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#279 +(897)- [X]

<gloone> internet, movies and masturbation ruined my life.
<gloone> but it also made it worthwhile

#724 +(109)- [X]

<EFX> at least I'm not black with a huge penis

#1168 +(455)- [X]

(snowburnt) teengirl: if you had pre in front of teen i would soooo talk to you

#2028 +(114)- [X]

<_Bas> how come cars only have 4/5 gears?
<_Bas> if they make like overdrive on an overdrive
<_Bas> would you get much much gas mileage?

#4253 +(280)- [X]

<FarginBoard> I tried to get AIDS once, but even those people wouldn't do it with me

#4882 +(301)- [X]

<l0wkey> i am in a jam...it is my old roommates 21st birthday tonight, no school tomorrow, a few movies i want to see, Simpsons and X-Files...what to do?
<l0wkey> I KNOW...STAY ON IRC

#7297 +(40)- [X]

<Lord-Data> even tho im a fat guy, i dont want a fat chick .. been there .. done that .. and no offence to her coz shes a great person .. but .. id rather not again :)
<OutLore> hehe
<OutLore> agreed
<bytraper> hahahaha
<bytraper> like rocking a car on the edge of a cliff
<OutLore> 3 votes, the motion is hereby passed

#7345 +(45)- [X]

<chin> i got a solution, lets shoot homeless at the missles
<chin> that way the system pays for itself

#7391 +(503)- [X]

<Kaff> the biker from the Village People died.
<Kaff> he died of lung cancer.
<Kaff> which just proves that getting a coq up the date will kill you in mysterious ways.
<Dane> kaff: no. you just misunderstood when the report said that he'd had too many fags.
<Kaff> haha

#7817 +(97)- [X]

<Musashi> wait what the heck this isnt pong, it's two PMSing stick figures screwin around

#8376 +(566)- [X]

<Rach|Dressing > i just had the yummiest shower
<Rach|Dressing > it was nice and hot
<Fentom > ....damn it people prove that your hands ARE ON THE KEYBOARD after that comment

#10561 +(57)- [X]

<cabbagehead227>: is a closet queer anything like a bed bug, do you suppose?

#10994 +(596)- [X]

<Hiryuu> When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.

#13386 +(522)- [X]

<J-Zilla> ma$e became a preacher
<DarkSerge> wtf does he preach
<d> you idiot ds
<d> "I'M A PLUMBER"
<d> ds: "WHAT DO U PLUMB?"

#13467 +(231)- [X]

<Krameras> i know somebody who doesnt want to watch the Simpsons because its "too derogatory"
<CyberThor> Yeah. It's offencive to yellows everywhere!

#14509 +(1037)- [X]

<Joe> Who invented l33t-speak?
<Evil_Lawn_Gnome> Joe, I did.
<milencho880> i invented it
<Joe> Really? Good. I always wanted to meet the world's biggest fucking idiots.

#15358 +(40)- [X]

<dR i l l 6 2> if it wasn't for the patience developed from windows,

#15460 +(222)- [X]

<ll|||ll||> I meant to say to ant.. "Use themeat from the fridge so we don't have to defrost stuff for dinner".. but I said.. [16:49.43] <ll|||ll||> "Use the meat from the fridge so we don't have to download stuff for dinner"

#15567 +(335)- [X]

Bezoar    of all the liver disorders one could get, hep A is pretty good. you get it, you feel like shit for a little while, it goes away, and you're immune for life.
eval      sounds like religion

#16786 +(478)- [X]

<BloodFromStone> I think my bathroom has the perfect geometry, so that no matter where or how something is dropped, it ends up in the toilet.

#20418 +(316)- [X]

<StephHauth> why the fuck did my nick have OWNED at the end? i ddnt put that!!!!

#23231 +(143)- [X]

[Belisaurus] you never know what your going to get like , A sexy wooomaaan or a boated guy with a deformed willy and a buckshot round in whats left of his head
[Belisaurus] its like playing russian rullette with your erection

#33706 +(301)- [X]

<Voyd> What about Battlefield1943? and 44?
<zen> 42 just came out, give them time to sequalize
<Toen> 1943 and 1944 were peaceful years, you see.
<Voyd> Oh.
<Toen> except for the war.
<Voyd> Darned lying histroy books.
<aen{afk> Ahaha
<aen{afk> "Life was peaceful and all, yep... 'cept for the war part."
<Toen> well christ, if you're going to count a little massive invasion of europe here and a little rampant genocide there...

#34123 +(163)- [X]

<daenonok> "it's advised that, after removing new crest white strips&#8482; you find three complete strangers, and give them oral sex, to get the taste of hydrogen peroxide out of your mouth"

#37136 +(407)- [X]

<bloop> that's a moot point
<SLing> your mom's a moot point
<bloop> you're cats a moot point
<SLing> your spelling is a mott point
<SLing> ...damn

#37988 +(565)- [X]

*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@66.0.92.223) has joined #photography
<BlackNet21> anyone here wanna help me with a photo?
<pd_corax> A what?
<danno> wtf is a photo
*** BlackNet21 (BlackNet@66.0.92.223) has left #photography
<danno> sheesh, it takes all kinds...

#38231 +(968)- [X]

<mordac> Beige: I bought a WATCH from some guy in Battery Park!
<mordac> I totally haggled.
<mordac> I told him I only had $10 for it, and he was like OKAY :( except I only had twenty dollar bills.
<mordac> He even gave me the change.

#49041 +(39)- [X]

<waffle> Jon: promise us all you will never have children
<waffle> for the good of mankind
<Ed> He doesn't have to promise!
<Phyresis> I don't plan on reproducing
<Phyresis> but I'm going to mold humanity to the way I see fit
<Phyresis> I'm sick of ignorant fuckers running amok
<Phyresis> we will have enlightenment or extinction
<Phyresis> take your pick
<Ed> So are you like, Asian Jesus or someshit?

#49438 +(206)- [X]

<Rogue> lol @ my dads message just sent to me
<Rogue> "Press down if you think your gay"
<Rogue> i pressed down
<Rogue> "You fucking faggot"
<Rogue> he is an asshole
* Rogue slaps his dad

#81914 +(53)- [X]

<Mr_Milkman> i just found some metal shavings and shredded rim tape inside my wheel
<Mr_Milkman> i've no idea why i didn't get puntures
<Mr_Milkman> time to go buy some rim tape i think
<olly> heeeheeheee "rim tape" heeheehee

#85870 +(577)- [X]

<Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat, I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a horny female in my entire life...cool.'
<Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
<Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever said.
<Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.

#86960 +(1027)- [X]

<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one had a brain D:
<samurai> bush has a brain
<samurai> its just really really small
<V|JFreak> dude
<V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....

#97911 +(225)- [X]

:::: Now in #bearcave
* martraci slowly leaves; back against the wall

#100322 +(815)- [X]

<Gareth> HOW DO I DOWNLOAD GAMES!!!
<TK421-> WHOA LIKE I CAN TELL YOU HOW YO!
<TK421-> Go to download.com and download a few game demos, depending on which ones you download they will combine to make different versions of MECHADEMO! *sings power rangers theme song*
<Gareth> DUDE FUCK YOU

#107371 +(710)- [X]

<NekoGuy> Oh my fucking god I'm 16 years old, engaged, with a 2.0 average planning to make a career out of politics, I spend my entire day on IRC, looking at porn and fantasizing about a race of catgirls that will never exist.
<NekoGuy> IT JUST FUCKING HIT ME.
* NekoGuy kills himself

#117732 +(727)- [X]

<bfdd> i heard the mcdonalds commerical say special sauce
<bfdd> and i thought "ill give em some special sauce"
<kcl822> heh
<bfdd> and then i realized
<bfdd> i was talking dirty to a tv commerical
<bfdd> and felt ashamed of myself

#126428 +(1144)- [X]

<ZiggyPopFoo> does anyone know how to install OpenBSD i hav ti on disk and i cna load it and everyhtin but i dunno how to install it properly without wiping over windows, plz help lz?
<notick> buy a unix help manual.
<ZiggyPopFoo> i dont have unix in have openbsd u fucking def bastard.
<notick> oh, my bad! (idiot)
*ZiggyPopFoo forgives notick
<ZiggyPopFoo> dont worry i have had nowledge about openbsd for yers its just open bsd is the hardest one of them all, ull learn as mich about as i know some day.
<notick> Shower me with your god-like wisdom, ZPF
<ZiggyPopFoo> wisdom??? I HAVE OPENBSD!!!!

#147512 +(328)- [X]

<Wario> can't sleep.  clowns will eat me
<Kyle> Instead of sleeping..
<Kyle> Scan your boobies. :D
<Trunks> Yeah.
<Trunks> That works.
<Trunks> That'd be funny if her parents walked in.
<Trunks> Tits on the scanner.
<Kyle> "Hmm. This is awkward."

#150020 +(32)- [X]

Sorcerer: I mean shit, that one time I got banned, my dog came on and pissed everybody off on the RPGC boards while I was in the shower! I swear! Honest!

#212261 +(213)- [X]

<Chicken> i used to work at the zoo cleaning up crap
<DigitallyChallenged> hahaha
<Chicken> they paid my 645 an hour
<Chicken> me
<DigitallyChallenged> woah holy shit
<DigitallyChallenged> i could do that!
<DigitallyChallenged> gimmie a shovel!
<Chicken> no
<Chicken> 6.45
<DigitallyChallenged> oh
<Chicken> LOL
<DigitallyChallenged> well that's not as good...

#222456 +(475)- [X]

<ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
<Gino> I don't even wanna know this one....
<ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!!
<Gino> Oh how rite i was

#291625 +(608)- [X]

<CharColt64> I think when you get a roaming charge a lil icon should pop up, of a guy gettin fucked in the ass

#390150 +(203)- [X]

<Breach> I just got another "make your penis larger for $20.00" email. I already spent $140 and now when I get excited I fall over forward.. the only good thing is the kickstand effect.

#572824 +(678)- [X]

<Rhodz> So anyway, if I get that threesome with my girl and one of her hot friends, I'll be a happy man
<Psy> Well of course you'd have to tape it
<Rhodz> I won't be taping it. What I want to do is get a director in to tape it. 3 cameras, lighting, the works.
<Psy> Awesome. I did photography last year, I could totally do that
<Rhodz> Er...do you really want to see my wang?
<Psy> Well, we could just blur it out...
<Rhodz> Sweet! Then it'll be just like Japanese porn!
<Rhodz> ...
<Rhodz> Except I won't be shitting on her.

#632703 +(2784)- [X]

<WarMoose> Think about how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half of them are dumber than that.
<Chunda> Why half?

#701390 +(206)- [X]

<Snurks> holy god they're making a The Little Mermaid III
<MessedRawker> featuring a dead horse as a new co-star right?

#744290 +(1020)- [X]

<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'.
<Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with country music etc,etc.
<Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in front of my car the other day,
<Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons 'THRILLER' came on :S

#777224 +(260)- [X]

<mikesch> aliens need to lay off the acid on crop circle nights.

#802731 +(577)- [X]

taebaeg: god i swear you guys make 4chan look like fine literature sometimes
lemonlimeskull: ...
lemonlimeskull: "Ask not for whom the Rick roll'd. It roll'd for thee."

#841006 +(192)- [X]

<Arbe> there's this really pretty girl at college
<Arbe> all her friends hate me though
<Arbe> with good reason
<Arbe> what do i do???
<xpCynic> look for someone else
<~blackhole89> Download a girl ending in .jpg instead
<Arbe> will she keep me warm at night?
<~blackhole89> get a laptop
<Arbe> and tell me that the future doesn't matter?
<~blackhole89> with speakers

0.0624 21085 quotes approved; 584 quotes pending
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