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#103463 +(229)- [X]

<TFreak> She was like, "are you enjoying this"
<TFreak> And I was like thinking, dude, it feels like I'm fucking a bowl of spagetti-Os or something.

#103467 +(181)- [X]

Knight Takeru: what happened to your old greeting?
TheDauntlessStar: i dunno
TheDauntlessStar: it was there, then it just sorta faded away...
TheDauntlessStar: like George Lucas's directing abilities
Knight Takeru: Yup...
Knight Takeru: or Bush's leadership..
Knight Takeru: wait
Knight Takeru: that was never there
Knight Takeru: my bad...

#103475 +(185)- [X]

<Rigger> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<Rigger> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<Rigger> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<Rigger> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

#103476 +(197)- [X]

<Dhraakellian> an ant just ran across the top of my monitor
<Dhraakellian> I've heard of ANSI, but this is ridiculous
<Dhraakellian> perhaps my computer needs to be debugged

#103480 +(68)- [X]

<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> oh, you wanna play it like that efnet?
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> disconnect me will you?
<kAwAiIaZnChIk659> i'll leech my warez elsewhere, thank you!

#103483 +(136)- [X]

<Rocket> nothing gay about predicting the size of a mans cock

#103486 +(419)- [X]

<_3Apophis> how i'm i stupid?

#103489 +(174)- [X]

<Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends
<Jemte> yea that sucks
<fdog> LOL
Topic (#clemson): changed by fdog: <Catmando> hmm.. apparently friendster requires friends

#103496 +(457)- [X]

(AnonymousOtaku) how do i go afk? this is my first time on IRC

#103497 +(480)- [X]

*|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine Bitches 101"
<moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats through its tongue.
<moes_19> dipshit
<Puedlfor> Ouch.

#103499 +(151)- [X]

<Miro-kun> My karma ran over your dogma

#103516 +(818)- [X]

<B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home while I catch the last of the ball game"
<B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.

#103534 +(-348)- [X]

<MagicCow> I hate people who think that being gay should give them special rights.. it's not like they are women, or black.. who were unfortunately born wrong.. they made a choice to be stupid faggots.

#103535 +(758)- [X]

<Ned> rofl
<Ned> Sud N' Fud
<Ned> When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead
<CB[UN1]> you forgot the usual line
<CB[UN1]> "hey stop im only 12"
<iX|Blue|afk> lol
<iX|Blue|afk> i usually get "woof bark bark"

#103537 +(174)- [X]

<hohum> when you get to the printf(); *BAM* instant coredump followed by an suid shell
<hohum> get it?
<brandon> to a degree
* brandon isn't much on programming
<hohum> don't worry, neither are the people who write software :)
<brandon> lol
<hohum> you'd fit right in

#103546 +(785)- [X]

<Cody> Hmmm
<Cody> Amazon offers a discount if you buy Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations at the same time as Marx's Communist Manifesto...

#103549 +(647)- [X]

<drwiii> this game rules.
<drwiii> i punched a building and it EXPLODED
<drwiii> but enough about that, let's talk about the game.

#103554 +(374)- [X]

<KiTTyKaT`> What state is Alabama in?

#103558 +(295)- [X]

<@GeNOc|DE> damn i wanna bone the lead singer of evanescence
<@eught> what does she looks like?
<@GeNOc|DE> sex

#103559 +(1216)- [X]

<@redfox> fuk
<@redfox> just found out my sisters been in labour for 7 hours
<@bovineaux> omg ur gonna be a daddy!

#103562 +(288)- [X]

<Knghtbrd> something so totally feels wrong ...
<lisa> ?
<Knghtbrd> no idea, but going outside right now makes me wanna run back inside, bar the door, and hide under the bed.
<lisa> republicans in town or something?

#103577 +(469)- [X]

<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED.
<sheeps> it got lucky ay?
<NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.

#103597 +(870)- [X]

<Ozymandias> WTF is an accronym

#103603 +(269)- [X]

<A-C> Is it me or is the new Tatu song unbelievably annoying
<Lightbunny> is it me or are all of their songs annoying?
<Lightbunny> but who cares.  they're cute lesbians.
<A-C> but of course

#103639 +(747)- [X]

<plexr> do you know std c++ ?
<plexr> or is a weak understanding of VB your only strength
<ahorse_> oohhhhh he just said the equivalent of *yo momma*

#103794 +(168)- [X]

<Gwindor> so who wants to get knocked up?
<Barrow-Wight> I see Gwin's found the Viagra gum.
<Gwindor> double your pleasure, double your fun!

#103800 +(114)- [X]

<chabo> have you guys ever noticed that quite a few of the quotes on bash.org deal with people who go on IRC and tell everyone about it when something major happens, rather than do what they should, which is usually go to the hospital?

#103864 +(404)- [X]

<sweetlisa> hi i'm singel and lookin for a bf...private msg me :)
<Ninja_Dib> i have a gf
<DJMORGAN> i have a bf
<Johnsee> I have a gf
<psynapse> i have wood
<knokturnal> i have a milf
<Ninja_Dib> LOL
<DJMORGAN> knokturnal: you know if u actually say that including the acronym that doesnt sound very good

#103931 +(483)- [X]

<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1 week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?

#103964 +(32)- [X]

<+Comanche> is OST any good
<+Comanche> band apparently..

#103965 +(333)- [X]

<PickleC> I want to read
<PickleC> but I have this disease
<PickleC> called
<PickleC> L-A-Z-Y
<Carly> so you just guess whats on the screen then?

#103985 +(340)- [X]

<M4`Shock> i was talkin to these fine ladies
<M4`Shock> and i sorta put my head down
<M4`Shock> and puked quickly and continued my conversation
<M4`Shock> they barely noticed

#104025 +(334)- [X]

* kanis lost something for mouthing off to an admin
<Cybsled> I hope it wasn't virginity
<kanis> fuck you

#104029 +(396)- [X]

<RedVapor> hearing my dad say "Wow, Tifa's hot." is scarring
<RedVapor> You wanna know what I replied with? "No duh, dad. Funny thing is, I have a better chance witgh someone like that then you do." I was grounded for 2 weeks
<ecco> Yes, you have a better chance with VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS
<ecco> ahaha dork boy

#104041 +(644)- [X]

<Milon> I I can't believe I was fooled like that. my brother and his friend told me there was pie downstairs and as I go down they had like a giant rubber slingshot set up and they nailed me with it >:(

#104052 +(14199)- [X]

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

#104071 +(200)- [X]

<+Lithium-> i nearly died
<+Lithium-> going into the cellar - sister fucking put some fucking shit on the steps
<+shak> :o
<+jonathan> that must smell
<+richard> lol
<+jonathan> does your sister lay dumps all the time?
<+jonathan> can she lay a dump on me?
<+james> ...
<+Alex-A11> lol?

#104136 +(526)- [X]

<cheezychops> GOD I SLEEP ONE WORK WRONG AND YOU GO INSANE
<cheezychops> er
<cheezychops> SPELL*  WORD*

#104145 +(1370)- [X]

<unlimitedsaga> I wonder if I'm too uncaring about others
<unlimitedsaga> I passed this guy in the hall today
<unlimitedsaga> and I thought he was asleep
<unlimitedsaga> then when I came back 10 minutes later there were people around him
<unlimitedsaga> then an ambulance came
<unlimitedsaga> maybe he was unconscious
<unlimitedsaga> or dead..
<unlimitedsaga> is tribes any good?

#104150 +(6)- [X]

<thebestalex> on this server's site
<thebestalex> are there any cops photos?
<Gizm0> what cops?
<Gizm0> you mean irc ops

#104226 +(121)- [X]

* Gandalf should answer the phones at work with a different song lyric each time
<Gandalf> "I'm the operator with my pocket calculator. May I please have your U* IT Name?"
<ai> I just want to answer the phone "Fuck you, this is Ben, how can I help you?"
<Gandalf> heh :)
<ai> "I'd like to file a claim."  "Miss Scarlet, I don't know *nothin'* bout birthin' no babies!"

#104238 +(447)- [X]

bISMARCK: man yor stupid
Wheelman56: man yor is stupid?
Wheelman56: who is man yor
Wheelman56: sounds japanese
Wheelman56: MAN YOR?!? HE NO HERE!!
bISMARCK: :|
Wheelman56: HE TRY TO FIX VCR CAUSE LIGHT BLINKING TWELVE ALL TIME!!

#104273 +(737)- [X]

<moes_19> my computer is about to die
<moes_19> its telling me i need to back up my files asap
<moes_19> its like bill gates is fucking me in the ass and is telling me I might want to video tape it

#104341 +(975)- [X]

<DocGonzo> i need to shoot myself in the face... i accidentally typed "the" instead of "teh", so i backspaced and fixed it

#104345 +(481)- [X]

<Gallusik_psv> sory
<Gallusik_psv> for my english :P
<osiris> I envy you, I really do, I hate speaking 1 language
<Gallusik_psv> aha
<Gallusik_psv> what languages do you know??

#104348 +(27)- [X]

<@OutlawJim> i was lookin at a form online and was saw one of those little type what you see in the box bits
<@OutlawJim> and i wondered, what if you were blind
<@OutlawJim> then i realised you couldnt fill the form in by yourself anyway

#104383 +(15756)- [X]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

#104452 +(104)- [X]

<Silmor> Hello Kitty is so tainted... imagine someone giving your six year old daughter a hello kitty purse and you lashing out at them "For fucks sake man, she's only 6!!"

#104531 +(772)- [X]

<Flirbnic> HAHAHA SQUINKY MADE A GRAMMATICAL ERROR.
<Squinky> HAHHA FLIRBNIC HAS A BIG BUTT AND HIS BUTT STINKS AND HIS HEAD IS HIS BUTT.
<Flirbnic> Stop it, I'm very sensitive about that. :(

#104602 +(263)- [X]

<Antioch-F> Don't you hate people with karaoke scripts?
<Antioch-F> You know, they sit there and spam the lyrics to their song?
<Antioch-F> It's not enough to just have a script that aggitates everyone by going "I AM NOW PLAYING THIS AND THAT SONG IF ANYONE WANTS TO KNOW!"
<Antioch-F> No, they have to add karaoke to it.
<Antioch-F> Just in case anyone wants to know what the lyrics are for "Oh Man, I Woke Up In A Truck And My Butt Sort Of Hurts" by Billy West.


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