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#802 +(428)- [X]

<SuckIt699> ENGLISH people u r in america

#1035 +(428)- [X]

<lux0r> don't make me /molest you

#2473 +(647)- [X]

<ringy> my mom says shed date me if she was my age

#4835 +(281)- [X]

<JeyK> 7) I wanted to see if my penis would fit through the CD.  It did, but the firemen and rescue squad had to break the CD to free me.

#5510 +(391)- [X]

<zaril> my x-gf left me sex-deprived, not my fault. :P
<Toen> yeah right.
<Toen> "she let me see her bra once"
<Toen> "...one of the ones in her dresser anyway"
<Toen> "it was unhooked! eheh! heh!"

#6549 +(191)- [X]

* Lemieux doesnt do the menage-a-trois thing
<Lemieux> at least... not if there's 2 women involved
<skidd> so you're a multiple input woman?
* Lemieux is not a porn star
<JayByrd> you don't have to be a porn star
<JayByrd> dirties across the land are getting it at both ends, as we speak

#6797 +(345)- [X]

<drdink> WaL-_-MarT: I used to know how to do an overhead page in your store
<WaL-_-MarT> cool, drdink..
<drdink> actually what you do
<drdink> is you take walmart's employee phone off the pole
<drdink> and go get a portable phone from the electronics department
<drdink> and plug it in to the pole
<drdink> and you can walk around the store
<drdink> and they can't catch you
<drdink> just don't leave, or its stealing

#16177 +(143)- [X]

<Fishmonkey> its called "You're a Fucking Geek" dating service
* Fishmonkey was kicked by Cyber_Akuma (You have been kicked by the STFU op insult detector)

#20383 +(329)- [X]

[topic changed [ @lelesan [ Attention IRC Users: No one fucking cares what mp3 you are listening to ]

#21781 +(472)- [X]

<worldspawn> <-- so gay
<worldspawn> FUCK
<worldspawn> wait

#23379 +(155)- [X]

<Ilya> derrickh, do you know these women that stick oranges into their rectums? they should NOT be allowed to do THAT with their own body!
<derrickh> A bunch of men sitting in washington have no right to tell a woman what she can or cant do with her body.

#30019 +(153)- [X]

<TexacoForKids> you need a good pickup line.. like "so you putting out
    or what?"

#34343 +(138)- [X]

<Moeser> you don't chase whiskey  
<Moeser> you run away from it 
<Moeser> very swiftly  
<Moeser> and you don't make sudden moves

#37045 +(25)- [X]

<PuffinFreshWog> i want my case
<PuffinFreshWog> and electric blue uv paint
<PuffinFreshWog> and uv tubing
<PuffinFreshWog> and blue led fan
<PuffinFreshWog> and uv cathode
<PuffinFreshWog> and a penis
<PuffinFreshWog> oops
<PuffinFreshWog> ummm
<PuffinFreshWog> quick, b4 you read !!!
<PuffinFreshWog> type /clear

#37077 +(154)- [X]

<trunck> i miss the times when i had my 2 dumps
<trunck> didn't need to go anywhere
<trunck> had everything in 2 ftps
<trunck> 100+k
<trunck> download
<trunck> now i suck
* Nec unzips his pants
<Nec> go ahead

#40475 +(1236)- [X]

<wirm> going to bed in 15 mins
<wirm> 10
<wirm> 12
<wirm> 14
<wirm> fucking download remain steady
<wirm> 13

#40494 +(364)- [X]

<Hawk> I'm gonna be tied up shortly...my brother and girlfriend are stopping by
<Roman> ...
<Monk> so which one's tying you up? your bro or your gf?

#40508 +(1967)- [X]

* rabid_si is going AFK.
* rabid_si is now known as rabid_si[AFK]
<DopeHat> Rabid is going to anally fist Kao.
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now DopeHat.
* because_he_is_busy_wanking has joined #infinity
<because_he_is_busy_wanking> Rabid
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now because_he_is_busy_wanking.

#40791 +(682)- [X]

<MadManDaz> I bought one of those camouflage shirts and put it in my closet. Now I can't find it.

#42388 +(32)- [X]

<ZeroHour> that NYLUG looked decent
<ZeroHour> if we did a Mississippi LUG
<ZeroHour> it would be a buncha grungy ass rednecks
<ZeroHour> with ghetoo laptops and paintless rides
<ZeroHour> rides where the paint peeled off
<ZeroHour> rides with different colors on each panel of the body of the vehicle

#55721 +(27)- [X]

<Anthony> identical twins?
<sHyGuY> tis true.
<Kagome> we're faternal
<Kagome> thank GOD
<Anthony> FATernal?

#58965 +(701)- [X]

* jesus takes off your pants.
* Sexypants is now known as Sexy
<jesus> rawr
<Sexy> jesus took off my pants
<Kitsa> the lord works in mysterious ways

#59830 +(-51)- [X]

<DislocatedStyle8> *God attacks True_Yoshi dealing .0000000000000000001 damage*

#62238 +(22)- [X]

<creepyfufu> what the fuck
<creepyfufu> university of texas is 50% female 49% male
<Ironchef> omfg
<Ironchef> whats the other
<[emoninja]ant> black
<[emoninja]ant> >:D

#68807 +(221)- [X]

<^catalyst> we're a bunch of geeks, we collectively know everything.
<WhiteyFord> yeah.. some of us even know how to get laid
<Redback> im sure a large majority know how WhiteyFord
<Redback> its just some strugle with the prerequsites

#70529 +(-50)- [X]

<whit> regardless that i like my womens to have badonkadonk asses
<whit> and drink 40s before i slam my big meat pole up there
<whit> nothing like the feeling that you are fucking one of those Big Arbys roast beef sandwiches with extra sauce.

#75369 +(669)- [X]

<Tsunemori> I could barely kept myself awake during the lecture....... but here I am......
<Serajadeyn> what lecture was it?
<Tsunemori> Introductory lectures to teh various subjects we'll be taking
*** Shadowcon (~Shadowcon@12-230-182-225.client.attbi.com) has joined #mtartanddrawing
<Tsunemori> Three people went for one hour each, but this last guy did it all in 10 minutes. I love him
<Tsunemori> I think Shadow will misunderstand what I'm saying.

#76045 +(231)- [X]

<sexygurlah> well ya he's kinda nice n everything..
<mAdmAn6> i guess its ok with you
<sexygurlah> we had sex together already, it was pretty great, actually
<mAdmAn6> oohh.. thats fast
<ohlyo> erm, now i wanna get laid.
<sexygurlah> one thing annoys me - my balls slap so hard when i'm having sex with him
<ohlyo> o_O
<mAdmAn6> ugh. you still wanna get laid?

#79895 +(441)- [X]

* Nordling 's sexual history changes constantly, depending on how much alcohol is imbibed. One drink: yeah, I fucked four girls at once! Three drinks: Hot sex with a model. 7 drinks: Fucked a fat chick. 11 drinks: pathetically masturbated to the chicks in HOT ROD magazine. 15+ drinks: replace said magazine with CAT FANCY.

#84891 +(277)- [X]

<control_m> hi.. im 21/m :) any girl here want to remote control my pc, and use and abuse it to make me slave? i have Radmin and Netbus 2,1 Servers running on and i have autoaccept on if you want to send me another program or something? msg me? :)

#98354 +(591)- [X]

<Measure> if I was a mom I wouldn't be anti-porn
<eva> my dad takes the 'well at least he's not gay' position
<waffle> eva: yeah, the jokes on him
<eva> shut up fag
<eva> IM NOT GAY

#106593 +(214)- [X]

<IWillBeRiteBack> however, I might point out that you've misapplied your sentiments
<IWillBeRiteBack> for they should obviously be applied to a certain pathetic individual named Stephan
<sKratch> the only thing that was misapplied was the condom that allowed you to be born

#115397 +(200)- [X]

<WiteRabit> the thing you gotta ask yourself is: do I really want snail shit on my face?

#201293 +(553)- [X]

Wintyr: I totally emasculated my father.
Wintyr: I took my little brother and put him in my old ballet recital dress, put lipstick and a bow on him, and then paraded him around the house in it...
Wintyr: In front of the dinner guests...who started, like, whistling at him and shit...
Wintyr: All the while he's like, "Look look! Cole pretty! Cole pretty!" and all happy about the dress.
Krylo: Hahahahahah
Wintyr: My dad is just standing there with this horribly lost look on his face, saying, "I...I do have a boy...right...?"
Wintyr: It kicked so much ass.

#217584 +(636)- [X]

<+mR_sCaRy> start killing stuff in task manager
*** seeen (seeen@CPE00055dea8987-CM0010954a5bde.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has left IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<+mR_sCaRy> not that one :P

#240030 +(139)- [X]

<Alby_Fox> if pirating movies was an olympic sport I'd be canada
<Alby_Fox> or some other country
<Alby_Fox> that loses

#244583 +(263)- [X]

<jeff> ok
<jeff> some dumb russian old lady asked me today where the exit was at work
<jeff> how did she get in the store in the first place

#253029 +(992)- [X]

<kasp> I got a shirt that had integral signs all over it,
and read: "Math is an integral part of life."  I got another shirt 
that has a small symbol of pi on the front, and 1000 digits of pi 
(followed by "...") on the back
<glasnost> wow kasp
<brouwer> i've never met you, but i want to beat you up

#256956 +(1107)- [X]

<Firehawk> so, in english class, we had to write this paper
<Firehawk> and my friend wrote in it "I don't like rapping", as in music
<Firehawk> only, when he typed it up, he typoed and it came out "I don't like raping"
<Firehawk> so my english teacher wrote "that's good to know" on his paper

#294869 +(526)- [X]

<Supamoochu> do you know durex have a guaruntee that their condoms will not get people preggers
<Supamoochu> i wonder how they refund
<Flamebird> with a free coathanger

#348034 +(237)- [X]

<Squatter> Liking Russians is one of those neutral things that doesn't say anything about someone
<Lush> Yes it does
<Lush> After Khaled told his friends about me, they all wrote to say that Russians are fabulous in the general vicinity of the bedroom
<Lush> I didn't know whether or not to be offended, so I just smiled politely
<Squatter> Really? I never heard that. Normally I think first and foremost of the arts, then brutally oppressive government
<Lush> I think the former does not contadict the statement about bedrooms
<Squatter> Neither does the latter

#480765 +(652)- [X]

<savage> Comic convention all day tomorrow, then off to a role playing (paper & pencil) convention for the remainder of the weekend :-)
<marv> role-playing a pencil sounds like it could get boring after a few days

#635705 +(58)- [X]

<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#638549 +(1908)- [X]

Omniscient Sean: I think we should terrorist start throwing in nuclear weapon noteworthy national security keywords to Allah otherwise innocuous conversations.
InfiniteSuperior: I Bin Laden agree.
Omniscient Sean: So how are Al Qaeda classes?
InfiniteSuperior: I have Al Sadr a psychology report Iran due Wednesday.
Omniscient Sean: Ah, that Tehran sucks.
Omniscient Sean: This bizarre Sadaam open-source database utility has all the Palestine trappings of other open-source utilities.
Omniscient Sean: In this WMD case, useless error messages.
InfiniteSuperior: Other than Pakistan that, classes are Libby going well.

#638999 +(684)- [X]

<HeatZync> what is the use of the calendar?
<RogueRunner> it's like DNS for days

#653828 +(2013)- [X]

<reva> so I was babysitting my cousin's kid the other day.  who's like, 15 months old.
<reva> he was trying to get up on the computer chair, so i put him up there.
<reva> he just starts randomly banging on the keyboard randomly
<reva> and the first thing that pops up says "Are you sure you want to delete Internet Explorer?" 
<reva> I hit "no" (because it's my parents computer).
<reva> so he starts hitting more keys...
<reva> the next thing that comes up: "Are you sure you want to delete Outlook Express?"
<reva> ...I've never had more hope for humanity than that moment.

#675190 +(599)- [X]

<postlogic> You should -never- go back and look at spur-of-the-moment written code.
<postlogic> It's like watching yourself throw up in replay.

#718608 +(-908)- [X]

<krad89> Why do black people wear pants so low?
<krad89> Spell saggin backwards.

#839563 +(1197)- [X]

[Bwafflz] <Veritas|jackals> if u know how to get ur dick out of a beer bottle (dont ask) PM ME plZ immeditately!!!!

#905920 +(-509)- [X]

<+Djiem> There, I'm troll-baiting my whole MSN friendlist
<+Djiem> "Oh shit, know what's happening December 2012 ?!?!"
<+Djiem> And if anyone asks me what, I'll say "I turn 30"

0.0507 21085 quotes approved; 535 quotes pending
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