#104644 +(264)- [X]
RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think "oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!" and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere...
#104694 +(612)- [X]
PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the awesome none of the bullshit.
#104696 +(86)- [X]
<Mystic_Fibrosis> wouldn't be ironic if my worth as a person was determined by my connection quality?
<nosmo> you are unreliable and frequently die
<nosmo> but quite fast
<nosmo> me however :D Fast, I can keep going for 8 days (so far) can get huge amounts done in seconds :D
#104704 +(221)- [X]
<FoxMcCloud> Do you think Shigeru Miyamoto screams out pokemon-names during sex?
#104706 +(354)- [X]
(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be incest?
#104713 +(152)- [X]
<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<hgl> no porn is me time
#104718 +(298)- [X]
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't polute humanitys gene pool
#104725 +(212)- [X]
<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!
#104741 +(65)- [X]
<vSvAINT> Rune...do you ever Sleep Man?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <dcpsoguy> r00n: Do you sleep?
<RuneWalsh> [09:01am] <@RuneWalsh> nah, sleeping goes against everything I believe in
<vSvAINT> it's kind of sad you have a prepared response for that
<RuneWalsh> no, it's spontaneous
<vSvAINT> Spontaneous like Combustion or Spontaneous like Jerry Lewis?
<RuneWalsh> besides, I responded to that question earlier and didn't feel like typing that again
<RuneWalsh> I'll have to think about that
<RuneWalsh> I wouldn't really call Jerry Lewis spontaneous though
<RuneWalsh> which doubles as my point as well
<vSvAINT> Haha Instantaneous. "NEW! Instantaneous Jerry Lewis! Just add Water!"
<RuneWalsh> "Wow mommy, can I have one?"
<RuneWalsh> "Not till you're older, dear"
#104747 +(305)- [X]
* Wang feasts on elbow macaroni and baby carrots
<slm> good for you, you have the diet of a 3 year old
<Wang> and i'm hung like one too
<slm> uhhhh... congrats?
#104750 +(101)- [X]
<Jamon> he said, "my girlfriend fucks like a rabid hamster."
<Jamon> other guy said, "wow, that's great.....mine fucks like a walrus."
#104759 +(321)- [X]
* freeloki hopes that this emote works; otherwise, he'll look like an idiot.
* freeloki notes that his emoting was successful. 8)
<Abstruse> I remember when the /me command was called an ACTION...now it's an "emote"? Dude, they've finally managed to pussify IRC...
#104762 +(126)- [X]
<sixxer> bmbr.. ROOOOOOCKS
<sixxer> bmbr: cos of your new bot
<bmbr> hopefully he stays stable and quiet
<bmbr> and takes very little work on my part
<sixxer> I'd like to see him freak out and start throwing people in blenders
<bmbr> ill see if theres a .tcl for that
#104768 +(6)- [X]
<NeilX> They have rename the Bible
<NeilX> its now called
<NeilX> The Sidez
<NeilX> I read chapter one.
<NeilX> the hold gospel according to Sega
<NeilX> and the mighty sidez came down
<NeilX> and he said
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER
<NeilX> AND POOF
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua fighter
<NeilX> the lord sidez said
<NeilX> teh sucks there is no good combo moves
<NeilX> let their be VIRTUA FIGHTER 2
<NeilX> 10 billon JAP PROGRAMMERS made virtua figher
<wazy> neil is drunk
<NeilX> but the elite g0d sidez said, i need more vectorz
<NeilX> AND POOF
<NeilX> THE DICSIPLE XBOX WAS BORNAGE
<Sidez> ON THE SEVENTH DAY
<Sidez> I CREATED
<Sidez> TEH XBOX
<Sidez> AND IT WAS BIG
<NeilX> and it sucked
<Sidez> SILENCE INFIDEL
<NeilX> ON THE EIGTH DAY HE CREATED HIS OWN COCK
<NeilX> AND IT WAS SMALL
* NeilX laughs
#104770 +(186)- [X]
<`sic> now that should be in guinness
<`sic> world record for longest rolling ball of cats
#104791 +(331)- [X]
<@Phucker> Calling people by their real-names on IRC is a violation of RFC1459.
#104799 +(277)- [X]
<xen0cide> Whats black and blue and hates sex?
<Cloud9> Jesus, what?
<xen0cide> Its not Jesus, its the 7 year old in my trunk.
<Cloud9> You sick fuck.
#104878 +(223)- [X]
* darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are just Bill Hicks quotes
<darkLem> cheating bastards.
#104893 +(69)- [X]
<ChemicalBurn> ah i have an erection and i dont know why
* ChemicalBurn is now known as Chem`shower
#104916 +(19)- [X]
<Siidu> what died, the hdd?
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> FUCKING CHRIST!
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> some complicated core shit
<BelaHatesCleaningShazz> brought it down faster than a fat chick falling down a stairwell
#104922 +(426)- [X]
<GrimReap99> Anti is an example of an over-irc-ed child.
<GrimReap99> Antidead: "Hallo mother, what is for teh breakfahst? double eww tee eff? Pancakes? Stfu."
<ANTIAWAY> dad - "!kb Antidead"
<GrimReap99> Mother: "!topic Pancakes biotch"
#104928 +(317)- [X]
<ANTIDEAD> I had a dream last night that I met you in real life, so we dressed up as zoro and smuggled drugs over the mexican border
<ANTIDEAD> Perhaps I should lay off the burritos
#104929 +(467)- [X]
DoUBle ChiN 47: omg im gonna be the most popular kid in school tomorrow
DoUBle ChiN 47: i have tic tacs
#104937 +(397)- [X]
<SillyBoob> WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME
<SillyBoob> WHERE DO YOU GO TO DOWNLOAD THE CDS?
<SillyBoob> MY CUZIN DOWNLOADED HTIS FOR ME
<Takaznik> type /quit get cd list and wait for about an hour
* Quits: SillyBoob (get cd list)
<Naked_Eye> How much you bet he will be back in an hour
#104946 +(667)- [X]
MYNAME15NEO: The only place I can put my cheezits will block the light on my keyboard
DgtlHavoc: did you try the top of your head?
DgtlHavoc: on top the monitor?
DgtlHavoc: on the floor?
MYNAME15NEO: Thats where I've got the lamp
MYNAME15NEO: The monitors already got enough shit on it
MYNAME15NEO: And I don't have a floor
DgtlHavoc: living in a electomagnetically suspended desk?
MYNAME15NEO: Chair and desk is suspended from cables by a blackhawk helicopter
MYNAME15NEO: I won the helicopter using my Pepsi points
#104952 +(543)- [X]
XtBA: oh yea and my moms wants u to ask ur pops if he can drive us to air plane thing
XtBA: holy shit i forgot the name
XtBA: oh yea... airport
XtBA: haha i was thinking bout plane station
#105097 +(196)- [X]
<sKILLET> wut up m?
<m> J, K and L
#105108 +(-988)- [X]
<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x *
<@SJr> g g
<@SJr> o / / o
<@SJr> a| | | | a
<@SJr> t| `. | | : t
<@SJr> s` | | | | s
<@SJr> e | / / \ --__ \ : e
<@SJr> x / _--~~ ~--__| | x
<@SJr> * _-~ ~-_ | *
<@SJr> g _ _.--------.______| | g
<@SJr> o ______// _ ___ _ (_(__> | o
<@SJr> a . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a
<@SJr> t / | C ____)/ (_____> |_/ t
<@SJr> s / /| C_____) | (___> / s
<@SJr> e | ( _C_____)______/ // _/ / e
<@SJr> x | |__ \_________// (__/ | x
<@SJr> * | ____) `---- --' | *
<@SJr> g | _ ___ /_ _/ | g
<@SJr> o | / | | | o
<@SJr> a | | / | a
<@SJr> t | / / | | |t
<@SJr> s | / / __/___/ | |s
<@SJr> e | / / | | | |e
<@SJr> x | | | | | |x
<@SJr> * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x *
#105156 +(189)- [X]
<sui`> the good news is, you're almost through the sickness
<sui`> the bad news is, it's sars and you're going to die.
#105159 +(237)- [X]
<Batty> Darth Vader is Lukes father!
<Batty> and father in dutch = vader
<Batty> So he's darth father!
<Borlath_Mon> So? George Lucas wasn't counting on Star Wars fans to be clever enough to speak any language other than "Trailer Trash".
#105162 +(143)- [X]
<gash> It's hard to find a potenial employer that will accept resume's via dcc :)
#105164 +(292)- [X]
<Svenson> lol.. yahoo says "Someone else has already chosen svensonwhocannotfigureoutaloginname"
#105166 +(36)- [X]
<@cs`on`xbox> it's fucking hott
<@cs`on`xbox> no more spikes
<@cs`on`xbox> no more lag
<@cs`on`xbox> no more fps problems
<@cs`on`xbox> just CS
<+oi> i'll steal your tv
#105168 +(183)- [X]
<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious bastard while suing someone else for being called that
#105170 +(318)- [X]
<Eckostyle> any girls want sex? send me a message privately
<Eckostyle> fuck, my mom saw me type that
#105176 +(119)- [X]
<Satan> lmao "You know how bad evolution is going right now? Me."
#105177 +(131)- [X]
<phreakinb> 1876: At the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, America's first 100-year birthday bash, fair goers visit the Turkish Hashish Exposition and toke up in order to enhance their fair experience.
<`WarpKat> it's nice to know that my parents weren't the only stoners from the past
#105178 +(451)- [X]
<Boycy> ooh, find me an ip :)
<Boycy> have a 3line batch file to send the same net send msg until you push Ctrl+C :D
<Hub-Security> boycy has ip: 184.108.40.206
<Boycy> excuse me for a few seconds...
<Boycy> I know how to find *my* ip you bastard
<Boycy> 600 shitty net send boxes oh god I hate you
#105180 +(421)- [X]
<Eckostyle> If Mexico had a major eathquake, Britain would send 100,000 replacement troopes to control the riots, Brasil would send 100,00 pounds of replacement food, and teh USA would send 100,000 repalcement Mexicans
#105190 +(121)- [X]
* phoen][x hears 'Sounds of /dev/urandom' (dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/dsp)
#105195 +(148)- [X]
<D> the #amish dont believe in pr0n
<D> well, they do
<D> but it's all ankle-flashing to them
#105196 +(193)- [X]
<gbWrk> * U.N. nuke agency urges Iran to be 'fully transparent'
<gbWrk> turn Iran into glass!
#105197 +(393)- [X]
<CaSe-> mines this big [-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]
<Commando^> Your dick has wordwrap?
#105199 +(704)- [X]
[anewname] CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
#105201 +(181)- [X]
<BadDoggie> Wasted: quit typing the top 100
<Mitzii> why, your monitor running out of ink or something???
#105202 +(193)- [X]
<JOCK> i want to go to Six Fags
<KID_B> You wanna go do Six Fags?
* KID_B steps back
<KID_B> word up man.. do your thing..
<JOCK> nawww man
<JOCK> you know rides,lonnytoons,and stuff
<KID_B> Yeah. Gay bars.
#105208 +(16)- [X]
<BobTheMilkman> eating eggs is liking giving a bird an abortion followed by eating the aborted fetus
#105209 +(369)- [X]
<omega> it was funny
<omega> we had this argument ('ve been getting into a lot of these latley, about the us)
<omega> and as soon as i brought in the facts
<omega> that the patriot missile system is the same as it was in desert storm, minus a few tweaks like radar upgrades
<omega> and how the US put saddam in power in the first place
<omega> gave him weapons
<omega> and shit
<omega> and how the US put whats his face in power in panama, and then had to later go in and get him
<omega> and the whole arming and training bin laden
<omega> he decided the only way he could counter it
<omega> was by saying that since the USD is worth 30 cents more than canada's therefore canada sucks, and the US is smart
<omega> and then he stopped talking
#105213 +(212)- [X]
<Airlea> it used to horrify me every time we went past a field of sheep.. he'd make all these noises. That's why he's an ex.
#105216 +(75)- [X]
<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa?