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#161969 +(246)- [X]

<Taslos>  I know there are no life gaurds on the gene pool, but God damn it there aught to be at least a few sharks in the water.

#162004 +(400)- [X]

customer24601: what's that sound?
macholyoke: me banging my head against my desk.
customer24601: why are you banging your head against the desk.
macholyoke: so I can speak to you in terms you'll understand, you retard.

#162007 +(242)- [X]

<NekkidRisu> Oh wow
<Snakerboy> what?
<NekkidRisu> That's the first time I've fully shaved my nutsack, and by fucking god does it feel so cool.
<NekkidRisu> Err
<NekkidRisu> Shit
<NekkidRisu> You shouldn't have seen that. Just like, imagine it's not there or something

#162018 +(333)- [X]

[4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> dude my brother is wacking off
[4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> eww
<+little-mac> ZombiE_FreaK,go lend him a hand
<ZombiE_FreaK> ^_^ BRB ^_^
<+little-mac> omg

#162023 +(241)- [X]

<McFarlan> Those bastards did somthing terrible today
<McFarlan> They put a big picture of Goatse in the lunchroom trash can at breakfast this morning
<McFarlan> People would come to dump thier trays...and stop and look down in the trash
<McFarlan> It was really funny, but wrong at the same time :/
<Flex-Work> i would have thrown up
<Flex-Work> :P
<McFarlan> I thought a couple were
<McFarlan> Then the principal walks over
<McFarlan> Grabs the trashcan, and walks out of the cafeteria
<Moonsaber> Do you think they linked it to you? :-)
<McFarlan> I'm hoping not

#162081 +(180)- [X]

<ByteSize> warez = abrv. from "where is"
<ByteSize> right?

#162090 +(217)- [X]

* Krazed has joined #dynamite-hosting
<Ohm`laptop> wb

#162093 +(497)- [X]

*** Quits: tubgirl (Excess Flood)

#162151 +(411)- [X]

<brainchasm> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and hang a little curtain

#162152 +(210)- [X]

<Barracuda_Sanchez> i have a pubic hair on my moniter
<Barracuda_Sanchez> i thought it was a comma

#162166 +(374)- [X]

<DizzDvl> didja know that a bee's penis breaks off in the queen and she saves it for later?
<rabbit> saves it for later for what?
<DizzDvl> saves it for later when she needs to fertilize eggs
<MoouadDib> if the queen's next lover isn't as good she slaps him with the penis of previous lovers

#162189 +(1243)- [X]

<ANDYHAZARD> i need a file
<kenners> you misspelled "life"

#162191 +(351)- [X]

(+comatosis) I DID IT! my first fucking mod! I took off my video card fan which is puny shit and added a BIG one :P
(+comatosis) how much performance will i gain
(+t0by`) none

#162234 +(352)- [X]

<jolt> this sucks
<jolt> i joined #insomniacs, but they're all sleeping

#162299 +(232)- [X]

<smapdi> in an attempt to get me to stop drinking and smoking so much pot and get motivated twords computers my dad got me dsl
<smapdi> basically, all he acomplished was a way for me to get alot of pr0n

#162306 +(352)- [X]

<razzberri> but by the time i shower and get prettied up it will be raining again :
<Shiva-TPF-> by the time I shower and get prettied up the sun will have burnt out.

#162321 +(723)- [X]

<robot_touch> My town was too poor to have a priest.  Our nun had to use a strap-on.

#162323 +(595)- [X]

<Deltan> I think that machine needs a reboot
<Deltan> Try to edit the net adapter properties.  "An unexpected error has occured" with an OK button.
<Deltan> Where's the, "No it's not fucking OK" button.

#162330 +(771)- [X]

*** Signoff: AntiNorm (Quit: Client Exiting)
<BaconStation> somewhere in the universe, a Norm also quits IRC.

#162334 +(263)- [X]

(@[I]vo) i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk if i could turn water into wine

#162354 +(282)- [X]

21:28 < tijmen> WHO wants to meet a very handsome boy?
21:28 -!- harma [pkobjb@quakenet.org] has left #sweden.ladies []
21:28 -!- zn1tz]MiniMilk [gusse@quakenet.org] has quit [Signed off]
21:29 -!- wMa|Syph3r^ [syph3r_02@quakenet.org] has left #sweden.ladies []
21:29 -!- Archer|cs [_BiTCh_Arc@quakenet.org] has quit [Signed Off]

#162460 +(413)- [X]

Last night, I was looking up at the stars, and I thought to myself, where the fuck is my ceiling?!?

#162468 +(11)- [X]

(NooDLe) the next stage of female evolution
(NooDLe) will come with inbuilt oven
(NooDLe) and no vocal chords

#162475 +(349)- [X]

<kurai> lol this is the best warning ever looklook:
<kurai> This is your brain -> O
<kurai> This is your brain on drugs -> o
<kurai> This is your butthole -> o
<kurai> This is your butthole in prison -> O

#162486 +(1042)- [X]

<Octane> I was once watching this documentary on Discovery channel.
<Octane> They had this Asian family cooking scorpions.
<Octane> The reporter asked one of the family members, "what does it taste like?"
<Octane> The family member responded, "tastes like penguin".

#162487 +(3356)- [X]

<Ocher> hey guyz
<Ocher> o god...
<Ocher> i think my brother has a wireless kb plugged in
<Ocher> yep...
<Ocher> he does...
<Ocher> argh brb
* Ocher is now known as Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz
<Ocher`Beastiality`Pwnz> O SHIT HERE HE COMES

#162490 +(647)- [X]

<Trivvie> Name That Dinosaur: __________ ?
<Trivvie> 1st Hint: ****************** ********** Question Value : 5 Points
<Trivvie> 3rd Hint: Lan*a**ia**o*au*u* *a**ue**i* 15.0 secs & 1 Points Remaining
<Trivvie> Times up! The answer was -> Lancanjiangosaurus Cachuensis

#162513 +(310)- [X]

* flyback- has joined #asm
* flyback- gets off his mom'
* flyback- gets off his mom's crappy laptop
<Spec-Chum> haha
<Spec-Chum> bad typo

#162529 +(312)- [X]

<LilPest> I can't, my computer's broken
<ChOeL> well
<Chibs> Do it yourself then

#162595 +(1244)- [X]

<Mary> will you come to my friend from schools engagement party?
<John> where?
<Mary> hamilton
<John> when?
<Mary> this Saturday
<John> no.
<Mary> Please?? why not?
<John> I dont know her and it will suck
<Mary> You can dance with me!
<John> :)/-<  <-- Me
<John> :)-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)|-<  <-- Me
<John> :)|-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)-<  <-- Me
<John> :)/-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> :)|-<  <-- Me
<John> :)|-<  <-- You
<John> -
<John> Me -->  8====D~ O:  <--- You
<Mary> thats cute!
<John> if you only knew, babe.
<Mary> knew what?? HEY whats the last part mean?

#162603 +(296)- [X]

BOSS: hey
BOSS: you know this one website?
A7X: yeah
A7X: thats a cool site

#162616 +(378)- [X]

Rann XXV: Geez. Story on "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" about two guys that tried to invent a sport called "parabungee", a combination of skydiving and bungee jumping. And, gee, one of them got hurt when it all fucked up. Right now, God is STILL thinking, "Why the hell isn't that fucker dead?", while Darwin spins in his grave.

#162635 +(288)- [X]

xstar: i saw a license plate that said :
xstar: i wanted to hit him
xstar: hard
xstar: in the face
xstar: with a bat

#162646 +(354)- [X]

<disturbed>> I have a fear... of EGGS. I know it's silly and my girlfriend makes fun of me saying I have EGGNAPHOBIA. But I have had this problem my whole life... EGGS actually scare me.
<disturbed> When people talk about omlettes for example, I feel sick in my stomach... I physically cannot touch EGGS as I get shivery and feel ill and if I see someone eating an EGG sandwich I get a nervous twitch (always in my right eye) and I literally have to leave the room. Even the smell of EGGS makes me feel faint.
<disturbed> I think it's because EGGS are from chicken's butts and that always deeply disturbed me as a kid... I think it developed from there.
<skelm> you have some really serious issues...

#162647 +(506)- [X]

absorb: seamus
absorb: why
absorb: dont
absorb: you
absorb: kiss
absorb: my big
absorb: DICK
absorb: you bitchass pussylift
Seamus: absorb: because your dick is about as long as your average message length

#162653 +(224)- [X]

Wryol: Ouch
Blood4Shame: What?
Wryol: Nothing
Blood4Shame: What is wrong hun?
Wryol: ......brb
Blood4Shame: Ok?
Wryol: Accidentally cumming on cuts burns and stings more than Peroxcide.
Blood4Shame: Aww...  Well it's calcium, so good for the bones, right?
Wryol: ...Remind me never to mention things like that to you again.

#162667 +(750)- [X]

[tim:] fuck this game
[tim:] the more you beat it the harder it gets
[tim:] ... oh god.
[tim:] that was never going to sound right.

#162689 +(802)- [X]

<vrtny> my boobs hurt
<vrtny> anyone wanna masage them ?
<Tremor> well maybe some other time
<Tremor> im still installing php atm

#162719 +(689)- [X]

<insanity> "Before the internet, the village idiot would stay in his own village."

#162735 +(168)- [X]

<Aguilera> DCC Exploit Affecting 6.12
<Aguilera> Breaking News. On Oct 20, another exploit was identified which can crash even the recently released version 6.12
<Dabz> lol
<Dabz> since when did microsoft make mirc?

#162804 +(743)- [X]

<Katsmall> :( My boyfriend is in the hospital and nobody knows what he has!
<spknsp3ll> katsmall: what are you doing tonite?
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Griefing.
<spknsp3ll> well if youd like some consoling, i could prolly squeeze an hour in or two
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Okay... Come on by. I'm very horny.
* spknsp3ll scores
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Just note, that he got it right after me fucking him, and also that I'm a man.

#162822 +(293)- [X]

<D5_work> "I am having trouble logging in"
<D5_work> 'your username is case sensitive'
<D5_work> "But I know my username is case-sensitive"
<D5_work> 'okay, let's look at your account'
<D5_work> 'what's in the username field?'
<D5_work> "I told you, it's 'case-sensitive'"

#162827 +(335)- [X]

<rutabaga> I remember one tiem I was trickortreating and this guy ansered the door in assless chaps and a cowboy hat
<rutabaga> that was the scaeryist haloween evar

#162899 +(1290)- [X]


#162916 +(578)- [X]

<Voices> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones!

#162936 +(281)- [X]

Bebej210: I really miss you Tim.
Bebej210: Except for the whole sodomy thing.

#162955 +(204)- [X]

<Vespertine>  I dare you to take out your cock... lay it on the keyboard.. starting at "A" and tell us what letter it ends at....
<Kairu_Hakubi> umm ok
<Kairu_Hakubi> i prolly cant get a good erection right now
<Kairu_Hakubi> so youll get a soft reading
<Vespertine> ok./
<Kairu_Hakubi> just barely goes to h
<Vespertine> oh
<Vespertine> ....

#162996 +(572)- [X]

<Kosmo`> Why is it called PUBLIC hair if it's on a "private" part?
<pakz> you moron! it's not PUBLIC, it's PUBIC
<Kosmo`> uh... really!?!? HOLY SHIT!
<pakz> what?
<Kosmo`> hehe, now I see why my girlfriend laughed when I asked her "why don't you shave your public hair?"

#163006 +(214)- [X]

<mmrafk> wtf does the "E" in E-Mail stand for
<mmrafk> express-mail ?

#163022 +(692)- [X]

<MunInFull> Back in a minute. Gotta speak to the Evil One and negotiate the release of the chocolate hostages.
<Prometheus> because god forbid the man could say "take a shit"

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