#631810 +(2004)- [X]
Stacy: Raymond is correct.
Raymond: I always am
Esuna: Raymond, what number am I thinking of?
Raymond: Esuna, you're not thinking of a number
Raymond: You're thinking of something to say when I do say a number.
Esuna: Damn it! How'd you know?
#631847 +(1327)- [X]
bcreasy: come check this out
bcreasy: *shiny thing*
gbarnes: oh, be right there
#631850 +(756)- [X]
Tammy: julia is having to cancel lunch, her uncle was murdered
Tammy: you want to do lunch :)
#631863 +(175)- [X]
<notjoe> yesterday i brought my cat to the vet since he wasnt peeing. So, the vet forced him to pee by putting pressure on his bladder but i swear i saw his finger was on the my cats asshole
<tripsta> did he put his finger in his mouth after
<samurai_> did he light up a smoke?
<notjoe> no and no
<notjoe> but there was no need to be fingering the cats ass by doing what he was doing
<notjoe> this other time he commented on how nice the cats testicles were
#631879 +(554)- [X]
<Towzzer> hey ufo
<ufo8mydog> hey ugly
<Towzzer> that's not my nick
<ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson
#631921 +(535)- [X]
Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her.
Tanith: she fucking turned around and saw me staring
Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(
#631937 +(2729)- [X]
<who> i can't watch brokeback mountain for the same reason i can't watch horror movies
<who> i would scream "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" in the middle of the theater
#632087 +(897)- [X]
<sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in emacs
<iank> pfft, how could you *not* know?
<iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+<
<iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..
#632373 +(800)- [X]
<Alex> f s h
<Alex> t c k s
<Alex> s i
<Laila> ...what is he trying to do?
<Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks.
<Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART
<Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ...
<Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just needs an explanation with lots of long words
#632442 +(913)- [X]
<Coma.> I'm drawing a pony for my friend
<Coma.> Except I can't draw so basicly I am drawing a horse only making it look small.
<Coma.> Because a pony is basicly just a little horse.
<Fish> wtf? No they aren't!
<Fish> That's like saying a midget's a person!!
#632445 +(1143)- [X]
scuttlemonkey: This [face recognition] technology should speed airport check-ins, but it could also be used in banks or for checking ID cards as it allows full identification in less than one second.
mcc: Great, I can't wait until the day when I get punched in the face, and suddenly I can't use ATMs anymore.
#632609 +(-114)- [X]
chewp: so i have to make a movie for chinese class
ransom: must be a pretty short movie huh?
#632703 +(2779)- [X]
<WarMoose> Think about how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half of them are dumber than that.
<Chunda> Why half?
#632794 +(2860)- [X]
Kanuck: i like to look at porn in pdf files.. just so i can make the little hand grab things.
#632841 +(1272)- [X]
monetcopy: girls are like nun chucks
monetcopy: they are awesome!
monetcopy: but when u mess up it hurts
#632900 +(702)- [X]
<sdodson> can you provide that in wma format?
<Corydon76-home> Only if you can provide an encoder
<Corydon76-home> but it has to be able to run on my Apple IIgs
<Wonton> Wma sucks
<sdodson> you can encode oggs on your Apple IIgs?
<Corydon76-home> No, but if you're going to be an asshole about encoding formats, I'm going to be an asshole about the platform the encoder needs to run on.
#632906 +(3756)- [X]
<bloodmaster> this guy keeps sending me notices, how do i send them back?????
<`Trust`> ./notice <nick> <message>
<bloodmaster> ./notice <Tommyboy872> <hello tommy, my name is john i am from michigan im 16! Im 5 foot 11 inch tall, you sound cute n we should talk more often ok??>
#633270 +(536)- [X]
<calvin909> I don't know what gives, but the last 3 movies i've downloaded are in frigging spanish.
<princess> dey took our pirating jobs!
<calvin909> yeah no doubt
#633436 +(8)- [X]
<benjick> i talked to a friend, who is a bit geeky about doctypes
<benjick> "when it comes to girls, i'm xhtml 1.1 strict, you are like 4.01 loose" :(
#633515 +(1818)- [X]
<werro> damnit :/
<werro> my dad found my porn
<Bob112> So what? I bet my dad knows I have porn.
<werro> but my dad didnt know Im gay :/
<Bob112> Um, like, neither did I
* werro has left #hookerz
#633530 +(626)- [X]
<KillerB> man, while I'm excited about the interview, getting my ass up at like 1:30pm is gonna blow.
#633735 +(2576)- [X]
<Chcherrycola>Oh shit I'm fucked
<Chcherrycola>I hid my weed in my PSP carrying case. So I get up to go get some and I can't find it anywhere, then I realise my little brother must have taken it with him on the plane to Florida with my family... O_O
#633742 +(1069)- [X]
<Chairboy> Windows Me is the kind of OS even a catholic would abort
#634090 +(410)- [X]
<sai sce> what's up?
<marc> nm, just plotting to kill my psych teacher
<sai sce> he'd probably be like "THE GUN SHOWS THAT YOU FEAR INTIMACY!!!"
<sai sce> while you were shooting him.
#634091 +(2825)- [X]
Clainsynar: What if all numbers were multiples of pi and our integer system was wrong?
TokMor: stop having such irrational thoughts
#634093 +(989)- [X]
shotz190: my cellphones just gettin worse as time goes on
shotz190: whenever somebody sends me a text, it just takes longer and longer to get here
shotz190: either that or jake wants to know if i can give him a ride to school yesterday
#634201 +(1592)- [X]
Rabid Manyak: Oh man, my mid-term mark update is awesome
Rabid Manyak: computer science: 61% science: 74% math: 51% philosophy: 97%
Rabid Manyak: Thanks LSD!
#634546 +(383)- [X]
<Josh> i ogtta go to an apointment
<Josh> i cant spell
<Josh> ps its not a spelling appt
<Phil> smart of you to abbreviate it the second time
#634805 +(407)- [X]
<@Miss_Morgan> ok get this
<@Miss_Morgan> I came up with a marketing campaign for a new cereal
<@Miss_Morgan> I was staring at some fruit loops I poured myself
<@Miss_Morgan> and after about 5 minutes of staring and munching, I realized something
<@Miss_Morgan> red... orange... yellow... green... blue... violet
<@Miss_Morgan> it's the 6-color rainbow!
<@Miss_Morgan> so get this
<@Miss_Morgan> in an approaching perspective and going up, stars and glitter-things coming off of the name
<@Miss_Morgan> and have three gay guys in the corner of the box
<@Miss_Morgan> on the bottom of the front pane, there'll be the slogan
<@Miss_Morgan> "They're fruity, they're colorful, they're fabulous!"
#635032 +(1951)- [X]
ZA|Drinking|: I remember in high school, during somebody made an off hand remark about wondering why they sacrificed virgins
ZA|Drinking|: And I was all like, they sure as hell ain't going to give up the ones that put out
ZA|Drinking|: And then I got detention
#635060 +(1949)- [X]
<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE
#635159 +(335)- [X]
<Choko> i know 101 ways to use a penis
<HamsterMan> does it include writing with it and playing baseball
<Choko> okay... now i know 103 ways
#635274 +(1783)- [X]
<dil-hole> Today I was at a restaurant and was waiting for my food.
<dil-hole> Then I started to play my DS on pictochat see? And I found someone that was playing it too.
<dil-hole> We started to draw pictures and thinking it was some older guy and everything, I was joking around and drew a penis.
<dil-hole> I looked up to see who it was and about 20 feet away, I heard a gasp. I look up and itís a 10 year old girl with a DS in her hands.
<dil-hole> I immediately closed my DS and hid it. That was freaken scary.
#635335 +(902)- [X]
<Doc> All this pollen is killing me, You can see the green clouds of it floating in the air.
<Doc> pollen is just tree sperm...
<Doc> I feel like mother nature just gave me a facial..
#635424 +(102)- [X]
Scouthouse: king kong was a good movie
elcucarachaloco: an AWESOME movie
elcucarachaloco: only one better is return of the king
Scouthouse: never seen it
elcucarachaloco: awesome movie
Scouthouse: but how can he return when hes dead?
#635469 +(286)- [X]
< f0rd> you can't do loops in html can you
#635493 +(855)- [X]
<BenS> Matt, have you heard about that webserver that's running off a potatoe for power ... just displays a text smiley face and takes like 15 seconds to load?
<Omnica> Brings new meaning to the term "server farm"
<BenS> You should be shot.
#635581 +(790)- [X]
< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now
< traicovn> until security comes and gets me
< traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to her room.
< traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same up there so I turned her down.
#635590 +(1102)- [X]
<&TwoZero> so.. the internet at work died completely and after trying to fix it I said fuck it and went home
<&TwoZero> and ran netstumbler on the bus.. and found 336 accesspoints
<&TwoZero> the bus stopped in front of a church, and the SSID 'satans partyhouse' appeared
<&TwoZero> must be some student living next to it or something
#635674 +(197)- [X]
aaront: Whatever ya say
xxkuku4purplexx: dont stick ur tongue out at me, are u like 2 or something?
aaront: you take emotiocons way too seriously <3
#635683 +(1694)- [X]
<Harkila> i've always wondered what "holy shit" actually is
<Harkila> my strongest mental image is about the pope taking a crap
<bleak-> a radiant turd with a halo
<Rancid-> like, xbox?
#635705 +(59)- [X]
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko
#635741 +(828)- [X]
<Mr_Saturn> Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like trying to diagnose brain cancer with a pointy stick
#635834 +(1040)- [X]
<Triumph> No wonder we can't win in Afghanistan.
<Triumph> We drop a dozen bombs and when no one is left standing, drop a bag of food.
<Triumph> Instead, we should drop the bag of food first and when everyone gathers around it, drop a single bomb.
#635838 +(1395)- [X]
Lush Puppy: I lost my virginity at an anime convention - this sentence makes me sound a lot fatter than I actually am.
#635862 +(433)- [X]
<Ezekiel> When we were doing about the 3rd world in RE, the teacher was saying how we live in the 1st world, africa is the 3rd world, but there isn't really a 2nd world
<Ezekiel> So this kid asks the teacher "Where was world war 2 fought then?"
#635901 +(685)- [X]
jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get? Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position open for me. :D
#635951 +(-117)- [X]
dracony_gentoo: i like to keep away from objects
dracony_gentoo: especially sharp ones
dracony_gentoo: get it
#636156 +(1431)- [X]
<Jonno> What's the difference between regular garlic and roasted garlic?
<Arclight> A gypsy once told me it was the roasting, but you shouldn't trust the gypsies
#636171 +(178)- [X]
<Mik0r> I wish they made cars that run on methane cause I sure produce a lot of it
<gerbil> i wish they made cars that run on methadone
<gerbil> cuz id siphon everyones fuel