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#158 +(505)- [X]

I have gone to look for myself, if I should return, before I get back, keep me here. - unknown

#1101 +(682)- [X]

[Guilty] Jean-Claude Van Damme made a movie named "Replicant" in 2001?
[Guilty] When did that come out
(McMoo) 2001

#3292 +(215)- [X]

<nakke> I should edit my Notes views so I can mark emails from my colleagues as "sux"

#4716 +(250)- [X]

<Chalma> how do I talk with everyone else?

#5585 +(234)- [X]

<Sys> What's *really* not funny is the nasty metal-on-oh-so-sensitive-metal sound my hard drive makes when I try and access anything in the last 2 gig.... oh dear....

#6862 +(471)- [X]

* AlecWire fires a crossbow dart through the arrow, landing it in Foe's crotch.
Foenix: HA!  Joke's on you!  I had no plans to use that for years!

#7270 +(635)- [X]

( Lev       ) i got to taste pre-mixed coca-cola concentrate from McDOnalds!
( Lev       ) BEFORE THE WATER!

#7839 +(154)- [X]

<rob`> I mean, who would have thought that blood congeals into a pudding? :9

#8544 +(342)- [X]

<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?

#8617 +(213)- [X]

<inflex> the best way would be to be a lesbian stuck in a chicks body
<inflex> that way when you couldn't get any, you would still enjoy fucking
<inflex> wheras whenever i want to fuck myself i've gotta touch some dick
<inflex> and any situation where i have to touch a dick is undesirable

#14627 +(241)- [X]

*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)

#15519 +(296)- [X]

<ouija> He likes to hit on girls
<ouija> and then go like
<ouija> HAHA HA!!! I'm QUEER!

#15810 +(426)- [X]

<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them

#16195 +(711)- [X]

<Dss-tester> nuke u have a real bad additude
<@NitroX> no way, not nuke
<*Nuke> Im a sweetheart you stupid fuck

#16654 +(127)- [X]

<FishNetGirl> guess what I haveeee....
<KrackWhores> mountain dew?
<FishNetGirl> mmhm, yup.
<KrackWhores> well guess what I have
<FishNetGirl> mountain dew?
<KrackWhores> no
<KrackWhores> a penis
<FishNetGirl> i know
<FishNetGirl> er...

#23879 +(457)- [X]

<X2> [AlekaiTalon] Uh-oh, watch out ladies, Alekai Talon is in the house
<Tyr> yea ladies, watch out
<Tyr> he might steal ur men :p

#26666 +(1045)- [X]

<Threeboy> it's cause we're all infected with IRC.
<mutatedjellyfish> speak for yourself
<mutatedjellyfish> im a scientific observer of the victims of this "IRC"
<mutatedjellyfish> me and my associates are working on developing a cure
<Threeboy> doc, we need 55cc's of social life, STAT!
<mach_one> NOOOOOOOO!
<mach_one> get that needle away from me!
* mach_one runs back to his cave
<mutatedjellyfish> restrain him!

#34113 +(352)- [X]

<DKuntz> is it bad for me to have a pet peeve about people usin "r" instead of "are" and "u" instead of "you" (and so on)
<Lath> Er, no
<DKuntz> I really hate when people do "how r u 2day?"
<IJ> I've heard of data compression, but this is ridiculous.

#34970 +(314)- [X]

<Ed> P2 Celeron was good though, because it used the same slot as the P3.
<Mime> P3 has two different slots!
<Mime> I had a SNES game style P3, my mate had a flat one.
<Ed> Mime, that's a socket.
<waffle> Mime: you mean a slot and socket
<Mime> Yes, socket and slot.
<waffle> amd really loved the slot
<kawaii_kekekeke> I love that slot.
<Mime> I love your mom's slot
<waffle> your moms a slot

#36220 +(156)- [X]

<Ginger`> In pagecount, the script is about at the level of six to seven Shakespeare games, so it may well take awhile. ^.^ A 10% patch was released recently.
<Ginger`> *plays
<Ginger`> I can't believe I said Shakespeare games. -.-;

#38085 +(429)- [X]

<red13n> average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean everytime one unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so salty.

#39750 +(179)- [X]

<picklehammer> im nude right now
<xooz98> are you hammering your pickle?
<picklehammer> I was a while ago
<picklehammer> oh shir I got blood on my keyboard

#40509 +(362)- [X]

<Mosswing> anyone here got berserk series ?¿
<Mosswing> in DivX format
<^cell^> i got a boner
<^cell^> does that count?
<Mosswing> what is boner ?¿
<Mosswing> is it good?
<^cell^> yeah man
<^cell^> everyone has a boner
<^cell^> why dont you?
<Mosswing> how many episodes?
<Mosswing> i would like it too if it is great :)

#41289 +(92)- [X]

* Ethiopian is now away: away eating
* Ethiopian is now known as Ethiopian_eating

#47134 +(168)- [X]

<flawed> i wish they had Summary Software .. you paste in a huge chunk of text and it gives you the gist of it :)
<flawed> then you can use some Text to Speech software to read the summary out loud
<flawed> ah the Age of Laziness

#47227 +(478)- [X]

Sean: Yeah I thought of it while I was getting a snack.
Jay: Snacks, is there anything they can't do?
Sean: Umm... I was going to say provide sexual pleasure, but I've heard you can have sex with banana peels.
Jay: brb

#73190 +(371)- [X]

<`torm`> i like ur mom
<Cyphatic> necrophiliac
<`torm`> 0ipoi
<`torm`> [ pjpi i\o
<`torm`> [ppjp[
<`torm`> sopjrry
<`torm`> sorry
<`torm`> i like ur sister
<`torm`> i heard she is very hotz
<Cyphatic> pedophile
<`torm`> ophr

#84813 +(449)- [X]

<matt> mang
<matt> i gotta send some logs down stream
<matt> but my roommate just got in the shower
<markus> so go stank up the bathroom
<matt> i assume the door is locked
<markus> just push it under the door then

#105252 +(487)- [X]

<Shun2> woot
<Shun2> I found the last GTA3 hidden package
<slm> wow, welcome to two years ago
<The359> lol
<slm> Are you gonna beat bowser next?
<Shun2> dude
<Shun2> he's tough

#105571 +(109)- [X]

[10:30] <nuna> I backed up a load of dot files on floppies, and an airline scanner screwed every one

#106430 +(-1115)- [X]

* SBR_Scythe tosses RSFS_Cheif a Coke
<SBRLestat> a sprite for me scythe
<SBR_Starfire> Hey Scythe, I'll have a cock
<SBR_Starfire> oh my god
<SBR_Starfire> I'm never going to live that one down am I?
<SBR_Scythe> nope

#113023 +(1029)- [X]

<`Sonny-Michaels> Oh good lord
<`Sonny-Michaels> As if www.mofo.com wasn't bad enough
<`Sonny-Michaels> You know the company Powergen?
<@Evil-PR-Director> uh oh
<`Sonny-Michaels> I'm told they're starting to move into Italy
<`Sonny-Michaels> Using the suffix Italia tacked onto the corp name
<`Sonny-Michaels> That's wrong in more ways than I want to think about
<@Evil-PR-Director> yeah...
<`Sonny-Michaels> Specially since they spelled it out for the url
<`Sonny-Michaels> http://www.powergenitalia.com/

#222987 +(979)- [X]

<Jadd-Away> MONROE - An employee at the Wal-Mart store off North Telegraph Road died in Mercy Memorial Hospital here yesterday after he was found lying on the store’s floor with head trauma, Monroe County sheriff’s deputies said.
<Jadd-Away> victim of falling prices?

#228241 +(774)- [X]

WALLOP shadow:  $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow:  $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow:  $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow:  $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!

#237904 +(148)- [X]

(lara`) i wanna die
(lara`) just like jesus christ
(Ic3zero) whats stopping u
(Ic3zero) ppl cant carry u up the hill?

#244799 +(759)- [X]

<awed> i almost started a cult once
<awed> by accident
<awed> irc is weird like that.

#281421 +(5089)- [X]

mdiym42: note to self
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them

#330187 +(736)- [X]

<fitcher> my dad's credit card # is 4**0 0**1 3**3 7**7 exp 0*/0*
<fitcher> whoops
<fitcher> ignore that
<fitcher> type /clear
<ProudCdn> why would you give your credit Card # out?
<fitcher> i was ordering a game off this guy

#419733 +(823)- [X]

Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my friend

#430856 +(106)- [X]

<+Disasterologist> wtf why does nobody ever convert to judaism on their death beds?
<@Locke> they cant make money as they're dying

#590016 +(487)- [X]

holler its emily: Five Reasons Not to Be a Penis:
holler its emily: 1. You're bald your whole life.
holler its emily: 2. You have a hole in your head.
holler its emily: 3. Your neighbors are nuts.
holler its emily: 4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
holler its emily: And lastly...
holler its emily: 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint
DrkVengeance: you wouldnt always faint
DrkVengeance: depends on how well you can hold your licker

#598656 +(780)- [X]

<brooksie> what is the point of a name server
<[Piratez]> hi

#639921 +(929)- [X]

<DaWiteBuddha> im leaving for your house now
<AlazrianLeth> take your time, i have to bathe
<DaWiteBuddha> how long does that take
<AlazrianLeth> depends
<DaWiteBuddha> ballpark?
<AlazrianLeth> wrigley field
<DaWiteBuddha> ...god i actually shook my fist at the screen...

#646246 +(990)- [X]

<Javin> God I hate people.
<Javin> I'm trying to program here, and some chick walks in and starts gabbing over my shoulder about nonsense.
<Javin> So I continue to work, and just ignore her.  Apparently, she took this to mean I was "frowning."
<Javin> Her: "You know, it takes 36 muscles to frown, and only 12 to smile."
<Javin> Me: "And none at all to ignore you with utter indifference."
<Javin> Apparently that wasn't as subtle as I thought it was.  She took the hint.

#714574 +(430)- [X]

<starshipparsley> This is a beautiful equation.
<starshipparsley> e^pi( i ) + 1 = 0
<purple.toupee> omg that just blew my mind
<starshipparsley> I am reading the Penguin Dictionary of Curious and Interesting Numbers right now, and it is nerdgasmic
<starshipparsley> Did you know that pi/2 is 1/root(root2 + root(root 2 +root(root 2 +....)
<purple.toupee> !!!!
<starshipparsley> This kinda stuff is so freaking awesome!
<purple.toupee> math = power
<purple.toupee> math is knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, therefore math corrupts
<starshipparsley> Math = the only kind of sexual pleasure I'll probably ever have

#745228 +(1288)- [X]

<Foamy> im a little teapot
<Foamy> short and stout
<Foamy> here is my handle
* Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out)

#756353 +(1974)- [X]

<knightmare> sixtho I challenge you to IRC DDR!
<sixtho> ummm ok
<knightmare> + ddrbot start 10
<DDRBot> Game Started!
<DDRBot> <
<knightmare> <
<sixtho> <
<DDRBot> ^^
<knightmare> ^^
<sixtho> ^^
<DDRBot> vvv
<knightmare> vvv
<sixtho> wtf
<DDRBot> knightmare wins!
<knightmare> ?
<sixtho> where the shit is the down arrow
<knightmare> ...

#767620 +(-342)- [X]

CarlXxX: omg
CarlXxX: the power was out when I got home
CarlXxX: so I was like "wtf am I gonna DO!?"
HitmanBravo: =/
CarlXxX: I sat down..
CarlXxX: ate
CarlXxX: cut my nails
CarlXxX: played with my cat
CarlXxX: jerked it
CarlXxX: and slept
HitmanBravo: lol

#848957 +(2612)- [X]

Nameskaz: can you help me with an experiment real quick?
MarineWife021406: sure
Nameskaz: let me see you naked
MarineWife021406: no
Nameskaz: you see, these fortune cookies are bullshit
Nameskaz: "Your courage will reward you" my ass

#860816 +(2383)- [X]

<amz> I thought that you had been an atheist since forever
<Batou> My Dad is massively religious.
<TheShadowZero> your mother is massively multiplayer, though

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