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#395849 +(203)- [X]

freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang?
SmarterChild: Very long.
freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.

#395859 +(991)- [X]

<KTP> If I ever get a hot girl pregnant I'm going to hit her stomach with a shovel
<KTP> And just start yelling "NO! BAD HOT GIRL!"
<KTP> Because thats how you have to treat them
<KTP> Or else they won't learn
<ib> That's cruel.  Isn't it bad enough that she's blind?

#395862 +(384)- [X]

<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA in gold
<@||bass> it was tied this morning
<%japaneseschoolgirl> well still
<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA
<%japaneseschoolgirl> oh and USA lost in basketball
<%japaneseschoolgirl> to lithuania
<%japaneseschoolgirl> what the hell is lithuania
<@||bass> dude
<@||bass> dont sweat it
<@||bass> the olympics isnt over
<%japaneseschoolgirl> dont sweat it? USA lost in basketball.
<%japaneseschoolgirl> to LITHUANIA

#395867 +(587)- [X]

<Stryst> DSP-: You're an idiot, aren't you?
<DSP-> Stryst: only on days that end with a "y"
<Stryst> DSP-: In your world all days must end in 'y'.
<Stryst> Go away moron.

#395868 +(486)- [X]

<Navi> My mother (to brother): "If get fat enough, you can't see your weenee."
<Navi> My brother (age 8): "BUT I CAN MAKE IT BIG!"
<Navi> I lost all hope, right there.

#395881 +(236)- [X]

<WhiteHowler> When did the Swedes get so good at Track and Field?
<Cubby[history]> When someone put a keg at the end of their lane.

#395906 +(318)- [X]

<^Syke^> :'(
<nelixx> dude
<nelixx> do it on webcam

#395908 +(384)- [X]

Elinstar: Have you ever really thought about a male lifeguard?
Elinstar: Think about a hot muscular guy just TEARING YOUR SHIRT OFF in your time of need and pressing down on your chest with his hot muscular arms and forcing his tongue down your throat and blowing HIS AIR into YOUR LUNGS as he massages your chest.
Elinstar: Not that I'm gay or anything but thats basically what you're getting.
Centimetro: Wtf

#395913 +(227)- [X]

<bill> Last time christ went to church, they killed him. What makes you think he wants to return?

#395925 +(266)- [X]

aznsmilingirl: if u had an accent, what would it be?
AgentScrewball: russian
AgentScrewball: because then i'd sound pissed no matter what i say

#395969 +(511)- [X]

[Spetsnaz] My uncle taught me at age 9 how to strip and reassemble a 9mm Makarov pistol blindfolded.  God did that infuriate my mother.

#395988 +(212)- [X]

<kenlay> Roses are #FF0000
<kenlay> Violets are #0000FF
<kenlay> 01101001001000000110011001110101011000110110101101100101011001000010000001111001011011110111010101110010001000000110110101101111011011010000110100001010011000010110111001100100001000000110111001101111011101110010000001100110011011110111001000100000011110010110111101110101
<kenlay> Nerd poetry.

#396022 +(275)- [X]

<JohnPnP> Hey, porn is good. SEX CAN WAIt, MASTURBATE.
<JohnPnP> Abstinance is in the palm of your hand.

#396045 +(319)- [X]

<GOD> whats next on my list?
<GOD> ah yes
* moogle has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

#396057 +(416)- [X]

<Phre0n-Burn> I finally find out why i tear up during sex...
<Phre0n-Burn> Its the mace...

#396127 +(492)- [X]

<frenetic> guys how much would 200 mhz usually cost at a store
<frenetic> I am trying to upgrade my 800mhz to 1ghz

#396157 +(229)- [X]

SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by Reuters  
Ticker  Price  Change  Percent  Volume 
1  :-) B    26.50  +0.22   +0.84    18300
2  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
3  :-) S    38.50  +0.07   +0.18    688700
4  :-) T    14.45  +0.15   +1.05    930700
5  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
6  :-) R    43.55  +0.05   +0.11    157700
7  :-) D    64.77  +0.07   +0.11    342600

#396190 +(770)- [X]

<legola5> || Winamp is: Playing || INCOMPLETE (my)Queen - We Are The Champions3dc88b69146fd4de16c0be9fa2ddabb2002c287d00800000ac44000000b4 || 1Min 59Sec
<legola5> bet thats a bugger to sing

#396212 +(454)- [X]

<Crono> If life were a video game, level 1 would be France.

#396287 +(453)- [X]

<kennykiller> drombie, you need to up your social skills
<drombie> Clarify
<kennykiller> just because someone says they think youre funny doesnt mean they want to have sex with you :P

#396394 +(494)- [X]

ShoMonkayHe: Guess what
Maxx Stepper: you lost our virginity?
Maxx Stepper: your*

#396417 +(339)- [X]

<ronnie> i remember the first time i made love it was dark, cold and i was all by myself
<ronnie> bah wrong window damnit
<ronnie> ignore that

#396455 +(237)- [X]

<@Amon> I got this spider bite on my ass..
<@Amon> x.x It hurts
<@Xanthros> Well gee whiz. WTF were you doing to the poor spider?

#396486 +(253)- [X]

<LaPengo> .8ball Am I the hotz?
<PengoBot> <<LaPengo>> : Definitely LaPengo...
<Bison> .8ball Was that rigged?
<PengoBot> <<Bison>> : Most likely!

#396517 +(531)- [X]

<Cereal_Killer> Dude you may have been pissed, buy thats no reason to knock your sister up.
<Joeytgstk> You're just jealous because you're an only child

#396566 +(734)- [X]

<tiger_YAMATO> hey V, do u believe in karma?
<V.A.> karma? yeah
<tiger_YAMATO> really?
<V.A.> totally
<V.A.> its just like science, you know, every action has a reaction, but in this case, regardless whether its opposite or not.
<tiger_YAMATO> ok, well in that case...
V.A. was banned from the channel by tiger_YAMATO(you called me a fag yesterday).

#396663 +(1143)- [X]

tayla: lol, who's that pic of?
grrowl: mysql
grrowl: myself*

#396678 +(1032)- [X]

<freud> once i found a gummybear in my computer
<freud> opened it to change graphic card and BANG an evil red gummybear
<Lars2> how did a gummy bear end up in there?
<freud> no clue
<Deto> gummy bears will do anything to avoid getting eaten

#396917 +(1104)- [X]

<Veni_Veni_Veni> and one of my friends (almost 18) fucked a 13 year old at the party
<Veni_Veni_Veni> Which i lollerskated about
<Joe_McCormick> >_<
<Joe_McCormick> did your mate enjoy it?
<Joe_McCormick> :P
<laser-kun> You had 13 year olds at your party?
<Veni_Veni_Veni> I had two - one of my friends little brother and his friend - but they act as if they're much older. It sounds incredibly strange but they're very cool.
<Joe_McCormick> wait was the friend a girl .......?
<Veni_Veni_Veni> Yes.
<Veni_Veni_Veni> The 13 year old was the male
* Joe_McCormick bows doen to the 13 year old kid

#396994 +(373)- [X]

<mommydot> JESUS LOVES YOU
<chronarion> If Jesus loves me, why won't he return my calls?

#397002 +(901)- [X]

<splat1> ow ffs, you dl a key gen for a linux app and its a flipping win32 exe ????
<reaper> splat1: ahahaha!
<reaper> pull out vmware!
<splat1> thats what i need the key for !!!

#397005 +(222)- [X]

WhatWasThat13: the medal listing for the Czech Republic: 1337 (1 gold 3 silver 3 brionze 7 total)

#397066 +(394)- [X]

<Lich> I don't have a superiority complex. I'm jsut better than all of you.
<Lich> *just
<Lich> Shut up.

#397086 +(226)- [X]

<Ferd|inking> what the heck is a Chaotic Slacker?
<Seritaph> I'd tell you, but I lost my notes.

#397110 +(1220)- [X]

<Nyschashi-Seikun> i ate at black anus, there meat is so shitty
<Nyschashi-Seikun> *angus

#397130 +(673)- [X]

<chikA> wanna cyber
<22hgsinnet> k one sec
*22hgsinnet puts on gloves
<chikA> wtf?
<22hgsinnet> dont want you getting pregnant now do we

#397151 +(209)- [X]

<psychonate> A Mac is like a prostitute.
<psychonate> Sure they look good, but your wallet will feel a lot lighter after getting one.

#397370 +(1109)- [X]

slackerdann: hahahaha
slackerdann: my sister is so dumb
slackerdann: she got pissed off at me
slackerdann: then came over and pulled out the power cable for the laptop
slackerdann: and i was just like "it has a battery you know"
slackerdann: and then she was just like "oh"

#397427 +(1298)- [X]

<Chronoclone> Kathleen is on the riding mower and accidentally sucks up my sheet.
<Chronoclone> My dad and I tip over the mower and rip the sheet out.
<Chronoclone> While she's out chasing the dog because she said we could trust him without a leash.
<Chronoclone> My dad agrees that she's crazy and shouldn't have been right there with the damn mower.
<Wiggles> How is this person still alive?
<Aki> The FBI is keeping her alive to harness Darwin's in-grave rotation as a power source for future generations.

#397444 +(813)- [X]

<andy> i will commit suicide or die trying

#397480 +(222)- [X]

* DarkDraconis is the enema. o.o
<DarkDraconis> Err, enemy. c.c

#397491 +(379)- [X]

BUMKEI: wanna go to the republican national convention
sKratch: pony it
BUMKEI: assassinate bush
sKratch: fbi gonna get you
BUMKEI: ill just hand him a bag of pretzels

#397568 +(258)- [X]

* Devil steals The_Pope's hat
<The_Pope> give it back bitch.
<Devil> wheee
<The_Pope> Wanna go?

#397655 +(209)- [X]

johnlnames : Manny... do you know any places to get free music?
mannyfresh2 : the internet.

#397658 +(933)- [X]

<avalon> can I touch you now?
<Nala> I still don't know you
-!- avalon is now known as dad
<dad> how about now?

#397664 +(640)- [X]

<+Alpha> let's all /msg cky at the same time
<@cky> lol
<@cky> Garick pm'ed me
<@cky> <Garick> at the same time

#397681 +(497)- [X]

<Dorfl> I'm not Canadian, I'm just drunk.

#397704 +(852)- [X]

lemonlimeskull: I want a tattoo.
lemonlimeskull: Right on my back
lemonlimeskull: of Eyespots like butterflies have
lemonlimeskull: To throw off predators.

#397707 +(406)- [X]

<Azr> fuck you im cerfectly poherent

#397766 +(503)- [X]

HDF_Red wakes up
<HDF_Red> my mom taste funny ;_;
<HDF_Red> oh man
<Lord-Lard-Arse> OMG :x
<HDF_Red> typo city

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