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#131727 +(206)- [X]

<indigo> redhat has become a thing of its own, apart from linux
<indigo> it's the entropy of linux combined with the uselessness of a corporate product

#131775 +(-80)- [X]

<eps> i never thought i would jack off to richard simons
<denver> jesus
<denver> you jack off to richard simons?
<Ch0p> thats sick...

#131975 +(459)- [X]

<DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
<DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything

#132770 +(255)- [X]

<jomamaugly14> i cant get on irc!@!!!
<jomamaugly14> im banned
<Xenon> you *are* on irc !!!

#133750 +(433)- [X]

<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to control the actions of mortals?

#133771 +(663)- [X]

<EL3CTRO> 1 for me, 2 for bob
* EL3CTRO pours beer into his computer case
* EL3CTRO hears a bang
* EL3CTRO (EL3CTRO@xnet-10E67154.glfd.cable.ntl.com) Quit (Killed (Zaphod (Connection reset by beer)))

#134499 +(493)- [X]

(@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
(@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
(@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about that
(@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the switch ?
(+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch with my linux box
(@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the windows machine you are on now ?
(+Andross): yeah

#134503 +(266)- [X]

(Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of the world is here?
(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs off their leashes again at the blind school

#134558 +(340)- [X]

<Fr0d0> Just imagin what wars would be like if instead of battle hardend soldiers, they used nerds and geeks.
<H4ndalfTehGh3y> "D00d! j00 sh0tz0r m333!11!11 Wut r u?!?!? 4 FFFFAAAAGGG?!!!?!"

#134607 +(265)- [X]

<VashTS> im going to make a pop up that provides for them all, " DO YOU NEED CREDIT , OR A LARGE PENIS , OR BIGGER BUST SIZE , OR A LOAN ,,, WELL THEN CLICK THIS LINK TO BRING UP 900 MORE POP UPS AND FORMS TO FILL OUT WHICH WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING CUS YOU HAVE NO MONEY , A SMALL PENIS , NO BOOBS , AND NO ONE IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE YOU MONEY , OR DATE YOU , OR ANYTHING , CUS YOUR A NERD , A FUCKIN COMPUTER NERD , SO IGNORE THIS AND CLICK THE X"

#134610 +(300)- [X]

<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_-

#134835 +(1152)- [X]

<@maddox> hehe.. man, Norton Antivirus sucks. All it does it bog everything down, I clicked on the "optimize my computer" setting and it just uninstalled itself.

#134858 +(129)- [X]

(Zaphod): now, would you like knee pads for that, or are you going bare back ?
(Matthew): doesnt matter, its only irc
(Matthew): so you choose
(Zaphod): Matthew - whatever you like, as long as you wear pretty red lipstick, its all good with me
(Matthew): k, but let me get my tweasers and magnifying glass
(Zaphod): you wanking yourself at the same time huh ?
(Zaphod): kinky

#135115 +(697)- [X]

(Scorpion): hi
(Scorpion): do you spek englısh
(Scorpion): do you spek turkish
(Scorpion): admın
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Zaphod): You want to buy the channel #zurna?
(Scorpion): okey
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): Sorry, i dont quite understand you
(Zaphod): You want to pay money for the channel?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): what good is ?
(Zaphod): that doesnt make any sense
(Scorpion): how much
(Zaphod): How much will you pay, what is fair you think ?
(Scorpion): do you speek turkihs
(Zaphod): no
(Scorpion): hıms
(Scorpion): sop to add
(Scorpion): alo
(Zaphod): Hi
(Zaphod): how much will you pay?
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): make it $30 and you have a deal
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): No deal
(Scorpion): 15$
(Scorpion): ?
(Zaphod): $30 is the price
(Zaphod): that is a good channel
(Scorpion): 20$ ?
(Zaphod): ok, ok, its your lucky day, im feeling in a good

mood and i just got a new shipment of channels in, £20 is fine
(Scorpion): end money
(Zaphod): How will you pay
(Scorpion): give me check number
(Zaphod): lol
(Zaphod): im joking with you
(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
[(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): £20
(Scorpion): okey
(Zaphod): No sale
[(Zaphod): Not selling
[(Scorpion): why ?
[(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
(Scorpion): oky.
(Scorpion): insistenly canal
(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): insistently canal to want?
(Scorpion): pls
(Scorpion): alo
(Scorpion): to speak
(Scorpion): plssss. :(

#135909 +(182)- [X]

<cdk> the computer admin at the office is just the kinda LINUX 0wnZ WIND0wZ nazi
<cdk> and he's goddamn paranoid
<cdk> and he smells
<@noosie> most linux guru's smell
<@noosie> linux before personal hygiene... that's their moto
<cdk> do most linux guru's whistle and make awful jokes and hysterically laugh at their OWN jokes?

#136144 +(450)- [X]

<Dain-EvenDumber> I have a theory
<Dain-EvenDumber> A theory that the current Prime Minister of Canada is the smartest man on the planet
<Dain-EvenDumber> And his brilliant ideas would have ushered Canada into a new age of prosperity and power, overcoming even the United States...
<Dain-EvenDumber> if only people could understand what he was saying

#136322 +(250)- [X]

<Treen> Damnit, why on earth are they making Max Payne 2 a fricking LOVE STORY?
<Mithrandir> because love is cool
<Exspes> Because everything has to have a love story in it
<Exspes> Lord of the Rings was about Sam and Frodo
<Treen> <_<
* Dr_Nick smacks Ex
<Exspes> Smoochies.
<Exspes> The Hobbit was about Bilbo and that dwarf king
<Exspes> It'd be cool to be able to jump into books
<Treen> ...

#136332 +(254)- [X]

<Cthulhuberries> the only tests I get right are pregnancy tests :P

#136343 +(163)- [X]

<+OwnzYa> work?
<+OwnzYa> whats that?
<@Wapwap> That explains why you are so fat

#136344 +(24)- [X]

onkeybutt87: what are you up to?
UpDogWkeBoarder: just chatin, i might have pancacks for dinner
onkeybutt87: that sentence makes me sad
onkeybutt87: a pancack?
UpDogWkeBoarder: lol
UpDogWkeBoarder: i'm typing to like three people
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's a lot for me
onkeybutt87: trust me, it's a lot for us too
UpDogWkeBoarder: hahaha
UpDogWkeBoarder: you type fast
UpDogWkeBoarder: i don't
onkeybutt87: yeah, I also type well
UpDogWkeBoarder: yeah
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's trure

#136351 +(42)- [X]

<S1> i'm royally pissed off
<S1> i was giving my grandmother a ride into town so she could pick up her car
<S1> as i went through an intersection
<S1> a car making a right turn decided she diddn't want to go into the right lane wich was clear
<S1> nooooooooo she had to jump RIGHT in front of me
<S1> I had my 70 year old grand mother in the car
<S1> i almost rear ended the fuck out of an SUV
<S1> it could have easily put my grandmother in the hospital
<S1> bitch is lucky didn't rip her lungs out through her ass
<A1> you were going to rip your grandmothers lungs out through her ass?

#136355 +(238)- [X]

<mReD> wtf happend to that blaster virus
<mReD> did microsoft get attacked
<]Oxygen[> they pointed www.windowsupdate.com somewhere else
<]Oxygen[> what they should have done is point it at apple.com

#136360 +(252)- [X]

<Ron> Not all those tricks are that amazing.
<Lance> Hey, if a dog can get a server up in Korea before it gets eaten, I'd give that a 9.

#136365 +(244)- [X]

<+Jenda_away> javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');
<@contagious> Not sure that link is gunna werk;]
<+Jenda_away> www.javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');.com
<@contagious> lol
<@contagious> That one either
<+Jenda_away> hmm
<+Jenda_away> fuck you

#136366 +(985)- [X]

<KoKaiNo> i just got pwnd what does that mean?

#136376 +(374)- [X]

<Blade> Too bad your ex wasn't there.
<Sonsquidku_V> She was in f*cking San Diego. Can you believe that?
<Sonsquidku_V> There's like nothing there. It's mexican canada.
<Blade> Seriously, it's like LA took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And then that crap took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And picked through the crap to find a land mine.
<Sonsquidku_V> And threw it at my mom.
<Blade> XD
<Sonsquidku_V> Who fell down the stairs.
<Sonsquidku_V> And into a hole which led to China.
<Sonsquidku_V> And that's why I haven't seen her for the last 15 years.
<Blade> You have some issues, Dan.

#136377 +(405)- [X]

[+Freeder] The Angry Dragon
[+Freeder] Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

#136392 +(263)- [X]

<Misteroo>  I'M PART ITALIAN. MAMA MIA, I GUNA YOU DOWN
<Misteroo>  YES I WILL! THEN I WILL DRAW A STILL LIFE OF THE SPAGHETTI WHICH I EAT VERY OFTEN
<winterwinstar> draw a bunch of pirahnna plants and green pipes
<Misteroo>  WINTER THAT IS OFFENSIVE I LIVED IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM THERE WEREN'T THAT MANY PIPES :{

#136428 +(333)- [X]

<Pander> Isn't that like a greek tragedy? A man who spends all his time downloading porn but never gets to look at it?

#136432 +(343)- [X]

<Boogaleeboo> ...soul, what was the exact name of the file you sent me? <Boogaleeboo> I seem to have fucking LOST it
<SHODAN> I'll find it.
<deVoca> Boog, search on "12_year_old_hardcore.avi"
<Boogaleeboo> Too many results

#136439 +(259)- [X]

* Jedi_Peni is now known as Jedi_Penis
<melusine> Please don't show us the power of the force.

#136444 +(489)- [X]

<NeroMan> "Queer Eye For A Straight Guy" would be better if at the end of the episode the five gay guys combined into a giant one
<MattW> I'll form the ARM
<Karva> I want to be the crotch
<NeroMan> "I'll give the head"
<NeroMan> I mean.. form the head.

#136460 +(435)- [X]

<PunisherBass> I'd rather smear my nuts in honey and then tea bag a red ant hill than watch the matrix reloaded again

#136465 +(374)- [X]

<CarnivorousPlant> dog + compost /= (dog+compost)
<CarnivorousPlant> (dog+compost) = dog^compost
<CarnivorousPlant> and if any mathematicians object, they are free to come over here and smell this blasted dog

#136477 +(564)- [X]

<robbie212> where are you getting this stuff?
<bahumbug> robbie212: www.freedvdrsforpeoplethatarentjewish.com
<robbie212> it doesn't work
<bahumbug> you must be jewish

#136478 +(217)- [X]

<Nukeitall> Hey guys, I need a list of issues people always discuss but can never truly resolve.
<Dreadnought> whether god really DOES kill a kitten every time a person masturbates
<Dreadnought> and if domokun are real
<WizardofWestmarch> oh domo is real
<Treen> yeah, domo's real
<Astyanax> pfft of course domo is real
* Dreadnought puts on his domo suit
<Astyanax> doiiiii
<WizardofWestmarch> look at all his crazy hijinks living with Usajii
<Nukeitall> Domokun kills kittens because of a large tumor making him think god speaks to him. next.

#136485 +(39)- [X]

<Ralph`> u know teh way balck ppl talk?
<Ralph`> how tehy say "thur" stead of "there" and "hur" stead of "hair"?
<AXEiii> ...?
<Ralph`> how do you think they say "her" as in... "her"?
<DeAZNriDe> that bitch

#136486 +(136)- [X]

<Alman> Stacy's mom has got it goin' on, ooh yeah...
<Tyrillis> U see the video for that
<Tyrillis> Her mom is pretty hot
<Alman> yea
<Alman> stacy's not too bad
<Alman> either
Tyrillis> :P
<Alman> but she's like 10
<Alman> so that sucks

#136487 +(177)- [X]

(iTM): are you racist?
(killjesus): gosh
(killjesus): here we go again
(killjesus): jumping to conclusions
(killjesus): will it make you feel better if i tell you my name is Adolf
(killjesus): and that i think black people are lesser human beings?

#136494 +(669)- [X]

<Flammie> I have a secret.
<Flammie> I'm deaf.
* Chibi points and laughs in braile

#136501 +(645)- [X]

< mfh> fuck
< mfh> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
<@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good programmer

#136504 +(1038)- [X]

<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET ADDRESS

#136506 +(-15)- [X]

<YoshiJRC> Who wants to freestyle!
<YoshiJRC> Here I go!
<YoshiJRC> TWO ALL BEEF PATTIES SPECIAL SAUCE LETTUCE CHEESE PICKLES ONIONS ON A SES'ME SEED BUNNN! PICKLES ONIONS ON A SES'ME SEED BUNNN!!
<YoshiJRC> I BEAT YOU ALL!

#136509 +(80)- [X]

<idlerakefighter> What's the deal with Ovaltine
<Sarah> the cup's round :(
<Sarah> the container's round :(
<Sarah> why isn't it roundtine?

#136510 +(28)- [X]

<fork> oh cool
<fork> theres a pube in my keyboard

#136514 +(1077)- [X]

<fry> i remember the first time i had a boner i thought it was cacner or something
<fry> because i used to be smart and shit and i learned in class that tumers were "uncontrolled growths"
<Raven> Then you found the internet. And now you can't even spell cancer. Or tumors.
<fry> ...
<fry> :(

#136517 +(1454)- [X]

<Booyaah> There's something making a noise outside my window
<Booyaah> Should I go check out what the heck is making that noise or just leave it alone?
<Booyaah> it's like a low sort of moaning
<Elzie_Ann> :/
<ViewtifulJosh> call the cops, heh
<Frozen-Solid> moaning?
<Booyaah> That's what I'd call it Frozen
<Elzie_Ann> So is this like a "People are having sex outside my window" type of moaning or a "there's an injured cat outside my window" type of moaning
<Frozen-Solid> could only be one thing... promiscuous sex... you could go out and watch if you want
<Booyaah> I'm gonna go with the injured cat thing
<ViewtifulJosh> haha
<Stormrider> It might be an injured cat having sex
<Booyaah> If people are having sex outside my window then it sounds like only one is doing a good job
<Frozen-Solid> hahaha
<Elzie_Ann> hahahaha
<Stormrider> That may be the greatest thing you've ever said, Booyaah
<Booyaah> It's getting louder :|
<Booyaah> ok, I'm gonna go check
<Booyaah> I don't really want to have things like that going on in my yard
<Elzie_Ann> Haha.
<Elzie_Ann> I don't have any other ideas
<Booyaah> I'm thinking there's a good chance it was a kitty
<Frozen-Solid> or carl's idea...
<Elzie_Ann> That's what I would think
<Elzie_Ann> Some kind of cat
<Booyaah> but my cat would notice...
<Booyaah> My cat = me
<Booyaah> It just lays around doing nothing
<Booyaah> you know if people were doing it outside my window
<Frozen-Solid> you'd have a camera Booyaah?
<Booyaah> Frozen, you're scaring me
<Booyaah> lol
<Frozen-Solid> heh
<Booyaah> I suppose I could've taped it though
<Elzie_Ann> haha
<Booyaah> lol
<Booyaah> it's starting up again
* Booyaah is away : Outside with flashlight
--- Booyaah is now known as Booyaah-away

** Time Passes **

<Booyaah> People in this town scare me.
<Elzie_Ann> Did you find out what it was, Booyaah?
<Booyaah> sure did
<Elzie_Ann> What was it
<Booyaah> some dude
<Elzie_Ann> o_O
<Frozen-Solid> 0_o
<Booyaah> me: "What the fuck are you doing man?" him: "...nothing" me: "you aren't playing with yourself out here are you?" him: "Maybe" me: "well...I really think you should do that in your own home, not my bushes ok" him: "ok" me: "get the fuck out of here"

#136522 +(446)- [X]

<eViL_oNe> oh goodgod!@
<eViL_oNe> HELP ME
<@lucifer> sorry. not qualified.

#136523 +(175)- [X]

<fry> if there's one thing i really hate
<fry> ...it's animosity

#136524 +(10525)- [X]

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(


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