#1046 +(346)- [X]
<tokage> i have emotional states: apathy and irritation, which would you like me to direct at you?
? tokage/#kuro5hin smirks
<ragabr> tokage: irritation if it leads to spankings and nipple clamps
<vsync> which one comes with a free beer?
<tokage> hmm..both probably
#1356 +(573)- [X]
<McGrue> You need messageboards?
<Sharkey> Certainly not 'need'. Probably not even want. I just occasionally have this nagging implacable emptiness that I think a message board might fill.
<Sharkey> Maybe I just need cock.
#1406 +(-51)- [X]
*** CiXeL (...@pool694-cvx.ds68-ca-us.dialup.earthlink.net) has joined #crack
<CiXeL> Kill the motherfucking curseword kick you pansyass girls use.Censorship blows & I dont want irc turning into a g4y ass aol or purple moon game. I hate to wake you up but this *ISNT* aol & never will be. You will never be allowed to sanitize & pollitically correctize the net. So sure, kick me, ban me, whatever but Im not going away unless you can ban every single combination of ident, ip in my pool or the whole domain earthlink.net.If I
#1951 +(368)- [X]
<Kayma> Watching these DBZ episodes makes me hurt inside.
<BiGiGnome> No, that was me poking you.
<BiGiGnome> I poke you in a special way.
#2802 +(244)- [X]
<[_pitch_]> florida is shaped like a big droopy dick for a reason...
#4325 +(499)- [X]
<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten. :|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for
#4328 +(758)- [X]
<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?
#6130 +(560)- [X]
<nail|away> Packaging systems are lame. Tarballs are lamer.
So is source. I install me software with personally magnetized
needles and a steady hand.
#7816 +(49)- [X]
<@Theme-4-a-Jakal> we oughta tie allison down and get her addicted to heroin so she'll become a prostitute
#8235 +(7)- [X]
<DTOX> pmp: what's funny is that azn dudes are like 4' tall and look like ewoks
<DTOX> it's just funny to see a band of these azns dressed like candy ravers walking around the mall speaking god only knows what language "yap yap ching chang"
<DTOX> and then drive their integras back to the forests of Endor and worship C3PO
#8443 +(319)- [X]
<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.
#9131 +(116)- [X]
<FairLighT> we'd have to do something incredibly crazy to distract the wal-mart staff
<V3nOm> lol yeah go take a shit in the front garden
#14399 +(217)- [X]
<radii> i'm unRARing, listening to an MP3, AOLing, useing FlashFXP, Serv-U, AIM, mIRC and going to that wepage
<baloo_> aoling = molesting 13 year-old girls online?
<pagan> baloo: no it means your messaging them to come over and get molested
<radii> yeah, duh!
#31331 +(562)- [X]
<ViolenceJack> i just became the escape goat and asked for it...
<Ecliptik> What's an escape goat? Do you ride it?
#31467 +(111)- [X]
<N715DP> yeah, no kidding
<N715DP> me - actually buying a MS OS
<N715DP> hell hath frozen over
<eggs_> guess I need to go find Jesus
#37361 +(1002)- [X]
<discore> hey kali say 'clue'
#38552 +(231)- [X]
<[TX]-KnacK> I removed irc from the office and saw a 300% increase in productivity
#42089 +(20)- [X]
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> ok if you're going to hunt fellow dorm members to feed on, would you get a girl, fuck her then eat her? My friend wouldn't b/c he'd feel like she'd be tainted
<lrrl> Gotta add the cream filling
<lrrl> everyone knows that
<XX01XX> I don't think I'd be comfortable with having sex with something I planned on eating
<lrrl> XX01XX trust me it tastes better that way
<XX01XX> it's a perversion of the predator-prey relationship
<XX01XX> either be a sexual predator or a regular one.
<XX01XX> or at least wait 45 minutes between roles
<lrrl> how about 31 and you kill them first?
<XX01XX> oh... well, if they're already dead, that's different... then you're just tenderizing the meat
<lrrl> now you tell me....solves all my problems then
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> he won't even do it with a condom, says the smell would taint it
<XX01XX> (nonoxynol-9 on your steak)--
<XX01XX> if it's dead you don't even have to use the vagina... there are probably other newly created holes to be used
#43406 +(268)- [X]
ComTraXG3: i dont usually shave... but i got a haircut a couple of weeks ago, which was the first haircut ive had in almost a year. Now i have short hair and my beard looked dumb, so I shaved it off.
ocaJ+: Did you also get a new set of dice for D&D?
#46012 +(551)- [X]
<gas> games are getting too confusing now. what ever happened to click and shoot. now the key board doesn't have enough buttons to give command, have to use combos like ctrl + shift + right click + masturbate = move forward.
#49005 +(364)- [X]
* LordMadOne dreams of his soon to be girl
<eMEraLdwPn> you talked to her at all recently?
<LordMadOne> no :(
<eMEraLdwPn> call her
<LordMadOne> I got a poem for her too
<LordMadOne> I have no phone
<eMEraLdwPn> well that sucks..
<eMEraLdwPn> get arrested and make her your one phone call!
<eMEraLdwPn> now that's romance!
#52013 +(60)- [X]
<Brainstew> If you think somethign is chocolate on your keyboard, but your not sure...Don't stick it in your mouth.
<Citation> let alone on your penis.
#54343 +(1520)- [X]
* Lilmuckers hugs iphopper
* iphopper reciprocates the hug
* Lilmuckers grabs iphoppers lowest common factor and makes it proportianal to 1 over 2
* iphopper primes lil's hug
* Lilmuckers differentiates iphopper gradient
* Lilmuckers takes the second differential to work out the highest and lowest points
* Lilmuckers looks about at the assembled masses confused faces and blushes
* iphopper tries to find lil's limit as it approaches x, and the derivative of that value
<ragnarok2040> okay, who said maths geeks could cyber in here?
#56826 +(139)- [X]
<Polaris> is my phone number on whois?
<Fina> *picks up phone*
<Fina> *dials slowly*
<Polaris> I would know it was you.
<Polaris> Unfrotunently my caller ID is broken.
<Fina> ...my elves did their job well...
#58683 +(165)- [X]
<@bmann> once it gets warmer im getting a fucking job
<@rambopfc> just get a snowblower, u could get a blow job
#76017 +(-62)- [X]
<Flippy_D> angst ^_^
#76891 +(280)- [X]
<BongOP> if there's anything more bizarre than fucking a blow up doll, it's having 'group sex' with a bunch of blow up dolls.
#82159 +(25)- [X]
<SchoolBoy> thats u ppl ? ;P
<keta> im teh gay sailsor guy
#85864 +(216)- [X]
<+LS|Krylar> how much caffeine does it take before u get the shakes?
<+void_> that depends on how strong you want the shakes to be
#100967 +(445)- [X]
<chesed> I couldn't find the food you like
<chesed> I couldn't find a card
<chesed> So I hope these flowers say it best:
<chesed> Dear Lord you make me hard
#101268 +(703)- [X]
<Abstruse> I personally like graveyard shifts better...I'm a night owl by nature...
<Abstruse> Besides, the morning shift there is 6 AM to 2 PM...those are the hours I'm usually sleeping.
<phoxleep> 6 AM
<phoxleep> wtf is 6 AM
* phoxleep has never seen 6 AM
<Abstruse> phox: 6 AM = bedtime. You know, when that big lamp outside the window starts to turn on? You DO know about the Big Room outside the house, right?
<Abstruse> phox: You know, the Big Room you go to when you have to go buy more food and stuff?
<phoxleep> the big room is sorta cool
<phoxleep> but doom 3 has better shaders damnit
<Abstruse> I hate the big room when the lamp's on...
<jastity> Abstruse: I have my groceries delivered to my Big Room, I order them online.
<Abstruse> They need to fix the air conditioner out there.
<Abstruse> jastity: I meant McDonalds.
<Abstruse> Or Taco Bell or Jack in the Box or whatever.
<phoxleep> Abstruse: why hasn't greenpeace given them shit about leaving it on?
<phoxleep> it's a waste of power damnit
<Abstruse> phox: Something about it using solar energy I think.
#102467 +(230)- [X]
<foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men convention. seeya later
#103931 +(485)- [X]
<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1 week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?
#104706 +(351)- [X]
(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be incest?
#105674 +(352)- [X]
lost475: ANY HOT CHICKS WANNA GO OUT
Qualjyn: lost475, you will die alone.
Qualjyn: Do not pass go. Do not collect ASL
#162460 +(409)- [X]
Last night, I was looking up at the stars, and I thought to myself, where the fuck is my ceiling?!?
#167081 +(314)- [X]
<dekk> your mom lost her virginity in a penis accident
<[b&]shoez> i lost my penis in a virginity accident
#167837 +(133)- [X]
<Trife> black kids don't even dress up over here, they just come over and say 'can i have candy'
<sloth> one had a trash bag on
<kokanin> they're dressed as flying eyes and teeth!
<Trife> last year the black kids came back the next day trying to sell me candy
#228441 +(156)- [X]
Maelstrom III: i think valentines day is ddosing hallmark.com
#366266 +(1227)- [X]
<Emperor> Oral sex is when you talk dirty, dumbass
#389536 +(1536)- [X]
<Foxx> im never fallin in love
<Foxx> i've decided
<FuriousC> you dont choose who you love, love chooses you
<FuriousC> and that little fucking son of a bitch sticks itself to your face like the godless bloodsucking bastards in Alien and refuses to let go until it has drained your soul and left you an empty shell of a human being
#444999 +(672)- [X]
<conVict> omg my older bro is a bastard
<conVict> it's mum's birthday, and he set up a treasure hunt for her to find her gift
<conVict> she went all aroudn the house. up and down the stairs
<conVict> finally found the final clue
<conVict> it was a picture of goatse
<conVict> mum started crying
<conVict> he got banned from the comp for a month
#495464 +(17)- [X]
<joshua> i hate this... i wish it could be like "what's your name sir? " "Josh Nieman" "oh, well here's the exact computer that's best for you at a price you love, thank you for shopping with Dream On, Asshole Industries"
#516917 +(265)- [X]
(@elusive_brob) I've got a hook-up-line for you
(@elusive_brob) "wanna play network? you're switch and i'm cable?"
(+XargoL) remember firewall
#578314 +(668)- [X]
<Rhett> yes yes, but that's bringing hyperbole into an argument that, while silly, remains grounded in fact
<moros|sreep> I'm not quite sure what hyperbole is, come to think of it..
<Rhett> it's where the ADD children have their football championship
#579865 +(2036)- [X]
Skylos : dang its irritating when I get phone calls and they just hang up
Triggur: call them back with caller ID and then hang up!
Triggur: ever get a Heavy-Breathing call?
Triggur: I did once and I told him, "oh god, that is SO hot. can I jack off too?"
Triggur: turns out it was my mom winded from walking upstairs.
#706323 +(1242)- [X]
<TMH_> does anyone else find that they are in a fuckton of channels
<TMH_> and they only actually care about two or three
<jmx> define a fuckton?
<Thuryn> ten times a buttload
<LPF> that's a metric fuckton
#737903 +(484)- [X]
<Aust> I was playing a groove jazz jam at a coffee shop, and a group of mentally handicapped kids walked in. One of them ran right to the middle of us and started dancing all crazy. He was dressed like an Native American. Like, battle rags... It was fuckiing awesome. He danced for like 20 minutes. We all danced with him.
#865182 +(1747)- [X]
<wahnsinn> $4000 for a couch?
<griff> you could feed some kid in africa for TEN YEARS for that couch
<Mo> but could you sit on him afterward?
#885904 +(503)- [X]
Mafafa: IF EVERYONE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF WOULD YOU DO IT TOO?
Ironikx: If everyone jumped off a cliff, I'd go to the bottom and steal whatever was in their pockets.