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#99000 +(-40)- [X]

jac: "thats why asian guys can always go clubbing underage, they just borrow their dad's licence"
flash: bahahahah that would so work
nexx: er
jac: lol
nexx: asian people cant drive to get thier lisence anyway

#99022 +(887)- [X]

<Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for example
<Pat> its "neo"
<Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
<Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
<Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
<Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
<Pat> yes
<Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
<Pat> the oracle is really a guy
<Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
<Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's actually the one.
<Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out

#99030 +(814)- [X]

<@DataTek> hah
<@DataTek> antibiotics are the king
<@DataTek> u drink two beers and you're so drunk u almost pass out
<@DataTek> its like a Quad-damage powerup

#99032 +(233)- [X]

<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet - Priceless

#99035 +(209)- [X]

<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep 
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend 
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online" 
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone" 
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something, and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO" 
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let me on to talk to you"

#99036 +(117)- [X]

* kate coughs on Telepath
* kate sodes mode +SARS Telepath
<kate> SUFFFER

#99043 +(1161)- [X]

<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left

#99044 +(153)- [X]

<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh

#99047 +(353)- [X]

<Yuri> heh damn man
<Yuri> 93.1mb
<Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
<xerDM> heheh
<Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
<Yuri> heh
<xerDM> hehe
<Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
* Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
<Dorn> aha
<xerDM> haha
<Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
<Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
<Dorn> course
<Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
<Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
<Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
<Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
<Dorn> :E

#99056 +(570)- [X]

<GerbilNut> i was so happy last friday... i finally saw a girl with my old roomate... it finally convinced me he wasn't gay
<GerbilNut> she wasn't very attractive... but at least i knew he was straight
<GerbilNut> it would have made those nights we cuddled on the couch alittle awkward

#99060 +(31829)- [X]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY  HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I  DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

#99098 +(918)- [X]

<@somegrrl> i'm 14
<@Blaxthos> somegrrl:  will you come help me find my puppy ?

#99139 +(-449)- [X]

<Heavy_P> Whats the diffrence between a black and a table
<Heavy_P> A table can support a family

#99315 +(267)- [X]

<Seed> I had to remove one of toastt's organs once.. because he didn't pay attention
<md`> i see
<Supachikn> which organ?
<Supachikn> his skin?
<Supachikn> pancreas?
<Supachikn> appendix!
<Seed> Supachikn: a 1967 Hammond organ

#99350 +(528)- [X]

<Beelzebub> Necrophilia isn't rape, it's recycling

#99374 +(1480)- [X]

<Kokanshu> does anyone else have the urge to call the operators up and say 'I NEED AN EXIT, FAST!'

#99486 +(685)- [X]

<Tink> work is punishment for failing to procrastinate effectively

#99675 +(-73)- [X]

<^trivia_reaper^>  009.858. How much water would a human drink in a lifetime ?
<^trivia_reaper^>  1st Hint: *** ******* ******   Question Value : 21 Points
<^trivia_reaper^>  2nd Hint: 500 ******* ******   30.0 secs & 21 Points Remaining
<^trivia_reaper^>  3rd Hint: 500 *i**io* *i**e*   15.0 secs & 21 Points Remaining
<^trivia_reaper^>  Times up!  The answer was ->  500 million litres  <-
<iamscottevil> who the fuck uses litres.
<^trivia_reaper^>  Top10 Players ( Weekly & Monthly) are Auto-Voiced
<^trivia_reaper^>  002.2424. Music : 60's Chart Toppers: Name The Artist: Ame Caline (Soul Coaxing) ?
<iamscottevil> I'm trying to think. Glasses, gallons.
<iamscottevil> Litres?! Fuck that shit. Pabst blue ribbon.

#99683 +(158)- [X]

<Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to label him gay ^_^
<dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
<DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with what looks like pudding.
<DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.

#99699 +(385)- [X]

<Xerox|Studyage> Personally, I'm not too fond of hermaphrodites. They have more than the recommended amount of penis for a girl.

#99700 +(99)- [X]

<Odo> his nick is mr_white, and his username is blackdub
<Odo> this gives me the odd mental image of someone dubbing a movie into ebonics

#99713 +(796)- [X]

<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.

#99716 +(222)- [X]

<Gho5t> i decided against that php bumper sticker
<Gho5t> i don't want my friends from home to think i turned into a super geek
<Gho5t> i can just imagine what would happen when they ask what 'php' meant
<ASleep>hah
<ASleep>I don't drive so my PHP sticker is on my laptop.
<ASleep> Of course, I'm getting my php tattoo this weekend so it doesn't matter.

#99733 +(786)- [X]

Methodical Pain: but tomatoes are fruits
TheOffspring326: no they're not!
TheOffspring326: they merely prefer the company of other tomatoes, thats all!

#99746 +(79)- [X]

<end|Anthroborg> those are the risks people take to enjoy quality porn
<Saevus> neg, quality porn sites dont do that
<Saevus> if you pay
<end|Anthroborg> pay
<end|Anthroborg> rofl
<Saevus> exactly
<end|Anthroborg> it only takes the main page to get off on
<Saevus> lol

#99771 +(39)- [X]

<terra> time to slay the dragon!
* Dezy-chan gts some random asian girl to do crazy action poses while playing!

#99796 +(5)- [X]

<Bizznatch> my dick is 3 inches long
<chris> thats small.
<DrunkenMaster> sad
<Bizznatch> yus
<deathazre> chris: not for a 3 year old
<Bizznatch> death
<chris> ...
<Bizznatch> so you look at 3 year old's cocks every once in a while
<chris> :D
* deathazre has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Bizznatch> THE TRUTH HURTS
<Bizznatch> ...
<Bizznatch> :P
<incubus_chick> o.O

#99804 +(251)- [X]

<sev> i just watched american idol for 10 minutes
* blender pastes a homo sticker on sevr
<cryptonix> do you feel robbed?
<sev> clay sang an amazing rendition of "please let your son go down on me"

#99806 +(302)- [X]

<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves

#99827 +(538)- [X]

<sta_hi> lol
<sta_hi> "anything can be a murder weapon, if you have enough time on your
          hands."
<GrassMunk> soggy bread?
<sta_hi> yup
<sta_hi> ESPECIALLY soggy bread.
<GrassMunk> one blade of grass
<sta_hi> yes, that too
<sta_hi> ... if you remove the top of one's head first.
<sta_hi> or could somehow get it into his bloodstream.
<sta_hi> flacid severed penis?
<sta_hi> that too.
<GrassMunk> sperm
<sta_hi> thats destroyed more lives than any gun.

#99828 +(345)- [X]

<duckroll> they need a FF with a female lead that hates all men, and masturbates
<jijiripdoze> female masturbation = hating all men?
<jijiripdoze> ok
<duckroll> YES
<duckroll> its a physical PROTEST AGAINST SEX
<CommanderStab> I don't think the words "physical protest against sex" exist in Japan

#99829 +(393)- [X]

<Sinclair-> i liked the new travel slogan for Gaza
<Sinclair-> "Now only a stone's throw from jerusalem"
<@Death-Blade> lol

#99833 +(906)- [X]

<Lucien>  a small question.. will you rewrite you're history books now that you hate us and write that US should have been liberated even with OUT massive support from french military?  and maybe benjamin franklin never got his idees from paris? maybe he didn't even visite the country...
<Stormrider> Lucien, do you speak German?
<Lucien> no, but swedish :P
<Stormrider> You don't speak German, though?
<Lucien> eh no
<Stormrider> You're welcome.

#99835 +(25570)- [X]

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

#99863 +(159)- [X]

<Hard[D]isk> you know what the first sign of AIDs is, dont you?
<KillZaw> no what
<Hard[D]isk> a pounding sensation in your ass..

#99877 +(582)- [X]

<OutlawStarwind> Dude for this one question it asks "Do you ever second guess your answers?" I checked "No" then went back a second later and checked "yes" then checked "No" again... I think I have a problem.

#99880 +(153)- [X]

<usunoro>  so how's the webcam working?
<NeWaVe>  it worked good
<NeWaVe>  i only turn it on everyso often
<NeWaVe>  like when im talking to alice
<fuchikoma>  or soliciting men to buy you things on your amazon.com wishlist

#99887 +(-126)- [X]

<aNuBiS-> but youre never around :/
<PeeDC> lol
<PeeDC> thats cuz im busy with real life these days
<aNuBiS-> lies
<PeeDC> i got a kid on route .. due in less than a month ..  and no job .. im busy :P
<aNuBiS-> hmmm, youre black now?
<PeeDC> hahahah

#99911 +(891)- [X]

<Moogs> Matrix Reloaded is a very different kind of film from the original, both in style and theme. The first movie posed the question, "What is the nature of reality?" The question for this movie is, "Do French people ever stop talking?" - MacHall
<WrexSoul> Or perhaps, "Why is Colonel Sanders sitting in a room full of TVs?"

#99966 +(340)- [X]

Murcho: and for the first time in my life i spent a considerable amount of time trying to put my dick into what i thought was the 'vagina'
DrZaius: LOL
Murcho: the plumbing on these french girls is different man im telling you

#99967 +(721)- [X]

* @Super-Vipeo [Super Mario Brothers Theme Song-Nintendo] - [0.65mb; 1:24; 64kbps; 44khz; mono]
<@Cockroach> I saw a quicktime movie of a guy playing that on the piano
<@Cockroach> and about every other mario song
<@Cockroach> was kind of scary... then people on the CS forum started posting about learning sailor moon songs on their clarinets
<@Cockroach> and suddenly the Mario guy was normal again...

#100017 +(150)- [X]

<Coota> Hmmm... I'm in a dilemma. I'm in love with accents, especially British ones, but I don't like fat girls. Now, the girl who wants to make out with me *does* have an accent, but she is a little overweight... what to do...
<PatPandaHat> make her exercise before you'll make out with her.
<Coota> Pat: Hee. Tell her I have a minimum PFT score requirement before I make out with a girl? ;)
<Darien> tell her it's a religious thing
<PatPandaHat> "Sorry, I don't do pork unless it's lean."

#100077 +(166)- [X]

<invitado> i want to know if there is some "encarta" on linux
<Nermal> man ?

#100084 +(269)- [X]

<Khuffie> you know there's something inherently wrong when the first thing you do after you wake up is check your computer for any messages, yet you know for a fact that you can count the number of people who care using two hands
<Khuffie> wait
<Khuffie> make that one hand

#100085 +(594)- [X]

<jome> I suppose there are bad coders, there are really bad coders, there are fucking retards, and there's coders writing lines like this: $resultscode = $resultscode - 0;
<jome> Serious, that's an actual line from a script I'm going to rewrite..

#100089 +(31)- [X]

<merkzu> i fucking hate my dishwasher
<pagan> its super easy to rinse off dishes if you do it right when your done :)
<pagan> letting it sit for days is the killer
<jstepka-w> pagan ++:
<merkzu> i just dont like anything that interferes with my lazyness

#100097 +(315)- [X]

Justin: fred got a new motherboard
Justin: bbl, geekhuddle

#100103 +(1844)- [X]

<jebus_Y2k> Here are some helpful hints just in case you may want to send me a virus.
<jebus_Y2k> 1. Don't threaten me repeatedly before you send the virus.
<jebus_Y2k> 2. Don't attatch the virus to a message that says "SUCK THIS, BITCH".
<jebus_Y2k> 3. Don't name it virus.exe.

#100123 +(298)- [X]

<@Asha`monkey> Storm is like a 64 or something like that.
<+darkLem> boy, he looks younger than he is obviously.
<+nosphalot> he scarifices virgins to keep up appearance
<+darkLem> ...so THAT'S why he hangs around on IRC!

#100158 +(-24)- [X]

<alexandhisteninchlink> you're not witty
<alexandhisteninchlink> and you have no life.
<alexandhisteninchlink> Hack me.
<Cowface> Uh. I did not hack anybody or anything.
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'll sue you for all that you're worth.
<alexandhisteninchlink> Being that you're worth nothing,
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'll sue you for all that you'll ever be worth.
<alexandhisteninchlink> DO NOT challenge me.
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'm not as easy as the rest.
<Cowface> I don't even know who you are. @_@
(ten second pause)
<alexandhisteninchlink> I'm more than you'll ever be,
<alexandhisteninchlink> and that's all you ever need to know.
*** alexandhisteninchlink has quit IRC (Quit:)


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