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#1677 +(578)- [X]

<jidan> he's so fat he prolly has to guess what fold the fucking piss is gonna spray out of

#1819 +(901)- [X]

<Sharkey> The rain in spain falls mainly on the spaniards.

#1852 +(539)- [X]

<maff> I prefer replacing the victims house with a giant microwave that looks exactly like their old house

#3075 +(351)- [X]

(Arwen`) spell check on the serch engin is so nice :)

#4068 +(254)- [X]

<K34R> im not one of these grey haired freaks who flies bitches from out of state then keeps them in a shed
<K34R> but i will be one day <3

#10262 +(573)- [X]

<MoonFog> Accept my send!!
<spark-> are you behind a firewall?
<MoonFog> Yes. but i can send
<spark-> Please consult your network administrator
<MoonFog> I am, and i know it works
<spark-> Please insult your network administrator

#10848 +(256)- [X]

<Art`> Howabout you hold your racquet like your cock?
<Saccy> You mean double-handed?

#11073 +(610)- [X]

<SpunOne> To The Taliban:
<SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to college.
<nersh> To the US:
<nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.

#11115 +(99)- [X]

<@brosie    > you know what sucks
<@brosie    > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie    > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie    > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie    > and you get gangrene
<@brosie    > in your nuts

#16664 +(32)- [X]

<Puck> Damnit, I'm tired.
<DeathCrow> You just woke up.
<Puck> I only had an hour nap!
<DeathCrow> No, I'm saying that's why you're tired.
<Puck> Well, that explains it.

#22228 +(596)- [X]

<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..

#22641 +(223)- [X]

<unknown> once I was wanking while playing doomII and someone snuck up behind me and shot me in the back with his shotgun and I almost tore off my helmet.. Folks I am telling you it's not fucking worth it!!!

#24901 +(150)- [X]

<Guest_0135966> Want FUN??? Come to the MjsIRC Chat Network... For High Speed Servers, Ready To Party, With Another Server To Come!, simply type /server mjs48.bsd.st or /server kevin.mjs48.bsd.st or /server steven.mjs48.bsd.st   .JOIN NOW!!!
* Guest_0135966 has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
<HunterSD> Want to FUCK OFF? Come to the Windows Desktop Party... For high speed fun, with another Alt+F4 to Come! Simply type /Quit, or /qUiT, or /QUIT... DO IT NOW!!!!

#31106 +(142)- [X]

<daniel-> i still own .sh .ac
<daniel-> i can make .sh hostnames
(elend) make a nocuervoisnotgay.sh
(elend) cuervo.gets.women.only.because.he.has.some.ca.sh
<cuervo> gonna.kick.elends.a.sh
(elend) thats.not.very.nic.sh
<cuervo> you.suck.at.thi.sh (
(elend) with.my.cool.li.sh 
(elend) no.sh.it.sh

#34856 +(171)- [X]

<Mek> my dad gets junkmail from all over the world
<Mek> hes had em from, belgium, france, austria, australia, Canada, America, Argentina, Russia and the Czech Republic
<Mek> and also Jamaica
<Paulio> its his mailorder bride catalogues
<Mek> you get them too??

#37415 +(88)- [X]

<melvin> figures
<melvin> I joined #geekissues on efnet (bash.org)
<melvin> it's just
<melvin> people trying to be witty

#37910 +(423)- [X]

<Mr_E> A) I gotfor about your B and B) I forgot about your A
<Mr_E> gotfor?!
<Mr_E> my brain is rebelling against me

#38064 +(107)- [X]

<pimpybra> Did you just get off on that?
<Valgar_> On Tuna?
<Valgar_> I like it, but not that much

#38926 +(116)- [X]

<Mike|sleep> Redwolf probibly has a record for # of people that setinfo him
<RedWolf> :/
<RedWolf> im soo popular
<Mike|sleep> nah. you just say stupid shit all the time.

#43611 +(299)- [X]

<Yukanojo> "Before departing for Japan, successful candidates receive written materials about the Programme along with a Japanese language text and tapes."
<Yukanojo> GOOD LORD
<Yukanojo> That's like dropping you into the middle of the vietnam war with a stick and a fork

#43801 +(32)- [X]

<_MADMAN> i went to my first AA meetings last night
<_MADMAN> i had a good time
<wasting> african american club?

#47595 +(307)- [X]

<Kyou|awaying> omfg i almost had a heart attack
<HKR|Paper> LOL
<HKR|Paper> Especially if it's a pr0n add, and your speakers are cranked and your parents are in the room next door
<Kyou|awaying> my speakers are always cranked =
<HKR|Paper> They suddenly hear "AH AH AH!"
<HKR|Paper> "WTF IS THAT?!" they yell
<HKR|Paper> Uh...my brothers rap cd's.

#56350 +(73)- [X]

<Siron> the bathroom is full and i gotta go..
<neural> well there is that bush
<neural> and that.. corner
<phyrearms> siron just point it spray it under the door

#56922 +(185)- [X]

<Nike> i went to see LoTR with the flu :P
<Nike> i was almost carried
<AardWolf> I tend to go with females... rather than sexless diseases

#59967 +(947)- [X]

<stormo> im watching the best movie atm..
<Aurian> why is it so good??
<stormo> any film where a clown fingerfucks a nun has got to be good
<Aurian> okay, i now consider myself lucky for not watching it
<Aurian> isn't it meant to be about ninjas???
<stormo> now they're having actual sex
<stormo> yeah
<stormo> the nun is a ninja in disguise
<Aurian> ahh
<Aurian> and who's the clown?
<stormo> another ninja
<stormo> look, i'm not watching this film for it's complex and involved plot

#69965 +(1324)- [X]

<Spike> Spam email title: "Did you get your dsjtlkasjt today?"
<Spike> Why no, no I did not.

#81927 +(551)- [X]

<[4]Ma909>    12R 14olling  12o 14n  12t 14he  12f 14loor  12L 14aughing  12L 14oud  12F 14alling  12D 14own  12T 14he  12S 14tairs  12I 14n  12T 14he  12K 14eller  12S 14tösst  12S 14ich  12T 14he  12S 14chädel  12O 14n  12T 14he  12F 14ußboden  12b 14richt  12s 14ich  12a 14lle  12b 14eine  12u 14nd  12d 14er  12k 14rankenwagen  12k 14ommt  12n 14et
<[4]Ma909> neeiiinnnnn!!!!!!!!
<[4]Ma909> fuck
* [4]Ma909 (_4_Ma909@p508741A9.dip0.t-ipconnect.de) Quit
<RurouniJones> What the bloody hell

#83634 +(180)- [X]

<Duo> I'm moving to Mars
<Duo> Where the only ISP is Marz
<Flash|slp|possum> and Earthlink (XD)

#85544 +(181)- [X]

<exe|Die> what is an awkward?
<jonsae> i hope you're joking
<jonsae> exe|Die
<exe|Die> i think it's a vegetable
<exe|Die> or fruit

#103534 +(-349)- [X]

<MagicCow> I hate people who think that being gay should give them special rights.. it's not like they are women, or black.. who were unfortunately born wrong.. they made a choice to be stupid faggots.

#104136 +(528)- [X]

<cheezychops> er
<cheezychops> SPELL*  WORD*

#115983 +(849)- [X]

<@Rob_Saunders> why do people dislike pop bands?
<+K_Praslowicz> Mecause it is mass-produced crap
<@Rob_Saunders> it's not all crap :(
<+K_Praslowicz> Maybe, But I'm not one to dig through piles of shit to pick out a good piece of corn to eat.

#122297 +(257)- [X]

<kszer0> sometimes I forgot I'm naked
<kszer0> and I'll go outside
DeBruce coveres his eyes
kszer0 bends over to pick up a penny
Hiroshirou rams zero like no tommorow

#139614 +(258)- [X]

<dan-o2> hay dudes my gf broke up with me I dont know why
<dan-o2> I just slapped her with my cock

#211672 +(342)- [X]

<Elly> ChanServ is actually a 14-year-old sex slave who sits in Bergee's apartment at a PC typing out commands over and over
<Bergee> 14? try 16
<Bergee> I have some class

#213250 +(-1)- [X]

<Asty> Tub Girl: "Well, shit."

#222596 +(798)- [X]

<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.

#247517 +(335)- [X]

<Mr_Nutty> once in a west texas town of el paso
<Mr_Nutty> I fell in love with a mexican girl
<Fina> It didn't stop her from charging you, though

#329513 +(467)- [X]

<Hi-Nu> My brother is trying to sing tot he opening score of LotR
<Hi-Nu> The problem is

#419733 +(832)- [X]

Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my friend

#483079 +(285)- [X]

<ajh_home> I'm not sure I can convey how uncomfortable it makes me when people just randomly come up to me.
<kyle> the funny thing is, if you killed them, it would be /you/ who gets arrested.
<kyle> what a backwards society.

#488268 +(1704)- [X]

<khamosis> oh man... i had typed "hey! anyone awake?" in another channel about 20 minutes ago
<khamosis> and just now i saw it and typed "yes!" not realizing it was me

#505741 +(2945)- [X]

<jsCLASS> lets talk about my johnson
<Mercster> small talk, eh?
<jsCLASS> fuck
<jsCLASS> owned

#572316 +(248)- [X]

Aria: So you heard about the software failure on the space shuttle that caused the windshield to crack?
Aria: The programmers explained it that with so many holes, at that altitude, windows sucks bad.
Vruba: Now /that's/ a BSOD.
Bodger: Talk about breathtaking incompetence.

#598783 +(650)- [X]

<greetz> where is that?
<Rafiki> After "is."

#669417 +(72)- [X]

phoenix8634: are you legally downloading music yet or no?
TwiztidTown: ROFL
TwiztidTown: what is that?
phoenix8634: k ill take that as a no
TwiztidTown: you can LEGALLY DOWNLOAD MUSIC?

#724976 +(1926)- [X]

<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night

#754652 +(523)- [X]

<Flac> Ahh, IRC, Kind of like downloading porn on limewire, When you open it up, your never quite sure what your going to see, but odds are good that it will scar you for life.

#948683 +(653)- [X]

<Yokujou`> iPhone autocorrect: Because "Asperger's Cock" is exactly what you were trying to convey.

#951292 +(1)- [X]

xGrill: SQL is like the chess of the programming world

0.0668 21090 quotes approved; 912 quotes pending
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