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#146063 +(891)- [X]

<Volksweasel> cool...there's a TON of cardinals on the tree outside my window
<enaz> cardinals are usually safe, it's the priests you have to watch out for

#146073 +(1993)- [X]

<BChikapa> wan 2 cybar?
<Calisa> We have sex three times, it's fun, I get pregnant, Jimmy needs a daddy.
<BChikapa> I refuse to pay child support, and lengthy leagal battles ensue.
<Calisa> Jimmy becomes torn by his dashed hopes of having a father, so he murders you while you're sleeping on the job at the toll booth.
<BChikapa> All my family members despise me, and as a result no one has any money to pay for my disposal.
<BChikapa> I am unceremoniously dumped into the Hudson River, wrapped in a cheap plastic tarp.

#146075 +(347)- [X]

<Fistandantilus> It's unpleasing, to see a bunch of xylophone ribs poking out the sides of a girl... I imagine it'd be like sticking my dick into a pillow sack full of greased coathangers.

#146190 +(255)- [X]

<Shiv_TXS> are you having phone sex or something?
<Twiztid> no
<Twiztid> some girl answered

#146191 +(244)- [X]

<FlypServ> ive only known two eq addicted people, one grew up and the other dumped me to work on her character

#146192 +(65)- [X]

<Raptor> ---
<Raptor> very funny ad...
<Raptor> and is alien-homonoid coming to Gamecube or PS2 or both?
<Raptor> Because they are both very fine systems and X-Box,Well... It can rot in hell with Bill Gates, The evilest man to walk the earth.
<Raptor> ---
<Raptor> Yes, compared to Bill Gates, Ghengis Khan was a fucking saint, and don't even get me started on some Chinese Emperors and Stalin, they could be like fucking Jesus! God damn that Bill Gates is a plight upon man.
<Ross> Hey now, Ghengis Khan did a lot of good
<Ross> He made Russia rich, and re-opened the silk road
<Ross> AND he killed 800,000 arabs in a week

#146193 +(645)- [X]

<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out

#146205 +(-191)- [X]

<BluePhoenix> I predict that in 500 years, everyone will be the same color.
<@Measure> well after we rocket all the blacks into the sun, sure

#146343 +(714)- [X]

<[UMCP]TROGDOR> explain to me why i need to defragment my disk
<[UMCP]TROGDOR> whats the advantage
<[UMCP]commieboy> faster access speed
<[UMCP]commieboy> Saint Google may be to your aide.
<[UMCP]TROGDOR> it says its moving all my files
<[UMCP]commieboy> yessir

#146402 +(309)- [X]

(bigwurm) if your concerned about the ammount of cpu time an onboard sound card uses, you should really get a new cpu + mobo
(@|-ZenitH-|) or a life

#146425 +(546)- [X]

<stray> i gotweed.net
<stray> im gonna gethigh.org
<drew-> havefun.com/youfuckingidiot

#146497 +(6993)- [X]

<DemonEater> wtf
<DemonEater> ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
<DemonEater> who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh bouncy

#146650 +(425)- [X]

<HumanHead> :/
<HumanHead> I tried to pull a drew at Video Warehouse
<HumanHead> <me> Do you have any job openings?
<HumanHead> <guy> no positions are open right now
<HumanHead> <me> that only means one thing...SOMEONE MUST DIE
<HumanHead> *me is asked to leave

#146656 +(1389)- [X]

<Errata> f y cn rd ths y cn gt gd jb n cmptr prgrmng

#146822 +(1455)- [X]

(Bass_EXE): reminds me of this one time.. this girl said 'HA! and what would you guys do without us women?!' I just replied 'domesticate another animal.'

#146929 +(145)- [X]

<@Oedipus> Hoe chit.
<@Oedipus> Another winning porno idea.
<@Oedipus> "The Crying Game"
<@Oedipus> We get some poor dude to come and do it with some chick.
<@Oedipus> When everything is getting all sexy and intimate they get naked.
<@Oedipus> BAM!
<@Oedipus> Shemale willy!

#146982 +(310)- [X]

MasochisticAngyl: what i wouldn't give for some flesh or pancres covered in blood right now
XxJoeZeroxX: pancreas?
MasochisticAngyl: thank you for the correction
XxJoeZeroxX: wasnt intended as such, more as a question as to why this organ was singled out.
MasochisticAngyl: the sweetest one
XxJoeZeroxX: i somehow have the feeling being involved with you is going to get me in trouble one day.

#146984 +(128)- [X]

<dsf> or cut or paste or copy
<|M|R|> well that was my Question when my mom brought me to this world :D

#146989 +(266)- [X]

<Entriech> Theatre tickets are 91$ at the cheapest?
<Entriech> Jesus Christ.
<Entriech> What do they think I am, made of money?
<Entriech> Cause even if I was, that's like sawing my dick in half for theatre tickets.

#146993 +(219)- [X]

* Trust is back from "" (Away for 32330secs (08:58:50))
<elDiablo> O_O
* Trust is away "Upgrading Away Script" at Monday September 15th 2003 05:07:44pm GMT

#146994 +(234)- [X]

<Monkey> Won't you take me to Funky Town?
<triple6> I'm not going that way, sorry.

#146996 +(300)- [X]

<Ransid> i did tech support for a day before i quit when someone asked me whats double clicking

#147008 +(240)- [X]

<curse|sleeeep> i think i'm calling in to work tomorrow
<curse|sleeeep> i'm coughing up things that aren't even mine
<Zomb-mar> next time spit and dont swallow

#147010 +(293)- [X]

+icnocop> any advice on what program to use to compare two files like windiff or something?
@theForger> how aobut windiff
@Wyatt> huhuhu
@Wyatt> or something.
+icnocop> ok i guess it's good enough. thanks
+rottle> haha
+rottle> that was the most pointless thing ever

#147015 +(273)- [X]

<Comanche> fuck off windows with your low dick space thing.
<Comanche> err. *disk :P
<Kim> LOL
<Comanche> typo :P
<xeon> lol, warning no dick found

#147016 +(191)- [X]

<DAWg> AHHHHH!!!! hjorten kill my teacher....today's lesson is a intro to windows 2000
<DAWg> "this is a mouse"
<Hjorten> haha
<DAWg> "this is a monitor"
<DAWg> "ctrl+c copies"
<DAWg> fucking christ

#147017 +(147)- [X]

<@ritual> life.
<@SharkDeath> Installed it about 20 minutes ago.
<@SharkDeath> Haven't played it yet tho.
<@ritual> got one hour 20 mins left on download

#147018 +(325)- [X]

<x0b> hey
<@wrong> HI
<x0b> suh wrong
<x0b> everything alright
<x0b> or
<x0b> all wrong
<x0b> :P
<|iquid> haa haa
<|iquid> you're very funny x0b
<|iquid> painfully funny
<|iquid> I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you to hang yourself.

#147020 +(121)- [X]

<Pico> I might have to reinstall Win...I mean, GAYdows
<Killfrenzy> *snrk*
<Steve> Hey! I take offense to that!
<Steve> I have sucked MUCH less cock than Windows has!

#147026 +(200)- [X]

Phazer: 24 Billion served?
Nic: Yeah, I'm that good.
Peter: Or, that easy.

#147027 +(409)- [X]

*Isabel has entered #icybercafe
<isabel> Altitude: 6-52 meters above sealevel. Speed: 62 mi/hr. Location: Eastern seaboard.
<whitemithrandir> coo. wanna cyber?
*Isabel has left #icybercafe

#147029 +(515)- [X]

<TriviaBot>  BIG.1372. Norse mythology: What killed Baldur ?
<TriviaBot>  1st Hint: *********   Question Value : 3 Points
<Darric> his gate
<kutuzov> a gate
<sheoul> lol
<Darric> lolol
<sheoul> NERDS!

#147182 +(915)- [X]

<@Zero> adding an h next to an s in every word spices it up
<@Zero> shpanks, shandels, shaffire, shilly, shaddup
<Red_Baron> until you tell your dog to sit

#147236 +(230)- [X]

<-yptosis> Hey, I took a picture of my wang like df did. Let me upload it.
<-yptosis> It'll take a bit, it is a 9 meg file.

#147245 +(192)- [X]

BuXtonZer0: i dunno why its such a good combo
BuXtonZer0: the goldfish are crunchy and cheesy, while the coke is cold, refreshing, sweet, and breaks down the goldfish
Benihana420: and your teeth
Benihana420: at the same time
BuXtonZer0: another plus

#147249 +(935)- [X]

<spender> listen gentlemen
<spender> i will tell you a tale
<spender> of an interesting proof
<spender> it came to me in a vision
<spender> it proceeds as follows:
<spender> Claim: The set of functions f : |N -> { 0, 1 } is uncountable
<spender> Proof:
* kronixx thinkz spender needs a gf
<spender> SILENCE

#147262 +(160)- [X]

<Robotzombie> love is never having to say I wish you didn't have a nutsack
<Robotzombie> well, maybe it's not

#147265 +(143)- [X]

<Firien> damn girls
* iBaller will never understand them
<Firien> they drive you round the bend
<Firien> and then charge you for the petrol :P
<iBaller> XD

#147270 +(966)- [X]

<pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an illegal opperation
<cCCPehlet`> isn't that what kazaa is designed to do?

#147273 +(389)- [X]

onkeybutt87: I have no work ethic
onkeybutt87: or ethics
onkeybutt87: in a related note, I'm going to go hit babies

#147274 +(252)- [X]

Dieldo: Heh no way, the best is Tantric sex
AnalRetribuiton: well i am the master of something i have come to call
AnalRetribuiton: wtf'ing
AnalRetribuiton: it's where i have sex with a girl finish in 3 seconds and she goes "what the fuck?"
Dieldo: Lol

#147275 +(441)- [X]

<{gy}IRONMAN> I don't think Arnold will be elected.
<{gy}IRONMAN> Being a movie star isn't enough. We saw that with Reagan
<Paralysis> Damn, and all this time I thought Reagan got elected

#147278 +(681)- [X]

<bleak> ablsh vwls! vwls r spm!
<bleak> t's wll knwn fct tht vwls s t mch bndwdth
<Alanna> bleak: OMG, for a moment there I thought that you had learned Welsh

#147279 +(182)- [X]

* hunterkll kneels and prays liek a good knight
<hunterkll> hunterkll: you have earned 10 virtue points and 5 strengthpoints
<hunterkll> and access to two hints
<hunterkll> heh :D
<jgannon> However, you still have -8 charisma.

#147320 +(593)- [X]

<Crispy`> My teacher let me Clear the junk off the student computers in class today. Total AIM Buddy Lists cleared for good: 5 Total videos of kiddy porn deleted: 3 Total MILF Hunter videos deleted: 4 Total Virus games downloaded off kazaa in hopes it will be the right game: 7 Knowing I'm not alone: Priceless.

#147463 +(1284)- [X]

<Zap> back from raev lol.
<Protected> raev?
<Gray|ogl> raev = a codename for gaybar, only gaypeople know about it
<Gray|ogl> doh.

#147493 +(311)- [X]

<-yper-orse> mamma mia
<-yper-orse> my my
<-yper-orse> i cannot resist u
<-yper-orse> mamma mia
<Squeeks> "With Dragon Voice, you too can flood IRC Channels as you sing to ABBA"

#147497 +(419)- [X]

<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7 manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'

#147498 +(307)- [X]

<mungbean> using VB is like masturbating with a cheese grater.

#147503 +(588)- [X]

<Lisy-lis> ..am I a geek for trying to make the top quotes on bash have exactly 1337 votes?

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0.1282 21077 quotes approved; 397 quotes pending
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