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#12158 +(298)- [X]

<Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
<BlakHawc> A simple one:  be run over, feet first, by a very slow-moving steamroller.
<Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes pop out?
<BlakHawc> Jarp:  Well, only if you're a toon.  Otherwise, you're pretty much fucked.

#12160 +(220)- [X]

<Guyp> but now i should make a decision, should i go get the gf4 or go to a l33t koala zoo :(

#12164 +(240)- [X]

<Guyp> unreal uses the Super Mario Bros. engine

#12169 +(224)- [X]

<Guyp> i want to join the red army and then kill the capitalist snake!
<Guyp> hmmm
<Guyp> you cant join the russian army online :(

#12173 +(627)- [X]

<johnsmith> Ill sit at bars and write perl on my napkin until girls are so thick around me I cant move my body

#12175 +(1732)- [X]

<TC|crapping> I AM HOMOSEXUAL AND SHOULDN'T LEAVE MY STUPID GAME LOGGED IN WHEN I GO TO THE RESTROOM.
<TC|crapping> Love, TC's wife.

#12193 +(2043)- [X]

<missing> a chick walks by, u wish u could sex her
<missing> but ya standin on the wall like u was poindexter!
<akaIDIOT> since when is sex a verb?
<corngrits> i had sex
<corngrits> isnt that a verb ?
<ceraph> no, thats a miracle

#12196 +(-252)- [X]

<@Swanson> dude i got a dell

#12200 +(158)- [X]

<@jade> i wanna jenny jones makeover
<@skold> 1-800-96-jenny?
<@jade> NOT JENNY CRAIG

#12203 +(165)- [X]

*** Joins: Xelix (gamin@k56-32.greene.xtn.net)
<Xelix> Greetings.
<Xelix> I am Dan, Jedi Knight.
<Xelix> I have come to discuss something with any of you.
<Xelix> I shall return at another time.
*** Parts: Xelix (gamin@k56-32.greene.xtn.net)

#12216 +(340)- [X]

<@RT[Ragnarok]> meet me in the middle of the 2nd level of the skeleton cave
<skold> I WANNA CAST MAGIC MISSILE

#12218 +(52)- [X]

<@skold> needle hurt like hell
<phreaked> dude.. i've had braces caught into my lip
<@skold> he sews up the artery and starts going to work on my arm
<@skold> wow jer i feel your pain
<@skold> anyhow

#12227 +(703)- [X]

<@RuneCaster> hitting a 9 year old on a crosswalk is probably bad for your driving record though
<@RuneCaster> all I remember was I was on my way to the arcade to play TMNT
<@RuneCaster> and suddenly it was sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground sky ground pain

#12232 +(196)- [X]

<Konsole> I believe we both know the english language equally.. I may not use it very well in day to day conversations but I know much big words.

#12244 +(140)- [X]

<Olpainless|ChoresNCrap> D3ad - once when jehovahs came here, i told em we were from church of satan
<D3adlode> and what happened?
<Olpainless> They just went. Quickly

#12254 +(335)- [X]

<Art`> I don't want to work with people, I'm not a big people person
<Saccy> I thought you wanted to be a surgeon?
<Art`> Well they're under general anaesthetic, I don't have to talk to them.

#12257 +(719)- [X]

<Rjx> Running Virus Decector Version 1.0.2 - Type ? for disinfect help
<dadadada> ?
<Rjx> The irc.infect.bears.you virus has been detected from your IRC client
<dadadada> how can i clean it?
<Rjx> To disinfect type "/timer 0 1 /msg <channel you are in> bear.be.gone"
<Rjx> End of Instruction -|
<dadada> ok
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
<dadadada> bear.be.gone
*** dadadada was kicked by Snes9x (flood)

#12261 +(155)- [X]

<liqshot|GreenZ> only thing more superior then the white man is an albino white man
<liqshot|GreenZ> the whitest man of all

#12263 +(565)- [X]

<ducks> HOLY SHIT
<ducks> THAT WAS A MILKSHAKE?!?!?!?!
<ducks> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<ducks> og my god. that was disgusting.
<ducks> I had this cup on my desk
<ducks> for a few months
<ducks> thinking there was soda in it
<ducks> IT WAS A MILKSHAKE

#12271 +(187)- [X]

<Colrblind> Dev: it could be worse.. you could have a mullet and actually think its cool

#12281 +(309)- [X]

<{GOD}> who has the internet

#12283 +(1107)- [X]

<Nor> i found my 1st grey pubic hair the other day :(
<Nor> It was in a BigMac

#12290 +(438)- [X]

<DMA57361> my sister has a theory about ppl called dave . . .
<DMA57361> every company everywhere has a least 1 person called "Dave"
<DMA57361> phone up a random company, ask for "Dave" and there will be one

#12291 +(367)- [X]

<Hurricane> I wonder if the Banner people would be offended if I started a
            little project that would require about 400 inserts per second
    on the Oracle server.
<Krinberry> Easy way to find out, Bran :)
<Hurricane> Yes!  Exploration through experimentation is what a University
    is all about, after all.  :)
<Gord> They mean pot and orgies, not database hosing! (:

#12292 +(195)- [X]

Daeg says, "We are watching the dead deer show."
Una says, "A whole show about dead deers?"
Daeg says, "It seems to be."
Una says, "This isn't that Canadian soft porn channel again, is it? :)"

#12298 +(635)- [X]

* brokengolfclub goes to hunt down food or sex
<brokengolfclub> whichever I find first
<brokengolfclub> I found some crackers
<brokengolfclub> they didnt really satisfy me
<GreyWulfe> You where supposed to eat them.
<brokengolfclub> damn my roomates girlfriend smells good.......

#12299 +(1269)- [X]

<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!!

#12303 +(517)- [X]

<baldurk> btw, happy independance day!!
<baldurk> although in england we call it thanksgiving day

#12304 +(391)- [X]

<@Breathe> Server announcement:  >>Attention please: We are about to reset the Linuxguy server to upgrade the chat softweare. This will cause you to disconnect. You should be able to reconnect right away. If you have any problems, please let us know in #magicstar.. We will reset linuxguy in 2 minutes.<<
<@Breathe> I love it.  "If you can't reconnect, come into a channel and let us know!"

#12306 +(553)- [X]

<AGaeris> With her gone, now Breathe is the only girl-type left for me to talk to in here.
<@Breathe> Who said you could talk to me?

#12317 +(467)- [X]

<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Lan> a little to the left

#12318 +(6264)- [X]

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

#12321 +(127)- [X]

* Joins: pSYKOSONIK (Enigma@xxx.ipt.aol.com)
<Lan> I figured he'd have a little "p".

#12322 +(450)- [X]

<Josh> hey Lan
<Josh> i just would like to say
<Josh> that if world war iii comes tomorrow
<Josh> i loved you most of all
<@Lan> i would like to say
<@Lan> if ww iii comes tomorrow
<@Lan> i loved orange soda more than any of you

#12327 +(267)- [X]

<@madragoran> then i couldn't find the buslogic module
<@madragoran> so i went and recompiled my kernel
<@madragoran> still couldn't find it
<@madragoran> oh
<@madragoran> there it is - BusLogic
<@madragoran> fucking hell
<@madragoran> since when are module names capitalized?
<@madragoran> BusLogic and NVidia think they are hot shit

#12334 +(325)- [X]

<@GoodScrat> Hello,
<@GoodScrat> I noticed you have a Linux 101 keyboard for $69 at:
<@GoodScrat> http://store.yahoo.com/pckeyboards/linux101.html
<@GoodScrat> I was wondering why this keyboard is not free.
<@GoodScrat> Thanks,
<@GoodScrat> Johnny

#12339 +(326)- [X]

<TommyLee> what site?
<Dan`> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<TommyLee> you donated 3.00 ?
<Dan`> no
<XG3> fuck i did
<XG3> i thought it was mandatory

#12340 +(247)- [X]

<ScottY> I think you're number 65344 that asks me to beam them up... please stop that, it's annoying!'
<Rain> that's what you get for taking the nick scotty

#12342 +(233)- [X]

<Atob> YOU CANT SAY "I SEE" IN TWO CHARACTERS IT'S LAZY
<Mortimer> fine
<Mortimer> i'll take a note of that
<Atob> Unless you're being ironic, then it's fine.
<Atob> But you have to be inside an ironclad and claim sanctuary.
<Mortimer> "i am presently in visual and mental awareness of the aforementioned fact"
<Mortimer> sound good?
<Atob> Sure is.

#12343 +(399)- [X]

<McMoo> i think there's a vacuum cleaner thief in the neighborshood
<McMoo> i wake up to a knocking on the door
<McMoo> some aZn woman is there
<McMoo> 'hi, i live down in 114. do you by any chance have a vacuum i could borrow?'
<McMoo> i'm not even sure there is a 114 in our building
<McMoo> and she's been vacuuming for a while now.

#12347 +(783)- [X]

<@skold> is this going to be a 'my penis is bigger than yours' conversation? cuz i have a ruler and a camera.

#12351 +(442)- [X]

*** Joins: Morrison (Me@bgm-24-95-151-178.stny.rr.com)
<Morrison> HI
<KaeFK> you are not authorized to peruse the content in this channel.
<KaeFK> you shall leave at once or be terminated
<Morrison> Sorry
<Morrison> bye
*** Parts: Morrison (Me@bgm-24-95-151-178.stny.rr.com)

#12356 +(402)- [X]

<NASTYFEET> ANY TUFF GUYS HERE THAT WILL FIGHT MY DAD ?  MSG ME

#12365 +(608)- [X]

* SoulStealer is back -[ auto-away after 60 minutes idle ]- gone 9 hr 24 min 38 s
<SoulStealer> skold
<SoulStealer> Think you should add a global command in Cygnus? /notice $*.net get's annoying.
<SoulStealer> guess not.
*** Parts: SoulStealer (NeonNitrat@user-24-214-140-218.knology.net)
<@skold> uh
<@skold> the guy idles for 9 HOURS and leaves in 10 seconds when i dont answer him

#12379 +(186)- [X]

<[{ug}]> hmm i really should spring clean this pooter. /usr/src is taking up 2.1Gb
<Lithium^> what have you got in there? the sources to your porn collection?

#12395 +(387)- [X]

<@Blackout> is it ok to masturbate and irc at the same time, what ya guys think
<@fragge> dont aim your cum on my nick

#12407 +(1088)- [X]

<Ixnorp[Regenerating]> I think I've found an excellent unit of size measurement. It's the 'I could kill you and hide your body in it' unit. People usually become very quiet after you say, "yea, I could kill you and 3 other people and hide the bodies in this"

#12423 +(505)- [X]

<Arafelis> Er, can anyone help me get rid of a virus?
<Arafelis> I sort of need to before it takes out my computer.
<Arafelis> It's creating a junk file called WIN386.swp

#12430 +(227)- [X]

<Lithium^> I always attract either scary men/ugly men/psychopaths
<Smess> what's your profile URL?
<Lithium^> Smess: gaydar/uk18
<Smess> "I like making new friends all the time, especially if you`re a big bear" - yep.. think I've found your problem.

#12431 +(9180)- [X]

<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice


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