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#218 +(540)- [X]

<CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade...

#328 +(523)- [X]

<Helpful-> [Akashra] I have a dream: 2199023255552 bytes free.

#893 +(67)- [X]

<Keiichi> It takes brains to grow weed

#931 +(278)- [X]

<Inoshiro> If I had a reason to be gay, besides Torvalds, it'd be me

#1059 +(1007)- [X]

<blazemore> linux gives good blow jobs
<MadHatter> I thought your moms name was nancy?

#3134 +(1352)- [X]

<friedegg>          _.---._    /\
<friedegg>       ./'       "--`//
<friedegg>     ./              o
<friedegg>   ././  )______   __
<friedegg> ./   / /     | |   7
<friedegg>       "     "    "  "
<friedegg>          _.---._    /\
<friedegg>       ./'       "--`//
<friedegg>     ./              o
<friedegg>   ././  )______   __
<friedegg> ./   / /     | |   7
<friedegg>       "     "    "  "
<b|ubeard> eek
<friedegg> shhh
<friedegg> i'm observing wildlife

#5078 +(242)- [X]

<joey``> ryan...what are you doing for new year's
<ryano> going on dalnet

#7817 +(64)- [X]

<Musashi> wait what the heck this isnt pong, it's two PMSing stick figures screwin around

#8612 +(114)- [X]

<zealot_> gopher is the protocol of the future

#8875 +(286)- [X]

<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?

#10943 +(321)- [X]

barry: 41 pix til my cam rolls over
barry: woo
Eoghann: how many til it plays dead?
Zaren: </rimshot>

#11087 +(14)- [X]

<Raize> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?top
<Raize> I got quoted in the top 50 IRC quotes of all time
<jaguar> !quote
<jaguar> !add quote
<jaguar> how do u add!

#14781 +(250)- [X]

<throwback> you mean to say that someone overreacted on irc?
<throwback> when the fuck does that happen?

#18162 +(96)- [X]

Wangtangs2 <AUTO-REPLY> :  taking a dump ;) >:o PUSH!!!
PRoGRaMMeRQ: I'm taking a screenshot of that and pasting that on my front website

#20274 +(349)- [X]

<Speedlock> i like to think of sara as my sister
<Graeme> i like to think of sara riding my cock like a sex starved nymphette
<Speedlock> actually, i like to think of sara as a kissing cousin
<Speedlock> or perhaps a sexy auntie
<martin> you'll end up thinking of her as someone you cant go within 200 yards of at this rate :p

#21292 +(183)- [X]

<RatBreath> almost half a terabyte of copyrighted material... amazing. you are a god
<Rzrshrp60> well most of it is vids of isajeeps mom on the strip
<Efflixi> lol
<Rzrshrp60> ...high quality
<isajeep> wtf

#21918 +(627)- [X]

<Funk> I think the puppet on the left supports my views. No, I think the puppet on the right supports my views the best. Hey, they're both held by the same man! GO BACK TO SLEEP AMERICA, YOUR GOVERNMENT IS IN CONTROL
<Funk> Trust me, you Americans are revolting enough

#22202 +(2611)- [X]

The_Fur: where do i fail again?
BadMojo: First off, you're the product of a failed abortion. Then your mother failed to drown you properly, only enhancing your retardation. Then you failed to develop inter-personal skills, a sense of a humour, and functioning testicles. After that, you completely failed to "have sex" or what I like to call "fucking." After which, you failed to enhance your brain to a proper level.
BadMojo: Then, you failed to make sensible arguements, failed to make funny statements, failed to win, and invariably you will try to shoot yourself in the skull and fail at that too, whereupon you will accidentally shoot two house cats and a small schoolgirl.
BadMojo: Then you will fail to make a logical case in court, where you will fail to be found innocent, and you will go to prison, where the only thing you will succeed at is being jail raped and then murdered by a fatman
BadMojo: Okay, let me rephrase: you will fail to properly protect your anus from a fatman in prison, and you will fail to have a knife-proof head, directly resulting in your subsequent failure to live
BadMojo: whereupon your organs will be donated to science, where your heart will fail, killing a small child, your lungs will fail, killing an elderly man, your liver will fail, killing a recovering alcoholic, and your kidneys will fail, making somebody pee everywhere

#23596 +(89)- [X]

<OutBreak^Monkey> just use my excuse, men built dishwashers so they didnt have to do the dishes.
<OutBreak^Monkey> women should learn from mens wisdom
<OutBreak^Monkey> buy the man a fucking dishwasher or do em yourself
<JT> heh
<^yob> hehe
<`2L_CodeMonkey> no, men built dishwasers cause the divorce rate increased and there wasn't wives to do the dishes for everyone

#32550 +(46)- [X]

* tall-sew is a dog person
<eatenn> no, you're a fat fucking person

#33574 +(265)- [X]

:St0nerChild: One time I was getting rode and she peed on me
:St0nerChild: She didnt mean to though, she didnt even know it tell i told her, she was in the middle of cumming
:St0nerChild: That was when i lost my virginity
:CK_Jeans: you lost your virginity to a girl who pissed on you?

#33678 +(106)- [X]

<+Link-> <skitzm> i have a serious prob with my quake 3 please helP!
<+Link-> why do people instintively pm me for help on q3?
<+Link-> i have a serious problem with my q3 as well
<+Link-> it sucks.

#34688 +(246)- [X]

<@sumppi> "A consultant is a man who knows 99 ways to make love but doesn't know any women"

#37139 +(120)- [X]

<Bandit-> you guys are idiots >_< - what i said is true
<Bandit-> the difference in modems now is negligable
<Arcuivie> negligable? is that even a word?
<Bandit-> actually yes

#40508 +(1930)- [X]

* rabid_si is going AFK.
* rabid_si is now known as rabid_si[AFK]
<DopeHat> Rabid is going to anally fist Kao.
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now DopeHat.
* because_he_is_busy_wanking has joined #infinity
<because_he_is_busy_wanking> Rabid
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now because_he_is_busy_wanking.

#52462 +(481)- [X]

<Cloe> be quiet or i'll beat you like a rented mule
<Crowley> you abuse your rented pack animals?
<Cloe> yes, i do
<Cloe> now carry my stuff up the trail
<Crowley> suck my huge donkey dick

#59685 +(253)- [X]

<Viper550esp> heh hell, you have no idea what hell is! Try standing inbetween two large fat women at a manson concert who decided just to wear the bare minimum to get it in concert.    Oh thats nothing, they decided that it would be fun to start a mash pit. I kid you not those two women took out 7 people with one massive shove
<Jaytda4th> omg that is hell! A manson concert.. im so sorry.

#63049 +(233)- [X]

* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the wind
<moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over
<moktod> brb
* moktod hides under desk

#65876 +(1089)- [X]

<worldie> I just blew my load
<W13> ugh I cant believe I ate the whole thing. 8(
<miner> ......
<W13> oh crap that didnt come out right
<W13> I just ate a whole 12 inch pizza
<Marc> Surrrre ya did.

#74579 +(110)- [X]

<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail# man how to get laid
<mindfuck> No manual entry for how
<mindfuck> No manual entry for to
<mindfuck> No manual entry for get
<mindfuck> No manual entry for laid
<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail#
<mindfuck> <|:]
<Nikita> sucks
<Nikita> see if there is an RFC for that
<Nikita> maybe a mini HOW-TO or something...

#80601 +(290)- [X]

<jimmiejaz> I just tried to use my mouse to copy a URL off the t.v. :(

#81264 +(260)- [X]

<classic07> Is it hard to turn gay ?
<classic07> Girls are just to confusing to me right now.

#86371 +(848)- [X]

<Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here
<Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing
<Afbc0m> my mom was pissed
<Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please, get down on yo knees"

#105202 +(190)- [X]

<JOCK> i want to go to Six Fags
<JOCK> Flags>>>>>>.....sorry
<KID_B> You wanna go do Six Fags?
* KID_B steps back
<KID_B> word up man.. do your thing..
<JOCK> nawww man
<JOCK> you know rides,lonnytoons,and stuff
<KID_B> Yeah. Gay bars.

#139598 +(223)- [X]

<whifflebat2000> Holy crap... this is incredible. Never played this level. Great atmosphere.
<Seppel> Whiff: Finally make it to level 3 on Super Mario Brothers?

#162152 +(184)- [X]

<Barracuda_Sanchez> i have a pubic hair on my moniter
<Barracuda_Sanchez> i thought it was a comma

#202293 +(883)- [X]

<pengo> parents coming tomorrow.. empty trash, hide bong, wear clothes

#269275 +(505)- [X]

<CoryS> You know it's a bad sign when you call ISP support to change some dns servers around and they ask if the ip address you just gave them was a phone number or IP address.

#310380 +(324)- [X]

<Rapala> i'm not sure if i'm supposed to go to work tonight
<Rapala> so i'm gonna sit here and see if they call
<DrunkOM> sounds like a plan
<Rapala> there are 2 others doing it as well, and the best way to be wrong is to be wrong in a group
<HFM> the best way to be wrong is to find out it's really not your kid..

#315517 +(762)- [X]

<tHEMiDENS> ok, anyone got their list sent to fbi ?
<fyre> i have the fbi with me now
<fyre> we're watching shrek 2

#343805 +(1809)- [X]

<Elbonio> You know how women say "I wouldnt sleep with you even if you were the last man on earth" ? Well if you WERE the last two people on the earth, i hardly think sex is the first thing on your mind... it's clearly going to be "let's raid Toys'R'us.."

#361677 +(830)- [X]

<morphine_monkey> dude, my hair is getting so long
<spaceman_spiff> sweet, pretty soon it'll get as long as your penis
<morphine_monkey> STFU, my hair is longer than an inch

#393641 +(409)- [X]

isotec: so my dad decides to be nice and put a chocolate on top of my LCD monitor (its one of thoes ones with booze in it
isotec: so i come by l8r and im like cool
isotec: i pick it up as as i do so it starts to drip on the top of the monitor and some booze leaks out
isotec: im thinking well that was totaly smart dad now i have whisky or somthing and chocolate oozing around up there
isotec: but im like hey cant let that chocolate go to waste
isotec: i start to lick up the tasty mess and when im in mid lick my dad walks in and is like "Jesus son, i know you many like your computer but this is just rediculous!"

#430975 +(625)- [X]

<@shiwan> Hmm. I need to find a "Windows NT Server 4.0 System Administrator" t-shirt to wear around to BDSM clubs.
<@shiwan> "So, what are you into?" "I admin a 3-tiered, 12-node NT4 cluster."
< XyZzY> shiwan: "oh youre in the 'sick fuck' territory"

#445469 +(317)- [X]

NipokNek: I can tell it's christmas time cause my p2p programs are serving more xmas music and less porn. :D

#590557 +(1418)- [X]

<Fotomat> hey all...
<rife> brian, shouldn't you be in school?
<rife> it's wednesday
<Fotomat> i got suspended
<rife> how come?
<Fotomat> well i wore my history channel sweatshirt
<rife> uh huh
<Fotomat> the one that says "THC" on the front for "the history channel"
<Fotomat> so they suspended me for "drug paraphernalia" :/
<rife> ...
<rife> dumbass

#655859 +(697)- [X]

<@pinata> i am going to be patenting my new method of internet access.
<@pinata> it will be 6 times as fast...
<@pinata> but drop 90% of all of your connections.
<@pinata> i will call it ADHDSL

#662537 +(-153)- [X]

<HellDragon> hey a 50m water resistant watch is big enough to see the time ?

#665552 +(901)- [X]

<pete_> Dude, if I ever become an emt
<pete_> I'm so driving the ambulance to a funeral home,
<pete_> Walk in and just be like, "Hey, sorry if I'm late..."

#884329 +(1936)- [X]

<+FHC_> why is it guns are legal in america but a school shooter will miss most of his targets, but guns illegal in germany and the fuckers hit everything they aim at
<@Sauce> american kids know how to strafe

0.0313 20945 quotes approved; 4515 quotes pending
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