#67 +(-51)- [X]
<circle`> he's like, you, you and you, suck this
#149 +(546)- [X]
*** Quits: X-7 (irc.canadian-chicks-kick-ass.ca irc.usa-chicks-are-fat.com)
#311 +(608)- [X]
<Raider^> Hey there, i got this new version of mirc, i should be in invisible mode, if anyone can see my sentance please reply.
#540 +(94)- [X]
<hypr> i need jewcases or like paper or plastic things to put cds in :.
#998 +(254)- [X]
<Andy787> i dunno why people with sisters cant say they're hot, i know if i had a sister and she was hot, hell ied be all over her, lol
#1541 +(427)- [X]
<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about 35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look 'distinguished'.
<Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.
#1855 +(539)- [X]
<hoset-> what's the server info for defunkt?
<DTOX> 188.8.131.52 - port 21 - anonymous
<hoset-> thanks much
<DTOX> if that doesn't work it's because I gave you your own IP #
#2410 +(1819)- [X]
(cooey) my cat eats meat. my cat eats timbits. my cat eats celery. my cat eats my weed. my cat eats bits of paper and hair that look like food. my cat =wont= eat a piece of a burger out of a big mac.
(cooey) i should learn from my cat.
#2819 +(274)- [X]
<neck> i no longer wear tshirts
<neck> oh, wtf am i talking about, i have on on as i speak
#4618 +(24)- [X]
<Toen[hw]> so when you inherited one and a half x and half a y, you realized "Oooh, that little timmy kid's got a tight ass"
#5876 +(241)- [X]
<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"
#6607 +(437)- [X]
<niff|n> why do you have so much porn Greebo?
<Greebo> 'cos i like masturbating, niffin.
#8543 +(6)- [X]
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken\w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken|w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy
#9360 +(200)- [X]
<[DeViL]Hawk> dammit u sothern punk my mums rich i looked at the price list
<FanBoy|Away> er? your mum is on a price list...figures
#10975 +(310)- [X]
<GreyPawn> My friend Dan once woke up screaming because his nuts got twisted around each other.
#13841 +(545)- [X]
<yrlnry> When was 'O Canada' introduced? Must have been
pretty recently---maybe in the 1960's?
<ignatz> "A Canada" through "N Canada" were failures. Then
MacKenzie MacKenzie, a defrocked Mountie from Lard Heights,
Alberta, had a flash of inspiration one day while drinking
<ignatz> The rest is history.
#15000 +(408)- [X]
#22068 +(254)- [X]
<Mephistol> burn in hell
<Mephistol> i went to http://legionofgimps.apt103.net/images/
<Mephistol> and my mom came in
<Mephistol> and it had 'GAY PORN GAY PORN' etc all over the screen
<Mephistol> its not a problem, if your parents dont think you're gay
<Mephistol> my parents think i'm gay
<Mephistol> and i imagine this didn't help
#28226 +(355)- [X]
<Threeboy> don't use it ever when i'm in here please.
<_3D_Mike|work> use what?
<Threeboy> "nigger" it's fucking rascist.
<JonM> I am not racisct
<JonM> it was easier to type then african american
#32508 +(434)- [X]
<Uncle_Istavan> I had some friends once but they keep leaving me
#43550 +(88)- [X]
<Ryan_Singer> hello everyone...GOP took GA too
<Ryan_Singer> first republican governor since 1872
<waffle[out]> time to enter my bunker and ride out the next 2 years
<waffle[out]> please god let bush not be president when I leave it
<Ryan_Singer> The place I interned at last summer might not exist next summer
<Ryan_Singer> The Georgia Technology Authority, the new governor said on the radio he wants it gone
#44851 +(167)- [X]
<Nope> I wonder if IRCops know what a wingate is?
*** Quits: Nope (Nope@sju-12-16-46-200.prw.net) (Killed (OperServ))
#46672 +(666)- [X]
<@elver> well, some relatives came over on sunday, brought some peanut butter
<@elver> and on that peanut butter, there's a label: "25% less fat than peanut butter"
<@elver> and just under that there was "peanut butter" as the product type
<@elver> so i've been puzzled for two days now - wtf is it? it cant be peanut butter and yet it claims to be and tastes as shitty as peanut butter
<@elver> it's like one of those questions, "if a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around, will it make a sound"
<@X-G> like, a koan?
<@elver> i mean, i look at that label and i wonder - if this is peanut butter and it has 25% less fat than peanut butter then is it really peanut butter?
<@elver> a koan?
<@X-G> yah, koan.
<@X-G> A puzzling, often paradoxical statement or story, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
<@elver> so Buddha likes peanut butter then i guess
<@elver> that peanut butter is my spiritual guide from now on
#48782 +(298)- [X]
<Kevyn> I lent my friend money last nite so he could get a lap dance from a stripper. And he just said to me on AIM, "hey, thanks for the lap dance"
<Kevyn> I'm so glad people can't overhear conversations on AIM.
#49131 +(174)- [X]
<PACHUKA> dude, this chick is so fat, "ribbed for her pleasure" means masturbating with a waffle
#49514 +(339)- [X]
*** Malach has changed the topic on #nz to If your parents get divorced, are they still cousins?
<lower> Shouldn't it be "If your parents get divorced, are you still your own cousin?"
<Malach> lower - you inbreed your way, I'll inbreed mine.
#50087 +(562)- [X]
<Gartt> 60% of girls first kiss is with another girl
<LatinoReheat> that is a most sexy statistic
#55380 +(628)- [X]
<Xerox> ...Oh god. Nintendo gave me a preview DVD of apparently quite a lot of their games. I have no DVD player. I do, however, have a PS2. CAN ANYONE SEE THE IRONY HERE!?
#62413 +(91)- [X]
<bunyip> if you can put yourself in situations where you meet new people that won't hurt
<SporkAndrew> ...become a cult leader
<Lethe> you'll definitely meet some desperate people there :p
<SporkAndrew> just make sure you get them to drink the poisoned kool-aid first... then they're all fair game...
#63352 +(81)- [X]
<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now
<Spacer> she works as a teacher
<Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo
<Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean
<Spacer> so she went to the head of year
<Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes
<Spacer> but they were all clean still
<Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out
<Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside
<Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor
<Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl
<Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean
<Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out"
<Spacer> so she walks off
<Spacer> and the smell goes
<Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom
<Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties"
<Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old :P
#68807 +(207)- [X]
<^catalyst> we're a bunch of geeks, we collectively know everything.
<WhiteyFord> yeah.. some of us even know how to get laid
<Redback> im sure a large majority know how WhiteyFord
<Redback> its just some strugle with the prerequsites
#69709 +(29)- [X]
*** Quits: Columbia (Connection reset by atmosphere)
#78507 +(136)- [X]
<@Stakker> argh. our CTO just came from Game Designers Convention in the US. our games are too complicated for americans. they're asking for one-button conversions :-D
#103483 +(116)- [X]
<Rocket> nothing gay about predicting the size of a mans cock
#107428 +(297)- [X]
<gwb> qu:230; [23|30] <trunks> thanks to you and your advice [23|31] <trunks> i have a bandaid on my balls [23|31] <trunks> fucker. [23|31] <trunks> and i clogged my shower drain
<gwb> lmao @ the clogged shower
<Shreds> what the
<Gold> he shaved his nutsack?
* trunks has joined #drifters
* Shreds hands trunks a mach3
* trunks has left #drifters
#119869 +(346)- [X]
<Kilroy> gods, I'm dating myself again
<MPG> at least you only have to get one person drunk to have sex.
#136534 +(5059)- [X]
<Raven> Come, boy wonder! We shall rid the world of crime!
<monkeymilk> yes! together we will thwart evil-doers and criminals alike!
<Raven> To the batcave!
<monkeymilk> wait, my download just finished
<monkeymilk> 20 minutes of gun point rape
<monkeymilk> or so the description says
* monkeymilk is away - away
<Raven> ...Maybe he's trying to think up ways to save the girl. =/
<Robocop> he never said girl, could be two guys
<Raven> So, Robocop, are you prepared to clense the world of evil in the name of justice, as my trusty sidekick?
<Robocop> no i'm busy trying to find a good site for making a pipe-bomb
* Raven is starting to think IRC isn't the best place to start his superhero campaign.
#214476 +(197)- [X]
<@ImmenseMalevolentCanisLupis> Linux is like a pair of boxers without the tag cut off. So free but so uncomfortable.
#236900 +(580)- [X]
<Serafijn> what's that film with the ship and the ghosts?
<Serafijn> oh yeah
#277857 +(-286)- [X]
<Vampirate> Wow, I maxxed out the mem card in my camera for the first time today
<Vampirate> My daughters dance team was performing in the state/national dance championships today.
#334887 +(1609)- [X]
atty: my face hurts
Chester: why is that
atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist
atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and took one
atty: and i go, DAMN WOMEN... ALWAYS STEALING A RIB FROM US MEN
atty: so she slapped me
#416187 +(129)- [X]
<Ev> wow my roommates and i are so lazy, instead of gettting up and going to the other's room to say good night we IM each other good night that;s the Epitome of digital dependence
#445230 +(360)- [X]
<CrazyMAC> i wish i liked whiskey
<CrazyMAC> then i could drink it and stop shaving and look tough
#574196 +(1769)- [X]
Sanjuro Makabe: btw remember what you made up about something like the 7 layer protocol of the network or something?
Sanjuro Makabe: application, presentation, session, transport, network, datalink, physical
Sanjuro Makabe: i remember you made up something nasty to remember those by...i forgot what it was
Saem: a pussy so tight no dick penetrates
#636215 +(1359)- [X]
<KittieRose> So I get this email from this girl.
<KittieRose> "I made out with a chick and got mono..."
<KittieRose> I email her back.
<KittieRose> "If you'd have made out with two chicks, would you have gotten stereo?"
#638276 +(146)- [X]
mattysteppo: tony its my bday
Agregz82: is it?
mattysteppo: i'm 42
Agregz82: happy bday man
Agregz82: im gettin 2 teeth pulled today... so uhhhh thats your present
mattysteppo: put em on a necklace for me
#732717 +(379)- [X]
<blazeboy>you dont have to be willing
<blazeboy>only unwilling to file charges
#737432 +(475)- [X]
<Sin> MICHAEL JACKSON DIED TODAY!
<Vincent> WHAT!? how?
<Sin> acute food poisoning
<Sin> he ate some 12 year old nuts
#742745 +(418)- [X]
<SWTrilman> i'm not huge into porn
<Draken> my porn interests, no punning here, come and go
<SWTrilman> i used to be into it
<SWTrilman> i guess i just got over it
<Draken> but she looks so sweet and cute and wholesome... and then she's masturbating to turtles
<SWTrilman> or something
<Draken> eh, you get burned out on porn
<Draken> you either distance yourself for the most part, or seek out more and more extreme porn to fill the gaping hole in yourself.
<Draken> then you get arrested for raping a sheep while wearing a Spiderman costume
#762681 +(643)- [X]
dmwit: You know, my first year at college they gave me a whistle.
dmwit: They told me it was a rape whistle.
dmwit: But no matter how hard I blew, I never got raped. =(