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#233610 +(1301)- [X]

<kjones> last night i had sex with a model.
<simtaxijunki> O.o
<kjones> but then the glue melted
<kjones> and one of the wings fell off.
<kjones> go figure.

#233651 +(1392)- [X]

<Chrisodeo> veni, veni, veni.
<CrazySteve> Pervert.

#233654 +(662)- [X]

<spyder> fuck it
<spyder> ima go kill myself
<spyder> bbl

#233682 +(1607)- [X]

AntF22: dude
AntF22: "goober" in pig latin is "oober gay"
AntF22: hahahahaha

#233731 +(1632)- [X]

<EinHander MK II> wtf... how did my cat get INSIDE my computer case...

#234183 +(280)- [X]

<Dan> I was at a funeral
<Saria> catholics suck..
<Dan> And I was drinking a pop
<Dan> And for some stupid reason... the holy water was plugged into an electrical socket
<Dan> So the wire was just kinda hanging out
<Saria> so do pentecostals
<Dan> So I trip on it... land in the holy water, spilling this brown pop in the holy water
<Saria> lol
<Saria> :/
<lophyte> LOL
<lophyte> awesome
<Dan> I look down and said "Whoa.. it's holy crap!"
<lophyte> LMAO
<lophyte> HAHAHA
<Saria> LOL
<Dan> Never saw the inside of that church again...

#234201 +(1380)- [X]

<JerZgirl> damn i wish my husband would quit cruising around looking for access points and come home already!
<Demon> Back when I was a kid, we just called them `girls'.
<digia> lmao

#234263 +(897)- [X]

<chanman3> i was looking up slaves for a school project on yahoo
<chanman3> on of the ads was: Buy and Sell "slaves" on E-bay.

#234706 +(248)- [X]

<@debaser> so
<@debaser> i'm kinda looking forward to seeing the passion
<blister> the question is though: which bitch is going to get naked in this story (the hotty from Braveheart == win!)
<Azra`el> jesus died a virgin man
<Azra`el> remember?
<Pi> Azra`el: but Jesus got tempted like a mofo
<Pi> so some chick's probably all "let's sex0r" and he's all "get thee behind me"
<blister> if they did that
<blister> i'd go see it

#234735 +(1755)- [X]

<Clinton> "Here in canada, we have a special program to deal with the homeless, its called "winter""

#234970 +(6641)- [X]

<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.

#235003 +(2059)- [X]

Dracula: Roses are red
Dracula: Violets are blue
Dracula: this line doesn't rhyme
Dracula: and neither does this one

#235781 +(488)- [X]

<amped> f7 then :D
<Pockets> lol
<Pockets> yup
<amped> heh
<Pockets> bye bye cruiser :P
<amped> a3?
<Pockets> miss
<Pockets> i3
<VanJeans> there's something very sad about IRC battleships :/
<Pockets> yeah ur in the middle of it biartch! :D
<amped> miss, a4
<Pockets> sunk :/
<amped> woo!
<VanJeans> ...sad ... very sad

#236305 +(433)- [X]

<!fis> finally my nickalert works =D
<!fis> FUCK
<!fis> i think my screen just burnt through
<!fis> i can type
<!fis> but i don't see anything
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!fis> stop that
<!Purge> actually.. i just tried to morse you something =/

#236399 +(759)- [X]

* Lembas found an awesome headline in today's paper.
<Lembas> Violence in Israel.
* Bonzai fails to see the awesomeness, that's like "Snow in Siberia"
<Bruce_MacCulloch> or "Idiots in Washington"

#236401 +(496)- [X]

<the_stick> I finally managed to get rid of Linux
<the_stick> Unfortunately I got rid of windows and all my data in the process
<the_stick> guess it didnt want to go down without a fight

#236412 +(324)- [X]

* MogKnight fires suicide bombers at acpo
<MogKnight> FOR ALLAH.
<Cassie> don't mock allah :(
<Cassie> he is my god
<rikku> SO YOUR ARBIAN!!!!
<Cassie> yes, i'm from Arbia

#236466 +(2386)- [X]

Seijurro1234: IM NOT ON AOL .. IM ON AMERICA ONLINE
Seijurro1234: RETARD

#236870 +(355)- [X]

<Bmann> its supposed to be 60 tomorrow?
<brendando> its nice out here
<brendando> Not that I have been outside in 2 days
<brendando> But I'm near a window

#236900 +(612)- [X]

<Serafijn> what's that film with the ship and the ghosts?
<Nightchill> Ghostship?
<Serafijn> oh yeah

#236904 +(448)- [X]

<Jaz> You're catholic, right jay?
<@Jaayy> you and me both.
<Jaz> What are you giving up for lent?
<@Jaayy> Catholocism.
<Jaz> how ironic.

#237170 +(301)- [X]

tobby14 (~java@1046E976.C3C0D218.2D1B8E7.IP) has joined #Lobby
<tobby14> whats up you all mudafuckers
<@Dante> i think you're on the wrong server
<@Dante> you want irc.whitetrash.wigger.net

#237400 +(531)- [X]

<|TripleH|> so.. where are all the bitches who wanna make me somethin to eat.=P
<epoch--> |TripleH|: they are having a meeting with all the bitches that want to sleep with you
<Elmyra> so far, the room is empty..
<lenoreo> all those folded chairs for nothing...
<Elmyra> but we're still hopeful that SOMEONE will show up. ..
<epoch--> or SOMETHING

#237409 +(885)- [X]

<Ancalagon> We have here a message from the National Pancake Institute: Fuck Waffles

#237410 +(2634)- [X]

<foo> Damn, more spam invading my inbox
<Aviator> Nooooobody expects the Spammer's Imposition!
<Aviator> Our two weapons are offshore servers and feeble laws. Feeble laws and offshore servers.
<Aviator> And fake headers. Our THREE weapons are offshore servers, feeble laws and fake headers.
<Aviator> And gulliable horny lamers. Our FOUR weapons are... I'll come in again.
-!- Aviator [dsm@mimas] has quit [Come, Cardinal Bigglesworth!]
-!- Aviator [dsm@mimas] has joined #chat
<foo> Riiiiiight...
* Aviator tortures foo with the comfy V14Gr/ and the soft Debt Consolidation

#237483 +(698)- [X]

* Zed used to teach idiots how to 'hack' in Diablo.
<Zed> I mean, I'd give them an axe, then lead them to the dungeon.
<Zed> Tell them to hit a skeleton.
<Zed> They didn't appreciate that :p

#237507 +(573)- [X]

<chobits41> You know that big mall in Edmonton has three fully working submarines.
<chobits41> the Canadain Navy has two.
<@Airs> lol
<chobits41> So if war ever broke out in that mall ... they'd never make it past the Gap.

#237811 +(280)- [X]

* MoonKatz munches some girl scout cookies.
<MoonKatz> for some reason, these aren't all that great. Maybe it's because I had shortbread recently.
<Da5id> could be that they didn't use fresh girlscouts this year too
<MoonKatz> true. I got them from a different troop, so that must be it.

#237903 +(503)- [X]

<Tenkz> GG and Riot sitting in a tree
<Tenkz> virtually undressing...ly.
<MrPants> first comes asl
<Tenkz> then comes cyber
<Girl_Gamer_152> then comes meet in real life and IT'S A 60YO TRANSFESTITE!

#237904 +(158)- [X]

(lara`) i wanna die
(lara`) just like jesus christ
(Ic3zero) whats stopping u
(Ic3zero) ppl cant carry u up the hill?

#237913 +(191)- [X]

<Penguin> All I did was try to brighten up their days, with racial hate propaganda.
<cow|a> ahhaah
<cow|a> as you should.
<Penguin> And what do they do in return? Ban me!

#237941 +(278)- [X]

<Fox_Alan> when you have to resort to using pickup lines from bash.org things are bad :)
<Borlath_Mon> Yeah, but nobody I know over here READS bash.org - I read a bit before I go out, and I'm the life of the party. Telling jokes, making fun of things...
<Borlath_Mon> Of course, I -did- get into a bit of trouble when I went to the Black Pride thing.
<Borlath_Mon> That antique farm equipment joke didn't go down too well.

#237959 +(348)- [X]

(Nero6) I like how you have to be 18 to enter a porno site, but the "you must be 18 to enter" page is covered with nothing but nude women

#237965 +(278)- [X]

(+^Bunny) without the sex
(@Squiggle) the sex doesnt matter
(+^Bunny) like prison mates :)
(+^Bunny) lol j/k
(@Squiggle) I would SO much rather have someone hold me and play with my hair and snuggle me while I sleep than have sex.
(@Squiggle) sex is irrelevant to me most times.
(+^Bunny) i think a lot of women would ;)
(@Squiggle) Besides, my washing machine has a great spin cycle.

#237976 +(1273)- [X]

<Monga> Any of you guys ever get stuck in your chair?
<Marjerin> No
<DeeDee> No
<UppeRkilL> No
<Monga> Yeah, uh, me neither.

#237981 +(588)- [X]

 --- Received a CTCP FINGER from Tru7h
<scythe> stop fingering me, Tru7h
<Tru7h> im just testing it out
<Tru7h> I have never fingered anyone before
<Tru7h> ...
<Tru7h> oh god
<Tru7h> that so didn't
<Tru7h> sound right
<scythe> excuse me while i quote that

#237985 +(506)- [X]

<+IronKite> When will I learn to stop frying bacon in the nude?
<@jaymeekae> shortly after an embarrassing trip to the ER?
<+IronKite> good point.

#238023 +(221)- [X]

* Arathia serepticously kicks Aytin in the shin
<Arathia> (horribly mispelled)
<Aytin> no, shin is right

#238045 +(327)- [X]

<javachickn> O FUCK MY FOOT IS ASLEEP
<javachickn> WHAT DO I DO
<javachickn> HURRY
<Steve> wake it up with fire
<Steve> the really hot kind.

#238059 +(694)- [X]

<LZ> when I was like 8
<LZ> I was trying to make this fanfic
<LZ> where Mario met his twin sister Maria
<Elmoogle> And they sexx0red?
<LZ> I was 8 ;_;
<LZ> Yes
<LZ> They did

#238061 +(315)- [X]

ZacCichy: or why is it I can't find a chick
ZacCichy: younger than 15!?
ZacCichy: :-(
ZacCichy: OLDER I MEAN

#238066 +(863)- [X]

<tah_twig> How do you know I'm NOT a hot, slutty girl?
<go_amd_go> because your here

#238071 +(379)- [X]

<Guest34423> is Microsoft Access available in windows?
<Pinchiukas> no, it's for linux

#238103 +(709)- [X]

<KB1JEC> anybody here give me a little help with VB?
<MikeJ> KB1JEC - does this look like a VB help channel?
<MikeJ> #C# is the VB help channel
<MikeJ> *duh*
<KB1JEC> ok im so awfully sorry
<KB1JEC> Unable to join #C# because a correct key is required
<MikeJ> ok
<MikeJ> then try #C++ they do it too
<KB1JEC> ok im in #c++, thanks
* KB1JEC has left #VisualBasic
<MikeJ> ...

#238107 +(422)- [X]

<qreymer> fuck... i just scratched my laptops monitor... and then i tried to use ctrl + z on it
<qreymer> i forgot it doesn't work on the outside ;(

#238114 +(254)- [X]

<p0m> AGDN: My father's always calling me to explain the toolbar on Word.
<p0m> Its rediculous.
<p0m> "Whats this button do?" "I Don't fucking know! CLIIIIICK IT!"

#238133 +(454)- [X]

<Gandalf> at least you arent typical of most yanks here who hear the word africa and automatically think we drive elephants to work
<Dinxy> no you drive black people to work

#238156 +(513)- [X]

Quension | in other news, I actually had a user read my away message (which was "idle")
Quension | unfortunately, there was a problem
Quension | <crizza> ctc
Quension | <crizza> asl plsssss.
Quension | <crizza> wat's idle
Quension | <crizza> i cant umderstand

#238158 +(443)- [X]

<birdhouseskater> my one goal in life besides a girlfriend is getting in bash.org

#238166 +(530)- [X]

* Lemming hands out glasses full of an unidentifiable liquid.
<Lemming> beba la sandwich!
<red_cactus> you blended a sammich?
<red_cactus> *blenderd
<red_cactus> *blendered
<red_cactus> *put a sammich in a blender


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