#188210 +(503)- [X]
<PotatoSan> Why in the hell is King Boo a heavyweight character in Double Dash?
<PotatoSan> HE'S A MOTHERFUCKING GHOST!
#188238 +(294)- [X]
<guider> i fucking hate my biology teacher
<guider> hes such an asshole, he treats me like his fucking personal assistant
<guider> he has me file shit for him and like make his lesson plans and shit while he sits and flirts with the chicks in my class
<guider> so i'm skipping his stupid class tomorrow
<garfep> you should just leave and be like "suck my cock"
<guider> i bet if i was a girl he would
#188572 +(5405)- [X]
<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
#188575 +(377)- [X]
<ogg> i'm gonna invent a cereal called raisin hell
#188680 +(1645)- [X]
tigeraid: another baby?
tigeraid: jesus christ lady it's a vagina, not a clown car
#189055 +(1071)- [X]
<A_Witt> it's 1:45 am and I swear I just heard somone walking down the street playing a trumpet
#189149 +(264)- [X]
<Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese prostitutes.
<Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations
#189165 +(210)- [X]
<Yoshio> MY FIREWALL
<Yoshio> IS BLOCKING
<Yoshio> ahh much better..
<Yoshio> although i am looking at tubgirl.
<Yoshio> that so cant be real
#189167 +(273)- [X]
<slayer4si> hey does anyone have a good version of Hackers?
<slayer4si> or can get one?
<zMonk> no, but I could mail a pointy stick you could use to poke one of your eyes out, if that helps
#189174 +(809)- [X]
<SaBoTaGeR> A little boy walks into his parents room to see his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
<SaBoTaGeR> The son sees his Mom and asks' "What were you and dad doing? " The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
<SaBoTaGeR> "You're wasting your time." say's the boy. "Why is that? asked his Mom, puzzled? "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up"
#189180 +(869)- [X]
<[GSF]Nitro> if that hot assistant had done a tumor check on my nads, it would have been an embarrassing experience for both of us
<The_Spaniard> excuse me sir can you do something about that erection
<[GSF]Nitro> unless she found a tumor.. that would kill the mood pretty fast I bet
<[GSF]Nitro> you have cancer
#189197 +(106)- [X]
<calgar> haha that's true. i beleve it's like 30% sweedish users on dalnet
<Cola-Kattn> yes, and the other 70% is playing counter-strike
#189206 +(1200)- [X]
* God (email@example.com) has joined #ssboards
* God was kicked by Satan (Satan)
#189209 +(263)- [X]
<aux_> i got gigs like i got ladies
<c0al> ? ur hard drive crashed/
#189225 +(763)- [X]
<@EFA|Kamikaze> Thou shalt hoist oneself upon thy ship of good sportsman, For thy days of "GG" and "NICE Shot" hath past, "GG" shalt be "BS" thy "Nice Shot" shalt be "AIMBOT!!1!1". - Teh Book of Noob Chapter 8:12
#189236 +(1137)- [X]
* Secuerity (GAROZEN@188.8.131.52) has joined #guns
* Secuerity (GAROZEN@184.108.40.206) has left #guns
<MrSk8r> wow a bad spellet
<MrSk8r> severs me right
#189267 +(164)- [X]
<Alberto> Fucking women.
<Mouse> You know what else I hate?
<Mouse> No, no.
<Mouse> Think on a wider scale.
<Alberto> Asians AND Rev?
<Reverend> Two of me?
<Mouse> The answer is everything.
<Alberto> Ah. You walking cliche.
#189288 +(12)- [X]
<bayoab> If i take the hard drive out, will it lose all the information?
<Quixzlizx> not if you have a floppy drive!
#189296 +(325)- [X]
* SLingmas sets mode: +b *!*@*
<@SLingmas> it's ok
<@SLingmas> I had subway for lunch
#189375 +(544)- [X]
--> Colt (~Colt@*********.*******.net) has joined #lobby
<edisk> what is this, some kind of lame winamp visualization?
#189491 +(995)- [X]
<Da5id> check this stuff out
<Da5id> the sign at the student eating facility that i work at says "babcock frozen yogurt"
<Da5id> but 'babcock' is on one line, and 'frozen yogurt' is on the other
<Da5id> and there's two switches for the sign
<Da5id> now, one would THINK that one switch would be for "babcock" and the other for "frozen yogurt"
<Da5id> but no
<Da5id> one switch is for "bab/frozen"
<Da5id> and the other is for "cock/yogurt"
<Da5id> we just closed, like, an hour ago
<Da5id> guess what the sign was left saying?
#189549 +(469)- [X]
<Kunda> I wanna see a Jerry Springer episode where a Scientologist gets into a scrag with a Raelian when they can't agree which planet humans were sent to earth from
#189605 +(2635)- [X]
<sjh> I'm bored, someone entertain me.
* GeminiGirl hands sjh a pretty girl to play with
<sjh> What's her name?
<sjh> Candy is a sluts name.
<GeminiGirl> um... natalie then
<sjh> I only know one Natalie, and she's a stupid bitch
<GeminiGirl> :/ my name is natalie
<sjh> Yeah, I know. You're the only Natalie I know.
#189779 +(6)- [X]
<Buckweed> Tell me who do you think would be smarter, a surgeon or a programmer?
<UltraNewt> surgeon of course
<glix> unless he's a programmer for microsoft, then...
#189795 +(358)- [X]
* Malik_Ishtar begins to get impotent
* Malik_Ishtar dies
#189807 +(1316)- [X]
<sequence> Finally, in 1976, the Court held that discrimination against men was just as much a violation of the Constitution as discrimination against women. This decision involved an Oklahoma statute permitting women to buy beer at the age of 18 but denying men the same right until they reached the age of 21.
<sequence> i wonder what the reasoning for that law was
<Blaxthos> drunk girls put out
#189817 +(793)- [X]
Radish Attack: I'm so happy I could shit a kitten
#189840 +(1265)- [X]
<Kosh> in LotR all the elves sailed to the "undying lands" to the west. Continental drift caused those lands to move further north and eventually they were left to spend eternity making toys for their new red-suited overlord
#189842 +(722)- [X]
(@Big_Daddy) that reminds me, Beer i've lost 30 lbs :D
(@nwar) thats like throwing a deck chair off the titanic :P
#189857 +(1724)- [X]
<Skane|Insane> some idiot has the admin pass on his porn site as admin/admin
<tran> link plz
<Previa> link skane~
<Realjones> if you dont link you are banned
#189871 +(926)- [X]
<rade> so have u got a tree up yet?
<Selexion> like a file tree?
<rade> a christmas tree..
#189945 +(689)- [X]
<General> i love it when people bitch in a bar about smoking, though
<General> it's like "hey pal, i don't want to get lung cancer while i'm over here getting liver disease"
#189997 +(203)- [X]
<Catatonia> I wonder.. how much the american soldiers who found Saddam will get paid :)
<Andrea> catatonia, the guy who gave him up gets $25 million!
<nibbler> its iraqi powerball
#190051 +(1827)- [X]
<+Woody```> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
#190157 +(994)- [X]
<@Tezza> ROFLOLWOALDFVGWKLDBNMKEB NEWNBCUNTBLINGLOJEVFFRILS
<+Franschie> Wow, somebody else figure the acronym out
<pdRichard> rolling on the floor laughing out loud with only a large dick fucking very grandly within kevin's large, drunken buttocks nearly missing kevin's eerie blood?
<@cky> and the second part?
<pdRichard> never eaten wank, never been cum under, never took blowjobs - lying. into neverland goes laura, over jeff's evil veranda! final fantasy really is loadsa shit.
#190199 +(1150)- [X]
<Mooseka> IF GOD IS SO POWERFUL, WHY DID IT TAKE 7 DAYS TO CREATE THE EARTH.
<Mooseka> AND IF IT DID TAKE 7 DAYS, HOW LONG HAS IT TAKEN TO CREATE THE UNIVERSE?
<Mooseka> A PRETTY LONG TIME I'D THINK!
<Cef> to god a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is liek a day
<Cef> thats in the bible
<Mooseka> SO IT TOOK GOD 7000 YEARS TO MAKE THE EARTH?
<Mooseka> HOW THE FUCK IS HE POWERFUL THEN
<Mooseka> I COULD MAKE THE EARTH OUT OF LEGOS IN 7000 YEARS.
#190241 +(1735)- [X]
<Neo-Tokyo> wouldnt you say suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem?
<`> I'm a Buddhist, I'd say suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem.
#190258 +(248)- [X]
<Taz^> i seen your picutre
<Taz^> your like what 14 or 15
<Kevin666> 14, and alot smarter then you, in meny ways
#190273 +(774)- [X]
<Sion> does sound see if it sounds well how is it positioned on the mp3
<Sion> wtf did i just type
#190279 +(662)- [X]
<DY357LX> Anyone know where I can find some "good" kitten juggling websites?
#190336 +(575)- [X]
[@KiD_Zer0] i have to write about an incident in my life I can describe as a natural disaster
[Sub-Zer0] your birth
#190535 +(2054)- [X]
Quaestor> how frequently does a question need to be asked to be considered a Frequently Asked Question?
Archon11> 7 times in the US and 11 in Canada. The European Union is considering a common number of five, but Great Britain refuses to comply and insists on using its own number, six. China does not allow questions except in Hong Kong.
#190541 +(166)- [X]
LordKasreyn: Don't think of them as obituaries; think of them as love classifieds for necrophiliac morticians!
#190581 +(237)- [X]
audiobob: 4 real
audiobob: shut up
audiobob: noone wants to look or talk about your cock
titikaka: audiobob my apache logs say otherwise
#190712 +(49)- [X]
<Harl> micheal jkackson is being charged
<Harl> its ironic tho
<Harl> if he goes to jail
<Harl> Its ironic, because he who sodomized children, will now be sodomized by big men
<Zord`r`> well did he actually sodomize the children?
<Zord`r`> and not just someone wanting alot of cash
<Zord`r`> and frame some famous singer?
<Harl> ive never heard of white ugly women sodmizing little boys
#190724 +(417)- [X]
<davidbrit2> MS should change the XBox slogan.
<davidbrit2> "It's good to play together" doesn't quite cut it.
<davidbrit2> I think "Misery loves company" captures the spirit of the XBox.
#190832 +(2662)- [X]
<Robohunk> A friend of mine took an exam in his French class while on acid once. When friends asked him about it later, he said, "I think I did pretty well. I wrote this great story about a thunderstorm."
<Robohunk> The professor called him into his office soon afterwards and showed him the test. It was a piece of paper covered with the words "Noir noir noir, noir BLANC!!! noir noir noir noir noir, noir noir noir BLANC!!!" over and over.
#190965 +(550)- [X]
<Emokid01> I am always tempted to mumble "zerg rush" under my breath when I see Koreans on campus.
#191037 +(1951)- [X]
<Czarina> I've always had a hard time picturing hamsters in the wild. I get this mental image of a horde of them devouring a cow or something.
#191063 +(5047)- [X]
<Toller> hey jaimer
<Toller> i loves you sweet ass, baby
<jaimer> excuse me?
<Toller> we gonna get together an fuck tonight
<jaimer> You stupid shit
<jaimer> This is toby johnson, right
<Toller> you know it is, duh.
<jaimer> I'm doing tech support on Jamie's computer
<jaimer> I'm her father, you little shit
<Toller> your joking right/
<jaimer> I am. I know where you live. I'm coming over to your house now. Don't try to run, I'll find you.
<Toller> Jamie, it's not funny
<psmylie> You're screwed, dude. Her dad's psycho
<psmylie> best run, boy
*** Toller has quit IRC (Quit: )
<psmylie> You're an evil bitch, Jamie.
<psmylie> brilliant... but evil
<jaimer> he's an asshole anyways