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#85 +(66)- [X]

<matt> you could fit a carrot up that nose

#1128 +(625)- [X]

~ iiSII has a bump on the very edge of his eyelid.
(tektrnica) maybe it is a tumour
(letty) or an ingrown toenail

#1582 +(277)- [X]

<assman2> i hate getting cum on my hand
<assman2> its fucking annoying
<assman2> have to find something to wipe if off on
<mabbz> assman shoots it all over his chest and belly and then smears it around so he can pretend he's a glazed donut
<assman2> mabbz
<assman2> i cant shoot that far
<mabbz> oh so when you cum it just oozes out into your belly button?
<hydro> jesus
<assman2> i fucking hate when that happens
<hydro> this is fucking disgusting
<assman2> it happened to me once

#2897 +(-29)- [X]

<Pyre> Gumby's mom is hot

#7374 +(522)- [X]

<[[tom]]> this game is damn addictive...
<xcon6> minesweeper?
<[[tom]]> final fantasy x
<xcon6> same thing

#7654 +(74)- [X]

Dominion: Ill just throw it away and move on like the spoilt child that I am
Dominion: I mean, look at how I use my new pc
Dominion: I havent carressed it since the first day
Dominion: I havent complimented it on the perfect sheen of its aluminium

#12299 +(1267)- [X]

<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!

#14583 +(144)- [X]

*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left #programming

#14904 +(116)- [X]

<drunker> whats's the microsoft.com site

#20761 +(98)- [X]

<lewney> I remember being wasted last night; I went to the bathroom and shared an asla with some other guy
<lewney> cause there was a long queue
<lewney> to the bathrooms...
<lewney> yes, I'll shut up now.

#24765 +(253)- [X]

--> kNIGits (~knigits@dialup-214.69.221.203.acc07-wick-bne.comindico.com.au) has joined #lgl
<Fryboy> phwoar
<Fryboy> if you're as big as your hostmask I"m sure your wife is pleased

#34363 +(108)- [X]

<Magus> # robots.txt for http://www.riaa.com/
<Magus> # questions contact blong@riaa.com
<Magus> User-agent: *
<Magus> Disallow: /temp/
<Magus> Disallow: /admin/
* Magus cracks up

#34431 +(189)- [X]

<FairWtns> You know what I love about 'Law & Order'?
<Badtz> nope
<Badtz> do tell
<FairWtns> It's hard to find a channel which isn't playing it some time during the day.

#34686 +(639)- [X]

<Hypr> i heard theres a mexican equvalent of warez called juarez

#35417 +(269)- [X]

<Delirium> AFK, tornado
*** Delirium quit irc: (no route to house)

#36365 +(26)- [X]

<pr0tM4n_> anyone interested in 8 fatty mcse books? the ebay homo doesnt want to pay shipping
<ESD-Wyrk> no thanks, I got the movie

#39083 +(225)- [X]

(GoatBoy) WHO IS THIS SANCHEZ GUY
(GoatBoy) AND WHY IS HE DIRTY?

#47176 +(485)- [X]

<djdan> You are a really weird d00d.
<djdan> hm.
<djdan> d00d upside-down is p00p.

#49309 +(364)- [X]

<Grimmel> STICKING YOUR PENIS INTO ANOTHER DUDES ASS IS DISGUSTING
<Grimmel> UNLESS ITS MARDOM
<Mardom> what?

#50141 +(179)- [X]

* ||XanT|| touches self
<RoseyCat> none of that!
<||XanT||> but
<||XanT||> but
<||XanT||> it feels so GOOD
<RoseyCat> I said NO.
<||XanT||> ..............brb

#51084 +(964)- [X]

<Rivorus> my dad actually called the other day, and he goes "You want to talk to mom" so I say "yeah" and then I hear him shout "Gina, you wanna talk to your son" and I hear her in the back say  "I'm watching TV right now, I'll talk to him at Christmas" and my dad's like "She's... in the shower"

#52551 +(326)- [X]

<NuttO> "The proposal includes the prohibition of Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, Turck, the House of the Dead, Duke Nukem, Shadowman, Quake, Instinct Killer, Doom, the Legacy of Kain, Street Fighter and Perfect Dark."
<NuttO> I'm sure they'll see a drop in violent crimes in twenty years thanks to this ban.
<Cordelia> and in 30 years, Asia Minor will defeat Oceana

#52842 +(104)- [X]

<Valqorez> I didn't even get laid
<Valqorez> but there's always tomoromw
<McCormick> won't happend
<McCormick> you"'l have a headache
<Valqorez> Nope - I dont have hangovers
<Daedalus> you're going about it wrong
<Daedalus> YOU getting drunk won't get you laid
<Daedalus> getting the girl drunk will get you laid :)

#55468 +(171)- [X]

* DRagon87 flips quarter
<DRagon87> heads
<Squirl> is heads the bottom?

#55785 +(415)- [X]

* StorDuff has joined #suicide
<StorDuff> YOU ARE ALL USELESS
<ManInMoon> tell me something I didn't know already

#56527 +(808)- [X]

<StarThorn> Leave it to the computer programmers to shorten the "Year 2000 Millennium Bug" to "Y2K."  Isn't that what caused this problem in the first place?

#56773 +(263)- [X]

<Kamz-History-X> where do bad folks go when they die?
<Lid> into politics.

#56784 +(1543)- [X]

<Rigel> KingKashue ur pc is not as 1337 as my i have a 122 gighz pinteum 4 pc w/ 5 617 gigbyte hds and a cd-wr-rwr-drwxr-xr-x 3-way burning/dvd/vcd/mp3 playing drive and a 37 gigehurz L7 cacheeeee a 58 inch flat moniter w/ 2134x5654 resolushun and teh best part is my 400 gbps cabul capped to 1 kbps connecsion wich routes thru severel dedicatud OC-255 powered masheens wich are on T460 redirectors
<KingKashue> riiiiight...But can your's do this?
*** Rigel was kicked by KingKashue (to prove I can)
*** Joins: Rigel
<Rigel> Nope.

#72891 +(798)- [X]

<VodkaV> lol, french tanks have six gears, 5 reverse, and one forward in case they are ever attacked from behind

#76288 +(496)- [X]

<Nuclear> I can imagine watching TV while giving you head, but during sex???
<Nitronium> How can she watch TV while giving you head?
<MegaDeth> He must be a tellytubby...

#80953 +(565)- [X]

<Aemon> so what do you do? network security?
<Dark_Knight> Information security/Network security
<Aemon> cool
<Aemon> i'm a lowly webdesigner/developer
<Dark_Knight> although having IRC on my box at work is a major violation of the security policy
<Dark_Knight> but fuck it, I wrote it

#81878 +(11)- [X]

<Pyros> a little girl sees her mum standing in the shower, she points at her boobies and asks "what's that mum" to which her mum replied "these are breasts", then the girl asks "when will i get those", to which her mum replied "when you're older. Later she sees her dad in the shower, she points to his penis and asks "what's that daddy?" to which he replies "it's a penis". She asks "when will i get one of those", the reply is "when your mother leaves for work".

#81979 +(343)- [X]

* Squizzle is now known as Love
* Scourge punches Love in the face.
* Love avoids Scourge forever.
<Love> (This is called an "allegory".)
<Love> (Which derives from the Greek for "Scourge will never have a date in his life".)

#95946 +(400)- [X]

<Toasted> and I just found an unopened box of nerds under my bed while cleaning out my dormroom
<Toasted> I don't know whether to be horrified or ecstatic
<mahnchowder> eat them.  report back if you suffer any ill effects.
<Toasted> already eating

#101368 +(811)- [X]

<kindman34> fubar, how do you spend your time off-line?
<fubar-42o> what. you mean like single-player?

#105216 +(74)- [X]

<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> yeah
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> hm
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa?

#143356 +(506)- [X]

[9:43:pm] <beau> man, i have so much respect for anyone that designs adult web sites
[9:43:pm] <GodTheMod> its harder than it looks
[9:43:pm] <xie> Hahahahaha
[9:43:pm] <beau> i've been sorting through material for my site, and i can't help but get a hard on, and that means much less blood in my head.. i JUST CANT WORK LIKE THAT!

#186807 +(929)- [X]

<Comatosis> wow this room is empty! we have it all to ourselves :-p
<Alain> yup, just you and me :-)
* Comatosis gets naked
<Alain> uh, my mom is sitting here next to me, i dont want her to think i chat with perverts
* Comatosis put his clothes back on
<Comatosis> sorry

#204086 +(621)- [X]

<PitChic> did you all see about that 97 year old woman who was found alive in the rubble of the earthquake in Iran, after 8 days burried?
<Marcus``> that's fucked up
<Marcus``> old people are like indestructible, as long as they don't don't fall down and break their hip
<Marcus``> help! i've fallen and I can't get up!
<Marcus``> and a house is on me!

#238812 +(760)- [X]

<raindog> I'll ring you when I head out...
<morgamic> <3
<raindog> lol
<morgamic> want me to pick you up?
<raindog> nice testicles
<morgamic> it's a heart you jackass.
<raindog> oh

#244859 +(140)- [X]

<visi-work> I could feed a hundred hungry walruses with $10 at taco bell

#330259 +(2710)- [X]

<alien> theres a fly on my windowsill and it's rubbing its hands
<TheKnife> it's contemplating
<alien> oh shit

#448929 +(321)- [X]

<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> i have to go now
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> toodloo
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> au revoir
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> aufwierdershen
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> chin chow tay
* rohirrim-not-a-mofo was kicked by Sarumatt||Lurking (Or just plain "Goodbye.")

#480421 +(751)- [X]

<olik> Jesus was the best pirate of them all.
<olik> He walked the seven seas!
<deathfish> and got nailed to the plank instead of walking it

#576041 +(1545)- [X]

<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%

#603686 +(319)- [X]

<ravon> kamikaze_: japp
<ravon> kamikaze_: Något i den stilen, men du får lugna dig med parametrarna.
<ravon> kamikaze_: Vadå, förstår du inte vad jag säger? Bra kodde.
<wipu> oh setLocale(Locale.EN)
<ravon> wipu: nah, just speak a random language as retaliation.
<wipu> i just did, my choice was java :)

#611458 +(-397)- [X]

<ToasterIron> guys check it out i'm going to be this awesome scientist
<ToasterIron> one day i'm going to invent a base the only melts jews on contact
<ToasterIron> i'll call it holocaustic
<Tristain> "DO NOT CONCENTRATE"

#761842 +(1274)- [X]

<bofh> slugbug uh
<bofh> One time I passed this person driving
<bofh> One hand holding a cup of coffee
<bofh> the other hand holding her cellphone to her ear
<bofh> No hands on the keyboard.
<bofh> She wound up trying to merge INTO us.
<tgies> they call it a "steering wheel" I think

#769220 +(1312)- [X]

<Nukleon> the greek "hell" was cold
<Nukleon> like the norse
<@amz> the christian hell is also pretty cold, compared to its heaven
<Nukleon> uh
<Nukleon> wut?
<Nukleon> heaven is bliss
<@amz> it has liquid sulfur in it, so it can't be over 400 celsius... on the other hand, the bible describes the sun in heaven shining like 7 suns, each 7 times as bright
<@amz> which gives an estimate of 2000-3000 celsius

#909558 +(535)- [X]

<@sxh> newest contract requires "presentable" employees
<@sxh> i don't see how they could expect to find a gq model that also happens to assemble network infrastructure

0.0507 21065 quotes approved; 729 quotes pending
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