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#40 +(-75)- [X]

<WiLD_> my lele is at attention

#813 +(137)- [X]

<Boricua> any one know if there is a psx emulator that emulates burned cd's?

#1770 +(372)- [X]

<whoreee> i just ordered the explosion self titled CD single?
<Weeve> what's it called?

#2258 +(940)- [X]

<davidks> there's this girl in my evolution inf. diseases class.. she has enormous tits.. they are monster tits.. seriously.. well she wore this shirt that said, across her chest: "Hey! I'm up here! (Arrow pointing up)"
<davidks> I thought that was pretty funny.
<davidks> i told her i had the same problem and she laughed .. but that's all i could say to her because her boobs intimidated me

#2792 +(610)- [X]

<pupkick> 37?
<devinfo> i heard 37 is any 3 digit multiple of 37, when the digits are cyclicly permutated is still divisible by 37, ie: 37*13 = 481, 148/37 = 4, 37*11 = 407, 740/37 = 20, or oddly enough, this works in other bases too... 0x37 * 0x19 = 0x55F. 0xF55 / 0x37 = 0x47, or you sucked 37 dicks?

#3052 +(783)- [X]

<WillaCuz> shervin did u say u had a woman?
<shervin> WillaCuz: yeah but its losing pressure, i think it has a hole or something

#3332 +(13)- [X]

<spazzer> i've found out that the longer the muffler body is, the quieter the exhaust is
<spicrx7> duh spazz
<spicrx7> that's like saying...
<spicrx7> i've found out that the fatter the girl is, the more she sweats"
<TheDrip> the bigger my dick is, the more spic will scream when I stick it up the ass
<TheDrip> up his ass rather

#3751 +(522)- [X]

<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED.

#3764 +(358)- [X]

<ric> tbh, I would like to know why only fat women who have no chance of scoring with anyone seem to see *me* as their ideal partner
<tommy_> ditto
<ric> maybe, it's my good looks, my charm, my generosity....
<ric> or perhaps it's my hat of meat... just who knows?

#3993 +(153)- [X]

* DAEMON watches the most expensive videos on mtv
<SkiTz> the most expensive is bound to be a Michael Jackson clip.
<DAEMON> it costs a lot to buy small children on the black market for his dressing room

#4157 +(41)- [X]

<Konami> Washing makes my vagina smell less strong. Going several days with no washing results in a more pungent vagina. Most people could probably have guessed that.

#8024 +(111)- [X]

<Antarius> Are you a dork if you can read digdug.cx/quotes and recognize people regularly?

#8189 +(245)- [X]

<Joe_> how do you downgrade to IE5.5?
<Soulflame> fdisk

#8486 +(208)- [X]

<hakan> mine is bent upwards but the base points down
<hakan> its like a plant trying to grow to get more sunlight
<helminthes> yeah except it's your weiner
<hakan> but theres moss on it

#8741 +(323)- [X]

<Doomaholic> my pad fell off, and i can play in an octave thats not supposted to exist

#8762 +(90)- [X]

<Afterglow> tom what's the wallop command for mirc? you know?
<relapse> slash onotice i am gay

#11097 +(169)- [X]

(Louhi): mind u, I'm called "whats wrong with Cock teasers?"
(Pixie_Pete): Are they like malteasers?
* Waller buys a box of Cock teasers for Mother's Day as his mother's present

#11597 +(524)- [X]

<bLaKeiMuS_TiReD> i had a dream 2 nights ago that my penis was stuck in the hole of a TDK silver cd and i was really nervous
<jAyVeNoMx> damn dood if my dick fit in a CD hole I'd be nervous too

#11832 +(143)- [X]

<diospadre> NO MORE FINALS
<diospadre> im done.
<BuddyLee> good then go update
<diospadre> no must christmas shop
<BuddyLee> no staff job comes first
<diospadre> no buying stuff comes first cant let the terrorists win
<BuddyLee> LOL!\

#12027 +(328)- [X]

<Dreadnaut> i used to write poems about suicide and shit
<KrON> i did poems about cheese and stuff

#12710 +(415)- [X]

<Mr_Saturn> im surprised you won the race with 3 million other sperm <VenDi> i never raced in anythin dumbass

#15738 +(119)- [X]

<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for a server so he
  finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?"

#15792 +(102)- [X]

<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door)

#16754 +(355)- [X]

<@whistler> on the down side i no longer have a phone
<@whistler> on the up side i have a brand new bong

#16974 +(203)- [X]

<Cyc66> http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=****
<Cyc66> plz ruin that auction
<bbz_> what do i want to do that for?
<Cyc66> she's a dirty whore
<bbz> maybe i could get her phone number
<Cyc66> uh why would u do that
<bbz> well, if she is a dirty whore

#16997 +(131)- [X]

<Whooey> females jeans pockets are TINY
<Whooey> TTIIIIIIIIIINY
<Natasha> yes, they are
<amit> Whooey: females have a big flesh pocket to compensate

#22487 +(167)- [X]

<Tovart > I have high standarts. I want to be like janet reno.
<Locke|Away > K, lie down and let someone beat your face with a stick for an hour.

#33575 +(163)- [X]

<Floater_21> now anyone with an internet connection and + iq can register an aim s/n
<Floater_21> what makes you think i did it?
<X13> You are right, that would count you out of the running..
<X13> :)
<Floater_21> well there you go
<SovanJedi> ...

#47646 +(586)- [X]

<Gatsby> Glutamate to Lysine aat 487!
<Insom_BF> what I can't figure out
<Insom_BF> is how you manage to spell glutamate and lysine, but misspell 'at'

#51099 +(-40)- [X]

<Rain-Movie> where is the hosts file.
<Manaz> Depend which OS
<Rain-Movie> win2k
<Rain-Movie> i must edit it
<Rain-Movie> to block gey flash ads.
<Manaz> C:winntsystem32driversetc I think
<Rain-Movie> taking up HALF MY PAGE.
<DrillSGT> curse the adds
<Manaz> adds - you're cursing mathematics?

#66359 +(2234)- [X]

<FLB> Are you in the mood for some gaming?
<Ouroboros> Uh huh.
<FLB> Cause I should be finished in a reasonable amount of time.
<FLB> So you have more or less two options.
<FLB> A) You leave me an IP address, and I join you later.
<FLB> B) You simply wait for my return, at which point game specifics are worked out, and we commence.
<Ouroboros> C) I find a game, don't tell you the IP, and we never hook up.
<FLB> D) I hunt you down and kill you.
<Ouroboros> E) Ow.
<FLB> F) Somehow we manage to accomplish all of the above.
<Ouroboros> G) Not likely, but ok.
<FLB> H) I know, but it was an idea.
<Ouroboros> I) pick B)
<FLB> J) I have to scroll up, please hold.
<Ouroboros> K)
<FLB> L)OL
<FLB> M)an this is getting old.
<Ouroboros> N)o kidding.

#74991 +(159)- [X]

* deegan is gone. cupcakes and oralsex @ my mom's place

#80036 +(994)- [X]

*** Locke1` (~greens15@206.170.3.42) has joined #square
<Locke1`> am i still banned?
<Deadcounter> Locke: yes
<Locke1`> shit
<Locke1`> i'll leave now
<Locke1`> sorry
*** Locke1` (~greens15@206.170.3.42) has left #square
<Deadcounter> eheheh
<ift> amazing

#99683 +(144)- [X]

<Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to label him gay ^_^
<dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
<DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with what looks like pudding.
<DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.

#137512 +(391)- [X]

<Rowdy> I made a really evil alarm for myself this morning.
<Stoney> An evil alarm?
<Rowdy> sleep 21600 && cat /kernel > /dev/audio
<Rowdy> Turn your speakers to max and do that.
<Rowdy> It is MEAN.
<matt> i have lots of kewl mp3 mixing software atm :)
<Rowdy> Think like an air raid siren crossed with a million babies crying in unison.
<matt> .. and then were suddenly silenced?
<Rowdy> HAHAHAHAHAA
<Rowdy> ROFL
<Rowdy> That's the shit.

#215254 +(612)- [X]

<xtal> Uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh
<xtal> uh?
<Mazca> stop masturbating quizzically.

#215376 +(729)- [X]

<chrisj> american kids are all "oh gee mom I didn't mean to take a tip of dads bud light while he wasn't looking. i'll never get drunk again, I swear"
<chrisj> and australian kids are all
<chrisj> "AHH CHEERS CUNTS, GIVE US A SQUIRT FROM YOUR GOON BAG, DAD... AHHH CHEERS CUNT"

#270571 +(778)- [X]

<dman254> so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point
<jv-home> of course not. :P
<nougatmachine> apparently dman254 is new to irc

#383342 +(1370)- [X]

<GvL|OCNoy> hey guys, I'm making a hangman game, I need some 7-10 character words
<Boltskee> homosexual
<GvL|BBA> cockbite
<GvL|Ewout_vB> klootzak
<GvL|BBA> metrosexual
<GvL|OCNoy> Man, that was stupid to ask in IRC
<GvL|Ewout_vB> hemoglobin
<Boltskee> lollersexual
<GvL|Ewout_vB> pak5gene
<GvL|BBA> foreskin
<GvL|OCNoy> sigh
<GvL|BBA> rectum

#447596 +(732)- [X]

<@topsoil> The College Jeopardy winner wagered $1,337 in Final Jeopardy... seems more like the geek hero to me :)
<@topsoil> I was hoping he'd come back and lose and then Alex would be like, "Sorry to say this...but you wagered $1337 and lost, which now means, *holds up sign* 'j00 4r3 n0t 1337.'"
<@topsoil> Either that or Alex would just look at him and say, "pwn3d".

#451471 +(228)- [X]

<samafk> ui'm fuckt'
<samafk> 1/2 ogke
<samafk> vodka
<samafk> bp
<+Ajurian> pretending to be drunk on irc isnt cool anymore

#478173 +(887)- [X]

<RaveZeroX> stupid me put the square root of 50 as 25 instead of 7.1......
<GuiltySpark> o.O
<GuiltySpark> Temporary retardation?
<RaveZeroX> i guess u can call it that.... >_>
<GuiltySpark> That would SO be a good card for a "Hax0r: Teh 1337 trading card game"
<GuiltySpark> Temporary Retardation: Target creature becomes AOLer

#601180 +(1287)- [X]

<Heavy_Clown> Funny how IRC is mostly populated by elitist, ignorant pre-pubescent teenagers who can't even construct an intelligent insult. |:
<Vick> heavy....its funny how your probably 32 or something and have nothing better to do than try to out smart teenagers on irc

#643801 +(287)- [X]

<LinearA> so my boss emails me this resume for a 10AM interview
<LinearA> within 5 mins I trace the email address to a handle to an
          adultfriendfinder account.
<LinearA> !! Why can't people be more careful !!
<LinearA> "Need Hot Top To Fill Me UP!!"

#667762 +(897)- [X]

<Ghaleon> I'm a programmer for a company that ports english made games to the japanese market
<PcChip> Make one say "ALL YOUR BASE" in japanese to get back at them.

#755629 +(535)- [X]

<+knife> i produce enough semen in one day to feed half of africa
<+msBob> no wonder they all have aids

#830747 +(9983)- [X]

<Montana> yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW
<Dauntless> ... LOL
<Montana> omg here we go
<Dauntless> Can you say bash.org?
<Montana> why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers.
<Montana> Screw this
<Montana> If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth:
<Montana> MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE
<Montana> OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it.
<Montana> I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself:
<Montana> ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING!
<Montana> Now for the topic of sex:
<Montana> I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK!
<Montana> Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity.
<Montana> Hmm
<Montana> I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction!
<Montana> OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn.
<Montana> </end rant>
<Montana> Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb
<Dauntless> o_o

#831311 +(852)- [X]

<Ace073> wtf
<Ace073> i was just watching australia idol and they called it 'straya nidol'
<Ace073> wtf!!
<Ace073> why perpetuate the idea that we're hillbillies?
<Ace073> freakin south africa doesnt come on tv and say 'BLACK PEEPLE GTFO'
<Montana> Dude, thats so gay.
<Ace073> i know.. why dont we just rename the stupid continent Straya >_<
<Montana> No
<Montana> I mean
<Montana> You watch Australia Idol

#844354 +(409)- [X]

<MrNonchalant> she dumped me in the worst way possible
<MrNonchalant> Facebook defriend and status change
<MrNonchalant> one day you're in love with a girl who loves you, you have a romantic dinner, and you have a really nice moment together
<MrNonchalant> two days later you type her name in Facebook search and it doesn't autocomplete
<MrNonchalant> it doesn't autocomplete!

#928168 +(230)- [X]

<Xnoia> I chose to believe that argument drove him to drinking.
<Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory.
<@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense.
<Xnoia> I do.
<@RWolf> did.
<Xnoia> Damn it!

0.0358 20982 quotes approved; 5892 quotes pending
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