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#106634 +(339)- [X]

<SpaceMonkey> welp, I'll have to give it a shot after I'm through downloading concentrated satan
<norse> realplayer?
<SpaceMonkey> quicktime

#106643 +(211)- [X]

<Mr_Hanky> fubu = Farmers Used to Beat Us?

#106645 +(157)- [X]

@(TekU4iA) btw
@(TekU4iA) its 195bpm
@(TekU4iA) thanks
@(TekU4iA) K
  (thebigo) 195?
  (thebigo) who do you think you are? squarepusher?

#106661 +(575)- [X]

<timb> I went into a local burger resturaunt, just a local town king if thing, pretty small, and I was wearing my I dig Mac OS X shirt
<Toad> geek
<timb> and the girl at the counter, really cute, about 18 or 19 went "I like your shirt!"
<timb> and I went w00t! and she smilled the biggest smile and winked at me
<Toad> you _said_ "w00t!"? wow
<timb> yes, I said w00t
<Toad> like "double u zero zero t"?
<timb> no
<Toad> like "woot"
<timb> just plain woot

#106663 +(109)- [X]

<Kudakeru> i just comitted a twinkie hate crime...

#106677 +(677)- [X]

<Stevus> my pass is 6 letters long
<Stevus> random letters i've memorized ;D
<Dragon_Tear> kewl
<LockeJV|goPadres> it's s-t-e-v-u-s
<Stevus> nah
<Stevus> it's iakeuk
<Stevus> er
<Stevus> fuck

#106679 +(433)- [X]

<college^boy> hey
<college^boy> asl?
<phoxie17> 43/m/prison
<college^boy> seriouslly?

#106717 +(380)- [X]

<StormCyko> i should get rich by making a gym for nerds with treadmills etc with LCD screens and internet access
<Gwala> StormCyko: you know that kinda sounds cool.
<AlpViper> you need incentive to make them run
<AlpViper> the screens would have to be powered by the running
* @Engush notes that most nerds who would go near a gym
<StormCyko> heh
<AlpViper> I know, make it if they drop below their targit HR/speed their net link turns off
<Engush> hahaha
<StormCyko> or have the bandwidth relative to their speed
<AlpViper> wed have asian counter-strike players dieing in front of computers a lot more often

#106720 +(253)- [X]

<cynical`> Math was cool until it's homosexual friend algebra came along

#106767 +(271)- [X]

<Tom> Would it surprise you if a Mozilla browser on the Mac failed to adhere to max lengths set in a textbox?
<Jon> It doesn't surprise me, because nobody adheres to the fucking W3C. it's like, of all the standards organizations in the world, they are universally ignored by pretty much everyone.
<Jon> W3C says: "Electricity must flow from negative to positive, because that's the way electricity works."
<Jon> Microsoft would say: "You can specify the direction of electrical flow, as well as whether or not you can kill yourself with it."
<Jon> Mozilla would say: "Electricity?"

#106768 +(167)- [X]

< GrandTheft> What would be an example of an iptables rule that would allow anything and everything to come into the computer?
< tewmten> ehm.. iptables -f perhaps?
< GrandTheft> hmm let me try that
| GrandTheft [Grand@68.16.40.90] quit #slackware [Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer)]

#106771 +(13)- [X]

<RocketMan> i came up with a new chocolately cereal that turns your milk brown
<RocketMan> they're called Negr-O's

#106787 +(2456)- [X]

<Supra87T> aw, for shits sake!
<Snipa> what?
<Supra87T> remember sarah? well, the other night we fucked, and now i have to get tested for aids.
<Snipa> Think positive
<Supra87T> fuck you man, thats not even funny

#106805 +(647)- [X]

<gromky> I used to like to go to #deaf and ask if anyone was trading MP3's.
<gromky> Still do, once in a while, for old times' sake.

#106846 +(44)- [X]

<Supa_Kuraka> if you flirt with the female version of yourself... is that masturbation or incest?

#106851 +(628)- [X]

* Yugi_moto take out his card deck
  <DoesNotExist> Yu-Gi-Oh is fricking hilarious.
  <DoesNotExist> the hero's all like "I play my Blue Eyes White Dragon in defense position and attack!" and they all act like it was a stunning strategical move.
  <DoesNotExist> it's an overly dramatic version of a magic the gathering tournament, which makes it so hilarious.
  <Yugi_moto> I play black skull DRAGON IN ATACK MODE NOW BLACK SKULL Dragon ATTACK BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON
  <Yugi_moto> ablterrate
  <DoesNotExist> and they EXPLAIN THE RULES BEHIND EVERY SINGLE MOVE.
  <DoesNotExist> "My blue eyes white dragon attacks... THE MOON!"
  <Yugi_moto> black skull dragon  has  3200 atack points blue Eyes white dragon has 3000 atack points i have the stronger monster by atack points that means you lose 200 life points
  <DoesNotExist> no, i play Mystical Swirling Hat Shield to counter that, which increases the Blue Eyes White Dragon's attack by 53...
  <Yugi_moto> I play pendulam machine
  <Yugi_moto> no
  <Yugi_moto> Mysticazl Elf does that
  <Yugi_moto> Mystical Elf
  <DoesNotExist> i play Flaming Sword of Cheesy Goodness on Blue Eyes White Dragon as my last move, increasing my BEWD's attack by a triumphant 3333 due to my cheescake i'm eating.
  <Yugi_moto> I sumon exiodea
  <Yugi_moto> autometic win
  <DoesNotExist> i play counterspell, discarding it.
  <Yugi_moto> yuoo cant
  <DoesNotExist> Yes i can. o_O
  * DoesNotExist holds up his counterspell.
  * DoesNotExist taps two islands...
  * DoesNotExist plays counterspell on exiodea...
  * DoesNotExist discards exiodea.,
  <DoesNotExist> Now then, i play...
  * DoesNotExist summons Sephiroth!
  <DoesNotExist> I summon Sephiroth in the Lance Bass position, which causes your black skull dragon to commit suicide from the terrible n*sync music.

#106853 +(47)- [X]

<Olympus> Mikelo2k is gay
* Mikelo2k pwnz
<akcom> you pwn rosey palms
<Olympus> hehee
<akcom> she nevers talks back, and i hear she gives great hand jobs

#106854 +(386)- [X]

<Gohanmastaflex> \+\
<Gohanmastaflex> (>^^(>**)>
<Gohanmastaflex> catholic priest kirby!

#106856 +(358)- [X]

<Gohanmastaflex> www.imac.com - "LOOLLOLOL I GOT A PC BTU I CNT FIGUR IT OWT IT WEN ALL LIKE "BEEEEEEP' AND NO WI GOT A MAC AND ITS LIKE 'BEEP' BUT IN TEH GOOD WAY SO YAH ITS PRETY."
<Gohanmastaflex> Macintosh computer are easy to use. It's also easy to stick your hand in a wood chipper.

#106857 +(169)- [X]

<Flamecuber> lava-lord, have you ever swallowed a goat whole?
<lava-lord> no but my friend has eaten fat bastard.
<Flamecuber> whole or by limb?
<lava-lord> whole.
<Flamecuber> thats going to replace the clown in my nightmares

#106860 +(190)- [X]

<Kazimierz> the fast and the furious was full of homoerotic undertones
<Kazimierz> just you couldn't hear them under the loud music and loud car engines

#106861 +(138)- [X]

<Stratisphere> mirc must be the most annoying and addictive application (appart from solitare) ever developed for the pc

#106862 +(146)- [X]

<hippyjoe> anyone one of u guys tried viagra?
<Traeno> yea
<Traeno> i snort it every now and then
<hippyjoe> traeno i mean, take it then have sex
<hippyjoe> not take it then beat off

#106864 +(204)- [X]

<Alice> damn the man, save the empire!
<Misseh> damn the empire , SAVE THE MAN !! ;-)
<Eriond^AFK> damn the empire, sod the man, screw the woman

#106869 +(33)- [X]

<Jeian> SeCuRe: who would you rather fuck? Marilyn Manson or the Hanson lead singer? ;]
<SeCuRe> Jeain good god I would take Manson anyday lol
<SeCuRe> he has tits!
<SeCuRe> He does! and hason are all flat chested..
<SeCuRe> at least manson will let me rub them

#106874 +(252)- [X]

<Trev-MUN> AND WHY ARE THERE TWO BEIGES IN HERE
<BeigeGoo> Because I'm on a different computer.
* E_Megas is tempted to kick the idle Beige just for fun.
* Trev-MUN watches Beige run over to the other computer to show he's not idle.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> Nope, I'm not idle! *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo> Not idle either!
<BeigeGoo> Megas, that would be wrong.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> Are you idle? *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo> Nope. :(
<Beige> I agree.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> We're not idle, Megas. *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo> Yes. :(
<Trev-MUN> * Beige was kicked by E_Megas (LACEYDOOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAA)
<Trev-MUN> <BeigeGoo> ... >(
<BeigeGoo> Thanks for the re-enactment.
<Trev-MUN> Anytime.

#106876 +(722)- [X]

<Kobe_Tai> guy comes in complaining of abdominal/rectal pain
<Kobe_Tai> all of his vitals look okay
<Kobe_Tai> no abdominal distension
<Kobe_Tai> no nauseau/vomiting
<Kobe_Tai> we go ahead and admit him
<Kobe_Tai> and during his initial body audit
<Kobe_Tai> I see scratches and tearing all around his anus
<Kobe_Tai> so I'm like "have you been raped? or eaten anything unusual?"
<Kobe_Tai> and hes like "no"
<Kobe_Tai> so I make him an appointment with radiology
<Kobe_Tai> and send him down for an Abdominal Ultrasound
<Kobe_Tai> about 45 minutes later, they're calling me
<Kobe_Tai> and they're like "OMFG COME DOWN HERE"
<Kobe_Tai> so I go down
<Kobe_Tai> and theyre all like white as ghosts
<Kobe_Tai> I put the film up on the slidr
<Kobe_Tai> *slider
<Kobe_Tai> the guy failed to mention that he had ?AN ENTIRE VLASIC PICLE JAR RAMMED UP HIS ASS
<Kobe_Tai> pickle
<Kobe_Tai> so, we sent him to surgery
<Kobe_Tai> and because the lid was off
<Kobe_Tai> it formed a vacuum
<Kobe_Tai> and they had a real hard time removing it
<Kobe_Tai> no, they drilled a hole in it to release the vacuum
<Kobe_Tai> when they did he hemorrhafed
<Kobe_Tai> *hemorhagged
<alex> all he wanted was to have a good time :(
<alex> first of all if i wanted to have anal sex with a jar i would find one of those plastic ones

#106877 +(171)- [X]

< maria> iMacs look a little like breasts with some sort of appendage stuck on where the nipple should be
<@pearlbear> maria: !
< maria> what?!
< maria> they do!
<@pearlbear> they do, now, don't they
< karynn> maria needs to get laid
<@pearlbear> why didn't I ever notice that.
<@pearlbear> I mean those circles of vents on the top...
* pearlbear now has a new reason to love her iMac

#106879 +(154)- [X]

<jZSAURONZj> Oh Cool, someone sent me a Video clip of Punky Brewster all grown up and feeling herself up
<jZSAURONZj> I love friends

#106880 +(232)- [X]

*** Spazz has quit IRC (Quit: Connection reset by peer pressure)

#106886 +(33)- [X]

---- Jeb changes topic to: http://pussyinacan.com/products.html
-[ Jeb ]- there we go
-[ J_B_007 ]- wow
-[ J_B_007 ]- thats all they sell
-[ Jeb ]- lol but all diferrent kinds
-[ Jeb ]- if u click on the product
-[ J_B_007 ]- oh
* J_B_007 goes back
-[ J_B_007 ]- heh
-[ J_B_007 ]- is there a diff between the pussy and the mouth except that its turned sideways?
-[ Jeb ]- lol

#106892 +(235)- [X]

* `Dave` goes to his favourite suicide site
<`Dave`> they tell you how to do it properly
<Yuriko> if they were that good at it they wouldn't be able to write the site...

#106897 +(258)- [X]

<diktatormike_> that's the tao of machines....corect one problem only to see 3 more underlying problems
<Vlad902> I know, wtf, that's what happened in 1969, they found a bug in ls and ended up with Windows...

#106899 +(28)- [X]

<malice_dear> Hi! Whatcha doing?
<Setzu> fapping
<malice_dear> fapping? what's that?
<14nicotine> press alt + f4 to find out malice_dear «~A4@325AF6D4.DBC29C8E.50EC96A9.IP» has Quit iRC (Leaving)

#106901 +(29)- [X]

<void> I have cyberspew on my keyboard  <lewsha> it's cause you didn't use your WWW condom :(

#106912 +(733)- [X]

<DJ> I like riding my dog after rain. Rain makes her frisky, so she's faster.
<DJ> ...riding my dog around the block.
<DJ> ...on a bike
<Jinjo_Eagle> ...
<DJ> Because it's faster, and she can keep up easier when she's frisky
<DJ> That first line came out all wrong
<Jinjo_Eagle> You can't make that look better.
<Jinjo_Eagle> Yes, yes it did, and there is nothing you can do about it.
<DJ> I don't walk my dog, I have the leash around my wrist as I ride my bike around the block!
<MewMewtwo45> Hehehe
<DJ> And my dog gets hyper after it has rained!
<Jinjo_Eagle> Okay, sure.
<DJ> :(
* Jinjo_Eagle pats DJ on the back

#106916 +(339)- [X]

<-yptosis> I've ingested 12 liters of mountain dew in 4 days.
<CaptainTwopegleg> That's 3 liters a day!
<mike> light weight
<BloodFromStone> That it is.
<-yptosis> Thats a lot for me.
<-yptosis> I've just started pouring it directly in the toilet to save time.

#106919 +(338)- [X]

<e> I don't watch tv.
<e> Too many popup ads during movies.

#106928 +(274)- [X]

Reganbishop: my house may be sold, my boss is an idiot, and my x is a pain......
Kanzure: ahhh grasshopper. You have achieved the american dream....

#106968 +(213)- [X]

<NekoGuy> Non-Human Intelligent Rights Act: Subsection 4a. Digital Intelligence: Any conscious program shall never run under the Windows Operating System.

#106974 +(413)- [X]

* Wanai slaps AndrewLB around a bit with a large trout
<AndrewLB> ???
<AndrewLB> What did I do?
<Wanai> sorry, just discovering stuff :p
<Wanai> no harm towards you
<AndrewLB> Oh, discovery, eh?
* AndrewLB gets out whip, candles and enema.
<AndrewLB> I've got your discovery right here bitch.

#106976 +(301)- [X]

<TurdS> i have to go and negociate the release of the chocolate hostages
* TurdS is now known as TurdS[shitting]

#107007 +(436)- [X]

< bijection> Could everyone in IT do me a favour? Stop using the word "solution" to describe fucking everything under the sun. A computer is not a "solution". A piece of software is not a "solution". A minimum wage asshole plugging in the $1.50 network cable is not a "solution".

#107020 +(371)- [X]

<Volt9000> Forget stabbing people in the face over the Internet.... I'd become wealthy if I made a program where you enter someone's IP address and you can remotely sterilize them

#107062 +(208)- [X]

<[DOtR]Kudos|> I CANT GET IN
<Steele{GONE}> i said that to a virgin once

#107068 +(879)- [X]

<toe2toe> See in the news that prince harry apparantly regularly picks up girls and takes them home
<toe2toe> im just trying to picture that
<toe2toe> *Whispering* "Be very quiet, i dont want to wake my dad.."
<toe2toe> *shouting* "LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE!"

#107079 +(996)- [X]

Video games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music. - Kristian Wilson, CEO at Nintendo Gaming Corporation Inc.

#107101 +(216)- [X]

*** BRNOUt has joined #sgl2
* Babau glares.
*** BRNOUt has left #sgl2

#107111 +(869)- [X]

* +bulitpruf is AFK, playing horseshoes wit my blind uncle and his midget son
* +sab0t is AFK, playing horseshoes with my midget son & my gay nephew

#107123 +(225)- [X]

(Xerox): Right on! Hey, there are some Thai tribes that are afraid of spirits called phii, or "widow ghosts." These spirits are sexually voracious women who have died violently, and they attack men in their sleep. The charm for these are giant wooden phallus carvings outside the house. They work by acting as decoys.
(Squizzle): Xerox: Eh, every culture tries to explain nocturnal emissions.
(Xerox): To quote my book: "...Ranging from the crudest wooden shafts, to carefully carved images complete with coconut shell testicles and fishnet pubic hair..."
(Xerox): Yes, but this one I find particularly humorous.
(Xerox): Imagine going into some village and seeing giant penis statues everywhere.
(Squizzle): That would truly rule.
(Rico): It'd be funnier if the Moai had giant stone schlongs.
(Xerox): Well, that certainly would've made a few old Konami shooters a lot more interesting...
(Rico): Options- the glorified orange spermicide.


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