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#76857 +(603)- [X]

<Noobe> Look at me. I'm topdeck. I use retarded internet lingo.
<Yawgatog> Noobe: Your nick is NOOBE.
<Noobe> Dude, Noobe is my real life name.
<Yawgatog> lol noobe

#76862 +(317)- [X]

<LemmingAFK> I wasn't bothered by people calling me Lemming in real life, until girls started yelling it during sex.

#76866 +(355)- [X]

<therion23> there was this documentary on sadomasochism on TV here once
<|H20|> whats that?
<therion23> this girl took the cardboard from a toilet roll and put sandpaper on the inside and tied up a guy and jacked him off with it.
<faust_> Denmark has all the cool tv shows.

#76868 +(197)- [X]

<Lemming> I can't believe I just said "darn".
<jimx> Lemming - all you need now is a "gosh".
<Lemming> Yeah, that'd be neat.
<Lemming> I mean, golly!

#76869 +(33)- [X]

<ITnovice> Just out of curiosity any chicks want to come over and have a wild one night stand with me?

#76871 +(626)- [X]

LrdKittoa: just ate at taco bell.
Nitefallzz: i hope you get some kind of mexican disease and die
LrdKittoa: taco bell isn't mexican food.
LrdKittoa: calling taco bell mexican food is like calling micheal jackson black.  It's sort of true, but... no, not really.

#76881 +(109)- [X]

BmxMovieM does anyone know where i can get the macintosh os...but for pc?

#76887 +(882)- [X]

<Antioch> My penis is annoying.
<Antioch> "Ugh."
<Mitch> Howso?
<Antioch> "Morning sir! How are you today sir?"
<Antioch> "Shut up."
<Antioch> "I've got your coffee, sir."
<Antioch> "Shut up, I said."
<Antioch> "Slept well, sir?"
<Antioch> "Can you just stop standing up like that?"
<Antioch> "Can't, sir. I'm too happy, sir."
<Antioch> "Damn you!"

#76891 +(283)- [X]

<BongOP> if there's anything more bizarre than fucking a blow up doll, it's having 'group sex' with a bunch of blow up dolls.

#76894 +(1518)- [X]

<DoctorRiff> well anyway, this drill sarge gets everyone lined up, and starts yelling at all the recruits, like how they do
<DoctorRiff> and he was over to the left of the line, when someone way off in the right yells "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!"
<DoctorRiff> and the drill sarge yells "WHO SAID THAT?!" and goes over and starts yelling at the right of the line
<DoctorRiff> then someone at the left of the line says "PATRICK HENRY YOU FOOL!"
<DoctorRiff> according to my dad's friend, it was worth all the extra jogging and military-type training they had to do

#76895 +(175)- [X]

<AndrewLB> So what if they are lesbians?
<AndrewLB> WOOHOO! TWO GIRLS MAKING OUT! THEIR MUSIC MUST BE AWSOME
<JtotheB> :D
<JtotheB> Oddly enough, that's my exact reasoning.
<AndrewLB> Ya know, if you want lesbian pornography, you could always ask
<AndrewLB> SOMEONE ELSE
<AndrewLB> >_>
<AndrewLB> <_<

#76898 +(703)- [X]

< ihatestan > well obviously there is nothing to do so i'm going to see if sperm is flamable

#76899 +(167)- [X]

<iconc1ast> my rhymes are fatter than the average irc girl

#76905 +(162)- [X]

<jjwalker> he was right, our mom is a weirdo...I went to go play laser tag, and I didn't tell her where I was going...and when I walked in just now she fucking assaulted my ass...with fists
<jjwalker> then she threw a book at me 0_o
<_seb_> damn man she anally fisted you?
<_seb_> that sucks
<_seb_> must have hurt

#76909 +(695)- [X]

<Gwindor> how do you save a log?
<Rimbaud> don't flush

#76927 +(187)- [X]

<Drown> think about linux and you won't prematurely ejaculate

#76932 +(139)- [X]

<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> god damnit this porn i dled has a dude in it
<Yeti[B-A]> porns normally do
<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> the only dick i wana see while i watch porn is mine

#76933 +(90)- [X]

<dewwop> maybe i should masturbate more?
<Sir_Frag> with 60 grit sandpaper even
<Sir_Frag> for extra pleasure
<skold> haha 60 grit
<skold> talk about tearin some shit up
<skold> your cock would be a mangled piece of dangling penis flesh
<dewwop> ill just use steel wool
<Annieland> ooh i love steel wool

#76935 +(956)- [X]

<DavidRei> Life is like an analogy.

#76936 +(375)- [X]

<Beige> It's one o'clock.
<Beige> Do you know where your children are?
<Apollyon> In my testes.

#76938 +(726)- [X]

<Anatole> Drug money supports terrorism. Oil money supports terrorism. Tax money supports terrorism.
<Anatole> I just cut out the middlemen and write a check each week for ten dollars, made out to "TERRORISM."
<Ein> sweet
<Ein> where do I mail my check?
<Anatole> Wherever. The terrorists will find it.

#76939 +(690)- [X]

<himitsu> Can anyone think of a science experiment i can do at home?
<himitsu> I have this assignment i have to do for year 10 science and i need to carry out an investigation.
<himitsu> Just give me a question i can find out,like do different brands of liquid paper dry faster and does brown ice cream melt faster than white.
<BastardKnight> Oh. Oh! Do an analysis of what happens when you mix a base and an acid as opposed to what happens you play bass and do acid. It'll be a smash hit.

#76943 +(707)- [X]

<Spike> I want to write an OS that gives error messages in laymen's terms
<Spike> "Your computer is fuckin broke yo. Reset this shit"

#76944 +(485)- [X]

<bos> how many 1/8 cups are in 1 cup
<infox> 8?
<bos> ;[ thats what i thought but i wasnt sure

#76945 +(869)- [X]

March 4 2003 02:15AM:
<Miro-kun> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
<Miro-kun> damn lag.

#76954 +(172)- [X]

<Thorndy> whats the worst geek?
<ashley> the worst possible geeeks know that they are geeks but think they are better than anyone else.
<ashley> watch
<ashley> DEGEEK YOURSELF DANIEL
<paveway> keep dreaming

#76957 +(774)- [X]

<Verl> www.internet.com/dvds.rock/yestheydo.htlm
<Verl> html^
<0dan0> nice botched joke, loser
<Verl> ahem
<Verl> 'at least i dont put how many times ive had sex in front of my name, and how many time ill ever have sex after it'

#76964 +(279)- [X]

<DJ_Phatiguez> there is a way you can actually do a jedi mind trick?
<cow> of course there is
<@tolikin-skywalk> DJ_Phatiguez: rohypnol
<Githzerai> Why does he wave his hand then?
<cow> misdirection
<DJ_Phatiguez> ahahah i got ejected from a pub for trying to do a jedi mind trick when they ID'd me
<DJ_Phatiguez> 'you dont need to see any identification.'

#76972 +(479)- [X]

<slac`> there's this mineral ( formula: (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2 ) which was found in Cummington, MA.
<slac`> it is therefor called: Cummingtonite
<[Ci]CougarFou> that sounds like a dangerous mineral.  I bet you have to wash your hands throughly after handling it.

#76974 +(452)- [X]

<Kermee> SELECT * FROM {[chicks]} WHERE {[bust_size]} > 32C AND NOT {[is_fat_chick]} AND {[looks]} = Hot! AND NOT {([is_psych_student]} OR {[is_law-student]} OR {[is_commerce_student])} AND {[will_swallow]} = True AND {[has_own_cash]} :P
<Astatine> oh, good one :P
<Astatine> I think we've just made a SQL statement for the perfect woman :P <Kermee> now if only there where such a table..

#76992 +(264)- [X]

specul8tor: I have no girlfriend....she dumped me
specul8tor: dummy
sprightlygirl: thats sucks, im sorry to hear it...
specul8tor: she will regret it one day....when she realizes that no one could possibly put down the love like me
sprightlygirl: lol
sprightlygirl: at least your ego's not bruised

#77012 +(283)- [X]

<Extigy> Ships are Long, Hard and full of sea men!
<blondee> i don't get it....

#77016 +(644)- [X]

*** M3DU54 signoff (Quit: GTG... damn cat got its tail stuck in the printer again)

#77022 +(584)- [X]

<Kevyn> God it's fucking cold out. The temperature in Massachusetts has dipped into the teens more than R Kelly.

#77029 +(847)- [X]

<Dj|Gallow> TUNE IN
<Dj|Gallow> GOD DAMN IT
<IntrepiD`GNR> Dj|Gallow: we have children present
<Dj|Gallow> sorry
<Dj|Gallow> TUNE THE FUCK IN KIDS

#77050 +(383)- [X]

<Tetsuro> You have a blog?
<Kat> dude
<Kat> I'm an angsty suburbian teenager
<Kat> and you're asking me if I have a WEBLOG?

#77056 +(164)- [X]

memories keep: I don't want to wait until marriage. But i don't want a dick to take my vriginity.

#77098 +(311)- [X]

<rufees> Ron Jeremy was a decent guy. He is such a Troma fan that he worked on the movie for free. Troma payed for his Hotel , and I believe his airfare and food ( if that was what we ate ), but that was it. The funny thing about Ron was that he wasn't just some novelty to have in the film ... he can act , and I mean well. I was shocked at his ability to learn his lines quickly and he had excellent comedic timing. It caught me off guard. He is definitely a sex maniac though. You'd think a day off from shooting porn he wouldn't concern himself with getting laid , but he goes up to one of the actresses in the middle of the day and shows her his index finger and says "You know why you should masterbate with this finger ?" and she goes "No?" and he replies "Because it's mine". Sleazy, but fuckin' funny.

#77183 +(180)- [X]

<DrSuse> i remember when no one knew of limp bizkit
<@`2L_Flashing> the good old days?
<+Ford[Gone]> wish it'd stayed that way
<DrSuse> that ruled :(

#77196 +(503)- [X]

<MooseWare> Anyone in here know a good IRC server to find people who are intersted in making game?
<MooseWare> games*
<Raggedy-Asmo> #redundant-questions
<MooseWare> that chat is empty
<CrazYGuyMrkII> lol
<Valeria> rofl
<Raggedy-Asmo> lol Val
<MooseWare> im serious, its empty
<Valeria> ;)
<MooseWare> except for me, of course
<Raggedy-Asmo> hey, let's send that one to bash
<CrazYGuyMrkII> rofl
<Valeria> already there
<CrazYGuyMrkII> thats like that other one
<CrazYGuyMrkII> join #someonewhocares
<CrazYGuyMrkII> im the only one there
<Raggedy-Asmo> lol
<MooseWare> that room is empty too
<CrazYGuyMrkII> lol
<MooseWare> grr

#77198 +(313)- [X]

<Cody> where'd you two meet again?
<Derian> a mud.
<Cody> ahh
<Derian> Yah. I'm just glad he wasn't an axe murderer.
<Cody> heh, yeah
<Derian> but he swears he's never murdered a single axe so.....
<Cody> well that's good to know
<Derian> If you're an axe.

#77201 +(401)- [X]

<djv> psykiv..sorry about your loss
<djv> BUY A MACINTOSH NEXT TIME.
<djv> ;)
<The-Virus> why buy a mac
<The-Virus> its like buying a car thats only compatible with 10% of the roads

#77202 +(349)- [X]

(skootlez): WrxionWRK.....
(skootlez): wanna fuck?
* WrxionWRK takes a deep breath
(WrxionWRK): I'm sorry im going to have to decline your offer for sexual intercourse at this time, due to unforseen circumstances.
(WrxionWRK): however, i do wish you the very best in your ventures.
(WrxionWRK): this was an automated message. Please do not reply.
* WrxionWRK breathes

#77265 +(652)- [X]

<Liquids> man I have to broaden my date horizons
<Liquids> I am so sick of starting dates off with "are you a cop" and ending it with "do you take visa"
<Liquids> could be worse
<Liquids> they could start with "asl" and end with /ignore

#77292 +(625)- [X]

<EthenWork> I want my tombstone to say "Exceeded TTL"

#77307 +(320)- [X]

<iddqd> have you read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?
<elf> ya
<iddqd> it r l333t
<iddqd> i've only read up to halfway of restaurant @ the end of the universe...
<iddqd> need to carry on
<elf> have u read my gf jsut dumpped me so i played quake all night ?
<iddqd> ouch
<iddqd> soz man :/
<elf> dont worry , i have bash.org , i can laugh at all the OTHER pathetic loosers out there
<iddqd> haha that's the spirit

#77309 +(389)- [X]

<DJCookieMonster> Tell your mother to stop changing her lipstick. My dick is like a friggin rainbow.

#77311 +(197)- [X]

<GoatBoy> ackshully I have some white chocolate macadamia nut cookies here
<GoatBoy> for dessert
= Slinky/#austin clubs goatboy over the head and divvies the cookies with wendy
<GoatBoy> hah
<GoatBoy> i licked em
<GoatBoy> so they're mine.
= GoatBoy/#austin ponders that for a moment
<GoatBoy> i wonder if that would work in a bar
<Slinky> i can irradiate them
<GoatBoy> can you irradiate the semen out of them too?
f GoatBoy was kicked off #austin by Slinky (you are one nasty fuck, has anyone told you lately?)

#77317 +(286)- [X]

<Nivex> if it weren't for the users, sysadminning would be easy :-/

#77324 +(188)- [X]

.!. @Risiken wonders where her cam is being hosted =\
.!. BoHolbrook wonders where his balls are being hosted
( Psy ) [BoHolbrook]: www.tiny.com


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