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#378 +(558)- [X]

<bludstone> one of my fantasies is to be getting a blowjob while on irc :/

#2132 +(1210)- [X]

<DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
<Thom> Ach. Dang.
<DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
<puchiko> It is.
<DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.

#2471 +(271)- [X]

<dfd> can someone tell me how fast is a k-line?

#2812 +(316)- [X]

<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses

#3011 +(233)- [X]

<Viscant> cockblock (COK'blok) n. 1. to stop in the sexual escapading by another willfully and wantonly. 2. to deflect the cock "viscant was eyeing ricky ortiz lustily until arturo cockblocked him"

#3575 +(190)- [X]

<jstepka> perl is the kryptonite of the computer science world
<pagan> if stepka looks at it his penis shrivles up
<pagan> and he gets weak
<pagan> =)
<jstepka> hell yeah

#5515 +(287)- [X]

<DAL9000> vanilla coke tastes like ass
<mov> i'd like to taste it..

#5810 +(364)- [X]

<A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
<DarthJesus> I dunno'
<DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do anything for you
<A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.

#6789 +(327)- [X]

<astyanax>  /topic Yes, slashdot is down, please remain seated and oxygen masks will drop frmo the overhead compartment

#6834 +(284)- [X]

<angst> someone off campus was looking at my penis.
<angst> i think i spend too much time analyzing people's actions in my webserver's logs

#7600 +(653)- [X]

<OpsuPup> i just got some imaginary donuts, and they are fucking nice
<Xta-C> i just had imaginary sex, and it was disappointing
<bytraper> i just got some imaginary sex, and it was fucking nice
* Lord-Data thinks byt and xta just imaginarily slept together

#8771 +(336)- [X]

<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want

#8955 +(435)- [X]

<RyMon> You see the new heatsinks on thinkgeek?
<Crash> I have one right here... it's so cold against my skin, I could just put them all over myself and stay cool anywhere!
<RyMon> There's no sink that disipates stupid, man.

#9148 +(574)- [X]

<midi> if you find some poor idiot with his tongue stuck to the rail
<midi> with a train coming and decide that you really don't wanna see
<midi> him splat, a convenient source of warm mostly-clean saltwater
<midi> is indeed your bladder...
<midi> (or so said one of my scoutmasters...)
<Squeedle> midi: though they might just rip their tongue off trying to
<Squeedle> get away from a scoutmaster pulling his pants down at them
<midi> squee:  either way, he gets his tongue off the track.  and if
<midi> you're lucky, you get to piss in an idiot's face.
<midi> it's cathartic and good karma.  how cool is that?
<Squeedle> well hey, what more can you ask for
<hoche> o/~ hey baby, if you'll be my dog, i'll be your tree, and you
<hoche> can pee on me! o/~
<Squeedle> schadenfreude: A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of
<Squeedle> others
<midi> which is kinda neat.  you get a choice between letting natural
<midi> selection work or pissing in the idiot's face.  it's win-win.

#11164 +(235)- [X]

<Helm-work> *sigh* ..i dont know what gets into me sometimes.. I get this "hey, my password says it expires today and i need to change it" "what do i change it to"? .... im like "how about tea-bagger"? "thats a good one" .. the accountant is like "yeah! easy to remember too"

#11721 +(321)- [X]

<]AoV[Virus|OGC> anyone know an altanative to napster?
<TIK|wombat> Walmart
<]AoV[Virus|OGC> can ya dcc it?

#13461 +(431)- [X]

<Zok> who here has an ip address?
<Mortimer> me
<Zok> i didnt ask you

#14533 +(384)- [X]

<Vedic> Boiling cheese = DON'T EAT

#15519 +(303)- [X]

<ouija> He likes to hit on girls
<ouija> and then go like
<ouija> HAHA HA!!! I'm QUEER!

#18271 +(371)- [X]

<Shrapnull> It's not how the boat floats, or the size of the mast, but the motion of the ocean
<Aduro> lol
<Tiffy> haha
<cryptonix> just hope your seamen don't have scurvey :D

#22295 +(226)- [X]

<|Phreak|> Mind2: do you know of anything to benchmark/stresstest an ftpd?
<PsychoOne> phreak: make a post to slashdot telling them you have naked pictures of richard stallman
<Mind2> you don't want naked pics of stallman.
<Mind2> the nutbag of a nutbag is not recommended viewing.

#22366 +(404)- [X]

* ClusteR- is away [log: on]
<Icecream> What script are you using?
<ClusteR-> huh?
<ClusteR-> I don't use any script
<Icecream-> So did you just type /me is away [log: on] or what?
<ClusteR-> yeah...

#32547 +(372)- [X]

<OS|flu> aww poor canadian soldiers
<iZac> canadian soldiers? is it oxymoron night?
<enntee> you're here, so it's just moron night.

#33372 +(36)- [X]

<Indole> never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm actually missing pubes a bit.
<Phucker> It happens to the best of us.
<Phucker> ":("
<steelcap> lol

#45419 +(398)- [X]

<Spazz> I want to find a girl who is not afraid of dating a geek guy.
<Spazz> You know... one that says "Oh, I don't care if I can't bring him out in public...   he's got big junk!"
<StalkerofurSoul> "I dont care if hes ugly and has pimples, did you see that quake win loss ratio?"
<StalkerofurSoul> he's got the finest c++ ive ever set my eyes on
<StalkerofurSoul> omfg, and we was sitting there... and he pulled it out, and i asked if i could see it.... and he let me hold it....a wireless mouse! what will they think of next!

#49629 +(285)- [X]

<`3pX^Manitoba>  If you sleep with a guy, it doesnt necessarily mean you're gay right?--PM ME plz, I need to kno
<Jivedue> what's the setting? prison or at home?

#59104 +(-60)- [X]

<Squanky> I hope they gave me the right CPU because I paid $350 for it

#62185 +(129)- [X]

* Coyote` (HaHa@209.194.21.WyldRyde-43304) Quit (Quit: DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS)
<Apple> what's device=fngrcros.sys?
<netnomad> Oh buoy.
* Apple grins
<Apple> i'll look it up
<netnomad> You do that.

#72652 +(258)- [X]

<@slippy> Interests:  Computers: Cyberculture, Hobbies: Literature, Science:
          Physics, Space: Star-Trek
<@slippy> doesn't bode well for her dress size

#74601 +(227)- [X]

[20:21] <cooldaw13>  2nd Hint: 176*   30.0 secs & 12 Points Remaining
[20:22] <cooldaw13>  3rd Hint: 176*   15.0 secs & 6 Points Remaining
[20:22] <StealthStalker> 1760
<StealthStalker> 1761
<StealthStalker> 1762
<StealthStalker> i give up
<cooldaw13>  Times up!  The answer was ->  1763  <-
<StealthStalker> OMG

#76027 +(-172)- [X]

<cornflake> holy shit
<cornflake> i just found out my best friend is planning to kill himself
<cornflake> fuck this im out guys i will be back later

#76680 +(240)- [X]


#80734 +(498)- [X]

<Destruya> Women are like errors, they're usually annoying and tend to fuck with your life right when you don't want them to.
<Destruya> Now, *girlfriends* are like fucking hard drive crashes.  They happen unexpectedly, completely fuck your shit up, and empty your fucking wallet.
<Destruya> But unlike most hard drives, women don't come with warranties.
<Destruya> "This bitch isn't compatible with me.  I want a new one."
<Japhro> 'look, you can't speak that way about my daughter, get the fuck out!'

#82174 +(80)- [X]

<overandoutcaptn> it's all about searching ebay to get an estimate on the going rate for kidneys
<Poison_Idea> HAHAH ALEX
<Poison_Idea> alex sell your virginity on it
<Poison_Idea> please
<overandoutcaptn> nope
<overandoutcaptn> no kidneys on ebay
<Poison_Idea> fuck
<overandoutcaptn> just kidney beans
<overandoutcaptn> and kidney shaped bowls
<Poison_Idea> i dont need a kidney
<Poison_Idea> illl put it on
<overandoutcaptn> and other useless crap that doesn't tell me how much a kidney is going for
<overandoutcaptn> i don't want to sell my virginity on ebay
<overandoutcaptn> some fat ugly mediterainian woman will prolly buy it
<Poison_Idea> haha nah my mum isnt mediterrian yo
<overandoutcaptn> although if an american or european buys it then they'd have to pay for postage and handling and i demand first class all the way

#83947 +(214)- [X]

<Horror> knock knock
<Dooper> who's there?
<Horror> Go fuck yourself
<Dooper> go fuck yourself who?

#105208 +(18)- [X]

<BobTheMilkman> eating eggs is liking giving a bird an abortion followed by eating the aborted fetus

#111648 +(95)- [X]

(@DarkJedi) i hate when people IM you for no reason
(@DarkJedi) i hate talking about nothing
(+chumpman) unless they are hot girls
(+chumpman) then it's like
(+chumpman) keep talking bitch, and maybe I can get inside your pants

#165227 +(265)- [X]

<+perl> nerve trauma to the arm is nice
<+sm4k[X-D]> sounds like it
<+perl> im just happy i can still use my hand
<+[TC]Quicksilver> Yeah, I bet your penis is too

#209228 +(474)- [X]

<Lannen> (>^_(>O.o)>
<Lannen> GAY KIRBY!

#246589 +(522)- [X]

<BuruusuEXE> I have no bacon.
<Andoryuu> Well...
<Andoryuu> I KICK YOU

#371444 +(2304)- [X]

<Christina> *kisses back* I love you
<Josh> I love you too babe
<Christina> I take off your pants, sliding my hands up your thighs, watching your cock get hard.
<Christina> That's what he said to me
<Christina> I was like "Wtf dude? One, I'm a chick and two what the hell?"
<Christina> And he was like "Oh shit, wrong conversation"
<Josh> ...
<Christina> Oh shit, wrong conversation

#600242 +(636)- [X]

<mango> hey your friends are waiting for you down that hallway...
<gremlin> theres nobody there!
<mango> thats right.. you have no friends

#657269 +(383)- [X]

<okin^2> hi
<okin^2> how can I retrieve my password?
<@shasta> refresh your memory
<@shasta> :)

#664268 +(-130)- [X]

<kaleido> Instead of distributing condoms in gay bars and at productions of the play "Rent," where they might have done some good, Koop insisted on distributing condoms in kindergarten classes, in prder to emphasize the point that AIDS does not discriminate, which it does.
<kaleido> i got suspended in 7th grade over some shit like that
<kaleido> <teacher> straight people can get aids too
<kaleido> <me> name one
<kaleido> they had me on the curb out front waiting for my mom to pick me up so fast i wasnt sure if id been expelled or just suspended

#664484 +(1909)- [X]

<@Ustas> Sigh. Got to go buy some food. A mouse hung itself in my fridge and left a note "can't live like this"

#682409 +(2766)- [X]

<Ranbert> someone shoot me please....
<tele>   o                              \O_ Arrgh!!
<tele>  <\==-   -   - -   -  -  - --- __/
<tele>  / \                             \

#698233 +(1503)- [X]

Flared Oblivion: Do you play MS?
knucklehead800: MapleStory?
Flared Oblivion: Yes
knucklehead800: Never heard of it

#841151 +(55)- [X]

GreenWithEnvy89: what are you doing now
pardusorientalis: writing
GreenWithEnvy89: yay
GreenWithEnvy89: show me when you get stiff
GreenWithEnvy89: uhhh
GreenWithEnvy89: did i say that?
GreenWithEnvy89: stuff i meant
GreenWithEnvy89: stuff
pardusorientalis: XD
pardusorientalis: stiff
pardusorientalis: a stiffie

#925789 +(-20)- [X]

<@The_Happy_Chemical> Nigga I know you have, I could name some song that was created 10 minutes ago by a hobo bashing his face off a dumpster and you'd have heard it

#948693 +(607)- [X]

<mrfun> speaking of max, i boned a duck
<hamumu> are you sure you're speaking of max?
<mrfun> took most of yesterday to bone and do two anims, geez
<mrfun> but he's limping around in torque
<hamumu> this is sounding worse every sentence

0.0562 21065 quotes approved; 782 quotes pending
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