#89 +(848)- [X]
<tmhaidnk> whoa i can submit my prayers via html based forms !
#118 +(292)- [X]
<voln> I am going to build the first car that has built-in IRC
#590 +(265)- [X]
<Zen> I wonder what flavor of Windows they're going to run on Xbox..
<Yohoma> hopefully AOL 7.0 is out by the, i wanna play gamez online
#1837 +(242)- [X]
<barkode> you don't even want to be in the same area code as me after indian food
#2132 +(1177)- [X]
<DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
<Thom> Ach. Dang.
<DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
<puchiko> It is.
<DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.
#2570 +(757)- [X]
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#3231 +(346)- [X]
<LIMPBZKIT> i dont know whats wrong with me i had sex
<JerkItgrl> with what?
#4321 +(458)- [X]
<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right
#7223 +(202)- [X]
<wabbit> ok ... we dont choose what cum tastes like ... otherwise it would taste a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT!!!
#7450 +(377)- [X]
<@Bojangle> splurge: This one time, my friend called the cops for getting a threatning phone call. SO the cops come over to just see what my friend is like, to judge if he was BSing or not
<@Bojangle> So they come over, and start chatting my friend up, they go, "What do you do?" and he's like, "I'm a computer consultant
<@Bojangle> "Oh yeah, what are ya' working on?" and he's like, "Oh, some webserver"
<@Bojangle> So then these two cops start talking about how he should use another server, and how the server he's using sucks, and how he should set up a database for certain things, lmao
<@Bojangle> And my friend's like, "What are you, cops or computer programmers?" and he's like, "Oh, I just like to play around in my spare time"
<@Bojangle> It was like something outta Seinfeld
<@splurge> id skullfuck them and leave their corpses in the backyard
<@Bojangle> Me too
#7755 +(862)- [X]
<psIRE> I had sex once, very tiring
<Snipe> yeh me too.... oh wait no that was the time i installed linux
#8323 +(145)- [X]
<dt--> womb- im a big proponent of enviroment conditioning the youth
<wombrood> dt: 'environment,' for future reference
<djthrush> also, believing that something is true does not make you a
<djthrush> 'proponent' is closer in meaning to 'advocate'
<dt--> im aware of its meaning
<dt--> but thanks webster
<djthrush> i don't think you are! since you used it wrong and all
<dt--> how did i use it wrong?
<djthrush> i just explained it to you
<djthrush> are you some sort of illiterate fag?
<djthrush> are you a homeless boozer who just wandered into an internet
<djthrush> i mean, really
#10724 +(1620)- [X]
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m
#10860 +(890)- [X]
<rds|squall> im italian plz help me
#11909 +(230)- [X]
<verb`> baby blue pumas are guy shoes?
<molesto> i might not know how to dress, but i know how not to invite a serial assfucking by the entire crew of an aircraft carrier
<Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<molesto> <Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<verb`> any color preceded by baby is a girl color
<molesto> i'll pretend you didn't say that
<Twilo`> dude u serious?
<molesto> any colour preceded by baby gets you on the paedophile register
<Twilo`> u stuck in the 90's?
<molesto> no i'm stuck back in the days when people that wore shoes like that didn't have anuses like exit wounds
#14198 +(593)- [X]
(Horny-Net-Geek): Hi, I just got my computer yesterday morning took all day to set up and I stayed up half the night to download mirc from a web sight in Turkey. My questions is (1) how do I get ops (2) how do you send messages. (3) all women here a/s/l/?
#16151 +(63)- [X]
* Amrik slaps Morfans around a bit with a large trout
<Marvin|> I don't think he'll notice you more just because you do that.
<Amrik> well it makes me feel better
#16643 +(1)- [X]
<himem> I love my cat's tight vagina
<himem> Would you stick out your tongue in real life? No, you wouldn't. Then ":P" is pretty stupid.
#22109 +(90)- [X]
*** Now talking in #anime
*** Topic is 'go to #anime-core'
* Kurin looks at the topic
<Kurin> A little blatant, don't you think?
<Ghaleon> More 'direct' than 'blatant'
<WyldXyld> weeds out the vermin
#22952 +(592)- [X]
<weasel> i made a thing that turns red when you left click it and blue when you right click it
<weasel> and now i can't stop clicking it
<sponge> thats sad
<weasel> no, what's sad is that this took me 2 hours to write and debug
#23843 +(305)- [X]
<Weng> If one were to download every piece of porn on the internet, paysites and all, and remove the duplicates, how many 120 gig hard drives would he have to span?
<NaiWiste> a lot
<Weng> including gay, kiddie, fetish and assorted other disgusting variations
<NaiWiste> i'de say. at least 200gb for kiddie pr0n
<Weng> only 200?
<Snickerdo> Wang: Maxtor and WD would get into a bidding war over you, that's how much.
<Weng> Cool. Time to put this 56k pipe to work
#28049 +(628)- [X]
Statik : are you going to sleep?
Statik : I need to get off so my sister can go to sleep
Statik : um...I didn't mean it like that >:(
#30380 +(821)- [X]
<Rage> Best pickup line ever is "Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"
#34090 +(196)- [X]
<LeslieHapablap> do you snow ball?
<katester> mom to kid: "i should have swallowed"
<tyler> my friend jordan got snowballed once
<tyler> we called him snowball for like a yera
<tyler> by some other guy's junk too
<mkb> i am torn between curiosity and not wanting to know
<PaddyBoy> I'm not,
<PaddyBoy> I don't need to know. :)
<tylerox> that's what you get for kissing drunk sluts at new-years parties
<tylerox> he got kissed
<tylerox> what is he complaining about
<sureshot> dammit, i didn't want to know,.
<mkb> damn that was probably several other guys' junk then
<tylerox> it wasn't like a mouthful
<tylerox> it was just the aftertaste, really
<tylerox> i mean she's not walking around with it in her cheek or anything
<PaddyBoy> Saving it for just the right schmuck.
<LeslieHapablap> chipmunk the junk.
<tylerox> like a plug of tobbaco
<sureshot> haha. christ.
#34413 +(605)- [X]
* Dr_Vladimir cries at the racial discrimination....
<Dr_Vladimir> Robots are people too!
<TK-421> lousy automatons
* Norton flicks off muffbots switch
*** Signoff: muffbot ()
<Dr_Vladimir> OH MY GOD!
<muffinator> MOUTH TO MOUTH
* Norton hooks up jumper cables to muffbot
* Norton turns his car over
*** muffbot (email@example.com) has joined channel #MUA
#37245 +(153)- [X]
<Toke> ralhpis's little brother wanted to packet fraggle once
<Toke> and asked for his ip
<Toke> so fraggle gave him own ip and he packeted himself
#37532 +(699)- [X]
<Sauron> nazis steal everything from other cultures
<Sauron> swastica = stolen, salute = stolen, skinhead name = stolen
<Sauron> nazi banners = stolen
<Sauron> nazi eagle = stolen
<r3q> world domination = priceless
#38529 +(248)- [X]
<Razzar> Gamer dead after 86 hours of straight gaming
<Smax> darwin awards candidate
<Razzar> Hope he got some good frags
#47669 +(446)- [X]
<patchmonkey> After_8 - On the other hand, in 1995, a schoolteacher wrote to the Washington Post and stated, "I was told children are not to be expected to spell the following words correctly: back, big, call, came, can day, did, dog, down, get good, have, he, home, if, in ,is, it, like, little, man, morning, mother, my, night, off, out, over, people, play, ran, said, saw, she, some, soon, their, them, there, time, two, too, up, us, very, water, we
<unstable_at-work> dog? a fscking kindergarden student can spell dof
<Fraggy> hahahahaha @ unstable
* unstable_at-work runs and hides now
#47806 +(228)- [X]
<Mentar_Ex> Having a huge debate about the war on drugs.
<Mentar Ex> What's your take on it?
<@Galleta> You know, I'm really divided on that subject, because I love war, and I love drugs, and I just hate to see them go at eachother. It's like a chick fight, only with tons of blood and no flesh.
#48915 +(-181)- [X]
<Coco13> SOMEONE DIAL UP BASH.ORG, WE GOT A CASE OF THE FUNNIES
#49053 +(319)- [X]
Magical^^: man i can think of a thosuand ways to get laid, and none of them aint working tonight
moses1: well since all the ideas involve you , im not suprised
#51436 +(312)- [X]
<@i386> NEXT Year, me, skool. pointelss educational films. susicide
<BenZor> if you spell like that, it isnt pointless.
#56017 +(629)- [X]
<@X-G> makes you wonder ...
<@X-G> why a penguin?
<@X-G> who invented tux?
<@X-G> and how did it become the linux symbol?
<@elver> there's a long story behind it...
<@elver> Torvalds loves penguins, one of them once bit him too at a zoo
<@elver> and that's basically it
<@X-G> story. too. long. can't. stay. awake.
#62882 +(928)- [X]
<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink
<@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor
<+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy
#74670 +(747)- [X]
<superghos> i'm gonna go hug my dad just so i can see the "christ, is he gay?" face
#82089 +(806)- [X]
* Alpaca is listening to : Celine Dion - Where Does My Heart Beat Now.mp3
<Alpaca> STUPID SCRIPT
#84321 +(165)- [X]
FyreDefyre> i always take the side off my case so it doesnt overheat
<diStriCt|sleep> does that work?
<diStriCt|sleep> wouldnt the stuff fall outta it?
#146402 +(295)- [X]
(bigwurm) if your concerned about the ammount of cpu time an onboard sound card uses, you should really get a new cpu + mobo
(@|-ZenitH-|) or a life
#247524 +(350)- [X]
< euronium> i never understood the concept behind flavor colored condoms
< Skarack_> do you suck dick?
#263029 +(356)- [X]
<jeff> if the butterfly effect isn't the best worst movie ever, i don't know what is
<Calisa> Rotten Tomatoes has one review listed and it says, "Hitchcock would be proud."
<jeff> proud to know he had nothing to do with that film
#273488 +(751)- [X]
<timmyB> yeah well i intend to live forever
<timmyB> so far so good
#426305 +(518)- [X]
<Innkeeper> ===== Question 15588/19999 =====
<Innkeeper> What is the first book of the Bible
<Innkeeper> Hint: @@@@@@@
#433012 +(630)- [X]
Myung LeshBurton: in drivers ed yesterday, the teacher said something about how he used to always look up to superman
Myung LeshBurton: and how he wished everybody was indestructable like he was
Myung LeshBurton: so i just had to yell out "But it didnt take kryptonite to kill Superman, just a horse!"
Myung LeshBurton: the entire class fell silent, 3 people holding back laughter and everybody else horrified at what i said
RACaira326: you are a TERRIBLE person
RACaira326: you should be proud
Myung LeshBurton: wait, i made it worse
RACaira326: I cant believe you can make that worse
Myung LeshBurton: i said "Unless somebody hid kryptonite in the horses ass"
#598261 +(604)- [X]
gelishan: one of my friends who's a stats major calculated the significance of their other
#639555 +(3488)- [X]
* @darklyndsea claws bizarre's eyes out
#686488 +(434)- [X]
greyfox80988: The average American spends 6 years in the bathroom, and 6 months at a stoplight.
greyfox80988: I want to know who figures this stuff out o_o
greyfox80988: Cause that's what I'm gonna be when I grow up ^_^
#714581 +(811)- [X]
<TMX> someone right a shell extension for windows xp
<Cow> for what?
<TMX> stfu button
<Cow> i'm gonna make a command line program to buy stuff from amazon
<TMX> equivalent tokilling a process via ctrl-alt-delete
<TMX> For retarded programs like norton that just have an "ok" button when they ask to reboot
<TMX> |& M$ Piss-me-off XP |_|| ||X||
<TMX> | Your computer needs to be rebooted in |
<TMX> | order to apply the updates. |
<TMX> | |
<TMX> | Save your work, and then click ok. |
<TMX> | |
<TMX> | +----------+ +----------+ |
<TMX> | | OK | | STFU | |
<TMX> | +----------+ +----------+ |
#810977 +(614)- [X]
shim: I once snagged a fella who had the scariest opening line ever
shim: "come on baby, lemme throw my hotdog down your hallway"
shim: I went afk for 10 mins because I was laughing so hard I couldn't move
shim: what do you say to that?
shim: I thought for a while
shim: and eventually typed "any mustard?" and he left :(
#867713 +(2019)- [X]
-About 3 minutes later-
<Yodo> Woot 1000 spins
<Yodo> This game needs highscore table and ingame chat
<Devildrake> Dude wtf, it's a shock site, not a game...