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#80601 +(299)- [X]

<jimmiejaz> I just tried to use my mouse to copy a URL off the t.v. :(

#80603 +(358)- [X]

<@Avalanche> The other night, I was at a friends house. And we had a bon-fire. I turned the lights out, got a marshmellow, set it on fire. Then began to run around the yard, with the marshmellow on fire, waving it in the air. Everyone was like "wtf are you doing". I said "guess what I am". They replied "I dont know". I replied "space shuttle columbia". I thought it was funny joke, if you take away the sick tragedy of losing human life.

#80616 +(1151)- [X]

<thegreatgazoo> umm kfc and beer great irish din din
<^Bret^> thegreatgazoo: Your Colon just sent me an e-mail...it wants a divorce.
<thegreatgazoo> it already got all my shit
<thegreatgazoo> what more does it want ?

#80618 +(610)- [X]

<Spudsta> my my.....is it just me or does banana always taste and feel a bit weird as it's going thru ur digestive system?
<@`2L> wrong end jess....
<@`2L> put it in your mouth.

#80624 +(193)- [X]

RobLuckettX: i wonder if the world took some massive vote, if we could exile Bush from America
Masqueradeuk: some people like him
RobLuckettX : like a sort of giant UN Weakest Link
RobLuckettX : hosted by Thatcher
Masqueradeuk : "George Bush you are the Weakest Link - Goodbye!"

#80627 +(297)- [X]

<Schroe> Christ, I don't know how those girls think their bones are so attractive.
<TheNintenGenius> Attack of the Super Thin
<TheNintenGenius> Of course, they're easily defeated. Just tell them they're fat.

#80642 +(214)- [X]

<Mime> I remember when I first started to masturbate. I was scared.
<Will> You make it sound like someone pointed a gun to your head and forced you to masturbate.
<Mime> No, I remember getting near to climax each time and thinking "Oh shit, what is this! Argh!"

#80648 +(83)- [X]

<+Sasuke_Uchiha> Do you know how much beer I've had today...WAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much so if I seem dumber then suaul thats wy
<+MegamanX2K> Underage drinking
<+MegamanX2K> it only kills brain cells that were never there in the first place
<+MegamanX2K> Sasuke=Poster Child

#80649 +(305)- [X]

* Tomis has quit IRC (Quit: Flush twice, it's a long way to the kitchen.(Graffiti on wall of McDonald's bathroom))

#80655 +(388)- [X]

<Aventura1> what does b8 actually mean?
<StndRain> You have to master it to find out

#80663 +(1022)- [X]

<|CS|Lothar> but it canadian money and we all know canadian money isnt worth the paper it's printed on
<Lareonis> Kinda like American treaties?

#80703 +(413)- [X]

<Crowbar> yah, if you cut the ass while shaving, you might as well just stick your fingers in and rip it wide open.  at least that way you can claim you were raped
<Crowbar> oh man, i just woke up my wife from laughing
<Knower|> <wife> what's wrong honey?  <crowbar> Oh, haha, just giving the guys some advice on anal tearing.  <wife> oh, alright...just keep it down.  <wife> wait, WHAT?!?!

#80710 +(124)- [X]

<jillium> oh, yeah, I think I remember that site.  Literary criticism and essays, right?
<anomaly> heh, well it was a personal site about a teen wanting a boob job.

#80725 +(323)- [X]

[Nokturnal] I remember when i worked at holiday in...if our employees got a free stay, they had to have the "greencard" signed. it was just a little green card saying you worked at holiday inn. i once asked this one employee for his greencard and he went apeshit on me.
[Nokturnal]he's all "I GOT MY FUCKING GREENCARD YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKER"

#80729 +(-3)- [X]

<timmo> capn slackass: hello kettle, i am pot.
<timmo> capn slackass: you are black.
<timmo> xxx: ?
<timmo> people are stupid these days
<c-rOCK> shes a nigger?

#80731 +(99)- [X]

<rG^steelrose> You know what we need?  NET - Nerd Entertainment Television.  A channel dedicated to bash.org

#80734 +(499)- [X]

<Destruya> Women are like errors, they're usually annoying and tend to fuck with your life right when you don't want them to.
<Destruya> Now, *girlfriends* are like fucking hard drive crashes.  They happen unexpectedly, completely fuck your shit up, and empty your fucking wallet.
<Destruya> But unlike most hard drives, women don't come with warranties.
<Destruya> "This bitch isn't compatible with me.  I want a new one."
<Japhro> 'look, you can't speak that way about my daughter, get the fuck out!'

#80750 +(18)- [X]

<pear> I have 3 girls which im trying to lose my virginity too

#80751 +(27)- [X]

<tomje> i once put ice cream in a rubber and wanked it was unreal

#80753 +(3)- [X]

<Perplex> I cut my pubes to about 1/2 inch, they look neat, tidy, and inviting

#80754 +(-12)- [X]

<tom> i got loads of bukake avis, is it suppost to just be some chink woman sitting there with cum all over her?

#80765 +(27)- [X]

<lnp4668> !lastwords
<DMBot> 747. "They have an acceleration of WHAT ?!"
<lnp4668> around 400 miles/hour.

#80771 +(15)- [X]

<MrAce> I Need An IRCop To Send A Global Message For Me. About My New Channel!! #TeenChatPlace

#80783 +(608)- [X]

<NuttO> You are promoted.
<MechaMrEd> To?
<NuttO> I don't know. What's Geno's title?
<MechaMrEd> Animefag
<NuttO> Okay, that's your job now. Geno is demoted to Fag.
<MechaMrEd> Oh boy oh boy hey anyone been watching the lastest digisubs of NEKO NEKO FAG 2112??!?!/ NO???????
<MechaMrEd> It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO kawaii ^^
<MechaMrEd> OKAY DUDES I'LL GUESS I'LL GO WATCH SOME ANIME!!!!!!!!11111
<MechaMrEd> How am I doing NuttO
<NuttO> You're doing fine.
<Geno> I'm not even like that. :/
<MechaMrEd> That's why you were demoted, you useless BAKA GAIJIN FAGGOT
* Geno is listening to: Excel Saga - Ai Sincere Heart
<MechaMrEd> Man you're supposed to just be a fag now, can't you go five minutes without MESSING UP THE ENTIRE SETUP

#80788 +(186)- [X]

*** Wildstar has joined #StarAlliance
<SA-NiteFox> And I say, "That's not my sister, that's my chicken!"
<SA-NiteFox> ^.^
*** Wildstar has quit IRC (Quit: )
<SA-NiteFox> lol, I scared him

#80793 +(981)- [X]

<pulse__> HAHA!!
<pulse__> HAHA!!
<pulse__> HAHA!!
<pulse__> HAHA!!
<pulse__> I JUST GOT A PAYRISE!!!
<pulse__> HAHAHAHAHAHA
<pulse__> could this company be any more stupid?
<pulse__> I DON'T DO ANYTHING!

#80795 +(164)- [X]

(This is before any form of invasion of Iraq occurs, if any)
<Stonefish> I reckon the Bush vs Hussein knifefight they were talking about would be quite entertaining.
<PuMbAaA_rx7> yeah
<PuMbAaA_rx7> Hussein would kick ass
<PuMbAaA_rx7> bush is a pussy
<Stonefish> Don't discount his monk3y skillz
<PuMbAaA_rx7> lol
<Stonefish> you ever seen a pissed off monkey with a knife?
<PuMbAaA_rx7> can't say I have
<Stonefish> good point...
<Stonefish> brb - monkey

#80807 +(215)- [X]

<Consolelover> I need a life.
<Consolelover> DOn't get me wrong, my current one's fine.
<Consolelover> I'm just greedy. :{

#80815 +(146)- [X]

<ph0x_> the best way to optimize a program for space is to remove all spaces and tabs from the source code
<ph0x_> also don't use many lines,write everything on one single line

#80824 +(77)- [X]

<gaurav> ahh i feel sexeh
<airliner> irc is the only place you can feel sexy gaurav

#80833 +(170)- [X]

<cyberia> anybody know how to hack banks

#80834 +(203)- [X]

* sellout is always on the fence -- stay in Canada, go back to the US. I think it's just inertia that's keeping me here right now. Well, that and weed. Which has a high coefficient of friction.

#80851 +(39)- [X]

<dma> I once wrote a program to determine how long it would take to listen to all my cheesy mids.
<dma> forgot the result
<Silencer> ha
<Silencer> thats nothin
<Silencer> one time my friends and i got bored
<Silencer> so we figured out a couple interesting facts about mexico
<Silencer> such as how many parking spaces it would hold if it was flattened and paved
<Silencer> or if the entire population of mexico was to cut the grass of every lawn in the us
<Silencer> how long it would take them (ie, how often they could do it, once a week, once every two weeks, i forgot how long)
<Silencer> and we figured out how many cars it would take to drive the entire population of mexico to the us, if each car held 7 people
<Silencer> or 14 if its a van
<Silencer> (i know, this is horrible stuff)
<Silencer> (it was extremely funny, we actually figured it out too)

#80852 +(141)- [X]

<cheater> my dream is running away from me like a dog from a hungry korean

#80868 +(124)- [X]

<OZ-Cpt-Slade|collegeboy> broadband is sweet, its like sex just faster

#80870 +(295)- [X]

<Dragon> argh, is there anything in life but school? Oh sure! There's the complaning about school, the brief periods of unconciousness at night, and sweet sweet death..

#80872 +(262)- [X]

<Gerrard> w00r
<Gerrard> ...w00t
<Gerrard> Crap, I might've started an internet trend for spelling "whore"

#80873 +(-39)- [X]

<ic0n0> there are a few bash qoutes of us
<AvgJoe> none of me
<K`Tetch> or of me, probably
<DKB> i know i'm in one yay i'm famous along with 1000's of other people with no lives

#80879 +(206)- [X]

<Crimson_Dynamo> Stupid kazaa, it has a banner for penis enlargement pills "Doctor approved pill will enlarge your manhood in just 3 weeks!"
<|[T]|HiddenPower> that can't be legal, what if kiddies are using the computer?
<Crimson_Dynamo> then we will have 7-year-olds with huge penises

#80885 +(299)- [X]

<rhsara> i had a dream about hermaphrodites.
<simmoril> naked hermaphrodites?
<rhsara> OF COURSE! how else are you going to tell they're hermaphrodites?

#80888 +(623)- [X]

<Agilo> you know jerking off in the shower has its disadvantage
<Agilo> now the rain makes me horny

#80890 +(116)- [X]

<SilverJstr> it's toonie tuesday.. I might go get some kfc
<ThanatoChaos> What's toonie tuesday?
<SilverJstr> chicken for two bucks
<ThanatoChaos> Really?
<SilverJstr> You'd have to have toonies in order to get this deal.
<ThanatoChaos> toonies?
<SilverJstr> two dollar coins
<ThanatoChaos> oh this is a stupid cannuck thing
<SilverJstr> yep  :)
<ThanatoChaos> canada is one of the worst countries in the world, it's everything the world hates about america and france combined in one arctic wasteland
<SilverJstr> ignorant weenie

#80895 +(186)- [X]

<SpAz> you, are an asshole. pure, natural, and bottled at the source.

#80903 +(229)- [X]

<grap3|saturn_music_files> whats a good big hentai site?
<Ryoga> grap3, Japan

#80908 +(132)- [X]

* Sora|Mobile admires his giant, bulging flexors.
<Sora|Mobile> I could jerk off an elephant.

#80910 +(143)- [X]

(slippy): i find religous ladies pretty easy, once i convince them i'm god

#80914 +(157)- [X]

<JangFizett> bleh, I'm hungry
<Bill> Eat a Dick
<JangoFizett> I wish I was that flexible

#80915 +(1421)- [X]

<seph429> okay my uncles neighbor needed help with her computer (shes hot++) so i said yea i'd help
<seph429> and i was installing windows xp on it and she was in the shower, so i went to watch tv
<seph429> about 20 minutes later she walks in the livingroom completely naked
<seph429> and is like OH SHIT I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE!
<Incubus1n> lol
<seph429> and all that came out of my mouth was woot! :(
<seph429> i live a sad life

#80917 +(6)- [X]

<fatherPat>  Are any of you young boys/girls out there not  getting the love you deserve from your parents?  Come and sleep with father pat, I'll show you what love is all about. Just think of me as your father and  mesg me now

#80919 +(305)- [X]

<Crystal_s> Where is everyone? I refuse to believe this many people have lives outside of IRC


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