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#1048 +(1007)- [X]

<DooD> <31hp 102m 60mv> You start fighting A mouse.
<DooD> A mouse ducks to the ground, narrowly avoiding your strike!
<DooD> A mouse skillfully dodges your assault.
<DooD> A mouse is in excellent condition.
<DooD> <31hp 102m 60mv>
<DooD> A mouse strikes you with terminal brutality!
<DooD> You are stunned, but will probably recover.
<DooD> wtf was that
<timmo> well
<timmo> a mouse whooped your ass

#2095 +(865)- [X]

<JDigital> We need our own Dance 4.14 bot.
<JDigital> *Dancer
<MrSede> A dance bot..?
<MrSede> Do a random Kirby dance every few minutes?
<MrSede> ..while telling the weather
<Brentai> <(^_^<) (>^_^)>  It's fucking hot!
<MrSede> Forecast for today will be cloudy [*bust a move*] with a slight chance of [*booty shakin*] rain
<MrSede> If the weatherman were more like that I'd watch the News more often

#3021 +(157)- [X]

<ric> METHOD=DRINK ACTION=CHATUPUGLYWOMEN TARGET=MYBED

#6773 +(170)- [X]

<jabroni77> ANY FEMALES NOT BLOND 120 POUNDS AND MODEL LIKE??? ON THE NET?

#7711 +(430)- [X]

<sc1> the video was compressed at 5fps
<sc1> jesus this sucks
<asmodius> Jesus can't help with sucky frame rates. Trust me on that one.
<asmodius> He's pretty useless when it comes to video compression rates.

#7903 +(7)- [X]

<S|Foo2rama> Don't make me go GTA III on your ass

#8427 +(42)- [X]

<Nex> Damn it I feel ill since I told that window cleaner bloke I didnt want to buy any cleaning fluid
<Nex> I bet he was a gypo and now I am cursed

#8634 +(67)- [X]

<gord> i dont like you
<gord> and if i met your mom i probly woudlnt like her either

#10767 +(1014)- [X]

<angie> yea, finally finished moving all my stuff in today.
<guyen> can't be that bad, she's pretty hot.  i could tap dat azz all day
<guyen> godamn i need a picture of her so i can at least jerk off to it
<angie> isn't she in your class, just stare at her with your photographic memory.
<guyen> believe me i do, she's got an azzzzzzz
<angie> she's also right behind me.
<guyen> are you serious?
<angie> yea.  she says you're pretty cute too.  says you should have the balls to ask her out though.
<guyen> um, will you go out with me?
<angie> she says yes.  pick her up tomm 7:30 after her evening class, she wants to see kate and leopold or whatever.
<guyen> are you kidding me?  holy shit!  im calling your house now
<angie> no i'm just fucking with you.
<guyen> your're a bitch you know that
<angie> i know.

#11115 +(85)- [X]

<@brosie    > you know what sucks
<@brosie    > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie    > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie    > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie    > and you get gangrene
<@brosie    > in your nuts

#11694 +(17)- [X]

<Yogurt> Well, I'm glad I went out of my way come to this bustling suburb of Gay City!
<Yogurt> hehe
<Yogurt> hehehe
* Yogurt writes that down

#12027 +(332)- [X]

<Dreadnaut> i used to write poems about suicide and shit
<KrON> i did poems about cheese and stuff

#12232 +(181)- [X]

<Konsole> I believe we both know the english language equally.. I may not use it very well in day to day conversations but I know much big words.

#14775 +(152)- [X]

<webba> A movie doesn't have to have 3 gay guys talking about bagels to be good.

#15517 +(24)- [X]

<RadAghazt> Two British guys in a plane from the UK to the US set off terrorist alarms by their strange behaviour.
<RadAghazt> They were smoking crack and locked themselves into the bathroom to have sex several times during the flight.

#18137 +(160)- [X]

<MofieJoe> if that really is wabby's sister
<MofieJoe> he should think about fucking her

#20433 +(195)- [X]

<Horus-23m> Hello. I am a 23 year old male, with a biology degree. I'm currently involved in the construction industry and will be getting involved in supervision, as well as running jobs which will earn me a lot of money. I'm athletic, strong, intelligent, and fairly good looking. Why do you care? Well most of you won't and will just mock this, but one of you might, and that one, can message me..

#26282 +(251)- [X]

<Tirael> wtf is a haemophiliac?
<Tirael> someone who has sex w/ blood??

#32231 +(18)- [X]

<Sk8rDiE>  So I was trying to get up the bleachers,
<Sk8rDiE>  And this real ugly filipino girl wouldn't move
<Icarus>  heh
<Sk8rDiE>  So I'm like "'scuse me"
<Sk8rDiE>  and she just sits there, staring.
<Sk8rDiE>  So i was like "Bitch, Don't make me bust out the ethnic slurs!"
<Icarus>  ahahahahahaha
<Sk8rDiE>  I don't think she understood the dialect.

#36635 +(46)- [X]

<Inferi0r> sean, hrm, i cant buy "getting laid" on ebay
<Sean> "your search for 'getting laid' returned 0 results, please check later

#36985 +(223)- [X]

*** Mixico (~majin_Dus@217.17.239.10) has joined #slipknot
<Mixico>  I`m Using  Tri Script
<kiwiman>  I Don't  Care
<Mixico> @@
<Mixico> I CARE
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Mixico
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Mixico
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Mixico
<kiwiman> Three times the power!
<kiwiman> And fuck.

#40577 +(77)- [X]

<Suparmono> its a dilemma, i dont ask girls out. No, there is only one way to go about this
<tynka> oerr.. and what's that?
<Suparmono> NONCONCENTUAL INTERCOURSE
<Suparmono> except spell consent with an S

#42797 +(189)- [X]

<conZ> how do i connect LED's to the pc ?
<phaxx> stick it in your floppy drive. make sure you insert the cathode pin first or you'll melt the led
<conZ> will make sure of that
<phaxx> good
<conZ> fuck
<conZ> it doesnt work

#43843 +(326)- [X]

<Akasha> have you tried kicking the pc?
<Wither> of course. first thing i did..

#45419 +(393)- [X]

<Spazz> I want to find a girl who is not afraid of dating a geek guy.
<Spazz> You know... one that says "Oh, I don't care if I can't bring him out in public...   he's got big junk!"
<StalkerofurSoul> "I dont care if hes ugly and has pimples, did you see that quake win loss ratio?"
<StalkerofurSoul> he's got the finest c++ ive ever set my eyes on
<StalkerofurSoul> omfg, and we was sitting there... and he pulled it out, and i asked if i could see it.... and he let me hold it....a wireless mouse! what will they think of next!

#49095 +(49)- [X]

<cbf> *dances* My nerdiness is now complete, I just said "rofl" in real life.
<smega84> cbf did u actually say rofl or role on floor laughing?
<cbf> [smega84]: "rofl"
<smega84> cbf AWESOME
<smega84> ur transfer is COMPLETE :)

#60361 +(1317)- [X]

<[zc]snuggles> my sister is 13
<[zc]snuggles> I found porn on her compueter =/
<[asm]ryan> man porn?
<[zc]snuggles> NO AND TAHTS THE THING
<[zc]snuggles> LESBO PORN
<[asm]ryan> HAHAHAH
<[zc]snuggles> hell I copied it to my computer before deleting it

#63085 +(160)- [X]

<ecoli> my cock is so big whenever i try to stick it in a girl, it overwrites EIP and she core dumps on my bed. :(

#73184 +(659)- [X]

<B-Love>:  Where the fuck did all the forks go?
<Fect>:  I ate them.
<B-Love>:  Why the fuck did you eat a fork?
<Fect>: What, you've never had the urge to eat plastic-ware?
<B-Love>:  YES, BUT I DON'T EAT THE LAST ONE!

#74637 +(14)- [X]

Tom says:  It got frightening quite a few times.
Tom says:  Eh, it was a learning experience. 
Ash072 says: I see...do you still feel bad about knocking up the retarded chick?
Ash072 says: hello?
Tom says:Oh, sorry.
Tom says:Which one? 
Ash072 says:  That's my boy...can't even remember all the retarded chicks he'
Ash072 says:  he's slept with
Tom says:  Hey, if they don't remember, neither will I.
Ash072 says:  Thank god for that drug!

#75793 +(299)- [X]

<+DrPoole> my muscles are huge since i became a gym fag
* thom cannot make that statement any funnier, so he keeps his mouth shut for a change. :)

#82191 +(227)- [X]

onuap: good morning
bochip: morning onuap
Blitzsama: good? why does everyone assume the other guy is having a good morning?
onuap: bad morning for you then
bochip: he was wishing you a good one
bochip: for some reason
Blitzsama: i know
Blitzsama: i was wishing he would stop, as it 10 pm here
bochip: but, you would like to have a good morning tomorrow, yes?
Blitzsama: maybe...
Blitzsama: let me sleep on it.

#86683 +(454)- [X]

<Resident_Redneck> The Canadians commited three warships, 1000 soldiers, and 10 tanks to the war effort...but due to the exchange rate, it works out to be a mountie, a moose, and a flying sqirrel.

#101268 +(682)- [X]

<Abstruse> I personally like graveyard shifts better...I'm a night owl by nature...
<Abstruse> Besides, the morning shift there is 6 AM to 2 PM...those are the hours I'm usually sleeping.
<phoxleep> 6 AM
<phoxleep> wtf is 6 AM
* phoxleep has never seen 6 AM
<Abstruse> phox: 6 AM = bedtime.  You know, when that big lamp outside the window starts to turn on?  You DO know about the Big Room outside the house, right?
<Abstruse> phox: You know, the Big Room you go to when you have to go buy more food and stuff?
<phoxleep> the big room is sorta cool
<phoxleep> but doom 3 has better shaders damnit
<Abstruse> I hate the big room when the lamp's on...
<jastity> Abstruse: I have my groceries delivered to my Big Room, I order them online.
<Abstruse> They need to fix the air conditioner out there.
<Abstruse> jastity: I meant McDonalds.
<Abstruse> Or Taco Bell or Jack in the Box or whatever.
<phoxleep> Abstruse: why hasn't greenpeace given them shit about leaving it on?
<phoxleep> it's a waste of power damnit
<Abstruse> phox: Something about it using solar energy I think.

#101354 +(72)- [X]

<Tarrasque> damm it.. fucken waiting for my GF to get home... I an so fucken bored
<toxik> i usually cant wait for my gf to leave..

#113949 +(211)- [X]

<ph0rce> this is like turning into a war
<ph0rce> back like vietnam
<ph0rce> INCOMING NETSPLIT! GET THE FUCK DOWN
<ph0rce> INCOMING BOGIES INCOMING BOGIES
<ph0rce> RETURN FIRE
<ph0rce> *dos attack*

#182816 +(2403)- [X]

<pixistix> I like sending out messages in a bottle.
<pixistix> But I'm creative.
<pixistix> "I have been shipwrecked at sea, while bringing an important message."
<pixistix> "Do not, under any circumstances, allow President Kennedy to go to Dallas"

#199421 +(478)- [X]

<tinman> Do you put antlers on your pussy?
<tinman> er
<tinman> that wasn't for this channel

#216908 +(537)- [X]

<Pedingto> I find this job can be real hell at times.
<Pedingto> When this UBER-FIT woman came in
<Pedingto> and purchased many packs of condoms.
<Pedingto> I so wanted to ask her if she heard our try before you buy policy >:)
<Etheria_Dawn> LOL!

#337295 +(2329)- [X]

<[UA]lavalamp> I was playing chutes and ladders with my 4-year-old son...when he won, he jumped up, pointed at me, and shouted "pwned!"

#397151 +(188)- [X]

<psychonate> A Mac is like a prostitute.
<psychonate> Sure they look good, but your wallet will feel a lot lighter after getting one.

#459063 +(720)- [X]

<taap> there is no such thing as .ng domain
<`naut> What's Nigeria?
<AcidX> .poor

#564774 +(1938)- [X]

<narg> So my sister is about to enter college, and she was telling everyone her room number - 404.
<narg> Then one day, she was looking at a college letter with my parents, and she's like crap, my room number is 414!
<narg> Reflexivly, I said if people went there, they would be like 404: Julie not found.
<narg> No one even looked my way ;(

#627406 +(773)- [X]

<SwampFox> my way of determining the validity of a holiday is where I am at 9:00 AM
<SwampFox> if I'm in bed, it's good
<SwampFox> if I'm in Physics, it's a Hallmark holiday

#654091 +(344)- [X]

<Zahava> <3<3happy valentines everybody!!<3<3
<@Silva> Roses are Red
<@Silva> Violets are Blue
<@Silva> i could never love you
<@Silva> because you're 1/16 jew
* Zahava has quit IRC (quit: )

#661344 +(814)- [X]

<miro> ramiro@calcifer:/etc$ ping www.thepiratebay.org
<miro> PING www.thepiratebay.org (83.140.176.146) 56(84) bytes of data.
<miro> 64 bytes from hey.mpaa.and.apb.bite.my.shiny.metal.ass.thepiratebay.org (83.140.176.146): icmp_seq=1 ttl=48 time=358 ms

#705670 +(261)- [X]

<ComputerNap> if you burn something at a lower speed, it doesn't read slower, does it?

#758669 +(221)- [X]

<sharquedo> I'm a zombie, braiiinnnssssss
<DemonHeart> I'm homeless, chaaannnggeeeee

#830566 +(-86)- [X]

<dubkat> i just ran a traceroute from me, to my my box at my sisters house. it travels the frackin east cost before arriving.
<dubkat> rediculous. (she only lives up the street)
<hohum> dubkat: I'd like to see a traceroute like that
<hohum> I want to be fondly reminded of my days of using NTT/Verio as a transit provider
<hohum> them cats were like an ISP chop shop
<hohum> they steal your ISP, chop it up and bolt it on to some shitty souped up japanese hosting company

#847598 +(1687)- [X]

Amul Muzz said:
Why do I get the feeling that this is really a mob, just waiting for someone to say something they do not agree with?
chrismjr said:
That's the best description for the internet I've ever heard

0.0404 20954 quotes approved; 4422 quotes pending
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