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#65 +(115)- [X]

<LEONARDO> EMINEM < PUBERTY

#4044 +(248)- [X]

<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at least once per day.   Hmmm... I'm about due....  I'll be back in 10..

#4440 +(29)- [X]

<Psylent> looks like I've got what it takes to climb the IRC social ladder

#5415 +(596)- [X]

<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch it twice tho

#7226 +(409)- [X]

<Stray> you're a winner. i'm a winner. we're all winners here.
<KurtBatz> Everyone's a winner baby, that's the truth.  o/~
<Hawx> I have to go to fucking work tomorrow. I'm not a winner.
<Hawx> I'm just a breadwinner.
<Hawx> But who the fuck wants to work for bread?
<KurtBatz> Ethiopians.
<Hawx> True

#7943 +(59)- [X]

<Neptune^> ok you jackasses..just cause im drunk doesnt mean the discussion has to degrade to high schools

#10223 +(30)- [X]

<luminosity> No wait... I can do better than that. they should develop a
             neural connection so I can sit here and not even have to move.
<martinb> sure. Can it write this requirements spec I'm working on, too?
<luminosity> Why the hell not?
<luminosity> While it's at it it can do my homework so I can concentrate on
             fun stuff.
<martinb> so get working on it!
<martinb> no, wait, recusion
<martinb> damn

#12752 +(19)- [X]

<sneak> do you use gnutella?
<satman> no i use mirc

#14572 +(177)- [X]

<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow

#23363 +(-63)- [X]

<vroom_vroom> my mom got fired this morning
<sXr> does she work for a telecommunications company?

#25503 +(1156)- [X]

<infinitySPZ> Pong is probably the best designed shooter game in the world.
<infinitySPZ> It's the only one that is made so that if you camp, you die.

#32082 +(1475)- [X]

<Farrod> One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
<Farrod> I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass.

#32509 +(1154)- [X]

<Chelly> What is your biggest fear?
<JasonRene> living long enough to become isolated from anyone who cares about me, and then dying alone.
<Chelly> :(
<JasonRene> You asked  ;)
<Chelly> I know
<Chelly> I was expecting something like spiders.

#32966 +(675)- [X]

* sarah13 is now known as sarah14
<ircbuddy> Happy e-Birthday.

#42009 +(484)- [X]

<cheesewad> I want to take nunchuck lessons so when I go to jail I can bust out with the soap on a roap and beat up all those ass fuckers.
<Allen4> What are you going to jail for?
<cheesewad> stealing soap on a rope.

#42118 +(420)- [X]

<ThaiLand> what time is it ?
<@nimper> tool time
<ThaiLand> thx

#46986 +(436)- [X]

<+jadedragon> so are any of you boys going to talk to me?
<@neotek> do you have nude pics?
<+jadedragon> nope
<@neotek> then probably not.

#47430 +(132)- [X]

<Pigsbig78> my chat up line is "awk chmod grep"
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: mine is 'omg, you whore, someone chmod a+x your-vagina'
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: omg, you bitch! mv possessions outside; chown %n car; chmod 600 car; echo 'int main(void) { printf("x25sn", "haha, you bitch!!n"); }' > meep.c; gcc meep.c -o meep; ./meep

#47716 +(72)- [X]

<@blkhawk^^> i dont cyber
<@blkhawk^^> its a waste of a wrist
<@Duce> are you saying you double-fist it?

#50120 +(11)- [X]

( shamoun )  lol, please don't root me
( shamoun )  hey, i have a question
( shamoun )  if im logged into root, is there some way i can do something like su to login to another user and then launch xchat
( shamoun )  i don't want to have to leave xfce
( shamoun )  well, now you all know im logged in as root. goodbye

#52022 +(324)- [X]

redpoint13: brb
MoRgAn4978: k
redpoint13: back
MoRgAn4978: that was fast
redpoint13: yea i pee in a bucket near my desk

#56167 +(409)- [X]

<Krypt|LOTR2> i was given 200 dollars to survive a month alone while the rest of my family went to dominican republic
<Krypt|LOTR2> i blew half of that on games
<Krypt|LOTR2> and didnt eat for like 2 weeks
<Krypt|LOTR2> i lost alot of weight

#56808 +(142)- [X]

<SJr|Tecra> Someone say something to take my mind off the pain.
<wizer> just pleasure your self you will feel better
* wizer brb
<arrow|> probably going to take his own advice

#60568 +(-47)- [X]

<decay`> wanna know whats good about 12 year olds, you put them in a shower and slck there hair.. it makes them look 8

#61085 +(236)- [X]

<Oolong> <Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet = convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning, and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know jack about you
<Oolong> he forgot convinced they're japanese
<Oolong> "aya, Britney Spears no kawaii desu nyo! ^O^^^O^O^^O^"

#76044 +(183)- [X]

<Sean> i'm addicted to just feeling my iPod, holding it and twiddling the buttons
<Mike> omfg
<Sean> such a neat little thing
<Mike> You know you're a nerd when you have a fetish for your mp3 player

#80870 +(286)- [X]

<Dragon> argh, is there anything in life but school? Oh sure! There's the complaning about school, the brief periods of unconciousness at night, and sweet sweet death..

#84294 +(76)- [X]

<Numloxx> hmmm, wonder if i should have chinese tonight
<Numloxx> yeah... a bit of shaved asian would feel good :)
<Numloxx> i mean.. umm... sweet and sour pork..
<Numloxx> wait.. i meant.. umm.. satay chicken and fried rice :)

#85998 +(303)- [X]

[@cOoke]: If there were a building that stood for average intelligence, you would be the plane that crashed into it

#98432 +(1132)- [X]

<WrmSlayer> The AI in the matrix got it all wrong
<WrmSlayer> they should have just used cows instead of humans
<WrmSlayer> no chance of rebelion
<Reverend> yeah
<Reverend> stupid AI
<WrmSlayer> and the mootrix would have just been a big sunny infinite field of grass

#125229 +(562)- [X]

<Scummder> well thats great. I get to spend about 5 minutes playing gamecube before my mother appears from nowhere and tells me to do more mowing.
<bile> think of your mother as an endboss and destroy her.

#127667 +(1066)- [X]

<Uberkommando> i keep all my songs in "E:ClearlyNotPiratedMedia"
<Uberkommando> that should keep the RIAA off my trail for a while

#142960 +(1396)- [X]

<RikI> Havent had sex in sooooooo long
<RikI> It's gotten to the point where i masturbate thinking of other times i masturbated.
<Vorm> ...

#167863 +(1437)- [X]

<jaymeekae> i feel so american
<Moonman> you shot someone?

#196573 +(559)- [X]

Manghuntr9: i am taking a piece of KRAFT cheese to church with me in the hopes that i can get an extra piece of jesus and make a sandwich

#219686 +(490)- [X]

<harlequin> shut the fuck up
<harlequin> all of you make me fucking sick
<JewBagel> Im sorry
<harlequin> what has irc become
<JewBagel> ...I like bacon if that helps at all.

#224449 +(494)- [X]

finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo
finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit
Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle
finacosa: awww now it's on
Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle, bitchizzle
finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass
Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next monizzile
finacosa: ?
Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle
finacosa: hahaizzle
Nerosan2k: lolizzle
finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people

#246190 +(825)- [X]

<@FirebirdGM> What a gayass question. This is on my Chemistry Homework.
<@FirebirdGM> 'If x = 4, What is x equal to?'
<Trispectz> LOL
<@FirebirdGM> How the hell does that relate to HydroCarbons. That isn't even a real question.
<@FirebirdGM> Damn stoner teacher.

#274388 +(2081)- [X]

#277857 +(-282)- [X]

<Vampirate> Wow, I maxxed out the mem card in my camera for the first time today
<Vampirate> My daughters dance team was performing in the state/national dance championships today.

#281238 +(745)- [X]

<seisan> New hacking tool: chocolate
<seisan> A survey of office workers in London found that almost three quarters would reveal their network-access password in exchange for a bar of chocolate.
<Echo|Fox> The same survey also revealed that 84% of male respondants would give up their bank PIN code for a blow job.

#349567 +(16092)- [X]

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

#394480 +(1114)- [X]

<@NeoMinder> Hey cloud! Get off my you!
<nightrunner> You ate paint chips as a kid, didn't you?
<@NeoMinder> you mean wall candy?

#512736 +(3092)- [X]

omgsean123: so anyway, heisenberg is speeding down the street and he gets pulled over by a cop
omgsean123: and the cop is like "do you know how fast you were going?"
omgsean123: and he says "no, but i know exactly where i am!"

#714697 +(1611)- [X]

<Daniel> The new bash quotes suck
<Nictheman> You realise if this goes on bash, you'll be part of the new quotes, and will therefore suck?
<Daniel> ..
<Daniel> Fuck you.

#768708 +(880)- [X]

Lbreevesii: You know you are a geek when you're surfing porn and start noticing things like the thermaltake pc case, custom speakers, and external hard drive on the desk behind the action.

#831458 +(1459)- [X]

evilada: damn girls are too confusing about what they want from guys
lantern: Well they certainly know what they dont want
lantern: see now i'm tall, but not athletic, i don't have a full head of hair
lantern: so bam three strikes
evilada: girls dont work like baseball
evilada: if they did, everyone would cheer if you stole second base when no one was looking
evilada: and thats the complete opposite of what happens, trust me

#839758 +(620)- [X]

<gaarie> who the fuck names a lake winnipesaukee
<DX|laptop> indians
<ch> yep
<gaarie> truth
<DX|laptop> and not the tech support kind
<ch> the casino kind

#875655 +(2595)- [X]

<rizerz> A Japanese doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we
<rizerz> can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him
<rizerz> looking for work in six weeks.'
<rizerz> A German doctor said, 'That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one
<rizerz> person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
<rizerz> A British doctor said, 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we
<rizerz> can take half of a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have
<rizerz> them both looking for work in two weeks.'
<rizerz> A Texas doctor, not to be outdone said, 'You guys are way behind.  We
<rizerz> took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House, and
<rizerz> now half the country is looking for work.

#921418 +(716)- [X]

<+Merrick> Ugh
<+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow...
<+Merrick> I hate my fucking job
<+Merrick> I HATE IT
<+FDR> are you a priest?
<+Merrick> No an altar boy

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