#1011 +(1351)- [X]
<_bigd_> when I was a child I used to scrape the cream off all the oreos and make it into a ball ^_^
<_bigd_> and leave in the fridge
<_bigd_> after 2 bites, I used to pass out
#1327 +(551)- [X]
* Cybertrx is 5'3, 198 pounds, ugly, balding, highly skilled programmer. All my shirts are yellow with cumstains. I am seeking a tall, gorgeous, stunningly hot babe in her early 20s with an amazing rack and thick luxurious blond hair. /msg me
#1601 +(991)- [X]
<skatoni> will some one please help
<`NeXiGeN`> what's yer problem ?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<`NeXiGeN`> unplug yer modem
<`NeXiGeN`> see all those wires behind your computer box ?
<`NeXiGeN`> ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]:
Connection reset by peer)
#2929 +(571)- [X]
<neck> btw... bought an ice cream maker today :)
<qu4ntum> dont you mean a donut maker ?
<Lord-Data> very easy to get those confused ..
<neck> oh hell yeah
<neck> oh crap... it was a donut maker
#3199 +(294)- [X]
<atomic__> i wish i had a .no hostname so i could act stupid and no one would ever question why i acted the way i did
#3500 +(397)- [X]
<bdi> if you lookin' for sympathy, you better look between R and T in the fucking dictionary
#3618 +(582)- [X]
<establish> 16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like guys who are short, overweight, not good looking, and who are really into computers and video games/plus I have genital warts
#4257 +(888)- [X]
<dodge> fuck, thought somthing was wrong with my 's' key then, it kept repeating, looked down and it turns out i had my finger on it
#4783 +(247)- [X]
<cluelezz> ok... i'm in #bearcave... now what?
#6393 +(654)- [X]
<NyseriA> i just read a book i got for xmas
<NyseriA> its about a sea harrier pilot shot down in bosnia
<NyseriA> he is collected by a troops of SAS FACs
<NyseriA> and, let me recall, when they have to pull out he says...
<NyseriA> He smacks his SA80 down on the tabke
<NyseriA> and shouts
<Sureshot^> 'who fucking TKed me last round?'
#6951 +(227)- [X]
<glasnost> i didn't have a life.
<glasnost> i had a BBS.
#7571 +(583)- [X]
<foop> leif is having a party?
<foop> does he know that he's having a party?
<Chieze> of course not
<ross_> he will when the donkeys and cocaine show up
#8104 +(254)- [X]
<mrfy> "If you're a technology early adopter, but you're not in the first wave of 'bleeding edge' users, then you're on the scabby edge (where the bleeding edge has crusted over, but it's still raw)."
<Rascal> this is why johnny come latelies get picked on
#9102 +(256)- [X]
* Gygaxis breaks a carrier pigeon in half and removes a cryptic message from inside, along with his lucky lotto numbers
#14215 +(771)- [X]
<gaz> i don't think terrorists would be stupid enough to do anything on independence day anyway
<gaz> not after the aliens did it
#17115 +(267)- [X]
<felix> we're gonna start a band called "rsync", right?
<felix> OH BABY YOUR FILES ARE CHANGING BUT NO
MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T KEEP UP, SO I'M REARRANGING AND
TRYING CVSUP, BUT IT'S JUST NO GOOD. SO I SIT DOWN AND THINK....
THEN YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME AND GIVE ME RSYNC
#20007 +(377)- [X]
* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster
<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#23093 +(297)- [X]
<Clockwork> You know.. The complexity of an N64 controller and sensitivity of that analong stick, not to mention the hidden Z button, is alot like a woman..
<Dekan-> Except for the love and affection and sex. And tits. And vagina. Yeah I'd say it's pretty much the n64 controller...
#23182 +(17)- [X]
<[peepee]> Can I see your $me
#34173 +(179)- [X]
<xhg> we're not allowed to have dogs in our condo. But judging from some of the women present at the condo meeting, I'm not sure that bylaw is obeyed.
#41232 +(525)- [X]
<poserman>what is considered a long distance girlfriend?
<poserman>10, 15, 20 hops???
#44686 +(179)- [X]
<Abbazab> okay, next time ur with a chick and ur bumpin and grindin, give a nice rub right where the leg meets the croch and tell me that sweat doesnt smell like the back of ur nuts
<datagram`> why the fuck would you want to smell the back of your nuts while you're fucking
#44718 +(342)- [X]
<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union centre: priceless
#49242 +(134)- [X]
<whirlygig> Oh I know a lot of boys don't know how to aim.
<Deviation> i dont even bother trying anymore
<Deviation> ive converted into a sitter
#49573 +(175)- [X]
Ssecondstringr85: i love thanksgiving
TwilightKnight00: me 2
Ssecondstringr85: when the line between what you should eat and what you can eat is blurred
#50216 +(136)- [X]
<@Ixnorp> you better not even be THINKING talking trash about legos =P
<@Ixnorp> Kj mentioned Duplos which are like Legos for retarded children
<HermyCZ> nope. Legos are cool- you screaming out 'Legos' in ecstasy caught me off guard. ;P
<@Ixnorp> ohhh~~~ legos~~ oh oh OOOOH LEGOS!!!!! *spurt*
<Kjorteo> Hmm. If you think about it, you could make an interesting sex toy out of legos. You'd need to do something about the sharp jagged corners of the rectangular design, of course, but if you can take care of that, the bump things they have on the surface to put more legos on...hee, yeah. It's like the next step up from being ribbed. :-b
<@Ixnorp> Kj: but "dotted for her pleasure" doesnt exactly have the same ring
<Kjorteo> WHat's more important, the jingle or how the thing feels when it's stuffed inside you? ;b
#50266 +(277)- [X]
(after a netsplit which booted most of the channel)
<JeremiahSmith> Ha! Empty room!
* JeremiahSmith dances in his underwear.
* Just[AFK]Yin () Quit (Ping Timeout)
* Rhamphoryncus () Quit (Ping Timeout)
<JeremiahSmith> My dancing cannot be THAT bad.
* Kazriko () Quit (Ping Timeout)
<JeremiahSmith> Fine, fine. I can take a hint.
* JeremiahSmith stops dancing and covers his underwear.
#50540 +(160)- [X]
* BlueDust shudders as u tuch her wet pussy
* Voice-From-The-Toilet beats Seaker up with a power tool
* BlueDust (email@example.com) has left #5fm
<Voice-From-The-Toilet> heya blekwissird
<Seaker> Bluedust obviously had the wrong window open for that 1
#54393 +(45)- [X]
<Riku> The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to IRC and teach IRC in return.
#56017 +(655)- [X]
<@X-G> makes you wonder ...
<@X-G> why a penguin?
<@X-G> who invented tux?
<@X-G> and how did it become the linux symbol?
<@elver> there's a long story behind it...
<@elver> Torvalds loves penguins, one of them once bit him too at a zoo
<@elver> and that's basically it
<@X-G> story. too. long. can't. stay. awake.
#60996 +(383)- [X]
<Realfloat> why does gcc makes exe files?
<Apollo-> maybe because it's a compiler?
#62622 +(871)- [X]
<KBC> "Welcome to America. You can easily find someone to shoot you to put you out of your misery by screaming NIGGER anywhere if you're white"
<Goonigoogoo > and if you're black?
<KBC> scream out "I'M BLACK!" and some police will shoot you
#77012 +(289)- [X]
<Extigy> Ships are Long, Hard and full of sea men!
<blondee> i don't get it....
#80924 +(136)- [X]
<@fook> bush is like this >8|
<@fook> and saddam is like this 8-P
#84440 +(407)- [X]
*** Joins: azninvazn
[mcgruff] [mp3] abba - dancing queen @ 192 kbps
[owner] now playing: geri halliwell - it's rainin' men.mp3
[owner] you just got one-upped gruff
[azninvazn] i don't know how i mistyped '#513' as '#mp3sforqueers', but i'm getting the fuck out of here
*** Parts: azninvazn
#88332 +(328)- [X]
<lichen> hahah i love spic
<lichen> me and him have this special bond
<Avram> KY jelly is a lubricant, not an adhesive
#90152 +(538)- [X]
<mark_007> i was peeing before and i hear this shuffling outside the door, so i lift my leg and kick the door as hard as i can
<mark_007> and like i hear this bump, and an "OWW", so i really quickly finish up and open the door
<mark_007> my little brother's lying on the ground holding his head and writhing in pain
<mark_007> HE WAS LISTENING TO ME PEEING
#107434 +(223)- [X]
procrastination is like masturbation, it feels real good while your doing it, but in the end you realize your just screwing yourself/
#124804 +(341)- [X]
<Sopabuena> I will name my children after my testicles
<Sopabuena> Left and Right
<Mort> I don't think 'small' and 'smaller' are very good names.
#147563 +(42)- [X]
<WI-RaZ0r> ok fuck u bitch
<ArmedFred> The only thing insulting about that sentence was the terrible spelling
#163169 +(568)- [X]
<Time With A Wounded Hand> I'm downloading Naked Pictures Of Your Mother
<Jax184> shes 56
<Jax184> but whatever floats your boat
<Time With A Wounded Hand> It's a song.
<Time With A Wounded Hand> Electric Six - Naked Pictures Of Your Mother
#191097 +(48)- [X]
<DownKaos> dude I think free willy and tupac are hiding in cuba together
#239151 +(842)- [X]
<ColonelCoroner> Damn, my girlfriend just fucking confused herself in trying to use the calculator on her cell. Stupid bitch.
<Piro-nuts> ...dude, what did you expect from the peroxide-bleached blonde?
<ColonelCoroner> I dun fuckin know. She CALLED me on her cell, to ask how to USE the calculator on her cell.
<Piro-nuts> I think women are INNATELY stupid, that's the only reason to explain it.
<ColonelCoroner> Dude, with all this cloning and genome shit going around, there's gotta be a time when women will contain intelligent DNA.
<Piro-nuts> Yah, but like, 90% of them spit it out...
#447906 +(919)- [X]
LoCo643: if you masterbate to the same girl more then 10 times, it is ok to call them your girlfriend
LoCo643: its a rule
#582103 +(748)- [X]
(Sporq) i gotta take a linux.
(Blaxthos) don't forget to flush.
#627046 +(775)- [X]
<@generated> i wish i was dead
<@mehh_> generated: why? :(
<@mehh_> actually i really need to go...tell me some other time :)
#668041 +(592)- [X]
<ilius> I'm a canadian
<ilius> theyre sending me on a peacekeeping mission somewhere undisclosed as of yet
<sanzo> i think you mean "im going to try and stop a genocide in africa without weapons"
#673833 +(779)- [X]
<nmopal> Now if I had to follow a religion it would be whatever them clapping black people follow.
<nmopal> That looks fun.
#713015 +(-255)- [X]
<kunk> sigh i wish i had a piece of the shuttle to sell
<kunk> i should just bust up an air conditioner
<kunk> and be like "the cooling mechinism from the space shuttle!"
#925464 +(2148)- [X]
<yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend the other night....
<yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda.
<yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone.
<yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing. The timing on that was impeccable.