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#236 +(3137)- [X]

<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia

#926 +(568)- [X]

(|Chris) i've blown enough snot out of my nose today to make a fucking bukkake film

#1628 +(614)- [X]

<reflector> I'm skinny and I have a big nose, but girls still let me touch them sometimes
<Viseus> reflector: Yeah me too. In packed subway trains and stuff

#2018 +(309)- [X]

<MadHatter> I wish I could get a job as a stunt penis
<MadHatter> like for porno movies
<MadHatter> I don't look like a pornstar(not that I'm ugly, I just don't have that look), but I have a porno penis

#3318 +(334)- [X]

<@Epyon[UOPG]> Giren's Greed is being remade on PS2
* @Epyon[UOPG] faints
*** Joins: Buster
<Nomadic_Dragon> What was it for originally?
<Buster> self-arousal
<Buster> im pretty sure.

#3327 +(453)- [X]

<Pluton> what extension is an Adobe eBook?
<feerit> .gay

#3976 +(228)- [X]

<therioman> at this rate i'll end up working for some company, being married and having 4 kids
<therioman> which i will ensure doesn't happen
<therioman> i shall barricade myself with 45U racks

#5533 +(344)- [X]

<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)

#5652 +(195)- [X]

<JibbleWork> no amount of work would be able to get my clenched cheeks open

#6912 +(403)- [X]

<pvx> why do these psycho's always msg my bot?
<xf> Because that is what psychos do.
<MenTaLguY> more to the point, why do a majority of them seem to be from Brazil?
<xf> Because that is where psychos live.

#6987 +(186)- [X]

<@vampyr> clearly Trent Reznor is a debian user

#9209 +(352)- [X]

<Disco`Stu> fat girls need loving too
<kodos> someone has to take one for the team
<kodos> i vote its luke
<lukeiyo-e> damn you fuckers
<lukeiyo-e> alright.. someone pass me a torch

#13567 +(175)- [X]

<SarahS> You can remove testicles?
<Phenom6996> Yep
<Phenom6996> and breasts
<Phenom6996> It requires special tools
<ajplus1> yeah....a knife

#20347 +(418)- [X]

<claybats|work> yay, now it says wb to everyone on my users list :)
* placido|working has left #MTFN
* placido|working has joined #MTFN
<claybats|work> wb placido|working
<placido|working> wb placido|working
<claybats|work> see?
<placido|working> Thanks claybats.... didn't know you cared. :D
<Cancel_Man> he doesn't- that's why he made a script that does

#20750 +(37)- [X]

<Wing_Zero> cyxx: http://www.d8.dion.ne.jp/~marquis/yamato31.jpg
<cyxx> that's like...6
<cyxx> wait..fuck
* cyxx curses his nick
<cyxx> I mean
* Nakago curses 6
* cyxx gives up and goes to the corner

#21000 +(43)- [X]

[03:11] (twistedps) i believe im highly antisocial.
[03:11] <aqualyricist> ha
[03:11] <nightbreed420> me to tps
[03:12] <aqualyricist> i am so antisocial that i write down my orders at fast food carryouts
[03:12] <aqualyricist> drive throughs are a bitch tho
[03:12] (twistedps) haha yeah thats damn antisocial.

#27441 +(304)- [X]

(|Robot|Bender): Kronos, so angry. So mad. so full of hate. Have a salad, a lite beer and take a nap.
(jot): salad, lite beer? you want to make him happy, not gay

#34100 +(165)- [X]

<tima> my opinion always was that having a webcam is the first step to getting caught mastrubation

#34211 +(30)- [X]

<Khrath> brael fucks himself in the ass cause he's thinks it would make him gay to let his boyfriend
<Brael> so true

#39141 +(24)- [X]

<PenDragon> ((don't... I don't find it funny... and neither does Kelli...))
<Tarl> (Weelll..for some reason, I consider my amusement more important than your own.)
<Tarl> (Besides.)
<Tarl> (Playing brother sister, while being "sexually active"..)
<Tarl> (It kind of opens yourself up to ridicule.)

#39276 +(11)- [X]

<robbie> :D\-<
* robbie was kicked by c-rOCK (punch.)
* robbie has joined #geekissues
<@c-rOCK> wheres your precious -user now? muahahahahahahaha
<robbie> hey im not +fag anymore
<robbie> whats that?
<The_Llama> something is awry
<robbie> what does awry mean?

#40653 +(122)- [X]

<fredrik> i once slipped while wanking
<fredrik> hurt my head badly

#40725 +(503)- [X]

<Professor> I got a phone call asking for the Gay Homofag at work today.
<Professor> Surprisingly, I forwarded it to the right person.

#43835 +(228)- [X]

<stryhf> why do people persist in continuing to write SHIT APPLICATIONS IN JAVA
<stryhf> writing SHIT in JAVA doesn't make it ANY LESS SHITTY

#45131 +(157)- [X]

<DarQ> Just think about it... Who would know better how to please a man ? A man or a woman ?
<Sway> damn right
<Sway> a man
<Sway> a rough and hairy man
<Sultan> Your sick, lol
<DarQ> That's not sick...
<DarQ> That's being realistic.

#45695 +(153)- [X]

*IgnusDei learned that no matter how bad things are, it will never be quite as bad as the time he masturbated in the adult secton of the video store...which of course was under vidcam surveillance
<IgnusDei> ZING!
<m|tutorial> if i didnt like the current topic
<m|tutorial> that would be there right now
<DrFurious> it could be worse
<DrFurious> you could have masturbated in the gay adult section of the video store

#49851 +(705)- [X]

<MegaPucko> whats the street outside liverpool street station called?
<MegaPucko> the big one =\
<MegaPucko> wait
<MegaPucko> nm
<MegaPucko> im dumb
<Goatman> No shit.

#60049 +(144)- [X]

<DooD> and for the record i worship kim -_-
<``Erik> kim? one of my playtoys is named kim
<DooD> you name your blowup dolls?

#75563 +(472)- [X]

<Teromen> but have you ever tried doing it to a goat? they look really soft
<Teromen> erm, wrong window :|

#76943 +(709)- [X]

<Spike> I want to write an OS that gives error messages in laymen's terms
<Spike> "Your computer is fuckin broke yo. Reset this shit"

#77904 +(11757)- [X]

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

#80868 +(127)- [X]

<OZ-Cpt-Slade|collegeboy> broadband is sweet, its like sex just faster

#81979 +(348)- [X]

* Squizzle is now known as Love
* Scourge punches Love in the face.
* Love avoids Scourge forever.
<Love> (This is called an "allegory".)
<Love> (Which derives from the Greek for "Scourge will never have a date in his life".)

#89750 +(859)- [X]

<god> afk, seventh day

#95989 +(1717)- [X]

<prence> oh
<prence> my
<prence> god
<prence> i just hit the print button
<prence> instead of save
<prence> on some porn
<prence> and its printing out on my moms printer
<prence> and im upstairs
<prence> and cant do anything about it

#106874 +(255)- [X]

<BeigeGoo> Because I'm on a different computer.
* E_Megas is tempted to kick the idle Beige just for fun.
* Trev-MUN watches Beige run over to the other computer to show he's not idle.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> Nope, I'm not idle! *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo> Not idle either!
<BeigeGoo> Megas, that would be wrong.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> Are you idle? *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo> Nope. :(
<Beige> I agree.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> We're not idle, Megas. *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo> Yes. :(
<Trev-MUN> * Beige was kicked by E_Megas (LACEYDOOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAA)
<Trev-MUN> <BeigeGoo> ... >(
<BeigeGoo> Thanks for the re-enactment.
<Trev-MUN> Anytime.

#118480 +(63)- [X]

<MB|Linux> so Python is a good language to start out with?
<Mike|Linux> heh sure
<Mike|Linux> That's what I am doing right now.. Or breaking another part of linux. ;)
<MB|Linux> I rememeber the old Tandy/Commodore basic :)
<MB|Linux> lol
<MB|Linux> Cool
<MB|Linux> 10 do this
<MB|Linux> 20 do that
<MB|Linux> 30 do this again
<MB|Linux> 40 run
<MB|Linux> 50 go fuck yourself
<MB|Linux> lol
<MB|Linux> 60 go get some food, this will take awhile.
<MB|Linux> Hmmm

#123552 +(219)- [X]

Dough Girl7777:  my grandma is funny
CherryOnion1979:  okay
Dough Girl7777:  she tries to spoil me, but she has like no money, so she gives me plants 
Dough Girl7777:  and she gets all excited when she gives em to me

#127820 +(816)- [X]

<@Daedalus> I think any "how to" thing that starts "so you've" is solid gold
<@Daedalus> "So you've decided open a hockey rink"
<@Synergistic> Thats weird
<@Daedalus> "So you've decided to mail a kitten"
<@Daedalus> "So you've got cancer"

#136344 +(29)- [X]

onkeybutt87: what are you up to?
UpDogWkeBoarder: just chatin, i might have pancacks for dinner
onkeybutt87: that sentence makes me sad
onkeybutt87: a pancack?
UpDogWkeBoarder: lol
UpDogWkeBoarder: i'm typing to like three people
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's a lot for me
onkeybutt87: trust me, it's a lot for us too
UpDogWkeBoarder: hahaha
UpDogWkeBoarder: you type fast
UpDogWkeBoarder: i don't
onkeybutt87: yeah, I also type well
UpDogWkeBoarder: yeah
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's trure

#167145 +(247)- [X]

<@maroo> I jumped off a bridge into a river once... they asked me what I was doing... I told them I was LARPing a fish.

#386777 +(492)- [X]

<Abby> nice language
<Abby> you kiss your mother with that mouth?
<nether> no, i kiss yours

#418790 +(1534)- [X]

<@drift_nax> i had 2 options
<@drift_nax> close the porn
<@drift_nax> or pull up my pants

#561386 +(360)- [X]

<Ryuhou> bravo is pissing me off with its "movies that changed the world!" crap.
<Ryuhou> they keep saying "men stopped having affairs in 1987 after fatal attraction."
<Ryuhou> i'm sorry.  what world are you from?
<Ryuhou> of course
<Ryuhou> they follow that up with a
<Ryuhou> IT STAYS IN VEGAS commercial

#602243 +(1034)- [X]

<Gunth> before i was a teen i thought "Masturbate" was some kind of master or bachelor degree... so when my teachers asked me what i wanted to do with my life.. i told them "masturbate"

#643951 +(264)- [X]

FuzzGod5: The next time someone asks me to write a java program that runs over a network connection, I'm going to print out an entire ream of paper with "try/catch" blocks, crush their heads with it, then jump on their corpse and shout "WRYYYYYYYYYYYY!" triumphantly.

#687224 +(60)- [X]

9mm: I suppose Steve Irwin should have worn sunblock to protect from harmful rays.

#837510 +(2375)- [X]

<SimonJester> What is JFGI anyway?
<SimonJester> Never mind... googled it...

#891596 +(1097)- [X]

<War> what's a spectral wolf?
<Herr_apa> It's the Fourier transform of a regular wolf, duh

#963026 +(515)- [X]

<Church> Sup folks
<BytesAndCoffee> Church: do you program?
<Church> Ja.
<BytesAndCoffee> more functional or more imperative?
<Church> Mix.
<BytesAndCoffee> Church: deplorable, church and state should never mix!
<Church> Heh
<Church> Oh god. It clicked.
<Church> Fuck you.
<Church> That joke has layers... >_>

0.0643 21090 quotes approved; 1119 quotes pending
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