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#89422 +(693)- [X]

<mrduck> there was a guy at my school who got caught mastttturbating and when he ran for school president his slogan was "i have a hand on the situation"

#89439 +(981)- [X]

<Tetsuya_Ryuji> I just had sex
<Tetsuya_Ryuji> And it was good
<Roovis> testuya, try the multiplayer version, its better.

#89455 +(179)- [X]

* GardenHos unzips pants
<gramagrl> omg
<GardenHos> btw it's a little cold in here...just so you know...

#89460 +(237)- [X]

<cornelius> vampire sense going off i have a need for darkness and blood.
<term> If by vampire you mean white, teenaged, and angsty.

#89555 +(1047)- [X]

(w0rd): There is no place like 127.0.0.1

#89653 +(103)- [X]

<SamC42387> hmm here is a random question... can you be taken to court if you are 15, and you used your friends picture in a funny way on a website, yet they got offended?

#89668 +(593)- [X]

<SPeedY_B> q c12sd4r5tf`1 vb`1qqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws
<SPeedY_B> q c12sd4r5tf`1 vb`1qqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws
<SPeedY_B> q c12sd4r5tf`1 vb`1qqaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaws
<SPeedY_B> '|
<SPeedY_B> ;'/.|
<SPeedY_B> ;'/.|
<SPeedY_B> |ujhy32'/.|
<SPeedY_B> ?/'}||}"?;.?
<SPeedY_B> ..And so ends lesson 1 of : "how to clean the keyboard while on IRC"

#89678 +(131)- [X]

<magaggie> fucking isp.
<SorcererX> is the isp good at it?
<magaggie> no, it's horrible
<magaggie> it only lasts four hours
<magaggie> though, it does rebound quickly... usually...
<SorcererX> and then you're at it again.. for a whole 4 hours?
<magaggie> yes.
<magaggie> i have good stamina
<magaggie> sometimes i'm at it for 18, 20 hours...

#89683 +(190)- [X]

Liz: id like to have something else :-P
katie: lol
katie: i would too
katie: like 5 seconds with him
katie: even 5 milliseconds
Liz: mmmm, 5 milliseconds of sex
Liz: is that even a full thrust?
katie: 1/2 of one
Liz: mmmm, half thrust

#89686 +(491)- [X]

<Wiecker> Running in the open just gets me killed.
<Semp> What game?
<Wiecker> Barbie detective

#89689 +(374)- [X]

* JimmytheCow looks over at his linux box.
<JimmytheCow> or run 2 pc's
* Wiecker[DAMIT] looks over at his linux box.
<Wiecker[DAMIT]> Hmm..that's strange, never had a linux box there before.
<Wiecker[DAMIT]> Never had a linux box period.
* Wiecker[DAMIT] examines the box.
<Wiecker[DAMIT]> Hmm...looks like a refrigerator.

#89700 +(680)- [X]

<^Bret^> BOW DOWN TO THE SMILEY FACE KING!
<axelf> yeah, until jamaisvu resets the stats
<^Bret^> 23044 smilies
<^Bret^> dude
<^Bret^> I work at a net cafe
<^Bret^> I have *nothing* but time on my hands
<axelf> and semen
<^Bret^> and semen

#89710 +(474)- [X]

(@iRlaN^) can someone tell me some good bf ip's thanks
(+gig) ?
(@Nick^) he means bf1942, not boyfriends
(@Nick^) boyfriends dont have ips
(@Nick^) man that'd be leet
(@Nick^) have a girlfriend scanner
(@Nick^) like an ip scanner
(@Nick^) select the filters and click refresh
(@Nick^) then take your pick
(+gig) you need to get out more dude

#89738 +(473)- [X]

<+Cowface> I saw some fella at EA with the last name Teh.
<@Joshums> hahaha
<@Joshums> Hilarious
<+Cowface> Asian character. I was hoping to see a last name LoL in the office next to his.
<@Joshums> it's funny cuz in the phone book it would say "Teh Firstname"
<+Cowface> Haha.
<+Cowface> It was like... Wein Teh or something.
<+Cowface> Something along those letters.
<+Kirbyblade> We should find someone named Fag0t Teh
<+Kirbyblade> There is apparently a Billy Silly in some phonebook
<@Joshums> it would be funny if his middle name started with an R
<@Joshums> in the phonebook it would say Teh Wein R
<+Cowface> Hahah
<+Kirbyblade> Hahaha

#89750 +(853)- [X]

<god> afk, seventh day

#89755 +(138)- [X]

<Tac0> the mobo and case are on each other like r kelly and a 10 year old raduck
<Radu> ...
<Tac0> (took me a while to find a damn screwdriver)
<evildoer> which ones the 10 year old/
<Tac0> NO STANDOFFS TO BE SEEN
<Radu> taco must not want my help anymore?
<evildoer> WHICH ONE IS THE 10 YEAR OLD?
<Tac0> the mobo and case are on each other like r kelly and a 10 year old, raduck
<Tac0> that make more sense?
<Radu> yes
<Radu> PROPER PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING SAVE TEH DAY AGAIN

#89783 +(494)- [X]

<bl00d|straitjacket> dude i pissed my boss of soooo bad today
<bl00d|straitjacket> i was late for work saturday because i was waiting for the DSL tech to show
<bl00d|straitjacket> so i get in today and he asks me why i was late
<bl00d|straitjacket> i told him about the dsl tech and all
<bl00d|straitjacket> he goes "What internet not workin so you cant look at porn all day?"
<bl00d|straitjacket> and i says: "What can i say your wife looked good in her college years bro"

#89806 +(-139)- [X]

<Bug^> is it the fken law u cant sell piss on good friday?
<Numloxx> Bug^ no, but jesus will cry if u do
<Bug^> fuck jesus
<Bug^> i'll nail that cunt to a stake if he complains
<Numloxx> that'll make him cry too
<Bug^> thats his problem
<BenZor> lol

#89814 +(1157)- [X]

<SomeRandom> It looks like operation Iraqi Freedom is almost over.
<Diablo1399> Bah! "Iraqi Freedom" is a shit name.
<SomeRandom> Well what would you have called it then?
<Diablo1399> Easy: Operation Who's Your Baghdaddy.

#89852 +(621)- [X]

<Buchwald> a woman at my work is chewing gum, and blew a bubble that popped...
<Buchwald> she then said "i'm gonna get gum all over my face"
<Buchwald> i've been reading bash.org all morning
<Buchwald> so you can imagine what i thought she said

#89853 +(625)- [X]

<Callick> You know..
<Callick> You tend to realize the kind of sad existence you live in when you wake up Friday morning in a sweat stained Namco t-shirt and a pair of yellow old navy swimtrunks.. with last night's pizza grease still on your face and a glass of rotten milk next to you.. and the first thing on your mind is, "Man, I'm gonna have some fun playing my cleric in Dungeons and Dragons today!"

#89854 +(865)- [X]

<Jans> goodbye everybody
<Jans> i've got to go!
<Xi> gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
<Jans> mama! ooohoohooooo!
<Xi> i dont wanna die
<Jans> I sometimes wish i'd never been born at all
<Jans> [guitar break]
<Xi> i see a little sihlloetto of a man
<TilK> just woke up
<TilK> life is hard
<Jans> scaremous scaramous, will you do the fandago?
<Xi> thunderbolts and lightning
<Xi> very very frightning me
<Jans> Galileo
<Jans> Galileo
<TilK> ?
<Jans> Galileo figaro!
<TilK> u guys had a trip ?

#89865 +(268)- [X]

(eaThunder) <----- 10 inch penis
(raygun) <----36" girlfriend
(TheWulf) blowup or midget ?
(raygun) child

#89875 +(731)- [X]

<Chimette> anybody knowledgable about chamber music who also wants some lesbo porn?
<crux> that will go down in history as one of the most inappropriate lines ever

#89882 +(30)- [X]

<jcarle> IRCing without music is like a car without a radio.

#89911 +(861)- [X]

(harm_) math has never been my strongpoint
(harm_) or english
(harm_) or school
(harm_) or girls
(harm_) or life

#89946 +(542)- [X]

<SJ> I'm playing "Raising Baby".... I got to the 3rd level ...
<SJ> Teething
<mtngrrl> lol, whered you find that game?
<SJ> it was on backorder - took 9 months to come in

#89947 +(-25)- [X]

<@Meshugga> vegai: be nice to them
<@Meshugga> i know they're from poland, but those are the rare ones
<@Meshugga> with brains and stuff
<@vegai> I think I saw that, yeah
<@vegai> I could see their oversized brains from my bedroom window

#89951 +(27)- [X]

<dane> Why dont the US just drop pigs in Iraq instead of cluster bombs?
<@Basra> because the US worry that it will only feed our people and troops....man....embargo `ve starved us....
<dane> wat?
<@Basra> do u expect us to drink the oil?

#89967 +(264)- [X]

<nakkeh> somehow a new monday morning is always dynamically generated after the weekend...

#89969 +(217)- [X]

* jamaisvu makes ^Bret^ give him head
<^Bret^> again?
<jamaisvu> I HAVE AN INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR HEAD
<^Bret^> fuck....ok, I didn't have time to floss this morning.
<^Bret^> unzip your pants, and I'l *try* not to laugh this time
<jamaisvu> =(

#89978 +(200)- [X]

<oc3-spd> no way dude my system is so much better than yours it owns yours and is faster.
<Hrrrrm> Ok show ur info.
<oc3-spd> os[Windows 2000 Professional (5.0 - 2195)] uptime[1h 22m 6s] cpu[2-AMD AthlonMP, 1635MHz, 256KB] mem[Usage: 380/3072MB (87.33%) [|---------]]
<Hrrrrm> you forgot to change the % on the ram.
<oc3-spd> os[Windows 2000 Professional (5.0 - 2195)] uptime[1h 22m 6s] cpu[2-AMD AthlonMP, 1635MHz, 256KB] mem[Usage: 380/3072MB (12.36%) [|---------]]
<Hrrrrm> damn youre right... its better :(

#89980 +(271)- [X]

<HungSolo> goin with xp
<HungSolo> never done linux so i dont wanna screw around with somethin i know nothin about
<Nemephosis> like girls?
<tdh> LOL

#89997 +(1777)- [X]

<cSk|Sperry> There were 2 people on a boat: /hop and /quit. /hop got off, who's still on the boat?
* nipple_frog has quit IRC

#90010 +(833)- [X]

<+Erik> my dad knows i was watching him watch porn last night
<@Kodiake> wtf
<@Kodiake> did ya catch ol' dad jerkin off rofl
<+Erik> lol no dont ask
<+Erik> i was watching him cyber on remote administrator
<+Erik> and posting screenshots on irc
<+Erik> and we were making fun of him
<@Kodiake> ROFLMAO
<+Erik> so some fucker gets on msn and starts iming my dad
<+Erik> then goes "erik is watching you downstairs."
<@Kodiake> HAHAHAAHA
<+Erik> "he sees you watching gangbang pictures"
<+Erik> "YOUR FUCKED"
<+Erik> "WHAT KIND OF FATHER ARE YOU"
<+reap> RIOFLROFLROFLROFLORLFORLFORLF

#90014 +(249)- [X]

<systick> my diet consists of anything I can get my hands on
<apeiron> so you eat your dick?

#90066 +(119)- [X]

<Bootel> excuse me but my english isn't very good
<Nex-`> oh deha
<Nex-`> thats no godo is it
<Nex-`> is that wheer i mate typos so you cannt understdsd me

#90120 +(674)- [X]

<screevo> I'm stranded at the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump...

#90144 +(245)- [X]

*** Sickenen (~hectarcam@vlan401-086-153.maconline.McMaster.CA) has joined #cnn
<Sickenen> is the war in Iraq over yet?
<Sickenen> din't pay cable bill and phone was cut off awhile ago
<DooD> yet he still has broadband

#90152 +(532)- [X]

<mark_007> i was peeing before and i hear this shuffling outside the door, so i lift my leg and kick the door as hard as i can
<mark_007> and like i hear this bump, and an "OWW", so i really quickly finish up and open the door
<mark_007> my little brother's lying on the ground holding his head and writhing in pain
<mark_007> HE WAS LISTENING TO ME PEEING

#90156 +(259)- [X]

<steelcap> anyone here ever used NetUseAdd() in delphi?
[Mr2001] never heard of it.
[Mr2001] sounds like a commie function to me. are you a red?
<steelcap> fuck no
<GoonyBird> heh
<GoonyBird> UniteWorkers() is a commie function

#90174 +(918)- [X]

< hunterr83> my penis is this big: 8========================================================D
< Pokute> That's fewer than 6 inches on my screen, man.
< Pokute> and your balls are tiny
< Pokute> I don't even know what's going on with your head, there.
< Pokute> It's all out of proportion
< Pokute> you should see a doctor

#90196 +(143)- [X]

<InVerse> Christ, I went to GameFAQs and didn't look at the poll question and was thoroughly confused when the first answer was Under 13"

#90209 +(274)- [X]

<pinkeh> females are too confusing :/ theres no where where you can hold it and press "quick save" incase something goes wrong :/

#90212 +(284)- [X]

<wax-> What is the minimum dos version linux will run on?

#90239 +(948)- [X]

<Baa7121> She's not underage, she's just fun-sized

#90241 +(28)- [X]

* Joins: i (~user@1U4J87F.ATYU7E.34EF730F.IP)
<i> hello
<zeeg> i sux cock

#90296 +(2408)- [X]

<Esk|out> If You're Happy And You Know It - Bomb Iraq
<Esk|out> If you cannot find Osama,bomb Iraq.
<Esk|out> If the terrorists are frisky,
<Esk|out> Pakistan is looking shifty,
<Esk|out> North Korea is too risky,
<Esk|out> Bomb Iraq.

#90312 +(152)- [X]

* SlamServ changes topic to 'Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf Commits Suicide, Last Words: "There Is No Spoon"'

#90323 +(236)- [X]

<S2K> Rap - It's like making love to your grandparents.
<andyhere> wtf since when was rap quick and exciting?


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