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#138858 +(394)- [X]

<iPBS> you know
<iPBS> there were billions of virus emails traveling the net last week
<iPBS> people were complainging about getting hundreds of emails in their inbox's
<iPBS> and i didn't get a single email virus
<slightly> me neither
<iPBS> whats that say about our popularity?
<slightly> :(

#138868 +(368)- [X]

<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail

#138893 +(652)- [X]

<Elfer> uh oh
<Elfer> I think I plugged my lamp in backwards
<Elfer> the room gets darker when I turn it on

#138905 +(593)- [X]

<twohitcombo> i finally replaced my gay wireless keyboard that had a laptop style key layout with no keypad
<twohitcombo> and i bought one of those logitech ones with a hojillion buttons that dont work without the drivers
<twohitcombo> but evidently it has a 'fuck everything up' button that works fine with out them

#138968 +(100)- [X]

seanchil: zero5: What linux distro do you have?
Zero5: okay. can you please help me installing it.
Zero5: i have linux 9.0

#139013 +(990)- [X]

<Subwoofer> My mom's dead :D
<Subwoofer> :(*

#139025 +(1543)- [X]

<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH

#139075 +(-6)- [X]

<E_Kewl-i> Why dose the bottom of bash.org have all nigger jokes?
<Termite> they go by economical status

#139147 +(821)- [X]

<Pciber> Dude.
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't fuckin around!

#139187 +(725)- [X]

<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a hard-on whenever it rains.

#139434 +(71)- [X]

<%PeteriD> Ladies and gentlemen
<%PeteriD> Michael Bolton Has threatened to kill me
<xnoblefoxfirex> ohhh micheal bolton
<xnoblefoxfirex> I know Id be scared
<@bunnzy> whats he gonna do?
<@bunnzy> love you to death?
<@_pali> release another album! >_<
<@bunnzy> maybe he'll hold you down, and get his mate kenny G to molest you with his saxaphone!

#139462 +(752)- [X]

<Taiken> I had this dream once...
<Taiken> Where my penis grew teeth and attacked me.
<woosh> dude
<woosh> Your penis is cool.
<woosh> I want Taiken's penis
<Kyle> ..
<woosh> That sounded so wrong.
<Kyle> Yeah.

#139475 +(123)- [X]

<crazycaleb> cmon ham :( youre one of my favorites
<Hamzifer> favorites?
<Hamzifer> I dunno if i'm that 'important'.
<crazycaleb> your name makes me think of hamtaro, that might be why
<Hamzifer> ..your a sick little man.

#139476 +(1309)- [X]

<elitotaco> ok
<elitotaco> ive got to go finish cleaning my room
<elitotaco> or else i cant go camping
<-- elitotaco has quit ()
<asshat> OMG what a loser
<asshat> gtg moms calling

#139480 +(287)- [X]

<AndyPunk> what is with all the publicity with people who have lost limbs in the war
<AndyPunk> wasn't the only reason we went into iraq was to dis-arm them?

#139483 +(314)- [X]

<BLIZZ> the Xbox 2 will include high-end gaming hardware, a mini-fridge capable of holding an entire case of soda or beer, an air-conditioning unit, a four slice toaster, a TIVO unit, cup holders, a diaper changing table, a trash can, and a refillable toothpaste reservoir. Even the new extra large controllers - designed specifically for use by basketball players - will incorporate heated buttons and miniature LCD screens so you don't miss out on any of the action
<BLIZZ> but thats just my prediction.......
<around-Bellerophon> no way...not gonna happen....they'd never pull off the refillable toothpaste reservoir

#139489 +(941)- [X]

-> *Sea* I'm making services talk and he's so stoned that he thinks he's imagining it :)
<OperServ> WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, LIFESPIKE, YOU TERRORIST BASTARD
<Lifespike> OPER, NO
<Lifespike> dude IM INNOCENT I SWEAR
<@LagServ> YOU'VE BEEN A BAD BOY
<Lifespike> nooo
<Lifespike> SOMEBODY CALL KEN
<Lifespike> SOMEBODY HACKED HIS BOX
<Lifespike> THE SERVICES ARE ATTAKING ME
<LagServ> GREETINGS, JUSTIN! I AM YOUR GUARDIAN SPIRIT!
<Lifespike> really?
<LagServ> YES. I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU OF YOUR QUEST.
<Lifespike> what do i have to do?
<LagServ> You must travel into the wilderness, naked. You must stay there for 18 days. You must fuck every goat you encounter and carry around a bucket of green Jell-O.
<Lifespike> holy shit, i never knew this was real
<Lifespike> i'm gonna do that soon, i swear
<OperServ> DIE!
<MemoServ> DIE!
<NickServ> DIE!
<Lifespike> THEYRE TELLING ME TO DIE
<Lifespike> FUCK THIS IM OUTTA HERE
*** Quits: Lifespike
<Ariakas> Wow.
<Ariakas> I'd make a hell of a psychologist.

#139541 +(206)- [X]

<thebluetml> everyone doesn't like me
<thebluetml> so i told my mom
<thebluetml> and she said i was cool
<thebluetml> other than the fact i have glasses, acne and 6 fingers on my left hand.

#139543 +(295)- [X]

<Treppenwitz> my computer is not seeing my mouse
<Mephistopheles> hold it up in front of the webcam if you have one
<Mephistopheles> then take pictures

#139560 +(335)- [X]

<MeLearnin> Why does _Bunny always tell people he is going to bed?
* MeLearnin brb taking a shit....

#139580 +(688)- [X]

<Lhayn> WTF? Who would kill over a dollar?
<DMA> bums
<Lizardman> Transients.
<Lhayn> ...In normal society?
<DMA> CEOs

#139597 +(284)- [X]

<pyxl> my schedule says I'm taking physics this year
<matterless> Good, it builds character.
<pyxl> your sympathy is overwhelming

#139598 +(242)- [X]

<whifflebat2000> Holy crap... this is incredible. Never played this level. Great atmosphere.
<Seppel> Whiff: Finally make it to level 3 on Super Mario Brothers?

#139604 +(319)- [X]

<Hydra> * penguin has joined #12-15yrz
<Hydra> <penguin> any chicks there
<Hydra> lol
<Kevorkian> what scares me hydra, is that you are in that channel

#139611 +(169)- [X]

* Aphal sets mode: +b brit!*@*
<Aphal> haha i got u
* Kat sets mode: -b brit!*@*
<Aphal> wtf
* Aphal sets mode: +b cats!*@*
* Kat sets mode: -b cats!*@*
<Aphal> >:|
* Aphal sets mode: +b polaris!*@*
<Kat> k
<Aphal> :D
<Polaris> :(

#139613 +(-251)- [X]

DarkLerner: My Away Msg Is Creative Check It Ouy
My Own God 13 13: ...

Auto response from DarkLerner: Sleepz.

My Own God 13 13: o god
My Own God 13 13: thats awsome

#139614 +(258)- [X]

<dan-o2> hay dudes my gf broke up with me I dont know why
<dan-o2> I just slapped her with my cock

#139616 +(328)- [X]

<NightGyr> have you tried EFnet?
<hamann> No, I don't do drugs

#139622 +(1909)- [X]

<Nash> YES&#8230;they caught the bastard who made the blaster virus
<Nash> looks like he will be getting 10 yrs max in prison
<DDR4life> serves him right
<DROSS> Someone is soon going to discover how strangely painful the shower hour in prison is
<FiringSquad> He&#8217;ll probably catch a different type of virus in prison
<LexiusTheGenuis> poor kids virginity is going to the recycle bin
<Sczoyd> cellmates will probably be giving him some rather large uploads
<Antibig> theyll be installing some new hardware in his rectum
<FiringSquad> looks like his unprotected port is going to be probed
<Sczoyd> I hope he doesnt mind other men using his hard drive
<JSP> a roll like him is going to get rolled a lot
<Sczoyd> his prison mates are going to have a lot of fun with their new laptop
<ShinKurro> someone will find out a new way to spread viruses
<Nash> okay, that wasn&#8217;t really called for.

#139697 +(9173)- [X]

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

#140338 +(355)- [X]

<+BarkerJr> why is 'crontab -r' one key away from 'crontab -e'?
<@Paladin> Natural Selection

#140532 +(298)- [X]

<Sion_Barzahd> So there are only 3 votes and since that is not enough I will have to choose myself.
<DecmlCat> </Bush>

#140543 +(0)- [X]

* +FFimer has left ##
* FFimer has joined ##
* him_selfe sets mode: +b *!*@FFimer.users.quakenet.org
* FFimer was kicked by him_selfe (AutoKick: Frog detected, go /hop in a lake)

#140546 +(187)- [X]

<MiKe> r0bz0r: u have to be a special member
<r0bz0r> Ohhh
<r0bz0r> Ok
<r0bz0r> I'm special.  My mum said so

#140580 +(-306)- [X]

<delzi> Arguing in the internet is like running in the special olympics, even if you win you are still retarted.

#140596 +(133)- [X]

<cemil> what does it mean? :)
<cemil> /dev/hda4              24G   33M   22G   1% /db
<cemil> /dev/hda4 on /db type ext3 (rw)
<tibyke> it means you have to contact your systems administrator
<cemil> i am :)

#140603 +(524)- [X]

(VapOr) what the command 2 setup the bunnyscript?
<Stormcaller> just press alt-f4 to bring up the setup menu
<@shp|away> format c:/q
[Q] VapOr has quit IRC - [Quit: FFS GOTO SLEEP NN ALL have sweet dreams]
<@shp|away> lol
<Stormcaller> ROFL
[J] VapOr has joined #lobby - [Woof@cloaked-18013.btinternet.com]
<Stormcaller> hahaha
* @shp|away points and laughs
<@shp|away> i think he meant ctrl-F4
[P] VapOr has left #lobby
[J] VapOr has joined #lobby - [Woof@cloaked-18013.btinternet.com]
<@shp|away> rofl
(VapOr) pfff
<@shp|away> sorry
<@shp|away> really
<Stormcaller> hah
<@shp|away> that was cheap
(VapOr) ok i d/l it then i installed it
<Stormcaller> next you'll be telling him its "/quit i am a ponce"
(VapOr) "/quit i am a ponce
[Q] VapOr has quit IRC - [Quit: i am a ponce]
[J] VapOr has joined #lobby - [Woof@cloaked-18013.btinternet.com]
<Stormcaller> lol
(VapOr) cool
(Diamond_Viper) lol fool
<@shp|away> well now he knows three new commands anyways

#140652 +(1631)- [X]

<Unleaded> I did something really geeky just now
<Ex0duz> watched star trek ?
<Unleaded> I was reading a magazine, and I glanced at the bottom right hand corner of the page expecting to see the time... :/

#140669 +(249)- [X]

<|StuNNa|> !addpeon Murdoc
<Murdoc> hey
<Murdoc> dont you pee on me

#140675 +(814)- [X]

<RogueFoxx> I'm going to go outside
<RogueFoxx> where no nerd has gone before
<RogueFoxx> pray for me

#140720 +(1964)- [X]

SweetPeaches708: i can hack ur comp and send u a virus if u dont tell the truth and dont stop scaring my friend
SweetPeaches708: s
SweetPeaches708: my dad works for aol
SweetPeaches708: i know how to do these type of things
aedenww2: omg
aedenww2: hahahahahahahahahaha
aedenww2: BASH.ORG

#140756 +(205)- [X]

<Justin> Sluts are like web hosts - they spend all their time going down.

#140786 +(307)- [X]

<Sarah> Press 321 to talk to 18/f/dick
<W0lf> Eww
<The Void> 321
<The Void> Wait, shit.

#140791 +(2354)- [X]

NeoNess: My cell phone rang in the church and everyone looked at me.
I answered it and someone told me to turn it off.
I told them it was god and he was furiously angered at them, and he would smite them with his holy fist.
I proceeded to scream "Repent!" at the top of my voice.
long story short, I dont have to go to church anymore

#141183 +(759)- [X]

<@Blaxthos> so apparently my 17yo cousin has VD
<@seiki> heh
<@seiki> Blaxthos: sucky
<@Blaxthos> yea, she's hot )-;

#141218 +(709)- [X]

NeoNess19: new reports say that being with friends boost your immune system
LippyTaK: unless youre sharing needles

#141222 +(1009)- [X]

* deflux- has joined #bondage
<deflux-> I've got ducttape, some pliers and watermelon.  Let's do this thing.

#141224 +(1027)- [X]

<barka> one more time, anybody around here use StrokeIt?
<e> no, I prefer KY Jelly
<barka> Y2KY Jelly.
<barka> To cram 4 digits where only 2 used to fit.

#141226 +(200)- [X]

<Elise> hey do u have the compu wholesale purchase order at all?
<logik> ?
<logik> ummm
<Elise> so?
<logik> why do u need it
<Elise> cause im attaching the invoice and entering it in myob then i need to do the billing ....
<Elise> why do u ask?
<Elise> have u eaten it or something?
<Elise> ;)
<logik> nah you see
<logik> the thing is
<logik> there was no toilet paper around

#141242 +(118)- [X]

<Direw0lf> Sauki get some gerbils
<Direw0lf> i've been told they're all sorts of fun
<KhamulPPC> Especially with the optional extra of a microwave
<Direw0lf> hehe
<Sauki> gerbils?
<KhamulPPC> You got something against gerbils?
<Direw0lf> add helium and you've got gerbiloons
<Sauki> i'm sure they taste good
<Sauki> but i'm never sure what sauce to put with them


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