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#37 +(2145)- [X]

<iln> cd earlyteen

#155 +(526)- [X]

<Eggo> invent a new kind of tolet paper, reusible or edible

#691 +(1266)- [X]

<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9720]: zirconium (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9722]: zoology (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9721]: zoo (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9723]: zoom (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9724]: zooplankton (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> WHOA SHIT
<mendel> someone tell that luser that dictionary attacks refer to the PASSWORD part.
<wankel> christ, 2000 lines back and he was only in w's :)
<wankel> mankind:~ % grep LOGIN FAILED /var/log/messages | wc -l
<wankel> 8923

#705 +(465)- [X]

<vsync> my hand is banging against the keyboard, seizure-like
<tokage> vsync: is your masturbation coordination nerve acting up again?:)

#1820 +(498)- [X]

<LeoGeo2> i'm gonna make my whole web-site outta HTML

#1850 +(339)- [X]

<Shiznaught> what better kinston or micron ram
<devGOD> i like kingston
<devGOD> did you know kingston's founder is an ex-football player
<`michael> that really makes their ram better too

#2051 +(266)- [X]

<Julia_M> Arthur C. Clarke:
<Julia_M> "There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum."
<Julia_M> you know...space?
<Jeff_R> ya
<Julia_M> there can be no nations that can conquer space! aww yea it's great
<Jeff_R> I don't believe the whole vacuum thing...I mean...that would be one big ass Dirt Devil dirt bag to hold all that stuff in space

#2481 +(436)- [X]

<MattsGirl> my surname gets pronounced many ways
<NixsGirl> what the right way to say it?
<MattsGirl> Bee-at-ch

#3319 +(331)- [X]

<Blaz_> zwhats the old bitches name on spin city
<Blaz_> heather locklear
<Blaz_> shes gota be 40 something
<WS666> Heather is something like 40 but I'd drag my balls across a mile of broken glass to do her

#4012 +(215)- [X]

<Gallant> what's the point of programmin C/C++ if your goal is to make readable code?

#14567 +(96)- [X]

<radar1976> want it?
<Spamalope> depends
<Spamalope> how big is it?
<radar1976> 6 inchs
<radar1976> kidding!
<radar1976> how big is too big?
<Spamalope> Well.. I don't want to be downloading all day
<radar1976> nah
<radar1976> if I had the space I would put it on my co lo site
<radar1976> but I can't :(
<Spamalope> that's okay
<Spamalope> are you just going to send here or what?
<radar1976> no putting in on my web server
<Spamalope> sounds good :P
<Spamalope> just tell me where it's at when you're ready
<radar1976> give it 4 mins
<Spamalope> Bah. You're done in 4 mins?
<Spamalope> What a waste of 6 inches :P

#15450 +(297)- [X]

<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit

#16369 +(759)- [X]

<esokitty> FUCKING A
<kitten> fuck a B it has more holes

#27489 +(161)- [X]

<damocles> one day...tv will be nothing but "when good pets go bad 27" and porn

#36560 +(547)- [X]

<Toad> I remember my brother's 21st. It was in a university hall and all I remember was eating a lot of asparagus.
<Toad> And speeches about people with briefcases.
<Chris_A> Toad, I think that was possibly a board meeting.
<Toad> It might've been!
<Chris_A> Did you come out with a slice of cake, or documents detailing the fiscal productivity of the 1998 year-end?
<Toad> This joke is now stale.
<NapkinEater> like the cake
<Chris_A> Like the c-- bugger.
<NuttO> Was the cake stale-- FUCK.
<Chris_A> There are no original quips left in this universe, we must recolonise immediately.

#44157 +(300)- [X]

<MacIrish> OMG that be like givin a monkey a shotgun

#49884 +(477)- [X]

Munktun: how was thanksgiving?
Wahbuffet: missionary position
Munktun: hahahahaha
Wahbuffet: sorry wrong person
Wahbuffet: pretend i didnt say that

#51418 +(188)- [X]

<NyseriA> i think i should inform you that i am totally naked at the keyboard.....and i just sat on a box of screws :(((((((((((((
<Weebl> is your webcam on nys?

#52908 +(295)- [X]

<sh-> integration is shit
<sh-> math style, not rosa parks style

#52978 +(367)- [X]

<FLB> once sex tv showed a room full of women masturbating
<FLB> it was an "orgasm class"
<FLB> and they all go there
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> did you tape it?
<FLB> and in a group
<FLB> finger themselves.
<FLB> Umm
<FLB> No.
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> bastard
<FLB> I was uhh....
<FLB> taking notes?

#55590 +(139)- [X]

[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :)
[{Ogre}Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then

#58739 +(147)- [X]

<ally> i wonder what postage of a live animal would be to washington >.>
<rcg> illegal?

#72150 +(522)- [X]

<+an_ass733> Hey guys I have someting interesing to tell
<+an_ass733> I went to a chinese restaurant for lunch today
<+an_ass733> The fortune cookie said "A successful life comes from a life of virtue and hard work."
<+an_ass733> On the back were the lottery numbers.

#72891 +(796)- [X]

<VodkaV> lol, french tanks have six gears, 5 reverse, and one forward in case they are ever attacked from behind

#73148 +(1315)- [X]

<Jester|TV> im not much of a programming fan...but i guess my teacher was a dumb biatch which is why
<Jester|TV> well theres some programming in the telecomm as well
<Martel> I'd never done real programming until first year
<Martel> I like how the word programming lined up 3 times
<Martel> YES!
<Martel> 4

#75993 +(104)- [X]

* Dark is listening to his roommate play Mike Tyson's Punch-Out
<Durandal> Dark : Isn't there a bonus level where you can rape Mike Tyson's wife?

#76043 +(219)- [X]

Rangsk: anti-grav units would put a new spin on weight-loss programs
Suicidal Insanit: but not mass loss :P
Rangsk: people don't care about that :P

#82106 +(149)- [X]

<TheGreyOne> I say you dyke it out
<TheGreyOne> I mean duke
<TheGreyOne> oh shit

#82227 +(253)- [X]

<idiot> My penis is like a pringles can :D
<DrunkenMaster> the short stack ones
<Bizznatch> LMAO
<Bizznatch> 0WN3D
<xanax`> hehe
<idiot> bah

#97963 +(167)- [X]

<Gothic> I sound Lovecraftian backwards
<Gothic> Cithog, the black cloud of despair, hatred, and donuts

#107496 +(227)- [X]

<ksennin> Easy E is the only member of NWA who gets any pussy
<TripleRach> doubtful
<TripleRach> easy e is dead
<ksennin> what really
<TripleRach> uh yeah
<ksennin> oh man i lost track of my homies. :|
<TripleRach> he died of aids many years ago
<ksennin> aha
<ksennin> So he did get lots of pussy.

#113133 +(208)- [X]

<PsychoDreameR> i want a good war script
<PsychoDreameR> when can i get one??
<placid> www.nato.com

#138229 +(414)- [X]

<Calisa> I can only hope there are hotel rooms involved in the party. I need to give my secret garden to serenity. We'll ride the comet of passion and wait until the sun dawns on the pool of spilled innocence. A world that's calm in the everlasting wake.
<TribGuru> she's gonna fuck the desk clerk.

#139697 +(9144)- [X]

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

#152578 +(799)- [X]

join: (RIAArep) (LucerinRd@
(+Xelopheri) ::: Metallica - The Call of Ktulu : 8:53 : 128kbps : Joint Stereo :::.
(+Xelopheri) oh shit!

#202719 +(1227)- [X]

<Shloom> OMG
<Shloom> FUCK
<Shloom> I just showed this girl my wang on my webcam
<Shloom> But not only did I hear her giggle
<Shloom> but 2 other girls and a man
<Shloom> D:!
<Shloom> FUCK
<El_Diablo13> ...
<El_Diablo13> LOL!

#212627 +(271)- [X]

<budb> i find chicks in real life, and they are dating someone else, chicks find me online, and they are bisexual guys

#255086 +(450)- [X]

<methangas> this is EA's support lines automatic answering machine; we already got your money, now please go away

#277337 +(7156)- [X]

<XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand

#393563 +(-331)- [X]

<JoeDawson> "Tour De France Winner Lance Armstrong was stripped of his title after 3 substances banned by the french were found in his hotel room"
<KloA> haha
<JoeDawson> The three banned substances... Deoderant, Toothepaste, and soap.
<JoeDawson> *rimshot*
* JoeDawson TEH FUNNAY

#461919 +(503)- [X]

<Barb> I just looked over at a cup on my desk and thought "Ew, that milk must be really old. Its like, orangey. Strange that it doesn't smell." And I realized it was orange juice and not milk.

#519623 +(1229)- [X]

<rom> if i was ever playing hide and go seek I would want Anne Frank on my team.

#526546 +(-546)- [X]

[dark-force] how long is a second?
[[RAA]Ajarn] rofl
[dark-force] ?
[[RAA]Ajarn] that's priceless

#527125 +(2199)- [X]

onslaught86: Your spelling's so bad your blood must be type-o.

#671819 +(613)- [X]

<Grover> On my linux box, I once swapped out the motherboard, put in a new video card, doubled the RAM, installed a CD burner, installed a RAID array of (6) 200GB SATA Drives, and overclocked the CPU without ever rebooting it
<Rusty> Didn't you reboot it a few weeks ago?
<Grover> Yeah, I had to reboot to install my Thumb Drive

#759858 +(1337)- [X]

<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!

#762975 +(547)- [X]

<patchinko> jerry falwell's dead
<darsu> a-who?
<lynkali> :o
<lynkali> really?
<patchinko> he died like >3 hours ago
<Cthulhu> umm, you misread that part jon
<Cthulhu> "School official said Falwell was fine at breakfast"
<Prakk> they ate his corpse?

#914496 +(625)- [X]

<addendum> !down KorMc
<spodbeet> KorMc (X.X.X.X) Dling "TL.iso" 4GB out of 7Gb at 10 Mbps
<addendum> DAYNG
* gnork orgasms
<gorb> holy shit man, how do you get that?
<gorb> i thought you live in the countryside
<KorMc> i do
<addendum> what the HELL man?
<KorMc> you know the dude who opened the diner next to me?
<bangalore> Peter somethingsome?
<KorMc> yeah him
<KorMc> he got cable for some god-forsaken reason
<KorMc> so i's stealin' from him
<gnork> how the hell did he not catch you yet
<KorMc> the guy knows nothing about computors
<KorMc> So he hired me to "calculate the injectors and administrate the whatevers"

#924578 +(3024)- [X]

< gordonjcp> I'm trying to enjoy the vuvuzela concert and some prick keeps playing football

#954103 +(407)- [X]

<Mikael_Kreoss> reading the "stupid shit you believed as a kid" thread
<Mikael_Kreoss> it owns
<Mikael_Kreoss> reminded me of the time as a kid I saw a pic of the pope's bubble car thing
<Mikael_Kreoss> and thought it was meant to keep him in
<Mikael_Kreoss> like he was a monster or w/e
<Vanadium> hahaha
<Mikael_Kreoss> on display
<&Attilla> ahahahah
<Mikael_Kreoss> "WE CAUGHT THE POPE" and then celebration time
<Drakkar> hahaha

0.0627 21057 quotes approved; 2183 quotes pending
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