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#242712 +(953)- [X]

<soink> and im not that fat
<soink> cameras add like 48 pounds
<SteelStud> Well, you must have used 5 cameras on that picture.

#242746 +(658)- [X]

<Petter>It's a bug
<X-Winger2>I refuse to believe XP has any bugs ;P
<X-Winger2>well
<X-Winger2>Except it won't let me see my hard drive right now

#242755 +(1652)- [X]

<jshock221> a freudian slip is when you say one thing but you're really thinking about a mother.

#242813 +(413)- [X]

<Raymondo> I'm a lot funnier in real life.
<Megatron5000> that doesn't matter here
<Raymondo> I'm just pointing out I don't suck 24/7
<PrzeCM03|04> who cares what's your sucking timetable

#242829 +(824)- [X]

<isurx> vinyl as in a record right?
<babo> Yes.
<ami_> as in 12 inches of black joy
<N8> like... never mind

#243000 +(1787)- [X]

<shaqzilla> I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

#243065 +(472)- [X]

<noam`wm> I was studying Physics, right. Magnetic fields. There was a drawing in the book to demonstrate how the direction of the field is always orthogonal to the direction of the force. to do that, they drew a dot, 4 vectors of field and 4 directions of force, orthogonal to them.
<noam`wm> I painted the background in red and added SIEG HEIL.

#243112 +(337)- [X]

[skorpion] gravity is a resource hog.

#243237 +(801)- [X]

<CharoNoMe> Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

#243238 +(1171)- [X]

<CharoNoMe> Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

#243279 +(323)- [X]

<Hamhocks> if taking a huge shit is anything like playing chess, consider me the next gary kasparov
<WallOfInsanity> then I shall be deep blue and defeat you with my efficient machine-like bowel movements.

#243317 +(429)- [X]

--> trillback (~trillian@psu-1DF9C42E.nyc1-4.15.204.215.nyc1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net) has joined #ps-universe
<-- trillback (~trillian@psu-1DF9C42E.nyc1-4.15.204.215.nyc1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net) has left #ps-universe
(Repeat about 15 times)
<Ioshua> +ban trillback plz. I only like this much in and out if it involves my woman.
<Ioshua> or, at least, a friendly looking sock.

#243335 +(667)- [X]

<spectre> a girl called me 'sensitive' last night
<spectre> too bad she was fat

#243336 +(275)- [X]

<spectre> hypno: did you see what braingrind wrote in the front of the book ?
<spectre> "Yo Fran. I liked this book. I pissed myself. You should like it too. If you don't, I can only assume you suck. Shizzle. Braingrind"
<bluecgi> haha what he wrote is like his account of a normal day
<bluecgi> he wakes up, says something, soils himself, emotes, soils himself again

#243374 +(1405)- [X]

<Pablissimo> You wish that your customer part know more thing on the others players or on your very new entity faggot of data? Are the server->client messages to you of aucuns help (too much heavy to manage since all the customers must have access to these values with each frame)? You feel that the file delta.lst could be useful but include/understand you nothing there?
<Pablissimo> can someome make that make sense in english, babelfish is clearly underperforming here
<Pablissimo> for instance, the word 'faggot' was a surprise

#243405 +(1089)- [X]

<BlacKcaT>  So my computer is sweet. It's right next to my bed, so i can just pull over my keyboard and my mouse, since it's optical, and it'll all work and I'm nice and comfy lying down on my bed.
<Benig> So my laptop...
<BlacKcaT> Fuck you.

#243438 +(685)- [X]

--> Rocksteady (Rocksteady@unerror-loony-1F0134CC.dorm.depaul.edu) has joined #lobby
<Rocksteady> quick i need a funny way to wake up a roomate that doesn't involve sex or feces

#243446 +(1222)- [X]

<Nick> man dod is the fucking shit
<sporkchop> i wonder if you could fuck shit....
<sporkchop> it would be all soft and warm and squishy
<Nick> lol
<sporkchop>hmmm
<sporkchop> brb
* sporkchop is away - bathroom
<Nick> oh jesus no

#243460 +(260)- [X]

<TheMaker> I finally made aop on dalnet!
<G13> was this yer entire life's struggle?
<TheMaker> yes
<TheMaker> since 1996
<G13> you are a sad, sad man

#243485 +(255)- [X]

* Huroya shoots Flak
* Flak catches the bullet with his teeth
<Huroya> By "catch" I think you mean it shatters your jaw and puts a hole the size of a baseball through the back of your skull.

#243500 +(805)- [X]

<Pesmerga> man, im starting to think that the more I take showers, the more i stink afterwards. so Im just gonna stop showering and see if it helps.
* AnArKi has left the channel
* BoZo has left the channel
* HeyPetray has left the channel

#243518 +(1471)- [X]

<Epoch71> you know, for some reason, this reminds me... the other day i was playing ping pong and thought, "damn, this'd make a great video game... i wonder if it's been done yet"
<Epoch71> god i felt stupid 5 seconds later

#243693 +(242)- [X]

<Chrisodeo> In Soviet Russia... the jokes tell you!
<CrazySteve> Am I the only one bothered by the fact that there is now no longer a Soviet Russia?
--- ChanServ sets ban on *!*paradym14@pcp02481451pcs.spedwy01.in.comcast.net
<-- ChanServ has kicked Chrisodeo from #jack (Gunned down by the russian mafia.)
<CrazySteve> I guess not.

#243706 +(800)- [X]

MelancholicKiss: say something profound
MaximumTool007: Old people should be put down at birth.
MelancholicKiss: why do i even bother

#243709 +(432)- [X]

<FujiLi> my wiener reminds me of a lightsaber.
<Terron> FujiLi: its green?

#243738 +(277)- [X]

Seth: its sad when Perl is the closest thing to a girl in your life

#243745 +(964)- [X]

<Swenja> If you handed people a box that said "Danger! Crotch-eating crickets inside! Do not shake! Do not open!"
<Swenja> ....ten minutes later, there'd be screaming and chirping, and crickets all over the place...

#244052 +(89)- [X]

<@Phil21> juniper calls back saying they have m7i for "only" $15k
<@Phil21> fuckers
<*comstud> *looks in his wallet*
<*comstud> damn, $10 short.

#244091 +(407)- [X]

<Fury> dude! The power just went out in the house and all over the city.
<Fury> everything is off =X
<Fury> fuck its so dark. this fucking sucks.
<Angelic[X]> Why are you still here?
    quit: (Fury) (siren@2c4e124f.19108886.cable.ntl.com) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#244131 +(386)- [X]

<andrewg> eps will make you drop the soap on command
<andrewg> AND
<andrewg> insert a tracking device
<djrand>  good god
<djrand>  i think thats enough
<@epic_>  lol
<epic_>   Did we make you blush rand?
<epic_>   your virgin ears.
<djrand>  indeed
<epic_>   should put comdoms on them..   wont catch hearing aids.

#244140 +(359)- [X]

<Eugene> Packets: Sent = 1000, Received = 455, Lost = 545 (54% loss)
<Eugene> Minimum = 315ms, Maximum = 1127ms, Average = 592ms
<Eugene> geez, I don't even think this even counts as the internet anymore.
<Eugene> I can probably get better responses with two tin cans and a piece of string.

#244161 +(582)- [X]

shopgirl6665: installing flash...soon my website will be the coolest ever
shopgirl6665: hmmm...there appears to be somewhat of a learning curve...

#244180 +(1446)- [X]

<Langly1> Bash.org is like an IQ test, All those who get on it have low IQ's
<Langly1> and if anyone submits that quote ill track them down and kill them

#244273 +(468)- [X]

<Xenocide> what are those things called....
<Xenocide> y'know, they leik deposite ink.. onto cds
<Xenocide> WTF ARE THEY CALLED
<Xenocide> arrgh
<Nd> Pens

#244275 +(1370)- [X]

<+Velcant> My dad just wandered off to buy 50 meters of wireless LAN cable. Good luck to him.

#244306 +(1101)- [X]

<MichaelBolton> okay, my ADD has officially gotten out of control
<MichaelBolton> i just tried to go to the bathroom, but i ended up shaving, washing my face, taking a short shower, putting in fresh toilet paper, and taking out the trash. so now i'm back here, and i still have to pee.

#244314 +(747)- [X]

<Lord_Nuke> Blegh, today was annoying
<Lord_Nuke> Some people I wonder how they remember to get dressed mornings
<l33t-mercury> how so?
<Lord_Nuke> Well, as you know, I work at the Best Buy Rebate Center
<Lord_Nuke> So a woman calls in, she got a letter declining her rebate request for invalid receipt
<Lord_Nuke> it turns out she bought her computer at Comp-Usa, and then went on bestbuy.com and printed off a rebate form
<Lord_Nuke> And she wonders why she didn't get her rebate
<l33t-mercury> OMG! Rofl!
<Lord_Nuke> Yeah, well, its still better than the fool who forgets to mail it in at all
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to check on my rebate. I've been waiting 6 months"
<Lord_Nuke> Me: "Well, do you have a copy of your rebate form with you?"
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yeah, let me open my envelope here, I have the rebate form."
<Lord_Nuke> Me: "Wait, wait. You have the envelope there? As in you didn't mail it?"
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yeah, it's right here. Can you tell me what's taking so long?"
<l33t-mercury> lol
<Lord_Nuke> Me: "Just let me confirm this: You didn't mail it in, and you want to know what's taking so long?"
<Lord_Nuke> Customer: "Yes, that's correct..... oh. Shit." *click*
<l33t-mercury> haha

#244321 +(39264)- [X]

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

#244367 +(1221)- [X]

<@Nosferatu> Sensitive men do exist...
<@Nosferatu> A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up
<@Nosferatu> leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his
<@Nosferatu> bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of
<@Nosferatu> cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly
<@Nosferatu> medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on
<@Nosferatu> the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would
<@Nosferatu> have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but
<@Nosferatu> she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by
<@Nosferatu> his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each
<@Nosferatu> other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
<@Nosferatu> After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying
<@Nosferatu> there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks,
<@Nosferatu> smiling, "Well, how was it?"
<@Nosferatu> The guy says:
<@Nosferatu> "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

#244385 +(479)- [X]

<Lifeforce> way to make your kids afraid that you'll catch them looking at porn- if you do, start beating off next to them without explanation or even talking.
<Seppel> LF is gonna be divorced fast.

#244430 +(1043)- [X]

<analog> hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock
<analog> the clock struck one, and the other two escaped with minor injuries.

#244437 +(1473)- [X]

<sweendOGgRH07> One year Dad decided he was going to take us on a "surprise vacation." We wouldn't know where we were going until we got there. We were all real excited when we piled into the station wagon early one morning. We went about five blocks, then we got in an accident at a four-way stop. I guess it was a pretty good surprise, but why did we need all that camping gear?
<gamgames> hahaha
<sweendOGgRH07> I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" Rock, leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why,because paper can't beat anybody a rock would tear that shit up in about 2 seconds.
<sweendOGgRH07> When I play rock/paper/scissors I always choose rock.Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say Oh shit, I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you Asshole

#244545 +(2242)- [X]

<Slimjim`> My parents caught me masturbating one day, and responded with making me a cake to celebrate my ascent into manhood. At the time I should have been "what the holy bejesusing fuck" but instead I was like "hey, free cake."

#244583 +(264)- [X]

<jeff> ok
<jeff> some dumb russian old lady asked me today where the exit was at work
<jeff> how did she get in the store in the first place

#244602 +(1079)- [X]

<Timelord> My beard has blonde hairs.
<Timelord> And red.
<Timelord> And brown.
<Timelord> And black.
<Timelord> And white.
<Timelord> And a couple of other shades of those.
<asshat> stop going down on carebears

#244632 +(256)- [X]

<jonathan> YOUR BREATS REMIND ME OF MOUNT RUSHMORE
<Legolas> Her breasts have presidents faces on them?
<jonathan> MY FACE SHOULD BE IMPRINTED AMONG THEM

#244651 +(399)- [X]

Rovin: MY AUNT WENT OUT WITH IVAN FROM MEN WITHOUT HATS
Shorah: Did they practice safety sex?

#244654 +(225)- [X]

* ProdigalGenius (~cicilianr@resnet65-241.ucr.edu) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Namen> Who is peer and why is he running around the net resetting connections?
<Inquisitor> Peer is a drunkard who beats his kids and resets connections because his inability to retain fluids, more specifically of an urinal nature, prevents him from remaining dry for more than 20 minutes, causing him much ridicule and disdain.  This is a frustration which has scarred him, and some accounts inform that he has been seen wading on his own pool of piss screaming "I AM NO BEDWETTER I AM NO BEDWETTER".

#244675 +(381)- [X]

<HF> uhm...  from CNET Shopping...  This Western Digital Raptor WD360GD .... Its data transfer rate of 150 megabits-per-second is relatively fast, compared to the typical hard drive.
<HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD2500JD .... Compared to a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150 megabits-per-second is relatively slow.
<HF> This Western Digital Caviar SE WD1200JD .... Compared to a typical hard drive, its data transfer rate of 150 megabits-per-second is fairly standard.
<HF> Well at least they cover all the bases
<HF> "Goldie Locks and the Three Hard Drives"

#244753 +(515)- [X]

<kymscrazy> I blame everything on lag. :)  Late to work, I was lagged.  Forgot to call, sorry I was lagged.
<Foenix> "Sorry, my ping time to my alarm clock sucks."


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