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#283 +(1036)- [X]

<GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
<GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big Dicks
<GreenJelly> IM SO IN

#718 +(85)- [X]

<wild> i'm going to titty fuck her on the casket

#897 +(1326)- [X]

<two-c00l> i met eminem yesterday
<rick^MD> eminem is gay, and i hate gays
<two-c00l> eminem is not gay!
<rick^MD> yes he is
<two-c00l> prove it
<rick^MD> ok... i had anal sex with him last week
<two-c00l> um i thought you said you hate gays?
<rick^MD> oh umm... i was just making sure he was gay so i could prove it to you

#1141 +(430)- [X]

[D1] wait, vinyl players are called turntables too?

#1271 +(323)- [X]

<ez1|#trance> hey anyone who has experience with ecstasi please msg me , rush

#1760 +(160)- [X]

*** Parts: MadHatter (Hatter@ha.kz)
*** Joins: MadHatter (Hatter@ha.kz)
<MadHatter> wtf
<MadHatter> who kicked me
<Lepper> heh, you're too anal about being kicked
<MadHatter> I just want to know
<scar`> [16:57] *** Parts: MadHatter (Hatter@ha.kz)
<MadHatter> yeah ok
<Lepper> don't clients tell you when youg et kicked?
<Lepper> err, who kicks you
<MadHatter> I dunno man, I'm busy here
<MadHatter> leave me alone

#2993 +(154)- [X]

<michael-> Of the city's 11,500 firefighters, 2.7 percent are black and 3.2 percent Hispanic
<michael-> reeediculous
<maff> that's because their darker skin color attracts the heat

#3888 +(288)- [X]

<nitrifik_> wtf? that's blazemore? he looks 12!
<P2E> maybe that's why he has so much porn

#4754 +(59)- [X]

<`tate`> you ever see palm's api, my god, its like they said "you know what, apple's api is good(ie we're insane), lets copy it"

#7979 +(575)- [X]

<VOLVORacr> hello
<VOLVORacr> why are so many pepole here but nobody is chatting
<sc1> i'm masturbating
<sc1> leave me alone

#8379 +(1060)- [X]

<johnnY> ???????//////
<johnnY> ?????///////////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?//////////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????//////////////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ????????????/////////////////////////////////
<johnnY> ?????/////////////////////////////
<johnnY> \///\/\/\///\\\//\/\/\///\\\/\/\\\//\//\\/\///\\\/\/\/
*** Sn00kie has joined #pk
<johnnY> \/\////\\///\\///\\\///\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\///\\\\///\\//
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<johnnY> dude
<johnnY> it was my cat
<johnnY> ...
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> dude thats my cat
<pKfoster-ibx> sorry i went to take a piss
<pKfoster-ibx> the cat comes in and types SHUT THE FUCK UP
<pKfoster-ibx> i cant help it.. sorry dude

#10945 +(236)- [X]

<@Ded|> filled another glass of wine while I was at it
<@Ded|> oh damn someone else just pulled up w00t party on
<@oak> its me
<@oak> i'm there to slap you for drinking boxed wine

#12347 +(782)- [X]

<@skold> is this going to be a 'my penis is bigger than yours' conversation? cuz i have a ruler and a camera.

#13753 +(1553)- [X]

<Flirbnic> I have a time machine.
<Twilo> That's your fridge
<Flirbnic> Then explain how I can put perishable food items in there and take them out several days later STILL FRESH?

#16678 +(375)- [X]

<extrasupreme> This one time, i scored this chick at the pub...in the TOILETS !
<dunnakin> no you didnt you lying fuckhead
<extrasupreme> ok, i made it up
<extrasupreme> damn.

#21184 +(579)- [X]

<phoena>: I made the mistake of sending my husband to the store. He bought a case of Froot Loops.  Fourteen boxes.  I don't hate Froot Loops now, but I think I will 14 boxes from now.

#21863 +(282)- [X]

<eMeow-v2> WTF, why is nmbd dying each time?!
<Tamahome> Meow: it hates you, it's personal.
<eMeow-v2> Tamahome: you used that line already
<Tamahome> Meow: it's true.
<Tamahome> Meow: your computer is getting you back for all the years you     abused it
<eMeow-v2> Tamahome: it's a new computer. The old one is locked in the  cupboard.
<eMeow-v2> Oh wait. it's the old one that runs samba
<eMeow-v2> FUCK

#22202 +(2637)- [X]

The_Fur: where do i fail again?
BadMojo: First off, you're the product of a failed abortion. Then your mother failed to drown you properly, only enhancing your retardation. Then you failed to develop inter-personal skills, a sense of a humour, and functioning testicles. After that, you completely failed to "have sex" or what I like to call "fucking." After which, you failed to enhance your brain to a proper level.
BadMojo: Then, you failed to make sensible arguements, failed to make funny statements, failed to win, and invariably you will try to shoot yourself in the skull and fail at that too, whereupon you will accidentally shoot two house cats and a small schoolgirl.
BadMojo: Then you will fail to make a logical case in court, where you will fail to be found innocent, and you will go to prison, where the only thing you will succeed at is being jail raped and then murdered by a fatman
BadMojo: Okay, let me rephrase: you will fail to properly protect your anus from a fatman in prison, and you will fail to have a knife-proof head, directly resulting in your subsequent failure to live
BadMojo: whereupon your organs will be donated to science, where your heart will fail, killing a small child, your lungs will fail, killing an elderly man, your liver will fail, killing a recovering alcoholic, and your kidneys will fail, making somebody pee everywhere

#22338 +(197)- [X]

<MytE> i feel like marlon brando in the godfather
<Kruge> laying in the gutter after being shot several times at close range ?

#23470 +(104)- [X]

<D1> we used to have "Secret Massages" in english class
<kisama> where you'd rub the guy's dick
<kisama> under the desks
<D1> extacly!

#29353 +(136)- [X]

<lasereyes> im looking at that dazzle mpeg2.. but its like 350 bucks
<finneas> can you put a price on quality piracy?

#31159 +(320)- [X]

(rusty): You know....
(rusty): Those police officers must have had this happen to them....
(rusty): Cop: We have a red blur going pass us at -ERR MPH on the speed radar... please advise

#33350 +(82)- [X]

<jonny579> You know, esophagi are kinda like strange vaginas.

#36613 +(318)- [X]

<Ishtardances> See why dont guys have to prove they are "male" on the internet?
<Slapahoewitapaperbag> because guys dominate the chatrooms
<Ishtardances> oh....I just figured they would be intimidated by my large cock.
<slapahoewitapaperbag>...you are that same girl I just cybered with right?

#36672 +(983)- [X]

<Ramza> well how come it's down for me?
<Ramza> and don't say because of windows
<Cyan683> Does it give an error, or does it say "Unknown Host"?
<Ramza> yes
<Cyan683> .....
* Cyan683 sets mode: +i
* Ramza was kicked by Cyan683 (Wham!    --  Kibou to Hikari no script)
* Cyan683 sets mode: -i
* Ramza (spoon@anandtech.com) has joined #starmen
<Ramza> no?

#39808 +(403)- [X]

<Kerf> had an argument with a friend over whether or not l33t stuff would count in scrabble..then i reminded him that there are no numbers in scrabble

#40474 +(-53)- [X]

<Grimspoon> would you amputate an innocent babie's arm, skin it and use the baby arm skin as a condom in order to save 60 million lives?
<Destrox> you'd get to fuck somone with baby skin to become a hero for earth
<Grimspoon> i'd prolly not skin it, just jab the whole arm on my shlong and the little baby fingers would be like "ribbed for her pleasure"
<Grimspoon> i'd use the baby arm to ass fuck jessepence
<jessepence> ooooh yeah

#40950 +(256)- [X]

<mnsnsan> fourteen is legal in canada <chrizto> with the exchange rate, that makes the legal limit like, 5 in the us

#41152 +(147)- [X]

<@ElectroWaffle> i wanna see her stick a turkey leg in her vagina then pull it out with out any meat on the bone.

#42714 +(412)- [X]

<conform> i'll quit masturbating when you pry my cold dead hands from my cold dead cock.

#43476 +(284)- [X]

<Jezabel-n-hell> im in a size 7 jeans now
<TheMusclesFromBrussels> no you're not.
<Jezabel-n-hell> my ass looks bangin
<TheMusclesFromBrussels> no it isn't
<Jezabel-n-hell> i stopped traffic today
<TheMusclesFromBrussels> Jezabel-n-hell: it was probably near a red light

#59927 +(19)- [X]

<KeeperX> <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
<KeeperX> <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
<Flaming_Duck> oh god
<Flaming_Duck> look at the JPG
<Flaming_Duck> that's so gay
<KeeperX> yes, that is gay
<KeeperX> external CDROM

#66224 +(66)- [X]

<deepcut> whats with it your ftp ad saying saying ftp.fpsarchive.com: ?
<deepcut> thats not even a registered domain name
<GamezAFK> I'm using Serv-U
<GamezAFK> I just made up a domain name
<deepcut> hahaha
<deepcut> and you expect that to work?
<deepcut> idiot
<GamezAFK> I thought the registration stuff was just for HTTP sites
<GamezAFK> so what I gotta pay to register it or something?
<deepcut> well duh

#70545 +(129)- [X]

<freek> hey man, when i go to buy condoms, i'll be standing tall.  "TONIGHT.. I AM GETTING SOME."

#76387 +(23)- [X]

<Kuroko> lasagna --> waffles ---> pie ---> cake ---> death by chocolate ---> chocolate coffins ---> embalmed in chocolate ---> maggots and chocolate ---> sexy chocolate-covered corpses

#82193 +(36)- [X]

<antiroach> suck me off
<TheVirus> if i could find it
<antiroach> look harder

#84206 +(240)- [X]

<Tarkaan> I distonctly remember saying "extra hot"
<Tarkaan> damn chinese
<living2di> distonctly?
<Tarkaan> you are correct, that was a very ironic typo
<dabba> damn mongorians

#203220 +(511)- [X]

<@Butcher90210> lesbian porn is gods way of telling man "you fucked up but i still love you"

#233331 +(1211)- [X]

<jamesd> "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed."
* kop_ (~2@sdn-ap-019watacoP0124.dialsprint.net) has joined #solaris
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being an OpenServer or UNIXWare user is like living in a house that hasn't been touched by a carpenter or inspected by an architect in years.  Every morning when you wake up, the neighbor's house is a little better.  You are justing thankful that the floor hasn't fallen out from beneath your bed, cause you know it'll be half a decade before its fixed.
* RainbowW has quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being a Windows user is like living is a cheap vegas hotel.  Every morning, you wake up with a new disease.  The floor beneath your bed is likely to fall through at any time, but at least you can burn the hotel down and rebuild it or move to another room.
<jamesd> "Memory is like gasoline. You use it up when you are running. Of course you get it all back when you reboot..."
<jamesd>  -- Actual explanation obtained from the Micro$oft help desk.
<sheenmaster> haha
<sheenmaster> Damn Microsoft for coming up with better jokes than we do!

#269314 +(647)- [X]

<fluffy> also, you drastically reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer through frequent masturbation
<fluffy> so I think everyone in this channel is safe

#505741 +(2942)- [X]

<jsCLASS> lets talk about my johnson
<Mercster> small talk, eh?
<jsCLASS> fuck
<jsCLASS> owned

#560470 +(469)- [X]

<nick> grah windows just crashed again, unstable crap.
<yukito> Windows isn't unstable, it's just spontaneous.

#634201 +(1595)- [X]

Rabid Manyak: Oh man, my mid-term mark update is awesome
Rabid Manyak: computer science: 61% science: 74% math: 51% philosophy: 97%
Rabid Manyak: Thanks LSD!

#651411 +(232)- [X]

<Baloo> Supermarkets should have a newbie lane for the self-checkout.
<Baloo> "If you're a loser who hasn't seen the bag boy scan shit at the checkout before, and you've never bought a soda from a vending machine in your life, use this line."

#656426 +(305)- [X]

(+Cafe`) I am into AZN GANGSTAS
(tehjeebus|x) gangstas that can do math... that means they're the worst people to buy crack from

#663524 +(1843)- [X]

SpUnGe14: I should name my nuts Trinidad and Tobago
skater067: or
skater067: the virgin islands
SpUnGe14: Ouch

#838044 +(474)- [X]

<deitarion> I've always been the "mind is more important than looks" type and all the girls around here are idiots.
<pewbert> deitarion, same here, but idiot pussy feels just as good as smart pussy

#847598 +(1723)- [X]

Amul Muzz said:
Why do I get the feeling that this is really a mob, just waiting for someone to say something they do not agree with?
chrismjr said:
That's the best description for the internet I've ever heard

#945388 +(259)- [X]

<david> i carry a 12 inch dildo, condom, thumb tack, 10 grapes, and a time magazine from 1992
<david> things do get wild
<HorseZilla> rookie
<mike> lol
<HorseZilla> you need a battery
<HorseZilla> candle wax
<HorseZilla> chains and a cinder block
<HorseZilla> oh and that speed glide lube that brad used to sell
<david> calm down macgyver
<david> im getting freaky, not escaping a haitian prison
<HorseZilla> you two are in vegas
<HorseZilla> and youre still fucking around here
<HorseZilla> what the fuck is wrong with you two?

#961718 +(154)- [X]

ivy: A man named William Reed's last living testament says that he is going to read his own will
ivy: Will Reed's will will read: "Will Reed will read Will Reed's will".
Elyse: no
Elyse: it's his son will reed junior
Elyse: except will reed senior was so far gone with alzheimers that usually when someone's talking about will reed they're talking about his son, junior
Elyse: he isn't completely running the family business into the ground but he still longs for the times his father, the true biz-wiz, was running things better than ever
Elyse: but now those times are in the ground with his dad
Elyse: still can't believe he's gone
ivy: what the fuck elyse

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