#674745 +(474)- [X]
<Kansas|Working> I went to the Isle of Wight Once too, there was this guy there who had one leg and was jumping down the street, it was funny, reminded me of a pogo-stick.
<Jochta> Oh, so yuo find disabled people funny?
<Kansas|Working> Only if they remind me of a garden toy.
#674850 +(720)- [X]
<drev> how was your weekend?
<LaDyLoVe> amazing! my friends threw a surprise party for my birthday :)
<drev> fuck the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party was a fucking intervention
#675020 +(560)- [X]
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> can somebody help me?
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> i know linux is more secure
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> but i can't run linux because i still need windows
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> i want to install the linux version of firefox on windows
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> anybody know how?
#675073 +(1297)- [X]
<chaz> I had to recompile our software to pick up the new libraries etc
<chaz> we then hit an issue with connectivity to the database server
<chaz> but thats what i fixed (i hope) this morning, so we'll see :)
* Twitch crosses her fingers for you
<chaz> my apologies, I didn't realise you were female.
<chaz> I should turn my geek off. :/
<Twitch> I'm in Physics, don't bother
#675097 +(685)- [X]
<JaKa> In soviet russia, you must kill a kitten to masturbate
#675105 +(1005)- [X]
<kan> the nigerian government has orderd 1,000,000 of those "100 dollar laptops" for its people.
<kan> just what we need more nigerians sending email.
#675122 +(338)- [X]
<Falc0> i am gonna start a new bussiness,
<Falc0> skydiving for pedophiles
<Falc0> make em pay in advance cash only
#675190 +(596)- [X]
<postlogic> You should -never- go back and look at spur-of-the-moment written code.
<postlogic> It's like watching yourself throw up in replay.
#675378 +(323)- [X]
aphextron > Friends are highly overrated.
aphextron > Have you ever once masturbated with a friend?
aphextron > I should hope not, unless it’s a girl friend
aphextron > but if that were the case you wouldn’t be reading this
#675555 +(851)- [X]
<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots
#675557 +(1057)- [X]
<nilson> I have 4.5 gallons of beer
<nilson> for my after prom party
<Advil> that's a lot of beer
<Advil> for two guys
#675691 +(799)- [X]
<Swiich> remember how I went to the hospital on tuesday?
<Swiich> I screwed up my liver from chugging an entire bottle of cough syrup to trip
<_nosiop> without reading the label for other active ingredients or checking what they do online?
<_nosiop> 15 minutes of research could have saved you 15% liver function or more
#675703 +(1888)- [X]
<svinx> yknow when you go to a party, and everyones hooked up except one guy and one girl
<svinx> and so they look at each other like.. do we have to?
<svinx> intel & nvidia must be lookin at each other like that right now
#675734 +(1260)- [X]
Chris: I hate the way flash slows browsers down
Steve: Try java, that slows it down much better
#675885 +(890)- [X]
<D1_> in third grade
<D1_> I saw this girl have a seizure and spasm on the floor
<D1_> and man did her tongue go down her throat
<D1_> now that I think of it
<D1_> it was kind of sexy
<twin> what the FUCK
#676032 +(1198)- [X]
<Epic> how are^things?
<Epic> I've been up 48 hours now ;_;
<Dr_Ian> is that why you typoed the space bar as shift and 6?
#676189 +(2815)- [X]
Jefferson: FOR SOME REASON MY PASSWORD ON HOTMAIL WON WORK
Mymuffinfatty: do you have caps lock on?
#676384 +(1692)- [X]
<PhantomSkyfire> I was practicing with crutches and broke my leg.
#676535 +(1918)- [X]
RonilWazlib: man that sucked
RonilWazlib: if your girlfriend tells you she feels fat and hugs you for moral support, do not start jiggling her butt in an attempt to find the natural frequency of fat
RonilWazlib: and if she asks, DO NOT tell her what you are doing
#676621 +(503)- [X]
<Cob`Onsite> unfortunately when i leave here, i must go to a church with a 90 year old secretary
<Ridgey_wtf> church? what's that?
<ragtop> its similar to a mental hospital, but with less physical restraints
#676664 +(302)- [X]
<cloud1> if warez is too expensive for you, maybe the internet isnt a wise investment for you either
#676711 +(519)- [X]
* Fragalot moo's loudly at Naib
* Naib goes to have steak
#676781 +(514)- [X]
A[S]Vicious: Dude.. I fell asleep last night when I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone.. She was masturbating to my voice, and started talking about how her big vibrator was stuck, and she couldn't get it out.
A[S]Vicious: And I fell asleep..
A[S]Vicious: It was awesome
#676794 +(563)- [X]
renol07: yo whats up
renol07: yo what up
renol07: what happen yo click
wryterra: "what happen yo click"? what the hell is that?
wryterra: I'm afraid I don't speak moron.
#676795 +(1030)- [X]
neeley_09: I just realized that I'm kind of a rarity on IRC...
diablo: What do you mean?
neeley_09: Well, I actually play aports sometimes, and I do things with people, except in real life
diablo: Hey, not everyone on IRC is a geek
neeley_09: What's the biggest thing you've done today?
diablo: I played Oblivion for a few hours, I guess
neeley_09: You can't even lie about it?
#676796 +(267)- [X]
<Osiris_69> we cant be a couple because she wont agree to oral sex before mariage
<Osiris_69> catholic chinese, who is the ass who converted them? im gona kill those fuckers
<AntiZzZ> i dated one of em
<AntiZzZ> she never gave it up in like 8 months
<AntiZzZ> she was rich tho
<Poppet-> 8 months
<Osiris_69> on the 9th month anti?
<AntiZzZ> we broke up
<_hit> she had a black baby
#676801 +(815)- [X]
<tokenshi> does anyone seriously use realplayer anymore?
<Freddie> I thought they died :o
<RvLeshrac> They're doing extraordinarily well
<tokenshi> i believe i still have an audio clip buffering from 1999 in realplayer
#676803 +(800)- [X]
<Keimu> come on lemme back in lol
<Calendros> You're still banned
<Calendros> come back later
* Keimu (Keimu@ZiRC-A4D4B0A.hsd1.il.comcast.net) has left #AY.Radio
#676812 +(600)- [X]
<mETRo> you shoulda taken it back to walmart lol
<mETRo> they take anything back
<zx2ms> dude serisouly I was read to just throw it away and buy a new one
<zx2ms> instead of go through the hassle
<mETRo> you could bring in a box of used rubbers there
<mETRo> and theyd be like "was there anything wrong with them?"
<[xENo]> just set the kid on the counter
#676846 +(738)- [X]
mintgreenfaerie: rice or ice cream?
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice cream.
mintgreenfaerie: hehe, sounds like something from Scooby-doo
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: no
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: that would be
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice ream
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: which sounds like the name for some sick asian porno.
#676873 +(1586)- [X]
<LocK> I had a conversation about my penis with 2 girls yesterday
<ezmac> must have been a short conversation...
<ophelia> If they're pointing and laughing, it's not a conversation
#676881 +(79)- [X]
* %James|AFK kicks Cruise in the balls..... WAKE UP >.<
<bootsector> What a nice way to wake someone up!
<SilentDragz> I've woken up before with my 9 year old cousin's face about an inch away from mine
<SilentDragz> my face, not balls
<SilentDragz> that sounded so wrong
#676884 +(1524)- [X]
<Chalk> i got a new hard drive and i thought it was fucked cos there was a really weird noise coming from it
<LocK> heh, that sucks
<Chalk> then i realsied there was a crow at my windoe
<Chalk> going raaaaaaaaw
<Chalk> stupid crow
#676896 +(421)- [X]
<matt1020> is any 1 smart in hear?
#676902 +(1883)- [X]
(&Gsus) thanks to asian porn i know now the japanese words for "More" "oh god yes" "fuck me hard" and "get that tentacle out of my ass"
#677056 +(1253)- [X]
<Tyranu[work]> tried to have a customer complaint about a mouse that only worked to the sides and not up and down.... found out later that he didn't move the mouse forward/backwards but rather lifted it up and down... a part of me died that day
#677064 +(457)- [X]
<+Ne0v001> I was playing Halo 2 yesterday
<+Ne0v001> my friend was over
<+Ne0v001> and I perfectly jumped 3 obstacles
<+Ne0v001> clicked on my invisibility
<+Ne0v001> and slipped by all the guards
<+Ne0v001> and mumbled
<+Ne0v001> "I don't play this game too much"
<+Ne0v001> and he was like
<+Ne0v001> "Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?"
#677083 +(552)- [X]
(%neeley_09) chain letters aren't even trying anymore
(%neeley_09) "You are definately going to die tonight."
(%neeley_09) "So repost this before you do!"
#677113 +(1208)- [X]
<scalar> ok, UPS guy came, now I can shower :P
<Keneto> famous phrases to remember not to take out of context?
#677495 +(1012)- [X]
Nautilus724: One time I tried to piss off the people at McDonalds by ordering the food in the little Spanish I knew.
Nautilus724: I think that was the first time they didn't screw up my order.
#677737 +(823)- [X]
<TheFlibble>Windows XP doesn't like admitting it's made a mistake
<TheFlibble>It doesn't give error messages it just tries to carry on regardless
<TheFlibble>Its like an embarrassed old man sitting in a pool of his own piss.
#678111 +(550)- [X]
<Animule> HHooww ddoo yyoouu ttuurrnn ooffff llooccaall eecchhoo iinn tthhiiss tthhiinngg??????
#678180 +(933)- [X]
<Blarrrg> so my CD drive stopped working a couple days ago
<Blarrrg> i figured it must have just been the drivers
<Blarrrg> i looked around but couldn't find any, so i emailed the company requesting them
<Blarrrg> today i go to check my mail, and guess what i find
<Blarrrg> they mailed me a CD with them
#678185 +(257)- [X]
<VsX> i had a great idea for a t-shirt, but part of it is trademarked
<VsX> the front will say "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil...."
<VsX> and the back will say "but touch and taste it ALL YOU WANT"
#678377 +(355)- [X]
<jesusghet> ok IE sucks
<jesusghet> it doesnt support google calendar
<shaan> it does support spyware though
#678420 +(601)- [X]
<iMP> my friend just told me a horrible story
<iMP> so, he came to a shop on his bike and left it at the entrance
<iMP> he was inside the shop only for about 5 minutes
<iMP> when he came out, the bike was still there, but obviously something was wrong
<iMP> taking a close look, he noticed the absense of pedals.
<iMP> the country where people steal things they don't need at all just out of boredom has no future :(
#678538 +(231)- [X]
<Kojo> Nobody wants to star in my Star Wars porn video :(
<Kojo> The truth behind the scenes:
<Kojo> "Han Shot First"
#678662 +(318)- [X]
Metl_AtWork: "Whatever comes out of the resolution must address the root cause," Bush said
Metl_AtWork: I love bush quotes.
Metl_AtWork: he makes me feel smart when I read them.
Metl_AtWork: hes like the John Madden of politics =D
#678684 +(651)- [X]
<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
<tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
<tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
<tydel> kind of a conversation ender
#678715 +(1794)- [X]
Ben174: fuckin paypal.. they need new databases or something.. seems like every other day i get an email and have to go update my account information.