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#2539 +(361)- [X]

(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex

#2542 +(276)- [X]

<PolestaR> what the hell is a segway
<Marudek> we already have electric wheel chairs
<PolestaR> how fast is it?
<DooD> about 15 mph
<PolestaR> pfft
<PolestaR> i can have sex quicker then that

#2544 +(694)- [X]

<bunni> your dick is small!!!
<bunni> i can't even see it!!!
<monkey> because i am girl!!!!

#2545 +(154)- [X]

<IceWizard> it doesnt take a girl to suck a dick

#2546 +(385)- [X]

<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi

#2549 +(550)- [X]

<eras3r> who the hell is digdug?
<element_a> he used to be an old video game
<element_a> then he mutated into an IRC user after someone stole his shovel
<element_a> tragic

#2550 +(1104)- [X]

<limited7> i have for(n = 1; n < 99; n = n /2) why is it loopin forever?

#2551 +(356)- [X]

<Amanda> And do these people in the STD medication commercials really have the advertised diseases, and if not, how much extra do they get paid to say that they do?

#2552 +(416)- [X]

<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"

#2553 +(622)- [X]

<PrEs_WhO> in 50 years there will be only 2 english word
<PrEs_WhO> fuck and Dude

#2555 +(733)- [X]

<@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again

#2556 +(446)- [X]

<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and glasses, then it lets u on

#2557 +(447)- [X]

<cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her "dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"

#2558 +(1539)- [X]

<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is

#2559 +(1017)- [X]

<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize

#2562 +(595)- [X]

<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq

#2563 +(864)- [X]

<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity.

#2564 +(470)- [X]

<Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad, next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media

#2566 +(209)- [X]

<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE

#2567 +(316)- [X]

* terra melts JDigital
* JDigital melts
* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie

#2570 +(808)- [X]

<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"

#2571 +(243)- [X]

Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?

#2574 +(520)- [X]

<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just died

#2575 +(378)- [X]

<Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English

#2576 +(395)- [X]

<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.

#2579 +(952)- [X]

<peng> NOT JUST A PEN
<peng> A LIGHT UP PEN
<peng> IT GLOWED
<peng> IT WAS AWESOME
<peng> IT GAVE ME JOY
<Amanda> SHE WANTED IT AS A TOKEN BY WHICH TO REMEMBER YOU
<peng> I think she used it as a dildo.

#2580 +(91)- [X]

<salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL

#2583 +(327)- [X]

<kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha

#2585 +(518)- [X]

<Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
<wild-> Lepper_: that was me
<wild-> u heat it in the microwave
<SYch0> wtf

#2586 +(85)- [X]

<wild-> u want to know a good jacking method?
<wild-> get a baggie
<wild-> dump some lube in it
<wild-> then stick yer dick in it
<wild-> and throw everything between the boxspring and matress
<wild-> then go to town
<BlackDeth> you're a masturbating champion
<wild-> BlackDeth: i wish i could claim i invented it :( but i stole it from www.jackinworld.com

#2587 +(59)- [X]

*** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
<mxman> wtf
<mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(

#2589 +(348)- [X]

[Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good looking arse

#2590 +(617)- [X]

<Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory

#2595 +(54)- [X]

<matts_> Okay! So  I go to cnn.com and I see about this B1 bomber down! Oh no! :( And then i click on it, and it's a page about the osama bin laden video tape!
<nitr8`> the video is online? or just a description?
<matts_> description
<matts_> no, it's online, the warez group already have it in divx format
<nitr8`> heh..gimme the ftp info
<Nathan--> how the fuck did they do that?
<matts_> Osama_Bin_Laden_VideoTape-12/12/01-FoT
<Plot> what?
<Nathan--> man. this makes no sense, how are they supposed to get the video so soon?
<matts_> I was kidding

#2596 +(362)- [X]

<jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.

#2601 +(474)- [X]

<async> Violus: the ICQ protocol is about as good as your performance in bed
<Violus> woah, sweet
* Violus installs ICQ

#2602 +(56)- [X]

<shagie> srt.. he would sit at his table, scratching his scalp and make a HUGE PILE of dandruff and PLAY with it all SRT

#2604 +(361)- [X]

<zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji

#2605 +(3737)- [X]

* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.

#2606 +(55)- [X]

<BlackDeth> warez b dum
<BlackDeth> go traffic cocaine
<BlackDeth> if you want to traffic illegal goods
<BlackDeth> do smth useful

#2613 +(434)- [X]

<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.

#2614 +(199)- [X]

<wild-> i like to play this game where i see how far i can stick my arm up someone's ass before their heart stops beating

#2615 +(140)- [X]

<fate-> right, people here aren't running a charity
<fate-> it's one big mental maturbation session

#2617 +(2522)- [X]

<Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.

#2618 +(81)- [X]

*** QvtQht is now known as TomHanks
*** AMANDA is now known as MegRyan
<TomHanks> {S gotmail

#2629 +(436)- [X]

<spazzer> ahh fuck
<spazzer> i did it again
<spazzer> spilled tap ramen juice in my lap twice
<Cured> see and I thought you were just singing along to Britney Spears

#2632 +(150)- [X]

<spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on my asshole

#2635 +(4545)- [X]

<asr> 'fo sheezy.
<Sabboth> what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.

#2636 +(127)- [X]

<shervin> i have installed a Semen Control and Flood Restictor Waste System (SCFRWS) to control my ejaculations which land on the keyboard.. and drain it to the local public swimming pool

#2637 +(91)- [X]

<_Bas_> I want to be a database admin and part time mechanic when I graduate


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