#742824 +(413)- [X]
<SixFeet-> rejected by a computer script, new low in my life
<NTT> well, at least u didnt have cybersex with one of those bots that pm's you here on mirc
<SixFeet-> well i tried, but it replied with "lets just be friends..."
#742872 +(432)- [X]
<[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol
<[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard.
#742931 +(625)- [X]
<Sqrfrk> I went and watched 300
<Sqrfrk> That movie was badass
<ErrorNotFound404> im gonna go on thurs
<ErrorNotFound404> dont tell me anything
<Sqrfrk> They all die.
#743138 +(297)- [X]
<Varitek> a piece of spam in my inbox had the subject "new fap"
<Varitek> I decided to forget my principles and actually read it
<Varitek> it was selling fake watches
<Varitek> I was crushed
#743227 +(476)- [X]
<BurnStuff>: They asked me if I was bring drugs into Jamaica
<Kmank>: Bringing drugs to Jamaica?
<Kmank.: Thats like briging slim-fast to Ethiopia!
#743233 +(402)- [X]
<Mud_Shark> Dagger thinks an orgy is using more than one magazine
#743281 +(131)- [X]
< RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an answer on my second and last question
< nazgjunk> RedTee, you ask a question about DOS'ing with ping, without knowing what ping is
< RedTee> its not what im asking FFS
< RedTee> DO I need dos to preform a dos attack!?!?!?!?!
< einz> YES, don't you see name?
-!- RedTee [insurgent@HTSUser-4149B6F9.adsl.wanadoo.nl] has quit [Quit: alright THANKS FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
#743285 +(478)- [X]
<caleb> "you're only running from yourself"
<caleb> i yelled that after a pair of joggers once in the early 90s.
<caleb> i thought it was hilarious.
<caleb> i think there might have been some mescaline involved.
#743288 +(463)- [X]
<Gumby-> so another guy found you sexy. so what?
<Alchav> I guess you had to be there :/
<Gumby-> I do community theater, where 80% of the guys are gay. One time the director came up to me, wanted to make me feel uncomfortable, and said something like "hey big guy, so....boxers or briefs?" ...
<Gumby-> so to mess with him, I look at him and say "Neither. womens"
<Gumby-> he says "Ooh, that's getting me all excited now." I then return with "Look, it's no secret. I may be strong enough for a man, but I'm made for a woman". He laughed and walked away
<Gumby-> Lesson learned: The key to getting someone to stop creeping you out, is to out-do them. :)
#743307 +(305)- [X]
<mentor> How do you escape handcuffs?
<fudge> Are you in handcuffs?
<fudge> Depend very much on the design.
<fudge> Well-designed handcuffs are, unsurprisingly, quite hard to escape.
<fudge> Houdini's stuff was mostly based on having hidden bits of metal that could be used to pick the lock.
* fudge hits mentor
#743353 +(481)- [X]
Matt: I reaaaaaaaaaaallly hope the coding for this grade genie in our online gradebook is fucked
Matt: "You final exam score must be 1.20303288341787e^308 for Final Average to be 90"
#743428 +(2326)- [X]
culturejammer: you know what pennies are AWESOME for?
culturejammer: throwing at cats
culturejammer: it only costs a single penny
culturejammer: and they'll either chase it, or get hit by it and look pissed off
culturejammer: i now use that system to value prices of things
culturejammer: for example, a thirty dollar game has to be at least as awesome as three thousand catpennies
#743431 +(242)- [X]
<kikuichimonji> Okay, you know how in Revelation in the Bible it talks about how in the end times everyone will be marked with a number?
<kikuichimonji> And how you will need that number to buy or sell anything?
<kikuichimonji> I think that the Bible is refering to DRM.
<kikuichimonji> Bill Gates is the antichrist, and Vista registration keys are the mark of the beast.
#743459 +(1930)- [X]
<Ki> HAHAHAHA I DID IT HAHAHA FUCKERS
<Ki> I ASSEMBLED THE BED
<Mellis> congratulations you're a level 2 Ikeamancer
#743532 +(1866)- [X]
<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear
<raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.
#743595 +(2998)- [X]
<crabcakedeathra> where were you earlier?
<crabcakedeathra> where you work?
<arkilla> GTE Visa. mail room clerk.
<arkilla> had some trouble with this asshole sendin in coupons
<arkilla> today he also sent in 33 motherfuggin' pennies
<arkilla> my managr called to complain, after like an hour WE cut HIM a check for 33 cents
<crabcakedeathra> that sounds damn familiar
#743806 +(597)- [X]
Kris: Happy Pi Day!
Dean: I don't celebrate pi day, but rather pi approximation day on july 22nd or 7/22
#743913 +(-49)- [X]
caithness: Nike Brand Condoms
caithness: "Just Do It"
#743927 +(1220)- [X]
rintin: so I fried my dads motherboard today
rintin: apparently I wasn't grounded...
rintin: now I am
#744007 +(685)- [X]
<Chains> fuck that AM/PM shit, i'm european, i can have 13:37 every day!
#744009 +(451)- [X]
<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work.
* ML-37 grins
<Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go".
#744013 +(1096)- [X]
<kidd79> do u know what i'd like they add to Google.Earth?
<Don_Vito> ..3D graphics?
<Don_Vito> animated water, trees and stuuf??
<kidd79> orbital ion cannon
#744067 +(552)- [X]
<slashdotuser> I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas.
<slashdotuser> Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%£%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER]
#744203 +(176)- [X]
<@blaxthos> one token to unite them
<@kastein> murdrface: and in a ring bind them
#744206 +(-146)- [X]
<+Tigrael> you're a bash mod now?
<%spock1104> kastein: tell them to stop rejecting quotes that rock and accepting quotes that suck
<%kastein> spock1104: hey
<%kastein> them includes me now
* %kastein goes back to being a nazi mod
<%kastein> MUST THROW MORE QUOTES IN THE OVEN
#744290 +(1019)- [X]
<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'.
<Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with country music etc,etc.
<Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in front of my car the other day,
<Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons 'THRILLER' came on :S
#744447 +(936)- [X]
<Drakkel> is it sad that I'm looking through national sex offender databases of areas where I live?
<Lai> I would have tried the personals first, really.
#744548 +(47)- [X]
<Kkooly> rumick whyd you download the same episode 3 times
<jkpolk> He probably has a triple monitor setup
#745147 +(2248)- [X]
<Dack Falu> WTF, there are Bomberman fanfics
<Dack Falu> Did that shit have a storyline?
<Stultus> Someone's probably written a fanfic for Tetris
<Saturn V> THE L BLOCK TAKES ME BY THE HAND AND PLUGNES ITSELF NEATLY INTO ME, FORMING A LINE
<Saturn V> I MOAN BUT THEN PART OF ME VANISHES
<Saturn V> FOREVER.
#745175 +(350)- [X]
<ralph> perl is the lossy compression for programming languages
#745228 +(1300)- [X]
<Foamy> im a little teapot
<Foamy> short and stout
<Foamy> here is my handle
* Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out)
#745239 +(446)- [X]
bendingoutward: last night was so hardcore that i moshed with a guy in a wheelchair.
#745385 +(906)- [X]
<@Sadist> data for age of consent all around the world.
<Dano> Is that in your bookmarks?
<@Sadist> its my home page
#745401 +(530)- [X]
Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3?
Lord Kagemaro: :/
Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine
#745536 +(-75)- [X]
<scott> Where were your born?
<scott> Thats not even possible.
#745565 +(1594)- [X]
<zak> I once almost kissed a girl but then she woke up.. then i woke up
#745889 +(504)- [X]
<nista> i was explaining to a claimant why a defendant was being sued
<nista> i told him that the defendant violated a federal statute
<nista> he said "VIOLATED A FEDERAL STATUE?!? WHICH ONE, THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL?!?"
#745894 +(379)- [X]
* Nanobot primarily uses a pi-based counting system
<Nanobot> I know all of the digits in pi
<Nanobot> It's 10
#746293 +(767)- [X]
<jo> apparently, according to Josh, the Swiss-French border is at risk of being sucked in by a black hole
<jo> they're experimenting with time/space stuff there
<Lewin> try staying out of that one, switzerland
#746302 +(-243)- [X]
Jmack- i was dreaming of eating a marshmallow
B-dawg- and what happened?
Jmack- when i woke up
b-dawg- then what
Jmack- my pillow was gone......
#746569 +(1168)- [X]
<&Dynamic_Inc> ive decided to play a huge prctical joke on my friends
<&Dynamic_Inc> ima slip 2 of them the date rape drug when they are REALLY drunk
<&Dynamic_Inc> then with the help of my other friends, strip them naked, and put them in bed together, spooning
<&Dynamic_Inc> beat one of them on the ass, so when they wake up its sore
<&Dynamic_Inc> and smear some blood and poop on the sheets
<&Dynamic_Inc> there gunna wake up and be like "O.O fuck."
<&Dynamic_Inc> one of them will turn gay because of it
<&Dynamic_Inc> and they will both act wiered for years
<&Dynamic_Inc> then like 5 years down the road
<&Dynamic_Inc> ill tell them the truth
<&Dynamic_Inc> and then run like fuck
<&Dynamic_Inc> its gunna be great
<%Airegorne> can i help?
#746655 +(1179)- [X]
<StrangelyUnoriginal>So I was at Walmart, being the financial transaction overlord of register 21.
Rite, and this kid walks up, I ring up his items and he says, "So I heard you like mudkips?" so I acted all confused like he expected me to andhe had a little faggoty giggle then he asked me what his total was and I said, "Your total, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSSSSSSAAAAND!" and my manager was like, "lol wtf?" then I grabbed the pricing scanner and crushed it in my hand.
#746738 +(549)- [X]
Hooka: I'm going to pee on you
Ralphy_Fox: that'd be hot
lemonlimeskull: Only for a while, then it'd cool off.
#746742 +(1426)- [X]
<irzyxel> RANDY !
<irzyxel> long time no see !
<irzyxel> hows the kids
<Randy`> still in my testicles, thankfully
#746746 +(276)- [X]
<sigafoo> your girlfriend is so slutty she gets pass 'by reference'
#746793 +(882)- [X]
<Etir> I want to see Clinton versus Rice in 2008 just to see if a 3rd party candidate can win on the "I'm Male" platform
#746975 +(434)- [X]
<ricebowl> lingerie is one of the few items where you expect to pay more for less
#747013 +(637)- [X]
<pecosdave> Yeah, Snakes on a Plane not a movie you can enjoy alone.
<pecosdave> You can admit to watching the movie with a group, but watching it alone shows signs of having issues.
<pecosdave> It's like Rocky Horror. Watching it alone of the privacy of your own home makes you weird.
<pecosdave> Cross dressing and watching it with a crowd on the other hand is perfect acceptable.
#747032 +(1335)- [X]
<Mikachu> haha, i misread a japanese word i wanted to look up
<Mikachu> it was kansha, meaning "thanks, gratitude"
<Mikachu> but i wrote in gansha in the dictionary program
<Mikachu> "ejaculation onto partner's face"
<Mikachu> that is a mispronunciation i will be careful to avoid
#747042 +(1625)- [X]
<Stevie_Kilroy> a little s&m never hurt anyone
<Bungalow Bill> dude
<Bungalow Bill> Yes it did.