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#104644 +(264)- [X]

RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think "oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!" and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere...

#104694 +(611)- [X]

PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the awesome none of the bullshit.

#104696 +(85)- [X]

<Mystic_Fibrosis> wouldn't be ironic if my worth as a person was determined by my connection quality?
<nosmo> you are unreliable and frequently die
<nosmo> but quite fast
<nosmo> me however :D Fast, I can keep going for 8 days (so far) can get huge amounts done in seconds :D

#104704 +(220)- [X]

<FoxMcCloud> Do you think Shigeru Miyamoto screams out pokemon-names during sex?

#104706 +(353)- [X]

(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be incest?
(mortiis) no
(mortiis) idiot

#104713 +(153)- [X]

<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<thecool> lol
<hgl> no porn is me time

#104718 +(298)- [X]

<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't polute humanitys gene pool

#104725 +(211)- [X]

<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!

#104741 +(64)- [X]

<vSvAINT> Rune...do you ever Sleep Man?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <dcpsoguy> r00n: Do you sleep?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <@RuneWalsh> nah, sleeping goes against everything I believe in
<vSvAINT> it's kind of sad you have a prepared response for that
<RuneWalsh> no, it's spontaneous
<vSvAINT> Spontaneous like Combustion or Spontaneous like Jerry Lewis?
<RuneWalsh> besides, I responded to that question earlier and didn't feel like typing that again
<RuneWalsh> I'll have to think about that
<RuneWalsh> I wouldn't really call Jerry Lewis spontaneous though
<RuneWalsh> which doubles as my point as well
<vSvAINT> Haha Instantaneous. "NEW! Instantaneous Jerry Lewis!  Just add Water!"
<RuneWalsh> "Wow mommy, can I have one?"
<RuneWalsh> "Not till you're older, dear"

#104747 +(306)- [X]

* Wang feasts on elbow macaroni and baby carrots
<slm> good for you, you have the diet of a 3 year old
<Wang> woo
<Wang> and i'm hung like one too
<Wang> ...
<slm> uhhhh... congrats?

#104750 +(100)- [X]

<Jamon> he said, "my girlfriend fucks like a rabid hamster."
<Jamon> other guy said, "wow, that's great.....mine fucks like a walrus."

#104759 +(322)- [X]

* freeloki hopes that this emote works; otherwise, he'll look like an idiot.
<Abstruse> "emote"?
* freeloki notes that his emoting was successful. 8)
<Abstruse> I remember when the /me command was called an ACTION...now it's an "emote"?  Dude, they've finally managed to pussify IRC...

#104762 +(124)- [X]

<sixxer> bmbr.. ROOOOOOCKS
<bmbr> yeo
<bmbr> whysat
<sixxer> bmbr: cos of your new bot
<bmbr> hopefully he stays stable and quiet
<bmbr> and takes very little work on my part
<sixxer> I'd like to see him freak out and start throwing people in blenders
<bmbr> ill see if theres a .tcl for that

#104768 +(6)- [X]

<NeilX> They have rename the Bible
<NeilX> its now called
<NeilX> The Sidez
<NeilX> I read chapter one.
<NeilX> the hold gospel according to Sega
<NeilX> and the mighty sidez came down
<NeilX> and he said
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua fighter
<NeilX> the lord sidez said
<NeilX> teh sucks there is no good combo moves
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER 2
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua figher
<wazy> neil is drunk
<NeilX> but the elite g0d sidez said, i need more vectorz
<Sidez> TEH XBOX
<NeilX> and it sucked
* NeilX laughs

#104770 +(184)- [X]

<`sic> now that should be in guinness
<`sic> world record for longest rolling ball of cats

#104791 +(329)- [X]

<@Phucker> Calling people by their real-names on IRC is a violation of RFC1459.

#104799 +(279)- [X]

<xen0cide> Whats black and blue and hates sex?
<Cloud9> Jesus, what?
<xen0cide> Its not Jesus, its the 7 year old in my trunk.
<Cloud9> You sick fuck.

#104878 +(223)- [X]

* darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are just Bill Hicks quotes
<darkLem> cheating bastards.

#104893 +(68)- [X]

<ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
<ChemicalBurn> scarey!
* ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower

#104916 +(17)- [X]

<Siidu> what died, the hdd?
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> FUCKING CHRIST!
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> yeah
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> some complicated core shit
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> brought it down faster than a fat chick falling down a stairwell

#104922 +(425)- [X]

<GrimReap99> Anti is an example of an over-irc-ed child.
<GrimReap99> Antidead: "Hallo mother, what is for teh breakfahst? double eww tee eff? Pancakes? Stfu."
<ANTIAWAY> dad - "!kb Antidead"
<GrimReap99> Mother: "!topic Pancakes biotch"

#104928 +(316)- [X]

<ANTIDEAD> I had a dream last night that I met you in real life, so we dressed up as zoro and smuggled drugs over the mexican border
<ANTIDEAD> Perhaps I should lay off the burritos

#104929 +(466)- [X]

DoUBle  ChiN 47: omg im gonna be the most popular kid in school tomorrow
rcknouttonight: why
DoUBle  ChiN 47: i have tic tacs

#104937 +(395)- [X]

<SillyBoob> HELP
<Takaznik> type /quit get cd list and wait for about an hour
* Quits: SillyBoob (get cd list)
<Naked_Eye> How much you bet he will be back in an hour

#104946 +(666)- [X]

MYNAME15NEO: Damnit...
DgtlHavoc: ?
MYNAME15NEO: The only place I can put my cheezits will block the light on my keyboard
DgtlHavoc: did you try the top of your head?
DgtlHavoc: on top the monitor?
DgtlHavoc: on the floor?
MYNAME15NEO: Thats where I've got the lamp
MYNAME15NEO: The monitors already got enough shit on it
MYNAME15NEO: And I don't have a floor
DgtlHavoc: ?
DgtlHavoc: living in a electomagnetically suspended desk?
MYNAME15NEO: Chair and desk is suspended from cables by a blackhawk helicopter
MYNAME15NEO: I won the helicopter using my Pepsi points

#104952 +(542)- [X]

XtBA: oh yea and my moms wants u to ask ur pops if he can drive us to air plane thing

XtBA: holy shit i forgot the name

XtBA: oh yea... airport

Jiggy: ....wow

XtBA: haha i was thinking bout plane station

#105097 +(194)- [X]

<sKILLET> wut up m?
<m> uhm
<m> J, K and L

#105108 +(-986)- [X]

<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
<@SJr> g                                               g 
<@SJr> o /                              /           o 
<@SJr> a|       |                       |      |      a 
<@SJr> t|       `.             |         |       :     t 
<@SJr> s`        |             |        |       |     s 
<@SJr> e        | /       /  \   --__ \       :    e 
<@SJr> x        /   _--~~          ~--__|      |    x 
<@SJr> *         _-~                    ~-_    |    * 
<@SJr> g    _             _.--------.______|   |    g 
<@SJr> o           ______// _ ___ _ (_(__>     |    o 
<@SJr> a          .  C ___)  ______ (_(____>  |  /    a 
<@SJr> t       / |   C ____)/       (_____>  |_/     t 
<@SJr> s      / /|   C_____)       |  (___>   /      s 
<@SJr> e     |   (   _C_____)______/  // _/ /        e 
<@SJr> x     |      |__   \_________// (__/       |  x 
<@SJr> *    |     ____)   `----   --'             |  * 
<@SJr> g    |  _          ___       /_          _/ | g 
<@SJr> o   |              /    |     |              | o 
<@SJr> a   |             |    /                    | a 
<@SJr> t   |          / /    |         |             |t 
<@SJr> s   |         / /      __/___/    |          |s 
<@SJr> e  |         / /        |    |       |         |e 
<@SJr> x  |          |         |    |       |         |x 
<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *

#105156 +(188)- [X]

<sui`> the good news is, you're almost through the sickness
<sui`> the bad news is, it's sars and you're going to die.

#105159 +(235)- [X]

<Batty> Darth Vader is Lukes father!
<Batty> and father in dutch = vader
<Borlath_Mon> ...yeeeeeees
<Batty> So he's darth father!
<Borlath_Mon> So? George Lucas wasn't counting on Star Wars fans to be clever enough to speak any language other than "Trailer Trash".

#105162 +(142)- [X]

<gash> It's hard to find a potenial employer that will accept resume's via dcc :)

#105164 +(291)- [X]

<Svenson> lol.. yahoo says "Someone else has already chosen svensonwhocannotfigureoutaloginname"

#105166 +(38)- [X]

<@cs`on`xbox> it's fucking hott
<@cs`on`xbox> no more spikes
<@cs`on`xbox> no more lag
<@cs`on`xbox> no more fps problems
<@cs`on`xbox> just CS
<+oi> i'll steal your tv

#105168 +(181)- [X]

<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that

#105170 +(317)- [X]

<Eckostyle> any girls want sex? send me a message privately
<Eckostyle> fuck, my mom saw me type that

#105176 +(118)- [X]

<Satan> lmao "You know how bad evolution is going right now?  Me."

#105177 +(130)- [X]

<phreakinb> 1876: At the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, America's first 100-year birthday bash, fair goers visit the Turkish Hashish Exposition and toke up in order to enhance their fair experience.
<`WarpKat> it's nice to know that my parents weren't the only stoners from the past

#105178 +(451)- [X]

<Boycy> ooh, find me an ip :)
<Boycy> have a 3line batch file to send the same net send msg until you push Ctrl+C :D
<Hub-Security> boycy has ip:
<Boycy> excuse me for a few seconds...
<Boycy> FUCKER
<Kameleon> lmao
<Boycy> I know how to find *my* ip you bastard
<Boycy> 600 shitty net send boxes oh god I hate you

#105180 +(420)- [X]

<Eckostyle> If Mexico had a major eathquake, Britain would send 100,000 replacement troopes to control the riots, Brasil would send 100,00 pounds of replacement food, and teh USA would send 100,000 repalcement Mexicans

#105190 +(119)- [X]

* phoen][x hears 'Sounds of /dev/urandom' (dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/dsp)

#105195 +(149)- [X]

<D> the #amish dont believe in pr0n
<D> :P
<D> well, they do
<D> but it's all ankle-flashing to them

#105196 +(192)- [X]

<gbWrk> * U.N. nuke agency urges Iran to be 'fully transparent'
<gbWrk> turn Iran into glass!

#105197 +(391)- [X]

<CaSe-> mines this big [-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]
<Commando^> Your dick has wordwrap?

#105199 +(703)- [X]


#105201 +(182)- [X]

<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?1730
<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?3630
<BadDoggie> http://bash.org/?22799
<BadDoggie> Wasted: quit typing the top 100
<Mitzii> why, your monitor running out of ink or something???

#105202 +(195)- [X]

<JOCK> i want to go to Six Fags
<JOCK> Flags>>>>>>.....sorry
<KID_B> You wanna go do Six Fags?
* KID_B steps back
<KID_B> word up man.. do your thing..
<JOCK> nawww man
<JOCK> you know rides,lonnytoons,and stuff
<KID_B> Yeah. Gay bars.

#105208 +(18)- [X]

<BobTheMilkman> eating eggs is liking giving a bird an abortion followed by eating the aborted fetus

#105209 +(366)- [X]

<omega> it was funny
<omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of these latley, about the us)
<omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
<omega> like
<omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
<omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
<omega> gave him weapons
<omega> and shit
<omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama, and then had to later go in and get him
<omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
<omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
<omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
<omega> and then he stopped talking

#105213 +(211)- [X]

<Airlea> it used to horrify me every time we went past a field of sheep.. he'd make all these noises. That's why he's an ex.

#105216 +(75)- [X]

<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> yeah
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> hm
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa?

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