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#2478 +(261)- [X]

<Mave> packetmonkey has a whole different meaning in jail :/

#2725 +(313)- [X]

* CanuckSaq screws with people's minds way too much
<mindrape> CanuckSaq: you must have a little weewee, cuz i didn't feel you were screwing mine :/
<CanuckSaq> mr: a) I have a gigantic cock, and b) you assume you actually possess a mind

#3668 +(352)- [X]

<ThaDragon> money == good life == pussy + beer.
<ThaDragon> Preferrably in that order. Pussy tastes horrible after beer.
<tenfour> eew
* ThaDragon grossed out tenfour
<tenfour> I can't stand the taste of beer

#3812 +(179)- [X]

MrP- slaps AlterAFK around a bit with his slapping thingy

#4723 +(55)- [X]

<+DCBastard> just a jpg
<@m00cow> what of ?
<+DCBastard> apache ah-64
<@m00cow> i've got an apache
<@m00cow> webserver that is

#5923 +(292)- [X]

[mad] I MEAN CMON.

#6401 +(533)- [X]

<risca> how do you spell world?
<risca> as in "the whole world"
<mixie> world

#6970 +(312)- [X]

<RunMe> I saw people fucking in the NRV parking lot once back in high school
<RunMe> it was pretty fucking disgusting
<glasnost> thats an appropriate type of disgusting.

#8223 +(825)- [X]

<below> i'm going to kill my roommate.
<Aven> Kill kill kill
<below> he's going to die for this one
<below> you are?
<below> wtf?!
<below> how many fingers am i holding up?
<Aven> 2
<Aven> But I don't think ones a... oh god.
<below> yes.
* Aven stabs himself in the eye with a pen.

#9610 +(200)- [X]

<MrFreeze> !google turkey+baster
<drug|THC> http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
<djcrom> see, my bot rocks

#11973 +(226)- [X]

<Tribespr0n> oh wait
<Tribespr0n> i have an 80 gig drive full of porn
<Tribespr0n> i need to hook that up
<Tribespr0n> Dude at work, brought in an 80 gig drive full of asian porn
<Tribespr0n ok
<Tribespr0n> wtf
<Tribespr0n> this drive is part of a raid array

#11987 +(419)- [X]

*** {JPM} changes topic to 'Welcome to IRC! The Home of fat chics and skinny guys.'

#13868 +(34)- [X]

<bpb> let's all play a game shall we?
<bpb> ok, everybody who has a line that is probably tapped raise your hand
* bpb raises his hand
<bpb> now, raise your hand if you think iip is completely secure ;)

#14787 +(159)- [X]

<colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the contents of your
nostrils into a trash can

#19072 +(1059)- [X]

<dsif0r> that lil clip dude
<dsif0r> that microsoft uses
<dsif0r> he rules.
<quish> ...
<quish> no he doesnt
<quish> he's annoying as hell
<dsif0r> yes he does
<dsif0r> he always cares about my feelings
<dsif0r> people just treat him like shit
<dsif0r> and hes only there to help.

#21025 +(1009)- [X]

<Storm> ok, when my mom's friend was like 6, she was out waiting for the bus, also happened to be garbage pick-up day
<Storm> so anyways little kid is waiting for the bus, and her dog comes running out her house to see her, well...unfortunate timing placed the dog right in the street as the garbage truck was arriving
<Storm> so *BAM!* street pizza
<Storm> but then...the garbage man gets outta the truck....sees the dead dog...and just tosses it in the back of the truck, right infront of all the kids at the bus stop

#21850 +(166)- [X]

<Farrod> garh, most evil code EVER: assign module_power2[9:0] = ((({10{ramped_tx_on}} & tx_on2[9:0]) |
<Farrod>                                     ({10{ramped_rx_on}} & rx_on2[9:0]))
<Farrod>                                     & block_enable_b[9:0]) | block_default_b[9:0];
<elvisW> i'll see your evil code and raise you useless error message of the week:
<elvisW> 08/08/2002 16:54:06 FATAL ERROR PANIC : General Protection Fault (#13) at $001759E0
<elvisW> EAX=03205F94 EBX=00FD5CF4 ECX=DBB180AC EDX=67616D6A
<elvisW> ESP=0045E62C EBP=0045E64C ESI=000000B9 EDI=03205F94
<elvisW> --------------------------------------------------------------------
<elvisW>   Unable to query the system log to give context.

#22204 +(152)- [X]

* supreemballs listens to (#69): Richard Simmons & Little Richard - Together Forever.

#22334 +(10)- [X]

<drdink> do it again and i'll have your dick surgically shoved up your ass

#25026 +(454)- [X]

<Cobain4ever 87> FUCK YOU
<Falaxor> pissing you off is like trying to pick up a fat, ugly women at a bar. It's too easy, and when you suceed, its no fun at all.

#30030 +(255)- [X]

<MiDGeT`> so its just irony i guess
<MiDGeT`> but cooler
<BrettyBoy> i hate ironing

#32775 +(1666)- [X]

<dranyam> It's nature. How do you make nature against the fucking law? It grows everywhere. Serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying to God made a mistake. You know what I mean, it's like God on the seventh day looked down on his creation:
<dranyam> "There it is, my creation, perfect and holy in all ways. Now, I can rest."
<dranyam> [Mimes God looking around - spotting pot]
<dranyam> "Oh my me."
<dranyam> "I left fucking pot everywhere."
<dranyam> "I should never have smoked that joint on the third day ..shit."
<dranyam> "That was the day I created possums. Haha. Still gives me a chuckle."
<dranyam> "If I leave pot everywhere that's gonna to give humans the impression they're supposed to... 'use' it."
<dranyam> "(sigh)Now I have to create Republicans."

#33761 +(28)- [X]

<evLJim> EMERGENCY!!! 
<evLJim> a new energy drink from the UK 
<evLJim> it sends you right to the hospital!

#34481 +(223)- [X]

Hurricane_Hasney- hehe, my g/f gets scared of talking to other people, god knows why lol
Hurricane_Hasney- Probably cuz shes used to being locked in my garage...

#39826 +(105)- [X]

<jeyjeydiggy> hey im writing a paper about madonna and i need someone thats gay to help me out, melee can you help me?
<melee> you sure thats not an autobiography?

#42391 +(199)- [X]

<@Phillip> so
<@Phillip> ive come up with a rough formula to calculate the chance that a chick at a bar will want to screw me
<@Phillip> C=[(p/t)/100]+100(D)
<@Phillip> C is the percentage chance that she will want to
<@Phillip> p is pi
<@Phillip> t is the amount of time in seconds that i talk
<@Phillip> and D is how drunk she is

#43747 +(244)- [X]

<alicetr> is anyone good with win2k networking?
<fatbrain> alicetr: just ask
<MBoffin> Maybe he did ask. Maybe he's doing a survey.

#50757 +(146)- [X]

(@Vinpire) ahh but 25 days until some lovely new stuff. and only a month till i get some money and buy and xbox
(+[KdAwG]) ....
(+[KdAwG]) Vinpire; i never want to speak to you again
(@Vinpire) oh it's like that, even after i sent you that star wars rom
(@Vinpire) pah
(+[KdAwG]) ...you sent me star wars? :x
(@Vinpire) jeez, i uploaded it to your ftp so other people could rape you for it yesterday
(+[KdAwG]) ...you did? :D
(@Vinpire) it's in uploads. lol
(+[KdAwG]) wow
(+[KdAwG]) it is
(+[KdAwG]) <3

#52426 +(321)- [X]

<MvCrash> I did it DOGGY style with my wife this morning.....
<MvCrash> I begged... she rolled over and played DEAD!!!

#52519 +(14)- [X]

* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
<temAjinsDawg> I have ultima IV, on SMS......best SMS game ever
<temAjinsDawg> people say itS hard to find....is that tRue?
<temAjinsDawg> I boughT it for $2
<temAjinsDawg> yeaH ok.....don'T all talk at onCe
<temAjinsDawg> hellllllllllllllllooo
<temAjinsDawg> phukking answer me!!!!!!!
<temAjinsDawg> Do you want me to unleash my horde of script kiddies???
<temAjinsDawg> I have many who do what i ask, in return for wareZ
<temAjinsDawg> so answer
<temAjinsDawg> pleasE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<temAjinsDawg> i am asking nicely now......answer me
<temAjinsDawg> phuck you all.......i have your IP's.......expect trouble!......have a nice day!
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has joined #ultima
* temAjinsDawg (kimmy@vw-16408.uu.net) has left #ultima

#53451 +(-2)- [X]

<Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> whats with all the netsplits?
<Rodzilla> J0 MAMA
<Dave_The_Insane[depressed]> o_O

#55591 +(270)- [X]

[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :)
[Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then

#60846 +(386)- [X]

1:35a (mdxi) twenty-three hours of logs for this month and already 9 searches for "legolas porn" and 2 for, even more disturbingly, "gimli porn"
1:35a (mdxi) some days i think we should all just go back to fidonet

#76932 +(134)- [X]

<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> god damnit this porn i dled has a dude in it
<Yeti[B-A]> porns normally do
<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> the only dick i wana see while i watch porn is mine

#82226 +(280)- [X]

<a_passerby> and although she has never given me written consent to check her legs, i most certainly have
<flatface> lol
<Saotome_Ranma> testosterone alert
<Saotome_Ranma> woo woo
<Saotome_Ranma> passerb is becoming horny :o
<a_passerby> testosterone makes the world go round
<a_passerby> estrogen makes the world mad and unfriendly
<Everdraed> Says the person who just went through twenty plus pages of Winnie the Pooh hentai

#95680 +(-738)- [X]

[_Fidel_] your husband is that nigger that hugs u in "bigt.jpg"?
[rinat2137] dont use that word please.
[rinat2137] but yeah..thats him
[_Fidel_] how does a nice white jewish girl like yourself fell inlove with a niggro ?
[rinat2137] i said dont use that word..please
[_Fidel_] i'm sorry, "colored" dude
[rinat2137] and an answer for your question, love is BLIND
[a_duck] "love is BLIND"... i think you are the blind if you got married with a nigger

#99035 +(202)- [X]

<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep 
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend 
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online" 
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone" 
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO" 
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you"

#105364 +(259)- [X]

<bonch> Any recommended strategies for egging a house?
<nastsmom> yes
<nastsmom> first buy some eggs

#105590 +(427)- [X]

<[mahn]jooce> I was expecting coke when I drank urine
<[mahn]jooce> and
<[mahn]jooce> it took me like 5 seconds to figure out what it was
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> I'm sure the Coke company would be thrilled to hear it took so long

#218577 +(756)- [X]

<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what decade

#221849 +(115)- [X]

<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world

#265090 +(385)- [X]

<Ck3> know whats pedophile's favorite chord?
<Ck3> A minor

#281855 +(1669)- [X]

<TokenBlackGuy> my friend and i were writing l33t notes back and forth in spanish class and our teacher caught us and was like "im gonna read this to the entire class" and stopped and was like "are you two writing in tounges?"

#329553 +(1292)- [X]

<Artemius> LONDON Iran has established what could be the first training center for Islamic suicide attackers.
<Treen> How does one train for a suicide bombing?
<Traveler> It's indoctrination, plus training on how not to detonate prematurely, and how to get your payload safely to where you are supposed to explode. I'd imagine there's a fair amount of "not getting caught" training involved.
<Sketchboy> So a lot like sex-ed?

#399773 +(1208)- [X]

<Outsyder> ok
<Outsyder> so I was sitting in gym on friday
<Outsyder> my friends were talking about some stupid thing
<Outsyder> and I was stroking my leg hair
<Outsyder> and i thought
<Outsyder> "hey, if a supervillian had hairy legs, he wouldn't need a cat"

#446429 +(934)- [X]

<Gladiator> Jesus christ, my mom is so fucking stupid
<Gladiator> She was complaining to me about how "all the french stereotype us"

#688766 +(391)- [X]

puffster: Can you really start a sentence with "With almost 100% accuracy..."?
killdbykangeroos: I think I'm positive you can.

#734413 +(2190)- [X]

<ShaggyShaggs> heh, my grandmother amused me earlier
<ShaggyShaggs> I got up, got dressed, took a leak, washed my face, got out of the bathroom and mom's there holding the phone telling me it's for me
<ShaggyShaggs> I grab the phone and mutter "Is this more important than coffee?"
<ShaggyShaggs> and my grandmother says "Nothing is more important than coffee, call me back later"

#743233 +(392)- [X]

<Mud_Shark> Dagger thinks an orgy is using more than one magazine

#950977 +(992)- [X]

<hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

0.0617 21047 quotes approved; 55 quotes pending
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