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#2738 +(344)- [X]

<ckx> xmas was fun back before i was blessed with pubes and still had hopes and dreams and such

#2745 +(358)- [X]

<doctorb> i want a  microwavable dildo. i'm sick of the cold plastic.

#2994 +(5)- [X]

(phibor) im writing a windows based system called NegrOS
(evulanjal) lol
(qdial) that sounds ghetto
(qdial) what will it do?
(phibor) nothing, just like true niggers.
(phibor) you give it a job and it will fuck it up..then it will smoke your weed and fuck your girlfriend too

#3230 +(86)- [X]

<NtG> you know theres one thing I love about the internet
<NtG> theres such a multitude of repulsive fat ugly chick pictures

#3776 +(320)- [X]

<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B

#3887 +(229)- [X]

<KNG_SNK> ok i was at work today
<KNG_SNK> and two ppl were missing...
<KNG_SNK> and this guy's office was locked
<KNG_SNK> but i knew there was someone in there... VERY quiet too
<KNG_SNK> so me and some buds went over to the next building
<KNG_SNK> to try to peek in
<KNG_SNK> and man... they were goin at it
<KNG_SNK> but we could clearly see humping action

#5874 +(828)- [X]

<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's performance accordingly

#7408 +(199)- [X]

*** Radz has quit IRC (Quit: Pure | Bitches | No, Fuck You)
* KeeperS tries to make sense of Radz's quit message

#7600 +(653)- [X]

<OpsuPup> i just got some imaginary donuts, and they are fucking nice
<Xta-C> i just had imaginary sex, and it was disappointing
<bytraper> i just got some imaginary sex, and it was fucking nice
* Lord-Data thinks byt and xta just imaginarily slept together

#7609 +(173)- [X]

<xorg> If I say "Eject" and you say "What?", you'll be talking to yourself.

#7956 +(651)- [X]

<dr.jd> whenever I think house is too cheesy, I just look towards dip and it makes me laugh happily
<dr.numa> dip is a good dancer.
<dr.jd> dip is, to my mind, the epitome of a disco house freak
<heathen> i remember once at wiltis some girl asked jeremy to dance.
<heathen> she was dancing all sexy on him and he was dancing like a spastic ninja mime on muscle relaxants.
<heathen> he began by doing something that looked a lot like the cabage patch as interpreted by rhythmless nun trolls.

#8374 +(230)- [X]

<Valvados> Words cannot express just how much Joe Hisaishi ownz me
<Vicious> how about "Joe Hisaishi is gay" ?

#10288 +(324)- [X]

* kaori hugs Corey as a friend.
<Surago> how else do you hug someone?
<kaori> There are
<kaori> different ways
<kaori> to hug people
<Surago> A very friendly hug consists of you hugging my legs while you suck my penis?

#13413 +(41)- [X]

<splorpo> chickens are bits of chickens put together
<splorpo> into a clump
<splorpo> like a shrub

#14190 +(582)- [X]

<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good

#16231 +(163)- [X]

(StanLee) I'm tired of working today.
(neruaL) me too
(neruaL) actually not really
(neruaL) because i haven't spoken to any customers yet
(neruaL) and the one time my phone rang it was a dial tone
(neruaL) dial tone > stupid customer

#21441 +(168)- [X]

<Kaze_Shinmen> Not that I am homosexual. I just like toting rainbow colored girly things.

#24756 +(369)- [X]

<Asskicker064> High Templar One: Wanna merge?
<Asskicker064> High Templar Two: Archon me, baby.

#34280 +(743)- [X]

<wizardofaaahs> I smoke during sex
<martha> wiz, slow down and use a lubricant

#39087 +(161)- [X]

<Jay^^> But I might interrupt your work...;)
<JaG> im not working im surfing bash.org
<JaG> like i work at work, pleeeeeease

#40572 +(347)- [X]

<Kyle> So you're going to be responsible for 65 Windows 2000 Desktops *WITHOUT* a Windows 2000 Domain.
<Kyle> Run for the hills, boy.
<Kyle> Run for the fucking hills.

#42805 +(-77)- [X]

<Low> wassup
* sean estimates the age of Low as 11.
<Low> uhhh higher
<sean> liar.
* Low estimates the iq of sean as 3 maybe 4
<Low> im amazed u can type
<Low> let alone breathe

#45030 +(384)- [X]

* typobox43 looks for life
<Marie> try out of IRC :p
<typobox43> WHAT?!
<typobox43> :P
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> you mean there is such a place?
<Marie> you know, close the IRC screen and sign offline? :)
* typobox43 shudders at the though
<typobox43> *thought
<Marie> lol
<typobox43> my vocal organs are underdeveloped... i don't think i'd get very far
<typobox43> although i think i'd win a thumb war in a heartbeat
<Craig> join #reallife
<Craig> ?
<typobox43> --- Cannot join #reallife (Channel is invite only).

#45529 +(225)- [X]

<Twinge> To think, there are 8.065817517e67 possible games of freecell, and I've only beaten 3.

#45950 +(286)- [X]

<sh-> does downloading porn vcd's on dialup count as tantric?

#48590 +(827)- [X]

(AnAcOnDa): www.goatse.cx
(sd3mon): been there done that
(blackanese): done that?

#52503 +(1052)- [X]

<neural> i wish my motherboard would find a fatherboard so i could have anotherboard

#55155 +(331)- [X]

<[Piratez]> I think i'm allergic to porn, everytime I look at porn my cock swells.

#58112 +(221)- [X]

<falc> i now declare 'oat' to mean 'on another topic', please update your geeky brains immediately

#63811 +(2154)- [X]

<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale,  and my girlfriend followed me in.  All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D,  and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?"
<crunchyfish> I don't know, man. That's pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?

#71626 +(315)- [X]

<jas0n> man im a geek
<jas0n> im trying to find the RGB value of my hair

#71922 +(170)- [X]

<fallenMeSsIAH> damn cops, they piss me off, SHE Wanted to have sex infront of the police station not me, i am an unwilling participant, charge her for rape if it will get me out of a indecent exposure charge
<BenZor> fallenMeSsIAH: you got laid... consider it a miracle

#75369 +(669)- [X]

<Tsunemori> I could barely kept myself awake during the lecture....... but here I am......
<Serajadeyn> what lecture was it?
<Tsunemori> Introductory lectures to teh various subjects we'll be taking
*** Shadowcon (~Shadowcon@12-230-182-225.client.attbi.com) has joined #mtartanddrawing
<Tsunemori> Three people went for one hour each, but this last guy did it all in 10 minutes. I love him
<Tsunemori> I think Shadow will misunderstand what I'm saying.

#77503 +(39)- [X]

<M|ssKitty> olivier says my anus looks like that *

#99315 +(269)- [X]

<Seed> I had to remove one of toastt's organs once.. because he didn't pay attention
<md`> i see
<Supachikn> which organ?
<Supachikn> his skin?
<Supachikn> pancreas?
<Supachikn> appendix!
<Seed> Supachikn: a 1967 Hammond organ

#103422 +(216)- [X]

<Sebbe> Just found some online CPR 101
<Sebbe> The instructions are: Call, blow, pump
<Sebbe> Kinda makes me wonder if I accidentally stumbled upon a Hooker 101

#104694 +(612)- [X]

PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the awesome none of the bullshit.

#109225 +(280)- [X]

<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to go hiking, but I'd have to get up...

#128570 +(-139)- [X]

<spaceDAISY> these american measurement standards are on crank.
<spaceDAISY> what the hell is a jigger?
<r> jewish nigger

#137523 +(291)- [X]

<@ryan> theres acpi crap in my kernel
<@jon^c> eat more fiber

#145556 +(62)- [X]

<zamback> wth is "Ultraslim" ?
<|DI|Okra^Ennis> its only 16 mm thick
<deyja> zamback: the size condoms you wear

#190535 +(2057)- [X]

Quaestor> how frequently does a question need to be asked to be considered a Frequently Asked Question?
Archon11> 7 times in the US and 11 in Canada. The European Union is considering a common number of five, but Great Britain refuses to comply and insists on using its own number, six. China does not allow questions except in Hong Kong.

#213250 +(0)- [X]

<Asty> Tub Girl: "Well, shit."

#289910 +(-520)- [X]

WC128: OMFG that pizza was orgasmic
WC128: it was as if God and Jesus and Mary just bukakked into my mouth

#396127 +(492)- [X]

<frenetic> guys how much would 200 mhz usually cost at a store
<frenetic> I am trying to upgrade my 800mhz to 1ghz

#620964 +(-11)- [X]

<Sordly> One of the worst moments of anyone's life would have to when you realize there's only enough peanut butter to cover the front half of your body ...
<Whatanut> That's only a problem until one realizes there's still the jelly...
<Sordly> True, true
<Madster> Whatanut... ew

#706258 +(775)- [X]

<Gostie_hungover> the worst thing about having been drunk on irc is that you don't get any blissful ignorance about the things you said the night before
<Gostie_hungover> you just scroll up and there it is

#891596 +(1090)- [X]

<War> what's a spectral wolf?
<Herr_apa> It's the Fourier transform of a regular wolf, duh

#900148 +(5737)- [X]

* Vesper is now known as CodyB
<Teku> why the nick change?
<CodyB> I'm teaching this hot chick how to use IRC
<xanatos> ...why
<CodyB> I got grounded for two weeks and I can't call anyone. I figured I could talk to her here, at least.
<CodyB> be cool, I'm teaching her about channels and she might come in here
<xanatos> how did you get grounded
<CodyB> I locked my sister outside for three hours.
<xanatos> i bet she didnt like that
* StacyF has joined #randomshit
<CodyB> yeah I thought my parents were going to kill me
<CodyB> oh hey, there you are
<Teku> So you had sex with your sister on your parents bed and they walked in on you? Wow Cody, you're lucky you only got grounded for two weeks.
<StacyF> eeew you sick fuck
* StacyF has left #randomshit
<Teku> I know you're going to kill me later, but it was so worth it
<CodyB> you motherfucker

#951442 +(76)- [X]

<Goune> the other day i saw the headline : 'woman beats off rapist' and i thought.....
<Goune> that seems like a reasonable compromise

0.0565 21077 quotes approved; 543 quotes pending
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