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#393209 +(995)- [X]

<Matrix_McCloud> i can't imagine sticking anything in your mouth farther than like 4 inches
<Matrix_McCloud> without puking
<Oolong> you have to do it a certain way
<Oolong> if you line your throat up right it just slides in
<Oolong> or if his schlong is bent downwars
<Matrix_McCloud> then if it touches the edge, your nose lights up red and beeps

#393229 +(141)- [X]

<JonTG> What's more fun than swinging a dead baby around on a rope?
<JonTG> Stopping it with a shovel.

#393241 +(579)- [X]

<Matt-san> Over the hill women have experience. :)
<Kataclysm> And saggy boobz
<Matt-san> They flop back and forth like mudflaps.
<Kataclysm> Thank you for the lovely visual, Matt.
<Raiden> Its like when you go to the nursing home
<Raiden> and say "SHOW ME YOUR TITS"
<Kataclysm> I'm going to kill you now. Please don't take it personal.
<Raiden> and they take off their pants

#393304 +(947)- [X]

[2nd_law_of_thermodynamics] why are the vaginas always blurred out in hentai?
[dsgasdsa] vaginas can bend light
[dsgasdsa] 'the black hole'
[2nd_law_of_thermodynamics] they must do it just to piss me off
[dsgasdsa] it's because you should be focusing on their personality
[dsgasdsa] shallow cunt

#393323 +(128)- [X]

<Obiwan> Koreans are kicking ass at men's all around gymnastics...
<Obiwan> ....don't ask why I'm watching men's gymnastics....
<Nimdae> you like their tight asses
<Obiwan> well they don't show ass that much
<Obiwan> their pants are too loose
<Obiwan> sigh
<Obiwan> actually I turned it on and I saw a korean.
<Nimdae> you just proved you are watching their asses

#393357 +(384)- [X]

<Jetsuo> Ew, Ashlee Simpson is #1 on the Billboards. Jetsuo must go kill a kitten now.
<KitBoxPocket> Jetsuo: every time you kill a kitten, God masturbates.
<Jetsuo> lmao
<KitBoxPocket> You dont want God flogging his holy log, do you?
<Nyschashi-Seikun> when god ejaculates, it snows
<KitBoxPocket> Oh, snow day, sweet
<Jetsuo> and when God craps?
<KitBoxPocket> A republican is elected
<Jetsuo> XD
<KitBoxPocket> "Mommy! Mommy! Every time a Republican gets elected, it means God just had a really great shit!'

#393451 +(436)- [X]

* elisteran subscribes seriumu to spamlists
<elisteran> would you rather get nigerian 419 scams, or hawt lesbian pr0n ?
<Pavel> elisteran: As if the two were mutually exclusive.
<elisteran> Dear Mr. Smith, my name is Motoba Kwambe, and I am legal counsel representing the family of the late Prime Minister of Nigeria, Bouncy Bubbles. Her nude coed widow has the opportunity to retrieve $15 million stashed away in a bank account, but needs a US citizen to ...
<Pavel> elisteran: That works.

#393507 +(41)- [X]

<neekohh> eh, where should i go?
<tzigaite> gamespot by target might give you more
<neekohh> gamespot is that place near target right

#393554 +(1769)- [X]

<watashi-wa>necrophilia is dead boring
<chersucks> wtf?!?
<watashi-wa>try incest instead
<watashi-wa>it's only relatively boring :p

#393563 +(-331)- [X]

<JoeDawson> "Tour De France Winner Lance Armstrong was stripped of his title after 3 substances banned by the french were found in his hotel room"
<KloA> haha
<JoeDawson> The three banned substances... Deoderant, Toothepaste, and soap.
<JoeDawson> *rimshot*
<JoeDawson> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
* JoeDawson TEH FUNNAY

#393574 +(773)- [X]

[sides] the other day my aunt and cousins were over my house for the night and them and my family were in the living room
[sides] some how we started talking about pamela anderson. my sister was like "well it's not like she's in porn or anything"
[sides] and they were all arguing over if she's in porn or not.
[sides] I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying to fix my dad's computer, which is in the same room. but I heard them talking about porn so I listened up
[sides] and when my sister said "no she's never been in a real porn or anything"
[sides] I spoke up and said "oh yes she has!"
[sides] everyone looks at me funny and I hadn't realized what I did wrong yet and my dad's like "how do you know that?"
[sides] so I just got up and went upstairs.

#393623 +(29)- [X]

<[foreel]Torisutamu> Warning!
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Warning: The following commercial may not be suited for young children.
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Tired of watching college girls run around like morons and take off their clothes?
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Of course you're not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Tired of those same old girls at those same beaches? We thought not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Fucker beat me to it

#393641 +(422)- [X]

isotec: so my dad decides to be nice and put a chocolate on top of my LCD monitor (its one of thoes ones with booze in it
isotec: so i come by l8r and im like cool
isotec: i pick it up as as i do so it starts to drip on the top of the monitor and some booze leaks out
isotec: im thinking well that was totaly smart dad now i have whisky or somthing and chocolate oozing around up there
isotec: but im like hey cant let that chocolate go to waste
isotec: i start to lick up the tasty mess and when im in mid lick my dad walks in and is like "Jesus son, i know you many like your computer but this is just rediculous!"

#393703 +(517)- [X]

<EvolvEarth> /nickserv identify iloveanal
<EvolvEarth> FUCK
<kupo> How did you know my password?!

#393714 +(360)- [X]

310||slackerr: man, they shut off the water in our building
310||slackerr: its gonna be off the entire day
510||joey: that SUCKS@
310||slackerr: the worst part is that i took a shit before i knew it was off

#393802 +(322)- [X]

<_blackcat> in the bash how do I get it so that it will show the all the dirs in a different color?
<octalpuss> i believe that's the --gay option

#393812 +(1058)- [X]

<tegu> WANNA PLAY IRC TIC TAC TOE?
<tegu> 1 2 3
<slip> K
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7
<tegu> erm
<slip> LOL
<tegu> 1 2 3
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7 8 9
<tegu> you go first
<slip> 1
<tegu> 5
<tegu> UR TURN
<slip> 4
<tegu> 7
<slip> 3
<tegu> 2
<slip> 9
<tegu> 8 gg
<slip> gg

#393869 +(427)- [X]

<imanz> sorry about my server il get it up
* absynthe wonders where she's heard THAT before...

#393904 +(129)- [X]

<D1> ugh
<D1> they put me on lithium!
<sorbix> did they perscribe you batteries
<D1> not yet.
<D1> but who knows what they'll give me next time.

#394101 +(609)- [X]

<Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come with fries?
<kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine.
<Foenix> I just want no lettuce.
* GeekRyuu (Ryuu@12.5.124.207) has joined #subcafe
<GeekRyuu> Hi!
<GeekRyuu> How is every little thing?
<Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.

#394279 +(-41)- [X]

(long conversation about a problem goes here)
<Yttak> So, what you want me to do now ? It still doesnt work !!!
<TheMTZ> ok - i got the ultimate solution for you now - it will solve it 100 pct.
<Yttak> Cool, tell me !
<TheMTZ> Unplug all the cords, put the PC back into the box and bring it back to where you bought it.
<Yttak> You mean its broken ? What should i tell them when they ask ?
<TheMTZ> Tell them you are too god damn stupid to own a computer and get the money back.
* Quits: Yttak (Yttak@xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx)

#394302 +(20)- [X]

Ross81: my fingers smell like pussy for some reason
Battlepoet: uh
Ross81: I wonder if mcdonalds has added different spices to their friends and mcnuggets
Battlepoet: o.0
Ross81: fries rather
Battlepoet: good thing I've got wendy's coming instead

#394480 +(1134)- [X]

<@NeoMinder> Hey cloud! Get off my you!
<nightrunner> You ate paint chips as a kid, didn't you?
<@NeoMinder> you mean wall candy?

#394892 +(917)- [X]

* Quits: FuTar0 (Quit: and /part were sitting in a tree and /part fell off, who was left?)

#394935 +(493)- [X]

<ThaNoise> you know i saw something funny last night. an asian guy wearing a jerry rice jersey. was it wrong of me to laugh at an asian persion with "RICE" printed on the back of his shirt?

#395195 +(796)- [X]

<_dk-> I just grabbed a couple pretzels and sat down at the computer... I bit in to one and realized that not only was it stale, but I wasn't really all that hungry to begin with. But I was too lazy to get up and toss them in the trash, so I ate them anyway... I wonder just how many of the Seven Deadly Sins that qualifies me for...

#395262 +(658)- [X]

krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire countries. A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an unfortunate error in translation.

#395507 +(145)- [X]

<chewy> has anybody an idea where to get torrents of german simpsons episodes?
<Whacko> germany

#395527 +(591)- [X]

<Revolution_Man> I want to be launched out of my coffin at my funeral.
<RandomMan> hahah
<Inferno> Liar.
<Revolution_Man> With a tape recording attached to the body saying "I'M STILL ALIVE, CATCH ME!"

#395528 +(563)- [X]

(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN
(@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu
?? quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet) (Read error: EOF from client)

#395577 +(169)- [X]

Iridium24: well my lady friend seemed excited to get my number so we'll see
DogmaticLaw99: lol
DogmaticLaw99: see what she looks like when youre sober
Iridium24: i was DD friday night
DogmaticLaw99: ahh
Iridium24: but i totally know what you mean
Iridium24: a year ago feb when i had just turned 21
Iridium24: omg i dont know what the fuck i was thinking
Iridium24: she had this GIANT birth mark across her face
DogmaticLaw99: lol
Iridium24: i didnt notice until i called her up the next day and i picked her up for a date
Iridium24: i almost went "holy shit what happened to your face!"
Iridium24: and then i saw some pictures and she has clearly had it all her life
Iridium24: i was like omg, how many drinks did i have last night!
DogmaticLaw99: thats sad bro
Iridium24: In conclusion i go to dance clubs sober now

#395596 +(847)- [X]

<Beta> WTF is an Acronym ?
<Zethy> yes it is...

#395602 +(289)- [X]

<Kingsford> who is Psytrox?
<Turori> rejis's date
<Kingsford> an IRC date?
<Cockbill_Street> right
<Kingsford> you guys should go to #movies
<Kingsford> and then, out to #dinner
<Kingsford> and later, #backseatofthecar
<Rejistania> Are you implying that I should get a life?
<Cockbill_Street> you've found that out on your own. ;)

#395607 +(402)- [X]

DaLady Firestorm: and drinking my tea
Laketh 69: teabag?
DaLady Firestorm: I like tea
DaLady Firestorm: and yes, there is a tea bag in my drink right now
Laketh 69: lol
DaLady Firestorm: why do you ask
Laketh 69: .......
Laketh 69: teabag ;(
DaLady Firestorm: do I want to know
DaLady Firestorm: what's the fixation with teabag
Laketh 69: is when you stick your balls into a girls mouth
DaLady Firestorm: did you have a pet tebag...
DaLady Firestorm: ...ah...
DaLady Firestorm: okay, that explains it
DaLady Firestorm: ew...
Laketh 69: duh
Laketh 69: and u like teabags
DaLady Firestorm: I like tea
DaLady Firestorm: not the bags
DaLady Firestorm: or sacs
DaLady Firestorm: or whatever
Laketh 69: the bags make the tea
DaLady Firestorm: I like what comes out of the tea bags
DaLady Firestorm: oh, wait a second

#395623 +(274)- [X]

<Kanako> That's right kids. Unlike most of the Linux solutions out there, Cinelerra requires no emulation of proprietary operating systems, no commercial add-ons, no banner advertizements, no corporate dependancies, no terrorists, just pure, raw, hot blooded Linux boxes.
<Kanako> ^--- It does, however, require walking through hell, fighting Satan himself, and saving the princess in the other room.
<Neo1337> Just to find out the princess is in another castle...

#395624 +(386)- [X]

<mowgli> Nicolai why are your faces allways backwards?
<Nicolai> what? ._o
<Mertek> He's european. It seems like everyone I've ever met from Europe has used backwards smileys.
<Mertek> There's no other way to do D: though.
<mowgli> : D
<Spazmo> :D != D:
<Spazmo> I got laid :D She had herpes D:

#395631 +(148)- [X]

omg omg wtf n00b: y'know what's hilarious?
omg omg wtf n00b: when people boast about what they do on the internet
omg omg wtf n00b: "omg im so drunk right now i had like 20 captain morgans"
omg omg wtf n00b: and "omg im gonna get laid tonight its gonna be amazing"
Americandude23: yeah.  thats why i dont use irc.

#395648 +(219)- [X]

IAmOsomo4000: now who is stupid or non intellegeint now

#395652 +(179)- [X]

DClick: I don't want your goddamn penis pills! I don't even have a penis!

#395656 +(270)- [X]

* nickname has joined #mp3friendschat
<nickname>  word
<+bobbbit10>  excel?
<+Davman>  rofl

#395657 +(596)- [X]

<Syberia> FUCK i'm dead
<Syberia> i was flirting with this 15 y/o chick i met on halo
<Syberia> she went to use the little girls' room
<Syberia> her 11 y/o sis walked in and saw what she was doing
<Syberia> got her mom, who read the whole MSN convo
<Syberia> she starts talking to me, telling me her daughter's only 12
<Syberia> you'd think she'd get pissed at her daughter but no, now someone's mom who i don't even know in ohio now knows my phone # and thinks i'm a pedophile
<SirChris> dude, chicks don't play halo

#395661 +(288)- [X]

<Sheena> me = ho
<Sheena> t
<Sheena> OMg...worse typo ever

#395664 +(291)- [X]

<Spydie> ive been playing games too much, when i close my eyes i see gun fights
<NuGgEt|mIRC> i see naked men

#395670 +(209)- [X]

<FrozenBeefLog> hey lets all make sexual symbols
<Slicey> 8==e
<FrozenBeefLog> 8======*
<FrozenBeefLog> hah mines bigger
<Slicey> yours has an exploded end

#395677 +(618)- [X]

<InuYasha> I have no friends
<InuYasha> FINE
<InuYasha> SCREW YOU GUYS
<-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?)
<Urch> I give him a minute
<Urch> 3
<Urch> 2
<Urch> 1
--> InuYasha (thegreg@dm-33299.kc.rr.com) has joined #bobandgeorge
<InuYasha> I forgot my wallet
* InuYasha grabs it
<-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?)

#395683 +(164)- [X]

TransCanadaTrail: they keep refering to this asl character
J: dont make me reach through the computer and slap you >_<

#395803 +(186)- [X]

<weasel> she likes it when you touch her feet
<Zoidy> Im not touching no ones feet
<Zoidy> only my own
* jessica is now known as my_own
<my_own> touch me baby
<my_own> oooh yeah....

#395828 +(482)- [X]

<pL|DarKobra> oO_
<pL|Kala-Raksha> OMG A MUTANT!

#395834 +(232)- [X]

<Syzygy> My cock needed some fresh air
Vlad OH
Vlad that reminds me....
Vlad brb

#395843 +(261)- [X]

<Saiyanfire> THINK ABOUT IT
<Saiyanfire> NORMAL PPL DONT GET OFF TO TOON FU*KING
<Nexus> u might be right......i'll stick to dragons...
<[256][FIN]HorribleGoat> WE'RE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE
<[256][FIN]HorribleGoat> now where did that horse go...


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