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#771 +(86)- [X]

<c-rOCK> I CANT WAIT TO SEE THAT COLLEGE GIRL GET RAPED BY A ALIIGATOR

#893 +(107)- [X]

<Keiichi> It takes brains to grow weed

#1142 +(547)- [X]

<BlackDeth> "Disabling this device will cause it to stop functioning. Is this what you want?"
<BlackDeth> hah
<BlackDeth> stupid

#3857 +(246)- [X]

<Hiko> "all the people in #bemani are child molesters"
<nitrifik_> I'm not.
<mightyflo> not according to swedish law, anyway
<nitrifik_> exactly.
<nitrifik_> I have never sexed anyone below 15, so I'm all legal.

#7220 +(363)- [X]

*** DarkElf changes topic to "Sundancer Kicked Hiro's butt at Pool!! :) that's Mr 'I have my own table at home' Gay Helicopter Pilot Hiro (in case you were wondering)"
<Hiro> *growl*
*** Hiro changes topic to "I lost ONE FUCKING GAME to her ok?"
*** DarkElf changes topic to "yes, but to a WOMAN ?"
<Hiro> she isnt a women
<Hiro> she is a beast from the pits of hell
<Hiro> a demon possessed her
<DarkElf> see - reading that bible thing may have helped you... and you laughed at the people in #alive
*** DarkElf changes topic to "Hiro converts to christianity"
<Hiro> de: even jesus would have lost that fucking game of pool
<Hiro> I need a gun, so I can shoot myself
<DarkElf> Hiro: why don't you just stab yoursefl in the eye with the pool cue.....
<DarkElf> hang on though, going on sunny's description of you skill you'll probably miss *grin

#7794 +(804)- [X]

<RighteousSuicide> I was running around today like a retard
<RighteousSuicide> and I hear a BANG
<RighteousSuicide> i couldn't figure out what it was
<RighteousSuicide> then I noticed I had run into a dumpster

#7913 +(295)- [X]

#8701 +(75)- [X]

*** jamesm sets mode: -snt
<jamesm> dunno why people keep fucking up the channel modes, like, who gives a fuck
<jamesm> oh my god, someone protect IRC!
<jamesm> fucking choad munching morons
*** cactoid sets mode: +k jamesmisgay

#16098 +(282)- [X]

<madlocust> notmany women have me so into them that I can see them as a great friend
<madlocust> and in her case...my best friend
<|ced> so write a poem, fag

#16848 +(308)- [X]

< espo> this movie would be better if Mel Brooks made it
< h2odragon> schindler's list?

#20056 +(192)- [X]

<followme> I hate
<followme> bitchs
<followme> with a uq
<followme> less then mine

#20623 +(337)- [X]

[aq] i love irc quotes
[ob0t] i hate them
[ob0t] i always end up looking like a retard

#24745 +(203)- [X]

* Seph gives potatoe a *Super Tight And Really Super Erotic Groping Fondling Earth Shattering Sonic Boom Oh Gawd If You Stop I'll Kill You Better Than Heaven Yet Hotter Than Hell Watch Where Ya Stick Yer Hands Super Huge Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Don't Ya Dare Stop Touching Me Huggeroonies And A Knees Are Shaking Earth Is Trembling My Heart Has Stop Beating Passionit Knees Shaking Lots A Goosebumps Was That The Ground Moving Passionate Wet Deep
<Seph> um....
<Seph> wrong one

#26494 +(514)- [X]

<cruisinxx7> I'll be busy right after school because I have a track meet
<Akira> oh
<Akira> can I watch your meat?
<cruisinxx7> ...
<cruisinxx7> I'd rather you watch the race instead

#33687 +(332)- [X]

<tamasutra> someone earlier today thought i was 16
<_Mage_> Is that insulting or a compliment?
<tamasutra> nah, i take it as a compliment
<tamasutra> i don't mind looking young at all
<tamasutra> especially given the business i'm in
<_Mage_> er...

#36459 +(238)- [X]

<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now.

#36802 +(973)- [X]

<_Superfro> how long does a blister take to heal?
<minime--> super its in your best interest that you stop masturbating
<Willacuz> you know you masterbate too much , when u see a towel and u get horny
<minime--> you know you masturbate too much when the air coming out of the a/c vent gives you a hardon
<Willacuz> i dont get that one?
<minime--> neither do I?
<_Superfro> you know you masturbate too much when you are afraid to use a dirty sock
<aNuBiS-> you know you masturbate too much when all you guys wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<Willacuz> aNuBiS- u know you masterbate too much when you masterbate to us talking about when all you guys wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<aNuBiS-> Willacuz: dont make me take that one a step further...
<aNuBiS-> ...cause that would require thinking, and Im too busy masturbating

#37338 +(470)- [X]

<Filia> If you follow the other two stars in the cup of the dipper (Megrez and Phecda) down below the cup, you will get to Regulus.html, the brightest star in Leo.
<Filia> i'll remember that :D
<Havoc> ....
<Havoc> The brightest star in Leo has a file extension?

#39012 +(308)- [X]

<tngkicksbum> that book sucked ass
<tngkicksbum> there was no sex in it!
<tngkicksbum> and the violence wasn't intense enough
<tngkicksbum> and there was no math either
<tngkicksbum> i liked reading euclid's elements
<fizzie> so euclidean geometry has violence intense enough for your tastes? interesting.

#43747 +(244)- [X]

<alicetr> is anyone good with win2k networking?
<fatbrain> alicetr: just ask
<MBoffin> Maybe he did ask. Maybe he's doing a survey.

#49054 +(62)- [X]

<RushMore> she couldnt stay away from my animal magnitsm
<RushMore> or is it my immense gravometric field
<issuez> no thats me
<issuez> shes in my time zone
<issuez> im fat
<issuez> it all revolves around me

#49827 +(37)- [X]

<MarKuss> hello , i got a question guys...
<SephiLoTb> shoot boy
<MarKuss> i got a small hard drive here at the collage and i really need more space... so what should i do?
<SephiLoTb> move to a bigger room :))))))))
<MarKuss> ha ha ha very funny

#51094 +(105)- [X]

<Kae> dangit, I'm missing two bytes
<Epesh> Kae: make them up!
* l_oke hands kae a unicode character
<Epesh> there's only 65000 combinations
* Kae pads with 0's

#52136 +(533)- [X]

<LIQuid> my mom is convinced that i need milk
<LIQuid> yeah well i tell her that i dont need to be artifically breast feed by genetically altered and enhanced cows
<LIQuid> all she says "dont make me get your father"
<Deke> your dad is going to breastfeed you?

#61979 +(185)- [X]

<Jin> Wtf?!
* Jin kicks Quaggs' ass just for looking so fucked
<ramoth4> jin you don't have to kick someone to hurt them
<ramoth4> just kind of saunter up
<ramoth4> and lie down
<ramoth4> *squish*
<ramoth4> "oops sorry"
*** ramoth4 was kicked off #spidermantc by Jin (*squish*)

#62044 +(228)- [X]

<hpr-vb6> $2 bills pwn
<Cracker`tv> KEEP THE 2S!
<[LIQuid]> why?!
<Cracker`tv> take them to strip clubs when you get older... strippers dont look too hard and they think they're twenties!!!

#75802 +(411)- [X]

<Volt9000> Grog is where it's at
<AL9000> Yar!
<Volt9000> Do you mock me?
<AL9000> No, I'm agreeing with you
<Volt9000> LIAR! You mock me with your pirate attitude!
<Volt9000> I'll make you WALK TEH PLAKN!!!!11
<AL9000> ONLY IF I GET TO SWAB YUOR POOP DECKS!!!1
* AL9000 yanks off Volt's pants
<AL9000> YAARRR! PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!

#76707 +(176)- [X]

chefantiuser: I'm playing that 20 questions game where the computer tries to guess what you're thinking
chefantiuser: the computer is dumb tho
ellesmelle: hahaha, aren't they though
chefantiuser: You were thinking of whiskey.
chefantiuser: Do most people use this daily? you said Sometimes, I say No
chefantiuser: YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT KNOW MY UNCLE ANTONIO

#80566 +(426)- [X]

<whythehell> who were you talking about?
<RobotBebop> whythehell: Canada.
<whythehell> sorry
<whythehell> who were you talking aboot?

#81736 +(145)- [X]

<SROL> Alright! I just gave advice on which underwear/bra combo to wear to a party to my New York ho :D
<TheBaskinator> What's his name?

#88779 +(59)- [X]

<BeefinPep> my neighbor offered my gf to go, if shed drive him
<BeefinPep> that reminds me I still have to beat his ass
<BeefinPep> brb
*** BeefinPep has quit IRC

#91303 +(780)- [X]

<mustafa12>Ya, in 9th grade I was reading some background history on a poem out loud to the class and the poem was written in 1337, me being the cool social butterfly that I am, I read it as "leet"

#96038 +(-468)- [X]

<QBiT> What happens wen all the niggers are standing on the moon ?
<QBiT> Then the problem is finally solved :P

#104916 +(16)- [X]

<Siidu> what died, the hdd?
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> FUCKING CHRIST!
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> yeah
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> some complicated core shit
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> brought it down faster than a fat chick falling down a stairwell

#105358 +(236)- [X]

belgarion|ESC: what u mean what am i on
belgarion|ESC: im on poverty, its like life but with less money

#116774 +(116)- [X]

<AGaeris> And what were you doing? Oh yeah. Cybering.
<AGaeris> CYBERING LIKE RABBITS WITHOUT A CAUSE.

#141248 +(645)- [X]

<Beren87> A swift kick in the pants
<Beren87> that's always my suggestion
<Beren87> for anything really
<Beren87> Need to move a mule? A swift kick in the pants. Need orange juice? A swift kick in the pants
<Beren87> It's very multi-purpose
<TheXPhial> I need a gift for a friend

#176622 +(396)- [X]

<n00dle> What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
<n00dle> Both involve 30-year-old meat in between two nine-year-old buns.

#179616 +(2158)- [X]

< skel> I just patented an atmospheric bio-oxygen extraction device..
< skel> now I'll sue anyone breathing
< skel> mwuhahahaha!
< skel> i was just kidding guys
< skel> you can let your breath out
< skel> =P
< skel> guys?
< skel> OH DEAR GOD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
< skel> BREATHE PEOPLE!!! BREATHE!!!

#204248 +(2061)- [X]

< tcowher> personally I'm annoyed that they can get 11KBps from mars but can't get me a stable 5KBps over 17 miles.

#210766 +(6025)- [X]

<Casey8> Diana Ross' husband died
<Tarrier> how
<Casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something
<JennAway> that's sad
<Bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough

#224038 +(346)- [X]

<gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife and a computer?
<gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy.

#307185 +(1034)- [X]

<BabyBobDole> this bible thumper that used to work at domino's gave me shit about using slang all the time
<BabyBobDole> he was like "you're so good with linguistics, why do you say stuff like that?"
<BabyBobDole> i was like "it's called colloquialism, BITCH"

#371989 +(790)- [X]

<SkyJammer> I need a cute girl to give me a neck massage.
<shellspark> What about a semi-attractive monkey?
<SkyJammer> No.
<SkyJammer> A cute girl.  Human.
<MousePad> Your standards are way too high.
<SkyJammer> Your standards are way too low.
<shellspark> Perhaps, but I bet he gets his neck massage

#434593 +(12637)- [X]

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

#483089 +(593)- [X]

<{Stone}> Television is called a medium since is it so seldom rare or well done.

#583650 +(2477)- [X]

<Drhubbard> watched this film called 'anal lesbians' the other day.
<Drhubbard> they spent about half the film going through the fridge labelling everything..

#596026 +(739)- [X]

<phlick>so apparently there was some tragedy in the neighboorhood involving some people dieing
<phlick>and this ugly chick, nearly in tears, says "words just can't express how many lives those people touched"
<phlick>so of course, taking the literal meaning of that i said "of course words don't. numbers do"
<phlick>and now everyone mourns and hates :)

#671178 +(89)- [X]

#858690 +(1145)- [X]

<@terminal> dudes i must say
<@terminal> it's interesting to start your day off with a morning BJ
<@renounced> you should probably tell the police your step father is molesting you

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