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#7442 +(564)- [X]

<F|uke> I like to have sex with Enya playing in the background
<F|uke> Enya doesnt mind it either.,....she just sits, watches and plays

#7443 +(558)- [X]

<`]{rAzY]`> My penis is so big that when black men look at it, they say "Hey man, you got a big penis"
<dubdope> krazy... why do you have black men looking at your penis?
<dubdope> plus krazy.. how do they know what your penis looks like when they have you bent over?

#7444 +(6215)- [X]

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand.  An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches.

#7449 +(173)- [X]

<iec|brb> k why are my shoes wet?
<Lucid`> iec - cuz i missed yer cheek....

#7450 +(390)- [X]

<@Bojangle> splurge: This one time, my friend called the cops for getting a threatning phone call. SO the cops come over to just see what my friend is like, to judge if he was BSing or not
<@Bojangle> So they come over, and start chatting my friend up, they go, "What do you do?" and he's like, "I'm a computer consultant
<@Bojangle> "Oh yeah, what are ya' working on?" and he's like, "Oh, some webserver"
<@Bojangle> So then these two cops start talking about how he should use another server, and how the server he's using sucks, and how he should set up a database for certain things, lmao
<@splurge> HAHAHA
<@Bojangle> And my friend's like, "What are you, cops or computer programmers?" and he's like, "Oh, I just like to play around in my spare time"
<@Bojangle> It was like something outta Seinfeld
<@splurge> id skullfuck them and leave their corpses in the backyard
<@Bojangle> Me too

#7452 +(426)- [X]

*** Now talking in #-[TF]-
*** Topic is '*** Denmark has quit Worldcup (Read error: Connection reset by England)'

#7453 +(401)- [X]

<Kefka_> Rap is for people who need to be influenced by a culture of uneducated fools who have primary goals of "ballin" and becoming fly by having a dope ride.

#7454 +(208)- [X]

<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable

#7455 +(147)- [X]

<Scire> Yeah well I haven't been IRCing much lately
<E-vangelist> Scire: finally figured out you could masturbate with your other hand, eh?

#7456 +(48)- [X]

Ahmed is now known as ahmed_TOP_GUN
<ahmed_TOP_GUN> oh, hmm, i put in the wrong movie ---
ahmed_TOP_GUN is now known as ahmed_THOMAS_CROWN_AFFAIR

#7457 +(226)- [X]

<mp> wanna invest in some mp love coupons?
<dev0n> mp: no. i think my mutual fund will perform better :)

#7458 +(45)- [X]

<loathe> CF 5 is way way better
<dev0n> way way better than what? a hand job from your mom?

#7459 +(783)- [X]

<trimp> indd: go smell your mom's panties
<indd> i cant, she threw them at aerosmith.

#7461 +(370)- [X]

<Poltergeist21>I want to fuck the olsen twins right in the ass!!
<Poltergeist21>Dude, my balls goin smack smack smack against their teen asses..yum yum!1
<Charlesowns>Dude, i said that ten years ago!

#7463 +(65)- [X]

<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil overexcited

#7464 +(253)- [X]

<Poltergeist21> I want to fuck the olsen twins right in the ass!!
<Poltergeist21> Dude, my balls goin smack smack smack against their teen asses..yum yum!1
<Charlesowns> Dude, i said that ten years ago!

#7466 +(322)- [X]

<gage> i found a 4x scsi cdrom on the street just now
<gage> i love how often i find hardware on the street
<gage> this was from a mac that looked like it had been beaten with a
       sledgehammer

#7467 +(198)- [X]

<tris> all the tech contact email is signed "MFN Corporate Communications" now
<tris> maybe they are the ones running the routers
<neruaL> that would imply that a) they were running and b) someone had control
         over it

#7469 +(228)- [X]

<gage> i drank a beer in the shower today
<christ> dude, you drank a beer in the shower?
<gage> i sho did
<gage> cold beer + hot shower = good
<christ> dude, this is what state OPs is in, we don't have time to drink a
         beer like normal people anymore

#7473 +(493)- [X]

<@straylight> ARGH
<@straylight> how can the AIM name "shotbybothsides" be taken? WHO THE FUCK WOULD TAKE THAT?
<@straylight> ...
<@straylight> other than me?

#7475 +(306)- [X]

<w3nis> this bread smells weird
<w3nis> but tastes fine
<Guilty> Much like a penis

#7476 +(951)- [X]

* rax humps Arwen`
<Arwen`> rax: down boy!
* rax humps lower

#7477 +(577)- [X]

* terra begins dousing people in gasoline
<hngkong> Terra, why kill us?
<terra> Shush
<terra> it's perfume

#7478 +(239)- [X]

[Demon5] ;p
[far_call] what's that symbol supposed to mean?  "I have a scar on my cheek and I'm a mouth breather"?

#7479 +(331)- [X]

<rlorenzon> ...and that's when i knew she was the one
<wolfnip> how did you know that?
<rlorenzon> because...i lost all my friends.

#7483 +(237)- [X]

<Chrizto> 6 irc channels, 7 mailing lists, and not a damn thing is going on

#7484 +(247)- [X]

<Chrizto> this unix shit is never going to catch on at this rate.

#7485 +(340)- [X]

<Chrizto> show me a chick worth worrying about after you're not the one fucking them anymore and I'll show you the value of the imaginary number i

#7486 +(306)- [X]

<hopi> let's talk about my need for once
<hopi> er wrong window

#7490 +(321)- [X]

<sortof> i slept on a glowstick wrong

#7493 +(1904)- [X]

<Cerebus> being bi-polar must suck
<Kender> well yes and no

#7494 +(153)- [X]

<Chrizto> I had too much of this hot sauce last night called "scorned woman"

#7495 +(179)- [X]

<SkyCriesX> i drooled into my friends eyeball once by mistake while experiencing a strong nitrous hit

#7496 +(371)- [X]

<Aura> oh my god
<Aura> i just passed one of thos adult diaper commercials
<Aura> they are trying to make it look sexy
<Aura> they showed this sexy leg with polished nails
<Aura> going into a diaper
<SkyCriesX> thats canada for you

#7497 +(175)- [X]

<mild7> its always real nice when you step out of bed and step into wetness

#7498 +(57)- [X]

<sort> so would someone on dxm be called detarded?

#7499 +(1418)- [X]

<paat> I AM FEELING SOMETHING THAT NO EMOTICON CAN DESCRIBE

#7501 +(127)- [X]

<dirtynumbangelboy> SCREW HUMANITY LETS DO MORE NITROUS YAY

#7502 +(31)- [X]

<miss_tekky_stylez> yeah
<miss_tekky_stylez> asian shits are dope..
<miss_tekky_stylez> like take for instance
<miss_tekky_stylez> when a big log hits the water
<miss_tekky_stylez> it doesn't make the "bloop" noise..
<miss_tekky_stylez> it goes... "You break you buy!"
<miss_tekky_stylez> or "You have dishonord my family!"

#7503 +(288)- [X]

<djfisty> i woke up with samuel l jackson's hairstyle from 'unbreakable'

#7508 +(181)- [X]

<Cerebus> ravers don't go to heaven or hell, they go to plurgatory  :(

#7509 +(56)- [X]

<SkyCriesX> tumors don't cuddle

#7511 +(295)- [X]

<orb2k> raves are just an excuse
<jovana> for what?
<orb2k> for grinding my teeth and petting everything

#7513 +(289)- [X]

<eth0_tulip> once, i stabbed a guy in LA, for not closing both eyes at the same time when he blinked

#7515 +(422)- [X]

<LadyLegs> i'm anal about what goes into my body

#7517 +(227)- [X]

<rawkus> fuckin women.
<rawkus> i call for booty and get a lecture on racism
<rawkus> wtf?

#7518 +(216)- [X]

<Cerebus> death is the ++ at the end of life

#7519 +(361)- [X]

<[Matt]> the only thing about mullholland drive that didn't confuse me entirely was the lesbian sex scenes
<[Matt]> other than that, i was lost

#7520 +(281)- [X]

<g33kk0r3> anyone know what carpet bombing is?
<vaportrail> umm...taking a crap on a vagina?

#7523 +(46)- [X]

<orbZ> the fuckin taliban took our only good search engine


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