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#1110 +(493)- [X]

<MadHatter> sushi rulez!
<Ash> [12:26] <MadHatter> sushi rulez!
<Ash> [12:31] <MadHatter> i have a tummy ache

#3106 +(274)- [X]

<Maxstah> GOD what i'd do for gwen (stefani) to just kiss the tip of my cock
<Javi> you'd blow me?
<Maxstah> javi i'd swallow
<Maxstah> i'm comfortable with my hentrosexuality
<Maxstah> long as i have a coke to chase it down with

#4402 +(617)- [X]

<Amish> Only roaches and IBM Keyboards survive after thermo nuclear war.

#5414 +(146)- [X]

<cool__G> I can define 1/0
<illusionz> liar
<BeZoAR> thats like trying to define illusionz sexuality

#5760 +(1141)- [X]

<razorjd1> But i know what's first person shoter better than any body here!!!!
<razorjd1> why ppl think that 14 years old boy can't understand in computers???
<razorjd1> what the fuck is ur prob, son tof the bitches???
<razorjd1> i play UT all day and u say that i don't know what's first person shoter is???
<razorjd1> i overclock since i was 10 so don't call me stupid, i understand in computers better than any one here.
<razorjd1> Beware, or else i will hack to ur computer...
<razorjd1> Fuck u all!!!

#6131 +(484)- [X]

<nailer> Where in Hell is Carmen Sandiago's Luggage?

#6491 +(577)- [X]

<SwampFox> "I'm sleeping with several local teens.  Find out if your child is one of them at 11."

#6613 +(321)- [X]

<@arioch> the UT chicks looked too manly for my tastes
<@arftron> serious
<@meiso> wtf she is sexy
<@meiso> her beard is pure ripe for stroking

#7224 +(1796)- [X]

***  mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's, All welcome. Place for 500"
<Minko> grrrr
<Minko> You can all come, but I'm not gonna be there
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's  <Minko> You can all come"
<Minko> Stop it guys, I'm busy this weekend
<Minko> I've got big things planned
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's  <Minko> You can all come <Minko> I've got big things planned"
<Minko> Aaargh

#8506 +(214)- [X]

<aversion> i was takin a dump today in the stalls
<aversion> and someone stuck their dick through a hole
<aversion> i didnt even get to finish

#8782 +(742)- [X]

<maywood> Has a PC ever been known to start mysteriously working after it was thrown out a window?

<kevin> Nope, I've never known throwing a PC out the window to help. However, what I did find while I was working at my last job was that intimidation *does* work. When I was having a particularly bad day, I used to take some old equipment that we wouldn't have been able to sell outside, and go Office Space on it. Then, I'd bring the carcass inside, and leave it in plain view, to serve as a warning for the other computers. It worked remarkably well.

#14908 +(436)- [X]

@(SikLogik) this one time... at computer camp... I shoved a linux cd in my windows computer

#16175 +(259)- [X]

<KAboomy> I used to be afraid of bees
<KAboomy> now I'm just afraid of mayonaise

#16475 +(1040)- [X]

<Logan> I have to say that sex ruined pornography for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked cowboy!" when you touch their elbow.

#18038 +(289)- [X]

<Worsemaker> public boolean whore(String x) { if (x = "Your Mom") { return true; } else { return false; }
<Seigfried> You forgot your close brace, Worsemaker.
<Seigfried> And the else is extraneous.
<Seigfried> And I don't think you need the "public" unless it's actually in a class.
<Seigfried> And THAT has infinite levels of recursion. ;P
*** Worsemaker was kicked by Mandoric (C++ kick. =p)

#18208 +(238)- [X]

<runedx2> the other day... my cat was in my lap.. and i was petting it. but then i realized there wasn't a cat in my lap. :(

#21346 +(504)- [X]

<ChaB`s> Santa Claus hates you.
<LordReavr> he doesn't, he gives me presents.
<ChaB`s> no he doesn't.
<ChaB`s> that's not santa at all.
<LordReavr> you're just jealous because all you get is lumps of coal.
<ChaB`s> hey, I'm prepared for an energy crisis, man

#21910 +(176)- [X]

tigremaitre: using the 5 dollar colledge works ..  :)
tigremaitre: err wrods :)
tigremaitre: dammit
tigremaitre: words even
workfox137: and hopefully a $15 spell checker

#30268 +(238)- [X]

<Mougly> you cant fire me...slaves have to be sold!

#36141 +(212)- [X]

<SUPAR> i wonder if unicorn farts smell like potpourri

#36792 +(263)- [X]

<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit

#37936 +(1002)- [X]

<Taz> my FTO could top your mates prelude man no worries
<iPRoTiuS> lol are u sure? its 210hp man
<Taz> really? a prelude can do that?
<iPRoTiuS> err, yea
<Taz> bullshit wot year is it?
<iPRoTiuS> 88
<Taz> 1988?
<iPRoTiuS> no u retard. 1888. it literally has 210 hourses pulling it

#38145 +(1117)- [X]

<dbanks> does anyone know what DS would mean if someone said "you are DS"
<@kellogs> <dbanks>: you are a dumb shit
<dbanks> fuck you, i come in here asking for someeno to hepl me and you abuse me fuckin cunt
*** Parts: dbanks (banksey@138.21.122.92)
<petey> lol dumbass
*** Joins: dbanks (banksey@138.21.122.92)
<dbanks> oh shit i just got what you meant sorry
*** kellogs sets mode: +b *!*@138.21.122.92
*** dbanks was kicked by kellogs (banned: whoever said that about you was right)

#39635 +(819)- [X]

<Jules--> i mainly listen to battle music
<Jules--> which is basically rappers
<Jules--> insulting each other and calling each other fags
<Jules--> its like irc set to a beat

#44073 +(325)- [X]

<Hurricane_Hasney> I'm just a pedophile really
<Hurricane_Hasney> I mean audiophile
<Hurricane_Hasney> Sheesh, talk about mis-type of the century :S

#44758 +(934)- [X]

<Llarack>  You are what you eat ^_^
<Iskandor>  I AM NOT A PUSSY
<Iskandor>  >_>
<Kletian>  yeah, you're a dick.

#46814 +(-28)- [X]

<franx> im suing myself, for being so homo

#52426 +(325)- [X]

<MvCrash> I did it DOGGY style with my wife this morning.....
<MvCrash> I begged... she rolled over and played DEAD!!!

#52661 +(292)- [X]

<+NikitaDk> The problem is that God gave men both a penis and a brain, but only blood enough to control one organ at a time... Robin Williams
<+Challii> ha ha ha ha ha ha
<+Challii> and it gave women too much blood that they had to get rid of a load of it each month

#53473 +(-15)- [X]

<Jesse> shit. i dont know wether i should anally rape you like a blonde ass whiteboy or beat you like a red headed stepchild

#56407 +(240)- [X]

<Krypto-> while you sleep and wet your bed tonight.. i'll be in the land of hobbits.. SO FUCK U
* Krypto- prances off

#74688 +(231)- [X]

<Shadow> You know those Orbit commercials, where the blonde gives Orbit gum to someone to clean their dirty mouth?
<Shadow> Just once, I wanna see that girl suck off someone, then chew some Orbit gum
<Shadow> Girl: Orbit gum makes mouths clean!

#75196 +(127)- [X]

<SA-Meta> pyro send me a good computer and war3
<SA-PYRoMaNiaC> Alright.  Address?
<SA-PYRoMaNiaC> And if you act now, the Anthrax is free!
<SA-Meta> OMG YES!

#75781 +(297)- [X]

* Volt9000 gazes through binoculars at DopefishJustin "And here we have the nerd, in his natural habitat, the Star Trek convention. Notice his pale skin and thick glasses, typical of the species nerdius nevergonnagetlaidius."

#77936 +(186)- [X]

<JacksWastedLife> <----MsMarina
<kuribo> <----MsMarina
<torgo> <--- dumbass
<CactusJac> MsMarina---->
<Deathlove> <-- Spartacus

#80408 +(549)- [X]

<Jude> I wish humans laid eggs
<Ringlord> UGH
<Ringlord> why would you want humans to lay eggs?
<Jude> So i can eat them

#82169 +(634)- [X]

<SUMO> Yeah, your girlfriend is a slut.
<Marlon_Strike> no she's not.
<TIKKI-MAN_FAEZZ> sounds like it:P
<Marlon_Strike> She simply has an odd sense of humor.
* cloud|I-Saviour looks at Eld and nods
* SUMO nods at Cloud as well.
<Marlon_Strike> ....
<Marlon_Strike> You guys suck...
<Marlon_Strike> I never insult your girlfriends...
<SUMO> We never have any.

#107453 +(98)- [X]

<pk_madness00> my nick list is on my penis
<pk_madness00> :\
<Dagny> !kick pk_madness00 short list eh?

#152424 +(1034)- [X]

KitterLittie> Man, this sucks
KitterLittie> I just sat down to poo, but before I even sit down I hear this big *KERSPLOOOSH!*
KitterLittie> So I'm all freaked out, wondering how that happened, I jump and turn around...
KitterLittie> Turns out that I forgot I had the TV remote in my back pocket before I took my pants down :(

#192531 +(6348)- [X]

<riesto>  So I discovered that half my students are failing because they just read bash.org every day in class.
<tumnest>  How'd you determine that?
<riesto>  One of them *accidentally* e-mailed me explaining how no one does anything in the class, dumbasses.
<riesto>  So if you're reading this, students, GET TO FUCKING WORK!  MODULE 10!

#239439 +(266)- [X]

(+{-ReV-}) http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~husainm/Animated/milkit.gif thats stupid the glass isn't even filling up how am i supposed to believe it then
(jizzypop_) hehe
(jizzypop_) you just have to have faith
(+{-ReV-}) like the song
(@J_bomb) rev it's a new GIF version
(@J_bomb) if you wait long enough, they'll fill up
(@J_bomb) it has extra frames
(+{-ReV-}) ok
(@J_bomb) just sit and stare
(+{-ReV-}) i'll put my finger on the screen to mark the progression of the milk

20 minutes later...

(+{-ReV-}) ok dammit
(+{-ReV-}) i fucking quit
(+{-ReV-}) screw the milk

#348129 +(2292)- [X]

(sadik): nothing gayer than 2guys and a chick
([sic]): well there's two guys and no chick
([sic]): that's pretty gay

#397766 +(503)- [X]

HDF_Red wakes up
<HDF_Red> my mom taste funny ;_;
<HDF_Red> oh man
<Lord-Lard-Arse> OMG :x
<HDF_Red> typo city

#483079 +(284)- [X]

<ajh_home> I'm not sure I can convey how uncomfortable it makes me when people just randomly come up to me.
<kyle> the funny thing is, if you killed them, it would be /you/ who gets arrested.
<kyle> what a backwards society.

#700994 +(532)- [X]

<Marco> stfu, i'm doing an IQ test on the net
<Paranoua> if you want somethin positive do a HIV-test

#718795 +(231)- [X]

in ana ni xX: I pretend to be a dude on mIRC.
in ana ni xX: Like, for instance, I just got banned from seven channels in less than 10 minutes!
Hero by Words: Awesome.
in ana ni xX: I know, I'm really cool.
in ana ni xX: It pisses me off sometimes,
in ana ni xX: how someone can slap me around with a fish,
in ana ni xX: but I can't wank off into their eyes without getting booted.

#773253 +(338)- [X]

<Sea_Bass> Hahaha, by the way, guys, how awesome is this:
<Sea_Bass> I went to the snackbar with a couple of mates today
<Sea_Bass> and while sitting there, this truck drove by
<Sea_Bass> And I was like "Wow, that's a loooong truck"
<Sea_Bass> so it had passed, and I looked over my shoulder, and in doing so, I caught the license plate
<Thomp> was it long cat being moved?
<Sea_Bass> which was 90-TL-DR

#876114 +(1297)- [X]

<@blackbart> lol this guy was showing me his new phone at work the other day
<@blackbart> so while i was looking at it i changed his contact entry for his dad to my number
<@blackbart> just got a call from him and answered with "hello son, i dont love you and your adopted"
<@blackbart> cant stop laughing

#877975 +(2108)- [X]

<LifeIsGood2u> I got the worst fortune after having a condom break
<Incubor> what
<LifeISGood2u> "Even the smallest leak can sink a ship"
<Incubor> Damn Asian Cookies

#919561 +(3490)- [X]

A: > Try playing Quake 4 on an Intel Video card. Let us know how you get on.
B: > It looks as good as on an ATI/Nvidia card so far...
B: > Hang on.. frame 2 is coming up.. yup still looks good.

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