#86960 +(1026)- [X]
<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one had a brain D:
<samurai> bush has a brain
<samurai> its just really really small
<V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....
#86961 +(540)- [X]
<Bugaboo> So I was in the halls today, some jerk yells "I wanna fuck your dad"
<Bugaboo> I shout back "hes dead"
<Bugaboo> moment of ackward silence, as they think of what to do
<Bugaboo> It made up for all the grief I had at killing the old guy.
#87022 +(1170)- [X]
<chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98
<xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA
#87023 +(465)- [X]
<ocelot> I've lost my only spoon
<ocelot> how do you lose ANYTHING in a 11,4 square feet room???!?!
<Adam_H> ocelot: there is no spoon
#87064 +(290)- [X]
Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read what she said there and typed back to her what i would have said
Brandon2W: i need therapy
#87072 +(111)- [X]
<WorstQEvr> buying douches over the internet is like the epitome of shady
#87369 +(2032)- [X]
<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded man to death.
<Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
<Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill retards (/sarcasm)
<Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.
#87490 +(503)- [X]
<Leon> lol @ The Register
<Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy
<Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now
#87517 +(1370)- [X]
<Cotton Mouth> How do you describe the color blue to someone who is blind and has never seen a color before?
<NickBlasta> 0 0 255
#87577 +(148)- [X]
<shok> what is the average life expectancy of a Saddam look alike ?
#87585 +(1742)- [X]
<s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"
#87611 +(1255)- [X]
<BorD> What If Saddam Hussein survived the bombing last week, but lost a leg... How pissed-off do you think his doubles are?
#87652 +(342)- [X]
<spikeo> a part of me wishes everyone could have seen that
<spikeo> and another part of me doesnt
<spikeo> ok i have really itchy pubic wig atm (not lice, before you ask)
<spikeo> so i tried my clippers on it
<Gecko`> that part being your ELBOW
<spikeo> didn't realise they don't *do* long hairs
<spikeo> and my fucking shaver got tangled to my crotch
<spikeo> and was trying to kill me
<spikeo> i was like bicentennial man
<spikeo> or kryten trailing his groinal attachments
<spikeo> i can laugh now
<spikeo> NO BABIES FOR ME
<Rel^Slacking> Thats prolly a good thing
#87684 +(1139)- [X]
<bhlaab> One time in high school I was talking to a girl who was SUPER NAZI feminist, and she was going on and on about the double standards against women in society, and how men have no double standards against them.
<bhlaab> That's when I brought up the fact that lesbians are looked upon as "fine", wheras gay men are always getting the complete <censored> beat out of them for no reason. She got pissed off at this comment, and snapped at me "What, are you a fag too or something?!"
<bhlaab> Go equal rights!!
#87705 +(189)- [X]
<Qube> wowzz: try putting each servers ip and name in /etc/hosts
<wowzz> where is /etc/hosts
#87725 +(634)- [X]
<burn_prom_girl> our frigde is outside because we got our kitchen tiled
<burn_prom_girl> and its in a puddle of water
<burn_prom_girl> thats bad right ?
<burn_prom_girl> and i shouldnt step in the water around the frigde ?
<burn_prom_girl> its plugged in
<ikari> water doesnt conduct electricity
<ikari> it's an urban myth
<ikari> go dance in the puddle
#87741 +(-81)- [X]
<Stolurn> i was walkin home last night and i could suddenly smell KFC, and i was like mmmm, where's that comin' from?
<Stolurn> i look around and this black guy rides past, then the smell goes away
<Stolurn> bash.org was right :)
#87748 +(-147)- [X]
<Logic_BomB> could you create an infinite loop with a jew if you put a quarter on one side of the room and a quarter on the other side of the room and told him he could only choose 1?
#87751 +(771)- [X]
<revmoo> download the cky movies, they are a lot better
<ImpLin> where i get those?
<revmoo> kazza mart
<ImpLin> wheres that?
<Geoff-> at the corner of kazzalite and google
<ImpLin> what town?
<Geoff-> takingthistoofar, USA
#87759 +(943)- [X]
<hawkman> my friend had a huge bloody nose in 11th grade, and he just shoved toilet paper up his nose until it stopped. then my friend grabbed a coat hanger out of his car (i'm not really sure why he had one), then we went into the girls bathroom and spread blood _ALL_ over one of the stalls, left the coat hanger there, and put up a sign that said "please dont flush my baby"
#87809 +(1133)- [X]
<p_digga> oh god i'm dumb when i'm stoned
<p_digga> i lost something on my desk, and i couldn't find it, so i moved my ssh window on my computer desktop to see if it was under it
<j3r3miah> oh god
#87873 +(320)- [X]
<Fa||an> Steve Irwin
<Fa||an> Description: Ever since he walked in on his wife and an alligator having an affair, he hasn't been the same
<@Cyber|NWN> She loves the Croc ;)
#87981 +(460)- [X]
<jeff> A man goes into a pharmacy. He says to the druggist: "I need
<jeff> some birth control for my eleven-year-old daughter."
<jeff> "Is your little girl sexually active?" asks the druggist.
<jeff> "Nah, she just lays there like her mother."
<Wintermute> bring your family problems somewhere else
#88064 +(242)- [X]
<Ne0N> IRC is a strange thing... thousands of users... yet less than 20 words said in a day
#88096 +(459)- [X]
<Howdizzle> I put the Laughter in Slaughter
#88200 +(339)- [X]
<Eternity> anyone got that year 3000 song on mp3 ?
<pb2k> the one about the year 3000 ??
<pb2k> lalalala ... year 3000 ... llalalalal ... etc one ??
<pb2k> sorry ... never heard of it ...
#88217 +(923)- [X]
<SomeRandom> Looks like Operation Iraqi Freedom is almost over.
<Diablo1399> Bah, "Operation Iraqi Freedom" is a shit name.
<SomeRandom> Well what would you call it then?
<Diablo1399> Why, "Operation Who's Your Baghdaddy" of course.
#88255 +(117)- [X]
<JoeMoFo> (clothing) FUBU = Farmers Used to Buy Us
#88262 +(330)- [X]
<Bmann> -sigh- was looking for my chap stick blindly and picked up a battery and started rubbing it on my lips
#88272 +(213)- [X]
<eye-dee-ten-tee> is this kazaa an indian program??
<eye-dee-ten-tee> I mean the name sounds like something from arabia
<Moo> Yeah.. president of Afghanistan, Hamid Kazaa
#88277 +(154)- [X]
<spacemank> I boiled an egg once, and only totally ruined one pot, one knife, and one spoon!
#88306 +(33)- [X]
<timmo> wtf you need resin for
<timmo> you have more pot then you can handle
<c-rOCK> im like an indian
<c-rOCK> I use all of the weed. time to hit my peace pipe, bitch.
#88313 +(157)- [X]
<b1u3> they should have a tv station that randomly joins and broadcasts dalnet rooms...nerds everywhere would afk irc to watch and judge other nerds from afar
#88314 +(327)- [X]
<b1u3> i got this college professor who forgets stuff all the time, every week, the first half of his routine is the ending half of the previous session
<b1u3> finally some dude jumped up and went 'yo man, you already told us about file transfer protocol', so the prof asks where we are, the guy tells him, the rest of the day runs smooth
<b1u3> now we're learning twice as much and the guy who spoke up got his car egged four fucken times this week, community college is da rulz
#88320 +(182)- [X]
|N3O| (XP@ACC014A1.ipt.aol.com) is now known as windowsxp
<+windowsxp> thought a nick like this would be taken
<+windowsxp> guess whoevers computer who had this nick before crashed
#88324 +(1352)- [X]
<|Wolf|> So I meet this chick, right
<|Wolf|> And she's like "what do you want?"
<|Wolf|> So I say, "I wanna stick my little wood elf in your forest!"
<|Wolf|> And she's like "Die Fetcher!"
<|Wolf|> and I'm like "woah, bitch! calm yo' ho ass down!"
<|Wolf|> and i stab her in the face
<|Wolf|> and she dies
<|Wolf|> Then I'm like "told ya slut, don't mess with dis"
<|Wolf|> and i take her clothes and her money and leave her ass in a gutter
<|Wolf|> but instead of pawning the shit, i end up trying it on
<|Wolf|> and thats the story of how i got this cool green skirt in Morrowind
#88332 +(323)- [X]
<lichen> hahah i love spic
<lichen> me and him have this special bond
<Avram> KY jelly is a lubricant, not an adhesive
#88352 +(694)- [X]
<enderin> anybody knows what to do with freeCell other then watch the king's head move?
<kailus> enderin: move the cards around and hope for victory?
<enderin> what cards?
<shoonra> try starting a new game
<enderin> 1 sec
<kailus> Press F2
<enderin> wow! full of cards!
* DarkGildon knows how play o.o
<uhuf> This didn't just happen...
<uhuf> Let me guess, he has no idea what the numbers in minesweeper are used for either, right?
<enderin> okey, too complicated..
<enderin> so, what do you do with the numbers at minesweeper?
<ifireball> XD indeed
<lphnt> wow, and we didn't even get to hearts
<DarkGildon> Press F1
<lphnt> on the keyboard!!!
#88364 +(111)- [X]
<Azmodan> this is so useless
<Azmodan> 1 ping, 10 fps
#88367 +(210)- [X]
<+SROL> Megaman is REALLY hard to play without a gamepad
<+Redlof> what are you playing it with?
<+Redlof> What? I love the keyboard.
<+Redlof> just pretend it's commander keen.
<+SROL> I can't get the hang of it
<+SROL> I'm used to playing it with my thumbs
<+SROL> So I picked up the keyboard and tried playing it with my thumbs :D
<+SROL> That didn't work :(
#88377 +(456)- [X]
<Rejo> cpufreak: The trouble with troubleshooting is that trouble sometimes shoots back.
#88378 +(1072)- [X]
<eViLegion> my brother was using Word, trying to edit the format of his text, and the bloody paperclip turns up instead... his voice command to it "piss off you little shit"... it deleted 2 paragraphs of text
#88379 +(812)- [X]
<Cow> i want to have sex with this girl so bad but she wont because of her relgion
<Dr_Kevorkian> She's Hindu obviously... cant have sex with cows
#88389 +(6)- [X]
<Born_In_East_LA_2> We should tell all the now free Iraqi people about how France wanted them to remain under Hussein's rule, so that way they'll raise their kids to hate France instead of us.
<uni> Yeah :)
<kuribo> but then the iraqi kids will go to france and confront them
<kuribo> and france will surrender
<kuribo> and then france will become new iraq
#88406 +(377)- [X]
<ORi0N> What good are you with a high IQ if you, for example, can't even tie your own shoe laces or something?
<BaToR> Ask that to Stephen Hawking :p
#88475 +(325)- [X]
<[Cable]KingKapalone2> anyone have a blackhawk down serial or key generator?
#88482 +(1792)- [X]
Unregistered> I think shes finally lost it...she sitting in the corner going *beep* *beep* and pretending shes a computer in the hope I will pay attention to her....
#88519 +(246)- [X]
<Cantu> whats a SARS? ;[
<acidangel> do u live in a cave cantu lol
<Cantu> n, los angeles
<Cantu> and i dont know all the cute little irc abbreviations anymore
#88527 +(330)- [X]
<over> k though... my best line ive said in an interview... they asked "what do u do if you explain something to somebody and they dont understand... what can u do to make them understand?"
<over> "say the exact same thing but louder"
<over> and the funny thing is that the interview i said that at was the one i got my internship at
#88528 +(196)- [X]
<Fark_Ninja> The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if it fouls up there's no law against wacking it around a little.
<Cerebus> The same is actually true for a penis.