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#75249 +(685)- [X]

<CyberMind> ive been programming and using computers since my old days in the womb.
<CyberMind> umbilical ethernet
<SR71Goku> how fast do you get on it?
<SR71Goku> I'd imagine at least 1gigabit/s
<CyberMind> actually quite slow.
<CyberMind> network was flooded with protein and nutrient packets.
<SR71Goku> LOL...
<SR71Goku> "Daddy once DoSed my connection..."
<CyberMind> ok im ending it right there.

#75254 +(919)- [X]

* Rage slaps phucker with his glove
<@Rage> i challange you to a dule
<@Phucker> I challenge you to a spelling-contest.

#75267 +(375)- [X]

<FeralWolf> actually, many Canadians do mock the Columbia disaster
<AriaStargazer> Pff
<AriaStargazer> they're just jealous because
<AriaStargazer> the closest thing they'll ever have to a space program is the annual beaver tossing contest

#75269 +(596)- [X]

<Wikkid|Mikkr3igN> my power went out the other day. good thing my camera had a flash. i went to make a sandwich and took 90 pictures of my kitchen.... the neighbors called the police they thought it was lightening in my house

#75274 +(357)- [X]

<SpaceCow> moses
<SpaceCow> did he have his own group of folowers as jesus and mohammed did?
<AL9000> No
<AL9000> He just led the jews out of Egypt
<AL9000> for 40 years
<+Exor[B-A]> heh
<AL9000> Worst. Guide. Ever.
<SpaceCow> hahaha
<+DopefishJustin> hehe
<+DopefishJustin> well God was deliberately making them go in circles
<+DopefishJustin> because they pissed him off with the golden calf
<SpaceCow> "Ok, lets go across the desert" *Two years later* "Wait, lets go back, I dropped a nickel"

#75282 +(-25)- [X]

mzazchw: just then i felt my side
mzazchw: and i was like "why do i have a scab???"
mzazchw: then i looked at it
mzazchw: .............................
mzazchw: .... it was dried cum

#75286 +(229)- [X]

Cypher : damnit i hate windows 98
Cypher : "look, you've updated the network drivers, INSERT THE CD BEFORE THE COMPUTER EXPLODES!!"

#75291 +(303)- [X]

[11:03] <nish> gee...this room is really fast - quick replies!!
[12:47] <Grinko> zoom

#75292 +(117)- [X]

<WarNPeace> There, 12 point font in terminal is readable nicely
<WarNPeace> 8 was not.
<Cryto> hehe
<Cryto> get new eyes.
<WarNPeace> I'm just getting these broken in
<WarNPeace> Its taken lots of pr0n to get them where they are.
<Cryto> Broken being the key word. :)

#75293 +(205)- [X]

(dosdemon)  I'm downloading something called "vagina vacum pump in action"
(CautionIAmBoozer)  interesting
(HSS-KUN)  Aww...they spoiled it by putting the plot in the title. I hate that.

#75307 +(560)- [X]

<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email, and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones.  Now I have 500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.

#75313 +(309)- [X]

<MongORiaN> a woman in the mens room is SOOOO FUNAY
<Exor[B-AFK]> a woman in the mens room = awkward
<Exor[B-AFK]> a man in the womans room = lawsuit

#75315 +(200)- [X]

<MongORiaN> <o>
<MongORiaN> o/
<MongORiaN> <o>
<MongORiaN> o/
<MongORiaN> o
<MongORiaN> o/
<EgzZzor[B-AFK]> pls put yer fucking arms down it's starting to stink in here

#75319 +(408)- [X]

<Destruya> I joined the "Virtual March on Washington" even though I live 30 minutes driving time away from the White House.
<Destruya> I think I've reached the nirvana of laziness.
<Destruya> And probably sent my name to a CIA central database codenamed "FuckWithThesePeopleUntilTheyDie".
<Destruya> Of course, I'm not worried, since any server with a name that long has to be running NT of some form.
<Destruya> Which means they better write that shit down before it crashes.

#75327 +(609)- [X]

<Kahran> I need to start passing judgement with an ironfist
<HellmasteR> yes
<Preachidus> it works for me.
<HellmasteR> be all like YOU THERE, OBEY THE FIST
<HellmasteR> and if they dont, fist them good
<HellmasteR> wow, that came out badly

#75333 +(171)- [X]

<@NMO> My mother is pissed off because I said our family is more like a dictatorship than anything else in one of my test answers.

#75342 +(1)- [X]

CrayonBreakyWill: How can one man be so dense?!
sidacola: Uh.. he's a MAN?

#75344 +(128)- [X]

froovgloobular: Haha, seven sexy co-workers sounds like something out of a story..
froovgloobular: Like 7 dwarves, or soemthinge.
sidacola: Oh. I thought you were going to say a porno story.

#75347 +(258)- [X]

<sm`gone> getting dressed now
<sm`gone> no need to shower, i use linux
* EvilGrin submits to bash.org

#75357 +(214)- [X]

Rock'et> Why there is random damage in Subspace?
Op>JEDI>Gau> because SS is kinda realistic...
Op>JEDI>Gau> In reality some bullets would hit in harmless places, not everything will be deadly.
Op>JEDI>Gau> meanwhile other shots will get through and break off heat tiles on your wing
Rock'et> what harm could that possibly do?

#75358 +(214)- [X]

<Moogle> Yeah, I took our first time when the condom broke to be a sign for me to keep it in my pants
<Gau> Was she on the pill?
<Moogle> nope
<Gau> man.. I would have donkey-punched her out cold and douched for 3 straight hours!
<Moogle> Douching actually makes it worse.
<Gau> Not if you do it with 12 mole per litre HCl
<Moogle> hoh!

#75359 +(111)- [X]

<Pi|Mu|Rho> http://www.bash.org/?36444
<Ozy> geoff gets that lots
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I can imagine
<Ozy> theres a whole bunch of people stuck to the ceiling nearby my desk, roughly where geoff sits on the floor above us
<Pi|Mu|Rho> That's such a hilarious image

#75361 +(449)- [X]

<gangee> i would pay for a 44 gigabit back bone
<gangee> but hey
<gangee> i work at macdonalds what can i say :P
<Ufnb> would you like fries with that?

#75369 +(669)- [X]

<Tsunemori> I could barely kept myself awake during the lecture....... but here I am......
<Serajadeyn> what lecture was it?
<Tsunemori> Introductory lectures to teh various subjects we'll be taking
*** Shadowcon (~Shadowcon@12-230-182-225.client.attbi.com) has joined #mtartanddrawing
<Tsunemori> Three people went for one hour each, but this last guy did it all in 10 minutes. I love him
<Tsunemori> I think Shadow will misunderstand what I'm saying.

#75373 +(-49)- [X]

<tofu> huh
<tofu> why did eminem win 2 grammys
<puppy> cos he set his mind to it.

#75374 +(235)- [X]

<[wC]Eer0> someone tell me something funny.. im so boored .. :-|
* Pinkeltje thinks
<[wC]Eer0> hahahahahahaah
<[wC]Eer0> that was funny :D
<raw> euro humour :D

#75382 +(501)- [X]

* maria pokes lisa
* maria pokes steven
* maria pokes dana
* dana deflates
<maria> hmm
* dana pbfbpfpbpfbf's around the room
* maria connects dana to an air pump
* dana recomposes

#75383 +(208)- [X]

<Dilbert_>  is a pregnancy test kit, in bad taste as a bday present?

#75384 +(313)- [X]

<Quoth> i thought MacOS was a breakfast cereal

#75388 +(213)- [X]

<jud_> some of the stuff that people say on quakenet... feels like i get penalized by one IQ point just for reading it

#75393 +(441)- [X]

<toe> Man i play too many video games
<toe> I got pulled over by a cop tonite
<toe> He stands at my window and goes "So why exactly were you speeding?"
<toe> my reply? "I wasnt speeding, i was qualifying!"
<toe> $165 fine right about there.

#75400 +(288)- [X]

<Surge|Metal`Gearing> Yeah why don't we use stupid people as a fossil fuel? We'd end the energy crisis for millions of years.

#75402 +(-78)- [X]

<pie> wait i know how to get us in the top 50
<pie> start loggin
<sublies> wait it saying something
<sublies> OMG WTF????????????/
<pie> ha ha pwned

#75438 +(300)- [X]

(zarkonite): im totally addicted to bash.org
(MikeWork): i'm totally addicted to this funny white powder i found tons of in a gym bag jammed behind a stall at the bus-station's bathroom

#75466 +(140)- [X]

Geeno: I can put a man into a coma with a potato chip
Geeno: not really, but i told my gym teacher that when I was in 2nd grade or something

#75470 +(49)- [X]

<Amnesiac> there's something like awk in perl?

#75471 +(31)- [X]

<intense>john you check your ass for used condoms? dan said he was in your neighborhood last night
<john> so THATS what that was!
<john> i thought it was some bad beef from BlackEYed Pea

#75480 +(174)- [X]

<@IchI> jfk assassination was tight
<@IchI> dallas
<@dam1en> im watching it over and over
<@IchI> they owned him
<@emo> headshot!

#75482 +(232)- [X]

wavesound: anyone here know a lot about friction problems?
enkorat: as in physics?
enkorat: or sex stuff?

#75483 +(527)- [X]

***Shark has logged in
Shark: >_>
***Shark has logged out
Mystic: omg the shifty-eye hit and run

#75497 +(185)- [X]

<Vang> Ack!  I'm trapped in a bad Radio Shack commercial!
Vang suddenly calms down when he realizes his wife was once Miss America and a Playboy Playmate.
<Shun> and then tense up again when you realize most of male America has seen her naked
<Vang> Bah, who cares?  I'm the only one that sees her naked right now. :)
<Shun> thats what you think ;)
<Kid_Chameleon> Not if you pay $14.95 for her WebCam

#75504 +(410)- [X]

<AndrewLB> Ya know, I just realized that the entire time I was supposed to be at church, I've been looking at hentai...

#75510 +(17)- [X]

<JesusFrog> He's not coming because you haven't jacked him off.

#75514 +(582)- [X]

<mako> my letter "eye" stopped worng
<luca> k, too?
<mako> yeah
<luca> sounds like a mountain dew spill
<mako> and comma
<mako> those three
<mako> ths s horrble
<luca> tme for a new eyboard
<luca> 've successfully taen my eyboard apart and fxed t by cleanng t wth alcohol
<mako> stop mang fun of me
<mako> ths s a laptop!!

#75531 +(223)- [X]

<gi|XFIRE> in MSword, how do you remove page numbers?
<gi|skaught> whiteout

#75545 +(23)- [X]

<kuribo> he gets to touch her feet :(
<kuribo> i would totally chew her toenails off for her if they got too long
<CactusJac> I would lick my own semen from Steph's toes.
<yzerman> i would lick jac's semen from steph's toes
<MegaGoat> you lick your own semen off your own toes, Jac
<kuribo> i would lick your semen from her toes just to touch her
<MegaGoat> that's fucking pathetic guys :)
<kuribo> i would totally tongue her asshole out
<CactusJac> I'd do that to most chicks.

#75552 +(66)- [X]

* Digital- (net@she.swallowed.and.said.mmm.cheezy.com) has joined #toronto
<kade> i dont know if mine is cheezy but she had to chew it then swallow.

#75558 +(289)- [X]

* Wee humps Hannah's leg.
<Hannah> thats my prosthetic leg
* Wee humps Hannah's other leg.
<Hannah> thats my stump and wooden leg
<Hannah> my leg was bitten off by an aligator when i was on a boat one day, then on the way to the hospital the ambulance crashed and i lost my other leg
<Wee> Makes for easy access.
<Hannah> sicko

#75563 +(467)- [X]

<Teromen> but have you ever tried doing it to a goat? they look really soft
<Teromen> erm, wrong window :|

#75569 +(18)- [X]

<AL9000> and not too long ago my dad was installing doorbells in the house, and he kept testing them, so I dreamed I was in this house and these black women kept ringing the doorbell
<Logic_BomB> black women ring the bell, black men use the window

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