#1487 +(225)- [X]
<`TiGgEr`> fuck u need a dvd drive to rip dvd's thats what the program says
<`TiGgEr`> alls ya want is to put a rented dvd in to ripp it and watch it later but no u need the fuckn dvd drive
#1637 +(371)- [X]
<_Delirium> "Perl is awk with skin cancer. And it's ugly too." -my cs professor
#2041 +(415)- [X]
<Mr_Durden> no wonder superman's ship is powered by the only thing that can kill him
<Mr_Durden> it was designed by a canadian
#2563 +(848)- [X]
<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity.
#2860 +(316)- [X]
<semi> keyboard almost fell, caught it by the numpad end
<MrP-> same here
#2868 +(190)- [X]
<shervin> DMC talks shit like no other and yet hes OP
<Gethoht> oh, op
<Gethoht> i thought you meant "original playa" or somethin
#3407 +(1801)- [X]
<timmo> and it involves a girl named bertha
<timmo> WHO WOULD SUBJECT THEIR DAUGHTER TO THE HORRORS OF THAT NAME
<timmo> 'this is my daughter bertha, she eats villages'
#3570 +(1462)- [X]
*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT
#6923 +(165)- [X]
<piman> Lindz: Does Ricky Martin scare you too?
<piman> Based on the way he dances, I think he's Steve Ballmer's long lost twin...
#7143 +(689)- [X]
<DanSTC> Delusion, will you have my baby?
<Delusion> Dan: Yes, if it's cooked well.
#7710 +(43)- [X]
<IlpaTYPER> would this have anything to do with banning Class316? heh
<Fakester> he should be banned at all times
<DN|PISSED> he should be klined from planet earth
#7889 +(268)- [X]
<rabbit|hci> www.crap.com/welcome2lastweek.jpeg <- fodder :p
<Fodz> welcome to being gay <- rabit
<rabbit|hci> well, a welcome from an established member of a community always means something. :) Thanks fodder
#14359 +(169)- [X]
<^_-> DICK SMELLS LIKE PICKLES.
<^_-> PARTIALLY BECAUSE OF THE DRIED SEMEN.
<Funk> My dried semen doesn't smell like pickles
<Funk> It smells like bleach
<^_-> THAT'S WHAT MINE SMELLS LIKE WHEN IT'S WET
<^_-> IT'S LIKE BLEACHY-CHLORINE
<Funk> That was my excuse for jacking off in the swimming pool
<Funk> "But I thought it would make the pool cleaner :( :( :("
<wildkarrdex> THAT WAS YOUR COURT DEFENCE?
<wildkarrdex> YOU COULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS AN INVOLUNTARY SPASM
<Funk> An involuntary spasm that made me hold a 6 year old underneath me for the duration?
#15624 +(325)- [X]
<rtwh0> why are you upset?
<sugadon> who the hell says i was god damn upset? huh?
<rtwh0> umm never mind
<sugadon> i hate people who spread god damn rumors, muther fucker , god damn
#16568 +(26)- [X]
<clubransom> I want my isp to block this 900 number stuff.
#16712 +(842)- [X]
<Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
<Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that people're
<Deke> coming over
<Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
<Deke> most people find coins
<Deke> we find disk drives
#17241 +(71)- [X]
<@SpEaR[afk[sleep]]> im gone
<@SpEaR[afk[sleep]]> sscreen si off
<@SpEaR[afk[sleep]]> but im still typing
#18220 +(25)- [X]
<jesus_> my healing hands be drivin tha virgins wild.
#31155 +(431)- [X]
<Firamas> bash.org is the cure for everything
<lvlsixtyclr> sexual needs?
<Firamas> ok, almost everything
<lvlsixtyclr> come on
<lvlsixtyclr> you cant tell me u dont masturbate to the quotes
<Firamas> i'll admit that i have yet to consider beatin off to it
<lvlsixtyclr> I'm masturbating right now thinking about you masturbating to bash.org
#31585 +(168)- [X]
<SkycreatoR_> SkycreatoR_ Loves to suck every chinese boys dick!
<SkycreatoR_> Eh uh ..
<SkycreatoR_> Squirly Loves to suck every chinese boys dick!
#33800 +(114)- [X]
<pthree_> oh, my stupid t1 is having issues
* RichiH asks himself if having a private T1 is the heigth of geekdomn, or if it is the ultimate of saying "i got no rl friends"
<Seker> RichiH: It'll be the height of geekdom if you max it out with warez.
<RichiH> Seker: if you max it out with warez, it's a way of saying "i am 13, have no friends, use windows and need a good poke in the eyes. besides, i got no firends, neither rl nor vr"
#36171 +(308)- [X]
* `Glenn scribbles on Illy's face with a washable marker while she is away.
<Lightspeed> Glenn prob seen too much Pokemon....
<BraveFencer> .... No, but by the fact you connected that to Pokemon, maybe YOU have.
#36736 +(92)- [X]
<kitteh> new vanilla cock
#38399 +(525)- [X]
<godofcows> I decided on some cool things I'm gonna do when I get rich
<godofcows> like ask my mom what car she would like the most, and then buy it
<godofcows> and then when she comes outside to look at it, it'll get run over by a monster truck
<godofcows> and she'll cry
<@godofcows> I thought of another thing I'd do if I ever got rich
<@godofcows> I'd gonna buy a bunch of toys for an orphanage
<@godofcows> and have them all laid out in front of the building on christmas morning and get someone who works there to wake up all the kids and come out to look
<@godofcows> and when they all step outside and look, I'm gonna run over the toys with a monster truck and laugh at the looks on their faces
#39482 +(461)- [X]
<comet_11> I hope I never go to prison
<comet_11> I swear I dropped the soap like 12 times when I showered just then
#39848 +(404)- [X]
<GauHelldragon> there was so much freakin' vodka at AX
<GauHelldragon> they had a bunch of pitchers at a table
<GauHelldragon> freakin' FILLED with vodka
<GauHelldragon> it was crazy
<Odo> are you sure that wasn't water
<GauHelldragon> oh yea it might have been water
#44695 +(-31)- [X]
<durn> are u _the_ r0b0c0d?
<r0b0c0d> yes bish
<durn> omfg everyone is talking about u, u ddos attacking dalnet??
<r0b0c0d> is the pope fuckin old?
#46517 +(307)- [X]
<+The_Steel> I scored a 96% on the procrastination test
<+The_Steel> I'm not suprised
<+emul8or_> i put off the procrastination test till tomorrow
#48314 +(113)- [X]
<Somebob> Apparently, I said something about some filesharing program in the topic once.
<Staberinde> Except when it comes in contact with you fucking idiots who use spyware infected cockshit
<Staberinde> It added a reg key which just added an annoying "CANNOT LOAD XXX.DLL" message on start to my startup
<Staberinde> Since I had neutered it
<Staberinde> Then I removed it from my registry since that CANNOT LOAD annoyed me.
<Somebob> I never recommended kazaa goddamnit
<Staberinde> I neuter everything I come in contact with just to make sure it doesn't fuck me.
#50038 +(197)- [X]
<RingLass> night all
* RingLass removes her enter key
#50544 +(196)- [X]
<slut> i'm banned from kmart for stealing condoms i'll never use
#63811 +(2118)- [X]
<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale, and my girlfriend followed me in. All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D, and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?"
<crunchyfish> I don't know, man. That's pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?
#75735 +(70)- [X]
<Flirbnic> I want my foreskin back :(
<Jim`> I don't have any extra to give you, Flirb, or I would.
<Jim`> People who choose to be circumsized later in life should donate their foreskins to be grafted on to poor penises like yours. Wouldn't it be cool if they grafted a black guy's on?
#75998 +(354)- [X]
*** Quits: phrenic (Erection reset by beer)
#80546 +(130)- [X]
<JtotheB> There is a certain brand of coolness that one can achieve only by being fully CSS and HTML standards compliant.
* JtotheB flashes a shit-eating grin and cracks a beer.
#81131 +(153)- [X]
<KingKirby> The US is stupid like that. Bomb somebody, give them money. Shoot somebody, give them a band-aid.
<nylint> Fuck somebody in the ass, give them a reach-around.
#81836 +(142)- [X]
<Xan> I wish I had a time machine
<Xan> I would write in the bible "....and every sunday send $5 to <my address>"
<Xan> "If you don't you'll go to hell"
#81907 +(218)- [X]
<smurphant> it's really annoying when the dvd encoding guides are like "okay, now use this guide, http://..., to create a drv project" and then that guide is like "if the dvd has these properties, then use this guide, if it has these properties, then use this guide" ...it's a never ending string of guides!
<gunk> all I need to do is mencoder -dvd 1 -ovc lavc -lavcopts vcodec=mpeg4:vpass=1 -vop scale:640x512:vbitrate=700 -oac copy -dvd-device /dev/cdrom;mencoder -dvd 1 -ovc lavc -lavcopts vcodec=mpeg4:vpass=1:vbitrate=700 -oac copy -dvd-device /dev/cdrom -vop scale:640x512
<gunk> and that's actually all quite basic stuff if you read the docs
#101825 +(191)- [X]
<LeXX-> so like one time on 2600 irc, liquidpc shoved a usb cable up his mothers ass.
<Klassh> man, usb really IS universal
#105778 +(109)- [X]
<DrgdHmstr> man if I wanted communist propeganda I'd read slashdot
* DrgdHmstr was kicked by supz (communist)
#117732 +(714)- [X]
<bfdd> i heard the mcdonalds commerical say special sauce
<bfdd> and i thought "ill give em some special sauce"
<bfdd> and then i realized
<bfdd> i was talking dirty to a tv commerical
<bfdd> and felt ashamed of myself
#151284 +(509)- [X]
<Bob_Haut> Don't call them Broads
<Bob_Haut> Bitches HATE that!
#176966 +(382)- [X]
Lckyduck322 : bitch, what the fuck do you want
theonejanitor : how are you
Lckyduck322 : i'm great and you
#351098 +(807)- [X]
[+BaByGiRL]: A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.
[+BaByGiRL]: "Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."
#404244 +(873)- [X]
* XeniX has the bestest most gorgeous g/f in the world
<Toughie> thanks BF
<Steppenwolf> Toughie and XeniX, sitting in a tree
#439955 +(425)- [X]
<Zotmaster> i myself would like to meet a woman made out of pie
#464258 +(1304)- [X]
<vapoR> lately my mother has been complaining about how much time the dad has been spending in the computer room..
<vapoR> she comes up to me and goes "For christmas, I want you to get your father a gift that will get him out of that stupid computer room!"
<vapoR> so i went out and purchased him a wireless router :p
#657985 +(782)- [X]
<blast007> okay, here's what you do
<blast007> you go to a resturant, and you ask for a grilled cheese sandwich
<blast007> and ask for limburger cheese on it
<A-Delusion> I always ask for a chicken and an egg, to see which comes first.
#826428 +(2317)- [X]
Blood Reaper: on a scale of 1 to 10
Blood Reaper: how old do you think michael jackson's boyfriend is?
#882628 +(496)- [X]
<LivingScarecrow> you want to emulate a chatroom irl? go to a highschool chess club and pass out guns and meth