#11087 +(18)- [X]
<Raize> I got quoted in the top 50 IRC quotes of all time
<jaguar> !add quote
<jaguar> how do u add!
#11094 +(183)- [X]
<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey
<herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards
#11095 +(310)- [X]
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album
<chrissyb0> i can see it now
<chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a
webpage with any font
#11097 +(192)- [X]
(Louhi): mind u, I'm called "whats wrong with Cock teasers?"
(Pixie_Pete): Are they like malteasers?
* Waller buys a box of Cock teasers for Mother's Day as his mother's present
#11098 +(215)- [X]
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175
#11101 +(390)- [X]
(+AeroBob): Ooh! New saying. "A Werthers Original is like anal sex..."
(@Pixie|3554Y): They're both given by grandad? :O
(+AeroBob): And, of course, both are best served hard.
#11110 +(511)- [X]
(Gopher): my brother has bound F7 to say...
* Gopher wanks
#11111 +(290)- [X]
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op?
* ssmmdd fires up Sven
(Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
#11112 +(77)- [X]
<pres589> Chuffy, were you there?
<ChuffyCow> pres589: yeah man
<ChuffyCow> pres589: I was there
<pres589> ChuffyCow: oh man, Charlie was everywhere, in the trees, talking about Richard Stallman, it was visious
<pres589> or was that a LUG meeting I went to
<pres589> same thing, it was fucked up
<ChuffyCow> I don't remember
<ChuffyCow> but we killed 'em all
<pres589> fuck yeah we did
<ChuffyCow> every last one of those GNUook motherfuckers
#11115 +(96)- [X]
<@brosie > you know what sucks
<@brosie > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie > and you get gangrene
<@brosie > in your nuts
#11116 +(398)- [X]
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once
< cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit
< cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out
< cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard
#11117 +(448)- [X]
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss
<@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach
<@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing
<@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself
#11122 +(1025)- [X]
<Super_User_2> the very first time I practiced driving I scared the shit
out of my dad. It was a manual transmission truck. I had it in first and
tired to shift, but the timing on the clutch was fucked up and it just
spun, but the pedal was lighter then I thought and I floored it. The
truck sounded like it was doing 90 and my nervous laugh sounded maniacal.
He just screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as we moved about 1/2 mile an hour...
he drove home.
#11123 +(615)- [X]
<Spike> You know what I want to do? I want to go on eBay and buy all the
souvenier pieces of the Berlin wall, then reconstruct it along the Mexican border
#11130 +(1386)- [X]
<InvalidUser> Its like my Uncle Eric used to say, he'd say... "IU, lookit
the ass on that guy" To which I'd reply, "I'm not gay Eric", and he'd say
"Oh yeah, sorry bout that" and we'd laugh and laugh. Then he'd try to
#11132 +(612)- [X]
<Tarage> I hate to update to things, they always make it worse
<@Ixnorp> you're too pessimistic. I bet that if you jumped off a building
you would expect to land in a truck full of pillows
<anorexic_poodle> wouldnt that make it optimistic
<@Ixnorp> no, because he would have failed to kill himself
#11137 +(232)- [X]
<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway
#11138 +(439)- [X]
<t_SaBeR_t> Does your Army of Darkness have a dental plan?
#11139 +(271)- [X]
<JigglyHandle> Who's the cockless drunk running my ISP?!
<K-Ecchi> You called?
#11141 +(310)- [X]
<mjvh> stupid loose ethernet connection.
<Turbonutter> ducktape is the answer to all life's problems
<Turbonutter> like beer. except ducktape rarely causes them in the first place.
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
<Turbonutter> it can do anything but is a pain in the arse to use?
#11145 +(444)- [X]
<choconado> aggh...horrible no cut and paste in mirc :(
<Saber> yes there is
<Saber> by selecting the text it's automatically copied to your clipboard
<Saber> you need to select from left to right
<choconado> my version doesn't do that...it puts up a finger icon
<choconado> oh wait...
<choconado> dude...i've had mirc for two and a half fucking years, and i learn this NOW?!?
#11146 +(344)- [X]
<spoob> drewb; it's been so long since I've had my cock sucked that I'm not sure it can handle less than one atmosphere anymore
#11148 +(447)- [X]
Meredy31: Hackers is just the coolest movie :)
Rann XXV: Indeed. n.n But only if you're not an actual hacker. But that's okay, because those people deserve to be annoyed. ^^
Rann XXV: A little payback for every system crash and virus-eaten file is in each hacker's scream of "DAMMIT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"
#11150 +(178)- [X]
<Hippie316> its HQ real media
<Hippie316> that has to be like an oxymoron for the internet
#11154 +(239)- [X]
<Tridon> hate cold water
* Tridon left the shower in a huff!
<Iksion> tridon ah your willy has shrinked in cold water?
<Tridon> this morning I had to talk him down, just so that I could take a piss... Now he's not even there any longer
#11158 +(99)- [X]
-|Darky|ZzZ- Repeat Flood Detected Please do not repeat in #pack (Last & Only Warning)
<|Darky|ZzZ> princess: Please do not repeat in #pack
<princess> ack! not again! :(
* princess says again, i am no fl00der (
<apekatt> that's just a sign that says you need to expand your vocabulary
#11159 +(413)- [X]
<Knighted> korosu: Nah, next month we'll get 9/11-themed Jenga
#11160 +(-19)- [X]
<EazyCheez> I wonder if I can't unplug my 3 1/2"'s interface cable and use that with my old CD-ROM (Samsung)
<RvLeshrac> EazyCheez: No
<pupkick> samsung is radio shack for people with mental handicaps
<EazyCheez> RvLeshrac: I can't unplug my floppy disk drive's interface cable and put it into my CD-ROM?
<thrash-> EazyCheez: Try it... it won't fit.
<feerit> EazyCheez: notice they arent the same pinout
#11164 +(235)- [X]
<Helm-work> *sigh* ..i dont know what gets into me sometimes.. I get this "hey, my password says it expires today and i need to change it" "what do i change it to"? .... im like "how about tea-bagger"? "thats a good one" .. the accountant is like "yeah! easy to remember too"
#11166 +(503)- [X]
<TekMounty> I think I'll have to go to a confessions, at the adaptive technologies expo, there was a 19 inch lcd screen just sitting there, I though to myself "If I ran out with this none of these disabled people could catch me"
#11168 +(208)- [X]
<ScumDog> I'm gonna descend into the popup hell of astalavista.com
<ScumDog> wish me luck
<R0SC0E> <scum's mom> what's this bang bus all about
#11169 +(696)- [X]
<klerck> I've been wearing my immortality bracelet for a month, and I haven't died yet
#11170 +(250)- [X]
<niles> i just baught this kick ass afgan rug downtown
<niles> it has landmines, pistols and attack helicopters
#11171 +(194)- [X]
<pupkick> i just did my first mouthrinse with the shit i was prescribed.. i've been putting it off because i was worrying about pain like i get with scope and shit.. it was hella easy.. almost even tasted good.. now i can only blame myself for infections and extra swelling =/
<blitzoid> pupkick: You knew the risks when you became a gigalo.
#11173 +(357)- [X]
<tek231> you guys hear about that lady who layed down on some subway tracks, then the train hit her
<tek231> she sued and won 10 million
<Mysteri0> tek231: The train hit her and she's not a blood sprinkler?
<Cap0ne_> did she lose any body parts?
<tek231> I'm not sure, just caught the end of the story
<tek231> on tv, let me see if I can find it
<Knighted> tek231: You hear about that guy who tried to convey news on irc without a url?
#11174 +(447)- [X]
<@BitStream> well, I moved the couch down stairs
<@BitStream> so the new one can be put where the old one was
<helixblue> against the wall?
<helixblue> ahh.. I was hoping that sound was you cleaning the dishes
<helixblue> I ate my cereal for breakfast with measuring cups this morning.
<@BitStream> I was trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible before work, so thats less to do when I get back :/
<@BitStream> helixblue: did you look in the right cabinet
<@BitStream> there were bowls in there yesterday
<helixblue> bits: I used the measuring cups as spoons
#11176 +(369)- [X]
<IronCurtain> I can talk to two people on the internet at the same time
<Shoryu> DAMN D00D your l337
#11177 +(674)- [X]
<Gav3in> I've been in Taipei though, and holy shit does it have a big chinatown
#11178 +(225)- [X]
<niles> If you use that logic, then using a completely open and unsecured network would be ok if you sealed the computer in a locked metal box, since it would deter physical attacks by baseball bats (ALL attacks are of equal value, right?). Or you could say that adding the line "WWJD" to the telnet login prompt would be a valid defense since it would lower the instance of attacks by Christians by 80%.
#11179 +(399)- [X]
<drastic> anyone know of a program that would display free hd space for multiple drives on the desktop or something?
<ninth> drastic: you could write down how much space is free on a piece of paper.. then scan it.. and set it as your wallpaper
#11181 +(853)- [X]
<bean2edu>Try seeding the RNG with the current system time, that should help somewhat
<kram>You do know that the numbers generated are still pseudo-random, and not true RNs. In fact there is no way to generate true random numbers.
<bean2edu>Obviously you've never had your wife balance the checkbook.
#11183 +(62)- [X]
<Mbeta> if i were going to break up with a girl who i had grown to hate
<Mbeta> i would rub poison ivy in the crotch area of all her panties
<MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> better yet
<Mbeta> yea, where am i gonna get herpes?
<chibi> pooty can give you herpes
<Mbeta> everyone already has herpes in NY
<Mbeta> come on now.
<Mbeta> that's like saying
<Mbeta> if i had aids i would run around in africa touching everyone
#11184 +(182)- [X]
<LordViper> Atarax: in all honestly, we don't care what you do in your spare time, however if it has entertainment value, we like to hear it
#11185 +(1056)- [X]
<[AFT]^Kempi> what really got her mad was....
<[AFT]^Kempi> when i was burning a CD and got up from sex 1/2 way through and changed the cd
<[AFT]^Kempi> she didn't talk to me for a while
#11188 +(-24)- [X]
knickslover3333: yea reading this was the biggest waste of time in my entire life, this overachieving sack of shit makes me want to vomit blood all over his face
#11189 +(-40)- [X]
<bertle> i smell gay
#11194 +(237)- [X]
*** SpeedySavant is now known as Savant
<Shadow|AFK> faster than a speeding bullet!
<Shadow|AFK> more powerful than a locomotive!
*** Savant (email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Baralu> Ironic :)
<Shadow|AFK> alright a slow locomotive
#11196 +(140)- [X]
<[OsP]Magus> Awesome, my font is back to normal
<[OsP]Magus> Okay, this is getting to be nifty
<[OsP]Magus> Only things that'll still take some getting used to are the channels on the bottom, and in alphabetical order
<Crazy-Man-Dan> Geek alert
<Crazy-Man-Dan> Magus redecorated IRC
#11197 +(33)- [X]
<Jubei301> Luke was complaining about being at the theater, and these guys one row back were having a very stupid conversation about whether or not styling their pubes a good idea... I think theyre just trying to impress their boyfriends, seeing as pubes would be at eye level for them...
#11200 +(225)- [X]
<Atarax> Canada is the USA's largest national park