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#961513 +(47)- [X]

<xxx> There's apparently some Mexican restaurant somewhere in Europe that has the slogan, "Mexican food so authentic Donald Trump built 4 walls around it."

#961538 +(21)- [X]

<Lauren> I have this recurring javascript error
<Lauren> Uncaught TypeError: Illegal invocation
<gasp> did you try running it during full moon ?

#961647 +(30)- [X]

<Shoe> Saw the back of a semi-cab today.
<Shoe> It had the text: Jesus Never Tapped Out
<The_Purple_Bunny> No but he did get pinned.

#961650 +(13)- [X]

<DrSeuss> I am thinking about the sequel to the vat in the hat
<DrSeuss> It will have theoretical chemistry
<fourbitfox> Oh the Crystals You'll Grow?
<DrSeuss> YES
<fourbitfox> Sounds more like the G rated version of Breaking Bad.

#961655 +(53)- [X]

<matthiaskrgr> had to have my arm amputated
<matthiaskrgr> on the other hand, I am completely fine

#961662 +(83)- [X]

<W> Tatjun needs a date
<L> The dude couldn't get a date if he polled a time server.

#961713 +(26)- [X]

<+se5a> I know a pacifist who joined the army
<+se5a> so that he had a balanced world view
<+ekolis> True Neutral alignment FTW

#961714 +(-11)- [X]

<mceel>What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout?
<Big G>Idk what?
<mceel>Boyscouts come back from camp.
<Big G>Thats a very touchy subject. My great grandpa died in a concentration camp.
<mceel>Oh I'm sorry
<Big G>He was shooting jews and fell of the guard tower.
<mceel>.-.

#961718 +(43)- [X]

ivy: A man named William Reed's last living testament says that he is going to read his own will
ivy: Will Reed's will will read: "Will Reed will read Will Reed's will".
Elyse: no
Elyse: it's his son will reed junior
Elyse: except will reed senior was so far gone with alzheimers that usually when someone's talking about will reed they're talking about his son, junior
Elyse: he isn't completely running the family business into the ground but he still longs for the times his father, the true biz-wiz, was running things better than ever
Elyse: but now those times are in the ground with his dad
Elyse: still can't believe he's gone
ivy: what the fuck elyse

#961720 +(44)- [X]

<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness
<t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted
<t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse
<t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down
<t12> i'll go to it myself
<t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!"
<t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands of people already"
<t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the weird position of protecting crackheads from me"
<t12> they did in fact shut the house down

#961741 +(18)- [X]

<jryan> Why is TheJazBand in the topic.
<TheJazBand> jryan: i had a seizure yesterday.
<jryan> Ohhh.
<jryan> How'd that go

#961762 +(29)- [X]

<AAA> Singapore is believed to have the highest prevalence of myopia in the world; up to 80% of people there have myopia
<AAA> yikes
<BBB> i bet they never seen it coming

#961780 +(36)- [X]

<Haz> started my internship today
<Haz> they banged a gong no less than six times first thing in the morning after a meeting
<fwilson> yeah, that's part of agile

#961783 +(41)- [X]

<Joe> my friend told me to google kurea hasumi
<Joe> and I did
<Joe> that was a mistake
<Denwa> Don't like jav's, Joe?
<Joe> no, by mistake I mean I have 27 active torrents running now

#961801 +(26)- [X]

<retry> i miss bathing in hot springs
<retry> in japan that's something you can just do whenever you feel like it
<fuckyou> except they call it bukkake

#962108 +(47)- [X]

<Humbedooh> Roses are red, leaves are green, but only Java has AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBean

#962113 +(36)- [X]

<@realitygaps> english - the php of spoken languages

#962153 +(37)- [X]

<Zygo> if you're not finding errors, you're not looking hard enough
<lazy_bum> Is this some kind of woman motto?

#962213 +(119)- [X]

<Chaosbreaker> "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
<Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
<Chaosbreaker> "I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
<Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

#962270 +(-10)- [X]

<@peted> i get distracted by that a lot
<@peted> sometimes, actually, a lot of the time, i just get distracted by my own thoughts
< brzt> I think thats call ADHD?
<@peted> do they?
< brzt> I just said I think they do...
<@peted> and i asked do they...
<@peted> this instant replay brought to you by pepsi cola
< brzt> See above.

#962292 +(101)- [X]

<cpb> wonder if there's a strip club that needs a linux admin...
<clockwork> i was about to balk at that but then i thought about it and realized strip clubs don't have windows

#962365 +(81)- [X]

<+Skerper> I remember once in first year CS
<+Skerper> this guy asked me to tutor him
<+Skerper> was absolutely devastated that he'd gotten a 0 for his programming assignment
<+Skerper> so he shows it to me
<+Skerper> and he's literally written an essay on how to make the program
<nugyflex> what the fuck
<+Skerper> complete with stock images and references
<BlackMoon> hahah
<+Jattenalle> haha, aaw
<+Skerper> but no actual program
<nugyflex> ahahha
<+Jattenalle> poor innocent little child
<+Skerper> Never had such an "oh sweety" moment in my life
<nugyflex> how does that happen
<+Skerper> I have no fucking idea, it was the most awkward thing
<nugyflex> how can that possibly happen...
<+Skerper> I don't know how he got it into his head that that was the assignment
<+Skerper> considering it had to be handed up to an automarker
<+Skerper> that compiles it and tests output
<nugyflex> Oooo nooo
<nugyflex> tries to compile essay
<nugyflex> rip

#962517 +(89)- [X]

<diegov[m]> What's the name of that js programming mmo?
<zer0def> uh, github?

#962644 +(18)- [X]

<blaxthos> milo == ann coulter minus the penis

#962656 +(78)- [X]

< Dustin> I was talking to a French friend earlier. He was annoyed that English didn't have a word for a specific kind of pride like French does. I pointed out that the French having more words for pride is like the Inuits having more words for snow.
< Dustin> He didn't laugh. =[

#962696 +(8)- [X]

<sophia_> wow look at this new type of cat named a toyger
<MaxInux> pretty cat
<MaxInux> looks like a bengal sorta
<sophia_> its totally different than a bengal apparently
<sophia_> custom bred
<MaxInux> neat still looks like a bengal :) just slightly more striped
<sophia_> ya its pretty
<jm> am I the only person who's appalled at humanity's efforts to selectively breed traits they find cute, funny, or otherwise desirable?
<blaxthos> jm:  do you date ugly girls ?
<sophia_> heh

#962704 +(9)- [X]

<@neonjesus> up your game, chatters. this is professional level chatting.
<@atomic> oh yeah
<@atomic> professional for sure
<@atomic> I'm being paid to chat right now
<@atomic> in fact, I probably get paid to chat more than I get paid to work
<@neonjesus> its why we all went into IT in the first place
<@neonjesus> we got on irc when we were children
<@neonjesus> and thought
<@neonjesus> hey
<@neonjesus> i would like to chat for a living. how do i get to do that?
<@atomic> lol
<@neonjesus> first, you have to look like you're busy in terminal
<@Jugernaut> hah
<@neonjesus> second, you have to be the unwatched watcher.
<@neonjesus> third, ???
<@neonjesus> profit.
<@neonjesus> so here we are.
<@neonjesus> a bunch of professional motherfuckin' chatters.

#962705 +(19)- [X]

*** Gad is now known as REGISTER.
*** REGISTER is now known as IDENTIFY.
*** IDENTIFY is now known as Gad.
<petn-randall> Gad: /msg nickserv help
<Dark-Jedi> Just wait, his nick will change to "HELP" any moment now.
*** Gad is now known as HELP.

#962706 +(-3)- [X]

Creamate: if i were black
toppington_kek: you could fuck your wife
Creamate: i would be a cardiac surgeon already
toppington_kek: oh

#962709 +(-9)- [X]

<_ohm> Akahige, obviously you haven't heard of OOP and you need to check your priviledge
<Pyrious> Valid c++ if it's following a "//"
<Akahige> _ohm: Did you just assume my paradigm!?
<mwd> OOM > OOP
<_ohm> Akahige, nice

#962711 +(5)- [X]

<crowell> aa has some shitty seats
<crowell> i can't even use laptop
<jpaglier> you can get their miles so easy tho
<crowell> how am i supposed to play ctf in this seat
<kiboneu> crowell: next time offer to speak, you get a table
<crowell> kiboneu: on the airplane?

#962712 +(6)- [X]

< EvanStone> Have u guys seen that babe on the special Olympics commercial
< EvanStone> Hnnnnng
< fred> wtf
< fred> EvanStone has a disabled person fetish
< vitro> omg
< EvanStone> What
< vitro> i almost choked to death while reading that
< EvanStone> Only her brain is fucked
< vitro> EvanStone is fucked
< EvanStone> Not her face
< EvanStone> Yo vitro is mad judgemental
< EvanStone> Like a retard can't be sexy
< EvanStone> Plz stop discriminating


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