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#24 +(9340)- [X] <ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
#80 +(2287)- [X] <ebim> toz.. do her doggie style and have a laptop on her back so you can talk to us
#101 +(-2)- [X] <Fred> isnt bitchx mirc?
#5389 +(-29)- [X] <noj> i hate when my wang pokes out the bottom of my jeans
#5432 +(183)- [X] <DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble
#8300 +(1136)- [X] <kat-moffobsessing> why do dongs always gain length when played live?
<kat-moffobsessing> SONGS!
#9252 +(177)- [X] <Burnquist__> : /msg NickServ@services.dal.net IDENTIFY jillhanna
<Burnquist__> fuck
*** Burnquist__ (FBI@TeraPro33-41.cable-lynx.net) Quit (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by ne14a69)))
#12089 +(229)- [X] <_luther_> Canada.. great place. They started a country and no one showed up.
#12290 +(365)- [X] <DMA57361> my sister has a theory about ppl called dave . . .
<DMA57361> every company everywhere has a least 1 person called "Dave"
<DMA57361> phone up a random company, ask for "Dave" and there will be one
#14207 +(9162)- [X] <h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
#14444 +(142)- [X] <tokage> im a pathetic fanboy when it comes to king
<tokage> I'd read tampon labels if someone told me he wrote them
#14567 +(56)- [X] <radar1976> want it?
<Spamalope> depends
<Spamalope> how big is it?
<radar1976> 6 inchs
<radar1976> kidding!
<radar1976> how big is too big?
<Spamalope> Well.. I don't want to be downloading all day
<radar1976> nah
<radar1976> if I had the space I would put it on my co lo site
<radar1976> but I can't :(
<Spamalope> that's okay
<Spamalope> are you just going to send here or what?
<radar1976> no putting in on my web server
<Spamalope> sounds good :P
<Spamalope> just tell me where it's at when you're ready
<radar1976> give it 4 mins
<Spamalope> Bah. You're done in 4 mins?
<Spamalope> What a waste of 6 inches :P
#21002 +(255)- [X] <Pants> you know .. living in australia .. and being raised watching so much american television .. sometimes you get confused and think to dial 911 instead of 000 for emergencies
#23051 +(74)- [X] <Harlequin> i got fkn fired from westnet coz i cheated in cs
#29321 +(284)- [X] <tima> k, i'm starving
<rocky> fooooooood
<OlDirtyB> im starving too
<EConc_> god, since when did #nerdz become ethiopia?
#34426 +(361)- [X] <Yawgatog> You haven't lived until you've chugged a bottle of rubbing alcohol.
<Yawgatog> You probably haven't died until then, either.
#36754 +(389)- [X] <BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man
#37065 +(27)- [X] <Zug> Veronika: come give me head, plz
<Zug> I'm cute and single.
<Veronika9> Zug: go to hell
<Veronika9> I only give head if there is something in it for me!
<Zug> I'll talk dirty to you while you're doing it.
<Zug> how's that.
#37648 +(348)- [X] Tre Moi: OMFG I JUST POURED ICEWATER DOWN MY PANTIES
WaCKo3629: ......
WaCKo3629: I don't see how you could accidentally do that.
WaCKo3629: Or not realize what would happen.
#37936 +(859)- [X] <Taz> my FTO could top your mates prelude man no worries
<iPRoTiuS> lol are u sure? its 210hp man
<Taz> really? a prelude can do that?
<iPRoTiuS> err, yea
<Taz> bullshit wot year is it?
<iPRoTiuS> 88
<Taz> 1988?
<iPRoTiuS> no u retard. 1888. it literally has 210 hourses pulling it
#39455 +(-18)- [X] <[NOREAGA]> whine
<[NOREAGA]> nah i'm more important than u
<[NOREAGA]> ur some aol junkie
<[NOREAGA]> i've been to defcon
#42403 +(120)- [X] <SA-Thrillias> Watching porn is... different on 1600x1200.
<SA-NiteFox> You'll go blind. Really. With all the squinting.
#42587 +(235)- [X] <RushMore> I had a hendrix video playing on the computer and my dad goes in. I go "Watch this"
<RushMore> guess what he said
<RushMore> "Is that hendrix? i didnt know he was black"
#46012 +(467)- [X] <gas> games are getting too confusing now. what ever happened to click and shoot. now the key board doesn't have enough buttons to give command, have to use combos like ctrl + shift + right click + masturbate = move forward.
#54393 +(0)- [X] <Riku> The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to IRC and teach IRC in return.
#54550 +(230)- [X] <nondesc> All I need's a basic optical mouse.
<nondesc> This Logitech is like $12 street price.
<Livewireo> Strret price? are you buying illegal mice from ugly mexicans on the street corner?
#56849 +(313)- [X] <clompers> if i could, I'd paint my room a dark gray
<clompers> maybe a #666666
<Azi> you can tell you're a web geek when...
<Azi> you walk into the home improvement store asking for paint in a shade of #3264AA
#57174 +(682)- [X] <@Lujan> yet because more and more ppl are getting bigger tvs, and more computers, air con etc
<@Lujan> last house I was in was so old it had 10amps for the whole fucking house
<@Lujan> put some toast in the toaster and the computer rebooted
<Durus> hahahaha lujan. that's some funny shit
<@Lujan> Durus: no its not. I am the only person on the planet who had to run his toaster of his UPS
#58421 +(144)- [X] <cornbread> The last time I got an SMS from a chick, it said 'i h8 u fgt.'
<cornbread> I shit you not.
#65174 +(63)- [X] <an_ass733> How do you tell if your roommate is gay? When his dick tastes like shit.
#69685 +(366)- [X] <+AnimeFreak> X-Bahamut, did i have a fag count of 31?
<+AnimeFreak> err
<+AnimeFreak> frag
<@Tenchi> I'm sure your fag count is much higher.
#75203 +(122)- [X] <c0k3> sigh.. so many ppl using aim has forced me to get it.. and im actually starting to like the notices of them going offline n such.. im actually starting to like a portion of an aol product.. someone come over to my house right now.. bring a gun..
#79825 +(585)- [X] <Hiryuu> Hey, which is more evil, kicking puppies or tearing those tags off of mattresses?
<Estelle> Puppies heal, matresses don't
#82058 +(-183)- [X] <KANG> darkdude?
<darkdude> yeah?
<Tobias> Whatever the fuck you want to be called.
<Tobias> He's a newbie.
<KANG> since when did we start letting black people in here?
<Tobias> Dunno.
<darkdude> dude im not black
<darkdude> :P
<KANG> sure you aren't blacky
<Tobias> You seem like it.
<darkdude> lol
<Tobias> Mr. darkdude
<darkdude> just thought the name was OK
<KANG> I mean, the only description we have to go is "dude", meaning you lack vagina, and "dark", obviously referring to your skin color
<Tobias> Aye.
<Tobias> What the dying mullet said.
<darkdude> dark means happy
<darkdude> here
<darkdude> lol
<Tobias> In what?
<Tobias> Niggatown?
#102182 +(221)- [X] <@DrPoole> i wish i had a friendly panda
<@DrPoole> he'd be my buddy. watch tv and stuff.
<@DrPoole> drink beer.
<@niklas> get high
<@DrPoole> yeah. he'd get fucked right up and he'd beat on me from time to time.
<@DrPoole> that, would, RULE
#105176 +(64)- [X] <Satan> lmao "You know how bad evolution is going right now? Me."
#105653 +(454)- [X] <JonJonB> The url he gave me for gay porn doesn't even work
<JonJonB> ....fuck
<Fentom> YOU TRIED IT OUT?
<JonJonB> ...no?
#121764 +(647)- [X] <Desiree> my room is clean!
<Junpei> mine... is far from clean
<Junpei> but i have a chai smoothie
<Junpei> so everything is oooooooooooook
<Desiree> neet
<p00p> chai smoothie?
<Junpei> yup
<p00p> WTF?
<p00p> why do you crackers steal everything from us?
<p00p> first it's our music
<p00p> now it's our food
<Junpei> i didnt steal anything from a pile of poop, thanks
<p00p> yes, but you stole it from my peoples
<p00p> =P
<p00p> and WTF is up with this "Punjabi MC - Beware of the Boys"???
<p00p> just because they couldn't pronounce that shit they had to translate it
<Junpei> and who exactly are you people
<p00p> it didn't even have Punjabi MC in it, it was just a remix by that tosser Jay Z
<Junpei> i didnt know poop orginated from india
<p00p> Indians
<p00p> did I ever say that?
<Junpei> well, you are poop
<p00p> your tiptoeing around everything else i said
p00p (asdfsdaf@firc-1691C69E.ipt.aol.com) is now known as Siddartha
<Junpei> and besides the chai i get wasnt stolen from anyone, its actually made in india and imported here
<Junpei> so how am i stealing
<Siddartha> your stealing a part of my culture
<Siddartha> and being a poser
<Siddartha> by trying to be "hip" and "ethnic"
<Junpei> im not trying to be hip or ethnic
<Junpei> i just fucking like chai
<Junpei> get off my nuts
<Junpei> and stop trying to pull the oppressed kid from another country act, get over it
<Junpei> thats like me saying YOU USE AMERICA ONLINE YOU CULTURE STEALING BASTARD
#139611 +(124)- [X] * Aphal sets mode: +b brit!*@*
<Aphal> haha i got u
* Kat sets mode: -b brit!*@*
<Aphal> wtf
* Aphal sets mode: +b cats!*@*
* Kat sets mode: -b cats!*@*
<Aphal> >:|
* Aphal sets mode: +b polaris!*@*
<Kat> k
<Aphal> :D
<Polaris> :(
#160120 +(473)- [X] <redoz> it should be illegal to release games in the middle of midterms
#223408 +(466)- [X] (@WrmSlayer] wow
(@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
(+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
(@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds
#228636 +(600)- [X] O100111001101111: IRC = comedy Gold
Art of Tanz: did you discover bash?
O100111001101111: negative
O100111001101111: i discovered #Catholic
#245376 +(693)- [X] <paroneayea> Oh man! Oh man! Oh man!
<paroneayea> I have to tell you people the funniest thing ever.
<paroneayea> This friend of mine, a theater major, walks into my room. "Do you have a printer I can borrow?" she says.
<paroneayea> "Yes," I say, "but it's an old LaserJet 4L. Is that alright?"
<paroneayea> "Should be," she responds.
<paroneayea> Then she hands me this paper. It's like normal paper, but thicker, and... not friendly.
<paroneayea> I ask what it is and she says "cardstock."
<paroneayea> I raise an eyebrow and say, "you do realize that there's no way in hell my printer is going to print on this paper."
<paroneayea> "Oh."
<paroneayea> "Well," she says, "could we print it on normal paper and somehow transfer it to the cardstock?"
<paroneayea> "What, like print it out and literally cut it up and glue it on there?"
<paroneayea> "No, like, if you printed it out and then stuck it in your scanner, maybe we could print it out again on the cardstock?"
<althalus> wtf
<paroneayea> She couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard
<Wilf> lol
<althalus> that needs to go up on bash.
<paroneayea> agreed
#271540 +(792)- [X] <Seigfried> In other random news, there's a movie based on I, Robot by Issac Asimov coming out starring Will Smith.
<Seigfried> I hear it starts with a 5-minute montage of the cast and crew of the film peeing on Asimov's grave. :P
#506989 +(-48)- [X] <Varrus> sloppy seconds :(
<pushplay> sloppy seconds
<pushplay> jinx
<Varrus> you cant jinx, you got pwned
<Varrus> :D
* pushplay punches Varrus in the penis
<SandCannon> youd have to kick his girlfriend in the purse for him to feel it.
#661004 +(339)- [X] <Sakireth> Infinite can't be explained by math or logics either.
<Sakireth> Well, maybe a little by logics..
<bob-E> just get 8 drunk, and then u got infinity
#705161 +(428)- [X] NBnate14: GOD DAMNIT MY ROOM MATE IS MOONING ME
NBnate14: AND HE WONT STOP
MikeGinn440: kick his ass literally
NBnate14: damnit it's like live goatse
#714570 +(-1001)- [X] <komies> It got dead in here.
<komies> Riech, tell me a story.
<Shish> make it have pirates in it!
<Riech> Five pirates and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
<Riech> Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
<Riech> Each pirate will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next pirate in line will marry her and so on.
<komies> Five pirates and one woman? Seems like my kind of island.
<Riech> All the pirates get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different pirate each week.
<Riech> The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies...
<Riech> The first week after wasn't too bad.
<Riech> The second week was getting sort of bad.
<Riech> The third week was getting pretty bad.
<Riech> The fourth week was really bad.
<Riech> The fifth week was horrible!
<Riech> By the sixth week it was unbearable...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> ...
<Riech> So they buried her.
#715676 +(-184)- [X] SecureXeC: We're gonna get guns, hold you hostage, and rape you
SecureXeC: And then beat you unconscious
Krysta: :-[
SecureXeC: Then, when you wake up
SecureXeC: We'll be all
SecureXeC: YOU GOT PUNK'D BITCH
SecureXeC: And you'll be like 'lol'
#865776 +(566)- [X] <^Migs^> the way I see it, if a school district is going to block something that's useful for educational, they need to provide an alternative
<^Migs^> e.g., if you block YouTube, host your own media sharing site.
<^Migs^> if you block Myspace or Facebook, host your own social network
<^Migs^> etc.
<tensai> if you block porn, host your own naked pictures
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