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#4262 +(600)- [X]

<jestuh> we are professional idlers
<jestuh> we don't get paid to chat!

#4265 +(1774)- [X]

<Deffy> Christ is so cool. He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy.

#4274 +(223)- [X]

<DeX`> i could eat a 4lb london broil and have room left for a small chinese woman
<Damaceles> after you ate her you'd have to eat again in an hour

#4275 +(55)- [X]

<someone> anybody who would by Celine Dions music deserves to have their computer crash ;)~

#4276 +(265)- [X]

<R0SC0E> i think [shaolin soccer] was about to be released same weekend as Resident Evil
<R0SC0E> but they pushed it back to not be in competition
<mightyflo> zombie soccer!
<mightyflo> you could put the shaolin soccer guys up against a bunch of zombies
<mightyflo> they could do like bullet kicks and blow their heads off and stuff
<nitrifik_> no, zombies against zombies
<nitrifik_> slowest soccer game ever

#4278 +(8237)- [X]

<BombScare> i beat the internet
<BombScare> the end guy is hard

#4280 +(934)- [X]

<O_6> here is my autobiography in 50 lines:
<O_6> wtf
<O_6> goddamn keyboard
<O_6> f;aowheif;oawuhe;faouw\hfe;oauwhfe!
<matts> interesting autobiography

#4281 +(27833)- [X]

<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

#4284 +(309)- [X]

<toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade
<toxic> :)
<toxic> no actually not lesbians
<CrdStang> hahaha
<toxic> but that they could finger themselves
<spazzer> lol
<toxic> i was like oh shit! they use pencils too?!
<sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin em round
<sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "
<CrdStang> LOL
<sy|{0ti|{> yeah
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin school to do it
<sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit school to do it fulltime

#4285 +(369)- [X]

<mightyflo> TP-PS2 667 Remote Control: Infrared Transmitter for PS/PS2
<mightyflo> "Put your gamepad away and watch DVDs with a wireless remote, just like the pros use! Yeah, pro DVD watchers, that's right."
<SukiPotato4> Yeah, I have my bachelors in law, but my masters in DVD watching

#4287 +(987)- [X]

<memo> > Would you like to go fuck yourself? (Y/N)
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> ITS NOT WORKIGN

#4291 +(145)- [X]

<_Deathbr_> u can update ur sblive value or gamer to a live 5.1
<_Deathbr_> i saw that at friends house and i was like whoa.. u come across some kewl shit while lookn for eprom reading writing info's
<travolta> you can also find a lot of cool pages if you search for the word "the"

#4301 +(329)- [X]

(bc) i have the newest version of windows from microsoft... Fuck ME

#4303 +(378)- [X]

<D1> dude, I'm so puerto rican.
<Guilty> I dont get it
<BR4D> youre so elton john
<Guilty> That I get

#4304 +(285)- [X]

<K34R> im going to buy 6 monitors and a big metal rack and position them all around me
<K34R> so it will be like im captain of the starship ianprise
<K34R> on a mission to hack the gibson

#4305 +(995)- [X]

<DTOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr?
<DTOX> I'm in the wrong line of work...
<Xyrem> DTOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen
<Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle
<DTOX> and in your pocket
<DTOX> and in your mouth
<DTOX> and in people's drinks

#4306 +(1917)- [X]

(^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class
(xyst) qurve is freezing his ass?
(bc) qurve is freaking in my ass
(nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS
(xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS
(seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS
(^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends.

#4308 +(186)- [X]

<K][cK> just had some cold jack and cock :)

#4310 +(311)- [X]

<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly appreciate. ;-)

#4311 +(23)- [X]

<_8ight> i put a hit of LSD on a hamster's eyeball in high school
<_8ight> it died that nite :(

#4314 +(55)- [X]

<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks
<madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant even get my panties off in here'

#4319 +(324)- [X]

<orion> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again

#4321 +(481)- [X]

<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right

#4322 +(2489)- [X]

<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face.

#4324 +(435)- [X]

<|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I can't get it

#4325 +(502)- [X]

<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten. :|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for

#4326 +(245)- [X]

<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high!

#4328 +(762)- [X]

<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number?

#4329 +(623)- [X]

*** @pHaT|B33R is now known as @pHaT|ZzZz
<@JumperXL> later
<@JumperXL> nite drunkard
<@ismell> l8
<@JumperXL> thats irc dedication. smashed off his gord but still changes his nick to ZzZz before he passes out.

#4330 +(243)- [X]

<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death

#4333 +(379)- [X]

*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood

#4337 +(200)- [X]

<Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default
<Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully body kit :)

#4349 +(264)- [X]

<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
<Kashan> he's waiting for your call

#4351 +(1077)- [X]

<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE.

#4352 +(263)- [X]

<Khrosscpp> If by "whup" you mean "penetrate until colon rupture", I'm way ahead of you.

#4355 +(462)- [X]

<Semi> What are you talking about?
<Rico> Fuck if I know. Your mother, probably.

#4356 +(656)- [X]

<teu> I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal

#4360 +(299)- [X]

<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you?

#4361 +(285)- [X]

<JDigital> I have ops in #pyoko... I put it on my resume along with my Slashdot karma ;)

#4363 +(334)- [X]

<taz> 0x0020   5018 2238 83c7 0000 4745 5420 6874 7470        P."8....GET.http
<taz> 0x0030   3a2f 2f77 7777 2e69 6b65 612e 636f 2e75        ://www.ikea.co.u
<taz> 0x0040   6b2f 7072 6f64 7563 745f 7072 6573 656e        k/product_presen
<taz> 0x0050   7461                                           ta
<taz> muha
* taz snooping mothers network traffic

#4366 +(377)- [X]

<Bobby> "YOU ARE ONLY CONSIDERED A LOYAL TALIBAN MEMBER IF YOUR BEARD IS AT LEAST ONE THIRD THE LENGTH OF AN X-BOX CONTROLLER."

#4367 +(431)- [X]

<Lincoln`s_Wax> "The vacuum of space can suck like a mofo!" "Captain, get your penis out of the window!

#4368 +(410)- [X]

<wonderllamah> ill bet a banana would kick an apples ass in a fight beacause it could unpeel itself to have two mighty banana parts fighting
<wonderllamah> the peel to bind it and the soft core to smash it into submission.

#4372 +(989)- [X]

<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis

#4373 +(86)- [X]

<L33t_Hax0r> i rev at people at a red light in the galant if im pretty sure thier car is slow

#4376 +(743)- [X]

<Petr> I was at work and I drove by a group of Amish people in an electric cart full of computer equipment. I've never been given such an evil eye by so many people at once before.

#4378 +(291)- [X]

<MrSauce> LIZ HURLEY KNOCKED UP?
<MrSauce> NOOOOOOO
<MrSauce> fuck
<MrSauce> she was so hot
<EvilRobot> Hey, in 18 years and 9 months, you'll be able to hump her daughter.
<MrSauce> hrm
<MrSauce> I'd be 35
<MrSauce> very possible
<EvilRobot> See, always look for the silver lining!
<MrSauce> oh well. I guess it's time for a farewell fap

#4380 +(594)- [X]

<Spork> A man looked at me like I was a pervert today. I was checking him out at the store and he had his kids at me I noticed one of his young daughters had her zipper down and you could see the print on her panties, so I pointed it out to him. He looked at me weird for a second then zipped her up.
<Spork> Maybe it's because he thought I also noticed that he was half-erect in his pants.
<Spork> Which he was.

#4381 +(414)- [X]

<@Raz> I LIVE ON THE EQUATOR..."JUAN, THE WATER IS STUCK AGAIN"

#4382 +(843)- [X]

<Euri> When I was 20 (still worked as a waiter), I went out to eat with a friend at a nice-ish restaurant. There was a guy with his girlfriend/mistress/cheap hooker in front of me yelling at the hostess because they took 10 minutes to bring his food to him. So, I went up and asked him how he was doing, and why he didn't call.. and asked if his rash was clearing up.


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