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#107381 +(1283)- [X]

<Tenchi147> if you were in a shower with another guy and he droped the soup
<Tenchi147> would you do anything?
<Oolong^Pokemon> not if it wasn't my boyfriend
<Oolong^Pokemon> hell no
<Tenchi147> I am not thinking while typeing
<Tenchi147> I am going to shut up now
<Katarica> If I was in the shower and another girl dropped the soup
<Katarica> I would wonder why the HELL she was eating soup in the fucking shower

#107382 +(1059)- [X]

<^NoS^Sikarian> you know
<^NoS^Sikarian> in working with the tech department the past week
<^NoS^Sikarian> know what ive found out?
<^NoS^Sikarian> those windows XP taskbar tray popup bubbles are like a little kid
<^NoS^Sikarian> 'HEY! LOoK AT ME!  LOOOK WHAT IM DOING! =D =D =D LOoK!! YOUR NOT LOOOOKKINNGG!!!! COME ON LOOK!!"
<^NoS^Sikarian> Then you click the X and say "Ok I fucking see you"
<^NoS^Sikarian> 5 seconds... "HEY LOOK AT ME AGAIN! =D"

#107384 +(110)- [X]

Mayor of your Brain: I weasled out of going to my cousin's graduation ;)
C_Caillavet: you rule
C_Caillavet: But what if you missed out on punch and pie?
Mayor of your Brain: Fuck them, I got meatloaf

#107390 +(703)- [X]

<Targen> Just saw the Smallvile season finale. (that's what you call those, right?)
<NekoGuy> season finale? the last episode in a season right?
<Targen> Yes.
<NekoGuy> Yes, that's right.
<NekoGuy> You've passed the American Television Culture test #1
<NekoGuy> You win 20 pounds of fat.

#107395 +(13)- [X]

<McBigMac> WHO STOLE MAH LIGHTER ?!
<MysteryIslands> _o/
<MysteryIslands> gotta take smoke now :D
<McBigMac> Life needs a fukkin Search Function!
<McBigMac> Search: Find Lighter

#107396 +(384)- [X]

<@Dock> Water freezes faster the higher you are, I believe.
<@phrozen> nice
<@phrozen> next time i'll use the fridge upstairs

#107406 +(101)- [X]

eggmcpuffin: you have xp?
GE GK: no hp

#107416 +(38)- [X]

<fiz> porn's a good addiction too
<fiz> not like needy womens
<fiz> rub my feet... not tonight... in the butt again
<fiz> bitch whine moan

#107420 +(241)- [X]

<HeadlessCow> urr...you've never touched a girl's breasts and known her cup size?
<evilroot> HeadlessCow:  hrm, I rarely remember such things
<evilroot> Hard enough remembering their names

#107421 +(246)- [X]

<melx0rz> we just polled some guy .. out of the following he is a) child molester b) FILTHY LIAR
<melx0rz> i didn't answer
<melx0rz> er.. HE
<melx0rz> He didn't answer

#107425 +(471)- [X]

<NekoGuy> Hey Guys, long time no see, ever since that fucking war on terror started, I'm currently building several strategic size nuclear weapons, and wanted you're opinion, I've secured weapons grade plutonium, now I can't decide, gun type or implosive war heads? I'm gonna mount them on #1283-8171-200 Deep Strike Cruise Missiles, so weight is an issue
<NekoGuy> um... wrong channel/server
<NekoGuy> sorry
<Xypher> if that was an attempt to be funny it sucked.
<NekoGuy> No, it was seriously the wrong channel/server
<NekoGuy> fucking idiot.
<Robby> implosive war head
<NekoGuy> Really? Thanks.

#107427 +(75)- [X]

<UGT> http://www.superracer.com
<UGT> dl :)
<Jorkapp> ...the demo is 42 megs
<Jorkapp> thats about 2.5 hours on dialup
<UGT> better start now
<Jorkapp> I would rather spend those 2.5 hours dling pr0... HalfLife Mods.
<UGT> lol
* Jorkapp whistles innocently

#107428 +(303)- [X]

<gwb> qu:230; [23|30] <trunks> thanks to you and your advice [23|31] <trunks> i have a bandaid on my balls [23|31] <trunks> fucker. [23|31] <trunks> and i clogged my shower drain
<gwb> lmao @ the clogged shower
<Gold> wtf
<Shreds> what the
<Gold> he shaved his nutsack?
* trunks has joined #drifters
<Shreds> hahahaha
<gwb> roflflflf
* Shreds hands trunks a mach3
<trunks> whatever
* trunks has left #drifters

#107433 +(378)- [X]

<kmad> if your parents named you 'Penis' would you kill yourself
<Bertovo> No
<Bertovo> I would kill my parents
<kmad> good point
<Bertovo> "Penis, quit jumping on the table"
<kmad> "penis, clean up after yourself"
<Bertovo> if only it were that easy

#107434 +(216)- [X]

procrastination is like masturbation, it feels real good while your doing it, but in the end you realize your just screwing yourself/

#107435 +(392)- [X]

<richmond> one time i was watching anime in my room, and my dad hit his hand on my door, and yelled, "Are you jackin' off to cartoons in there!?"
<richmond> :(
<BloodFromStone> haha
<BloodFromStone> Busted.
<Dragonfly> lol
<richmond> haha
<richmond> yeah :(

#107442 +(902)- [X]

<randomguy99> What's a guy (like me) got to do to get +h or higher around here?
<PPN[fp]> send cash
<PPN[fp]> :D
<randomguy99> Can't I just sleep with someone?
<PPN[fp]> all the ops are male
* randomguy99 is now known as randomchick99
<randomchick99> not a problem

#107445 +(708)- [X]

<bob_hobo_killer> It's 10:00 do you know where your children are?
<meiv4> in a handful of tissues in my trashcan

#107453 +(96)- [X]

<pk_madness00> my nick list is on my penis
<pk_madness00> :\
<Dagny> !kick pk_madness00 short list eh?

#107473 +(555)- [X]

<F|Mizan> "Canada.com is reporting that some 20,000 Canadians listed "Jedi" as their religion in the last national census (2001)"
<M|SubAt0Mic> No wonder the US doesn't respect us

#107477 +(159)- [X]

<@London> and you're 18, a little early to be making a huge deal out of a 5 month relationship
<%KiK`Grieving> Normally I would agree, but even though it's been only 5 months, it seems like so much more.
<+Spazz> He plays quake and idles in a channel on netfrag.  Having a girlfriend is like.. a status.  Puts you above the rest.  When you lose that status, it sucks.  :p
<%KiK`Grieving> Indeed.

#107490 +(500)- [X]

<Torke> haha, tgp couldn't score with a chick if she came right up to him and asked to suck his dick
<Torke> because
<Torke> that happened
<Torke> and he didn't score

#107493 +(914)- [X]

<@sioux> it's going to be tricky tomorrow, i don't know if i'll make it
<@sioux> so if something happens to me, will one of you come and delete my pr0n?
<@sioux> i don't want my mother to find it
<@sioux> but please make sure i'm dead. wait until after the funeral. don't delete that shit while i'm still on life support or in a coma or something
<@sioux> if by some "act of god" or a donor organ i'm miraculously saved, and i come home and all my pr0n is gone, i'm going to kill myself

#107496 +(231)- [X]

<ksennin> Easy E is the only member of NWA who gets any pussy
<TripleRach> doubtful
<TripleRach> easy e is dead
<ksennin> what really
<TripleRach> uh yeah
<ksennin> oh man i lost track of my homies. :|
<TripleRach> he died of aids many years ago
<ksennin> aha
<ksennin> So he did get lots of pussy.

#107515 +(396)- [X]

<Legal18f> yet they insist on a/s/l!
<smarm> hehe
<Legal18f> Isn't it obvious by my nick that I'm a 21 year old male?

#107516 +(550)- [X]

<Work_Plague> irl?
<WorkLord> its like irc only with less text and more gravity

#107517 +(1)- [X]

<WeZ> goodie 1 more hour then home time for me
<WeZ> hehe
<WeZ> not coming back this afternoon
<Guyt_X> lucky
<Guyt_X> why
<Guyt_X> do u need to eat ?
* Guyt_X runs
<WeZ> going to the doctor to have a mole removed
<Guyt_X> why dont u just wash
<Guyt_X> sorry im nasty
<Guyt_X> that was un called for
<WeZ> sies
* Guyt_X goes to wash his mouth out with soap
* Guyt_X hands WeZ the soap
<Guyt_X> u might need this

#107533 +(380)- [X]

<slayer> Punctuation should be accompanied with correct smelling and grammar.

#107538 +(226)- [X]

<InvisableMan> with the new P4s and the amd opteron...
<Wish> Apple getting bashed everywhere :)
<InvisableMan> apple is the chick at the bukakke party

#107572 +(444)- [X]

* fudge stares @ his big package
<NightsB> ....
<NightsB> i really hope you got something in the mail
<fudge> yea
<NightsB> ah
<fudge> it didnt occur to me what i said..until after i said it

#107732 +(245)- [X]

<Gunslinger> The current version of Land Warrior had been intended for operational use in 2004. Although it has been much improved over earlier prototypes, the system was deemed “unreliable” and unlikely to survive the rigors of combat.
<Gunslinger> He explained that LW has three basic “assemblies,” the helmet, the body and the weapons. The helmet assembly has a wireless antenna, a helmet mounted display and a helmet interface assembly. The body assembly has a GPS receiver, a navigation box, a 500-megahertz rugged com-
<Gunslinger> puter operating Windows 2000, another smaller computer connected to the other PC and a voice-data communications control set.
<Gunslinger> Their RUnning Windows 2K! HAHAHAHAHAHA
<Gunslinger> We're so fucked...
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> aroo?
<KaiserPanda> lol!!
<Takkie> good lord
<Takkie> can you imagine?
<Takkie> "Illegal operation"
<Gunslinger> "Sir, I can't call in for Air support! Should I Ctrl+Alt+Del?"

#107755 +(176)- [X]

<prefix-> I just feel like going upto any idiotic bitch that says porn is bad and that boys will be fawked by looking at it, and just flap down my pants and slap my penis at her

#107809 +(968)- [X]

<Wheelman56> when i look back on what i just did to my dog i no longer wonder why i have no friends
<Jessi> what did you do to the poor thing
<Wheelman56> i took an empty cup and put it on my mouth and inhaled, therefore sticking it to my face
<Wheelman56> then i jumped up at down at my dog
<Wheelman56> waving my arms
<Wheelman56> and making bird sounds
<Wheelman56> ...

#107853 +(635)- [X]

<Kazz> I like how Unreal Tournament is way better than Unreal.
<Kazz> Like how Casablanca Tournament was better than Casablanca.
<Random-Guy> "In all the servers in all the clans...she had to join mine."
<Kazz> "Frag the usual suspects."
<SoulBain> "Damnit, you can flag cap for her you can do it for me."
<Kazz> "I am shocked, SHOCKED to find that camping is going on in this casino!"

#107855 +(385)- [X]

AoD> Hey.  Would anyone here have paid money to kick Saddam out of power?
<dubuto> Sure.
<AoD> Pick a figure.
<dubuto> I heard the Iraq thing cost 63odd billion.
<AoD> What would it have been worth to you to get rid of him?
<AoD> OUt of your pocket.
<dubuto> Tough question.
<AoD> It cost us 220 dollars each.
<Meadow_Boxer> Ain't that some shit
<AoD> Could have been worse.
<AoD> Hell, at 220 dollars a pop, I'm game for another tyrant!
<Gavok> How much to eliminate Whoopie Goldberg?

#107860 +(811)- [X]

<HunterZero|Home> my microwave is growling at me
<Baastuul> take the baby out

#107985 +(581)- [X]

* EB eats a banana, really slowly
* SC finds that disturbing.
* eye too
* EB CHOMPS
<eye> O_O
<SC> uck.
* Reis gets an erection.
<eye> for some reason that makes my will yhurt
<EB> lol
<EB> I love doing that... especially when there are lots of people around. Eat your banana really slow. THen suddenly, go CHOMP
<SC> heh
<EB> And see how many guys wince.
<eye> you madam are evil!
<EB> yes, yes I am

#108030 +(237)- [X]

* angeliz she slowly moves her tongue into his mouth ...he loves it
[Beckham] angeliz?
[Petrock] wrong room?
*** angeliz has left #highveld

#108107 +(526)- [X]

<axi0m> dude
<axi0m> i didnt just cut it
<axi0m> I fucking
<axi0m> lodged the casing of the hdd into my finger
<axi0m> i had to yank it out
*** faze changes the topic to '*** Joins: axi0m (axi0m@fusion.will.run-the.NET)
<faze> were u termperarily able to access your harddrive via your circulatory system
<faze> or am i watchin to many tv shows =
<axi0m> yea dude
<axi0m> it was l33t
<axi0m> then I jammed a cat5 cable up my ass and accessed the matrix

#108216 +(790)- [X]

iHeartDonKnotts: So Tuesday we go to Fry's
iHeartDonKnotts: And I buy a few CD-Rs
iHeartDonKnotts: Rick buys Half Life Platinum Pack, despite all of us urging him not to
iHeartDonKnotts: And Mo fucking steals two hard drives, a 9700, and an mp3 player
cyateon: wtf
iHeartDonKnotts: I know!
iHeartDonKnotts: Fuck, Rick, I'll burn it for you!

#108391 +(371)- [X]

AndrewLB: The term "What the fuck" might apply here.
AriaStargazer: Would it? :o
AndrewLB: My computer crashes, and now windows claims it's January 1st 1980...
CrossAlkaid: Your computer is fondly remembering when you weren't born yet.
AndrewLB: One sec, I'm going to go out and buy as much stock as I can before time re-asserts it's self.

#108493 +(328)- [X]

<dts|sKratch> get a serial ata drive
<dts|Oleander> www.shitsex.com
<dts|Oleander> wait
<dts|sKratch> it plugs into pci
<dts|Oleander> wrong link
<dts|Oleander> ahha
<dts|sKratch> HAHAHA
<dts|sKratch> gg clipboard

#108527 +(405)- [X]

<Sargasm> It must be a bitch to write your name in the snow in Arabic

#108596 +(168)- [X]

--> Globulus (~XXXXXX@XXXXXX.XXXXXXcpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined #c
* Globulus why they ban me from #china all I say is "ME CHINESE ME MAKE JOKE ME PUT PEE PEE IN YOUR COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
--- qball sets ban on *!*@*.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com

#108597 +(331)- [X]

<Sageous> I had a dream that i met michael jackson and he held my hand while we talked for about 10 minutes....i woke up feeling like i understood all the weirdness about him...but then it faded like dreams do and now i cant understand him again.
<Miss_P> i'd be more worried about him holding your hand if i were you

#108598 +(128)- [X]

<Harri> see, i need some kind of rig where i can just think what i want to type
<pinball_dreams> then we'd get loads of sick man-love talk though...and you'd be well and truly caught out once more...

#108609 +(90)- [X]

<sta-hi> its too bad that i really like their voices... at least the end
          result after mixing, and that i have an affinity for russians...
<sta-hi> tatu is just too dumb to fit my perceptions.
<sta-hi> they confuse me.

#108614 +(565)- [X]

<ChopLogik> ie ergo vis-a-vis concordantly ex thusly betwixt!
<Brass> Chop:  You missed a "therefore" and a "etc."
<ChopLogik> well i didnt miss YOUR MOM WITH A HUGE LOAD OF SEMEN

#108617 +(237)- [X]

<ChopLogik> Girls are like voltron, the more you stick together, the better it gets.

#108629 +(174)- [X]

<vasquez> whatever happened to that terron fellow?
* wabbit points to jeff0r
<DragonLord98> he died
<DragonLord98> he got in a car wreck
<DragonLord98> he got thrown through the windshield
<DragonLord98> into oncomming traffic
<vasquez> aww
<DragonLord98> and hit by a church bus
<vasquez> HAHA
<vasquez> i knew that religion bull would kill him in the end


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