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#112 +(1222)- [X]

<Amanda`> 'THE HELL..? IS 5 AM...GO THE HELL TO BED... IN TROUBLE YOU ARE...SPEECH MY SLURRED IS'

#1731 +(1157)- [X]

<outcaste> When I was single, I used super sensitive condoms.
<outcaste> They were so sensitive that they'd stick around and talk to the chiq
for an hour after I'd gone

#2935 +(438)- [X]

<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny

#3695 +(377)- [X]

<CorranFox> but I wanted to ask something about a certain girl... who likes me
<CorranFox> its been buggin me for a while
<CorranFox> well since last night anyways
<CorranFox> care to listen?
<Slant> Sure. Do tell.
<scummo> "See.. her name's 'my mom'...

#5525 +(176)- [X]

<illz> i just got a text message on my phone
<illz> "Im playing w/ my clit hehe.."

#6930 +(1011)- [X]

<psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"

#7536 +(62)- [X]

<BizaSmokedout> nah amng I can hold a inteligent convrsation if you want

#10135 +(841)- [X]

<Starchild> !define PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> DEFINING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot> 2 entries found for PCMCIA.
<CCU-Bot> Entry 1/2:
<CCU-Bot> PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot>  <body, standard> Personal Computer Memory Card International
<CCU-Bot>  Association. (Or People Can't Memorise Computer Industry
<CCU-Bot>  Acronyms).
<CCU-Bot> DONE - PCMCIA (Entry 1/2)
<Starchild> hey, fuck you

#10208 +(190)- [X]

<lo-d0gg> man.. these quotes are funny as!
<Ho-Train> what server/channel are you on?
<lo-d0gg> uhm, no channels.. www.geekissues.org
<Ho-Train> dammit! i can't connect..
<Ho-Train> [12:03:15am] *** Connecting to geekissues.org (6667)
<Ho-Train> [12:03:24am] *** Connection attempt timed out
<Ho-Train> [12:03:27am] *** Connect retry #1 geekissues.org (6667)
<Ho-Train> [12:03:36am] *** Connection attempt timed out

#10926 +(219)- [X]

<Macca_> hi all 
<Macca_>  can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it hasn't been as 
          easy as i thought it might be

#14701 +(208)- [X]

<th0m> have you ever had a booger that looked like it was designed by h. r. giger

#16508 +(171)- [X]

<yesyouam> Never let drugs stand in the way of alcohol

#17902 +(251)- [X]

<ZaphHD> I almost bought a kiddy pool today...thought about filling it up with
          water and filling myself up with beer in the back yard
<ZaphHD> but it reminded me too much of homer simpson

#20031 +(379)- [X]

<Fryboy>  A fast internet connection has more long term value. Your typical 18
          year old girl is good for about 1 night....then either she gets
          bored and moves on or you want to strangle her after hearing "Like,
          you know, and stuff" in EVERY goddam sentence.
<Fryboy> Now Gigabit Ethernet....that's the gift that keeps on giving.

#21795 +(629)- [X]

<Mercster>   ever shot a Glock?
<Eppy>   i don't know any glocks, but if they're like most people i've met, i probably wouldn't mind squeezing off a few rounds at them

#33638 +(139)- [X]

( @drdink ) philb: I bought an IRC server on ebay today
( @drdink ) philb: it is going to cost like $100 to ship it
( philb ) drdink, do you have the crane ready to lower it into position?
( @drdink ) it has wheels
( philb ) ahh, that's not so bad then. What will they think of next? I suppose the new 0.9 micron technology has allowed miniaturisation...
( Vulcan ) You really are stupid arent you?

#34276 +(298)- [X]

<D3KK0N> i am in such a good mood today!
<JudasX> lose your virginity?
<D3KK0N> many times
<JudasX> your hand doesn't count
<D3KK0N> even your left?

#35382 +(-27)- [X]

<woz> wouldn't it be great if they renamed scotland -  scatland

#38297 +(310)- [X]

[JJJTTT] what's this 707 thiong?
[st-707-afk] oh
[st-707-afk] that's LOL upside-down
[JJJTTT] gotcha
[st-707-afk] HTTP 707:  File Not Funny
[st-707-afk] that's gonna be one of my new error messages
[st-707-afk] well, neither of us are gainfully employed so that's what happens
[st-707-afk] sit here and think of stupid shit

#38667 +(164)- [X]

<Xerox> Apparently NOBODY wants to be a librarian in Compton.
<ToastyGhost> Because it's a do-nothing job
<ToastyGhost> "6:00 - showed up, unlocked. 9:45 - dodged gunfire. 14:06 - the police called, asking for a witness. 20:00 - close"

#39613 +(143)- [X]

<CrackPr0n-E> all of my g/f's(except one) were all legal
<CrackPr0n-E> so was everyone i've ever slept with
<CrackPr0n-E> you know what that means?
<wombat> Crack: you got your money's worth?

#39826 +(105)- [X]

<jeyjeydiggy> hey im writing a paper about madonna and i need someone thats gay to help me out, melee can you help me?
<melee> you sure thats not an autobiography?

#44922 +(399)- [X]

<j4yj0hn> oh, a kid in my class got called to the office for stalking a girl
<Threeboy> strange kids.
<j4yj0hn> she caught him in her yard with a camera
<Threeboy> just say it was a project.
<Threeboy> unless he was naked.
<Threeboy> then say it was an ART project.

#48298 +(248)- [X]

<Millenia>  Oh. And for everyone who insisted "Dungeons and Dragons" was the worst movie ever?
<Mareg>  We were right?
<Millenia>  You are right. You are SO right. I wanted to gouge out my own eyes.

#48611 +(191)- [X]

<Igatona> Seriously, the biblical club at my school only plays minesweeper and never do anything else
<+MegamanX2K> do they think the mines represent sin and your pointer is jesus

#49028 +(123)- [X]

<shadow> I love compact cars. They're small and discreet... kind of like tampons.
<Squirl> exactly
<Squirl> and when youre done you just flush them

#50916 +(248)- [X]

<@Gallahan> Anyone know the geographic distribution for AOL proxies?
<@abombpk> hell?
<@Lyle> thats an understatement

#55718 +(225)- [X]

<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger

#59749 +(180)- [X]

<jgaddis> boolean: I just got outta prison last Monday.
<boolean> jgaddis: how many people in jail use linux?

#74700 +(759)- [X]

<XorioN> o
<XorioN> o/
<XorioN> /o/
<DummeGaas> Heh
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o
<DummeGaas> It's fun to stay at the
<DummeGaas> o/ ^o^ /o_ /o

#76366 +(190)- [X]

<LoneWolf_> Sexpo sucked ....
<Gibbon> cool, I thought you'd only be able to look at stuff!
<LoneWolf_> (in a bad way)
<Gibbon> oh

#86057 +(232)- [X]

<Dr SpaZZo> A Reese's Peanut Butter Puff going directly down your throat is a LOT more painful than one might imagine.
TwilightKnight jots that down
<TwilightKnight> thanks
<Dr SpaZZo> No problem.

#105228 +(173)- [X]

(+[Aries]^PCW) OH HAS ARIES STILL GOT IT
(+[Aries]^PCW) I THINK SO!
(+Sheepy) im sure itll go away if you take those pills the doctor prescribed

#114413 +(383)- [X]

<NekoLocke|Runescape> What the hell? some girl offered me cybersex on Runescape in exchange for all the gold ore I had in my inventory. @_@
<Danny> now you do it be a man whore :P
<Eden99> LOL XD;
<Noval> Wow, a game with real hookers. That's inpressive.

#140338 +(350)- [X]

<+BarkerJr> why is 'crontab -r' one key away from 'crontab -e'?
<@Paladin> Natural Selection

#213947 +(1059)- [X]

<Burn132> How do I make it so that I can hear you guys talk and not just see the captions???

#215770 +(694)- [X]

<Indogutsu> I once got an e-mail from the former prince of Niger.
<Chocoboko> What did he want?
<Indogutsu> To know if I was interested in increasing my penis size.

#238880 +(1465)- [X]

<LexMortis> have i told you about a dream i had?
<LexMortis> a lion attacked me
<LexMortis> and bit off my finger
<LexMortis> after the fight n all was over
<LexMortis> i looked at my hands
<LexMortis> and went like "great, now i can only count to 9"
<LexMortis> even my unconsciousness is retarded =

#295862 +(1291)- [X]

<Anomaly> There's this one guy in my comp diag class who I've started holding up a folder or paper or something when I'm talking to him just to get him to look me in the eye
<Zero> boobs: a breasting and a curse
<Zero> WHOA
<Zero> a BLESSING and a curse

#439636 +(582)- [X]

<+Silver> first thing im going to do when i become president
<+Silver> is shoot down all the aliens
<MephistoSan> mexicans don't fly

#466097 +(760)- [X]

(@Cradly): wouldnt you want to know if your box can be easily rooted?
(@Slyder) Its not entirely my box ;)
(@def): would you like it to be?

#624106 +(1101)- [X]

pi4arctan1guy: I cam home from grocery shopping and there wasn't enough room for all my food and I thought "This isn't fair! Most people never have to deal with the frustration of not being able to fit all their food in their refrigerators!" Then, I put my hands on my big white belly and laughed a very deep laugh, while my top hat bobbed up and down and my cane leaned against my stack of property deeds and hundred dollar bills.

#644110 +(584)- [X]

(@nd): i should find a hobby
(@nd): other than drinking
(@rawby): put your beer in the freezer
(@rawby): then take up licking

#646418 +(719)- [X]

<Ashley`> thats the first example of sex with a birdhouse ive ever seen
<[Rabite]> second here
<[Rabite]> but definately the funnier of the two

#659306 +(233)- [X]

<tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
<tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o

#660692 +(572)- [X]

<Bushman> my inet sucks
<pikey> oohh
<impulse> does she swallow?
<Bushman> impulse: yes, my TCP packets

#667811 +(146)- [X]

* Digi disconnects
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Digi> I HAVE DISCONNECTED DAMMIT D:

#737114 +(279)- [X]

<JeighEighm> Tauren, why don't you just sniff the packets and find out?
<Tauren> how do i DO THAT?
<Tauren> how  do I sniff packets
<JeighEighm> Tauren, okay. It's easy. Get your network cable.
<Tauren> How do I sniff?
<JeighEighm> Hold it to your nose.
<JeighEighm> Inhale.
<JeighEighm> Smell those packets.

#755535 +(792)- [X]

<mithro> anyone know how to get find to remove all files which are older then 7 days?
<cherez> crap
<cherez> I tried to google to help that
<cherez> thinking to search a man page
<cherez> "find older man"
<cherez> it was bad :(
<cherez> real bad...

#944007 +(399)- [X]

<@Scootz> i just realized i left 'erection after death' in my google search bar when i let my dad use the computer
<@Scootz> and it's different now

0.0503 21038 quotes approved; 114 quotes pending
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