Dave> gotta pay extra to play that hole
#9083 +(166)- [X]
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> but me and my GF are going to buy a DVD pr0n
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> hell yeah
<[-FeC-]sKratch> special features: see from the camera in the guy's urethra
<[-FeC-]sKratch> and see from the camera in the other guy's ass
#10618 +(119)- [X]
<Speedsta> heh, just wasted 25c on a msg saying: ":`("
#14554 +(1)- [X]
<fsdf> I DONT CARE I DONT LIKE TALKING TO NAZIS
<fsdf> ESP. JEWISH NAZIS
#16472 +(598)- [X]
<AkumaUsagi> because every scoobie doo episode could have been 1 minute long if only someone would have eventually bought a gun.
#17993 +(87)- [X]
* Elysian changes topic to 'Metallica is the best thing to happen to pop since Micheal Jackson'
#21282 +(424)- [X]
<ChugChug> so like... uhh.. what language do you use?
<ChugChug> is that like perl? :)
<LaC> god i hope not
#26636 +(819)- [X]
<Real^Quasar> anyway: my 56k is going half the speed it used to
<cts> it might be your line
<Threeboy> check if anyone is stepping on your wire
<Threeboy> but don't put the modem to your face, cause they take thier foot off
<Threeboy> and you get sprayed with data.
#26766 +(173)- [X]
<Spink> I shot myself in the neck, that sucked
<Minion> it's too bad you obviously survived
<Spink> If only it was a gun
<Spink> I'd probably be happier
<Minion> We'd all be happier
<Spink> jizz on my collar :/
#28970 +(315)- [X]
<jestuh> QDB TIP OF THE DAY: ALL THE GOOD NIGGERS JOKES CAN BE ACCESSED BY CLICKING 'BOTTOM'
#29939 +(15)- [X]
dodee: I look british.
dodee: I think it's the haircut.
[jhk]: it's probably the teeth
#31337 +(36)- [X]
[@Kamagurka] (akino): if you are no freak, what are you then? you already admitted to being a goth, you know...
[+akino] i know. but i am not a freak.
[+akino] i am from mars
#32223 +(179)- [X]
<daggorath> What are the good Hindu channels on Efnet?
<fdog> I am not to be knowing what the good hindu channels are to being
#33357 +(124)- [X]
< Begbie> I wonder if I pester the Real Doll company long enough, if they'll produce a midget Real Doll?
#34183 +(318)- [X]
<Emmy> When I was in Helsinki, I couldn't stay at the house of a friend, because they had - well, crawly things, too
#34374 +(261)- [X]
<artrix> happens to all of us
<cwd> but i only have this one terminal open
#37407 +(136)- [X]
<Salmon Gurl>I like gays because their funny and nice to be with. Thats why I'm not a lezbian.
<Salmon Gurl>Guys....I ment guys....
#41201 +(111)- [X]
<mike||afk> does anyone here have princess tutu?
<Callick> I sure hope not.
#42606 +(435)- [X]
<Rossell1> weird thing happened last night
<Rossell1> I had a dream where I was on IRC
<Rossell1> and everybody kept saying potatoes
#45596 +(726)- [X]
<Uncle_Tobias> I hate people who AIM me when I'm masturbating.
<Kevyn> I hate people who AIM at me while masturbating.
#45803 +(331)- [X]
<Kevyn> Ugh. I just had to explain to Jessica what fap meant. Thanks guys.
#49912 +(173)- [X]
<Intranete> but i never got into just sitting around and programming, i was more into sitting around and playing with my hardware
#57942 +(265)- [X]
<SnowSpectre> good lord... I search for "dos 5" on winmx and this turns up
<SnowSpectre> 5 young student girls fucked by 2 gym teachers (Lolita Teen Preteen Porn Rape Sex Nude) QWER(1).mpg
<Bullet> Lovely. lol
<SnowSpectre> and two more ~1GB porn movies
<SnowSpectre> and they're all chicks. come on, if you're going to return porn when I search for old versions of dos, at least tailor it to my needs
<SnowSpectre> something like "hunky british sys admin flames stupid newbies"
* Tobisaurus smirks
#71433 +(416)- [X]
<hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not only against our rules but it is also against the law. It constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud. Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
*** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
<Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?
#88743 +(313)- [X]
<unchellmatt> I work for a police station.
<enaz> hmm I'd like to meet the ppl in the cyber crime div
<goatasaur> enaz: you will someday
#107515 +(383)- [X]
<Legal18f> yet they insist on a/s/l!
<Legal18f> Isn't it obvious by my nick that I'm a 21 year old male?
#111522 +(745)- [X]
<Squidwerd> *sings* Ooooooooo-oh supersadomasochistinecrobestiality, it's when you get a hard-on making Lassie a fatality!
#139147 +(801)- [X]
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't fuckin around!
#260690 +(384)- [X]
*** Trel_Nadal is now known as ElmerFudd
[ElmerFudd] Shhhhhhhhh!!! Be vewwy vewwy quiet...I'm hunting wamers...Huhuhuhuh
[ElmerFudd] Wook!! a wascawy wamer!!!
*** ElmerFudd sets mode: +b *!*implyunix@*.libertysurf.co.uk
*** SimplyBSD|fuck was kicked by ElmerFudd (Oh! No! I killed the wamer!!!.)
*** ElmerFudd is now known as Trel_Nadal
#282983 +(477)- [X]
* Lexica-chan watches an ep of Yugioh. :)
<[chibi]> how come they can't tell when he magically doubles in size
<[chibi]> "there's something a bit different about him..more...confidence?"
<[chibi]> NO YOU FUCKWITS, HE JUST HIT PUBERTY IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE
#308197 +(351)- [X]
(%b0x) there used to be this song by Genesis that said "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm right."
(%b0x) apparently though, i used to go around singing "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm white!" when I was 5 rofl
#363616 +(709)- [X]
* Ksu eats a bowl of crappy generic macaroni
* SSL_Eefui idly drinks arsnic.
* Nigelenki stops fui o.o
<Nigelenki> arsenic isn't edible o.o;;
<Shadow> Yes, it is
<Shadow> But only once
#364176 +(840)- [X]
<sunfish>I stopped a rape in the city last night
<Donnyman>How'd you do that
<sunfish>Simple I stopped following her.
#395262 +(632)- [X]
krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire countries. A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an unfortunate error in translation.
#453250 +(1009)- [X]
Explosions: why didnt' you come?
FlakGuitar: food poisoning
Explosions: what did you have
#454578 +(1178)- [X]
Opti: i was really bored... had 2 options... 1) watch paint dry 2) come to #general
Opti: i chose the paint...
Opti: but thats dry now :/
#458650 +(1248)- [X]
<@drwiii> so ecbc and I go to gamestop to get Mario 64 DS.
<@drwiii> and i bring my DS along.
<@drwiii> then we go to this chinese restaurant.
<@drwiii> and as ecbc's coming back from the restroom, he's like "dude did that
kid steal your gameboy?"
<@drwiii> there was some kid at another table fucking around with PictoChat on
his own DS
<@drwiii> so i changed the nickname on mine, found the room he was in, and
scribbled "What you just ate wasn't chicken." and sent it
<@drwiii> and like 10 seconds later i hear over my shoulder "EWWWW!"
<@drwiii> apparently he showed it to his mom
<@drwiii> i powered mine down and kept on eating.
<@drwiii> that was the best thing EVER.
#465551 +(1111)- [X]
<LazyWulfran> i've watched enough asian porn to discern that when 2 asian people have sex, semen goes everywhere except where it needs to go for conception. therefore, they must have an alternate method of reproduction
#500338 +(1274)- [X]
<robotobon> i am a bastard operator from hell
<robotobon> i used to sneek into the server room and unplug ethernet at random and run
<robotobon> then 5 minutes later i'd get a call at my desk
<robotobon> and i'd fix it really fast and be a hero
#623506 +(901)- [X]
<Rebka> y'know what i dont get? Lesbians who date girls who look like thye may as well be guys... I mean... WTF.. it's like deciding you like skydiving, then buyng a submarine.
#670270 +(962)- [X]
PinkBabe571: i have to beat guys off with a stick
ALLSTAR4212: just beat them off with your hands