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#708460 +(958)- [X]

<Admiral_Bayls-UltraLite> The Olsen twins are like dual core CPUs. They can share my load anytime.

#708481 +(102)- [X]

element: i feel lucky because i won every advertisement game today...i have so many free ringtones its not even funny

#708570 +(545)- [X]

GameFreak7744: I could be Einstein.
GameFreak7744: E=MC... shit where is the squared key...

#708656 +(953)- [X]

<VFR8> My band teacher let me try to learn tuba yesterday in the music room when there was nobody else there
<VFR8> I tried blowing too hard and I passed out X|
<VFR8> He came in at the end of the period and found me unconscious on the floor with the tuba lying next to me
<VFR8> I wish I could have seen the look on his face...

#708719 +(657)- [X]

James: I have a problem.  My iTunes can't find any of the files...
Paul: Double click on the songs and click find
Paul: then find where they are
James: one problem
James: i don't know where they are
Paul: well, it looks like you and iTunes have something in common

#708787 +(1097)- [X]

<sm-> how would i check a mysql database to see if a table exists?
<Alpha232> put down a table cloth, if it doesn't turn into a rug, then it exists

#709087 +(3827)- [X]

<@ZoFreX> goddammit
<@ZoFreX> I forgot the definition of irony
<@ZoFreX> so I went to look it up on Wikipedia
<@ZoFreX> but Wikipedia is down

#709158 +(204)- [X]

<Mrod> i earned 1 point of gay for reading a guy's blog btw
<BL> omg you have the high score!
<BL> please enter your initials

#709214 +(1220)- [X]

<@Hydro> so I'm trying to install this software, right?
<@Hydro> And my PC won't install it...
<@Hydro> I'm telling you, it's either my pc broke, or me being stupid.
<@Hydro> Has to be one of the three.

#709241 +(556)- [X]

Nash: waited on hold to tech support for 27 minutes... it literaly reconnected as someone finaly picked up
Keith: gotta love that
*** Nash has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
* Graham can hear the swearing from here!

#709297 +(979)- [X]

<sulfor> my "" key is broken
<fahrenheit> Ok.. that leaves acdfghjlpqrtuvwxz

#709343 +(2013)- [X]

tarheelborn15: Eminem is the greatest rapper alive.
Luda848: Holy Shit....How many rappers have died today????

#709974 +(1475)- [X]

kooooorlin: dude I fucking backed up into this car today!
lhendz: what the hell. how'd you do that?
kooooorlin: There was this fucking seagull in the parking lot at best buy like eating someones tire and I was watching it while backing up.
lhendz: what'd you do?
kooooorlin: waited for the person to come back, and when they did, they looked at their car, then at mine, and said "SOMEONE HIT OUR CARS!"

#710161 +(455)- [X]

<Ritz> I had the myspace so I could keep in contact with certain friends
<Ritz> I decided I needed new friends

#710252 +(869)- [X]

(BR4M) you take the good with the bad
(BR4M) its like with the anorexic chicks
(JuJu`) well, bad outweighs the good, so its not worth it.
(Ravenclaw) anything outweighs an anorexic chick

#710307 +(-57)- [X]

SyntaxError: Nanci Palosi is offically the Speaker of the House now
GlowStickNinja: Who?
SyntaxError: Annoying bitch that marched with NAMBLA in the Gay Rights Parade and looks like something the dog vomited up and ate, then shit out again.
GlowStickNinja: The chick that Stephen Colbert did a hand turkey of?
SyntaxError: Trust Colbert to bridge the gap between Politics and Idiots

#710728 +(1458)- [X]

Wraith2041: Man, even soulless corporations are telling the RIAA to shut their goddamn mouths. I'm betting soon Satan himself will burst through the RIAA president's floor and say, "Cease, minion. My Avril Lavigne songs are not to be trifled with."

#712336 +(-20)- [X]

<ken> man, I got an F on my stupid test.
<Christopher> Think of it as -A, not F.

#712703 +(1069)- [X]

<frumpy> I see nintendo's new system is making people smile.
<frumpy> it's only a matter of time before a GTA ports comes out with the title 'Now you can *really* beat that nigga up and take his car!'
<frumpy> I'll bet is sells millions of copies while parents everywhere just throw their hands up and say things like 'what am I supposed to do about it?!?!'
<SForce> they'll just be happy their kids are getting some kind of exercise
<frumpy> 'yes honey.. I know he's in there beating up prostitutes.. but remember when he used to just _sit_ there and do it?'

#712885 +(911)- [X]

<DarkPaladin> You know how people don't spea properly ost of the time?
<DarkPaladin> *most
<DarkPaladin> *speak
<Tiddles> I do now.

#712887 +(380)- [X]

<murrrr> *bites tommah's hand off*
<murrrr> it must be pretty hard to type with only one hand
<FraudulentTommah> I won't respond to that

#713015 +(-259)- [X]

<kunk> sigh i wish i had a piece of the shuttle to sell
<kunk> i should just bust up an air conditioner
<kunk> and be like "the cooling mechinism from the space shuttle!"

#713056 +(467)- [X]

sionanomics: know anyone that knows loads about cars?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: My mate Jeeves.
sionanomics: he online?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: www.ask.com
sionanomics: :(

#713059 +(2315)- [X]

<SaintAlvus> Does the name Doctor Pavlov ring a bell?

#713079 +(441)- [X]

<monkeylice> love is blind
<monkeylice> lust is deaf

#713081 +(877)- [X]

<@Raekiel> .....just had a very blonde moment
<@Raekiel> was lighting the stove and accidentally burned myself
<@Raekiel> and for a very brief moment
<@Raekiel> wondered why the fuck the flames were so hot, as I had it on low....

#713082 +(72)- [X]

quiet >> What's faster than a speeding bullet?
eskaypey >> chuck norris
quiet >> a Jew with a coupon.

#713109 +(6)- [X]

<Noobles> i'm not getting any presents
<Yolmer> uh-huh
<Ravus> you're getting a small lump of COAL
<Ravus> due to molesting small children all year
<Ravus> santa doesn’t approve

#713121 +(300)- [X]

poetically kyle:  my gramma's funny...we were driving behind  a short bus and she saw all the helmets and she was like "OH LOOK! HOCKEY PLAYERS!"

#713125 +(-331)- [X]

Mark1: yeh my house is emo
Mark1: it cuts its walls

#713127 +(749)- [X]

<rhpot1991> Eighty percent of our young adults (according to National Geographic) were not able to find Iraq on the map.
<formatc> oh man that's classy
<bueller> they are ahead of their time rhpot1991
<bueller> since in five years there will be no Iraq on the map

#713132 +(502)- [X]

Kamikazefish17:  sweet.  im at work but no one is here.  yet again
Mikelucky8:  That sucks. Also, Disney is ruining ANOTHER book that I read as a child by making it a movie.
Kamikazefish17:  which one now?
Mikelucky8:  the Bridge to Terabithia. It's supposed to be about some kids finding some secluded forest place and growing attached to it like an alternate reality, but instead Disney is skipping the symbolism and metaphor and going straight for freaking robopirates and beavers with collanders on their heads

#713133 +(1574)- [X]

Oli: lol
Oli: my gf just won one of my ebay auctions
Oli: was supposed to be my xmas present
Oli: she didnt knew my ebay name

#713147 +(423)- [X]

-!- lightman [~light@] has joined #japan
<lightman> i must find a japanese wife
<lucke> google-san.

#713150 +(559)- [X]

Viki: chris.....say NO to peadophiles
Epo: um..
Epo: NO
Viki: oh fuck.. I walked into that

#713155 +(415)- [X]

<MightyOne> How do you circumsize a whale?
<ChubbyFrog02> Very carefully?
<MightyOne> Four skin divers.

#713158 +(985)- [X]

A> I lost my virginity around 5 years ago.
Rice> Virgin by choice
Random> heh
Pork> Whose choice Rice?

#713274 +(632)- [X]

<Gig> Bah, drunk students setting off the firealarm to the building, silent one too, so direct to the fire station. So we had some fireman knocking on our door trying to get us out
<Gig> and my flatmate who answered the door shouted out "Hey lads! look the stripper's here!"
<Gig> you would be surprised how fast people got out of their rooms

#713428 +(1599)- [X]

<Crimson> Damnit, I have to work in 1 hr!!
<Crimson> Damn these IRc's... they steal my sleep like the blacks steal tv's.
<BigJP> I'm black.
<Crimson> Its a plasma! Its in the den, just dont hurt my family!

#714195 +(730)- [X]

<Tom86> can i ask you a personal question?
<MoHaWk> 8 inches

#714207 +(-51)- [X]

* Calydor raises an eyebrow.
<Calydor> Weren't you, y'know, banned?
<Killian> what's it look like to you? :>
<Killian> jive turkey
* Calydor checks the ban-list.
<Calydor> Looks like to me you got a different IP.
<Killian> news to me. Whaddya wanna do about it sucka? :>
* Calydor sets mode: +b *!*@adsl-69-232-222-88.dsl.pltn13.pacbell.net
* Killian was kicked by Calydor (This.)
* Calydor coughs.
<Locandez> What a twat.
<Calydor> Yup.
*Killian* I may be banned, but you're still a furry. I'd say I came out better in the deal :>
<Calydor> Bash.org rule #1: Don't call the guy with an @ names.

#714239 +(448)- [X]

<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> fuck
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> my cat died
<@Surtsey> LOL
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> ...
-!- Vlad_The1Inhaler [~joel@c-24-91-210-223.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has left #sebo
<@Surtsey> oops

#714240 +(549)- [X]

<FFD> I was just wondering where anyone could get 99 virgins together in one place... Then I remembered IRC.

#714248 +(444)- [X]

<DropShock> He was the BIGGEST Jewish person I've ever seen.
<DropShock> Aren't they supposed to be skinny and all?
<Trevor> It's Jewbacca!

#714249 +(2052)- [X]

madskz: i' tried ass fuck
takefive: haha
takefive: how was it?
madskz: what??
madskz: oh shit
madskz: *i'm tired as fuck

#714271 +(1440)- [X]

<coldXfire_> i need a slogan for an abortion clinic
<coldXfire_> ideas?
<p0lska> "If he doesn't pull it out, we will."

#714309 +(222)- [X]

<Werdnum> if (nickj.nationality == "au") { nickj.print("Yes"); } else { nickj.print("No"); }
<nickj> "yes" and "no" - dual Aus / Uk (born Edinburgh)
<Werdnum> nickj: I'm pretty sure that's a non-standard parser ;)
<nickj> hey, I deliberately try and put down answers that I know will confuse the system when filling in forms, so why should this be any different? ;-)
<Werdnum> nickj: SQL injection on the census?
<Werdnum> Name: Andrew'; DROP TABLE person;---

#714459 +(101)- [X]

* Now talking in #schizophrenia
* Topic is 'Welcome to chat for suffers and family and friends affected by schizophrenia - a brain disease.'
* Set by para on Tue Nov 14 18:00:23
<CaffeineBoy> hey
<CaffeineBoy> so... do you guys make individual usernames for your multiple personalities?

#714482 +(496)- [X]

Gigs|  spammers need to get thier shit straight
Gigs| "horny mom getting it for the first time"

#714532 +(716)- [X]

<Yoggit> No, it sucks, there's all these little kids, and they always try to talk to me.
<leeberace> i like kids
<Yoggit> I like kids, when they're being quiet and not moving.
<leeberace> those are dead kids
<leeberace> that doesn't really count

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