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#116 +(116)- [X]

<Daze> did you bind and unbind the strings correctly
<DigDug> Yes.
<DigDug> unbind msg - hello *msg:hello
<DigDug> bind msg - myword *msg:d1gdug

#1122 +(408)- [X]

(pervert_) i wear a shirt that says "I'm gay - it's contageous"
(pervert_) not cuz im gay
(pervert_) it's so i don't get jacked
(pervert_) wait....that sounds bad

#1171 +(327)- [X]

loofaspunge: for(int food = 0; food < worldhunger; food++)
               worldhunger--;

#1243 +(504)- [X]

<jinkusu> nd-: you're not lagged
<jinkusu> i'm just typing with one hand
<nd-> ok, 'nuff said
<nd-> enjoy
<[dom]> is the other one hugging mr. wonderful?
<jinkusu> yup

#1293 +(797)- [X]

<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> HAHA
<ApOkAliPs> well...
<ApOkAliPs> depends where you aim it...

#1645 +(503)- [X]

n e r d b 5: umm.
n e r d b 5: geforce
n e r d b 5: i dont like em
n e r d b 5: i like nvidia
n e r d b 5: 32mb
n e r d b 5: they rocks
e l i t e m r p: nvidia makes geforce

#2506 +(366)- [X]

<Dracon> weird.. seems like no matter what i do, cpu usage never shows 0.0%.

#2637 +(55)- [X]

<_Bas_> I want to be a database admin and part time mechanic when I graduate

#3539 +(1060)- [X]

<craig> i'm sorry, i should've remembered that many people are pedanic here
<Crappy> it's pedantic

#4200 +(168)- [X]

*** Quits: Disco[d2] (k-lined: u stole my girlfriend! (edison))

#5379 +(478)- [X]

<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you

#7072 +(444)- [X]

<Staberinde> What I'm wondering is why the ACLU isn't bringing lawsuits against these schools that suspend kids for drawings or writings. I mean if that's not depriving someone of their freedom of speech I don't know what is.
<Joe_> Because the Supreme Court ruled that the constitution doesn't extend to schools.
<Staberinde> That means my old high school can secede from the union then, right?
<Joe_> It could work..

#8495 +(255)- [X]

[arkZZZ   ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do?
[Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec?
[arkZZZ   ] fkn? where?

#9034 +(338)- [X]

<ggeyton_hewitt> <_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front of someones nick?
<ggeyton_hewitt> <thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel operators.. Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<ggeyton_hewitt> <_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad wanker who spends his life on irc, has no real friends, and prefers to chat on here than in a pub?
<ggeyton_hewitt> it's funny cos it's true
<Syncope> lol
<Syncope> very true
<Syncope> :/
<ggeyton_hewitt> `deop
<Syncope> `deop

#12078 +(618)- [X]

Jammer sticks a pistol up Meeko's butt and shoots a few rounds into her.
<Meeko> NO! MY GERBILS!
Meeko cries as gerbils plop out

#14195 +(177)- [X]

<fsck> sorry, my penis confused me
<tika> s'ok.. we're used to it

#14711 +(482)- [X]

<Snacktify> what happens if a girl who is in the olympics is going to have her period during competition?
<deltax> then they put off the 100m cunnilingus for a week
<deltax> "this event cancelled due to bad turf" etc

#14750 +(587)- [X]

<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your friends that you're dead

#15181 +(264)- [X]

<red> just because something makes you briefly nauseous doesn't mean it's wrong
<mute> red, that's what i tell my woman

#21363 +(68)- [X]

<EvILEyE{GF}> I tried getting my scanner to work
<EvILEyE{GF}> stupid prick machine doesn't work with win2k
<EvILEyE{GF}> only works with linux, OSX, and pre-winME OS's (drivers)
<EvILEyE{GF}> so I tried it on my laptop and linux broke
<EvILEyE{GF}> so I tried installing win98 on it
<EvILEyE{GF}> win98 broke
<EvILEyE{GF}> it's outside on the front lawn now
<EvILEyE{GF}> I figured I could format the hard drive by throwing it out the window
<Kaown> It'd leave a footprint on the ground, but that's about all.

#29916 +(181)- [X]

<Squiggle> When I grow up, I wanna be arrested for masturbating in front of a daycare.

#31135 +(244)- [X]

(elend) now back to figuring out where my ut cd is
(elend) I've officially come to the conclusion the Ensim WEBppliance lib took the UT disc to the local bar to get drunk
(elend) Ensim: "Hey, you want to magically vanish?" UT Disc: "Oh I don't know...." Ensim: "It's cool, I'm a piece of shit, I know how to get away with these things"
(elend) so right now some binary compiled code and a disc are sitting at some bar getting wasted no doubt.
<Rustblade> then they will proceed to get laid afterwards
<Rustblade> sad thing is, the UT disc and ensim will get laid BEFORE we ever do

#43475 +(177)- [X]

<jamao> cat shit on floor today
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> you find out which one? lol
<jamao> twice, either that or each one went once
<jamao> nope
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> sniff your cats bungholes, i'm sure you'll find out quick lol
<jamao> i tried that already
<jamao> 8|
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> ....
<ePINOY[LH]Keitaro> i was joking, but ok haha

#43794 +(16)- [X]

<MazeMachino> id ownz us all and we know it
<MazeMachino> well maybe not jud
<MazeMachino> he doesn't know it
<MazeMachino> but he'll find out
<MazeMachino> when Doom3 arrives in the shops
<jud_> yay, pasty fat white zombies for everyone!
<MazeMachino> yeah, w00t
<MazeMachino> pasty fat white zombies? Americans?
<jud_> why spend bazillions on a computer capable of running doom3 when i could just look in the mirror?
<MazeMachino> Doom3, the game where you get to shoot American white trash in the gut

#44305 +(481)- [X]

* Joins: Niro77
<Niro77> hi
<Niro77> anyone here?
<Niro77> ...
* Niro77 yawns
<Niro77> hellloooooo
<Niro77> Am I talking to myself?
<Niro77> you know.. the C in IRC means "chat"
<@quake> and the IR means "shut the fuck up, we're idling in this ".

#49607 +(296)- [X]

<Antiarc> Ever have one of those moments where you get out of the shower, get dressed and all, and then realize that you left your webcam on broadcast mode?

#53941 +(123)- [X]

<+Tolkien`> chicks will only last a while
<+Tolkien`> i can use my comp all night

#56558 +(1884)- [X]

<Pyroman> NEW RULE 
<Pyroman> No one may have a name that starts with 'No'  
<Pyroman> It fucks up my nick completion  
*** Yukari is now known as NotYukari 
*** GigaClonWantstoKickNickServ is now known as NotGigaron 
*** NMR is now known as NotNMR 
*** DJ_Bytes is now known as NotAlsoDJBY 
<emphaticallyumopepisdn> You guys are sheep 
<NotYukari> baa 
<NotAlsoDJBY> Baaa 
<NotGigaron> baaa 
<NotNMR> baaaa

#60361 +(1324)- [X]

<[zc]snuggles> my sister is 13
<[zc]snuggles> I found porn on her compueter =/
<[asm]ryan> man porn?
<[zc]snuggles> NO AND TAHTS THE THING
<[zc]snuggles> LESBO PORN
<[asm]ryan> HAHAHAH
<[zc]snuggles> hell I copied it to my computer before deleting it

#62539 +(273)- [X]

<+Wyrd> Trahnse... will you dye your hair down there and send me a picture?
<+Ziphy> :x
<+Trahnse> wyrd, I would do that for you if I had hair down there ;)
<+Ziphy> My dreams just got better ^_^

#74601 +(219)- [X]

[20:21] <cooldaw13>  2nd Hint: 176*   30.0 secs & 12 Points Remaining
[20:22] <cooldaw13>  3rd Hint: 176*   15.0 secs & 6 Points Remaining
[20:22] <StealthStalker> 1760
<StealthStalker> 1761
<StealthStalker> 1762
<StealthStalker> i give up
<cooldaw13>  Times up!  The answer was ->  1763  <-
<StealthStalker> OMG

#75497 +(176)- [X]

<Vang> Ack!  I'm trapped in a bad Radio Shack commercial!
Vang suddenly calms down when he realizes his wife was once Miss America and a Playboy Playmate.
<Shun> and then tense up again when you realize most of male America has seen her naked
<Vang> Bah, who cares?  I'm the only one that sees her naked right now. :)
<Shun> thats what you think ;)
<Kid_Chameleon> Not if you pay $14.95 for her WebCam

#75939 +(438)- [X]

<alpha[nB]> Lets have mirc war!
* alpha[nB] was kicked by de|Legacy`away (i win)

#94604 +(999)- [X]

[ Rjx ] either the chocolate in my pocket has melted, or this is something altogether more sinister

#138618 +(536)- [X]

<Joe> I know everything there is to know about masturbating
<Tiffany> teach me joe
<Joe> OK WELL FIRST FIND YOUR PENIS
<Joe> YOU GOTS ONE OF THOSE RIGHT??
<Joe> BECAUSE OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY DIFFICULT
<Tiffany> o damn
<Tiffany> nevermind then

#138832 +(922)- [X]

<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally.

#183584 +(395)- [X]

<Kublah> stealing from drug dealers is like takin candy from a well armed baby

#196386 +(406)- [X]

<Santa> all these chocolate bullets
<Biscram> isnt there something you're forgetting to do tonight santa
<Santa> THE PRESENTS!?
* Santa is away, (brb delivering presents)

#294137 +(379)- [X]

<Bubbaprog> sweet
<Bubbaprog> my posters came from the museum of modern art
<Bubbaprog> three huuuge art prints, magritte and miro, for 20 buckls shipped
<Bubbaprog> you should see the giant bazooka they came in
<Bubbaprog> it's like a tampon applicator for rosie o'donnell

#373740 +(384)- [X]

* @etelmo gets the RIAA on Merlin for his MP3's
<Merlin> what MP3s?
<@etelmo> They can find anything, even if it isnt there
<@etelmo> they should make em search iraq
<Merlin> haha

#393304 +(937)- [X]

[2nd_law_of_thermodynamics] why are the vaginas always blurred out in hentai?
[dsgasdsa] vaginas can bend light
[dsgasdsa] 'the black hole'
[2nd_law_of_thermodynamics] they must do it just to piss me off
[dsgasdsa] it's because you should be focusing on their personality
[dsgasdsa] shallow cunt

#406167 +(1269)- [X]

<Chobes> You there, Mr. Mercman2000?
<Mercman2000> I'm talking with a chick.  Piss off.
<Chobes> Text recognition AI has gotten so advanced.
<Mercman2000> This is ME.  Mercman2000 you little Chobesey fuck.  I am talking with a chick, this is the first non-postal related female contact I have gotten in for fucking never, so I don't care if your pubes are on fire and you need tech spit to douse the flames, whatever it is, IT CAN FUCKING WAIT.
<Trunks> o.o
<Chobes> omj poynt taken

#454512 +(1973)- [X]

<@Matt> 10 things men know about women.....
<@Matt> 1.
<@Matt> 2.
<@Matt> 3.
<@Matt> 4.
<@Matt> 5.
<@Matt> 6.
<@Matt> 7.
<@Matt> 8.
<@Matt> 9.
<@Matt> 10. Women have tits

#506989 +(-9)- [X]

<Varrus> sloppy seconds  :(
<pushplay> sloppy seconds
<pushplay> jinx
<Varrus> you cant jinx, you got pwned
<Varrus> :D
* pushplay punches Varrus in the penis
<SandCannon> youd have to kick his girlfriend in the purse for him to feel it.

#586858 +(0)- [X]

<Mally> before his destiny was further clarified, Robin Hood spent several years stealing from the rich and giving to the porcupines

#620964 +(-24)- [X]

<Sordly> One of the worst moments of anyone's life would have to when you realize there's only enough peanut butter to cover the front half of your body ...
<Whatanut> That's only a problem until one realizes there's still the jelly...
<Sordly> True, true
<Madster> Whatanut... ew

#777224 +(242)- [X]

<mikesch> aliens need to lay off the acid on crop circle nights.

#808640 +(940)- [X]

<schneeb> what time does sean connery get to wimbledon?
<weensuck> ..?
<schneeb> TEN-ISHHHHH
<weensuck> whichever corner of the world you run to, no-one will ever accept you

#882294 +(433)- [X]

<@jamesG> You know those naruto headbands some people actually wear?
<@jamesG> I remember someone refering to them as "Pussy Deflectors"
<@jamesG> I laughed until I saw a female wearing one...

#954118 +(101)- [X]

<Bushman> heh, those voice commands in mobile phones...
<Bushman> say "text *contact_name* message *message_text*"
<Bushman> or "email *contact_name* subject *message_subject* message *message_text*"
<Bushman> what if... just what if... the guy's name is Mr.Message or Mr.Subject?
<Bushman> :D
<Bushman> facebook.com/john.message.9
<Bushman> facebook.com/john.subject

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