#8776 +(60)- [X]
<Yurmaster> I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
#8782 +(738)- [X]
<maywood> Has a PC ever been known to start mysteriously working after it was thrown out a window?
<kevin> Nope, I've never known throwing a PC out the window to help. However, what I did find while I was working at my last job was that intimidation *does* work. When I was having a particularly bad day, I used to take some old equipment that we wouldn't have been able to sell outside, and go Office Space on it. Then, I'd bring the carcass inside, and leave it in plain view, to serve as a warning for the other computers. It worked remarkably well.
#8784 +(306)- [X]
<blazed> yeah, what do you guys do when nobody is watching you?
<PMonk> roll my boogers into a ball and play with them, measure my dick with a tape ruler, chew my toenails..
<princealbert> try to suck my dick.. im making progress
<heurist> clamp the area between my asshole and testicles with my fingers, the 'taint' as its often called, then i jerk off.. when im about to ejaculate, i can delay it for like 10 secs, then it flies across the room.
#8789 +(626)- [X]
<Stain> when i was 8 i still thought girls were the enemy. Now, 12 years later, i'm fucking one.
<HailBrak> stain: an 8 year old girl?
<Idioteq> WITH A KNIFE
#8799 +(30)- [X]
<Adrxelna> Besides, I can't go directly to sleep after playing a game. My heart beat goes WAY up when playing AO or AC or DAoC or EQ
#8800 +(266)- [X]
<happy> i have problems cooking on the stove, because i run into my room to chat on irc or somehting, and it catches fire
#8801 +(248)- [X]
<cognac> i've discovered some serious design flaws regarding the human body!
<cognac> you see, we got two or more of almost all body parts..
<cognac> like ears, eyes, arms, legs, fingers, toes ++
<cognac> however, for the things that we REALLY like to do, like eating and fucking, we're only equipped with one tool
<cognac> or perhaps my discovery is just the answer to why we like oral sex and why "american pie" was made?
#8805 +(387)- [X]
<HailBrak> "Oh shit! I got the shoe! I'm so invincible! Oh! Eat it, you bitch! You don't understand! I got the damn SHOE! It's the shoe! And look at how cute I am with my stupid plumber head poking out of the wind up sock! I am the cutest invincible shoe rider ever! Mario! Mario! He's in the ULTRA green SHOOEEE!"
#8806 +(363)- [X]
<moira> MY TEETH AR NUMB I BET I COULD BITE THROUH A CAR
#8807 +(198)- [X]
[Chocolate_Jihad] ahh depth perception she is harsh mistress
[Chocolate_Jihad] so much good but at such a great cost
[Darkure] you mean to your dignity?
#8809 +(153)- [X]
<moira> Ibet I could play my lungs like a harp if they weren't stuck insdie my body
#8810 +(29)- [X]
<Sarkazein> i was STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN drunk
<Sarkazein> and she wanted me to rub her clit
<Sarkazein> talk about fucking effort
<Sarkazein> i was ready to pass out
<Stu_pid> from rubbing her clit?
#8812 +(341)- [X]
<+Sheri> *gasp* I neverrrrrr
<@LabMonkey> the fuck you didn't, I videotaped that shit
#8814 +(12965)- [X]
<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
#8820 +(216)- [X]
<OhioJoe> Steempy, you mentioend an automatic swich box.. I have a chrome box that has a switch on it too, with coax connecters on eitehr side, with a switch on it.. that is a manual switch box?
<God-Zilla> nah, thats a prostate stimulator
<neogeoMAN> I have one of those wired to my tinfoil hat.
<neogeoMAN> I can switch the aliens on or off.
#8822 +(186)- [X]
<bytraper> im like midas... everything I touch turns to shit
#8824 +(46)- [X]
<person> jezabel's perrrty hot..
<Coolblunt> the reason obsie hates jez so much is cuz i think ralph said she was hot :)
<steebis> obsie is a tubby bitch too
<steebis> its called jealousy
<Coolblunt> in baseball terms if jezebel is home plate obsie is out in the parking lot somewhere
#8825 +(216)- [X]
*dpk* man, i need to start taking cocaine.
*dpk* i keep getting winded waling up stairs
*necroid* you should just start smoking
*necroid* it'll make it worse, but at least you'll have an excuse
#8829 +(1042)- [X]
<TheTheory> I only have two exams left this semester
<TheTheory> Math (easy) and English (WERY easy)
#8830 +(954)- [X]
<pr0k> I could do it when I was like 15, however, the pleasurable sensation of having a mouth on my penis was completely cancalled out by the sensation of having a penis in my mouth.
#8832 +(450)- [X]
mike > What do they send you if you send those penis enlargement companies some money?
mike > "No pill, no pumps. Simple exercises you can do at home.". I have a feeling I am probably already doing whatever it is.
#8834 +(72)- [X]
mike_afe > I just watched Wild Wild West. What a turkey. I chose it over The Water Boy and The Thin Red Line. What a dick. This reminds me of the time that Moretom came back from the shop with an Atari ST under his arm...
#8835 +(262)- [X]
mike_afe > [John's dad is sick of waiting. His son has been in 'that bloody bathroom' for nearly two hours. Finally, his temper snaps; he kicks down the door to discover his son knealing infront of the 68000 data manual.]
mike_afe > "Ah! Shut the door dad!"
#8836 +(83)- [X]
<D1> can't touch this.
<var> thats because were not gay and have no desire to d1
#8837 +(99)- [X]
<Ez> School books are fun to sell.
<Ez> and will be forever
<Vazagi> Isn't sort of like selling crack? Rots the mind and so on...
#8844 +(296)- [X]
<marius_#acknak> Prosecutors, quoted by the Associated Press and Reuters, also said the man was carrying a CD-ROM in his baggage that contained a training programme for fighters wanting to wage "holy war."
<marius_#acknak> I wonder if this training program is based on the quake engine.
#8845 +(403)- [X]
<Fetch#acknak> 19 apache processes
<Fetch#acknak> I think maybe your mail server has a problem ;)
<karlitoX#acknak> are those forked or threaded
<Fetch#acknak> karlitoX: does it matter? its a mail server ;)
<karlitoX#acknak> it's a mail server with aspirations! do not stifle it's creativity
#8846 +(300)- [X]
<IH8Pants> I was too talented for the football team
<IH8Pants> So I joined band
#8848 +(25)- [X]
<Balli> I know a few sluts like that
<BadMojo> welcome to germ city
<BadMojo> "hi, could I take your order please?"
<jaunty> this bitch needed her kneecaps reconstructed because she spent to long on them
<BadMojo> "Yeah, I'd like a lay with a side order of herpes and a super-sized case of the clap, please"
#8849 +(342)- [X]
<Balli> the kid in the middle of the pic is getting his ass fingered
<Balli> look at his face
<jaunty> balli.. thats me, cockmonger
#8851 +(541)- [X]
<Grumbledook> my mum told me off for saying fuck in front of her
<bodhi> my dad bollocks me for saying piss in the house
<dave> my mum told me off for shitting on a plate and putting it in the fridge
#8853 +(846)- [X]
<tom> did you hear about the magic tractor?
<tom> it went down the hill and turned into a field!!!
<dave> did you hear about the magic tom?
<dave> he went down the hill and I stabbed him in the face
#8854 +(16)- [X]
<Shrap> What is pubes?
#8855 +(132)- [X]
<Anton> I was just talking to a girl on msn and she stopped replying so I said I wanted to fuck her in the ass to get her attention
<Anton> then her little brother just said "soow y anton i have stolen my putta zar is npot bein wude shell brb"
#8857 +(240)- [X]
ωνω mode/#mandrake [+v nomercy] by level
<aqela> my linux came
<[Mosher]> did yah get any on you ?
#8863 +(149)- [X]
<Bikky> I've been staring at fserves so long I don't know whether I need a shit or a haircut
#8864 +(297)- [X]
<+Sonikku> 10 PRINT "_Bobbi_ is a PROGRAMER!"
<+Sonikku> 20 GOTO 10
<@dixon> Sonikku: what is that ? assembly ?
#8866 +(368)- [X]
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know
#8867 +(52)- [X]
<Rance> i'm right next to a gateway country... i should walk in with my powerbook :)
#8873 +(216)- [X]
* Crimson has joined #arsclan
#8875 +(310)- [X]
<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?
#8881 +(902)- [X]
<fo0bar> man, do you know HOW FUCKING LONG a 15ft kvm cable is?
#8886 +(214)- [X]
<Ven> This is a long shot, but
<Ven> has anyone seen the pinout for the 4-player connector for the CPS2 arcade system?
<Ven> Oh fuck!
<Ven> I bet it's in my D&D Mystara manual
#8887 +(55)- [X]
<GoodScrat> how's the humanoid with the wet crotch doing?
<Zygote-> and hill billy slang
<Zygote-> you mean my wife?
#8888 +(220)- [X]
<tirloni> drolp, I was going to get a XP1900+, then a bill suddenly got in my table. Then I moved to a XP1500. Another bill, Duron. By the end of the month Iwas looking at the prices of a p133mmx
<aq> pharcyde: are you running a window manager?
<tirloni> now I'm happy with my calculator
#8891 +(52)- [X]
:TheDude: why are some Vhosts not traceable while some are traceable?
:TheDude: is one from a whois
#8893 +(222)- [X]
<Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
<Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."
#8896 +(240)- [X]
<StoneTear> damn i'm hot
<StoneTear> i smell like barbequed eliteness
#8899 +(252)- [X]
<Lazzay> PREPARE ALL ASSES FOR IMMEDIATE ENTRY
#8902 +(291)- [X]
<DL|horses> Death to all who oppose me!
* Warlord dies