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#138433 +(258)- [X]

<enaz> what's the best way to tell the difference between flirting and networking
<FifthColumn> enaz: how stiff the cat5 cable is?

#138434 +(4)- [X]

<Credence> how is an athlon even remotely comparable to a celeron
<Aeturnus> they're pretty close in speed

#138435 +(365)- [X]

<nonzero> do you have a vagina?
<cisco_gal> yes :p
<nonzero> sweet

#138437 +(115)- [X]

Rob - you know u have a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows!

#138441 +(45)- [X]

<{SCF}|l||l||ll|> I AM SCF BARCODE

#138442 +(169)- [X]

<Jeeba> You sad sad men.
<Jeeba> I took off of school today to watch the Two Towers' Special Features disc over and over.
<Xylene> and you call us sad.

#138450 +(114)- [X]

<[Hobbes]> -rw-------    1 hobbes  hobbes  7802880 Aug 20 07:03 metaballs.core
<[Hobbes]> wtf is THAT
<@dk> your metaballs dumped thier core? ;)
<[Hobbes]> heh I read it as meatballs the first time
<@ky_druid> damn Hobbes, do you have to use your metaballs so hard that they coredump? sheesh.

#138453 +(9)- [X]

<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> I have a *nix os.
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> Several.
<MeKa> [11:54] <Cidsa> hurray
<MeKa> [11:54] <Cidsa> next is
<MeKa> [11:54] <MeKa> linux?
<MeKa> [11:54] <Neji-Sama> RH 9, Mandrake 9, Debian, Slackware and Gentoo.
<MeKa> dont call me an idiot if you didnt answer  before I asked the question
<MeKa> DOLT:P
> Uh' dude.
> They're different flavours of Linux.
> Sort of like Microsoft is a flavour of being ass raped by a dead turkey.

#138456 +(26)- [X]

<Uno> am I better then Keanu Reeves? Well that is a matter of opinion and acting ability
* Uno is now known as Rkiver
<Skorp> heh
<Plague> lol
<The_GoldFish> no one is better than Keanu Reeves
<The_GoldFish> NO ONE
<The_GoldFish> anyway
<Plague> keanu reeves is the master
* Zapth likes Rkiver more then Keanu Reeves
* Skorp hides
<Plague> who else do you know who can fly?
<Rkiver> Clarke Kent
<PatamonKid> you are keanu reeves's bitch
<Skorp> Superman??

#138458 +(28)- [X]

<FFk> he had a stroke
<FFk> and only half of his face works
<FFk> isnt that wicked?
<FFk> kinda like twoface from batman :D

#138487 +(990)- [X]

> Okay life is good.
> Some girl I know IRL.
> Just im'ed me and said she masturbated thinking of me last night.
> Yep, life is good.
<Seryu> lol
> Aww fuck.. she said it was the wrong window.

#138489 +(167)- [X]

(+Jolt) idont have a pornocollection does that make me weird?
(ThugzLoveinThugzMansion) yes

#138506 +(273)- [X]

<Hitei> I can also IMPLY that you are an idiot.
<Hitei> Which, you are, but I'm not saying it, just IMPLYING it. IMPLY is the key word there.
<Si`Howe> Look at that. You typed more than three words.
<Hitei> Shut up, you.

#138514 +(45)- [X]

<Virgin_girl> there is a new killer virus.... i can feel it.... scan ur discs people!
<Virgin_girl> i think im infected... im feeling like that
<Virgin_girl> norton knows it is inefcted
<Virgin_girl> it does not tell the truth

#138521 +(5)- [X]

<cannibal> oooh, the Bali bombers used SMS enabled phones to give orders...
<cannibal> only terrorists use SMS.
<brainbox> and most of europe
<cannibal> is there a difference?

#138542 +(88)- [X]

*** O_T_T_E_R Joined #warez/chat
«( cAz )»: sup otter
«( Mark )»: lol
«( Mark )»: you both go to the same university?
«( cAz )»: yeah
«( cAz )»: hes like 2 feet away from me
«( Mark )»: so u still talk on irc?
«( cAz )»: no he wants warez too
«( Elf )» university students trading illegal content.. dont they teach you guys the different between right and wrong in school? :p
«( Mark )»: im going to report you casey j and justin for trading illegal content at a university
«(@ deTh[aWay] )»: mark
«(@ deTh[aWay] )»: you're sitting in a warez channel and threatening to report people for it
«( Mark )»: sure
«( cAz )»: lol you noticed that too huh?
«( Mark )»: im here for the chat
«( Mark )»: not for the warez
«( Mark )»: ;)

#138543 +(188)- [X]

<xassassingod> but i do love brittany murphy
<xassassingod> she WILL have my babies
<***|away> you make some and then put them in front of her door ?

#138546 +(200)- [X]

<BoZo> Hmmm, this is scary, I was writing something today (with pen and paper!) and then I made an error and for like 5 seconds I wanted to undo :/       <BoZo> With a Ctrl+Z
<kdub> haha
<FyreDaug> BoZo you geek
<kdub> i was drawing something on a piece of paper in class
<kdub> and a computer was right in front of me too
<kdub> when i messed up drawing
<BoZo> It felt weird :p
<kdub> i reached up and hit ctrl-z
<BoZo> haha

#138548 +(290)- [X]

«@ Geza» how do u shut it down?!
«@ Geza» 2 shut down sum 1's chan?!
<PcChip> well
<PcChip> try this,
<PcChip> type: /quit shutdown #cafe_paradise
«@ Geza» ur lieing
«@ Geza» it will kick me
«@ Geza» u gay
Quits: Geza (~htrsh@owns.tha.world.edu) (Quit: shutdown #cafe_paradise)

#138572 +(205)- [X]

(@Miz): have we all gone outside to look at mars yet?
(@Chris_): cba
(@Chris_): its quicker to go to naza.gov and download a high res image
(@Chris_): nasa.gov *
(@Miz): and print it out then stick it on the window
(@Chris_): exactly!

#138576 +(244)- [X]

Syn0P: RESPOND
aj64804: no

#138583 +(210)- [X]

<@phessler> expecting people to be competent went out of style when the dot-com boom hit

#138593 +(327)- [X]

Blast Enforcer: oh, and just so you know, I've never stuck anything up my ass, and nor have I thought about it.
OAGreatLordAxion: ummm
OAGreatLordAxion: i didnt wonder
Blast Enforcer: oh
Blast Enforcer: ok
OAGreatLordAxion: right up until you said that.
OAGreatLordAxion: now im concerned.

#138594 +(122)- [X]

<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should measure ourselves up to.
<jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same thing and have it work for us for once.
<chaind> lol

#138596 +(102)- [X]

OAGreatLordAxion: You worry me sometimes, Tom.
Blast Enforcer: Good.
Blast Enforcer: I like to keep people on their toes.
OAGreatLordAxion: U and your homoerotic thoughts...
OAGreatLordAxion: u sure thats not on thier knees?

#138597 +(221)- [X]

«@ Darth_Angelus» thats what happens when you play avp2 too much
« TheMaskedMan » You get hairy palms and go blind
<JonR> no tmm
<JonR> thats masturbation
« TheMaskedMan » oh
« TheMaskedMan » I confuse the two

#138604 +(414)- [X]

<cortXbomb> yo, I need some good shit to put on my resume that makes it look lilke I use my computers for more than general piracy

#138615 +(320)- [X]

<+Myke> omg you're such a gay poopooface
<+Myke> be mature

#138616 +(499)- [X]

<Borlath_Mon> Dammit...what's a good ascii equivalent to "get down tonight"?
<Fox_Alan> dunno..
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit.
<Borlath_Mon> I'm trying to put together an ascii version of a song
<Borlath_Mon> Do a little dance
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> make a little love
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8w==D
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> Get down tonight?
<Fox_Alan> hmmmmmmm
<Borlath_Mon> It's a tricky one

#138618 +(543)- [X]

<Joe> I know everything there is to know about masturbating
<Tiffany> teach me joe
<Joe> OK WELL FIRST FIND YOUR PENIS
<Joe> YOU GOTS ONE OF THOSE RIGHT??
<Joe> BECAUSE OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY DIFFICULT
<Tiffany> o damn
<Tiffany> nevermind then

#138625 +(460)- [X]

<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> lol i came up to one of those domain names that arent registered
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> here are the top 5 searches performed
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 1. naked
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 2. boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 3. big boobs
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 4. vagina
<+cX`KEm1KaL`ns> 5. yu-gi-oh

#138626 +(409)- [X]

kobbie|pot has Quit iRC (Write Error: Broken pipe)
kobbie|work has joined.

#138631 +(740)- [X]

<Vict0r> they made a hackers 3?
<Vict0r> i didn't know that
<Majuju> they made a hackers 2?
<jules> they made a hackers 2?
<mnerd> what's hackers
<jules> winner.

#138632 +(-30)- [X]

Crazzeh Timmeh: dude
Crazzeh Timmeh: i just found out
Crazzeh Timmeh: im so sorry
Crazzeh Timmeh: i had no idea you were gay
KashJC: hahahaha
KashJC: are u that bored?
Crazzeh Timmeh: could you tell?
KashJC: yes
KashJC: lol
Crazzeh Timmeh: wanna fuck
Crazzeh Timmeh: ?
Crazzeh Timmeh: you know, since ur gay and all
KashJC: nah, not rite now...kinda busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: later?
KashJC: aight, when im done with this stuff
Crazzeh Timmeh: kk
Crazzeh Timmeh: who is stuff? never heard of him
KashJC: dont ask, we're busy
Crazzeh Timmeh: bastard, you're cheating on me now!
KashJC: hahah
KashJC: sorrie daddy
Crazzeh Timmeh: i knew you were a dirty whore

#138634 +(323)- [X]

<sean> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
<sean> "Thou shalt cross the road."
<sean> And the chicken crossed the road
<krohnjw__> that chicken should have been like "back off god, im doing this my way"
<krohnjw__> then he would have gotten owned

#138636 +(58)- [X]

if you get turned down for a job, its just like getting turned down for a date, only girls dont often give you the courtesy of "Thanks for applying, we will keep your resume on file.  have a nice day!"

#138640 +(348)- [X]

<Insomniak> so anyways
<Insomniak> I had just got back from a school camping trip
<Insomniak> and I had a school tent being kept in a black garbage bag
<Insomniak> i had to return it that morning
<Insomniak> i was running late
<Insomniak> so I pick up a black bag and go to school
<Insomniak> and later in the day, my Outdor Ed teacher comes up to me
<Insomniak> "do you know what was in that bag you brought me?"
<Insomniak> me: "uh, a tent?"
<Insomniak> "no"
<Insomniak> "soiled diapers"
<Insomniak> i had brought the wrong bag

#138641 +(12)- [X]

Skywalker> we need a transportation systems like the Europians
Pheylan> smelly?

#138646 +(27)- [X]

<Guitar4life> there's no such thing as humping too many grandma's

#138651 +(259)- [X]

<NE|KevinDeux> would ME run good on a p100, 32mb ram?
<[xeno]Nirox> sure....if its being draged behind a car

#138652 +(46)- [X]

<Vikki> everyone send me more pics of you all :)
<Vikki> lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag lag
* Vikki was kicked by Vikki (stop flooding)

#138653 +(196)- [X]

<doogul> he can kline but he can't kill? wtf? lol
<doogul> that's like being able to jack off but you can't take your pants off

#138659 +(156)- [X]

<@[R-Dk]FoRbiDDeN> this litte arrow thing keeps following my mouse, and I can't make it go away.

#138676 +(265)- [X]

-—› quit: (CIA) (SDF@n00b-3A83B275.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by FBI)))
(@NSA) OMG GHOST GOVERMENT

#138767 +(144)- [X]

[ +Syphon ] what linux editor should i use to open a .dat file?
[ +Da_BuzZ ] notepad?

#138784 +(318)- [X]

<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit

#138788 +(125)- [X]

<Cyrack> told my girlfriend that MS could get all her personal letters... now she unplugs the network before starting Office... :-(

#138789 +(667)- [X]

Tridao: i got 100%
Tridao: :D
Xeero: On what?
Tridao: the iq test
Xeero: ...
Tridao:  100% of what/
Xeero: Did it give you a number?
Xeero: That says
Xeero: 'Your IQ is ___"
Tridao: 100%...:(
Xeero: Okay, your IQ is not high.

#138797 +(216)- [X]

<Charlemagne> I HATE WHEN OPS TRY TO JUDGE MY MOTHER FUCKING ONLY FUCKING FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Wertigon sets mode: +o Charlemagne
<Charlemagne> oh
<Charlemagne> never mind
<Charlemagne> WOO!

#138832 +(935)- [X]

<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally.


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