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#608102 +(337)- [X]

<Rob_> What is the word where you think everything should die?
<+shortarabguy> emo?
<Rob_> heh
<Rob_> good one
<zenmastar> goth?
<Rob_> shut up

#608144 +(437)- [X]

<ASDF> In my data communications class, the teacher asked "How would one person in a company send a package to another person in another comapany?  Let's say that it was a woman."
<ASDF> Then someone said "Tell that bitch to come here and get it herself!"

#608156 +(2095)- [X]

<David_0mega> google maps has taught me many things
<junkntrunk> such as?
<David_0mega> that my neighbor has a pool for one thing

#608216 +(-1508)- [X]

(@prex) man .jp is fucking tight
(@prex) suggest you a get with it
(@antlers_) anyone shit on your face while you were there?
(@prex) yes, and i'm 500 yen poorer for the experience!
(@antlers_) tell you this much, my first time in Tokyo I fucking loved it... still do... but a visit to some of their adultshops just negated all positive thought
(@Blaxthos) never been to .jp
(@Blaxthos) i hear shit is expensive the most
(@prex) yeah well me not being a sexual deviant i didnt visit any adult shops
(@antlers_) <--- sexual deviant
(@prex) man mother fuck some edema
(@prex) flight was 9hrs and change tho
(@prex) fast as fuck
(@kaleido) did any of your less profitable bitches kill themselves because of the dishonor they felt when you arrived?

#608240 +(859)- [X]

cherrybomb1739: why are there hot chicks at church ?
marredduck: why is the good liquor always on the top shelf?
marredduck: the same reason

#608242 +(695)- [X]

<Dave> So my friend in school Andrew said he had linux
<Dave> After saying he got mIRC
<Dave> I told him you can't have both, mIRC is a windows Client
<Dave> Then he said he had Linux on his laptop
<Dave> I asked him what Distribution he had, he said wal-mart

#608442 +(1264)- [X]

<BoltBait> My wife saw my 7756 post count on the MOTL board and said, "you've never said that many things to me since we've been married."

#608521 +(1267)- [X]

<Numi> hey, can you guys just check a site out and tell me if it's up?
<Haddock> depends, what is it?
<Numi> just my apache server, it works for me but seems to be down for anyone else
<Haddock> alright, what's the address?
<Haddock> ......
<Haddock> ...Yeah, it's up.

#608523 +(1228)- [X]

<Grakrim> Woo, my doctor is on TV!
<Grakrim> ...Pleading the 5th in a criminal negligence trial...

#608693 +(1209)- [X]

<ensis> Well folks, I'm off to the farm
<ensis> I can actually say that too, how funny
<Bomp> They're lying
<Bomp> You're going to be put down

#609178 +(1299)- [X]

Chodeskius: hey whats a good name for my kitten
Shniznite: Qwerty
Chodeskius: that sounds so familiar
Chodeskius: where did u get qwerty.. oh.

#609240 +(1668)- [X]

< plasmadis> One time my dad stole a roll of brightly-colored stickers from a butcher's counter that said "BREASTS" and went to the video store and stuck them on all the movies that looked likely to contain nudity.

#609327 +(1325)- [X]

<Atob> a alphabetically be in organised sentence should words

#609999 +(1261)- [X]

* Now talking in #Democrats
<Gunman> is anybody here?
<Gunman> hmm...everybody's an op, but nobodys doing anything...
<Gunman> so im definately in the #democrats channel...

#610086 +(2530)- [X]

<hickhut> i have to write a speech on myself tomorrow
<hickhut> so gay
<mrquin27> there is a start

#610088 +(432)- [X]

ARcanUS NUMquam: night is sitll young
live billboard: virginal
ARcanUS NUMquam: the barrier between today and tommorrow has barely been pressured
live billboard: but soon it will be penetrated
live billboard: father time will thrust his way into the young tommorrow
ARcanUS NUMquam: using his tool that he nicknamed the "second hand" when it strikes 12

#610089 +(834)- [X]

<Vehementi> girlfriend-crafted brownies are the best
<BauB_> girlfriend crafted blowjobs are better
<Vvivix> those arnt really crafted though
<Vvivix> its more of a buff
<Vvivix> with a long cast time
<Hyper_Monkey20> Actaully, it's more of a debuff... It leaves you tranced and unable to go into combat.

#610697 +(1876)- [X]

<Guest1087> shut up asshole
<Pikanyah> If I'm an asshole, you're an asswipe. You're so low, you serve me.
<Guest1087> shup up bitch, i'm the asshole
<Guest1087> wait a sec....

#610712 +(850)- [X]

<Phatt_One> crap is disgusting
<syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap
<syntax> im a plumber
<syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my family

#610717 +(760)- [X]

<NathanielsBlaze> what do you think the game would be called if mario had a gun
<FalconWarrior> Metroid.

#610732 +(1129)- [X]

cmerc: "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows". - Helen Keller

#610847 +(2904)- [X]

Good Book Report

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing

#610952 +(1479)- [X]

(royshen) I have a headache
(MrWhite) i have a sandwich but i dont go around bragging about it

#611017 +(3117)- [X]

<Everdarkgreen> WE DID THE MASH
<Everdarkgreen> we did the keyboard mash
<Everdarkgreen> THE KEYBOARD MASH
<Everdarkgreen> it was a lihosdptjhskrjngiso;kihy,aehtptuyjgio;t

#611036 +(548)- [X]

< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that would pull details from flickr and google map
< shiruken> how far did you get?
< JaredCE> ermm
< JaredCE> i installed apache

#611062 +(1075)- [X]

<Alucard> and it was like love at first /whois

#611136 +(555)- [X]

<Ommi> So i was talking to this girl
<Ommi> that i have been talking to for a very long time now on msn messenger
<Ommi> and today i sent her a picture
<Ommi> after that she went offline
<Ommi> and now she's back online and isn't answering anything i say :/

#611290 +(235)- [X]

Edgey: I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl that would get really mad, if she heard me say that.

#611370 +(438)- [X]

MetalJunkie: Is it just me, or has technology gone too far when I have to ask whether or not my calculator is backwards compatible..

#611400 +(1880)- [X]

<spazbob> im orderin a black dvd writer, on the assumption it'll run faster

#611458 +(-392)- [X]

<ToasterIron> guys check it out i'm going to be this awesome scientist
<ToasterIron> one day i'm going to invent a base the only melts jews on contact
<ToasterIron> i'll call it holocaustic

#611544 +(628)- [X]

kristchan: you know you want some of mama's lovin
cromicus: thats disgusting
kristchan: I'd leave you walkin funnny
cromicus: yeah, that funny walkin is called "running away"

#611737 +(1169)- [X]

< smith> right, I just opened the yellow pages at random to the "scaffolding" page
< smith> and there's an advert saying "ENSURE YOUR NEXT ERECTION IS IN SAFE HANDS"

#612046 +(1690)- [X]

<koharski> heh, my dad "hey, can you run some CAT5 into my room?"
<koharski> apparently he wants to "check his email in bed"
<koharski> yesterday the router was blinking alot in my room
<koharski> so I went upstairs and knocked on his door
<koharski> "get any interesting emails?"
<koharski> he told me to go to bed :(

#612055 +(648)- [X]

Vann: turns out grilling the peanut butter and jelly was not my best idea.
Jeffrey: OMG you didn't...
Vann: no, george foreman did.

#612175 +(1490)- [X]

<Sunny> Holy crap!
<Sunny> No wonder I'm always being stared at by the cat across the way
<Sunny> There are two of them!!!
<Sunny> They must have been taking shifts...

#612472 +(576)- [X]

sexy       heyyyyy Adam i'm Sandra do you remember me?
sexy       same here
DJARCAS    I win.

#612687 +(1254)- [X]

<K|O|G|I> -- boss just gave me a list of things to do...
<K|O|G|I> #2) service computers (clean, oil, etc)

#613103 +(627)- [X]

[workin] I went back to get another 20" monitor..
[workin] they were sold out!
[workin] I had to get a 19
[workin] I told my husband ONLY a man would say that 1" doesn't matter

#613300 +(1741)- [X]

<fraseyboy> you know what i just realized?
<fraseyboy> I can be anyone i want on IRC!!!!!
<fraseyboy> ...
* fraseyboy is now known as fraseyman

#613464 +(302)- [X]

Brian Laptop: myspace is like the vegas of the internet.... a lot of people want to go but no one wants to admit what happens when they're there

#613541 +(1062)- [X]

USnip: today in english class
USnip: the teacher was discussing a thesis statement about close friends
USnip: and she was like
USnip: "well what do you want from a close friend?"
USnip: and one guy yelled out "well is it a male or a female"?
USnip: and she snapped back "I'm sure it doesn't matter to YOU"

#613563 +(2727)- [X]

,meep> i hate the parents who go "does it wash off?"
<meep> i'm like wtf! of course it freaking washes off
<meep> it's face paint
<meep> no i am going to permanently mark your child to look like a cat.

#613868 +(379)- [X]

<joesboxd3b> it is just ironic.... you can't get the cvs version of cvs unless you get the older version of cvs then cvs to the cvs server to get the latest cvs version of cvs

#614648 +(2362)- [X]

<@Wally> stupid muslims promise virgins
<@Wally> if they promised lightsabers I'd be on my way to mecca
<@Wally> I can hang out with virgins on IRC

#614856 +(1213)- [X]

<Geese> Did you know that some people say "niche" instead of "niche"?
<ChupaChups> no way

#615253 +(1863)- [X]

<defekt> eh, some muslims just burned the swiss flag as a danish flag
<naama-> it's the thought that counts

#615496 +(2091)- [X]

<Rebbel> Man Google Earth is awesome
<Android18> Why?
<Rebbel> Im looking at my house
<Rebbel> brb, pizzas here
<BFMV> Now thats what i call technology

#615658 +(-106)- [X]

<MMCD> my friend got expelled for bringing in kim by eminem, the one where he abuses his wive and says he's gonna kill her
<Tiger> No no...in 'Kim' he murders her new boyfriend, slits the guy's 4 year old son's throat, takes Kim on a drive and chokes her to death.
<MMCD> oh yeah couldn't remember been ages since i heard it

#615836 +(139)- [X]

Sexay Prof Long: Opera 10 is going to require a resolution of 1280x1024
Sexay Prof Long: it will contain a 1280x1000 ad
Sexay Prof Long: leaving you 24 pixels of vertical space for internet browsing
Gothic: haha
Gothic: It'll open a whole new avenue for 1280x24 porn

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