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#5741 +(247)- [X]

(nexxai) chali: can I flood your port?  maybe brute force my worm through your backdoor....sniff some packets perhaps?

#5744 +(63)- [X]

<bytraper> its because your gay syn
<Synoptica> and you are illiterate
<bytraper> maybe but it sure beats the hell out of being gay

#5746 +(145)- [X]

<Udeth> my mother came in and demanded that I'd move shit off my floor, so she could wash my room tomorrow, because it smells rotten in here.
<Udeth> i can't smell shit.
<ToRMeNTeD> well if theres shit on the floor no wonder it smells rotten

#5747 +(4)- [X]

<Auger> i stayed in a hospital when i was in second grade and i peed my bed cause i couldn't get up and i was too scared to call someone in

#5748 +(336)- [X]

<sjelkjd> stop the room, please, i'd like to get off

#5750 +(644)- [X]

<TeNcHi420> i went to this store to buy a pipe, and there was only one left, and hes all "its unbreakable" so i was like thats pretty cool, but then he starts bangin it on the tble, and im like ok stop, but he says, "no look, you can hit it how ever many times and it wont break.." on about the 7th or 8th smack on the table the thing shatters....i almost knoked his dumbass out

#5751 +(334)- [X]

[bytraper ] dammit where can I grab porn movies :(
[OpsuPup  ] umm, try the internet
[OpsuPup  ] i hear there's lots of porn on there
[Nemesite ] really?
[OpsuPup  ] apparently
[Nemesite ] shit i would never have thought of that

#5755 +(277)- [X]

<@zartik> i just banned someone from #freebsdhelp
<@zartik> and he msg's me:
<@zartik> -06:46- [      hegemon ] So I have nobody to turn to and must go back to Windows.
<@madog> should be nice and unban him, thats evil to make him use windows =<

#5757 +(1093)- [X]

<bytraper> sheesh... I crashed the last company car I had :/
<bytraper> I pulled the sun visor down and a spider with 15 legs dropped from it
<girlie-> 15 legs.. lol
<Dark_un> thats almost 2 spiders

#5760 +(1139)- [X]

<razorjd1> But i know what's first person shoter better than any body here!!!!
<razorjd1> why ppl think that 14 years old boy can't understand in computers???
<razorjd1> what the fuck is ur prob, son tof the bitches???
<razorjd1> i play UT all day and u say that i don't know what's first person shoter is???
<razorjd1> i overclock since i was 10 so don't call me stupid, i understand in computers better than any one here.
<razorjd1> Beware, or else i will hack to ur computer...
<razorjd1> Fuck u all!!!

#5761 +(445)- [X]

<Anton> I can see myself reinstalling windows
<A|exander> wow, are you having an out of body experience?

#5763 +(741)- [X]

<Urganite> THERE ARE NO BAGELS BUT ONION, AND MOHAMMED IS HIS PROPHET
<Urganite> ...
<OneiWilly> you are worshipping a false bagel

#5764 +(475)- [X]

<Grizzly_Addams> So? I just want your Mac address.
<AngryChicken> ...this is a PC ;-)

#5770 +(336)- [X]

<JDigital> Kazz, I think they're pretty obvious going on your reputed dicksize.
<JDigital> Kazz has a 183948192 inch dick.
<dregan> Kazz - envy of every man, dog and skyscraper architect on the hemisphere.

#5774 +(972)- [X]

<p> sux when u have a problem so u eat a cup of pudding and then u still
    have problem

#5775 +(20124)- [X]

* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
  being an asshole -          
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

#5777 +(247)- [X]

<prym> little did i know later in my life id come to terms with things like
       31337, 69, and 187

#5778 +(648)- [X]

<guest> u kno what rules
<guest> introducing girls to pot
<yesue> no lie
<guest> u smoke pot alone with a girl for the first time
<guest> there is a 250% chance of getting laid

#5779 +(248)- [X]

<dk> im trying out tantric peeing

#5782 +(156)- [X]

<djm> irc's my anti-drug

#5784 +(216)- [X]

<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.

#5785 +(59)- [X]

<scar_> what was the fastest vehicle in ww2?
<Hatter> ?
<Hatter> Jet
<Hatter> ww2 saw the first jet engine
<scar_> no, silly
<scar_> a jew on a bicycle through berlin
<Hatter> :\

#5786 +(731)- [X]

<OneiWilly> i hate games that are always go get the red key
<OneiWilly> open the red door then get the blue key
<delay> yea
<Auger> yeah, i mean, what the fuck
<delay> thats why i didnt play resident evil
<delay> it was horrible like that
<OneiWilly> yea but there were zombies
<delay> I was like "damn i'd hate to live here and have to go to the bathroom"
* delay runs down the hall, grabs the blue gem, opens door one, runs back to get SHIELD EMBLEM makes it to the bathroom door... wets himself
<Auger> no you pee inside the emblem and it opens up a secret passage

#5791 +(73)- [X]

(skankman) apparently i have tasty jizz
(skankman) i heard paper crumpling in the hallway
(skankman) and i went to check it out
(skankman) and my dog was licking a piece of paper with my jizz on it

#5793 +(213)- [X]

<]SpIkE[> HELP ME!!! my 120 chipset monitor 17 inch with Gforce 4 doesn't support the internet!

#5804 +(669)- [X]

<+mirkin> does anybody know if it is possible using ms access to create a report which shows the records of a table
<+mirkin> but shows 3 columns across the page
<+mirkin> i.e
<+mirkin> record 1        record 2        record 3
<+mirkin> record 4        record 5        record 6
<+GoodScrat> That is impossible
<+GoodScrat> Computers are not that far advanced yet

#5805 +(287)- [X]

<evenpar123> I am so going to be moderated for that last comment...
<mightyflo> console wars are stupid. people that get involved with console wars are even stupidder
<evenpar123> Console wars?  I was just giving some information, and making fun of the fact that his parents don't love each other anymore

#5808 +(427)- [X]

<GreetServ> [A|exander] l44t
<notrino> laat ?
<A|exander> yeah
<A|exander> its one better than l33t
<notrino> err..yeah better than
<notrino> l33t :D
<A|exander> you're getting it
<notrino> than , why not 99 ?
<A|exander> small steps man, small steps

#5810 +(364)- [X]

<A|exander> i bet aguilera would be as dirty as fuck
<DarthJesus> I dunno'
<DarthJesus> I think she'd be too self involved to want to do anything for you
<A|exander> not if i knocked her unconscious first.

#5819 +(310)- [X]

[Synoptica] Just when you thought porn spam couldn't stoop any lower...
[Synoptica] 'DOGFART SLUTS!'

#5823 +(262)- [X]

<mendel> now that I think of it, O'Reilly is to a system administrator
<mendel> as a shoulder length latex glove is to a vetinarian.

#5836 +(450)- [X]

<PhantomOfTheRouter> never got another call from them till they bought a new accounting package that needed Win95
<PhantomOfTheRouter> and Novell for the servers..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> went in to upgrade the machines..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> moved the first 2 workgroup servers to Novell 4.11
<PhantomOfTheRouter> couldn't find the third
<PhantomOfTheRouter> asked them where they moved it to...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> umm, moved ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> yeah, where did you move WKG3SRV to ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> ummm...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> we didn't change anything
<PhantomOfTheRouter> You had to have moved it when you remodelled the office! The wiring closet in the hall is gone...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> oh shit!

#5853 +(634)- [X]

<Spooooky> Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell, I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking?
<Spooooky> They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from him"
<Spooooky> Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the catcher

#5856 +(182)- [X]

<charon> <danybear:#bearcave> danybear is a six one, 210 lb, hairy leatherbear in Toronto, 50 years old, 6 uncut
<charon> whatever you do, don't join #bearcave asking for warez
<FishBulb_> charon: uncut means 0-day you tard

#5862 +(487)- [X]

<SDHawk> I tried to go to dictionary.com, but I can't spell it right.

#5863 +(2937)- [X]

<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain

#5869 +(546)- [X]

<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)

#5872 +(682)- [X]

<Kuiburetsu> I feel betrayed
<Kuiburetsu> denied
<Kuiburetsu> and... and...
<Kuiburetsu> erm...
<Kuiburetsu> about to be kicked for flooding
*** Kuiburetsu was kicked by Quiby (flood)

#5874 +(826)- [X]

<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's performance accordingly

#5876 +(268)- [X]

<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!"

#5883 +(479)- [X]

<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody. shes not around,
          he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?

#5885 +(412)- [X]

<splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
<splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
<purenergy> ya
<purenergy> u can do that now
<purenergy> use ur imagination
<splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl in a bar
<splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her spatch
<splurge> wiggle it around
<splurge> vibrate
<splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
<splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a seat beside you
<splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny

#5888 +(751)- [X]

<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk"

#5895 +(126)- [X]

<ackbar> marriage is like buying a car. Its better to lease them and get a new one next year

#5900 +(225)- [X]

<madvirii> you gotta wake up with a certain "attitude" to face the day and lick some asshole
<CoMBo> yeah or grow up eating some really shitty cooking to acquire a taste for anus
<madvirii> yes anus would be an acquired taste
<madvirii> not something you instinctively put to your mouth

#5902 +(863)- [X]

<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future

#5903 +(189)- [X]

<Gir> Final Fantasy: The Bible Adventure Coming to DVD
<Toen> what the hell is that?
<Gir> hehe
<Toen> "Cecil, deliver baby Moses! Please do not throw him into the water!"

#5914 +(195)- [X]

<kriticall> i can fold the $20 to look like two naked chicks

#5918 +(481)- [X]

<base2> linux people think of windows more times a day than I think of sex

#5920 +(31)- [X]

[Wz0Ds] hello i want some root i got a lots of CCs (verified) and 2 or 3 virgins /msg me (I HAVE TO VER/RIP FIRST)


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