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#438 +(159)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> if you count her cunt as kissing then it's been about a year since I kissed a chick

#461 +(376)- [X]

<Theseus> get the free like 10 CDs they give you
<Theseus> then write a letter to them signed under your parents name saying you burned all those satan music CDs, and to never send mail to that address again

#2011 +(293)- [X]

<Speef> man
<Speef> I have some killer gas
<matts> go to the terrorists... they'll need your help

#4837 +(674)- [X]

<KeeperS> one of the questions on there is "HOW MANY SIDES DOES A TRIANGLE HAVE?"
<KeeperS> and it has a picture of a triangle
<KeeperS> and then 4 answer choices
<KeeperS> how do you get that wrong?

#4867 +(254)- [X]

<reuben> i'm going to name my kid with elite capitalization
<langdon> my kid will be all caps.

#7110 +(244)- [X]

<@Spider124> Gay ass homo, as opposed to "Hetero Ass homo"

#7494 +(140)- [X]

<Chrizto> I had too much of this hot sauce last night called "scorned woman"

#8434 +(167)- [X]

<Ag3ntOrangE> I like that one song by Alice Deejay...
<Ag3ntOrangE> except for the part that goes: "Do you think your better off alone?"

#8577 +(29)- [X]

<sugar> nm, i cant reason with yall. but im right
<sprinkles> s/right/wrong/

#8634 +(69)- [X]

<gord> i dont like you
<gord> and if i met your mom i probly woudlnt like her either

#12303 +(504)- [X]

<baldurk> btw, happy independance day!!
<baldurk> although in england we call it thanksgiving day

#14567 +(87)- [X]

<radar1976> want it?
<Spamalope> depends
<Spamalope> how big is it?
<radar1976> 6 inchs
<radar1976> kidding!
<radar1976> how big is too big?
<Spamalope> Well.. I don't want to be downloading all day
<radar1976> nah
<radar1976> if I had the space I would put it on my co lo site
<radar1976> but I can't :(
<Spamalope> that's okay
<Spamalope> are you just going to send here or what?
<radar1976> no putting in on my web server
<Spamalope> sounds good :P
<Spamalope> just tell me where it's at when you're ready
<radar1976> give it 4 mins
<Spamalope> Bah. You're done in 4 mins?
<Spamalope> What a waste of 6 inches :P

#21817 +(195)- [X]

<gfm> barubary -- ok so you've spent 9 months on this, have nothing
      conclusive to show for it, and even if you did manage to find
      something, which we'd all bet large sums of money isn't going to
      happen, its useless except to a handful of warez kiddiez in #psx?
<gfm> Don't you have anything better to do?
<Barubary> nope
<gfm> oh
<gfm> well, ok then.
<gfm> good luck

#31130 +(633)- [X]

<rocky> i bought a clothes hamper so clothes wouldn't pile up on my floor and yet there is already a pile as tall as a leperchaun
<tima> i found that the only way to keep my appartement clean is to start occational fires

#32877 +(180)- [X]

<RichiH> OK, i just iced my pants with canned air
* RichiH thinks he is seriously bored

#33939 +(551)- [X]

<Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
<Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half of a black man if you know what I'm saying
<Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while the bottom half does nothing?

#35948 +(175)- [X]

<CUI> On other hand, I figure that this will be a night to remember
<Psy_Duck> Hand is all you need
<Psy_Duck> :)))
<CUI> Hand is all I got =/

#36523 +(12)- [X]

* Topic is '#studio64: Sex. Angst. Hate. Idiocy. Socio-theological Debate. || <Sigma> topic change please || <Sigma> I'm a big homo.  <Sigma> Please stick something large and meaty in my poophole. || <Sigma> Thanks'

#36743 +(416)- [X]

<dr_dna> no, i love animals - ive been a vulcan for 12 years
<jdk> don't you mean a vegan?
<dr_dna> what, with these ears?

#38408 +(352)- [X]

<@godofcows> I swear that'd have to be the most evil thing you could do
<@Vinic> what about donating 30 billion dollars of countefiet cash to child cancer societies?
<@Vinic> on the back of each bill is you jacking off and saying 'here's your medicine bitch'

#41241 +(278)- [X]

<zig> i remember when i was on AOL and i thought the internet was divided into sections like... GAMES MOVIES SPORTS NEWS

#41752 +(168)- [X]

<Endura> Man, don't you just hate it when you are with your parents in front of important people and all of the sudden...you're hard and it won't go down?

#42159 +(485)- [X]

<patches> I like pussy better than drugs
<patches> I've never heard of an OD off pussy
<octane--> its called A CHILD

#42388 +(16)- [X]

<ZeroHour> that NYLUG looked decent
<ZeroHour> if we did a Mississippi LUG
<ZeroHour> it would be a buncha grungy ass rednecks
<ZeroHour> with ghetoo laptops and paintless rides
<ZeroHour> rides where the paint peeled off
<ZeroHour> rides with different colors on each panel of the body of the vehicle

#43253 +(571)- [X]

<Alb-guy> I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned about other teenagers who are using these products as masturbation aids.

#43781 +(134)- [X]

< Squishy> in trade i'd like your soul for my collection
< Whoregasm> he means "your dick" for "his anus"
< Squishy> i've got lots of souls from this channel

#46259 +(160)- [X]

TaXxXi: Umm...someone in our apartment complex wrote "U Suck Dick" in gold spraypaint on someone's brand new PT Cruiser.
weird_aunt_martha: yeah PT cruisers are THAT ugly
TaXxXi: I feel bad because I kinda laughed.

#53284 +(651)- [X]

<@Headlor> when i live somewhre less gay
<@Headlor> im getting a cat
<@Headlor> and calling it "Hitler Stalin Mao"
<@Headlor> or just stalin
<@Headlor> "whats your cat called?"
<@Headlor> "stalin."
<@Headlor> "."
<@Headlor> ill write on its littertray "human rights"
<@Headlor> and on its bowl "flesh of the capitalist pig dogs"

#53620 +(125)- [X]

<@PrincessSleia2> uh, so a few months ago i stopped drinking coffee
<@PrincessSleia2> so i had two cups this morning and drank dr pepper with lunch, and i am now unstable
<@FrozenFireball> .........
<@PrincessSleia2> ok, more unstable than usual

#54802 +(222)- [X]

<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever seen
<Frostlion> no it'sn't
<tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling

#55341 +(811)- [X]

<whiskers> wtf
<whiskers> my sister just called me from her room
<whiskers> told me to turn down the music
<Spyder|TV> crank it
<torontotranceaddict> CRANK IT
<Kinuvan> CRANK IT
*whiskers turns up the music
<whiskers>i hear steps
*** Signoff: whiskers (Ping Timeout)

#75246 +(964)- [X]

<cuebol> I've yet to see the bald guy on Mr. Clean products come alive and help me with the chores.
<synec> inhale the fumes more deeply

#76710 +(141)- [X]

<Jess> What the hell?
<Jess> Winamp says "installer too small"?
<Tetsuo> didn't you know jess?  Size DOES matter

#79945 +(427)- [X]

<Torke> and now
<Torke> my dad's get a quad for his birthday
<Torke> he's turning 50
<Grimp> don't let him near the rocket launcher

#83947 +(212)- [X]

<Horror> knock knock
<Dooper> who's there?
<Horror> Go fuck yourself
<Dooper> go fuck yourself who?

#106879 +(138)- [X]

<jZSAURONZj> Oh Cool, someone sent me a Video clip of Punky Brewster all grown up and feeling herself up
<jZSAURONZj> I love friends

#113365 +(228)- [X]

<Gayo> vecna was a swarthy pirate?   <McGrue> Indeed.   <McGrue> He has to mark 'Other' on the census, and fills in "Pirate: Swarthy" in the supplied field.

#114358 +(468)- [X]

(maddox@) I just thought of a joke, I don't know if someone has already made this up, but here it goes: What actor would Christopher Reeve be if he could trade places with anyone? Christopher Walken

#115960 +(1360)- [X]

* Dante changes topic to 'ChanServ can go suck a cock.'
* ChanServ changes topic to 'Fuck You'

#119542 +(328)- [X]

<BoneCollector> well americanisation is quite big in SA
<BoneCollector> all the youngsters hear want to be like the Americans, especially with the black kids
<mog> that's funny
<mog> all the white kids here want to be africans
<mog> who would have thought

#124517 +(139)- [X]

<M`> wtf is scat
<M`> i cant find it on google
<Insanity|sleep> Mikey.
<SoulWeef[a]r> Hang on
<M`> and i am eating a strawberry cream cicle so i fear clicking on any images
<Insanity|sleep> playing with shit.
<M`> oh duh
<SoulWeef[a]r> No
<SoulWeef[a]r> Eating shit
<M`> eating shit is nothing to me
<M`> WAIT!
<M`> omg. dont take that the wrong way

#218569 +(1116)- [X]

<[GSF]Pyronus> CAPSLOCK IS AUTOPILOT FOR COOL

#237400 +(508)- [X]

<|TripleH|> so.. where are all the bitches who wanna make me somethin to eat.=P
<epoch--> |TripleH|: they are having a meeting with all the bitches that want to sleep with you
<Elmyra> so far, the room is empty..
<lenoreo> all those folded chairs for nothing...
<Elmyra> but we're still hopeful that SOMEONE will show up. ..
<epoch--> or SOMETHING

#367188 +(664)- [X]

<Schitz02> its microsoft. they don't have bugs
<Schitz02> they have unpublished features
<Qooiii> like the function office calls randomly called void Randomly_Crash_And_Delete_Document(void)
<Schitz02> right, just like that one
<Qooiii> i wish they had at least made it predictable
<Qooiii> like the paperclip guy could pop up and say
<Qooiii> "it looks like word is going to crash. would you like to save your document?"

#452461 +(2515)- [X]

<Silent69> Hey did you take the $5 dollars that was sitting on my desk the last time you were here
<Cactus> Ya, the movie we rented wasnt rewound and they called me up saying I had to pay a stupid fee for not rewinding the damn thing. And I was on my way back to the video store so I might as well had paid it off.
<Silent69> Oh ok. Just wondering where it went.
<Cactus> no prob man, gtg, peace.
***Cactus has left the conversation***
<Silent69> peace
<Silent69> Wait a second,
<Silent69> WE RENTED A DVD!!!

#536591 +(1556)- [X]

IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online.
Eddie0235: Why?
IAn553: Cause they'll never find out.

#646776 +(3152)- [X]

Dr-Mambo:  so yeah
Dr-Mambo:  how about that <recent current event>
Dr-Mambo:  did you catch that <local sporting event> last weekend?
Willuknight:  no i missed <local sporting event> but i did manage to get to <recent current event> and it was pretty damm cool
Willuknight:  i met <person we both know> there as well, they were with some friends
Dr-Mambo:  oh thats just <emotive statement>
Willuknight:  <unecessary agreement>
Dr-Mambo:  well im going to go <masterbate furiously> to <lesbian pornogrophy>
Dr-Mambo:  <parting statement>
Willuknight:  <salutations>

#839563 +(1170)- [X]

[Bwafflz] <Veritas|jackals> if u know how to get ur dick out of a beer bottle (dont ask) PM ME plZ immeditately!!!!

#875134 +(609)- [X]

chickcorea1357: i was so high that the fractal elves started asking me what the hell I had been smoking

#945544 +(479)- [X]

<byron> So, I was cleaning up my email inbox
<byron> and found these half-naked pictures of this girl I used to go out with
<byron> so I texted her, joking: "Hey, found you lingerie pictures on my email account. If you would like me to return them just give me your email address again pls"
<byron> and she actually texts me back with her email and a "thanks for returning them!"
<byron> what a stupid bitch

0.0274 20982 quotes approved; 5762 quotes pending
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