#97901 +(188)- [X]
<deepspring> well.. my car just passed it's blueslip inspection and I mean just...
<deepspring> the mechanic said that he found plenty of "minor" issues that I would have to fix... luckily he let them slide
<deepspring> minor oil leak from the automatic transmission
<deepspring> bad hatch alignment
<deepspring> one of my driving lights (little halogen addon ones) was buggered
<LrdShaper> bad driver behind wheel
<deepspring> my ignition key can drop out of the ignition while the engine is running
<LrdShaper> right front wheel held on by masking tape
<LrdShaper> but the cathodes and led fans are what made himover look the problems
#97911 +(225)- [X]
:::: Now in #bearcave
* martraci slowly leaves; back against the wall
#97923 +(548)- [X]
<ChangWufei> it was well funny when we all went in a gay bar, they all just stared at us
<loveya> u went in a gay bar???
<ChangWufei> yeah, we didnt realise at first
<astrotrain> what... that you were gay?
#97927 +(141)- [X]
<Gav> Freshly reinstalled computers are a bit like a pair of new shoes - you're happy that you've finally got a new pair, but they're awkward to use for a little while :-)
#97931 +(116)- [X]
<RugNug> naw......just reboot
<crak_pipe> that works
<RugNug> and fantasize about keeping the inventer of popups in my basement for a coupla years
<crak_pipe> hell yah
<crak_pipe> lemme beat on him for a bit as well
<RugNug> heheheh......i could make millions......with a cover charge
#97934 +(136)- [X]
<Nush> im not racist, i had black friends, but my dad sold them all
#97939 +(110)- [X]
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> I am soon to be my own corporation!!!
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> now to start the shady deals and insider trading
<BigSax[UN1]|aboot> send some stock tips my way
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> im the only stock owner... guess i shouldnt try to cheat myself
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> ill be a type-s corporation
<Tleilaxu[UN1]> tried for the faster type-r for the extra horsepower
#97942 +(283)- [X]
<Dabz> u know i'm currently being paid to sit home reading bash
<Dabz> sick pay rules
<Dabz> mind u, i would usually be being paid to sit in work and read bash :/
#97955 +(378)- [X]
<Zer0_-X-> animeology - the study of japanese animation
<ecat> u must study it quite well
<Zer0_-X-> i've got phd :D
<Goddess> permanent head damage?
#97963 +(171)- [X]
<Gothic> I sound Lovecraftian backwards
<Gothic> Cithog, the black cloud of despair, hatred, and donuts
#97977 +(809)- [X]
<manero> so our friend, she's in the part of med school where you do all the genital exams and shit
<manero> and prostrate exams, etc
<manero> and a couple weeks ago, they had to do it on a real person for the first time. and so she was very nervous
<manero> so she's doing the exam, she does the front and everything is ok
<manero> and she does the back door and she gets through it all
<manero> but at the very end, as she finishes
<manero> she didn't know how to tell the dude she was done, so she slapped him on the ass
<manero> i had tears running down my face for 10 minutes after she told the story
<blach> alright bitch, im done with your bunghole *smack
<manero> the funny part was the dude was like 60, too
#97980 +(354)- [X]
<Knives-> MY MODEM KEEPS DESYNCING.
* Knives- kicks the modem
<Knives-> I'll call the ISP
<Knives-> They'll tell me "It must be something you've installed"
<Knives-> And I'll go "INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT DESYNCS A MODEM IS LIKE INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT BLOWS UP A PS/2 MOUSE!"
<Knives-> And then they'll blame the phone company.
<Knives-> And I'll say FUCK IT.
<Knives-> And wait until it fixes itself.
<Knives-> There - saved my self the bother and money of calling those pricks.
#97981 +(616)- [X]
<Dave2> Had my french oral exam today
<Dave2> It sucked
#97983 +(139)- [X]
<Japhro> cams: think you can try and mention e3 a few more times, I don't think I ignored you enough the first few times.
#97987 +(29)- [X]
<rB> best part of waking up is vagina on your cock
#97989 +(419)- [X]
<Scoteh> Im depressed
<Scoteh> I realised I have more money in an mmorpg than in real life....
#97996 +(331)- [X]
<Icedude> you know what pisses me off? when morpheus was jumping for the helicopter in the matrix, agent smith uses a wallhack! THIS IS NOT CS, ITS THE MATRIX! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT AGENT!
#97997 +(155)- [X]
<timovgod> Man, when I saw they said they were going to add color to the $20 bill I thought the meant they were replacing Jackson with Al Sharton
#98001 +(257)- [X]
<[CMF]O-Face|wurk> uhm, I never thought that "I am BREADMAN! With the POWER TO EAT A SLICE OF BREAD IN 1.9 SECONDS!!! - would be a valued superhero power.
<Commando^> Superheros have gone downhill recently
#98002 +(24)- [X]
<Ryan> Wind Waker sucks.
<Jesper> Ryan: You suck. Literally. Aduin told me all about it.
<+Legion> Ryan, you are incorrect.
<+Legion> WW rules ass.
<Ryan> No, i'm not
<+Legion> Tell me why it sucks.
<Aduin> GO LEG!
<+Legion> And if you say graphics, you die.
<Jesper> I think the graphics look better.
<+Legion> Jesper, me too. :)
<Ryan> No, everything about the game sucks, not just the graphics
* Quits: Ryan (Ryan@cloak-2236C47B.dyn.optonline.net) (Killed (Jesper (YOU SAID GRAPHICS)))
#98010 +(30)- [X]
[+JM_LOL8] Good thing I have LOTS of HD
[@Tabitha] My penis is bigger than your HD.
[@Tabitha] We should all merge our penises into one big, superpenis.
#98014 +(646)- [X]
<Gil_AFK> i hate stuff that works for ages without probs and suddenly dies without a single error message or anything.
<ElctroJkr> like senior citizens
#98015 +(378)- [X]
<`Riku> nighty night, don't let the bed bugs bite your head clean off and shit into your neck.
#98016 +(34)- [X]
<kszer0> OMG what is the teddy bear doing to that little boy 'O
#98017 +(280)- [X]
<+HackerDragon>: uhmmm yeah I had some lube and "other objects" wrapped up in a towel under my bed. My mom decided that she was going to be nice and do my laundry for me today cause she is home sick. Yeah I just looked under my bed and the lube with objects is there but no towel...
#98020 +(813)- [X]
<Blum> I was with a girl once and she pointed and laughed. She said "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
<Blum> I said "Me"
#98024 +(166)- [X]
-|- mode/#pwot [+u Snoof] by ChanServ
<Umaro> * ChanServ sets mode: +fu Snoof
<Umaro> sorry =/
<Snoof> that's the most action i've seen all week
#98037 +(141)- [X]
*** sonic_1 (email@example.com) has joined channel #perl
<sonic_1> can someone tell me whats wrong with this script?
<sonic_1> for $x in 'ls --width=1';
<sonic_1> do 'mv $x ~$x/Mailbox;chown $x.mail ~$x/Mailbox';
#98039 +(183)- [X]
<Tkil> chaos_ -- oh... and if you're a beginner... don't worry overmuch about efficiency.
<billn> if I wanted efficency, I'd put bigger tires on my truck, so I could get the whole cat in one pass.
#98040 +(411)- [X]
<q[merlyn]> lem... know any good austin Perl hackers for hire?
<q[merlyn]> I'm on a hunt for one for a friend.
<archon> for a job?
<Stupid_> No, in his spare time merlyn bow-hunts for perl programmers by their scent.
#98042 +(394)- [X]
* [petey suspects I-Que of not being 1337!
<I-Que> I'm only 22!
<I-Que> not 1337
#98043 +(205)- [X]
<Murr> DrForr, presumably the tank crew *knew* how to swim, but not how to escape from a tank with open hatch that had turned on its roof before sinking.
<DrForr> The tank flipped over -then- sank? Now that's rich.
<arkuat> what is this about? cisco is building tanks now?
<Winkola> arkuat: If they do, you can count on a lot of drowned newbie net admins.
<Winkola> "To report a drowning emergency, press 1, and hold for 27 minutes."
#98045 +(729)- [X]
<Mutiny> I'm having this teeny problem and I want to know if somebody can help me with it..
<mjd> mutiny: Sever the main neck tendons before cutting through the spinal cord. That will allow you more opportunity to separate the vertebrae prior to removing the head.
#98046 +(482)- [X]
<ROM_Man> can anyone point me to a resource on how to deal with shadow passwords in perl?
<ROM_Man> anyone alive?
<\mjd> <rattle> Who dares to disturb my eternal rest?
<\mjd> <clank> <clank> <clank>
#98048 +(357)- [X]
<Pinkie2> some guy pissed me off today so i sat on my scanner to send him picture of my ass and the glass broke i just got back from getting 15 stictches
<Louey> pinkie you serious?
<Louey> and what was your excuse at the hospital?
<Dk__> you had a really bad day
<Pinkie2> sittin on one cheek right now
<Pinkie2> i told em i sat on a drinkin glass my kid put on chir
<Dk__> we'll probably be seeing flatbeds with weight restrictions now on
<Dk__> or warning labels, do not sit on glass
<Pinkie2> im gonna sue
<Louey> and now your out a scanner and no retribution for the fuck who made you sit on your scanner
<Pinkie2> next time i will just shit on the scanner and send that to him
<Dk__> good idea
<|Korombos> Pinkie2 Sometimes man, it is best to remain quiet and thought a fool, than to do what you did, open your mouth and remove all doubt!
<Dk__> a inspirational quote from kor
#98050 +(319)- [X]
<MEGA-Shrike> lat you off my xmas card list
<MEGA-Shrike> you now on another list
<LatinoReheat> list of "Who to make love to before im 30"?
<MEGA-Shrike> THE LIST OF ALMIGHTY PUNISHMENT, PAIN, DEATH AND GENERAL NASTINESS
<LatinoReheat> so shrike, the "Who to make love to before im 30"? then
#98054 +(203)- [X]
<Latino_Reheat> where would us anime fans be without masturbation? probably married by now.......
#98056 +(798)- [X]
<ironfrost> life sucks
<Majji-woo-woo> so do whores
<Latino|NotIn> but life sucks for free
#98059 +(229)- [X]
<Innocent_ASK> Spike from Buffy is my ideal man!
<BishiGartt> he's the male version of Cher
<BishiLatino> only with less penis and more makeup
#98060 +(-135)- [X]
* yugi--moto[A] is now known as yugi--moto
<yugi--moto> fm,gnhdkln ,dfznl,df hf
<Candy> Be Right Back
#98061 +(333)- [X]
Lawyer-Acidbuk has 11 fingers
<Lawyer-Acidbuk> 10 on my hand and one....*shuts up*
<LatinoReheat> up your ass?
#98063 +(262)- [X]
<Guardian_Latino> manboobs give girls something to look at when they're talking to you
#98065 +(155)- [X]
<Sugoi-Cless> Lat! what have I told you about eating packets of gravy you find in parking lots!?
<Latino|Working> the same thing you told me about peeing in the sink cless <Latino|Working> "its fine if no ones around"
#98066 +(43)- [X]
[ LopeDogg ] u know warren
[ LopeDogg ] he always talks about weed affecting him
[ LopeDogg ] questioning whether it does or not
[ LopeDogg ] then he said he went to muyi tai once
[ LopeDogg ] stoned
[ LopeDogg ] and took a piss
[ LopeDogg ] then as he walked away from the urinal he wanted to flush it
[ LopeDogg ] so he pressed his alarm remote
[ LopeDogg ] then when it didnt flush he was like what the fuck
#98067 +(30)- [X]
<aBoijj> just realised I'd set the web cache on my proxy to 1TB instead of the 1GB I thought I'd set it to
<aBoijj> the machine only has a 4.3GB drive
#98071 +(818)- [X]
<Shawn_Michaels> u no, the moon landing was fake, right?
<t3hpwn> Only in the US will you find people who think the moon landing was fake and wrestling is real...
* Shawn_Michaels kicks t3hpwn in the nads
<t3hpwn> The truth hurts, eh?
#98072 +(396)- [X]
<The-Jim> Next time I fly British Airways I'm gonna steal the little knife, fork and spoon, they're like 2/3rd the size of normal ones, gonna keep them in my bag.
<xace> do it
<xace> then when people try to make you use a spork
<xace> be like
<xace> FUCK YOU I HAVE MINI FORK, KNIFE, AND SPOON
#98079 +(1230)- [X]
<@Splodge`> I think there might be some incest in my family because my dad's cock tastes exactly like my sister's snatch.
#98080 +(110)- [X]
Scarface8393: i was just looking at the bottle of cooking oil because im making spaghetti and i was wondering. what is extra virgin? is that like never ever gonna get laid?
#98097 +(301)- [X]
<GodsJiva> cloning should be allowed!
<f0dder> cloning is bad
<f0dder> cause there's too many errors
<GodsJiva> but... if they dont practise, there will always be errors!
<f0dder> just stick to animals at least
<GodsJiva> yeah, to start with
<Koding_W> aye. stick to animals.
<Koding_W> thats my motto.