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#166434 +(495)- [X]

<TheShadowHunter> Im still afraid to ask if I did anything unusual while on morphine. I dont remember it really affecting me at all but for all I know I couldve been running up and down the halls naked and pushing old people out of wheelchairs.
<TheShadowHunter> Thats something I prefer to do while entirely coherent.

#166449 +(253)- [X]

disinfo46and2 wants to send file C:Program FilesEvan's StuffStuffMR. BUNGLE  -  Squeeze Me Macaroni.mp3.
disinfo46and2: I wish this shit would bing or something when it's complete
Twinblade590: Lol
disinfo46and2: Seriousy, fucking AIM is less sophisticated than my microwave
disinfo46and2: Hell, my microwave plays a song when it's done

#166516 +(365)- [X]

<GreenFux> gym music always sounds like porn music for some reason
<Rakekniven> Same with 60's and 70's educational film strips.
<Rakekniven> Whoever would've guesed that Oxygen and Hydrogen enjoy bonding to the same music as Bunny Love and Brock Stiffy.
<opie> heh
<GreenFux> i think that i will formulate a theory that the universe is powered by hot steamy sex
<GreenFux> it makes more sense than string theory right away

#166558 +(354)- [X]

DesusGrimm: Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay!
DesusGrimm: someone actually put that as their info.
DesusGrimm: someone that I once made out with.
Lord Galadriel: meagan
DesusGrimm: fuck.
Lord Galadriel: lol

#166566 +(968)- [X]

<twanks> i met this chick at the bar the other day
<twanks> and she was all like "i wanna fuck your brains out" steamy woman...
<twanks> so i was all "hell yeh"
<twanks> so we come back to my place
<twanks> and she jumps on my bed, strips down
<twanks> then she opens her legs wide, begins strokin the ole axe wound
<twanks> and shes moaning and stuff
<twanks> and dude
<twanks> i reckon i coulda had sex

#166572 +(278)- [X]

<mm13> people who eat people
<mm13> are the hungriest people

#166683 +(1332)- [X]

<zP|Russina`cs> the teacher was like justin did you do your homework
<zP|Russina`cs> i was like no forgot to
<zP|Russina`cs> shes like well thats bad news
<zP|Russina`cs> i was like well i got some good news i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance

#166809 +(951)- [X]

<DigiB0t>  Coming Up : ' Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening '! Your current DJ is : MaxxSpawn!  We currently have   0 listeners.

#166906 +(618)- [X]

<emlodro> what country is exe
<think> binary islands

#166910 +(821)- [X]

<schnorks> OFFICIAL ATOMIC TIME: 11:41:28PM CDT
<Sigma> OMG schnorks has the A-BOMB
<schnorks> No, the atomic time has nothing to do with weapons of any sort.
<Coco13> schnorks is correct.
<Coco13> The second is based on the wavelength of a particular atom.
<schnorks> What about the first?
<Coco13> You are such a fucking whore.

#166920 +(1384)- [X]

<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.

#166937 +(355)- [X]

DittzieBlondee06: is she a better kisser then me
DittzieBlondee06: haha
onkeybutt87: haha, I wish I knew
DittzieBlondee06: hahaha
DittzieBlondee06: i bet ya do
DittzieBlondee06: lol
onkeybutt87: I'll just have to use my imagination
DittzieBlondee06: yep
DittzieBlondee06: ya will
onkeybutt87: or chloroform

#166952 +(447)- [X]

<RoyCastle> i think my body is compensating for my not eating anything by delving deeper into insanity
<RoyCastle> like earlier I was looking at a picture of a dead cat on the internet and for a moment it made me understand multivariable calculus
<mflynn00> liar
<RoyCastle> k.. it was midget pr0n

#166956 +(6059)- [X]

[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake

#167054 +(832)- [X]

(@[e]space) going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion

#167081 +(314)- [X]

<dekk> your mom lost her virginity in a penis accident
<[b&]shoez> i lost my penis in a virginity accident

#167145 +(246)- [X]

<@maroo> I jumped off a bridge into a river once... they asked me what I was doing... I told them I was LARPing a fish.

#167230 +(1071)- [X]

<Trekkie> this ant has run around 15 times around the screen of my monitor
<IceBerg> kill it with ur mouse
<Trekkie> i tried clicking on him; he wont die
<IceBerg> no you nerd, smash it with your mouse

#167247 +(1279)- [X]

<squid> This spider is such an asshole.
<Sushi-X> y dont u just smash it with impunity?
<squid> It's on the ceiling, and I am not.
<Sushi-X> tell it to come down and fight like a man....or you can climb and fight like a spider

#167361 +(1212)- [X]

<Lachlan> Doogie, what the fuck do you think the emergency generators are there for?
<Doogie> ummm....
<Sam> Generating Emergencies.

#167435 +(811)- [X]

<despair> I need a nigger HD :(
<despair> b
<despair> bigger
<despair> omfg... bad ass typo

#167524 +(834)- [X]

<AV-Cables> np: [ - ] [06:05m]
<Frozen-Solid> god DAMN your tags suck av.
<AV-Cables> I know. :D
<AV-Cables> No, I have to re-tag them.
<AV-Cables> I just converted ALL my songs to 192kbps.
<AV-Cables> And the Smashing...LIVE! soundtrack to 320kbps.
<Frozen-Solid> uh....
<Frozen-Solid> converted from what...?
<AV-Cables> 128kbps

#167569 +(615)- [X]

<Lointamer> oh crap...kids found my vibrators again

#167574 +(396)- [X]

<kinkos> can you use a tesla coil as a sexual toy?
<Aegis`> yah, but only once.
<kinkos> once is all i need!

#167594 +(686)- [X]

<Ilendil> If two stick people had sex, would it start a fire?

#167698 +(1996)- [X]

<ancho> do girls like it if you stick your hand up there ass??
<ancho> hurry plz.. im in the middle of something

#167731 +(909)- [X]

TrivBaby: QUESTION:  1992 - what did the church of england allow women to become?
catman1229: men
destinatas: priests
destinatas: clergy
ZaDaRoN: members
LmRiVaRaT: sluts
QuarkSoupXYZ: pregnanat
LmRiVaRaT: bitches
destinatas: queens
LmRiVaRaT: hoes
ZaDaRoN: divorced
LmRiVaRaT: whores
dbcpool: voters

#167746 +(347)- [X]

<Mr_Vain> I'd rather have an admirer than a stalker any day
<Phrim> what's the difference, Bonz? :-)
<Mr_Vain> a stalker doesn't blink when they look at you
<Mr_Vain> it's very unnerving

#167799 +(446)- [X]

<Zombie_Punk> You bastards wouldn't know a Clerks reference if it analy raped your mother while pouring sugar in your gastank.

#167825 +(456)- [X]

* ol has joined #mapcore
<Flashdevil> I will rub my sperm in so many places that they won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror without getting pregnant.
<ol> um... did i come in at a bad time?

#167837 +(135)- [X]

<Trife> black kids don't even dress up over here, they just come over and say 'can i have candy'
<sloth> yeah
<sloth> dude
<sloth> one had a trash bag on
<kokanin> hey
<kokanin> they're dressed as flying eyes and teeth!
<Trife> last year the black kids came back the next day trying to sell me candy

#167844 +(1063)- [X]

<ZS> Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
<Kevyn> What's scary about heaven?
<Phantomlord> dude, christians hang out there.

#167863 +(1460)- [X]

<jaymeekae> i feel so american
<Moonman> you shot someone?

#167873 +(402)- [X]

<`Riku> Ok, so there's this UN meeting, and there are a lot of important people in there discussing how to get a peace in Iraq
<`Riku> after the meeting the President of France comes to George Bush and says: "Mr. Bush, there's something I'd like to ask... My son is a huge Star Trek fan, and he'd like to know why there are no Arabians on the show?"
<`Riku> Bush thinks a second, then smirks and says;
<`Riku> "Cause it takes place in the future."

#167874 +(1078)- [X]

<ppolf>  I told my brother if you take the cotton wool bit out of a vics inhaler and rubbed it under your eyes, you see in black and white.
<ppolf> He kicked my fucking head in after bawling his eyes out for two hours.

#168090 +(851)- [X]

herblackwings29:: I'm bored
shotgunlo:: me too
shotgunlo:: but I'm also hungry
herblackwings29:: I have tacos
shotgunlo:: mmm
herblackwings29:: they are like cardboard though
shotgunlo:: I would love to eat your taco, Becky
herblackwings29:: I bet
herblackwings29:: my taco doesn't taste like cardboard
shotgunlo:: I love the fact that you know that

#168093 +(24)- [X]

* Now talking in #israel
<Idiot-boy> Hey #israel!  Soo... hitler.

#168123 +(513)- [X]

<BeadGrl> just call me Mrs. Robinson
<Greek> haha
<ZekeMacNeil> Beadgrl likes her men in the same manner that she likes her scotch. 
<BeadGrl> aged 18 years in a barrel?

#168191 +(1156)- [X]

<ChaosReactor> RIAA is tricksy try to tricks us.
<ChaosReactor> Try to take away our precious!

#168238 +(163)- [X]

Captain Ferrell:  they're not all
Captain Ferrell:  exactly
Demosthenes:  Wow, that was a lot of adjectives
Captain Ferrell:  it sounded like an anime title

#168269 +(25)- [X]

<Arran> brb, loo.
<Stirfry_Ninja> arran is anally retentive
<aussie_singh> :p
<Stirfry_Ninja> :D
<EvoX> he rents his anus??!!

#168320 +(1150)- [X]

<darko``> Heh, funny how ignore doesn't completely ignores certain nicks/masks. Some kind of messages still pass by.
<Ashe> Guess you have a crappy client
<darko``> Maybe it's just my client though :/
<Ashe> Guess I'm the one ignored

#168702 +(570)- [X]

<wilywampa> dazey said i'm almost out of money and said i need to get a job
<wilywampa> i said i could steal money instead
<wilywampa> and she asked from whom
<wilywampa> i said "from old ladies, i can steal their money and beat them to death"
<wilywampa> and she said "that's awful, why would you do something like that?"
<wilywampa> i said "because babies don't have money"

#168857 +(1129)- [X]

<mojo> I want me a pet monkey.
<Synthetic> My aunt had one, the smell was ungodly. It was allways beating off and if it got scared it would deficate in it's hand a throw it.
<mojo> I know, that's why I want one. If it can beat it's self off then I can teach it how to do it to me.
<synthetic> ...
<Capin> Um... so anyway I went to the zoo this one time and one of the gorillas stole my dad's wallet!
<Synthetic> That was no gorilla, it was a black guy in a fur coat. The son of a bitch has my shoes.
<mojo> I still want a monkey if anybody cares.

#168859 +(5165)- [X]

<FreeFrag> The most secure computer in the world is one not connected to the internet.
<FreeFrag> Thats why I recommend Telstra ADSL.

#168917 +(533)- [X]

Kirby: So like this one time I was fucking this dude in the ass and then I threw up on his back.
ZAn3Yt: I didn't now you were gay Kirby...
katchup: He isn't, that was a shakespeare quote.

#168935 +(500)- [X]

<Dareon> I wonder where my package is.
<Valvados> checked between your legs?
<Dareon> If it was there, I wouldn't be so bored right now, would I?

#169167 +(38)- [X]

Geeky Weezer Fan: Is she still downright refusing head?
onkeybutt87: haha
onkeybutt87: I haven't really asked her since Saturday
onkeybutt87: but I think so, yeah
onkeybutt87: why?
Geeky Weezer Fan: Slit her throat.
onkeybutt87: well, I guess that's one way to get it in there...

#169172 +(575)- [X]

« Kil88|Savage » i'm gonna have a polo with my name on it :D
<Bennie> im gonna get some boxers with <dick> on the front
<Bennie> then im gonna get a sock
« Squeeb » lol :)
« Squeeb » ace
<Bennie> with </dick> on
<Bennie> :D
« Squeeb » LMAO

#169607 +(1503)- [X]

(SnapScan): hablais español?
(Picasso-): I would like TWO soft tacos and a large pepsi

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