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#1393 +(764)- [X]

<Guilty> Full house has so many good leasons
<Guilty> Like, living with another man in a basement at the age of 42 does not make you gay
<Guilty> And sharing

#1732 +(382)- [X]

<nailhead> Ya, How come there's albinos in all races but theres no ppl that are
the opposeite? like "alblackos" or sumpin?

#3580 +(350)- [X]

<Slant> Easy way to figure out which episodes Slant likes:
<Slant> for x in StarTrek.Episodes[]
<Slant> if (x.liked_by_everyone)
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = TRUE;
<Slant> else
<Slant> Slant.likes_episode[x] = FALSE;
<Slant> no wait.
<mightyflo> hahahahahahahaha
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = FALSE;
<animegoth> lol
<FutabaAoi> so you hate all of tng!
<mightyflo> it's funny when you can debug someone's real life code

#4123 +(433)- [X]

<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home

#4310 +(297)- [X]

<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly appreciate. ;-)

#4899 +(821)- [X]

<l0wkey> if i see something so fucking cute, like another rugrats movie or babe movie, im going on a spree
<sabbat> a killing spree i hope
<l0wkey> i was thinking along the lines of shopping spree, but suggestion noted

#5301 +(6633)- [X]

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

#6211 +(458)- [X]

<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees

#6369 +(262)- [X]

<Monk> All I have to say... is I'm so messed that when I turned off the blacklight downstairs
<Monk> that I imagined I was defeating a agent of the negaverse sent by queen beryl who was using it to sap our lifeforce

#11516 +(138)- [X]

<Al> Cooties is God's way of punishing straights

#11885 +(179)- [X]

@@ SignOff Jericon: (Installing Hotline 1.8 Be back later)
<xmatt> that requires signing off IRC?
<HHunter> Heh.. if it does, I'm not installing it.

#14210 +(240)- [X]

<scud> shadap i was referring to SKYLAB
<CCCP_Lord_Soth> scud has a learning center similar to skylab only its in his basement instead of space..also its a meth lab not a skylab

#14663 +(1846)- [X]

*** NeoCid[nothere] is now known as NeoCid[learninggermanhistory]
<imag|WC3> I thought it said "learning nigger man history" at first

#17961 +(119)- [X]

<BiMP> i got a complete computer part list to buy
<BiMP> oh what fun
<Einsteini> what will be even better is recieving all the parts, just like xmas :D
<BiMP> yeah
<BiMP> and they better not be in peices
<BiMP> *glares at santa*

#38618 +(293)- [X]

Quit: FliPmodE`!r43w_8@AC9934E0.ipt.aol.com  Kill by OperServ (You are banned from this network: Harassing opers on this network is not allowed. If you feel this akill is in error, GO FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE BITCH (ID: =ZYJgAzlVFwPzgQ<))

#39381 +(14)- [X]

(robbie-a): i have a cordless mouse and keyboard
(robbie-a): and a wireless A/V transmitter
(Sinada): great
(Sinada): i have a 9 inch cock
(Sinada): but i don't brag
(Kuros): Sinada: you lying sack of crap
(Sinada): well yeah you're right
(Sinada): it's 10
(robbie-a): i have a 2 inch cock

#40486 +(213)- [X]

<Soulfly-> come on simo we all know what u do on those long brisbane to sunshine coast train trips..
<simo> no
<simo> i wank
<Croew> oh god
* Croew has quit IRC

#42653 +(383)- [X]

<aq> dont ever tryu to beets a yiugolsavian at tequikla

#44718 +(327)- [X]

<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> lol...
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> haha
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union centre: priceless

#44820 +(1059)- [X]

<Mime> You had sex with the little mermaid!?
<PeeTree> hahaha
<Phyresis> that's gross
<Phyresis> does she even have a... a...
<Phyresis> does it smell like people?

#45382 +(351)- [X]

<xjeff> its better that u dont
* Orca hands xjeff a strange grammatical device...called...an APOSTROPHE!
<xjeff> ,,,,,,,,,,,,
<Orca> Pardner, that's known as a "comma" in this here parts.
<xjeff> excuse me for not having extreme intellagence
<Orca> Sorry, I guess I just expect at least basic grammatical skills out of people.

#48206 +(1947)- [X]

<spil0ink> is it pronounced live or live?
<Shit_Pifter> live
<spil0ink> thanks
<Shit_Pifter> np

#51163 +(269)- [X]

<Korbel> hey, at least IM not the one asking questions today
<[X]odus> wow
<Korbel> wow what?

#51830 +(528)- [X]

<Red_Sky> We'll call it "Shut the hell up", and you'll go first. 
<Red_Sky> Now, the object of this game, Deos, is to shut the hell up.
<Red_Sky> You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner.

#52501 +(307)- [X]

<Graphic_V> Remember when you turned 18 and you could finally start looking at those naked people on the internet?

#53338 +(327)- [X]

<AL9000> hehe, I called up one of my female friends today while I was naked
<AL9000> I was actually slapping it around to see if she'd ask what that noise was

#59744 +(211)- [X]

<+Tincan> omega could code his way out of a straight jacket!
<@omega> out?
<+Tincan> yeah i guess
<+Tincan> i dunno i just thought of it
<@omega> dude, the rate im going, im going to be coding myself INTO a straight jacket.
<+Tincan> lolol

#73169 +(867)- [X]

<D-BOY> MK, you shouldn't assume so much
<chockoman> YEAH

#76467 +(757)- [X]

<andy> I want to live in a camaro, not a van.
<WIP> You can't put a waterbed in a camaro.
<andy> that sounds suspiciously like a bet.

#86957 +(718)- [X]

#98039 +(178)- [X]

<Tkil> chaos_ -- oh... and if you're a beginner... don't worry overmuch about efficiency.
<billn> if I wanted efficency, I'd put bigger tires on my truck, so I could get the whole cat in one pass.

#98048 +(355)- [X]

<Pinkie2> some guy pissed me off today so i sat on my scanner to send him picture of my ass and the glass broke i just got back from getting 15 stictches
<Louey> pinkie you serious?
<Pinkie2> yup
<Dk__> lol
<Louey> and what was your excuse at the hospital?
<Dk__> you had a really bad day
<Pinkie2> sittin on one cheek right now
<Pinkie2> i told em i sat on a drinkin glass my kid put on chir
<Louey> ahhh
<Dk__> we'll probably be seeing flatbeds with weight restrictions now on
<Dk__> or warning labels, do not sit on glass
<Pinkie2> hehe
<Pinkie2> im gonna sue
<Louey> and now your out a scanner and no retribution for the fuck who made you sit on your scanner
<Pinkie2> next time i will just shit on the scanner and send that to him
<Dk__> ROFL
<Dk__> good idea
<Louey> haha
<|Korombos> Pinkie2 Sometimes man, it is best to remain quiet and thought a fool, than to do what you did, open your mouth and remove all doubt!
<Dk__> heh
<Louey> kor=confuscious
<Dk__> a inspirational quote from kor

#98686 +(278)- [X]

<+psychoace> damn fucking netsplits
<+psychoace> when will mirc solve this problem

#99022 +(877)- [X]

<Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for example
<Pat> its "neo"
<Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
<Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
<Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
<Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
<Pat> yes
<Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
<Pat> the oracle is really a guy
<Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
<Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's actually the one.
<Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out

#105880 +(330)- [X]

<GreenO> I made a stop-go lego-porn animation
<GreenO> It was sweet... it was inside a castle.  It involved a horse too

#133750 +(430)- [X]

<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to control the actions of mortals?

#285164 +(1652)- [X]

<KainSularei> I wish that it was possible to edit car honks
<KainSularei> sometimes someone tries to cut me off, but i always see it coming and speed ahead of them
<KainSularei> So I'm thinking I get some LOTR Gandalf bumper sticker on my back bumper
<KainSularei> I'd like to be able to hit the steering wheel and have them hear this booming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" as I go by

#373955 +(522)- [X]

arabella: you don't wear thongs bcuase they're comfy, you wear thongs becuase your boy likes them.
arabella: it's advertising.
firewalk: in some cases, false advertising.

#384331 +(642)- [X]

<+Badger[49]> ...would you pose nude for, like, a billion dollars? o.o
<+Nightwish> who wouldnt
<+Nightwish> o_o
<+Nightwish> then again i'd pose for like 5 cents and a candy

#398161 +(1059)- [X]

JBroder873: here's a mindjob
JBroder873: what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Key of Love II: it creates a rip in the very fabric of time
Key of Love II: which thus spawns a black hole.
JBroder873: ...damn.
Key of Love II: and kills a puppy.
JBroder873: ...awww.

#438881 +(2072)- [X]

<PeppyTheHamster> me and my friends went to a local gas station on lunch at school to buy some snacks and shit.
<PeppyTheHamster> we got inside, and the guy behind the counter was like
<PeppyTheHamster> "Why arent you in school?"
<PeppyTheHamster> We told him we were on lunch and he was like "Good. stay in school, its good for you."
<PeppyTheHamster> I turned to him and said "Yeah! So we can work in a gas station!"
<PeppyTheHamster> He looked at me like I was the anti-christ. As we were leaving he went on the intercom and spoke into his microphone "Please ignore the homosexuals leaving the store."

#453350 +(538)- [X]

<sukumade> i'm out like michael j fox in jenga

#509956 +(-1668)- [X]

Shosh912: when tthy say you can miss 6 classes
Shosh912: does that mean you can miss 6 classes
Shosh912: or 5
Qtip: 6
Shosh912: oh

#533207 +(1837)- [X]

<Metalcore> works now, though
<Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet
<Metalcore> fast as hell
<Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke bottle
<Metalcore> in hurricane force winds
<Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope
<Metalcore> of teflon

#572480 +(1073)- [X]

<DoomDemon> I have good news and bad news.
<DoomDemon> The good news is that I had some really great sex with my wife last night.
<DoomDemon> And she even screamed "Oh John!" during orgasm.
<PhylumDeviant> isnt ur name dave?
<DoomDemon> Yeah, that's the bad news...

#587801 +(6463)- [X]

silic0nsilence: So it's black friday at CompUSA.
Slider: Yea
silic0nsilence: We were to open up at 12am. It's 11:58pm and there is a HUGE line of blood-thirsty, hard drive-wanting, maniacs. So my friend dares me to scream we have one xbox360.
Slider: Holy shit.
silic0nsilence: So he gives me $20. I go up to the gate and scream, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE JUST RECIEVED ONE XBOX360!!" Immediatly people are storming the gate, passing me money through the cage to get it. They were screaming and knocked over this old lady. My boss just looks at me with these red eyes. In them, I saw fear and rage.
Slider: Omg you dumb shit!
Slider: Wait a second, it's 12:46A, and it's black Friday. What did this happen minutes ago? Shouldn't you be at work?
silic0nsilence: Yeah..
silic0nsilence: Pretty sure I don't work at CompUSA any more..

#648048 +(407)- [X]

balial: docvin: 24 blows
docvin: I know, but I can't stop watching.
docvin: It's like a fat stripper.
docvin: OK, that wasn't a very good analogy.

#742824 +(401)- [X]

<SixFeet-> rejected by a computer script, new low in my life
<NTT> well, at least u didnt have cybersex with one of those bots that pm's you here on mirc
<SixFeet-> well i tried, but it replied with "lets just be friends..."
<SixFeet-> =(

#745401 +(524)- [X]

Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3?
IDLon2000: No
Lord Kagemaro: :/
Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine

#773608 +(218)- [X]

<Haddock> there are easy marks on CPT5
<Haddock> it gives you some html
<Haddock> and you have to draw what the page would look like
<Haddock> you have to be careful not to confuse <br> and <p> and shit like that
<Haddock> but they're worth like 5-7 marks
<Numi> lol
<Numi> i'd laugh if they gave you wankers of questions like
<Numi> "draw this page, which features browser-specific bugs, as it would render in IE6"
<Haddock> lol
<Haddock> i'd just draw a bsod
<Numi> HAHA

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