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#2887 +(522)- [X]

<McMoo> those presents are wrapped like motherfuckers.
<McMoo> like very thoroughly wrapped motherfuckers.

#2888 +(428)- [X]

<AnGeLFiRe> go screw a dog
<Pharaohe> come over to my house then babe

#2889 +(729)- [X]

<Berzerker> Life is hard.
<Berzerker> unfortunately, you arent.
<Berzerker> call the national impotency hotline. 1-800-GET-BONE

#2892 +(97)- [X]

<FLoBBaSKo> That'd be cool if there was a hermaphrodite that had their dick coming out of their vagina... they wouldn't be able to walk without having an orgasm.

#2893 +(593)- [X]

<Berzerker> i shit too big
<Berzerker> i clog up the toilet without using toilet paper
<Berzerker> my parents think i use too much
<Berzerker> and im starting to get in trouble for doing it
<Berzerker> i dont wanna tell them "i shit big, sorry"

#2895 +(372)- [X]

<blazemore> RZR033DCC IS OFFERING VIRUSES INFECTED WITH WAREZ

#2897 +(-27)- [X]

<Pyre> Gumby's mom is hot

#2898 +(78)- [X]

<XxDeThxX> thats what the sperm whales do..they check out the females then all the males rub against eachother til they spooge

#2899 +(381)- [X]

*** hypr changes topic to '.'
<LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of month.

#2902 +(66)- [X]

<k> hm yes i believe to say d0f would be the correct way out of this interpretation situilimintation

#2903 +(0)- [X]

<Berzerk0r> eD farted and it smelt like bvaD

#2904 +(727)- [X]

<Berzerker> they gave christopher reaves a standing ovation
<Berzerker> and like
<Berzerker> he cant even stand up
<Berzerker> so hes like
<Berzerker> wtf

#2905 +(366)- [X]

<BRASIL> IN MY COUNTRY TOO HOT TO GO OUTSIDE
<BRASIL> SO I SURF NET INSTEAD

#2906 +(259)- [X]

<EFX> take a banana .. cut off the top .. squeeze the banana out gently keeping the peel intact.. get a empty toilet paper roll .. put the peel inside of it .. warm it up in the microwave .. and then stick your cock in it

#2907 +(337)- [X]

<Berzerker> hey
<Berzerker> you hear about the new game they play at the white house?
<Berzerker> swallow the leader.

#2908 +(354)- [X]

<DEMI1999> ed's hit an all time high of un-understandability
<DEMI1999> <eDz0ph_gb> d0f eye ,ent n0am

#2909 +(67)- [X]

<blazemore> i saw a big crack in front of me, then this flash of light.. after that, i can't remember anything.

#2910 +(92)- [X]

<Berzerker> like one time i shit on a bench in my school playground 
<Berzerker> and like it smelt so bad 
<Berzerker> and i covered it with playground gravel 
<Berzerker> and like when the cafeteria aid came the next day she cleared it off with her hand 
<Berzerker> and like 
<Berzerker> poop!

#2911 +(944)- [X]

* Berzerker gets hungry 
* Berzerker eats his e's 
*** Berzerker is now known as Brzrkr

#2912 +(493)- [X]

<IceWizard> What the HELL is up with these candy companies? Little teeny bars are called 'Fun Size'.. Damn, Whats so fun about a smaller candybar?!?

#2913 +(206)- [X]

<Berzerker> what are you goign to pick? 
<ding> HAWT PAWKETS

#2915 +(380)- [X]

<EFX> What's a dikfor?

#2916 +(1027)- [X]

<{SaTaN}> GOD DAMN IT SUN OF A BITCH STOP CALLING ME SANTA IT IS "SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
<DaRkShaMe> hi santa

#2921 +(482)- [X]

(Fungus): idler, define " life " please :)
(Idler): Fungus: Life is the thing that grows in my fridge
(Idler): Starting to get really big now
(Idler): Might have to kill it some day
(NX): did u try to eat it?
(Idler): NX: No, that's what I should have done a long time ago

#2922 +(59)- [X]

<Snag> on another note
<Snag> you know any fake tan shit i can buy?
<eldee> fake tan shit?
<eldee> wtf?
<Snag> ya
<Snag> i have supah white arms
<eldee> go to a tanning booth, give the bitch 5 bux and stick your arm in the pipe dude

#2923 +(431)- [X]

<michael-> shut up
<michael-> i sucked a lot of cock to get where i am today
<kisama> heh
<kisama> at least you got to suck cock and not be ass raped like the rest of us

#2925 +(376)- [X]

<Slant> evenpar123: What's up dog, word?
<evenpar123> dog?
<evenpar123> That's my slave name.  My new name is "dogg"

#2927 +(269)- [X]

<CmnstR> so i calls it ScRnr?
<Lord-Data> CmnstR: you call it a screener
<Lord-Data> the only reason you would type ScRnr would be if your e key wasnt working

#2928 +(468)- [X]

<Kazz> Everybody kept screeching "DON'T DO IT LOOK AT ALL YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE FOR" and he was like "no im gona do it" and I said "How?" and he said "Knife through the heart" and I was like "Wicked.  Send pics."
<Sharkey> My favorite one was back in #verge years ago. Finally after I ribbed her for about an hour she said that she'd slashed her wrists because of me. I asked her if she was typing with her tongue.
<Kazz> I suggested he fall on a chainsaw.  He liked the messiness.

#2929 +(558)- [X]

<neck> btw... bought an ice cream maker today :)
<qu4ntum> dont you mean a donut maker ?
<Lord-Data> very easy to get those confused ..
<neck> oh hell yeah
<neck> oh crap... it was a donut maker

#2930 +(486)- [X]

<Muskratt> How can people like you guys survive infancy without bursting into flames from some major god (I don't care who) 's anger?
<MightyQuinn> easy
<MightyQuinn> we carry fire extinguishers

#2931 +(280)- [X]

<profuse> its rather good, this is the first of anything of his that ive listened to
<profuse> heh im talkinglike im british or some shit
<al-x> hey
<al-x> americans say "rather" too
<al-x> except they say "i'd rather have a big slow car that's flashy than a car that isn't flashy but runs better"

#2933 +(116)- [X]

<eldee> welp, i got some coding to do.. smell ya later
<eldee> Aimee: for you that's a literal statement

#2934 +(1698)- [X]

<Potato> I've known her for years and I've always wanted to fuck her.
<Potato> But her last boyfriend was a 6 foot 7 black man.
<Potato> So I just don't try.
<Potato> I'm above average, but he was a giant black man.
<Potato> I mean, c'mon.
<Potato> He was like Godzilla, but black.  Like Shaftzilla.
<memo> Did he smash Japanese skyscrapers with his dong?
<Potato> Yes.
<Potato> Yes he did.

#2935 +(447)- [X]

<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny

#2937 +(325)- [X]

<exbawx> $465 in debt. good luck to me.
<novocain> its yer own damn fault that 1. you work at taco bell 2. that you only work 4 hours a week

#2938 +(769)- [X]

<BlackDeth> man this sucks
<BlackDeth> why is it that all drugs make you lazy and useless
<BlackDeth> they should invent one that motivates you to do homework and shit

#2940 +(529)- [X]

<T_hibiki_> you catch your lady in bed with another man what do you do ?
<sparatik> tell him she has an STD

#2941 +(261)- [X]

<BlackDeth> the only effect cocaine really has is it makes you want more cocaine :D

#2942 +(340)- [X]

*** Now talking in #cars
*** Topic is 'No gay sex talk please thanks'
<spazzer> no gay sex talk eh?
<spazzer> this channel is going to be quiet then

#2949 +(283)- [X]

<al-x> pam anderson had implants
<al-x> had them taken out
<al-x> just had them put back in
<al-x> she proly has zippers
<al-x> under her arms
<al-x> or somethign

#2952 +(283)- [X]

<nstylz> i want to make a site that the people run it and then just forget about it and watch the $ go in
<Deadbolt> sorry, we already have a slashdot

#2954 +(278)- [X]

<dregan> EGADS THE PAIN
<dregan> THE BITING, GNAWING PAIN
<dregan> THE SEARING, UNENDING.. UN.. mmm..

#2955 +(52)- [X]

<trccccc> I was going down on this one girl once.... and her clit was the size of my pinkie... I was all DAMN and exscused myself and went back down to the party

#2956 +(306)- [X]

<blazemore> my chair is starting to smell bad from me farting in it so much
<blazemore> either that or it's the underwear i've been wearing for 4 days

#2957 +(231)- [X]

<trccccc> virus: go fuck a leprocohn
<brucel33t> I bet they give good head
<trccccc> maybe he will give you his bag of gold
<Reul> or what's in his sack

#2958 +(311)- [X]

<datz510> u prolly race grandmas goin tot he grocery store too huh
<BenK> no
<BenK> I race hardcore racers
<BenK> people with tinted windows
<BenK> and 20 inch rims
<datz510> Ben.. like other hondas?

#2959 +(804)- [X]

<Entomorph> blazemore, I know you
<Entomorph> oldskewl emu guy right?
<blazemore> heh yeah
<Apoc> irc is just wierd
<Apoc> no where else can you run into old friends that you have never met

#2960 +(645)- [X]

<waterfire> All women are gay, or at least that's what they tell me

#2962 +(295)- [X]

[jstepka-w] it's not gay, there are several key nerve endings in your prostate


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