#5438 +(199)- [X]
<Spooky> What agitates your grotesquely large noggin?
<Alexander> Human EXISTANCE
<Spooky> Righto...only that?
<Spooky> I accepted their powerful funk of stupid long ago...only not really.
<Spooky> I can't go to a mall when it's busy or I start shaking.
<Spooky> Shaking (read: Killing)
<Alexander> yeah I know that shaking/maiming feeling
#5440 +(379)- [X]
<Spooky> So I'm arguing with this guy about Starwars
<Spooky> which I hate
<Spooky> And he's like: " I hated episode 1 cause jar jar was stupid"
<Spooky> and I said that Jar jar was about as stupid as ewoks
<Spooky> and he got all idignant and said ewoks were cool
<Spooky> WTF IS WRONG WITH STAR WARS FANS
#5443 +(763)- [X]
<kepler> hold that face goku
*aegis runs away
#5447 +(66)- [X]
<aussie> whats wrong with racial profiling?
<Jake> Absolutely nothing, as long as it's unbiased.
<The_Roach> That's a contradiction in terms.
<JD> I've never been profiled so, I would say nothing
#5449 +(304)- [X]
<oogie> I wonder would oral sex would feel like from one of those african women with the big plate in their lower lip
<oogie> you could have a little tray to rest your nuts on on her lower lip
#5454 +(492)- [X]
«+ Ryutaro » has anyone ever dreamt that they were food that was being eaten?
«+ Ryutaro » I cant find anyone else thats had a dream
«+ Ryutaro » I was mashed potatoes once
«+ Ryutaro » I felt like little bits of me were being swallowed and stuff, it was weird
«+ Ryutaro » then a week later I was jello
«+ Ryutaro » but nobody ate me
«+ Ryutaro » I just stood around jiggling
«+ Ryutaro » this was when I did drugs, lol
#5460 +(737)- [X]
<Sinner> how do you stop a cat from trying to fuck your other cats
<gjvc> get in there first
#5462 +(349)- [X]
<Sinner_> i know someone who fucked a turkey once
<gjvc> i wake up early
<gjvc> check my email
<Murex> i dont see how i could actually fit my average cock into a chicken
<Sinner_> he was mad at his family
<gjvc> and see this shit
<Sinner_> and he fucked the thanksgiving turkey
#5463 +(302)- [X]
<Frizz0> anyone want a compaq proliant raid server 256M hardware raid p-pro200
<Frizz0> its about to get sold for drugs
<k5sss> payment in drugs, or payment in cash to buy drugs?
<Frizz0> either way is fine
#5464 +(38)- [X]
<abt32v> if you need a car to pull bitchez, plz recheck yer game
#5465 +(193)- [X]
moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head hunters to even fucking return a call
<moose> "do you have a ccna?"
<moose> BITCH HAVE YOU READ MY RESUME
<moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"
#5468 +(2465)- [X]
<casmill2> I swear to god i must be the only true optimist left on the planet.
#5473 +(259)- [X]
<ExCon> ihave one wish b4 i goto army rho :)
<ExCon> op for 1 day :D
<[SuN]> im not that soft :P
<ExCon> what if i die and never come back ?;D
<[SuN]> ill make a bot called ExCon and give it ops
<ExCon> oh..i feel honored
#5475 +(172)- [X]
<kaleido> how hard is it to plug a fuckin modem into a router
<kaleido> "well i dont know what to do, man"
<kaleido> fuckin christ
<kaleido> where do we find these field engineers
<kaleido> i was thinkin guinea
<kaleido> but compton might be right
#5479 +(250)- [X]
<Sinner_> you tell me who you want killed, and ill tell you the girl i want the blowjob from
#5482 +(394)- [X]
<foo> You got to think like a poet.
<cain> I think you're a cunt.
#5483 +(548)- [X]
<kkenn> Traffic lights
<kkenn> Remember folks. Traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also properly timed for 70 mph.
#5484 +(392)- [X]
<cain> YOU COULD NOT GET PLAY IF YOU WALKED INTO A WHOREHOUSE WITH YOUR DICK SANDWICHED BETWEEN A AMEX AND A PLATINUM VISA
#5487 +(491)- [X]
<gjvc> that is beyond ghetto
<gjvc> that is where trailers go to die
#5489 +(3257)- [X]
<Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out
#5490 +(370)- [X]
<theForger> it's kind of odd how a lot of planets in star trek have spaceships and transporters, and yet they still live in huts and clay houses
#5493 +(351)- [X]
<LuceNT> i don't download and install crap
<Mr2001> that's why you don't get the girls.
<LuceNT> because i don't fill my computer with garbage?
<Mr2001> you have to put up with crap.
#5495 +(300)- [X]
<roded> i have one last thing i can try
*** roded has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
#5500 +(697)- [X]
<Hahn> Zara, have you ever killed anyone with a crowbar during a soccer riot?
<Zaratustra> Didn't have the chance.
<Hahn> That sounds like an excuse to me.
#5501 +(291)- [X]
<maff> word to your mother.
<maff> especially on mothers day.
#5508 +(423)- [X]
<[ric]> fucking dicks
<[ric]> we have a huge flat screen LCD display in out presentation room
<[ric]> it's worth about £10,000
<[ric]> and now it has "It is safe to switch off your computer" burn into the screen
<nakkew> thank god it wasnt a pr0n site burnt into the screen
<nakkew> wouldnt look good for customers
#5509 +(475)- [X]
<ScumDog> this "waking up in the morning" stuff is interesting
#5510 +(390)- [X]
<zaril> my x-gf left me sex-deprived, not my fault. :P
<Toen> yeah right.
<Toen> "she let me see her bra once"
<Toen> "...one of the ones in her dresser anyway"
<Toen> "it was unhooked! eheh! heh!"
#5511 +(651)- [X]
*** Moses is now known as Cain
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible
* KeeperS is moved to tears
#5514 +(210)- [X]
[Lord-Data] damn. wish gdivx had brought me girls instead of fame and money
#5515 +(287)- [X]
<DAL9000> vanilla coke tastes like ass
<mov> i'd like to taste it..
#5519 +(450)- [X]
<scoob-e> i got in a fight with the lady at CVS cuz she wouldnt develop the picture of my cock
#5520 +(184)- [X]
<Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists appointment :(
<automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?
#5521 +(419)- [X]
<Lord-Data> god dammit. try as i might, i cannot type in the starwars theme music in words
#5522 +(120)- [X]
<lerk> yeah, fat girls are fun sometimes
<lerk> especially doggie style
<fate-> slap em and ride the waves
#5523 +(3322)- [X]
<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file
#5525 +(179)- [X]
<illz> i just got a text message on my phone
<illz> "Im playing w/ my clit hehe.."
#5527 +(264)- [X]
<slide-> hah, of course their site has popup ads
<eevar> get opera.. - never seen a popup i don't want
<slide-> iv never seen a popup i do want
#5528 +(48)- [X]
<Yakface> that all, I need to send you some BD
<Blackdog> nah im weird, dont go for porn
<Blackdog> hands on only, me
<Yakface> me niether, except for the really hard euro stuff
#5530 +(133)- [X]
<Spooky> HOLY FUCK
<Spooky> Send her my way when your done
<Anton> will do
<Spooky> I'll knock the mascara off that
<Spooky> Two little black circles on the wall next to the bed
#5531 +(138)- [X]
<Anton> my unhairy mates have better luck than me with women
<Spooky> I figure keep your spirits up and standards low
#5533 +(341)- [X]
<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)
#5536 +(898)- [X]
*** Joins: meganpreg (email@example.com)
<meganpreg> hi all
<geoffh> meganpreg on #chatzone #chat #netsex #mindspring #CheeseBurger #gameart #gamedev #FSEntertainment #india +#pakistan #xxx
<geoffh> hungry bored pregnant looking-for-sex-chat muslim woman (?) looking to develop interactive media in southern asia while troubleshooting problems with her ISP
#5537 +(50)- [X]
<memo> Brilliant astrophysicists from around the world rely exclusively on Semi for all their toilet-cleaning needs.
#5541 +(240)- [X]
* icenine --train &
<j0ker> luck with your new job
<icenine> not going to my job
<icenine> i'm going to go punch a recruiter in the face
<icenine> but close enough
#5542 +(1819)- [X]
[guest27125] hi i am very good at irc, i can script and even hack people on irc,but this real good hacker keeps hacking into me and changing my nick, his name is NickServ
#5543 +(3833)- [X]
<andy> moo spelled backwards is moo
<andy> no wait
#5548 +(278)- [X]
<CoMBo> man i got 12 hrs of sleep about to come in a couple minutes
<vermifuge> you sleep 12 hours everyday ?
<CoMBo> yeah give or take an hour
<vermifuge> i hope thats fucking canadian hours
<CoMBo> main reason why i didn't do good in my grade 13
<CoMBo> i think thats why i look so young, and skinny
<CoMBo> cuz i get so much rest
<|]resta> or it could be the HIV
#5577 +(318)- [X]
<MrMoves> Adam, you see driving a car, is a bit like making love to a beautiful woman, take it easy at first, get comfortable, then rag the arse off her until she dies, then trade her in for a new model
#5579 +(504)- [X]
<|argh|> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly.