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#1066 +(821)- [X]

<D1> omg
<D1> christians are knocking at my door
<D1> and they're armed with the holy bible

#1433 +(441)- [X]

<Foo1> BOW TO ME
<Foo1> (*#$(*$#
*** Foo1 was kicked by Evel (WOOOOO I JUST KICKED JESUS FROM AN IRC CHANNEL!@##!@!@#!@#)

#3066 +(426)- [X]

<CactusJack> thats exeactly it...
(putnam): i lip synced rubber ducky by ernie from sesame street in literature for a project once.
(putnam): that brought the damn house down. i couldnt believe how perverted the song is
(putnam): i danced too. and got people into it. they were clapping.

#3321 +(767)- [X]

<Road> { private: long member; }
<Road> but for me, that would be a long long
<DAL9000> Road: you'd have to cast it to a char though.
<Road> DAL9000: Hmm, that would cause an overflow
<DAL9000> hah.
<DAL9000> no big deal, i hear you always prematurely core dump anyway
<Road> hahah, ouch

#3611 +(291)- [X]

<sAmEeLl> i smoke dunhills
<aNuBiS-> i assume thats #bearcave lingo for cock

#5416 +(376)- [X]

<DrWoody> i do'nt belkivein drinkng

#6395 +(60)- [X]

<st0w> I was just a tad intoxicated, man
<botnation> you got a got shot at me with the ole dildo in the mouth trick
<botnation> thank god she washes that shit

#7109 +(276)- [X]

(@sno) Emacs can mow down forests too. But it mows down forests with the passing of its fat, bloated ass.

#7223 +(226)- [X]

<wabbit> ok ... we dont choose what cum tastes like ... otherwise it would taste a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT!!!

#8479 +(196)- [X]

<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here
<Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life.
<spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm
<Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit.
<spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate

#8993 +(212)- [X]

<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!

#10409 +(52)- [X]

<Encapsulate> "Sean, what's your department called?"
<Encapsulate> "I have a department now?"
<Encapsulate> "WE need to route these Skip books to you"
<Encapsulate> "I have a department?"
<Encapsulate> "Right, what is it called for the skip page?""
<Toast> heh
<Encapsulate> "A whole department?"
<Encapsulate> "Yes"
<Encapsulate> "You mean interconnect?"
<Encapsulate> "Yes! Ok, we'll put that down"
<Encapsulate> "I feel more important when I'm called 'Fixed Network'."
<Toast> heh
<Encapsulate> "More important?"
<Encapsulate> "Yea."
<Encapsulate> "Ok, You can be fixed network"

#11137 +(243)- [X]

<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway

#11389 +(258)- [X]

<Cu-Ius> 'in an interview recently Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards, said that kids should not do drugs. Keith, we can't do any more drugs, because you already fucking did them all. We have to wait until YOU die, then smoke your ashes"

#13670 +(129)- [X]

<Cytoplasm[BLS]> #include <iostream.h>
<Cytoplasm[BLS]> void main(void) { float i = 0; while(true) {cout << i; i+=1; }
<reptile0> umm congrats on your programming accomplishment Cytoplasm[BLS]. John Carmack better watch out!

#21000 +(47)- [X]

[03:11] (twistedps) i believe im highly antisocial.
[03:11] <aqualyricist> ha
[03:11] <nightbreed420> me to tps
[03:12] <aqualyricist> i am so antisocial that i write down my orders at fast food carryouts
[03:12] <aqualyricist> drive throughs are a bitch tho
[03:12] (twistedps) haha yeah thats damn antisocial.

#25276 +(432)- [X]

<Draven> w0ot. 150 MB porn movie done!
<kaMIKazE> nice
<+RedvaldezAWAY> not bad Cow
<@murder1> wd d/l a 150 mb movie when all you're gonna last is at 500kb

#33848 +(183)- [X]

edRigo: she "Fell asleep with him" according to Marshall
edRigo: I assume that means they fucked, but you never know with him
BallastMan: from now i'll call you "dr ambiguous unless pressed for details"

#33866 +(55)- [X]

<brolli_420> World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (Champion) vs. Unknown Opponent
<brolli_420> WOW
<brolli_420> that should be a good match -_-

#36673 +(811)- [X]

<Kaz|Work> holy fucking shit
<Kaz|Work> im out of a job
<Kaz|Work> the place blew up
<@Zoot> better change your nick then.

#36975 +(261)- [X]

<InstrucT> i need to upgrade the memory to 1 gig, considering just plugging in the dimm i mean seriously why do i need to shut down
<Path> instruct: you have won the "stupidest person ive ever seen on irc" award for 2002.
<Path> congratulations

#38491 +(15)- [X]

<@Godfather_> ?? french army
<AnswerBook> french army: undefined term
<@Godfather_> lol
<@Godfather_> exactly!!!!

#39830 +(271)- [X]

* True_Yoshi kicks his keyboardtkgenfouj.

#44060 +(-81)- [X]

<BORGTriv> [BORGTriv] - Zmannnn Got the last one...
<BORGTriv> [BORGTriv] - 224. what is soccer star pele's real name?
<BORGTriv> [BORGTriv] - Here's a hint: --s-n ------- -- --s---e---

#44705 +(61)- [X]

-ChanServ- (#help) >>>READ THIS<<< AUTH INSTRUCTIONS: /msg authserv@services.gamesnet.net auth <handle> <password>
<Hk> Plz... How do I auth with chanserv?

#46427 +(448)- [X]

<crushdmb> blah
<crushdmb> I HATE EXES
* crushdmb kills all exes
<vap0r> hahaah
<vap0r> why?
<crushdmb> 'cuz my ex is an asshole
<vap0r> i thought you meant .exe

#50466 +(884)- [X]

<Goldath> I just made a sammach with enough meat to kill a large bird
<Goldath> Oh wait, it did
<Goldath> Hahaha, stupid turkey

#51107 +(502)- [X]

<EvilJoven> JESUS`Son: like you have said before, you cannot prove it, its a matter of faith
<EvilJoven> nothing you do can prove to us that the words you speak are not lies passed down from your fathers
<EvilJoven> the only thing which identifies the words in that book of yours as truth is that book, by that logic anything written is truth
*** Quits: JESUS`Son (~LightHope@ (Ping timeout)
<EvilJoven> ok, who packeted the lamer?
<EvilJoven> christ, I bet it was you Anjin
<EvilJoven> you people ALWAYS do that, I finish catching up on /. and decide to rip in to the lamer and one of you packets him or bans him, QUIT TAKING AWAY MY TOYS!

#51996 +(181)- [X]

Joe Fox : you know in multiplayer FPS', how in multiplayer their names go above their heads
Nanaki_ZPilot_assassin : yeah
Joe Fox : they need that in real life
Nanaki_ZPilot_assassin : LOL
Joe Fox : and you know how you can veiw peoples pings
Joe Fox : well, life needs that too, but for IQ not ping
Darth_Bowser : shit
Darth_Bowser : most of the IQs would be very low
Joe Fox : and life needs respawning too
Darth_Bowser : =P
Joe Fox : damnit, life needs to be a FPS
Darth_Bowser : heh
Darth_Bowser : that would be amusing
Joe Fox : where i have like a "cable" brain and everyone else has "56k" brains
Darth_Bowser : *cough* =P
Joe Fox : and you have a 128k brain

#52920 +(584)- [X]

<Veor> so i was smilin at her and she smilied back
<Veor> so i walked over to her and she kept staring where i was sitting at
<Veor> and she had a cane
<Veor> i realized she was blind

#54387 +(35)- [X]

<Simmons62> the more we get the more weed than we should have we get

#55899 +(305)- [X]

<tito> my boss has the lisp thing going on
<tito> but nobody is sure if he's gay or not :|
<hardlined> lithps are cool.
<hardlined> they thound thuper.
<DaggerIRC> grab his ass, ull figure it out by his facial reaction
<DaggerIRC> or erectile..
<hardlined> Mental note, learn from Dagger's mistakes.

#71997 +(241)- [X]

<Slicer> Its funny how the thought of sucking on a wet sock makes me feel sick to my stomach
<Slicer> and the thought of sucking on a dick, disturbingly enough, doesn't.
<Red> ...

#75393 +(446)- [X]

<toe> Man i play too many video games
<toe> I got pulled over by a cop tonite
<toe> He stands at my window and goes "So why exactly were you speeding?"
<toe> my reply? "I wasnt speeding, i was qualifying!"
<toe> $165 fine right about there.

#81911 +(-144)- [X]

<Phool312> trixie dont denie, you love the shaft in the mouth
<Phool312> trixie if i gave you 50 pence
<Phool312> would you have sex with me?
<trixie> fuck off

#83322 +(828)- [X]

* jesuschrist (she-christ@ has joined #tool
<@`2L> *** jesuschrist is back (has been gone for 2003 years 3 months, 28 days)

#99827 +(542)- [X]

<sta_hi> lol
<sta_hi> "anything can be a murder weapon, if you have enough time on your
<GrassMunk> soggy bread?
<sta_hi> yup
<sta_hi> ESPECIALLY soggy bread.
<GrassMunk> one blade of grass
<sta_hi> yes, that too
<sta_hi> ... if you remove the top of one's head first.
<sta_hi> or could somehow get it into his bloodstream.
<sta_hi> flacid severed penis?
<sta_hi> that too.
<GrassMunk> sperm
<sta_hi> thats destroyed more lives than any gun.

#106358 +(1021)- [X]

<Pizza|> anyone know of some good mp rpgs
<kessel> RL is good
<Pizza|> whats rl ?
<kessel> Real Life
<Pizza|> link ?

#107295 +(151)- [X]

<Blue> yeah, a copy of it was found in a desert
<Blue> the guy turned it into the newspaper or something instead of doing the right thing
<Blue> which of course is ebaying it

#110001 +(231)- [X]

<splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and keith richards
<splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine voltron

#124957 +(1051)- [X]

<doobie> where do you sickos get these fucking links
<doobie> i mean seroiusly, do you type in
<doobie> horribly disfigured penis into google?
<Diablo> no
<Diablo> actually i was searching for penises in mouse traps

#139543 +(302)- [X]

<Treppenwitz> my computer is not seeing my mouse
<Mephistopheles> hold it up in front of the webcam if you have one
<Mephistopheles> then take pictures

#146650 +(429)- [X]

<HumanHead> :/
<HumanHead> I tried to pull a drew at Video Warehouse
<HumanHead> <me> Do you have any job openings?
<HumanHead> <guy> no positions are open right now
<HumanHead> <me> that only means one thing...SOMEONE MUST DIE
<HumanHead> *me is asked to leave

#333255 +(472)- [X]

<bloodeu> Fortunately, I have a six pack that turns women on instantly
<skittz> is it bud light?

#373955 +(525)- [X]

arabella: you don't wear thongs bcuase they're comfy, you wear thongs becuase your boy likes them.
arabella: it's advertising.
firewalk: in some cases, false advertising.

#495571 +(1413)- [X]

<+sys> diodes are too one-sided
<+fork> on the contrary, my dildos are double-sided
<+fork> diodes. ok

#524500 +(-223)- [X]

TheOrigionalFuzz: this one guy was yelling at me in spanish the other day, so I said "speak a real language or go to hell" and he kept yelling at me, and it was pissing me off, so I flipped him off, so he started chasing me, so I started running, and that's about it
TheOrigionalFuzz: turns out I was on his property
TheOrigionalFuzz: or something

#644782 +(600)- [X]

Pep Boy Manny02: I was a little disappointed yesterday.
Pep Boy Manny02: Got "Religion for Dummies" from the library.
Pep Boy Manny02: You know how the "...For Dummies" books usually have the bomb icon for, "Don't do this!"?
Pep Boy Manny02: This one didn't.

#697034 +(707)- [X]

<Shoel> Look, the basic principle of IRC is this: Never ask anyone anything. Ever.

#921144 +(1216)- [X]

bp: how did my collar get popped
bp: srsly my neck felt weird so i felt it and my collar was popped without any physical intervention from me
esch: you have a douchebag poltergeist

0.0584 21096 quotes approved; 1802 quotes pending
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