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#218315 +(2369)- [X]

<oliciv> Roses are red,
<oliciv> violets are blue,
<oliciv> badger badger badger,
<oliciv> badger badger mushroom

#218462 +(429)- [X]

[CaSiNo] wtf is the trivia game?
[Hellz] type /wuit to start it
::: quit: (Hellz) (Quit: &#8212;I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n&#8212; 2.0 Build 3515)

#218569 +(1129)- [X]

<[GSF]Pyronus> CAPSLOCK IS AUTOPILOT FOR COOL

#218575 +(142)- [X]

<D-FENZ> anyone know how much you can overclock the 2500xp before shit happnes
<Moonman> if u smell burning....then i'd slow down :P
<Malthius> sounds like sex really

#218577 +(765)- [X]

<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what decade

#218850 +(209)- [X]

<fiz> I'm touching my hard drive right now
<fiz> adjusting the pins
<Khazwerk> mmm
<fiz> spinning up my disk
<fiz> s
<Khazwerk> what jumper position is it set at?  tell me *slowly*
<fiz> READING/WRITING
<fiz> READR
<fiz> READ
<fiz> READ
<fiz> WRITE
<fiz> whew
<FengWork> that was quick.
<fiz> yeah, my seek time rocks
<fiz> spins down

#218865 +(599)- [X]

<Macavity> Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poems write you.
<Costilled> next time please just link the bash quote
<|Wolf|> my ass is red, my balls are blue, you read bash.org, I DO TOO!

#219069 +(706)- [X]

<jesus_X> Back in high school, I was fueding with this football phag, because I boinked his sister, then broke up with her. In the middle of english class, he starts making noises calling me gay, fag, etc.
<jesus_X> So, after 15 minutes of it, and him not listening to the teacher to shut up, I got him good.
<jesus_X> I turned around, looked him dead in the eye, and said:
<jesus_X> You didn't have any complaints last night!
<jesus_X> He NEVER spoke to me again.

#219186 +(832)- [X]

* Ardham refuses to put flamable objects in close proximity to his manhood.... though it may have prevented the 3 kids he has now.
<Tierrie_> Its not too late to put flamable objects near your kids

#219349 +(1589)- [X]

<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

#219380 +(1896)- [X]

Sushispook: so we're swapping out all these old pc's with newer ones
Sushispook: and we're stacking them up in piles in the cube next to me
Sushispook: and all the old ones have various notes on them, since some have been pillaged for parts
Sushispook: i go into the cube to talk to the rentatech and see how he's doing, and i lean up against the cube
Sushispook: and i end up walking out with one of those notes stuck to my ass
Sushispook: and just try and guess what that note said
Sushispook: NEEDS HARD DRIVE
Sushispook: right on my ass

#219418 +(334)- [X]

* Avatar-X gives kris a colourful gift box with question marks and tux's printed all over. "Open it!"
* Kris looks around nervously and slowly opens it
<Avatar-X> it's empty!
<Avatar-X> the box represents what an open-source linux programmer makes in a year :)

#219421 +(366)- [X]

<Lunaris> In Taiwan, A Sperm Whale Suddenly exploded in the streets
<Lunaris> according to my newspaper
<Stiletto> I heard something about that
<Stiletto> I wish I had been there
<Lunaris> theres blood and guts everywhere...
<Stiletto> That would have fuckin ruled to see
<Lunaris> yuck...
<Thalamasa> ....
<Thalamasa> So wait
<Thalamasa> So there's this sperm whale
<Stiletto> "Dude that fuckin whale just exploded!"
<Thalamasa> In the streets
<Thalamasa> And it just exploded
<Thalamasa> Out of nowhere
<Stiletto> It was being hauled
<mia> LMFAO
<Stiletto> To a science lab
<Thalamasa> Okay
<Lunaris> it was being carried on a flatbed
<Thalamasa> So
<Thalamasa> yeah
<Stiletto> And internal pressure caused it to combust
<Stiletto> Sperm whale isn't meant to be anywhere except water
<Lunaris> and BOOM!!
<Stiletto> I can explain more if you like
<Lunaris> OMG...
<Flession> now they gotta clean up all the sperm
<Thalamasa> ...
<Lunaris> I am never going to that site again
<Thalamasa> Look
<Lunaris> ugh...
<Lunaris> ...
<Stiletto> Why?
<Thalamasa> Thank you for turning a whale exploding
<Thalamasa> into a bukkake fest
<Flession> I try

#219422 +(98)- [X]

<DaedalusX> most constipation is where your ass muscles have had it tho :P
<Nigelenki> x.o
<Nigelenki> that's gonna happen to me one day
<Nigelenki> my ass is gonna just give out from the stress
<DaedalusX> heheheh
<DaedalusX> Elvis died straining on the toilet :P
<Nigelenki> o.o;
<DaedalusX> in case you didn't know
<Nigelenki> i was referring to things going in more than coming out.

#219428 +(391)- [X]

<Arsonic> steam, steam, the magical fruit. the more you play the more you reboot

#219469 +(335)- [X]

<JtotheB> ( o  Y  o )
<Yosho> o.o
<Nazi[Genocide]> I wonder if anyone's ever gotten off to ascii pr0n, like in the 80's
<JtotheB> Way ahead of you.

#219514 +(455)- [X]

<ProAlias> re
<ProAlias> phew
<ProAlias> time flies when you're playing Desert Combat
<ProAlias> no wonder the americans are stuck in Iraq
<Jeedo> lol

#219548 +(1606)- [X]

<Snoody> Banky, are you still a virgin?
<Banky> Ask your mom.
<Snoody> She said yes.

#219566 +(231)- [X]

(@Josh) do you know where your children are
(~cypher) in the bottom of the sock on the floor
(@equin0x) ..
(@Josh) for your mother to find?
! @Josh thinks his mom caught him a few times
(~cypher) its not going to clean itself :S

#219577 +(1706)- [X]

<Ich> Why are you hosting on port 666?
<Texasdex> just for the hell of it

#219647 +(894)- [X]

<Bushido> But I suppose a goth chick at KFC would be just as funny.
<Scarab> "Is your crispy chicken as crisp as dead leaves swaying from the gallows of skeletal wooden claws hewn from their withered arms by jagged-fanged steel?" "Nah, but it's pretty damn crunchy." "I accept."

#219686 +(512)- [X]

<harlequin> shut the fuck up
<harlequin> all of you make me fucking sick
<JewBagel> Im sorry
<harlequin> what has irc become
<JewBagel> ...I like bacon if that helps at all.

#219761 +(426)- [X]

<Tremolo> They tried to shove Christianity down my throat
<Zenith> That's not where you're supposed to *shove* Christianity!  Look at the priests!  They know what they're doing.

#220697 +(350)- [X]

<Drewtetz> new internet pickup line! "Girl, you're so hot your file extension should be .fap!"

#220832 +(650)- [X]

<deophite> HOLLAND, Michigan (AP) -- Tacking Jr. or II onto a boy's name is too common, a new father decided, so the self-described engineering geek took a software approach to naming his newborn son.
<deophite> Jon Blake Cusack talked his wife, Jamie, into naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.
<Yale> nice ;x
<Craisin> haha
<Craisin> when he learns to walk, 2.1

#220843 +(910)- [X]

<epictetus> is <3 supposed to be a heart or an ass hat?

#220904 +(301)- [X]

<NW>: The NHL has the Stanley Cup, the MLB has the World Series, and the NFL has the Super Bowl.
<NW> I'm not sure what the NBA has...
**Reno sips vodkety.
<[Drum]>: The Championship.
<Ran[afk]>: The Rape Accusation Trial.

#220940 +(293)- [X]

<notlewdminx> Jesus would be so much cooler if he hatched from an egg
<coke-> haha
<notlewdminx> Immaculate conception? BIG DEAL
<notlewdminx> Eggboy? AWESOME
<coke-> THEY POKED A HOLE IN THE JESUS EGG
<notlewdminx> You could paint it

#220983 +(1110)- [X]

<Joe> so if somebody said "I did your momma" what would you say?
<Eric> Daddy?
<Joe> okay, you got me there, that was a good one

#220997 +(1115)- [X]

<ISO_Girl> i need to trim my hair
<Anarchy_Creator> meh short hair on a woman = no
<Anarchy_Creator> i think shoulder length is good
<ISO_Girl> wrong hair buddy
<Anarchy_Creator> ...

#221002 +(263)- [X]

<TKD-Azmodeux> I'm embezzling all the clan funds into jerkin's hand lotion.
<TKD-Strider> Why do you need that?
<TKD-Azmodeux> ...Yes...why indeed...

#221090 +(518)- [X]

<Fig_leaf> i saw this black kid the other day
<Fig_leaf> he was wearing a jersey type shirt with 'DMX - Ruff Riderz' on it.
<Fig_leaf> i asked what 'DMX' has to do with Teddy Roosevelt?
<Fig_leaf> and he hit me
<Fig_leaf> >:(

#221121 +(502)- [X]

* sty is now listening to Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two Tribes
* Bluey is now listening to The Printer - Churning Out Pages.

#221128 +(1212)- [X]

<Rhodz> bah
<Rhodz> so sick of this superbowl crap
<Rhodz> they just cater to the lowest common denominator
<Rhodz> I half expect next year's superbowl to be a reality home improvement show where the two teams have to build the stadium and when they're done get voted off their teams one by one until the last two have to compete in a singing contest judges by that simon guy from american idol, and the winner wins the superbowl alone, and gets a free makeover from the queer eye dudes and then a week later finds out he was "punk'd" and he didnt really win anything
<Rhodz> ..
<Rhodz> wait...that sounds like an awesome show

#221306 +(1477)- [X]

<zorba> man tesla was a cool guy
<zorba> he basically transmitted power over 30 feet without the use of wires
<arpit> i can do it too :P
* arpit throws a battery

#221314 +(274)- [X]

<res0> LapCat says elizabeth hurley has DSLs
<mattt> broadband?
<res0> dick sucking lips
<res0> she does have some nice lips, but reducing such an astoundingly attractive woman to a sexual object that any street slut could embody is something i'd never do.
<jotun> yeah, that's my job!
<res0> sucking dick?
<jotun> :<

#221321 +(600)- [X]

<kaleido:#cisco> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<Blaxthos> HEY I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE
<kaleido> classic moment
<Blaxthos> hahahaha
<kaleido> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<kaleido> 20 cubes all shouting out, "HEY EVERYBOSY, IM LOOKING AT GAY           PORN!"
<kaleido> followed by 20 guys all in my cube ready to beat me

#221342 +(211)- [X]

<Necro^Partehh4t> if someone insults canada the best thing u can say is
<Necro^Partehh4t> atleast im not french-canadian :.
<[HI]Widget> lol
<Bob_the_cannibal> what if you're french-canadian?
<Necro^Partehh4t> then you suck

#221367 +(1218)- [X]

<PasteyGamer> So, what class of character would you like to be?
<Malt_Liqa> Possibly a theif.
<PasteyGamer> Um, alright. There are many forms of that class like, rogue, assassin...
<Malt_Liqa> I'll be an assassin!
<PasteyGamer> Are you sure, there are some downsides.
<Malt_Liqa> Are you fucking kidding?! It has ass in it! TWICE!
<PasteyGamer> Why the fuck haven't I killed you yet?

#221380 +(113)- [X]

<Wingzy> crud, you should come to windsor some day
<crudmonky> Wingzy: i would, but i have recurring nightmares that i might find myself stuck in canada
<crudmonky> and a sole frenchman armed with just a white flag would invade and win

#221418 +(59)- [X]

<sh1bby> man..top 5 inventions by black people...whats up with that
<sh1bby> what about the white people's inventions??
<s3llout> uh..slaves
<s3llout> pwned

#221449 +(261)- [X]

<Space-Monkey|ftw> my hand is stuck in my pc case

#221580 +(666)- [X]

<Queued> It must be late -- "perl5" is looking like "penis"
<Boinger69> Stay up until "VB" looks like "a good idea"

#221661 +(699)- [X]

<RazielHex> Whaddya do if you see a friend's picture in a porn site?
<Yamatto> you link us for a start.

#221671 +(225)- [X]

<Nathicana> invasion, penetration, domination ... tis all related.
<Sirithil> Yes, my militarism is just all Freudian expression...

#221818 +(228)- [X]

(@Furrikain) quickly, put your head to my anus!
(@Furrikain) you can hear the sea =D

#221849 +(123)- [X]

<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world

#221855 +(522)- [X]

<mindy>why are men so insecure about how long their penises are?
<topbottom>it's not that we're insecure, it's just something we like to keep track of, like our shoe size
<topbottom>men need to know this so that when a chick asks us how long our cock is, we know what to multiply by 1.5
<mikeyL>yeah, so i'd say 6 inches
<mikeyL>wait
<mikeyL>fuck
<topbottom>lol

#221937 +(600)- [X]

<jdm> i just accidently urinated on my face
<@Static> did you take a picture?
<jdm> no
<jdm> let go of my wang to catch the toilet seat, it began to fall
<jdm> pissed all over the back of the toilet then it swung up and hit me in the face like a fire hose

#221989 +(213)- [X]

<turkey> my friend saw r kelly's purple escalade with lamberghini doors, and spinners
<HongKongPhooey> did he see the 3 11 year olds inside?


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