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#772 +(616)- [X]

<gb> it's impossible to argue with the ignorint

#1101 +(696)- [X]

[Guilty] Jean-Claude Van Damme made a movie named "Replicant" in 2001?
[Guilty] When did that come out
(McMoo) 2001

#1935 +(594)- [X]

::: .topic@11.06a> DogGoBoom in #p-raves; I'm so horny the crack of dawn had better be careful around me

#2123 +(451)- [X]

<CoderMan> kritical, you are dumber than a dead rock
<matts> dead rock
<matts> umm
<matts> CoderMan news flash
<matts> rocks can't live
<matts> :

#2278 +(84)- [X]

<daisu> [23:05] <@Schrieks> and i don't relate to japanese guys in pr0n
<daisu> [23:05] <@Schrieks> their willies are tiny
<daisu> This is so garrishly true
<daisu> I think that's why there are so many asian people
<daisu> sperm has less length to travel

#2812 +(320)- [X]

<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses

#3074 +(58)- [X]

<Keyman> dam I just lost 128k on my upstream!
<Jumper> damn, same here, now I can only download that CD in 3.04secs instead of 3.0400000001

#3295 +(273)- [X]

(Segment7) You cant buy happiness.
(Segment7) but you can lease it for $10,000/month

#3883 +(66)- [X]

<baras> who can help me to find job in holland, maybe in farm? pls

#4158 +(354)- [X]

* cococutie does the deaf hottie victory dance :)
<Rhelik> cococutie: deaf hottie?  why deaf?
<estranger> Rhelik: mainly cus she can't hear  =)

#4226 +(371)- [X]

<Hendrix> Romance is flowers, Perversion is sticking the flowers up her ass

#4500 +(223)- [X]

<vecna> Holy fucking christ, lord and savior, show us your tits, that's a lot of ZSNES ASM code

#6770 +(323)- [X]

<Romhog> anyone know what an (edict 75) repeating error is in 3wctf?
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- yes
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- but i'm not telling you
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- until you comment on my nipples
<Romhog> they look like little stereo knobs  ;o

#7931 +(290)- [X]

<SPACEBOY|GTA3> when the pain stops... thats when you know you've kicked the bucket
<nuggetman> i just read the obituaries to make sure i'm not there

#7932 +(278)- [X]

<@n909> this guy is traveling in oregon
<@n909> and ran out of weed
<@n909> so he comes to #oregon
<@n909> and asks us for some

#12891 +(176)- [X]

<JallakWriting> "mammario-fetishistic" is a memorably stupid sounding phrase. How about "tit-happy"?

#14854 +(241)- [X]

<egypt> how do you spell it.. caffiene or caffeine?
<Nighthawk> Caffeine
<StarThorn> I spell it: L - I - F - E. ;-)
<Nighthawk> C8H10N4O2 :)

#16601 +(441)- [X]

<Weirdo> Sooty just brought a mouse into my room
<Weirdo> brb
*** Weirdo is now known as Weirdo|F00d

#17973 +(350)- [X]

<Lyfe> definition of porking: going to the club with the intention of sleeping with the fattest hoe you can find, in the hopes your bitch will be fatter then the ones your buddies pick up, so you get the pot of money.
<Lyfe> oops, wrong channel =/
<Lyfe> disregard
Morlack coughs
<Rakash|HoW> Lyfe you need a little timeout?
<Morlack> No, I think he needs a better plan at getting women.

#22152 +(351)- [X]

<skold> 'the wilder funeral home - let your loved ones have a wilder funeral' ;)
<liss> i dont think those places have mottos
<liss> it isnt mcdonalds
<skold> 'did somebody say embalming?'

#34253 +(216)- [X]

* Mage_ scoots away from Dykstra
* Dykstra plays with his pokeballs
* Mage_ scoots further
<SteveD> uh huh
* Dykstra squirtles SteveD
<SteveD> eegad!

#36675 +(1255)- [X]

<synthie> one of my cats was licking her butt like cats do...
<synthie> farted in her own face and fell off the bed
<Sheri> thats why i hate animals
<synthie> knocked herself out

#38244 +(273)- [X]

<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> have... to... get... out of... chair
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> argh
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> i have to go to the toilet but i've to go all the way down then
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> downstairs
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> i'm at the attick
* YoungBlood throws a pie down the stairs
* {GkC}-LiQ[na] runs after it
<Azzid> owned!! :D

#38380 +(494)- [X]

<Argent-> Call a few adoption agencies asking for a hot 17 year-old girl with a birthday coming up, and they start with the suppoenas.

#45837 +(580)- [X]

<ruumis> FBI says upcoming terror attack will be "Spectacular!"...Donald Rumsfeld is calling it a "Must See", and Tom Ridge says, "If you heed just one Terror Warning this year...heed this one !"

#50926 +(194)- [X]

[ @DrZaius44 ] i miss anything?
[ +CpuMan2001 ] !seen anything
[ @Drunkfux ] CpuMan2001, anything was not found in the database.
[ +CpuMan2001 ] apparantly not

#51424 +(179)- [X]

<mikaru> cumshots are amusing.
<autistk> bukkake isn't however.. it's just odd
<autistk> fuckin japanese have to always take a decent idea and then totally fuck it up
<mikaru> scary part with jap porn is the girls are yelping and yet the guys arent exactly well endowed, almost as though it's a porno and not real, but i refuse to belief that.
<autistk> they probably put wasabi on them or something
<mikaru> ahahah

#53173 +(75)- [X]

*** User Jezus has logged off the chat for idle time (13293 seconds).
[PlanetBob] Wow.. we've been visited by Jezus.. the new..and HIP jesus..

#53181 +(434)- [X]

<Eku{MY}> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?

#58188 +(503)- [X]

<chem> IM my friend gray then
<chem> Hes got so much porn he gets popups when hes browsing his own pc

#59874 +(465)- [X]

* dazalyn *wisks* off her bra... aaaahhhhh freedom
<nymph`grl> daz: Hehehe. This is why I love tank-tops with the shelf bra.
<dazalyn> my boobs are too big for the shelf bra to actually work...
<dazalyn> i wear them anyway
<dazalyn> lol
<nymph`grl> same here, lol
<Wildcard`> too much information
<nymph`grl> on a DDD it's really hard to keep them in check in those things. :)
<shayden> too much information?
<shayden> not enough visuals

#62355 +(174)- [X]

* Joins: SJr|Tecra (Sjr@west373.authent.sfu.ca)
<RoChess> SJr, i like your new dns, if it had a T in it, i'd join that college

#76250 +(232)- [X]

<hansblix> they should have a fear factor where they eat dead iraqi babies
<hansblix> after the war
<hansblix> hey
<hansblix> can i take that last comment back
<hansblix> i think it was kinda weird
<hero> a little
* tghost changes topic to '<hansblix> they should have a fear factor where they eat dead iraqi babies'
<hansblix> damn

#77345 +(156)- [X]

<HackerJoe^Away> hell, don't you guys ever read isonewz or nforce... how did you get in here?
<TheBrax> I used packetne*s (just in case it's a bad word) and xdccspy
*** mfer sets mode: +b *!*@DAABE17B37.addictz.net
*** TheBrax was kicked by mfer (*xdccspy* - word not allowd in #Datavault - 5 mins Ban.)

#81157 +(208)- [X]

<Slayer> tbh i cba
<[S3E]Busy> there u go
<[S3E]Busy> an entire generation in one sentence
<Slayer> two abbrivs in one sentance im good
<[S3E]Busy> i think we have different outlooks on life
<Slayer> notice i abbrieviated abbrieviate
<[S3E]Busy> *sigh*

#100740 +(560)- [X]

<Wippersnapper> Guess what fools, I am going skydiving
<schnorks> Why does that make us fools?
<Wippersnapper> Because I am jumping out of a plane... oh wait

#102620 +(163)- [X]

<esco600> why would someone's mom be on bash.org?
<aNuBiS-> moms need nerd love too

#176176 +(836)- [X]

<Jesus> and i kept getting banned simply becuase i lived in france

#179649 +(289)- [X]

<gpi> -:- BitchX: Join to #brocku was synched in 0.153 secs!!
<gpi> i love the double exclamation mark
<gpi> as if that's shattering some world record
<trigga> lol

#202293 +(905)- [X]

<pengo> parents coming tomorrow.. empty trash, hide bong, wear clothes

#202523 +(32)- [X]

<kim> heh... i just got on my gma's aol account... she has an email from her friend w/ the subject of: 7 great positions in bed
<Kirill> omg
<Kirill> are you serious kim?
<Kirill> hahahahha wtf

#270829 +(333)- [X]

(making NPCs for D&D)
<Stefanf> Hurrah! I have decided what to spend the remaining 535 gp on!
<Stefanf> The captain of the Stade city guard now owns 267 sheep!
<Neko_Ali> Stefanf: make sure to buy him lots of fantasy bling bling.
<Neko_Ali> Gold plated chainmail.
<Neko_Ali> a solid platinum toasting fork.
<Sutekh> gold plated Bikini
<Stefanf> Diamond-covered ring of protection?
<Neko_Ali> and a totally tricked out low-rider horse with hydraulics!
<Stefanf> lmao!
<Neko_Ali> can't you just see him on inspection parade, bouncing along with his magical music box blaring from the saddle?

#358180 +(649)- [X]

<freemysoul> my bro's wife divorced him
<freemysoul> he's got a kid and all, too
<freemysoul> the kid decided to live with his mom
<detranova> poor kid
<atlantis> poor woman
<naisesom> your bro's a lucky bastard

#447980 +(318)- [X]

<holgie> One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom,The wife was getting out of the shower   and the husband grabs her boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn`t need a bra." The wife was repulsed by his behavior and ignores him. The next week the two are again in the bathroom and while the wife was getting out of the shower he grabs her ass and says "If your ass was firmer you wouldn`t need a girdle." The wife is now pissed and is ploting her revenge. One day a week later the husband is getting out of the shower and the wife grabs his dick and says "If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn`t need your brother."

#615496 +(2086)- [X]

<Rebbel> Man Google Earth is awesome
<Android18> Why?
<Rebbel> Im looking at my house
<Rebbel> brb, pizzas here
<BFMV> Now thats what i call technology

#665971 +(56)- [X]

<Winchester> I just watched a PSA video of how to save ourselves from atomic bombs in the `40s.
<Winchester> And I realized: "Oh, shit, we`re at risk."
<Winchester> And then I watched a video of the Brady kids and I was too happy to care.
<Winchester> Conclusion: The Ruskies used the Brady kids to distract us.
<Winchester> Reason for Failure: The Bradys lacked musical talent and Jan was an emo bitch.

#679854 +(1168)- [X]

<bTm> I swear to God, if you ever say that to me again, I will remove each and every one of your limbs, including your tiny penis, with a rusty spoon, shove your bleeding stumps into buckets of rock salt, then force you to eat your way out of a hole filled with your own feces and body parts.
<Xeonspire> Er. All I said was, "Hi".

#698150 +(573)- [X]

<Dave> Well. I'mma go shower and then go pick up my friend from jail.
<Dave> I'll be back later.
<Shadowpillar> ask him how big his anus is
<Dave> He's a big dude, no one's going to fuck with him.
<Shadowpillar> ask him how many other people he's cornholed
<Shadowpillar> lol
<Dave> He's been in jail for roughly 5 hours.
<Dave> And he has a girlfriend.
<Dave> I'm betting on a grand total of six.

#743532 +(1867)- [X]

<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear
<raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.

#765978 +(510)- [X]

<Alwayz> linux is like the inlaw that shows up for christmas and no one knows why he's there, but he cooks amazing food
<Cyriana> and molests your children

0.0680 21090 quotes approved; 912 quotes pending
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