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#343 +(415)- [X]

(odd42) hey guys: i'm d/l-ing a huge file on a 56k modem but i have an Athlon and GeForce, so do you think i could play q3 at the same time?

#1098 +(371)- [X]

<brad> anyone know where i can find a hitman?
<maff> www.amihitmanornot.com

#1429 +(244)- [X]

<Culex> Why did LatinKing get fired from the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job :)

#1809 +(156)- [X]

<DMC[ijcd]> I cut holes in my pockets to masturbate in public

#1962 +(28)- [X]

(dOkTeR) man, i woke up this morning, and looked at porn for 30 mins, then went to school...i was so horny for my first 2 classes, i had to jerk off in the Tier Building bathroom

#2164 +(271)- [X]

::: .signoff@1.32p> m|ch (michelle@XX-XX-XX-XXX.ivideon.com); to get over someone old, get under someone new

#2495 +(368)- [X]

<CompGod> If crime doesn't pay, is my job illegal?

#4056 +(262)- [X]

([ric]): see if you were scared in legoland, would you shit lego bricks?

#4659 +(201)- [X]

<Urganite> what you mean to tell me
<Urganite> is that you're going to create a windows program
<Urganite> that just looks like what you want your OS to be?
<Urganite> ...
<Urganite> that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life
<Peasant> Someone should make a DHTML OS
<Kyle|> peasant: dont give me ideas

#6400 +(183)- [X]

<cygnus> speech recognition is only for people who don't jerk off enough to build up wrist strength and then get fucked up from using their keyboards

#6754 +(525)- [X]

<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today
<Wed> The screen

#7067 +(0)- [X]

<Naivete> the Christian Culture Club scheduled Jesus Day
<Naivete> and the Gay Culture Club scheduled Gay Day on the same day
*** Naivete was kicked by Kash (...)
<Naivete> and harassed the christians.

#7554 +(0)- [X]

[spoob] I could almost have sex with myself if it didn't keep horning up and stabbing myself through the tonsils

#8617 +(203)- [X]

<inflex> the best way would be to be a lesbian stuck in a chicks body
<inflex> that way when you couldn't get any, you would still enjoy fucking
<inflex> wheras whenever i want to fuck myself i've gotta touch some dick
<inflex> and any situation where i have to touch a dick is undesirable

#9083 +(159)- [X]

<[-FeC-]Ca53y> but me and my GF are going to buy a DVD pr0n
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> :)
<PasTe> nice
<[-FeC-]sKratch> lol
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> hell yeah
<[-FeC-]sKratch> special features:  see from the camera in the guy's urethra
<PasTe> lol
<[-FeC-]Ca53y> nice
<[-FeC-]sKratch> and see from the camera in the other guy's ass

#12158 +(283)- [X]

<Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
<BlakHawc> A simple one:  be run over, feet first, by a very slow-moving steamroller.
<Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes pop out?
<BlakHawc> Jarp:  Well, only if you're a toon.  Otherwise, you're pretty much fucked.

#13868 +(25)- [X]

<bpb> let's all play a game shall we?
<bpb> ok, everybody who has a line that is probably tapped raise your hand
* bpb raises his hand
<bpb> now, raise your hand if you think iip is completely secure ;)

#26692 +(297)- [X]

<@Amitlu> errr
<@Amitlu> i mean do
<SpeedyPhoenix> do who?
<SpeedyPhoenix> >.>
<@Amitlu> -_-
* @Amitlu gives Speedy a black guy
<@Amitlu> eye*
<@Amitlu> If you quote me, I'll kill you >.<

#26707 +(322)- [X]

<RokChik> I spent $125 on jeans, two shirts, a sweater thing, two pairs of sox, bra, undies, earrings, bracelet, and necklace
<sixtymhz> Rok: yeah, good job shopping.
<sixtymhz> Wish I could get all that for $125. Even bra and panties.
<sixtymhz> Would make my Friday nights go over better.
<ShinJN> whoa
* ShinJN steps away from 60mhz
<sixtymhz> ShinJN: hater
<sixtymhz> just playing, where's ya'lls sense of humor tonight?
<ShinJN> it's there
<ShinJN> i was joking
<sixtymhz> oh, so you wanna step closer?
<ShinJN> no

#27455 +(50)- [X]

<J{E}K> What is the best song of NIN?

#30558 +(100)- [X]

<HansonSis> oh, screw the japanese...they knew what they did the moment they did it, and they'll never do it again....bombing them would be a waste of a good bomb....drop it on people who don't know we mean business yet3

<MalkavsWisdom> Yeah.. those damn ethiopians.

#30626 +(309)- [X]

<ArkCOM> Hey man, to get rid of that virus, add the line "echo y| format c:" to the end of your autoexec.bat
<ArkCOM> Without the quotes
<devbp> Okay.
Quits: devbp (Quit: Getting rid of a virus.)

#31109 +(36)- [X]

<Epsilon> You know you play too much FF7 when you play any of it at all.

#32752 +(-37)- [X]

<Quad> [Two men are standing face to face.  One man is with a woman who looks suspvcisouly like a prostitute.  Money is exchanged, and the woman leaves with the second man]
<Quad> Fur trader
<Quad> [Molson drops from the sky]
<Quad> Budweiser
<Quad> Molson....Canadian for Budweiser

#34041 +(199)- [X]


#34973 +(337)- [X]

<Nikari[away]> OMG I GOT NEW SHOES
<Nikari[away]> TIME FOR DDR

#36722 +(175)- [X]

<NickBlasta> i just pwned a fly with a quarter
<rzrshrp> real blastas use their hands
<NickBlasta> i have evolved to use tools of pwnage
<rzrshrp> ...a quarter
<rzrshrp> it's a fucking quarter
<NickBlasta> deadly in the right hands
<rzrshrp> lol, fool

#37074 +(-16)- [X]

<[e]-Punk> hang on my room is on fire
<[e]-Punk> brb

#37208 +(483)- [X]

<Mr_E> kazaa lite's a little better... I get a good 30 seconds of downloading before it crashes
<Mr_E> regular kazaa crashes on start up
<Mr_E> I need like, kazaa-uber-lite
<Mr_E> if there was such thing
<Mr_E> maybe I'd get a whole file done then
<w|zzy> it is your celery
<Mr_E> excuse me?
<logicalentity> hehe
<logicalentity> NOW THATS TECH SUPPORT

#43968 +(212)- [X]

<MinD> i'm not a newbie
<MinD> i like 2 run in root
<ivan> MinD: ever heard of su?
<MinD> ivan: what is su

#43990 +(1288)- [X]

<Bealzubub> yeah.  my mom's going fucking insane with this family tree shit.
<Bealzubub> she been hogging the internet, lookin up all of our family incestry.
<Acherton> lmfao!
<Bealzubub> ancestry*
<Ktulu> lmao
<Bealzubub> damnit!

#45585 +(134)- [X]

<Greenboy> how do i install linux?
<Greenboy> open the cd in windows?

#58610 +(108)- [X]

<rover> I took my Ventolin puffer, and puffed it onto this cockroach that was still
<rover> it died

#61348 +(818)- [X]

<Bruns> I got used to people calling me 'Miss' or 'Maam' on the phone when doing support
<Bruns> then they apologize like crazy after I tell them my name
<Bruns> "Oh, I'm sorry sir.  Its just that..."
<Bruns> "...That I sound like a girl.  I know.  Thanks for reminding me."

#75787 +(113)- [X]

<Blood_Luster> I hope I get a life like that
<Blood_Luster> stealing money... hackin'... boning that chick from friends
<Blood_Luster> good times

#76895 +(161)- [X]

<AndrewLB> So what if they are lesbians?
<JtotheB> :D
<JtotheB> Oddly enough, that's my exact reasoning.
<AndrewLB> Ya know, if you want lesbian pornography, you could always ask
<AndrewLB> >_>
<AndrewLB> <_<

#81923 +(289)- [X]

-=- BetaBugz [~BetaBugz@cpe-24-197-113-011.spart.sc.charter.com] has joined #slashdot
-=- BetaBugz [~BetaBugz@cpe-24-197-113-011.spart.sc.charter.com] has quit #slashdot [Quit: Client exiting]
-=- BetaBugz [~BetaBugz@cpe-24-197-113-011.spart.sc.charter.com] has joined #slashdot
-=- BetaBugz [~BetaBugz@cpe-24-197-113-011.spart.sc.charter.com] has quit #slashdot [Quit: Client exiting]
-=- BetaBugz [~BetaBugz@cpe-24-197-113-011.spart.sc.charter.com] has joined #slashdot
< Chage> revolving door.

#82154 +(204)- [X]

<Dyn|work> just say BREASTS and pike is wide awake
<pike|sl33p> HI MOLO!

#82166 +(164)- [X]

<MonkeyFlippers> Anyone know the capital of Croatia?
<gho5t> who cares?
<[steev]> MonkeyFlippers; google.com does
<MonkeyFlippers> Who cares, gho5t?
<gho5t> aww did i hurt your feelings?
<gho5t> i'm sorry i care
<gho5t> let's go look together
<gho5t> i'll meet you at google

#105677 +(87)- [X]

<+NoNameAndrew> yeah right, you were rubbing the one eye'd snake to him like I am
<+NoNameAndrew> her*

#222596 +(788)- [X]

<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.

#239953 +(271)- [X]

<Eagon> yeah we talk about important stuff in here
<ded_guy> yeah
<ded_guy> so, who in here has gas?
<spatula> i do

#351029 +(1383)- [X]

<Raiks> Has anyone got their 'Violence Against Women: Australia Says No' booklets yet?
<Sweep> i have raiks
<Natus> i have too
<Raiks> My girlfriend opened it and got a paper cut from it, and then belted me for laughing at her

#394101 +(600)- [X]

<Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come with fries?
<kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine.
<Foenix> I just want no lettuce.
* GeekRyuu (Ryuu@ has joined #subcafe
<GeekRyuu> Hi!
<GeekRyuu> How is every little thing?
<Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.

#439958 +(1730)- [X]

<FuzLogic> I never did figure out how to open the damn doors on the landing boats.
<mirth> "how i survived normandy" by FuzLogic

#707531 +(364)- [X]

<Thunder> I seriously gotta upgrade my computer, I'm scared that my comp will blow up if I click the wrong tile in minesweeper D:

#707848 +(744)- [X]

<ssdd534> arg... whats the best way to deal with a .rar on solaris?
<Atomix> rm

#884782 +(1815)- [X]

<RST38h> When I bought 14.4kbd modem, TELNET and FTP became so lightning fast...
<jaem> what sort of lightning do you have where you live, then?
<lcuk> the sort that used to buffer before striking

#946319 +(423)- [X]

Oxim : I think it's funny how 1337 used to be like the language of nerds, but then everyone realized that it was gay, and now nerds everywhere strive to practice impeccable spelling and grammar
Wsr :We are like the blacks. When whites people tried to copy us, we changed. Fo shizzle ma nigga

#950920 +(1153)- [X]

<Uprising> I just want to work somewhere that actually counts
<jamesstanley> try the office for national statistics

0.0342 20982 quotes approved; 4955 quotes pending
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