#115836 +(2181)- [X]
* God plays the Sims.
* God clicks on "Gothic" and selects "swear"
<Gothic> Wait, what
#115960 +(1372)- [X]
* Dante changes topic to 'ChanServ can go suck a cock.'
* ChanServ changes topic to 'Fuck You'
#115983 +(848)- [X]
<@Rob_Saunders> why do people dislike pop bands?
<+K_Praslowicz> Mecause it is mass-produced crap
<@Rob_Saunders> it's not all crap :(
<+K_Praslowicz> Maybe, But I'm not one to dig through piles of shit to pick out a good piece of corn to eat.
#115997 +(143)- [X]
<virt> i'm a musician. of course i hate HHC. you can't like it unless you are a) a candy raver, b) a candy raver, c) a candyraver, and possibly d) tone deaf and epileptic - and/or german
#116001 +(198)- [X]
<McKree> The hills have eyes...
<Suerte> urinate in them
#116034 +(289)- [X]
* niki-luv waves
* s_ surfs niki
#116079 +(565)- [X]
<^Melchior^> MY NAMES BUSH!... HELP MY FIND IRAQ'S NUCLEAR WEAPONS, ORDER YOUR VERY OWN "FIND MR. SADDAMS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION DETECTION KIT", Kit Includes: Darts and a Map
#116082 +(105)- [X]
< Mennonite> hey docfu
< Mennonite> I had a mindblowing last four days
< Mennonite> did you?
< docfu> Menno well, i had a headblowing in there too
< docfu> to the point where I started to lose oxygen to my brain and become eurphoric...
< TenBaseT> docfu: when that happens it's time to loosen the belt.
#116170 +(860)- [X]
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> DRUGS ARE BAD
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> unless you are sick
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or depressed
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or having trouble sleeping
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need to stay awake
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need a little inspiration
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to win a sporting event
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to look cool
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you're just not feeling 100%
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> but other than that they are BAD
#116361 +(404)- [X]
<ecoli> i remember the girl who lived next to mea
<ecoli> and we saw pictures in my dad's uh. magazines.
<ecoli> "THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN, LET'S TRY THAT."
<ecoli> i think that was also her first golden shower experience, heh. at that age, i figured that was the only liquid that came out of there.
#116503 +(352)- [X]
<tabooli> A drunken friend recently mispronounced "continental drift," and it came out sounding like "cunnilingual drift." We brainstormed a few meanings for cunnilingual drift before settling on this one: When a person's tongue drifts down to a woman's anus, on purpose or by accident, during an intense session of cunnilingus.
#116511 +(252)- [X]
<Fury> fappathon .. wonder if i can get that registered as a raising money thing
<Fury> "come and compete in this years annual fapathon! Raise money to help the blind!"
#116528 +(941)- [X]
<dw> wtf is bukakke?
<Nightfly> dw: Allow all of us to demonstrate.
#116531 +(5)- [X]
<rg> *me never raped, they always managed a yes before throwing up
#116542 +(294)- [X]
<Repent> I hate it when I'm the only one what chats in the room. Cause then I'm just hearing myself blabber.
<stugster> we hate it when you chat in the room in general
#116547 +(404)- [X]
<BiZZY> GOD DAMNIT!
<BiZZY> only doctor close to me that will check me under title 19 is my ex g/f's mom
<BiZZY> I know her really well
<BiZZY> kind of odd, I'd be having my groin checked
<Strom> i imagine that would make you more comfortable than having a stranger prod your groin
<BiZZY> no I'd rather have someone I don't know that I won't probly see again do it
<BiZZY> than someone whose daughter used to play with the same area
#116591 +(27)- [X]
<waffy> wtf is this site reyarded
<waffy> how ironic
#116604 +(627)- [X]
<weed> wtf is this world turning to?
#116662 +(174)- [X]
<fruchtig> Doctors are so evil. They tell you to get in a certain position, hide behind a wall, and let YOU soak up a few x-rays. The doctor thinks, "Just stay there while I go hide behind this wall and press this button for a moment while hysterically laughing at you." And then you see that radioactive symbol on the machine surrounding your head and think, "Oh joy!"
#116706 +(534)- [X]
<Dracon> I saw a mormon crash his bike into a power pole
<Dracon> that was grand :D
<html> heHaHehAHehAeh :D
<Dracon> I walked past and said "Not even God saw that one coming... well done tiger!"
#116749 +(578)- [X]
<khanjackalmoreau> i knew a kid who dressed up as a goth leprechaun for halloween
<khanjackalmoreau> all black outfit, with a grayscale rainbow, and a pot full of cure albums
#116774 +(131)- [X]
<AGaeris> And what were you doing? Oh yeah. Cybering.
<AGaeris> CYBERING LIKE RABBITS WITHOUT A CAUSE.
#116839 +(34)- [X]
<Unimita> What wobbles and flies?
<Unimita> A jellycopter
#116869 +(168)- [X]
<padnaebaen> fuck me i love irc
<spanky> yes, its the distilled essence of humanity
<spanky> without the odour
#116902 +(880)- [X]
buservt: I was trying to find a tape downstairs, and I have diarhea, and I had to shit really bad, and I saw a copy of austin powers, and there was a picture of fat bastard on it when he is trying to eat mini me, and I thought (in fat bastards voice) "stay in my butthole" and I laughed so hard I shit all over myself
buservt: another pair of shorts ruined
#116938 +(1476)- [X]
<Nate> The Americans spent 5 years and 10 million dollars to develope a pen that would write in space, freezing cold, extreme heat, and in zero gravity.
<Nate> The Russians used a pencil
#116969 +(169)- [X]
<crhyme> I made a windchime out of used condoms
<soop> does it go "slap phlap wap"
<soop> in the wind?
<sunrinse> crhyme: sounds more slappy than chimey
<soop> or does it more of an aromatherapy thing
<crhyme> well its mostly just for style
<crhyme> its also a great way to dry out your condoms
#117002 +(9184)- [X]
<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF
#117078 +(255)- [X]
* RE_away just taped himself waving a broomstick and changed it into a lightsaber with the help of Video Editing Software
<RE_away> How productive
<RE_away> Now to do the same thing with my penis
#117110 +(909)- [X]
<fade> Dear France,
<fade> Bite Me
<Queued> Dear Fade,
<Queued> We surrender
#117164 +(281)- [X]
<Ariakas> Look what happened on my MUD
<Ariakas> SylphW leaps into the Lynx fighting stance.
<Ariakas> MyAss slinks into the Ferret fighting stance.
<Ariakas> SylphW's strike does UNSPEAKABLE THINGS to MyAss!
#117190 +(467)- [X]
<Ariakas> What's white, black, and red all over and has difficulty passing through a revolving door?
<Dolands> A nun with a spear through her head!
#117206 +(281)- [X]
jason: i used to always get free pizza hut for reading books and shit :o/
jason: my family depended on my book reading to provide dinner
#117217 +(627)- [X]
<Da_Wrecka> The guns cost £10. Considering the guns can be used in other games too that's not bad at all.
<SLowry05> yeah wtf is that thing in front of hte numbers
<Da_Wrecka> And it's still cheap.
<Da_Wrecka> It's called a "pound sign"
<SLowry05> oh you're chinese?
#117299 +(394)- [X]
<poppycat> well..I dont have a vibrator any more but yes...he was called mister buzzy and he used to squirm and vibrate across the floor at great speed
<kirsy> you let your vibrator play on the floor?
<poppycat> yes..I didnt get much out of using it so I decided to let it amuse me by racing it
<Yasui> "GO MR BUZZY! beat that other vibrator! you can do it!"
#117305 +(571)- [X]
<Legion> touching yourself leeds to blindness
<beej> heh, and spellin problems, apparently
#117330 +(512)- [X]
<The_Kirbinator> 3000 mexicans dies yesterday........ 5 car pile-up on the I-10
#117337 +(280)- [X]
<FireEgl> so hurngy =(
<tito> why don't you eat your dick?
<FireEgl> I need something more filling.
#117351 +(280)- [X]
<@Shively> my last college had a guy who was smearing feces on the bathroom walls
<@Shively> yea well the guy at our college was becomming so popular that the student goverment put an article out on him
<+PickleHead> have you seen the book called Brown spots on the walls by "hooflung pooh"?
<@Shively> he said he would stop if he could have a spot for somehting he wanted to say
<@Shively> so they gave it to him and he defended it as an art form
<+PickleHead> you can't be serious
<@Shively> saying that feces drawn on walls is an expression of fecal art
<+PickleHead> fecal... art....
<@Shively> the janitors responded with their own article
#117577 +(869)- [X]
<Eyal> i've been having a dilemma
<Eyal> what are better to play with
<Eyal> boobs or balls?
<Eyal> i mean, when they're yours
#117663 +(489)- [X]
*** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc
<Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch!
<screevo> Doesnt that hurt?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!
#117673 +(375)- [X]
<jgannon> Quicktime 0wnz... if you have a Mac. :-)
<PatrickD> so where can I go to download a Mac? ;-)
<jgannon> PatrickD: www.goatse.cx
<jgannon> Wow... I haven't said THAT in a long time.
<PatrickD> somehow that version of the Mac never worked well for me
<jgannon> Yeah... too many wide open ports.
#117674 +(263)- [X]
<The_Defiance> who cares... i mean really, illiterate people on a text based chat program would be almost as bizarre as a blind optician
<My3blka> Def, it's commonplace, it's called AOL
#117682 +(230)- [X]
<Terra> there i was at a donkey stall, there was a sign there saying in english : would u like to ride on your own ass?
<Terra> so i was like ??
<UPC_Nemo> Did you ride the badass assride?
#117687 +(477)- [X]
<assturbation> this nick doesnt exactly scream "heterosexual"
#117691 +(441)- [X]
<Ali_> no canadian cars eh?
<Egg_> i don't think there's a canadian made car
<Egg_> that would be cool if there was
<Egg_> we'd have shitty animal names though
<Egg_> like the Ford Canadian Goose
<Egg_> or the Chevy Beaver
<Egg_> i'd so drive a Chevy Beaver
#117696 +(413)- [X]
<ToiletDuc> I remember when I first came to the realization that I was a geek.... I came home from working on a router lab all day at school, picked up the phone, and dialed the IP address for Router C
#117698 +(21)- [X]
<AnaloG-KiD|EatingIsDope> icy has a personality?
<Prince_C> yeah its called a down syndrome
#117711 +(789)- [X]
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> im from uganda
<@cylyk> i'm canadian!
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> actually im not from uganda
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> where is canada?
<@swolf> its an american expansion pack
#117732 +(727)- [X]
<bfdd> i heard the mcdonalds commerical say special sauce
<bfdd> and i thought "ill give em some special sauce"
<bfdd> and then i realized
<bfdd> i was talking dirty to a tv commerical
<bfdd> and felt ashamed of myself