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#239571 +(453)- [X]

<RuleR-> jesus christ, i farted so loud my dog ran away from my room

#239578 +(279)- [X]

<Tigs> does anyone have a ruler i can borrow?

#239582 +(431)- [X]

<@Zero_C> This game makes me happy
<@Zero_C> http://www.fairyland.com.my/
<@Zero_C> It has faries ^_^
<@Zero_C> I feel like a 3 year old queer boy all over again
<@Zero_C> What the fuck
<@Zero_C> It wants my social security number

#239601 +(924)- [X]

<Jack> I hit a new low today
<Jack> I claimed lag when I tipped over a cup as I was reaching for it
<Jack> out loud.

#239650 +(257)- [X]

<drangdloon> I work on my knees 8-10 hours a day..
<drangdloon> get your minds out of the gutter
<drangdloon> i am a flooring contractor

#239680 +(320)- [X]

* Joins: kickurass
*** wes changes the topic to 'latest: phoenix 2.1 gamecobe loader'
*** wes changes the topic to 'latest: phoenix 2.1 gamecube looder'
<wes> shit, that i suck lol.
*** wes changes the topic to 'update: latest phoenix 2.1 loader for gamecube'
<kickurass> can someone tell me what's the latest version of the phoenix loader is???

#239701 +(580)- [X]

<skitax> finally
<skitax> i just upgraded to 56k

#239710 +(510)- [X]

<+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
<+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
<+ApEtc> Remove it
<+llamaInAbox> the eye?
<+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complaining

#239711 +(822)- [X]

<Marilyn> I have a very large trouser snake in my backyard!!
<RaydenUni> trouser snake?
<Diazo> good for you
<RaydenUni> what's that?
<RaydenUni> a big snake that crawls up your trousers?
-a few seconds pass-
<RaydenUni> wtf? don't look up "trouser snake" on google

#239720 +(430)- [X]

<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels

#239735 +(580)- [X]

ericZir: what a retard
Shyne Po: Lol yeah
ericZir: retard*
ericZir: oh
ericZir: nvm

#239799 +(752)- [X]

<swesticles> OK, I fixed my match.com profile. Sadly, I'll still be a gay man with a nice butt that likes kittens for 24-72 hours until my new profile is approved :(
<Psion> what?
<swesticles> I changed my password, too, so whatever assfuck hacked my account can suck my dick.

#239817 +(1479)- [X]

<my_ass_is_hot> So the vice principle was fucking like, sweating because she was a fat bitch and it was lunch time
<uber_bob> lol
<my_ass_is_hot> so as soon as the bell rings she rushes out of the office like a scud missle heading for a childrens daycare
<krazykillah> ROFl
<my_ass_is_hot> but when she comes back there are like 6 of us there waiting for her and she says, "all right, whos my next victim?"
<my_ass_is_hot> and I yell, "A CHEESEBURGER!"
<my_ass_is_hot> there was this huge silence and then everybody in the room including some other teacher started laughing like hell and the fat bitch is just staring like she wants to kill me
<my_ass_is_hot> i got suspended :(

#239870 +(850)- [X]

punkass keith: did i tell you my aborted baby idea?
ecj: no what is it
punkass keith: if i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of beign pregnat so i would deliver a potatoe sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of perservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house.  and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothign but potatoe sized aborted fetuses.  then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.

#239936 +(465)- [X]

<MassHysteria> I must have been high when I did up my linux box.
<MassHysteria> fuckin a.. this sucks.. now I'm gonna haveta reinstall everything.
<MassHysteria> ah well.. I'll chalk it up to experience
<Hominid> "I had to reinstall Linux.  'Cause I got high, 'cause I got high."

#239953 +(293)- [X]

<Eagon> yeah we talk about important stuff in here
<ded_guy> yeah
<ded_guy> so, who in here has gas?
<spatula> i do

#239973 +(959)- [X]

* Joins: kewty (sunkloto@vw4936.iprimus.net.au)
<kewty> wat av i mist?
<chopsuey> english class

#239995 +(1462)- [X]

<Drychtnath> csn hold sm u ajcp;pjp
<Drychtnath> *I cns hdol mu alclhoo
<Drychtnath> *can, *hold, *my, *alcohol
<getoutofmygalley> You should really go to bed, Dan. You're way too drunk.
<Drychtnath> butr i'm not
<Drychtnath> least i don't think dfo
<Drychtnath> dfo = spo
<Drychtnath> spo = os
<Drychtnath> os = so

#240013 +(193)- [X]

<CCCXLVI> Ok so what I'm saying is, that CapnSilver said she was ugly, so that must mean that any girl that he has had any sort of relationship with must be BETTER looking than Paris Hilton... So basically he has only gone out with models??
<CCCXLVI> Which we all know is utter shit.
<jaxxon> your argument is 'shes better looking because i say so'
<CCCXLVI> Bullshit, that's my whole argument just there.
<CCCXLVI> Read it you fucking ignoramous.
<CapnSilver> the flaw in your arguement is that you think you're right

#240021 +(223)- [X]

<benko> 302 Found -> Location: http://127.0.0.1/your_machine_has_been_blocked_by_sourceforge.net_due_to_heavy_volume--usually-crawling...
<benko> damndamndamn
<benko> working for a search engine company does have its downsides :-/

#240030 +(138)- [X]

<Alby_Fox> if pirating movies was an olympic sport I'd be canada
<Alby_Fox> or some other country
<Alby_Fox> that loses

#240044 +(1595)- [X]

<DeAdiNsiDe> WOooOH!
<DeAdiNsiDe> SPIDERS!!!!!!!!
<Spiders> yes?
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> err
<DeAdiNsiDe> disk!
<Spiders> hahaha
<DeAdiNsiDe> Ooh fuck
<DeAdiNsiDe> im never gonna hear the end of that one

#240059 +(279)- [X]

<Doh_> programming is the act of creating a computer program
<Doh_> not of copying and pasting other peoples code
<Doh_> not to mention on the grand scheme of things, youre program is about as complex as the little clicky thing on the end of some pens

#240088 +(282)- [X]

<mefwork> haha, someone from purchasing sent out an email marked urgent -- WE WILL NOT BE BUYING COLORED POST-IT NOTES ANY LONGER AS THEY ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE STANDARD YELLOW COLORED ONES

#240120 +(2034)- [X]

<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a seinor in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, 2 Super 8 video cassettes and 1 Roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks.

#240141 +(266)- [X]

<Sphexi_LOTU> Volvo has a new concept car out, designed by women for women.
<Sphexi_LOTU> It has verticle wing-type doors so women won't get their dresses torn when getting out, lots of luggage space for shopping bags, removable seat covers and carpeting so you can remodel the car at will, and extra large visor mirrors for applying makeup.
<Sphexi_LOTU> it's going to be extra reliable and maintenance free, so women won't have to worry about remembering to get the oil changed or the engine tuned up.
<CaesarMaximus> Volvo swedish quality =)
<Tempest_MD> Does it come with a driver?
<Tempest_MD> (women don't know how to drive)

#240219 +(661)- [X]

x NIKKI MERSH x: would u still come over my house if my parents saw a picture of ur penis?
hOckey: yeah
hOckey: why!?
x NIKKI MERSH x: just curious

#240399 +(633)- [X]

*Josh has joined #artstudio
<Josh> quick guys, how do you reattach the head to a dead body?

#240765 +(677)- [X]

<cads> hey, do you guys know what kind adhesive electrtical tape uses; my borther put electrical tape on his monitor, and it left a residue when it came off
<cads> so I need to figure out a solven that will get rid of it
<cads> without destroying the screen finish of his (LCD) monitor
<comemirda> cads - what happened?
<cads> he was watching anime
<cads> and he didn't want to look at the subtitles
<cads> so the idjit put a strip of electrical tape on his monitor

#240849 +(14097)- [X]

<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls

#240850 +(1427)- [X]

<LORD|Kittel|Work> I had a user tell me that she couldn't see anything on her PC. I had her verify for me that it was plugged in and that it was turned on. When it still didn't display anything I went to her office to take a look.
<LORD|Kittel|Work> She didn't have a computer. She had a monitor only.
<LORD|Bishop|Werk> hahahahahahaaha
<LORD|Kittel|Work> But that was indeed plugged in and turned on.
<LORD|Kittel|Work> I had to give her that.

#240871 +(487)- [X]

xlegoLASelfx: lifes a bitch
x0xsmeagol1x0x: but if it were a slut, it would be too easy

#240899 +(732)- [X]

Keladry43:    i am very bad at crabble
Stumacha:    obviously
Keladry43:    uh. yeah. dammit.

#240917 +(1150)- [X]

<Evilution> I was at 7-11 today and this girls comes up and talks to me and stuff (dont ask me to define stuff)
<Evilution> except for the boobies she was wrong in every possible way for me..
<Evilution> after a while when she says "I'll give you my number so we can meet up again"
<Evilution> then I said "No, that wont be necessary, I wouldnt call you anyway"
<ImperioN^> lol
<Evilution> that kinda ticked her off I guess, cause then she said something like
<Evilution> "what kinda moron are you? cant you tell when someone's flirting with you?!?"
<Evilution> I grinned and replied "what kinda moron are you who cant tell when you're being dissed?"
<Evilution> that's one of them moments you just cant help feeling proud of..

#240928 +(661)- [X]

eriberri: i just finished removing all sorts of third-party hair from the keyboard :p
*** EtherKnot (~ek@24.66.4.100) has joined channel #macintosh
Snausages: mmm, buttfurr
EtherKnot: woah
EtherKnot: let me try that again
*** EtherKnot has left channel #macintosh

#241084 +(819)- [X]

<NrgSpoon> what's the difference between an orange?
<Doragon> one of them doesn't
<smh> best joke evr

#241121 +(456)- [X]

Alex: I'm so goth even my chocobos are black.

#241189 +(-13)- [X]

<peer> man bash.org sucks they never accept my super witty comments
<FyreDaug> welcome to the club
<FyreDaug> all those roses are red poems get accepted, half of them suck
<peer> fuckin niggers
<FyreDaug> I vote we all try to take over bash.org
* jfo has left #DC
* eric has left #DC
* FLINGU has quit IRC (quit: )
* peer has quit IRC (ping timeout)
<FyreDaug> those fuckers got to us already
* sAMMYsUNG has left #DC
* w1222 has left #DC
* Disconnected
* Unable to resolve server

#241223 +(413)- [X]

<c41yp50> "If elected, Kerry will appoint Captain Planet as secretary of defense, but the military will crumble when everyone realizes how stupid the power of heart is."

#241228 +(758)- [X]

<turboeli> Someday I will achieve my project of putting together the ultimate funny stereotype, the Engrish Gangsta. However, I have yet to progress further than 'bring bring'.

#241250 +(718)- [X]

<digitz> I really hate it when girls think it's sexy to stand up and pull there cunt flaps apart and make it look like they have the predator between there legs

#241363 +(872)- [X]

<dabblerblue> i called tech support today
<dabblerblue> and shortly thereafter, they sent me an email detailing the use
              of search engines
<dabblerblue> sarcastic bastards

#241368 +(513)- [X]

<Continuity> EVERY TIME YOU LEECH A GAME, GOD KILLS AN RIIA EMPLOYEE
<east> that wouldn't work
<east> the RIAA would've been eradicated a long time ago
<Curry> they just throw a specimen back to the spawning vats
<Curry> *spoof* instant employees
<Outrider> LOL RIAA RUSH KEKEKEKEKEKEKE ^_________________^

#241391 +(452)- [X]

<Grey> I downloaded an ISO image of a game which turned out to be porn...
<Grey> people don't respect anything anymore
<Borlath_Mon> I downloaded Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, and sadly, it turned out to be Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri.

#241623 +(1191)- [X]

<MegaDeth> family pack of condoms
<MegaDeth> hehehe
<MegaDeth> that's amusing on so many levels

#241729 +(551)- [X]

<dpkg> greycat:
BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerMushroomMUSHROOMBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerSnaaaaaaaaakkeeeASnaaaaake
<greycat> ah, the lynx-compatible version.

#242116 +(265)- [X]

<Tie> CD-RWs are like.. virigins who never lose their virginity no matter how much you fuck 'em

#242303 +(726)- [X]

<+MrKite> I remember one of my teachers, she was a female teacher, and it was hawaiian week and she had too lais around her neck. Eric said to her "I see you got laid over the weekend" which instantly made me think he was going to have problems, she casually responded "Yeah, twice"

#242402 +(2440)- [X]

DinjackPD: there was this once, like three years ago, I forgot this big project I had to turn in when I went to school
DinjackPD: so I called home to my dad (he works out of a home office) and asked him to bring it for me
DinjackPD: so he came to school with it and he came up to me and shook my hand and said "Hi there, I'm David, I'm your personal secretary."
DinjackPD: And I said "Hi there, I'm your son, you signed on for this shit when you didn't wear a condom."
DinjackPD: I thought it was funnier than he did

#242534 +(604)- [X]

* Warlocke sings, "What a girl wants, what a girl needs, is a box of Kotex month-lee-ee when she blee-eeds."
<Katrina> OMFG


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