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#657925 +(-15)- [X]

<killsdow> do harddrives like...
<killsdow> lose speed if u rewrite on them too much?

#657940 +(445)- [X]

<@Kaczynski> I say reinstate the death penalty
<@Kaczynski> and execute corrupt politicians
<@Kaczynski> how are they acting differently from organized criminals?
<@andro> they're getting caught

#657985 +(791)- [X]

<blast007> okay, here's what you do
<blast007> you go to a resturant, and you ask for a grilled cheese sandwich
<blast007> and ask for limburger cheese on it
<A-Delusion> I always ask for a chicken and an egg, to see which comes first.

#657988 +(64)- [X]

<GoreJanez> I hate that captain of Enterprise from star trek
<GoreJanez> He's like an irc-newby
<GoreJanez> when he meets someone in space, he's all like: "hi, how are you, where are you from, wanna be my friend?"
<R_Nereda> #gothicmetal solar system would be his final frontier
<GoreJanez> he'd got attacked by ban-beams in no time

#657992 +(278)- [X]

<_grunt> wife washed my damned wallet
<_grunt> i got freshly laundred money
<_grunt> my driving record is now clean
<_grunt> a new social security card washed up
<_grunt> wonder if the soap washed the debit off my credit cards

#658085 +(524)- [X]

<nickee> how can i se the size on layers in photoshop ??
<Unhold> ctrl+acn return ctrl+v alt+ii
<Unhold> common shortcut
<nickee> huh o_O
<Unhold> yeah, sometimes i think photoshop evolved from emacs

#658119 +(548)- [X]

<TreCool> I had the stupidest secretary ever today at the unviersity. I walked in to get my transcripts and she tells me she needs my school ID number and my first and last name. Now I'm wearing my hat that has my last name on the back of it over the Oilers symbol and I'm wearing the hat backwards so its right out there for her to see. So anyway, I give her my id number and my first name then say my last name. The secretary said "Oh cool! Just like the one on your hat! Now how do you spell that?" I was like "...". I was so tempted to bitch slap that moron.

#658292 +(2084)- [X]

<FireHmpstr> My friend broke up with his girlfriend or whatever
<FireHmpstr> So now every damn time I see the fucker I have to hear him whine
<FireHmpstr> "But I loved her so much, how could i ever live without her, Blah blah..."
<FireHmpstr> And all I can think about is how to kill him without anybody finding out.
<FireHmpstr> and then maybe rape that bitch too
<XKKBK> err, are you talking about me?
<FireHmpstr> OH SHI-
<FireHmpstr> forgot you were here

#658339 +(721)- [X]

<phazonfox> Mario Kart is socialist.
<phazonfox> People in last place get better items.

#658354 +(499)- [X]

Sarah: I hate how society says we all have to be thin
Jenn: I'm fat because I'm rebelling

#658474 +(175)- [X]

<Warbum> lime wire for mac
<Warbum> and people said mac had no viruses

#658792 +(1655)- [X]

<jettekuk> can anybody help me?
<ironi> jettekuk: i hope you realize your nick mean huge cock in swedish
(and maybe other languages as well)
<jettekuk> no i didnít know that
<jettekuk> my name is jettek and i live in the uk

#658871 +(550)- [X]

<H0ley> Its like if you want to get a mate now a days, one has to get a myspace.
<H0ley> What ever happened to getting to know people and dates and crap.
<H0ley> Screw this profile crap.
<H0ley> Everyone is trying to profile each other.
<H0ley> Freaking meat-markets.
<L4m3r> Dogs leave piles of crap for each other. We have Myspace.

#658961 +(946)- [X]

milnarmo: damn i'm never gonna get a fishing license
milnarmo: lucky i already have my phishing license
darkwing14: what?
milnarmo: please enter your credit card number and expiration date to continue this conversation

#659196 +(1404)- [X]

<rush> anyone ever notice that klingons speak unix?
<rush> "Grep ls awk chmod"
<rush> "Mknod ksh tar imap"
<rush> "Wall fsck yacc"
<assassin> dude. you even give geeks a bad name.

#659223 +(245)- [X]

[GOD]Smithereens> Condoms are VERY good if you don't have any water balloons near you
[GOD]Smithereens> Don't EVER try the other way around though.
Xyranius> It's not fun>_<

#659231 +(912)- [X]

<Biff> man. 3 bigwigs from the rival company we just bought came here to visit
<Biff> they didn't seem happy AT ALL
<hekman> well they just got owned
<hekman> literally

#659306 +(241)- [X]

<tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
<tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o

#659425 +(389)- [X]

Andy: when I finish a song, I automaticly hate it.
Nielzor: that's quite a healthy attitude, though, I think, hating what you've created
Andy: like punching babies!
Nielzor: EXACTLY

#659546 +(482)- [X]

<rifkin> Happy Flag day everyone
<rifkin> the US army is 231 years old today
<rifkin> to celebrate I am leeching wireless from some iraqi in baghdad

#659570 +(646)- [X]

<Bobzilla> Curse this hooker website taking so long to load!
<Bobzilla> argh
<K Doc> ...
<Bobzilla> I can feel your judgemental stare
<Bobzilla> It feels good.

#659765 +(434)- [X]

<Az_Eating_lunch> We had to carry our IP packets up hill ourselves
<Az_Eating_lunch> I tell ya, when you are carrying your own packets, collisions suck

#659874 +(103)- [X]

ilovelickinstamp: i had all the answers to my history final today
ilovelickinstamp: and you know how you never want to get an A+
ilovelickinstamp: well i kept saying to myself
ilovelickinstamp: ok you can miss that one
ilovelickinstamp: and i lost count
ilovelickinstamp: and i ended up getting an 80%
ilovelickinstamp: i wouldve gotten a better score without the answers!
YaMoMsLova: dude...
YaMoMsLova: thats ridiculous mike

#660109 +(994)- [X]

<das> Headline: Bill Gates will be leaving Microsoft in July 2008
<Cryo> I'm sure that will be delayed.

#660136 +(284)- [X]

teimujin: so i'm playing Call of Duty 2 and the other team is camping with a machine gun, and i hear one of my teammates shout "the british are camping!"

#660278 +(730)- [X]

<Ethereal Souls> it gave me the "explorer.exe has generated errors"
<Ethereal Souls> BUT IT'S OK
<Ethereal Souls> An error log was created
<Ethereal Souls> which will be in Hex and tell me EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW
<Frag> Because, of course, you know EXACTLY what Windows stores in memory slot E35BA9564F
<Ethereal Souls> yeah
<Ethereal Souls> that's the line about it buttfucking me

#660555 +(435)- [X]

<Arielana> he's sitting next me on the couch with his head on the keyboard. Makes it hard to type.
<@Asmodee`> just push his face into the proper keys

#660644 +(2275)- [X]

<raphael_sorel> So, where you from? ;)
<sweet_angel47> Chicago, Illinois. how bout u?
<raphael_sorel> Manila, Philippines. :D
<sweet_angel47> where is that? in like, Russia?
<raphael_sorel> No, it's in South East Asia.
<sweet_angel47> dude, i totally fail at geometry
<raphael_sorel> ...

#660662 +(442)- [X]

<Cole> you totally blew me off for beards!
<@Pugh> i'd never blow a guy with a beard!
<@Pugh> erm...i mean a guy...full stop

#660692 +(584)- [X]

<Bushman> my inet sucks
<pikey> oohh
<impulse> does she swallow?
<Bushman> impulse: yes, my TCP packets

#661004 +(433)- [X]

<Sakireth> Infinite can't be explained by math or logics either.
<Sakireth> Well, maybe a little by logics..
<bob-E> just get 8 drunk, and then u got infinity

#661256 +(168)- [X]

<steve> oh man
<steve> I was watching this old kung fu movie
<steve> and this crazy japanese dude ripped off this black man's testicles
<steve> and then an evil american white man threw a knife into some other dudes eye
<steve> then the crazy japenese dude whiped his hands off on the black man's pants
<alphakx> sure sounds like kung fu

#661335 +(1015)- [X]

<n0vablaze> why do people automatically hate me when i join a channel?
<detmer> it saves time

#661344 +(840)- [X]

<miro> ramiro@calcifer:/etc$ ping www.thepiratebay.org
<miro> PING www.thepiratebay.org (83.140.176.146) 56(84) bytes of data.
<miro> 64 bytes from hey.mpaa.and.apb.bite.my.shiny.metal.ass.thepiratebay.org (83.140.176.146): icmp_seq=1 ttl=48 time=358 ms

#661785 +(342)- [X]

<@cmdr_sm> i don't mind people being gay 
<@cmdr_sm> i even feel honoured when someone tries to chat me up 
<@osi> now i know why you quit drinking 
<@osi> one time you just felt a bit too honoured ? ;)

#662011 +(768)- [X]

<MisterMastermind> Reminds me of an assignment I had... I had to name 10 fun things to do in a country. I pulled out a piece of paper from a hat, North Korea. "AW FUCK!"

#662153 +(1673)- [X]

<Claes> hey
<Claes> I was just thinking...
<Claes> If someone sent you 10 cd's and a note saying: 9 of these cd's contain porn. The last one fries your computer.
<Claes> what would you do?
* Claes Quit (Ping timeout)

#662231 +(801)- [X]

<3ifLikle> I used to masturbate while listening to my neighbors wild sex.
<3ifLikle> Then i met them and they were like 300 pounds. that ruined the whole thing...

#662266 +(973)- [X]

<rebb> chinese websites scare me :| ??????????????????????????? ??????? ? ????????????? ???????? ? ????????? Click ! ?????? ? ???? ? ???? ?
<voodoochopstiks> so many questions, so few answers

#662315 +(107)- [X]

TheGodfather2613: i mean if you're going to have upside down crosses you should also have a desecrated star of david and an upside down crescent moon as well as someone bitch slapping krishna

#662537 +(-126)- [X]

<HellDragon> hey a 50m water resistant watch is big enough to see the time ?

#662591 +(153)- [X]

[zerra] Just employ a number of chinese ppl and have them memorise ones and zeros..
[zerra] or force them to do that
[@opeth] you gotta get one named Ping
[@opeth] for network maintenance

#662640 +(1724)- [X]

<@Pie> unemployment rocks
<@Commander> you got fired?
<@Pie> long story
<@Commander> well, you're not going anywhere

#662643 +(348)- [X]

<Ohrly> so some idiot crashes into a power pole and I get queued because of it
<Ohrly> where is the justice
<shane\sleepa> lol...
<Slapparappa> If he's dead, its there.

#662700 +(346)- [X]

<DaRk_oDiN>: So I get this notice in the mail saying my application was accepted at this college I applied to.
<DaRk_oDiN>: And I'm looking to get my degree in Computer Science and Technology from these people...
<DaRk_oDiN>: So, they schedule a placement test for me to take to see what ther classes I need to take.
<DaRk_oDiN>: That placement test happens to be on their website...
<DaRk_oDiN>: Turns out, their servers are friggen broken and I have to reschedule my placement test after witing for like two hours.
<DaRk_oDiN>: And I want these people to teach ME how to work on computers -_-
<DaRk_oDiN>: Maybe they wanted to show me the universal protocol of bullshitting your customers.
<DaRk_oDiN>: I mean, that's like me going to a culinary school and they're like "Sorry, we can't seem to figure out how this damn over turns on, you're gonna have to come back later."

#662788 +(-186)- [X]

<ByeRights> what is it? firewire?
<@Pugh> erm...Serial
<ByeRights> probably uses a universal serial bus then
<ByeRights> oh wait, USB...

#663025 +(-163)- [X]

pOrTkI w AkCjI : i went to nickle nickle
pOrTkI w AkCjI : there were black people
pOrTkI w AkCjI : so i didnt get to play any shooters
pOrTkI w AkCjI : or the basket ball game
pOrTkI w AkCjI : fuckers

#663060 +(-112)- [X]

Dead Star> And I'm trying hard to moderate drugs.
Dead Star> Like less and less and less and less
Dead Star> I wanna stop weed I think, until I'm famous or something.

#663074 +(1215)- [X]

<agrippina> so there was this guy at work today, who brought back a copy of Madden '06 because it was it wouldn't play in his son's x box. he starts mumbling about how when he was young, he never had to worry about his baseball being compatable with his glove or his bat. And before i can stop myself, i blurt out "true. but no one ever died chasing their x box into the street."

#663087 +(3127)- [X]

<Td00d> a girl just walked past the window
<Ernestiqus> Go for it.
<Td00d> she's a bit too young.
<Ernestiqus> I swear officer, I didn't know she was 16
<Td00d> she isn't 16 :/
<Ernestiqus> If there's grass on the field play ball!
<Td00d> she's so young I doubt she's got hair there...
<Ernestiqus> Old enough to bleed is old enough to breed.
<Td00d> i don't think she's in puberty already
<Ernestiqus> Hit it before puberty does.


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