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#73 +(2688)- [X]

<ooze> take a hot swedish chick from behind, bend over to her ear. and whisper "i have aids", then try to keep your penis inside of her.
<ooze> thats swedish rodeo.

#391 +(425)- [X]

<Zer0sKewl> Haha, I just nuked someone for my first time, Am I elite now?

#2109 +(394)- [X]

<aNuBiS-> i like my women like i like my roads... flat and well traveled

#3561 +(340)- [X]

<mightyflo> they need to make a car washing sim
<nitrifik_> I'd play it.
<FE2work> what r u a spic ?
<blazemore> haha
<blazemore> would you like to buy a vowel?
<blazemore> or even a whole word

#4799 +(844)- [X]

<BadM0f0> Hello, this is a Polish virus. Since we do not have the technology to create a real virus, please delete all files on your home directory.

#6243 +(369)- [X]

<`Brianne> stop it...youre making me feel all warm inside...
<`Brianne> oops wrong channel

#6942 +(98)- [X]

<Dominitus> I meant what i said, you need a diagram giving you the proper strategy
<Mr_Fish> ON HOW TO MASTURBATE/
<Mr_Fish> ...
<[SA]mr_box> yes
<[SA]mr_box> lol
<Mr_Fish> i've already looked for instructions on the net.

#7110 +(269)- [X]

<@Spider124> Gay ass homo, as opposed to "Hetero Ass homo"

#7125 +(204)- [X]

<Dracleath> Dual wielding great swords with monkey grip
<Staberinde> I have a monkeygrip
<Staberinde> they won't let me use it in public though

#7427 +(724)- [X]

<xetlain> 376 lines of code so far I think
<xetlain> and that took me like 3 hours, lots of yelling, two packets of cigs, 4 liters of coke, and three wanks to get done.

#7925 +(175)- [X]

<DarkWarrior> I know... I'm Mainly reffering to t3ch. I have nothing against him but i'm just saying thats what gives us *nix people a bad reputations
<t3ch> I dont try and do anything, If i'm going to spend the time doing it i'll do it right.
<t3ch> and two we alwasy had a bad rep. FreeBSD was created by a bunch of college kids on LSD. i dont think you can have a worse rep.

#7940 +(187)- [X]

<videogamenerd> a real hacker not a "$kr!p7!3"
<kt> videogamenerd: your geek is showing

#8598 +(15)- [X]

<[T]ANGo> I fear that Tech Knight would not pass through a metal detector unnoticed.
<Crashie_> and he has no hobbies :)
<Filly-O-F> apart from masturbating furiously into fistfuls of his own feces

#8873 +(214)- [X]

* Crimson has joined #arsclan
<stargurl> hello
<Sinned> hello
<Crimson> hello
<Griz> hello.jpg

#10021 +(311)- [X]

<matts> I was on vacation and I saw this casino advertisement  on the highway: "LOOSEST $1 SLOTS" and they had a picture of a woman on it and then I realized that this casino ad could be taken the wrong way :P

#20782 +(164)- [X]

<Shastao> ...which is more disturbing, the fact we calculated a weird, weird way to go impossible distances in virtually no time, or the fact you can become a minister online? :P

#21282 +(453)- [X]

<ChugChug> so like... uhh.. what language do you use?
<LaC> english
<ChugChug> is that like perl? :)
<LaC> god i hope not

#26586 +(571)- [X]

Kid1: What are you, illiterate?
Teacher: Hey, we dont talk about illiterate people.
Kid2: Yea, we write about them.

#34035 +(291)- [X]

<CYwolf> damnit.
<CYwolf> I forgot to ask malis how big the fed-ex guy's package was.

#38063 +(317)- [X]

<+TheKid> Quake is just IRC with rocket launchers.

#42388 +(30)- [X]

<ZeroHour> that NYLUG looked decent
<ZeroHour> if we did a Mississippi LUG
<ZeroHour> it would be a buncha grungy ass rednecks
<ZeroHour> with ghetoo laptops and paintless rides
<ZeroHour> rides where the paint peeled off
<ZeroHour> rides with different colors on each panel of the body of the vehicle

#44620 +(226)- [X]

--> heha (cyber@????????.ipt.aol.com) has joined #linux
--- YeahBabY sets ban on *!*@*.aol.???
<-- Crikey has kicked heha from #linux (banned: Too many problems with AOL.  Use another ISP.  Permban)
<thinko> nice ban, covers those pesky aol.mil ppl too

#47228 +(288)- [X]

*** Now talking in #math
<Jahidi> One time nnitro sent me a picture of himself wearing nothing but a calculator.

#47848 +(487)- [X]

·protanos· Having sex is like being level 1. Sure, it's exciting playing a
new class, but it doesn't really get fun until you _know_ how to play the
character.
·Siv· protanos, that is possibly the geekiest analogy i've ever had
the displeasure of hearing

#48825 +(315)- [X]

<Floach-> I guess DDoS is like a network bukkake? :)

#81243 +(45)- [X]

<norml> "U.S. and British aircraft earlier Wednesday pounded targets in Iraq's southern no-fly zone and dropped leaflets telling Iraqi soldiers how to surrender"
<norml> lol
<norml> how to surrender, they should have hired the french for that
<pfloyd> rofl!

#81829 +(155)- [X]

h4zin: Auuuuuuuuuugh
h4zin: i got fucking dumped. already.
h4zin: at least her T1 was firewalled, so its not like i could have gotten anything out of her anyway

#86104 +(640)- [X]

<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now
<Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the other half of the channel
<Petter[web]> I resent that.
<Queued> I understand.

#98080 +(108)- [X]

Scarface8393: i was just looking at the bottle of cooking oil because im making spaghetti and i was wondering. what is extra virgin? is that like never ever gonna get laid?

#100322 +(815)- [X]

<Gareth> HOW DO I DOWNLOAD GAMES!!!
<TK421-> WHOA LIKE I CAN TELL YOU HOW YO!
<TK421-> Go to download.com and download a few game demos, depending on which ones you download they will combine to make different versions of MECHADEMO! *sings power rangers theme song*
<Gareth> DUDE FUCK YOU

#101283 +(515)- [X]

<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you had cousins as hot as mine."

#141798 +(542)- [X]

(Serial) where can i buy speakers online
(@NJD) www.speakersonline.com
(Serial) australian
(@NJD) www.speakersonline.com.au

#153638 +(928)- [X]

<Ironfrost> IRC does something to people
<Ironfrost> if Steven Hawkings went onto IRC he would be talking about porn within 10 minutes

#165227 +(265)- [X]

<+perl> nerve trauma to the arm is nice
<+sm4k[X-D]> sounds like it
<+perl> im just happy i can still use my hand
<+[TC]Quicksilver> Yeah, I bet your penis is too

#200729 +(115)- [X]

<efm> I'm sorry tbc, but I'm not interested in arguing with you. I prefer to argue with people who have some understanding of the way arguments are conducted.
<tbc> Ouch.
<tbc> And only a few days after jafo stabbed me in the face over the Internet. :-)
<efm> that was rude of him.
<jafo> It was a FRIENDLY stab in the face over the Internet.

#262353 +(13964)- [X]

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

#282982 +(-62)- [X]

#slackware on efnet 4-22-04 12:57 am EST -5.00
<mfbian_> how will you compare slackware and freebsd
<Cheethoe> apples and oranges
<mfbian_> fair enough
<`justin`> slackware = for people that have been molested freebsd = people that want to molest their mothers
<`justin`> openbsd = for people that probably wont ever get molested
<`justin`> netbsd = molesting of all minorities, and cock asians
<mfbian_> how about gentoo
<`justin`> I dont know ask khai
--> biggy (something@1Cust26.tnt1.columbus.in.da.uu.net) has joined #slackware
<`justin`> oh wait I do know
<mfbian_> you don't know anything
--> supergoad (~supergoad@pcp08611785pcs.waldrf01.md.comcast.net) has joined #slackware
<`justin`> mfbian_: gentoo = people that want to molest their mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers, dogs, but can't get it up

#285255 +(1691)- [X]

sup4hleet: eh, she's cute and has a rack you could mount a server in

#349445 +(436)- [X]

<jimmiejaz> Doctors in Singapore say the virus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is present in the tears of patients with the disease.
<syberghost> Cry me a fever.

#374708 +(519)- [X]

<Tweeder> No, I love my Mac. It's aweseom!
<Tweeder> It's everything I want in a computer
<Tweeder> ...but I haven't been able to find any good IRC progs for OSX
<quade> how the fuck are you on irc then?
<Tweeder> I'm using my boyfriend's PC

#432558 +(890)- [X]

<@HEMI> I'm tempted to start going to work in ripped jeans/shirts and tell them that's all I can afford on what they're paying me.

#447596 +(746)- [X]

<@topsoil> The College Jeopardy winner wagered $1,337 in Final Jeopardy... seems more like the geek hero to me :)
<@topsoil> I was hoping he'd come back and lose and then Alex would be like, "Sorry to say this...but you wagered $1337 and lost, which now means, *holds up sign* 'j00 4r3 n0t 1337.'"
<@topsoil> Either that or Alex would just look at him and say, "pwn3d".

#481870 +(1088)- [X]

lonemalika: The story of how my kitty got her name is funyn
lonemalika: funny*
lonemalika: Back when I lived in Georgia, I was on AOL in a chatroom(yeah, LONG time ago xd)
lonemalika: me and my chatter friends were going spastic over stuff
lonemalika: then my sister goes outside, comes back with a paper lunch bag with two little kittens in it.
lonemalika: Not even 2 weeks old
Trevor: You stole someone's lunch?
Trevor: That's mean.

#596241 +(1484)- [X]

<Yaksha> I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas.
<Yaksha> He said he wanted cold hard cash.
<Yaksha> So that's exactly what I gave him.
<Yaksha> I got 20 $1 bills, soaked them in water and put them in the freezer.
<Yaksha> When he got it, it was just a block of green ice that took a day to thaw.

#628447 +(2055)- [X]

Newzfoxjr: Holy shit dude
Newzfoxjr: my friend ding dong door bell ditched a house across the street
Newzfoxjr: he ran to a bush and hid, the guy answered and he was dressed up in a freaking S&M suit
Newzfoxjr: so my friend comes out of the bush, looks at him, AND GOES INTO HIS FREAKING HOUSE.
Newzfoxjr: it's been like 2 hours

#631921 +(533)- [X]

Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her.
Tanith: she fucking turned around and saw me staring
Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(

#703157 +(48)- [X]

<BeaVer> why does my wife have to work nights
<BeaVer> :/
<broken> because the milkman's wife works days
<BeaVer> true
<BeaVer> but all the strippers work at night as well
<broken> hence the balance in the universe

#707742 +(1713)- [X]

<nerd> my wife installed IE7
<nerd> because she felt like it
<ct> where did you bury the body?

#744013 +(1091)- [X]

<kidd79> do u know what i'd like they add to Google.Earth?
<Don_Vito> ..3D graphics?
<Don_Vito> animated water, trees and stuuf??
<kidd79> orbital ion cannon

#789388 +(1504)- [X]

<Duskmon> It must have blown to be one of the first outsiders to convert to Christianity.
<Duskmon> Like, you're reading through the Bible for the first time, and then a bunch of Hebrews burst into your Church shouting "CAIN KILLS ABEL IN GENESIS FOUR VERSE EIGHT!"

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