#76 +(1372)- [X]
<MTrez> ok, about 1 million of my potential children just got introduced to some downy tissue, so im gonna sleep now, im tired
#117 +(1253)- [X]
<CrazyDe> some dude on ebay is threatening to sue me for copyright infringement
<Guilty> Did you claim to be the Real Slim Shady?
#356 +(894)- [X]
<Rapture> Tsk, it's [new processors] as bad as penis comparisons, really.
<rejs> but penises don't double in performance every 18 months...
#1591 +(265)- [X]
<ufodude> im trying to find a good place to get linux. i tried www.astakavista.com and i just got lost there with all these files and shit
#2050 +(91)- [X]
<B_Spears> Jimmy Buffet? aww
<Slander> Jimmy rocks man
<B_Spears> yeah, in a rocking chair ;)
#3160 +(66)- [X]
<Spin0ut> devvie: Hey, it may be short, but it sure is skinny
#4771 +(-170)- [X]
<ToiletDuk> i want to meet a 2 year old with no gag reflex
#4968 +(115)- [X]
<clay> i was sitting in khaleds dorm
<clay> while he was hitting his gravity bong
<clay> and i said dude
<clay> make some shit so i can irc with windows dude
#6310 +(292)- [X]
* deVoca wonders how many American here know on what date the Civil War started and ended.
<Bell_of_Ygg> deV, I can't remember when-I can only remember how, why and what.
<The_Freakazoid> That means bell can remember it in the ass, for love, with a phone. But not who did it or when it happened.
#6928 +(1150)- [X]
<piman> DAMMIT NETSCAPE!
<piman> DO NOT FREEZE WHEN MY MOTHER WALKS IN AND I AM LOOKING AT PORN!
#7689 +(302)- [X]
<Phuser> Someone asked me if I knew what time it was today
<Phuser> I said, Yes, but not right now.
#8531 +(40)- [X]
[Lord-Data] we missed you
[Lord-Data] wait.. no we didnt
#9258 +(52)- [X]
<Murder-Is-Funny> I get this huge kick of trying to talk people I judge as worthless into suicide
#9936 +(224)- [X]
* Beerbaron oils up the chainsaw and sharpens his axe
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#9949 +(985)- [X]
<paul> anyone know what a .ace file is
<moneo> all i know is it beats a .kng
#10682 +(600)- [X]
<Birk> Since you know, you get to choose a name when you are pope
<Birk> If I ever became pope I would choose the name Perri.
<Birk> So then people would call me pope perri, and they would be forced to laugh whenever saying my name.
#11068 +(276)- [X]
<Zarzig> If i had a cup of liquid nitrogen right now, i would drink it.
<Zarzig> Granted my stomach would solidify and i would die in a matter of seconds...
<Zarzig> but at least my underwear woulden't be so sweaty...
#11117 +(445)- [X]
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss
<@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach
<@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing
<@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself
#13355 +(172)- [X]
<[chromex]> A paleontologist is a type of dinosaur
#14817 +(958)- [X]
<Ziggy> anyone know where i can download ICQ?
<Assmann> ziggy get on icq ill send it to u
<Ziggy> dude are you a fucking moron?
#33641 +(152)- [X]
<evLvsJim> scientest jed wants to battle
<evLvsJim> what scientist is called jed?
#37414 +(270)- [X]
<cshepherd> i hax0red my first root account at age 12
<cshepherd> i was so proud!@
<cshepherd> no pubic hair, but good god did i have root
#46846 +(17)- [X]
<Girl_Type_Zhanma> I LOVE irl... the internet can go suck cock in hell for all i care XP
#49953 +(167)- [X]
<ljtyk> damn school
<SoulBladeKai> it suX0rs
<ljtyk> i'm gonna be so happy when i graduation
<SoulBladeKai> uhh...that's an IF not a WHEN
<ljtyk> fuck u l33t boy
#50120 +(21)- [X]
( shamoun ) lol, please don't root me
( shamoun ) hey, i have a question
( shamoun ) if im logged into root, is there some way i can do something like su to login to another user and then launch xchat
( shamoun ) i don't want to have to leave xfce
( shamoun ) well, now you all know im logged in as root. goodbye
#50296 +(-938)- [X]
<linux> "So... my girlfriend told me she thought i was a pedophile the other day."
<linux> "so i says to her, that's an awfully big word coming from a 12 year old."
#50887 +(462)- [X]
<rootd> Got my room down to about 35-40% fragmented... much better than the 70-80% earlier
<Jeian> you defragmented your room?
<Jeian> too much computer for you... :]
#56053 +(1)- [X]
<Terra-ist> i need roms
* Terra-ist wants a good rom site
<Terra-ist> just gimme a good rom site and ill shut up >=[
<lea_notwriting> Ever tried Google?
<lea_notwriting> I heard it has GREAT roms.
#56485 +(586)- [X]
<drlion> what size t-shirt fits me?
<drlion> i'm a thin, normal-height 17 year old guy
<drlion> medium? large?
<moira> consult a pre-existing tshirt in the wooden object located in your current domicile, also known as a "chest of drawers"
<drlion> damn it
<drlion> i would never have thought of that
#58743 +(1384)- [X]
<@Campbell> I saw the best thing today... I was around at a mates place and these Jehovah's Witnesses came around preaching their shit
<@Campbell> So my mate invites them in and sits down and offers them pizza and cookies.
<@Campbell> After about 15 minutes they left very happy.
<@Campbell> We spotted them about an hour later lying in a park staring at the sky
<@Campbell> I guess those hash cookies and that magic mushie pizza really did its job.
<@Campbell> Who said drugs were bad?!
#63086 +(440)- [X]
< PrincessLeia2> :q
< PrincessLeia2> oops
< TonicBH> what kind of face is that?
< PrincessLeia2> not a facey, I was trying to quit vim %(
#73192 +(2090)- [X]
<olah> what does 'dunno' mean?
<goof> i don't know
<olah> anyone else?
<goof> i said i don't know
<olah> yeah, i saw...but does anyone else know what it means?
<goof> I DON'T KNOW !!
<olah> yeah, i know
<goof> then why do you ask?!
<olah> because i want to know!
<goof> you said you DID know!
<olah> no, i know that you don't know
<goof> i KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, ffs!
<olah> what, then?
<goof> i don't know
<olah> omg...DO you or DON'T you know?!
<goof> i means: I DON'T KNOW !!
#82082 +(212)- [X]
james: wouldnt it be cool to live in a giant oval room
james: when ppl come over, u can be like, sit in the corner plz, and they'll get confused
#99043 +(1156)- [X]
<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left
#101283 +(509)- [X]
<BloodFromStone> "You wouldn't think incest was wrong if you had cousins as hot as mine."
#103486 +(415)- [X]
<_3Apophis> how i'm i stupid?
#104145 +(1364)- [X]
<unlimitedsaga> I wonder if I'm too uncaring about others
<unlimitedsaga> I passed this guy in the hall today
<unlimitedsaga> and I thought he was asleep
<unlimitedsaga> then when I came back 10 minutes later there were people around him
<unlimitedsaga> then an ambulance came
<unlimitedsaga> maybe he was unconscious
<unlimitedsaga> or dead..
<unlimitedsaga> is tribes any good?
#106643 +(204)- [X]
<Mr_Hanky> fubu = Farmers Used to Beat Us?
#106787 +(2446)- [X]
<Supra87T> aw, for shits sake!
<Supra87T> remember sarah? well, the other night we fucked, and now i have to get tested for aids.
<Snipa> Think positive
<Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny
#106877 +(167)- [X]
< maria> iMacs look a little like breasts with some sort of appendage stuck on where the nipple should be
<@pearlbear> maria: !
< maria> what?!
< maria> they do!
<@pearlbear> they do, now, don't they
< karynn> maria needs to get laid
<@pearlbear> why didn't I ever notice that.
<@pearlbear> I mean those circles of vents on the top...
* pearlbear now has a new reason to love her iMac
#116170 +(854)- [X]
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> DRUGS ARE BAD
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> unless you are sick
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or depressed
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or having trouble sleeping
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need to stay awake
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need a little inspiration
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to win a sporting event
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to look cool
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you're just not feeling 100%
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> but other than that they are BAD
#137854 +(203)- [X]
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> and what kind of tools am I going to need to put all this crap together
<[TFCC]MitsuMan> philips head screwdriver and knife to open packages lol
<[TFCC]FloorPie> A knife? Use your teeth
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> what about securing the mobo in the case
<[TFCC]FloorPie> You'll have such a hard on when the new hardware arives, just poke the package open
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> or tape and grease? i read somewehreabout that
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> but I have no idea why
<[TFCC]MitsuMan> everything will come with mounting screws M
<[TFCC]MysteryDate> oh right
<[TFCC]FloorPie> The tape is to hold your hardon down
<[TFCC]FloorPie> the greese is for afterwards
#158059 +(1763)- [X]
<Ben> good weather for mowing my ass...
<Ben> "good weather for mowing" my ass
#163006 +(208)- [X]
<mmrafk> wtf does the "E" in E-Mail stand for
<mmrafk> express-mail ?
#182044 +(290)- [X]
<@Lord_Saros> stfu you fuxing noob
<@Lord_Saros> AOL kiddie !
<@Deadpool-> somone uses aol here?
<@Lord_Saros> Sxales does
<@Deadpool-> you make me sick
<@Lord_Saros> He just keeps his aol line on a low profile
*@Sxales hides it under a rug
<@Lord_Saros> Nothing (:
<@Sxales> i'm too fucking cheap to use aol, i just yell in binary real loud
#255859 +(74)- [X]
<BaD-CooL> for the first time in history, two zombie movies are at the movie theaters at the same time
<BaD-CooL> dawn of the dead and passion of the christ
<BaD-CooL> jesus is the original zombie
<BaD-CooL> then he sucked the brains out of all the dumbass christian faggots
#418770 +(-232)- [X]
MynameisTim: Oh my fucking god, I was just whacking off and I have these crazy lumps on my coozer I think they are warts, anyway I'm sitting there ALMOST at climax when BOOM! one pops and coats my face with pus
MynameisTim: so what are you guys up to?
#714532 +(710)- [X]
<Yoggit> No, it sucks, there's all these little kids, and they always try to talk to me.
<leeberace> i like kids
<Yoggit> I like kids, when they're being quiet and not moving.
<leeberace> those are dead kids
<leeberace> that doesn't really count
#875652 +(859)- [X]
MisVampyre: i'm so outta questions....i'm horrible at asking them
rhys_rhaven: questions are cute
rhys_rhaven: but the real way to understand a person is simple
rhys_rhaven: you wind a cord around the top of the biggest pair of stairs you can find
rhys_rhaven: and then you wait till a person is about to walk down the stairs, where they will obviously trip and have horrible things happen to them
rhys_rhaven: and then you walk 20 feet way. and you put a thing of frozen bacon in a skillet
rhys_rhaven: and you make the skillet so it can only be heated by a locked drum underneath it, which can be lit only by a single pilot light, which you then line with det cord trailing to a small mortar next to it. which you fill with kittens
rhys_rhaven: hungry, meowing kittens
MisVampyre: oh. my. god.
rhys_rhaven: And lastly you put a timer on the on the propane for the bacon. So they have a choice
rhys_rhaven: save the person
rhys_rhaven: save the kittens
rhys_rhaven: or eat the bacon
MisVampyre: you're awesome
MisVampyre: omg..eat the bacon
rhys_rhaven: Thats it. I love you
#945148 +(26)- [X]
gstridg: When I die, you are allowed to make all sorts fun about it, because I will be dead and I will not mind, so long as you do it in a manner that does not upset my surviving family.
gstridg: That said.
gstridg: Universal Studios presents: AMY WINEHOUSE AND MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.