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#695897 +(419)- [X]

RandomLs: I find it strange that grown men are still obsessing over pokemon cards.
xZeppelin Martyr: I'm guessing you never owned a Japanese holographic Charazard when you were little.

#695919 +(854)- [X]

<kaiti> lmao, if you search for "porn" in Windows XP's Help and Support program, it recommends the article on how to use Internet Explorer

#695991 +(528)- [X]

<Kraide> Wow, that line you used was repetitive and redundant.
<Jer1400> That's was ironically ironical!

#696055 +(654)- [X]

<billy_s> chinese cant be THAT hard to learn, only one characeter to learn - '?'

#696187 +(1370)- [X]

<osseh> i have a twin pack of garlic bread in the freezer
<osseh> on the packet it says "contains 18 servings"
<osseh> 18 servings from 2 garlic breads?! what the fuck
<osseh> does it come with a mini jesus inside

#696359 +(986)- [X]

Maf54: You in your boxers, too?
Underage_page: Nope, just got home. I had a college interview that went late.
Maf54: Well, strip down and get relaxed.
Maf54: What ya wearing?
Underage_page: tshirt and shorts
Maf54: Love to slip them off of you.
Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?
Underage_page: A little.
Maf54: Cool.

#696360 +(48)- [X]

<Chuck> MorticiaN, I wanna say something to you.  Im gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you dont, send it right back.  i want to be on you
<MortIciaN> ok so you want to be on me
<MortIciaN> like piggy back ride?
<Chuck> no i was thinking more along the lines of a rodeo bull

#696364 +(742)- [X]

[Maverick] just imagine if it was a 10 dollar fee to get into heaven
[Maverick] and you died
[Maverick] but left your wallet in your car
[Maverick] so you couldn't pay the 10 dollar admin. fee
[BallsDeep] i would mug the next guy

#696388 +(2422)- [X]

<Jace> god this computer is running like a dog
<h0ax> Jace unless it is a lame dog or missing several limbs, dogs usually run pretty fast
<h0ax> I wouldnt want to race one
<Jace> god this computer is running like an elepant
<Jace> hope they run slow
<h0ax> memory is working well then?
<mole-inc> elephants are pretty fast
<ReKTeK> they can run faster than humans :P
<h0ax> why dont you say a turtle or something
<h0ax> turtles are KNOWN for being slow
<Jace> god this computer is running like a TURTLE FINE HA
<h0ax> but then.. it did beat the hare..
<Jace> god this computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> no, they're fast, usually. except against turtles.
<mole-inc> god this computer is running like a crippled ant.
<Jace> god this computer is running like a turtle unless competing against a hare in which case the computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> you know you could just say it's running slow.
<Jace> oh yeh
<Jace> could do that... i guess...

#696389 +(998)- [X]

< myren> feel like i'm gonna fucking die
< [mbm]> ?
< Wonka> to die fucking would quite sure feel better...
< [mbm]> wouldn't want to be the partner
< [mbm]> I mean, do you finish?

#696393 +(386)- [X]

<shumani> when gnosticism becomes mainstream, is that mass hip gnosis?

#696405 +(127)- [X]

<Brenton> see, you arent even willing to hear anything without pre-concieved ideas.
<Kvant> Brenton, you have no preconceived ideas, i guess?
<Brenton> no i dont.
<Brenton> ive decided what i believe is the Truth

#696417 +(832)- [X]

<steven>: heh, im doing the rough draft on my analasys paper, but i have to truncate it when i email it through the school's web system, so im gonna do "anal-rough.doc" and send it to the teacher =D

#696418 +(277)- [X]

<Mildain> does anyone else find that they run alot faster when carrying a knife?
<Vidaeus> in Real Life? Yes.

#696423 +(697)- [X]

<gmip> aaaahahahahaha
<gmip> i just got banned from #america
<gmip> trivia game
<gmip> "what live cargo came over on the mayflower? *******
<gmip> so i said niggers
<gmip> guess i was wrong?

#696478 +(800)- [X]

<Anony-X> Whats the worst thing about rollerskating?
<Anony-X> Telling your parents your gay.

#696495 +(528)- [X]

<@blaxthos> let me tell you what
<rambo_> what is what?
<@blaxthos> there were these two israeli bitches in my club tonight
<@blaxthos> that were fucking insane hot
<rambo_> jews are hot.
<@blaxthos> these jews were exceptionally hot
<rambo_> fresh from the oven hot?

#696500 +(32)- [X]

<Spazzo> What would you say if I just got back from getting laid from my g/f?
<Grosz2> dude
<Grosz2> You fucked a porn movie?

#696501 +(728)- [X]

<Latly> Dude I just heard an amazing story
<Latly> My friends g/f was getting bored of her everyday love life
<Latly> Sex, kissing, sex, etc.
<Latly> She decided to make it a bit more romantic
<Latly> So she decides to burn a disk of sexual songs, and plays it during their "fun hour"
<Latly> I came over that day, and just swiped the disk with another one
<Witds> with wat
<Latly> Lets just say, that they will be having a blast doing it to barneys singalongs

#696554 +(1823)- [X]

<BiG_D> Every girl who has ever been attracted to me is a vegetarian!
<BiG_D> Try to explain that!
<WolfLord> you have no meat
<WolfLord> hehe
<BiG_D> hmmm
<BiG_D> fuck
<BiG_D> I did not see that coming
<BiG_D> Last time I tell that story!

#696557 +(818)- [X]

<_God> i'm gonna just send in a quote that says: Hi bash mod. what's up dude? sure must suck to read so much shit, ey? oh well, i'm gonna go. peace
<Proffa> or you could go to a public library and flood it with "WHY WONT YOU APPROVE ME"
<Proffa> like, 300 of those
<Proffa> :-)
<_God> haha
<_God> that's pointless spamming
<_God> i want to just send in a little "hello, thanks for your efforts" message
<Proffa> their efforts that always deny you?
<_God> ....good point.
<_God> Revised: Dear bash mod. Suck it.

#696846 +(116)- [X]

<BlasterWisconsin> anyone know how many cups are in a quart ?
<BlasterWisconsin> iam making carmel corn and need 2 qts of popcorn
<CBG> depends on the size of the cup
<CBG> I mean, a 36D would fill a quart much quicker...

#696866 +(-69)- [X]

<Mantits> You're going to end up paying for her extended family to live until they're 132
<Mantits> because japs NEVER DIE
<Mantits> except by suicide

#696919 +(710)- [X]

<W-ll-am> well its nearly working
<BoltBait> You are aware, code that ALMOST works looks NOTHING like the code that ACTUALLY works.
<W-ll-am> dont tell me that, its due tomorrow

#696989 +(316)- [X]

<actaviosan> i got ddosed today
<actaviosan> didnt last very long
<actaviosan> thought my first time would be better

#696997 +(2690)- [X]

<Goat25> what is the volume of a pizza of radius z and thickness a ?
<Goat25> answer: pi z z a

#697034 +(699)- [X]

<Shoel> Look, the basic principle of IRC is this: Never ask anyone anything. Ever.

#697126 +(432)- [X]

<Slimano> You know the Paul McCartney song 'Mamunia'?
<john|away> yea
<Slimano> I think mamunia in arabic is 'Peace'
<LLXerxes> No wonder I've never heard it before.

#697182 +(419)- [X]

BlackFridayXRule: dude, find an asian party, i want to hook up with an asian chick
ziggyzhang5: asian party, no such thing
BlackFridayXRule: oh sorry, i meant lan party

#697190 +(933)- [X]

SilverD: hmm, how can you tell if you're running a 32 bit or a 64 bit OS?
Reilithion: Is your computer all new, fancy, and shiny?
SilverD: no
Reilithion: You're running 32 bit.

#697515 +(1318)- [X]

|Polly|: I'll rape you in the face
Phantom: My mom saw that
|Polly|: Good
|Polly|: I was talking to her

#697526 +(1593)- [X]

<Syphon> I was walking up the path from the parking lot to my apartment, and there were two girls talking. One of them saw me carrying a Wendy's bag and said "That's not very healthy", and without even thinking I say "And you're not very attractive" and just kept walking <.<;

#697534 +(823)- [X]

<Kalthare> Dammit, I'm losing my stack pointer somewhere in fat_mount(). :(
<Quazgaa> Kalthare: sounds like a bad date

#697693 +(1083)- [X]

computersislove: im annoyed.
AbnormalMembrane: Wrong suffix.
AbnormalMembrane: You mean "-ing"
AbnormalMembrane: Sorry. I'm kinda a grammar Nazi about these things.

#697712 +(1890)- [X]

Madrigal:  I have DSL
Madrigal:  Which backwards is "LSD"
Madrigal:  But for my sake, and the sake of being backwards, I'd rather get Dial.

#697756 +(2595)- [X]

<Blauw>If i die and i get reincarnated, i wish i was my girlfriends pussy
<Argy>Why?
<Blauw>Then i would be able to see all my friends again

#697792 +(113)- [X]

<e1f> would you like to touch my .emacs?
<e1f> it's really big

#697848 +(374)- [X]

<sarae> seems like im getting an abortion every other week lately
<Tarkaan> did you get one of those little cards?
<Tarkaan> cause on the 10th punch, you get a free one
<Tarkaan> like at subway

#697959 +(1297)- [X]

<dmonk> ok, what bible character would you fuck?
<bobert> jesus christ man
<dmonk> ew seriously? id want eve

#698068 +(342)- [X]

<Zerro> there's this lady that lives at this place i deliver pizza to...
<Zerro> and she used to answer the door in scantily clad clothing
<Wry> oh yea, the one your manager went to see?
<Zerro> and i hit on her
<Zerro> and fucking guess what
<Wry> you hit on her?!
<Wry> xD
<Zerro> SHES ONE OF MY MOM'S FIENDS
<Wry> OMG
<Zerro *FRIENDS
<Wry> HAHA
<Wry> HOLY CRAP
<Zerro> I SAW HER ON MY MOM'S MYSPACE
<Wry> HOLY FREAKING CRAP

#698074 +(399)- [X]

<HORNYFAQR>: im afraid one of the kindergardeners is hitting on me now
<Hades Dragoon>: ...
<HORNYFAQR>: he's giving me winks and eye raises
<HORNYFAQR>: i'm scared
<Hades Dragoon>: he's gonna take you in the night
<Hades Dragoon>: he's following you as we speak
<HORNYFAQR>: well none of them know where i live
<Hades Dragoon>: that's why he's following you

#698150 +(574)- [X]

<Dave> Well. I'mma go shower and then go pick up my friend from jail.
<Dave> I'll be back later.
<Shadowpillar> ask him how big his anus is
<Dave> He's a big dude, no one's going to fuck with him.
<Shadowpillar> ask him how many other people he's cornholed
<Shadowpillar> lol
<Dave> He's been in jail for roughly 5 hours.
<Dave> And he has a girlfriend.
<Dave> I'm betting on a grand total of six.

#698160 +(581)- [X]

<PS_Mouse> it would seem IRC doesn't like Azureus
<coedman> it knows your warezing ways
<PS_Mouse> I'm not warezing, I'm downloading .isos for obscure versions of linux
<PS_Mouse> very obscure
<coedman> versions of linux that happen to resemble recently released software or movies?
<coedman> >.>
<PS_Mouse> not at all
<PS_Mouse> for what ever reason the guy who's been compiling these versions has done away with the standard numerical versioning system and resorted to using album names
<PS_Mouse> for example, the beta versions are named after metallica albums

#698184 +(1375)- [X]

<Pongball> what's the most interesting thing that happened to you yesterday?
<Pongball> anyone!
<Arrow> Nothing yesterday
<The_Epitome> errrm
<Arrow> Well, I did get Sim Tower working yesterday
<The_Epitome> it rained extremely heavily
<The_Epitome> so I wore my ski jacket for the first time in months
<Arrow> As for today
<Arrow> I am 40 minutes from having all 601 aired episodes of Power Rangers.  =/
<Crablouse> any time I feel concerned about the direction my life is going
<Crablouse> I merely have to look in here
<Crablouse> and I feel better almost instantly
<Crablouse> good work everyone

#698189 +(731)- [X]

[XClaireX]: i was masturbating the other day
[Childzy]: uh.. okay
[XClaireX]: i think i did it wrong
[XClaireX]: ..
[XClaireX]: i'm pregnant now :' (

#698198 +(1166)- [X]

<Ivyshaur> No, we've been informed that listening to Rammstein is the best way to learn German.
<mrPants> You learn it very quick
<mrPants> The problem is that you only know how to talk about sodomy, canibalism, incest, and death
<granola> there are other things to talk about?
<mrPants> Not in germany

#698219 +(579)- [X]

<@wzpr> #000000 official irc channel of the NAACP

#698223 +(2447)- [X]

<zerco> we should have our own quote on bash
<Phaet> dude it's easy
<Phaet> every quote which contains a word "masturbation" gets accepted
<Phaet> see? we're on bash already :)
<zerco> hi mom!

#698233 +(1503)- [X]

Flared Oblivion: Do you play MS?
knucklehead800: MapleStory?
Flared Oblivion: Yes
knucklehead800: Never heard of it

#698246 +(698)- [X]

JA: would you date a christian?
JK: Sure
JK: I'd screw the Jesus right out of her
JA: OMG i can't BELIEVE you just said that
JK: Because once you've been in bed with me, you know the truth
JK: there is no God :(


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