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#1861 +(1195)- [X]

<synthmesc> is it narcassitic to jack off to a picture of yourself?
<Digested> synthmesc: it seems to fit the definition
<synthmesc> :/
<Digested> synthmesc: is it a picture of yourself fucking someone else?
<synthmesc> it's a picture of me jacking of to a picture of myself
<Digested> INFINITE LOOP

#2091 +(678)- [X]

<DMC[mav2]> human/animal hair can be stuffed inside panty hose and used to suck up oil out from an oil spill
<DMC[mav2]> did you faggots know that

#3510 +(351)- [X]

<Demamas> RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR! *explodes*
<Nyphur> BAD! NO BONE FOR Demamas! BACK IN YOUR CAGE !!
*** Signoff: Demamas (Ping timeout)
<Nyphur> oops
<Nyphur> I forgot I left his cage off the server

#3752 +(225)- [X]

<ChewToy> hrm... my girlfriend should be getting off work soon
<ChewToy> i should get really really stoned before she gets here
<spazzer> actually
<spazzer> chew
<spazzer> i got off your girlfriend this afternoon first
<ChewToy> spazzer she's fucking hot :)
<ChewToy> she puts out!
<spazzer> hence, i said i got off of her first
<ChewToy> she sucks good dick doesnt she?
<spazzer> i was getting close, and she told me to put my finger in her ass
<ChewToy> she's a manager at a victorias secret
<ChewToy> :>
* KNG_SNK wonders how chew scored that
<dazemobil> he ordered her in the catalog =o

#4129 +(241)- [X]

<SilverJag> babyd did you get any play yet?
<eldee> babyd gets as much play as my atari

#4627 +(357)- [X]

<Ear> ARSENIC IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY BECAUSE IT KILLS CHILDREN.
<Khross> YES
<Ear> DEAD BABIES EQUALS PROFIT.
<Khross> LESS MINORITY KIDS = LESS WELFARE
<Khross> MORE PROFIT
<Ear> IT ALSO PROVIDES FREE BACON.
<Khross> YES, OF COURSE

#6843 +(268)- [X]

<Logan> What kind of router takes 30 minutes to "cycle."
<glasnost> i think we all know the answer to that
<Logan> I don't think they're using an NT box for routing.

#10165 +(622)- [X]

BeHeMoTh101 : dude, this one time in school i was looking at this advertisement to a christian club
BeHeMoTh101 : and on the poster it said "who carries your load? jesus does."
BeHeMoTh101 : and i was like, wtf it's the scrotum

#11115 +(98)- [X]

<@brosie    > you know what sucks
<@brosie    > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie    > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie    > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie    > and you get gangrene
<@brosie    > in your nuts

#16133 +(341)- [X]

<MassMedia> It's disturbing how many people in here know what the word bukkake means...

#17002 +(205)- [X]

<ryano> i ain't drank dick for shit in months
<reston> try a lemondrop bodyshot
<reston> get some fly bitch and rub sugar on her tummy... lick it, take a shot of vodka
<reston> and then eat a lemon
<jonathans> is that some kind of homosexual alternative to tequila shots
<reston> yea jon
<reston> but its good
<jonathans> sugar instead of salt
<jonathans> lemon instead of lime
<jonathans> a chick instead of your hand
<jonathans> its beginning to make sense to me.

#24767 +(42)- [X]

<confuted> some israeli guy just started here
<confuted> whats the url to that suicide bomber flash game?

#30513 +(951)- [X]

(Momanon) I had a friend in the dorms that went into this guy's room, put on "ice ice baby" at
full blast on repeat and locked the guy's room
(Momanon) The guy had death threats stapled to his door.
(Momanon) He didn't come back for like 3 hours.

#40725 +(499)- [X]

<Professor> I got a phone call asking for the Gay Homofag at work today.
<Professor> Surprisingly, I forwarded it to the right person.

#41338 +(569)- [X]

<Heather21> hi
<negativepositive> who are you?
<Heather21> just a wife home alone
<Heather21> hubby is out
<negativepositive> good - start cleaning the house before he comes home and hits you some more

#41470 +(159)- [X]

<orion> Darwin 6.0.2 x86-compatible
<orion> someone explain please
<timmo> wtf is Darwin 6.0.2?
<Duker900> natural selection in your operating system!
<timmo> ya man i dont know about having something called darwin run my computer
<timmo> youd be writing an email to your bitch
<timmo> and it would be like
<timmo> YOU WEAK EMO BITCH
<timmo> and delete your shit

#44296 +(259)- [X]

<Wolfer> kbhit: How can we help you?
<kbhit> wolfer, deop chanserv in #outlawz
<kbhit> he's not a member
<kbhit> and he keeps getting oped

#44373 +(140)- [X]

<Guff> .l
<Guff> lol
<HipPriest> LOL@guff having a /l command

#47307 +(240)- [X]

<lech> porn and programming, what could be better
<antiuser> hmm, a real girl?
<lech> well that's the source

#49201 +(-109)- [X]

<SiNN3R> %%  %%%%%%
<SiNN3R> %%  %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%%%%%
<SiNN3R>     %%  %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%  %%
<Triffix> heh, that's nice.
<noss> how cute.
<noss> now my mind is all converted and i feel that jews should gassed to death.

#49669 +(330)- [X]

<Toby> can people stop useing the internet its getting slow for me

#49851 +(701)- [X]

<MegaPucko> whats the street outside liverpool street station called?
<MegaPucko> the big one =\
<MegaPucko> wait
<MegaPucko> nm
<MegaPucko> im dumb
<Goatman> No shit.

#50129 +(366)- [X]

<Kaloth> ah, if only there were a mystical place, where beer flowed freely from an ice cold source
<Kaloth> and peanuts were free
<Kaloth> and men of all ages could gather and talk about tits and sport
<Kaloth> ah, if only.
<Kaloth> wait a minute
* Kaloth bbl. pub.

#52518 +(103)- [X]

<poo_al> i used to have "bromothymol blue" in my memory buffer.
<poo_al> then i copied the girlskissing url
<poo_al> and pasted that into my lab
<poo_al> too bad i found it
<poo_al> my teacher would have given me a 110% if i left it in :(

#56509 +(110)- [X]

<MMMaven> I can see the headlines now... "super-modified AIBO captures bin laden!"

#56748 +(176)- [X]

<TonicBH> [Tonic Hedgehog's mIRC Software] - [Windows XP Uptime: 2wks 1day 19hrs 43mins 24secs] - [mIRC v6.02 Uptime: 4days 11hrs 31mins 40secs]
<TonicBH> O_O
<TonicBH> 15 days ;/
<TonicBH> ph33r :/
<Sep> wtf
<Sep> turn your damn computer off

#74087 +(767)- [X]

[aphr0] nothing like relaxing after a hefty civ3 session with some simpsons and some chicken gravy rice
[WillLab] you have to relax after playing a game?
[WillLab] like the game is the stressful part of your day?
[aphr0] you try battling 5 nations
[WillLab] I hate you

#79952 +(178)- [X]

<Tom-Servo> I pity this girl i'm talking to

#80594 +(120)- [X]

<]KO[-Spansk> get them to pick me
<Dark_Hawk> I'm workin' on it
<Dark_Hawk> There ya go
* Dark_Hawk wipes his mouth

#80648 +(83)- [X]

<+Sasuke_Uchiha> Do you know how much beer I've had today...WAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much so if I seem dumber then suaul thats wy
<+MegamanX2K> Underage drinking
<+MegamanX2K> it only kills brain cells that were never there in the first place
<+MegamanX2K> Sasuke=Poster Child

#81732 +(28)- [X]

<Arawn> wtf is up w/ computer geeks thinking they're black?

#93196 +(747)- [X]

<Q> i need a remote control, and when you press a button on it, it makes your female friends stop being weird
<Lestat> I have one of those.
<Lestat> It's called a gun.

#100336 +(404)- [X]

<ch> Cn linux just drop some chrcters from the keybord or is it more likely tht my lptop keybord is bd?

#105195 +(148)- [X]

<D> the #amish dont believe in pr0n
<D> :P
<D> well, they do
<D> but it's all ankle-flashing to them

#105296 +(56)- [X]

<evilpie> what the fuck is wtf
<cardcheat> World Trade Federation
<SteamedHams> world trade fire
<cardcheat> Women That Fuck
<SteamedHams> Wow That's Funny
<cardcheat> Well, Try Farting
<SteamedHams> What The Nigger
<cardcheat> as a respected leader in the african-american community, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using that word
<SteamedHams> hey it'll get me on bash

#131553 +(2313)- [X]

<Cross> Oh, wow. Old school papers.
<Cross> This one was on 'alternative energy sources'. This is from near the end, when I was really too tired to be writing:
<Cross> "Wind energy is a method of collecting power from the blowing of the wind. Not only is this a clean and renewable energy source, but it can actually displace excess Carbon Dioxide in an area. Problems behind wind energy also exist. It is not available in many areas, and requires a lot of money to build. The wind turbines can also interfere with television and radio signals and cause noise pollution. Also, birds can fly into the rotors."
<Cross> "Then they have to send the janitor Steve out to clean the thing, and it just ruins his day. Then he goes home and beats his kids. So if you support wind energy, you support domestic violence."
<Cross> That's when you know you're tired.
<Herring> That is awesome.

#137313 +(233)- [X]

<Joe> reich as in shut the fuck up, you're a fag
<Reich> OOh
<Reich> coming from a guy who had cyber-sex witha guy
<Sabdo> ...
<Sabdo> wtf do you think the internet is FOR?

#138576 +(243)- [X]

Syn0P: RESPOND
aj64804: no

#167081 +(314)- [X]

<dekk> your mom lost her virginity in a penis accident
<[b&]shoez> i lost my penis in a virginity accident

#193314 +(434)- [X]

<Jonathan> anyone here seen the movie pi?
<Yesenia> yea, I saw it 3.14 times.

#203786 +(834)- [X]

< DiEsElBoY-DnB> i gotta a pretty hot woman, she cooks and cleans for me too
<@Scruffypoo> DiEsElBoY-DnB: and every night you kiss her before she tucks you in, cause you love your mommy

#225866 +(242)- [X]

* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters" part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar

#239439 +(265)- [X]

(+{-ReV-}) http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~husainm/Animated/milkit.gif thats stupid the glass isn't even filling up how am i supposed to believe it then
(jizzypop_) hehe
(jizzypop_) you just have to have faith
(+{-ReV-}) like the song
(@J_bomb) rev it's a new GIF version
(@J_bomb) if you wait long enough, they'll fill up
(@J_bomb) it has extra frames
(+{-ReV-}) ok
(@J_bomb) just sit and stare
(+{-ReV-}) i'll put my finger on the screen to mark the progression of the milk

20 minutes later...

(+{-ReV-}) ok dammit
(+{-ReV-}) i fucking quit
(+{-ReV-}) screw the milk

#537240 +(1129)- [X]

(anuj) Strangest thing happened today.
(anuj) I saw one of those Progessive Insurance SUVs heading towards an accident scene.
(anuj) And the SUV got smacked by an 18-wheeler because it ran a red light.
(anuj) The irony didn't hit me until just now.

#662788 +(-186)- [X]

<ByeRights> what is it? firewire?
<@Pugh> erm...Serial
<ByeRights> probably uses a universal serial bus then
<ByeRights> oh wait, USB...

#743806 +(597)- [X]

Kris: Happy Pi Day!
Dean: I don't celebrate pi day, but rather pi approximation day on july 22nd or 7/22

#835413 +(2035)- [X]

<kuiper> My mom got me a toilet brush for Christmas.
<sic> lmao
<sic> have you been using it?
<kuiper> Well, yeah, but it hasn't been working too well.  In fact, I think I may just go back to using paper.

#842650 +(384)- [X]

<Helen> Well my husband never yells at me
<Helen> Neither he swears nor say rude stuff to ppl
<Helen> And he almost never stays late by computer
<Helen> And he never cheats on me and never goes to that horrible drinking places like pubs and stuff
<Helen> Isn't he great?! ^_^
<DialSoft> Hmmmm..........
<DialSoft> Try poking him with a stick
<DialSoft> He seems pretty dead

#849870 +(-431)- [X]

<PufF-> think im gonna wait to smoke up til i get to work
<PufF-> i dont like driving high

#857578 +(2079)- [X]

<jess> So whats the difference between the mormons and the muslims??
<jess> The mormons want their 72 virgins now

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