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#5303 +(418)- [X]

<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They just came out with internet 7.0"

#5304 +(3017)- [X]

<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i should go to computer school like you!'

#5307 +(436)- [X]

<Jewedass> atarax: Find yourself a nice 26 year old woman and pretend she's two 13 year olds

#5309 +(262)- [X]

<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays

#5311 +(337)- [X]

<Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in retalitory missle attacks"

#5314 +(189)- [X]

<McMoo> i think i dislocated my esophagus
<orion-> fix it with everclear

#5315 +(520)- [X]

<Knighted> JLsoft: when i was flying into toronto, there was a good deal of cloud coverage and visibility was low. so i looked out the window and immediately though "this is like an N64 game"

#5317 +(828)- [X]

<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned

#5320 +(512)- [X]

<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders

#5324 +(271)- [X]

<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam
<highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to delete
<highdrow> ;

#5332 +(253)- [X]

<kidpiglet> is there such a thing as putting a "hit" on a dog
<kidpiglet> if so let me know whos avalible to do a "hit"
<Ph4nt0m> marinate a steak in antifreeze
<kidpiglet> yeah with my luck my hubby would go and cook it for himself
<Ph4nt0m> would that be all bad? :)

#5333 +(224)- [X]

<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus is burning *sitting down carefully*

#5337 +(405)- [X]

<Zeddicus> i like Dungeon Seige, but its not something that hooks me like a good FPS does, or a good RTS
<agentM> i like dating games
<Zeddicus> i dont
<Zeddicus> i always lose

#5338 +(1116)- [X]

<Carplos-Duck> You just killed 100 innocent civilians, how do you feel?
<Pedro> patriotic

#5345 +(71)- [X]

<Ramen> When my penis grows in size at the site of a naked male, then I'll believe I'm gay.

#5349 +(56)- [X]

<Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks
<Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks.
<Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches, the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks

#5351 +(97)- [X]

<brad-> I wish excite personals were still easy to look through to bag on people with.
<brad-> And find hot dates.
<LkTruth1> brad- wants to find a mother suitable for his daughter.
<LkTruth1> Or a large man.
<brad-> A little girl suitable to make another.

#5353 +(492)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
<AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
<AlmtyBob> and back in the days
<AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can run
<AlmtyBob> and they would
<AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad lost his legs in a construction accident'
<AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the best reactions from people
<AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
<AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a supervisor
<AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to go up to this chick and ask the same thing
<AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few years back
<AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
<AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there

#5357 +(88)- [X]

<+shagman> man, my ice water tastes like shit this morning
<+SuperGayHomo> well don't get it out of the toilet bowl
<@shagman> I wonder if it's my ice cubes
<@shagman> I'm gonna try the ones from the other tray
<@shagman> ahhhhh, much better
<@SuperGayHomo> those ones came from the tank

#5359 +(370)- [X]

<CountZer0> but where is the recycle bin in dos?

#5362 +(295)- [X]

<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if my policy covers gangland shootouts."

#5370 +(494)- [X]

<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better than old ones.

#5371 +(455)- [X]

<Focks> "Can I have a fag?" "You're a fag" "I mean a cigeratte, mate" "I'm not your mate, you fag!"

#5376 +(569)- [X]

<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*

#5378 +(50)- [X]

<offwYtE> noWay man, tha tis a wikked statement
<offwYtE> well i thought it was
<offwYtE> maybe not sure what it means now

#5379 +(496)- [X]

<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you

#5388 +(414)- [X]

<infin-01> sorry, you don't qualify for 31337 status, only 31336 status.

#5389 +(34)- [X]

<noj> i hate when my wang pokes out the bottom of my jeans

#5391 +(335)- [X]

tatsumio: itd be pretty neat to have a vagina somehwere on my body that I could have sex with
Oogy Boots: :O
tatsumio: and the vagina got the full orgasmic effects too
tatsumio: imagine.
Oogy Boots: and you thought I was a freak!
tatsumio: double orgasm
CyAteon: if it was on his arm or something would be really weird.
CyAteon: not only would you be having sex with your arm
CyAteon: but your arm would orgasm
Oogy Boots: LOL
CyAteon: unf unf unf unf ARGGGGGGHARARHGA <arm cramps up>

#5396 +(440)- [X]

<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college students fail so much

#5404 +(255)- [X]

<JFelix> So they're fags but you still want them to suck your cock? You fag.
<Zoglog> what can I say
<Zoglog> beggers cant be choosers
<JFelix> Okay, you have a point.
<Zoglog> BUT THATS NOT THE POINT

#5406 +(1170)- [X]

*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated.  by the file fairy.  I put a blank CD under my pillow..."'

#5407 +(423)- [X]

<Ron> I am from the land where we do not speak english, I am sorry for this minor setback

#5409 +(223)- [X]

<AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
<AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
<AK[coding]> But in a few months...
<AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will be showing up in your poor terminal.

#5410 +(381)- [X]

* Praetor takes a piss right in the middle of the channel
* andy slashes Prae's penis off.
<andy> That takes better vision than you might think.

#5411 +(7313)- [X]

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

#5412 +(499)- [X]

<FireMoth> Tat: what were your grades like in the first semester?
<tatsumizzz> Like, low.
<tatsumizzz> I suppose the fact that I told my English teacher I had an erection one time didn't help.
<Ear> Yeah. You forgot to raise your hand.

#5414 +(144)- [X]

<cool__G> I can define 1/0
<illusionz> liar
<BeZoAR> thats like trying to define illusionz sexuality

#5415 +(622)- [X]

<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch it twice tho

#5416 +(367)- [X]

<DrWoody> i do'nt belkivein drinkng

#5417 +(949)- [X]

<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm hoping it's a coffee table."

#5418 +(201)- [X]

<Guilty> Now I see that your Utopia is more of a Fruitopia

#5419 +(387)- [X]

<MisterQ> I found a way you can call people for free while on the internet
<shilantra> oh really
<Republica> It's called "Your Neighbor's Phone"

#5420 +(878)- [X]

<Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios shirt on.
<Psifire> And something occured to me.
<Vykuzich> pants?

#5421 +(280)- [X]

* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar

#5423 +(182)- [X]

(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh.. ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!

#5426 +(4284)- [X]

<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!

#5427 +(1821)- [X]

<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's

#5431 +(598)- [X]

<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count

#5432 +(277)- [X]

<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed fatguys in scrabble


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