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#3338 +(60)- [X]

*** [SNiPeR] (invisible@pD951E3E2.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #efnet
<[SNiPeR]> got a problem...i wanna register a chan but chanserv doesn´t work

#4706 +(220)- [X]

<winmutt> lol
<winmutt> my neighbor's name is jeff toke
<winmutt> and hes getting married tomorrow
<winmutt> 4/20
<winmutt> LOL
<winmutt> i just realized this

#6115 +(225)- [X]

<cheech> Ugh! Parents, who needs them?
<guailo> retards.

#7273 +(547)- [X]

( CraNDaWG  ) i just watched like 6 ddr videos and i must say
( CraNDaWG  ) that is the _gayest_ bullshit i have ever seen
( Lev       ) you know, real men who rustle cows and weld stuff prolly think us playing computer games and giggling at each others gayness on irc is the _gayest_ bullshit

#7960 +(1167)- [X]

<Agent_grey> Scanner works! scanner wooooorrrkss!!
<artforz> how did you make it work?
<Agent_grey> its very very technical and scientific, involving the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its structural integrity
<Agent_grey> i whacked it really really hard

#8283 +(447)- [X]

<Silent|Study> These Christian rock ads on tv are so pathetic
<Silent|Study> Its like they assume people are going to suddenly think "OMG! JESUS! I never knew!

#8477 +(27)- [X]

<helminthes> was the party cool?
<helminthes> like did you fuck any hoes
<rafeil> heh, no hoes
<helminthes> not even one? i mean at least one right
<rafeil> i just drank a little and talked
<helminthes> fucked her right in the face right
<rafeil> yeah
<helminthes> she was gagging out all your children just like a bitch

#11148 +(449)- [X]

Meredy31: Hackers is just the coolest movie :)
Rann XXV: Indeed. n.n But only if you're not an actual hacker. But that's okay, because those people deserve to be annoyed. ^^
Rann XXV: A little payback for every system crash and virus-eaten file is in each hacker's scream of "DAMMIT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

#12939 +(958)- [X]

<fm> i've had three girls today IM me and tell me that they like me.
<fm> then they said april fools and signed off.

#15647 +(457)- [X]

<CaMR0N> why does everyone call me cumron?
<drunkers> probably and honest mistake
<CaMR0N> but everyone?
<drunkers> did you tell them you were gay?
<CaMR0N> yes cause im honest with everyone
<drunkers> maybe its not an honest mistake

#15680 +(168)- [X]

<PetrDoubt> Geez, I'm going to have to set up a procmail filter to deal with
  employee farewell notices.

#16760 +(916)- [X]

<theTrick> Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties

#21048 +(48)- [X]

<Oz> if you move to newcastle that will allow you to live like a king
<Oz> because you can just nick a house, furniture, etc
<Oz> and then treat yourself to a e-coli mcsalmonella meal

#21354 +(1715)- [X]

<Beerman> I demand random linkage! link me to strange things, and entertain me
<tate> http://www.goatse.cx/
<ecs> i was just gunna say that...
<Beerman> my word, whats wrong with that mans bottom?

#22534 +(575)- [X]

<Sugadon> sup
<Sugadon> i'm in houston
<GaBe-33> houston !?
<GaBe-33> what you doing in texas !?
<Sugadon> honeymoon
<drunkers> you came on mirc on your honeymoon?
<drunkers> the sex that bad?

#22873 +(452)- [X]

<fireserve> !is the cumulitve mutiplication thing
<Benoit> ! is lots of things
<fireserve> like 6! = 6x5x4x3x2x1
<Wolfman_Dain> ! is the programming term for "not"
<Benoit> ! at the end of a sentence can also mean exclamation... or so I've been told
<fireserve> and if you flip it upside down and put one at the front, its spanish
<Benoit> !, is there anything it cant do?

#24963 +(333)- [X]

<PolestaR> Swish I dont have your skill where you just say *smiles* online and the girl is yours
<Swish> rofl
<PolestaR> I have to like, talk for like 5000 chars before I even get the phone number
<PolestaR> which is fake

#26307 +(456)- [X]

<Syntax_Crash> I just got a 40x burner to replace my old 8x
<Syntax_Crash> my piracy productivity just went up by 500%

#38500 +(201)- [X]

<LunchBox> i'm not all that intoxicating
<LunchBox> er, intoxicated. i think i just disproved my point.... :(

#39826 +(116)- [X]

<jeyjeydiggy> hey im writing a paper about madonna and i need someone thats gay to help me out, melee can you help me?
<melee> you sure thats not an autobiography?

#40143 +(16)- [X]

<pricky> is there a way to auto-op users in mirc?
<pricky> score
<pricky> wildcards work!

#40520 +(615)- [X]

<Nate> i have a big problem suddenly
<Nate> i just went to scratch myself
<Nate> had superglue on my hand and didn't realize it
<Nate> my left hand is now superglued somewhere very bad
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Remember, twisting motions will overstress the glue, hopefully before it overstresses you.
Weirdo_God_of_Insanity is suddenly GLAD he cannot see Nate right now.
<Nate> .......
<Nate> oh god
<Nate> that hurt..
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> dammit
<Nate> my fingers now glued to the c key
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Well, that's gotta be an improvement, really.

#44724 +(141)- [X]

<dr_qous> it's nice when people call me 'hon'
<kmcwork> hey 'hon', pass me the lube

#46643 +(116)- [X]

<Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
<cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
<l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
<cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
<TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
<l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
<TxcPoison> wow
<l0g1c> just warm the important part up.

#47227 +(494)- [X]

Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb

#47532 +(298)- [X]

<@kmad> //say $calc(Sersans IQ)
<@Sersan_43> 0
<@Sersan_43> wtf

#49894 +(201)- [X]

<sean> though south keys is disgustingly expensive, it's right beside an O-Train station and has a bulk barn next door
<xmatt> O-Train sounds like some weird sexual innuendo.
<adam> it's all in your head, matt.
<xmatt> "I might take her for a ride on the O-Train. Oooh, oooh! Yeah, you know what I mean."

#52857 +(150)- [X]

<@Shadur> MeLearnin: Go away and die.
* MeLearnin :(
<@Shadur> s/MeLearnin/Meaz
< MeLearnin> s/:(/:)/g

#53179 +(1909)- [X]

<@TheRef>My girlfriend caught me sleep-wanking last night
<hoochy>lol, typo. i'm a post that to bash
<@TheRef>Dude, that wasn't a typo.

#53776 +(375)- [X]

[spork`] bukakke is the most intimate act that 2-50 people can perform

#53859 +(293)- [X]

i am RAWK: you know, I don't think I ever really realized how much boys jack off before I started reading bash.org
i am RAWK: i mean, I kinna figured it was a frequent thing, but it seems astronomical now
QuakeZop: haha, I've done it fifteen times since you left here

#56222 +(341)- [X]

<Tomalak> Pregnancy from rape is extremely rare.
<DarkYouth> But here you are, eh Tomalak?
<Tomalak> I wouldn't say what your dad did to your mom was strictly consensual, DY. If a sheep runs away, it doesn't mean "keep on going".

#70314 +(314)- [X]

<Mbwana> When i was 10 I was on a ferry and it was very windy out, so I decided to take an entire roll of toilet paper and see if I could let it all out into the wind and see if I could unroll the whole thing before it touched the water.
<Mbwana> It was quite amusing.
<Rialian> well? did you?
<Mbwana> Yes
<Rialian> hehehehe
<Mbwana> It looked very neat
<Qaulorn> you're easily amused too?
<Sealom> How far did it get before it hit the water?
<Mbwana> Of course I am, why do you think I'm on this channel?
<Qaulorn> how did it not tear? did you get the super absorbant quilted kind?
<Qaulorn> do you get the runs? share with us, we are here to help you
<Mbwana> Once I had the entire roll unraveled. I would estimate that it flew in the wind for about 1 1/2 minutes or so
<Qaulorn> was it patterned? or plain white?
<Mbwana> It plain
<Mbwana> Uh
<Mbwana> Minus the it
<Mbwana> People were awestruck at my amazing feat. People even videotaped it and took pictures of it.
<Sealom> I accuse you of lying.

#70545 +(133)- [X]

<freek> hey man, when i go to buy condoms, i'll be standing tall.  "TONIGHT.. I AM GETTING SOME."

#106319 +(391)- [X]

<wik|sys> if i was a girl. i'd be the sluttiest lesbian ever. and i'd fuck all the dorky nerdy guys who don't get any. just 'cause.

#107079 +(1004)- [X]

Video games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music. - Kristian Wilson, CEO at Nintendo Gaming Corporation Inc.

#107395 +(18)- [X]

<McBigMac> WHO STOLE MAH LIGHTER ?!
<MysteryIslands> _o/
<MysteryIslands> gotta take smoke now :D
<McBigMac> Life needs a fukkin Search Function!
<McBigMac> Search: Find Lighter

#113152 +(173)- [X]

<Acidfreek> Last time I was pimped I ended up being banned from Sea World and I had Herpes

#119869 +(360)- [X]

<Kilroy> gods, I'm dating myself again
<MPG> at least you only have to get one person drunk to have sex.

#123859 +(836)- [X]

Whiskey: u know that chick that u said was stalking u or somethign like a while ago?
XAsHeSX: hmm
XAsHeSX: no
XAsHeSX: i forget
Whiskey: u sent me a naked picture of her
Whiskey: cuz she was sending them to u
XAsHeSX: oh yea
Whiskeyinmy: i saw her today at walmart lol
XAsHeSX: i was in walmart today :-/

#147015 +(278)- [X]

<Comanche> fuck off windows with your low dick space thing.
<Comanche> err. *disk :P
<Kim> LOL
<Comanche> typo :P
<xeon> lol, warning no dick found

#153226 +(647)- [X]

<Hidden_7> MOTHERFUCKING COMPUTER
<Hidden_7> it is an expensive piece of hardware
<Hidden_7> I've poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into this bitch
<Hidden_7> and it won't fucking give up the goods
<Hidden_7> so fucking like a chick it's not EVEN funny

#221849 +(126)- [X]

<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world

#246140 +(944)- [X]

<Tonitrus> My biological clock says 12:00 and blinks.

#393177 +(1146)- [X]

<Poinky> so, there is to be war between us...
<brett1479> war?
<p3nt4g0n> huh?
<Mororvia> good god ya'll
<p3nt4g0n> wha?

#635159 +(340)- [X]

<Choko> i know 101 ways to use a penis
<HamsterMan> cool
<HamsterMan> does it include writing with it and playing baseball
<Choko> okay... now i know 103 ways
<HamsterMan> XD

#677113 +(1216)- [X]

<scalar> ok, UPS guy came, now I can shower :P
<Keneto> famous phrases to remember not to take out of context?

#801439 +(564)- [X]

<baubles> found a site on making your own saline solution.. there are lots of typos and random letters. the guy apologizes, said he went blind

#905920 +(-502)- [X]

<+Djiem> There, I'm troll-baiting my whole MSN friendlist
<+Djiem> "Oh shit, know what's happening December 2012 ?!?!"
<+Djiem> And if anyone asks me what, I'll say "I turn 30"

#962365 +(387)- [X]

<+Skerper> I remember once in first year CS
<+Skerper> this guy asked me to tutor him
<+Skerper> was absolutely devastated that he'd gotten a 0 for his programming assignment
<+Skerper> so he shows it to me
<+Skerper> and he's literally written an essay on how to make the program
<nugyflex> what the fuck
<+Skerper> complete with stock images and references
<BlackMoon> hahah
<+Jattenalle> haha, aaw
<+Skerper> but no actual program
<nugyflex> ahahha
<+Jattenalle> poor innocent little child
<+Skerper> Never had such an "oh sweety" moment in my life
<nugyflex> how does that happen
<+Skerper> I have no fucking idea, it was the most awkward thing
<nugyflex> how can that possibly happen...
<+Skerper> I don't know how he got it into his head that that was the assignment
<+Skerper> considering it had to be handed up to an automarker
<+Skerper> that compiles it and tests output
<nugyflex> Oooo nooo
<nugyflex> tries to compile essay
<nugyflex> rip

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