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#85901 +(151)- [X]

<Smurfette> I used to blow up cars... but I kept burning my lips on that damn exhaust pipe

#85935 +(626)- [X]

BobbyC> I mean, I wouldn't be attracted to them if they weren't my friends moms.
BobbyC> But there's something about, "Here kids, have a snack..." you know?
BobbyC> Is ANYONE with me on this?

#85938 +(285)- [X]

<MKDemon> my girlfriend has boobs.
<Kevyn> My girlfriend has boobs too.
<Kevyn> And by boobs, I meant "two balled up t-shirts stuffed up a pillowcase"
<Kevyn> ...And by girlfriend, I meant "pillow"
<Kevyn> In case you couldn't tell.
<Kevyn> No pun intended.

#85940 +(9)- [X]

<Chris_A> I wonder... doing a search for "vagina" and then one for "penis" on bash, which yeilds most results.
<Robin> Search for "nigger" afterwards.

#85953 +(-9)- [X]

<SaberRider> Yoss, you might be an IRC Adict if you sneak to the computer in the middle of the night to get in more IRC time.

#85960 +(183)- [X]

<Mazhule> i can cook chinese ^_^
<CUI-> Mazhule: I never knew that you were a cannibal

#85967 +(267)- [X]

<Dave2|Laptop> http://b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/
<Dave2|Laptop>  <-- That is disgusting.
<GroovyPigThang> !addquote <Dave2|Laptop>  <-- That is disgusting.

#85972 +(329)- [X]

<geist> watching the Bridges of Madison County always evokes a lot of emotions in me
<p_digga> is vomit an emotion?

#85975 +(308)- [X]

<Scruuf> i'd rather live in a basement with 100mb then in a castle with 56k
<Shub> er...I rather have a connection something in between and live in a normal house ;P
<Scruuf> that just proves you're weird

#85978 +(88)- [X]

<Griffin> dont call it rape
<Griffin> call it surprise sex
<endfro> hhaaha
<pagan> whatever works Griffin

#85979 +(159)- [X]

<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

#85982 +(520)- [X]

<Stugein> Headline:
<Stugein> Headless body in garbage bag discovered near Devil's Slide
<Stugein> First line of article:
<Stugein> The San Mateo County Sheriffs Office is treating Sundays gruesome discovery of a headless body as a homocide.

#85989 +(-3)- [X]

<darkpact> like i said man, stop smoking pot
<darkpact> it's not good for your braincell :|
<StarScythe> but its good for mah wellbeing
<StarScythe> and i meakes me spel so darnn kool
<darkpact> StarScythe, you should see a doctor ;(
<Kronck> lol
<StarScythe> yeahh dark maybe he can prescribe som good piils 4 me so  i can get even more wasted ::D:D:DD:

#85998 +(308)- [X]

[@cOoke]: If there were a building that stood for average intelligence, you would be the plane that crashed into it

#86009 +(369)- [X]

<morn> I'm gonna be a pimp, yo! It'll be off da hizzle fashizzle, knowwhatimsayin'?
<Gabe> It's sad when white people try to talk like black inner city people. It's doubly sad when those white people are European. :P
<morn> Now, don't be hatin'!

#86012 +(216)- [X]

<revmoo> well
<revmoo> msg nexis
<revmoo> maybe he is one of those nerds that has his shit set to wake him up in the middle of the night if someone pm's him :P
<Geoff-> LOL
<Geoff-> hey
<Geoff-> i used to have that

#86017 +(320)- [X]

<][blah][> i mean, are there any downloadble cd burners?, or do you need hardware?

#86019 +(517)- [X]

<Desert_Storm> crap..
<Desert_Storm> just woke up in front of PC again :(

#86028 +(283)- [X]

GGamoGamo: The unofficial newspaper of the college my friend went to was investigated by the Secret Service once
Wintyr Feanim: why?
GGamoGamo: For printing an editorial called "Jesus, please strike down Geroge W. Bush"

#86029 +(299)- [X]

<Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my moms a dental assistant
<Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
<Acero> thats how i got so good at it

#86049 +(40)- [X]

<Squinky> Where the hell is sumez.
<Jim> Using an anonymous vagina, as are most Danish guys.
<Squinky> Do they not have VD there or something?
<Jim> They are VD.
<Squinky> So it's really Danish guys ravaging my penis right now?
<Jim> Most likely...Did you stick it into a Danish girl?
<Squinky> I think I used a breakfast danish to masturbate the other day...
<Jim> Pff, obviously that's what it is.
<Jim> You're supposed to use AMERICAN pie.

#86054 +(95)- [X]

<+{R3D}Hurricane> Fly Delta. Cause everyone else is bankrupt.

#86057 +(236)- [X]

<Dr SpaZZo> A Reese's Peanut Butter Puff going directly down your throat is a LOT more painful than one might imagine.
TwilightKnight jots that down
<TwilightKnight> thanks
<Dr SpaZZo> No problem.

#86059 +(450)- [X]

<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the Kleenex I have in a pile by now.
<CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no provisions for people made of Kleenex.

#86065 +(528)- [X]

<CommanderStab> Man, all of these supposed "free PHP hosting" sites and not one of them is any good >_<
<CommanderStab> WTF?
<Riku> o.o
<CommanderStab> Hungarian?!
<CommanderStab> These guys actually have INTERNET?!
<CommanderStab> Man, I can't read this shit >_<
<CommanderStab> I have the greatest idea for a site
<CommanderStab> Say that we ofer 1000mb of fre PHP hosting
<CommanderStab> Then when they submit their information we keep their password and username and don't give them a site
<CommanderStab> Then we build a massive database of usernames and poasswords
<CommanderStab> Then we create a program to goes to every site on the itnernet that requires a password and get it to try all of the user/passes we have on every site
<CommanderStab> Then we blackmail the people because no doubt some of the sites are like sick porn sites and we'll have their email addresses
<CommanderStab> And we use the money that we get out of the blackmail to actually BUY some decent hosting
<CommanderStab> So I don't have to keep looking through all this shit

#86095 +(268)- [X]

* inkedmn is BORED
< jbm> inkedmn: drink beers. fuck wife.
< inkedmn> jbm: no beer/money, wife's at work
< jbm> uh. got any pets?

#86099 +(454)- [X]

<Arrgh> great.. now he's trying to vomit in my shoe
* [TMBJ]Rhadamanthus happydances
<Arrgh> he called it a "vomit capture device"
<[TMBJ]Rhadamanthus> Throw something at him
<Arrgh> like what? my shoe?!

#86100 +(1004)- [X]

Soca: God damn fucking neighbors and their dog need to die
Soca: I just tore up my front lawn with my truck trying to piss them off.  I hope it worked.
drnick: you tore up your own lawn trying to piss of the neighbours
drnick: hmm wheres the logic in that
Soca: Well, I made a lot of noise in the process
Deltan: Yea the joke's really on them with that one

#86104 +(646)- [X]

<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now
<Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the other half of the channel
<Petter[web]> I resent that.
<Queued> I understand.

#86115 +(689)- [X]

<LinkDJ> At prom, me and Julea were dancing, and a song came on that I recognised. We're dancing, and halfway through I get a big smile on my face.
<LinkDJ> It turns out it was a song from DDR.
<LinkDJ> I think i've told that much here before
<LinkDJ> What I didn't mention: I started doing finger combinations on her ass.

#86135 +(38)- [X]

* freebs is playing [ Fiddler On The Roof - If I Were A Rich Man ] ¤ M[X]S
<aNuBiS-> lol
<freebs> i'm very eclectic
<freebs> well if it's spelt right
<aNuBiS-> that fancy speak for, gay?

#86186 +(590)- [X]

<SJr|Tecra> I'd shit my pants if my girlfriend said she was pregnant.
<robb> i'd shit my pants if you had a girlfriend

#86199 +(-167)- [X]

<[TMBJ]Harrison> I love bash.org.  All I have to do to be funny is copy/paste. :)

#86204 +(294)- [X]

<pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.

#86218 +(1799)- [X]

<NuclearisWinterius> "Without the USA there would be no France, just a greater Germany" and the guest on the show said "Without France, there would be no USA, just a greater England"
<Method> hurray for france!
<Method> without england, there'd be no USA, just a really big canada where they all spoke french.
<Method> i don't know what's worse
<ari> Without Finland, there would be no IRC and this pointless discussion would not be taking place :p

#86224 +(486)- [X]

<Dirtbiker> howd all of u learn how to do this crap?
<@nomis> hit f1
<@nomis> frequently
<Dirtbiker> in here?
<@nomis> in flash
<Dirtbiker> but thats the shortcut to help

#86228 +(298)- [X]

<ksennin> "Do the girls have to shave their asses?"
<ksennin> [x] Yes
<ksennin> [ ] Yes
<FT> ksennin: Your definition of 'great' tends to be weird.
<TripleRach> Shave, what
<FT> Try "Shake"
<ksennin> Oh shit.
<ksennin> Yes, "Shake"

#86232 +(807)- [X]

<Jeff> I'm such a ditz, I dialed my phone number into the microwave

#86246 +(-289)- [X]

<Enchi|ada> Martin Luther King is a holiday because it is symbolic of the propensity of black people's laziness and unwillingness to work.

#86247 +(42)- [X]

<timmo> tim would rather fuck a woman who doesnt know what the hell irc is
<c-rOCK> fuck that
<c-rOCK> i want a hottie who can irc it up.
<c-rOCK> and i wanna be like
<c-rOCK> yeah im a mod on bash.org
<c-rOCK> hop on my dick now slut.

#86371 +(854)- [X]

<Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here
<Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing
<Afbc0m> my mom was pissed
<Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please, get down on yo knees"

#86390 +(476)- [X]

<[KS]> this one time... at lan camp.. i stuck cat5 up my pussy

#86407 +(808)- [X]

<Snow> If Grand Theft Auto isn't mankind's greatest invention, I don't know what is.
<Snow> I just flew around the city in an Apache attack helicopter firing missiles and random cars. And when I got bored of that, I stole some guys motorcycle, rode 120mph across town to a nightclub, where I picked up $10,000, walked inside, and fired a minigun into the crowd, liquifying everyone inside.
<Snow> And then I picked up a new suit and went home and called it a day.
<dano> i love how accurate its portrayal of the 1980s night-life is

#86421 +(210)- [X]

<CodeMason> I never sleep.
<CodeMason> I just lapse into alcohol-induced catatonia on a regular basis.

#86444 +(235)- [X]

<Dynamo> Do that again, and I will switch your testicles with your eyes.

#86452 +(310)- [X]

<n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat' in the title
<n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway

#86683 +(476)- [X]

<Resident_Redneck> The Canadians commited three warships, 1000 soldiers, and 10 tanks to the war effort...but due to the exchange rate, it works out to be a mountie, a moose, and a flying sqirrel.

#86848 +(1722)- [X]

<cali310> I heard the most ridiculous comment ever made by a newscaster last night on fox........
<cali310> He said, "the Iraqis have hundreds of seasoned suicide bombers"
<cali310> How in the fuck does one become a seasoned suicide bomber?

#86903 +(284)- [X]

<Uday_Williams> Know what'd be messed up?  If one of Saddam's doubles turned good, and then was appointed to run the country.  Bet that'd confuse alot of people.

#86957 +(732)- [X]

«TheCulter» guys: two people, /nick and /quit are on a boat. /nick falls off the boat. who's left on the boat?
(@Makenshi`) /quit
(@Makenshi`) duh

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