#4032 +(351)- [X]
<blazemore> one of my friends that i haven't talked to in forever said "Hey what's up" through icq last night
<blazemore> i didn't say anything though cause last time she said whats up she just needed a cd burned :|
<mightyflo> cdrs before hos
#4033 +(479)- [X]
<prence> you masturbate too much if your mom has to snap your tube sock over her knee to get it in the washer
#4036 +(970)- [X]
<mightyflo> that's a horrible mental image
#4037 +(38)- [X]
<ftstjohn_> 6" long and 4 1/2" thick bald penis
<ftstjohn_> looking for a girl to watch me masterbate in real life
#4039 +(636)- [X]
<kapusta> Slut: a woman that fucks everyone. Bitch: a woman that fucks everyone but you...
#4040 +(41)- [X]
<TYRESE> Does anybody know how it feels to have a faggot bug u on the internet????
#4043 +(71)- [X]
<TALLC00L1> Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make a fist
#4044 +(275)- [X]
<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at least once per day. Hmmm... I'm about due.... I'll be back in 10..
#4050 +(117)- [X]
<dean`> LunaRain: i can rape myself any time without going to prison
#4054 +(307)- [X]
<conio> 99% of all americans SUCK
<poon> conio: i guess that leaves Monica Lewinsky in the remaining 1% that blows?
#4056 +(289)- [X]
([ric]): see if you were scared in legoland, would you shit lego bricks?
#4061 +(202)- [X]
(@Jumper): I've been to LegoLand
(@Jumper): I've actually been drunk in LegoLand !
(@Jumper): We had a huge company party in the Lego Castle
(+offwYtE): drink out of lego cups
([ric]): lagerland... sure that wasn't where you were Jumper?
#4062 +(530)- [X]
<DigDug> <nowakow> does anyone want to teach a horny female to masturbate to orgasm?
<DigDug> Approve Kill Nothing
<jestuh> if she's horny she knows what to do
#4064 +(696)- [X]
<FreshBrew> i dont know why i floss before i go to the dentist
<FreshBrew> i never ever do it
<FreshBrew> its like going to the doctor and pretending not to be sick so he doesnt yell at you
#4065 +(216)- [X]
<Mazroth> ya vodka is potato water, thats why everyone in russia drinks it
<Mazroth> too many potatoes there
<Mazroth> They have it at mcdonalds, heh
<Mazroth> in fountains.
<Mazroth> big mac, large fry, and supersized vodka
#4068 +(252)- [X]
<K34R> im not one of these grey haired freaks who flies bitches from out of state then keeps them in a shed
<K34R> but i will be one day <3
#4070 +(99)- [X]
<[ric]> uneasier, 2 line taskbar is XP default
<[ric]> and if you have like 20+ windows open at once and the quicklaunch active in nt/9x/2k/me then it is necessary
<uneasier> i never knew.. god has reached down from the heavens and stuck his omniscient thumb u my ass
<[ric]> hmm... do you feel discomfort in any way?
<uneasier> no i feel big
<uneasier> and shiny
<[ric]> like stretched and stuff?
<uneasier> no, sort of waterlogged
#4075 +(703)- [X]
<Lynkx> you have an ass on your chin
#4076 +(400)- [X]
*** BlackDeth (email@example.com) has joined #snogs
<tyne> who are u?
<matts> BlackDeth on #snogs @#songs
<BlackDeth> hypr told me to do it
<BlackDeth> i dont know how well you guys know him
<BlackDeth> but you probably realize he isn't the greatest typer/speller!
<hypr> shut up flamer
<BlackDeth> so i joined #songs first when he said #snogs
#4077 +(200)- [X]
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
#4078 +(955)- [X]
<Mukluk> My lungs hold 650 cubic cenimeters of air. :P
<Mukluk> I know this because it was measured by a doctor. :P
<fRy-> WHAT THE FUCK? :P
<Mukluk> I was told that that's an extremely high capacity. :P
<Mukluk> I could fucking beat all of you to death. :P
<DeadRinga> with your lungs?
<z0rg> Mukluk hahahah
<Mukluk> Laugh all you like, little-lung. :P
#4080 +(448)- [X]
<ar5WRK> Is it fucked up, to like, when she was sleeping, jerk off on her so when she would wake up she would have a mound of jizz on her body some where?
<ar5WRK> Not like i ever did that.
<ar5WRK> Just wanting to know...
#4082 +(392)- [X]
<[ric]> Jim, tsk, tsk... you're getting as bad as me :)
<JibberJim> Eh, I've never been unnatural with a goat.
<[ric]> jim... ok, almost as bad as me
#4083 +(251)- [X]
<[ric]> puddy.. but I need to live on the internet... without p0rn I would forget what a naked woman looks like!
<[ric]> I know there are those magazine things, but hey I keep clicking [next] and the pages don't turn!
<winmutt> ric thats scares me
* winmutt looks ric up on the sexual offender listings
<[ric]> what scares me more is that it will end up in geekQuotes... (again.. sigh!)
<[ric]> what I would like to know is how come all my inspirational leaps of genius, stunning breakthroughs in code or precise observational musings don't end up in geekQuotes, just the ones that make me look like some drunken, banter merchant, goth obsessed nutter seem to make it!
* [ric] looks squarely in Jumper's direction, and taps his foot...
#4084 +(349)- [X]
<nightfal:#java> damn, this quotedb gets funnier as a function of sleep loss
#4087 +(307)- [X]
<boxed> I still have the marks of her nails on my back I think :P
<jwzrd-> boxed: ahahahahah
<jwzrd-> boxed: I get marks on my chest :)
<boxed> well, that happens too
<nightfal> I bruised my right nipple while I was sleeping 3 nights ago
#4097 +(222)- [X]
<[ric]> pfft... oh, well when I am dead my gravestone will simply read.. http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?search=%5Bric%5D
#4098 +(298)- [X]
<akh76> Hello, I'm "an ki hong" from Korea.
<akh76> I want to know The reason Why I'm ven
<akh76> I'm lacks a Knowledge of irc
<akh76> Thank you and I hope to get your reply back soon.
#4099 +(380)- [X]
(ALF) KMFDM: you havent blown your load in so long, the next bitch will prolly have to chew before she swallows
#4102 +(298)- [X]
<mightyflo> its something sexual
<FlipTopBox> Concatenate can be sexual, baby.
<mightyflo> its something sexual to someone who hasn't taken a programming class
#4105 +(555)- [X]
* dodgearse learns to need how to say somthing before thinking of it
[dodgearse] wow... that dont sound right
* dodgearse needs to learn to think about what hes going to say before saying it...
#4108 +(284)- [X]
<reaper> I'm not racist I have colour TV :/
#4109 +(45)- [X]
*** williard (~buttertop@sdn-ar-003njnbruP070.dialsprint.net) has joined #oscars
<williard> this channel should win a award for being so lame
#4110 +(501)- [X]
<Ouroboros> Tang is as good as sex.
<ruiner> my sex isn't powdery and orange
#4111 +(57)- [X]
<JackTaiwn> damn u english speakers >_<
#4113 +(340)- [X]
[madwoota ] stupid fucking bullshit auto aiming lock on bullshit mouse aim at guy not where hes runnign crap fuckoff cunt lick my balls 99% miss rate guys 2 metres away with a perfect head shot and misses fuckoff game
#4118 +(239)- [X]
<orange1> i think i got it figured out.
<orange1> instead of giving users a long explanation on why it won't work when they uplaod a file named "what? me worry?.doc" to their web space, we can just give them the message "this file will not work. if you read the documentation, you would know why"
#4119 +(110)- [X]
* TpS has returned, cleaning shit stains off my panties. [gone:3h28m12s]
<BDawkins> party on
<Yourname> my my! you've been cleaning panties for 3 hours!!!
<TpS> the stains were really bad
#4123 +(438)- [X]
<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home
#4125 +(187)- [X]
<Scofco> my anus is itchy, and i can't scratch it, because then my hand would smell like ass
#4129 +(240)- [X]
<SilverJag> babyd did you get any play yet?
<eldee> babyd gets as much play as my atari
#4130 +(107)- [X]
<djazonic> tiko: do you know how to setup a win2k's telnet server?
<JediPimp> djazonic: format c: ; <insert linux CD>
#4131 +(686)- [X]
<prence> i was supposed to be cleaning the bathroom, and i was in there and was like fuck it, ill shave my balls, so i was shaving away, i had my penis stretched out so i could get the hard to reach hairs
<prence> and my mom came in, and saw me, and was like oh im sorry and left!@##@!#@!#@!#@! she thought i was just cleaning the bathroom, but I was shaving and now i cant look her in the face, fizuck
#4133 +(477)- [X]
<TURBOMEAT> arguing over musical taste is pointless, really
<ScumDog> pretty much
<TURBOMEAT> it's subjective
<mightyflo> not when you have ops. :)
#4134 +(377)- [X]
<Scofco> just because i like hairless chicks with small tits, and that are younger than me, does not make me a pedophile
<Scofco> it makes me borderline pedophile
#4140 +(270)- [X]
<uneasier> [ric], a student has to make money.. the pay was good and it wasnt nearly as degrading as you would think
<[ric]> uneasier: I realise, but think how the chickens felt?
<uneasier> they were heavily drugged
<[ric]> I am sure there is some bad joke in this about chickens eating seed, but let's just leave it at that
#4143 +(586)- [X]
<uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
<Jan__> mmm braized testicle
<Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
* uneasier runs away
#4150 +(457)- [X]
<Raiden> my cats used to lick my penis if I slept naked...
<Raiden> I had 5 cats...that was uber
#4151 +(145)- [X]
<BucWork> dude; 2pac isn't dead
<BucWork> he is in Europe
<BucWork> my dad works for the fbi
#4152 +(175)- [X]
<boozie> AnIonU: if i washed my dick would you suck it?
<AnIonU> bbozie: if you washed your dick you would realize that it was only dirt...no dick