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#72189 +(385)- [X]

<MogKnight> I need a button that makes me go forward in time
<@Ushi> They have that.
<@Ushi> It's called liqour.

#72194 +(1241)- [X]

<ZBZZN> I yelled that in class
<ZBZZN> and ppl went like "WTF"
<Killrbyte> I once had a guy yell out "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!" in the middle of a test.
<Killrbyte> Then the guy next to him said "SHIT! I didn't think you'd actually do it!" as he whipped out a $20 bill and handed it over.

#72206 +(517)- [X]

<@pc|dogg> I'm using a file search engine, looking for the wonderful 6-movement "Dona Nobis Pacem" by Vaughan Williams. The only result it comes up with is (no joke)
<@pc|dogg> "Donald duck gets a blow job.wma"

#72222 +(309)- [X]

<Kythren> I think it would be hilarious if North Korea decided to launch a pre-emptive attack on the US while we're busy messing around with Iraq.
<Ryuujin> Kythren, NK has already warned they will
<Ryuujin> if the US doesn't stop shoving their troops into south korea
<Kythren> Coming soon from Jerry "I love explosions" Bruckheimer:
<Kythren> Pearl Harbor II : North Korea Strikes First!
<Ryuujin> Pearl Harbor III: We really should have seen it coming after the last two times
<Silence> If that wasn't so serious it might even be funny
<Kythren> Eh, I'll probably still be laughing about it when I'm being dragged up against the wall by their troops.

#72225 +(230)- [X]

<koitsu> you know you're doomed when a COMPUTER matches you up with a she-male.

#72231 +(674)- [X]

<Dayv> It's amazing how many interesting games come out of Germany that are actually written for adults with IQs above the subnormal range.
<DJTodd> How else are we supposed to train the master race?
<DJTodd> Uh... You didn't hear that.
<DJTodd> I know nothing! NOTHING!

#72232 +(797)- [X]

<Dayv> I tell you, nothing works up an appetite like committing serious tax fraud.
<Dayv> wrong window, ignore

#72234 +(508)- [X]

<fiveiron> you porn addicted freaks
<fiveiron> porn rots your mind
<la_haine> course it doesn't
<la_haine> you're thinking of TV
<fiveiron> no, i'm thinking of porn
<fiveiron> no wait...that didnt sound right...

#72241 +(14)- [X]

<_DeViL_kDs> me need help, how do me use flash????
<_DeViL_kDs> i have macromedia flash but cant find where to put the ftp details into it

#72246 +(348)- [X]

<AT-afk> fuckin dog just ate my mom's dentures
<AT-afk>whoa is she pissed ()
<AT-afk>i think so neway...kinda hard to understand her on the phone with them out

#72251 +(304)- [X]

(doggie^): i cant believe you're getting a new mobile number rather than do work
(doggie^): i applaud you
(slippy): lol
(slippy): it's not worth the money
(slippy): like that chap who had the WinME machine with the virus
(slippy): two days later he called again
(doggie^): rofl
(slippy): "i opened the virus email again and i'm infected again"
(slippy): <HangUp>

#72262 +(278)- [X]

<lildaemon> every girl i meet and talk to ..so far ..(about mental
            disabilities).. like personality ones
<lildaemon> they all seem to have one
<lildaemon> my brief analysis concludes that all girls have issues because of me
<lildaemon> men*

#72269 +(472)- [X]

<Typhon> 1 4m @n 31337 H@X0r 4nd I OwNz0R 4t kW4k3 3 4REN@. Fe4r My m4d $K1llS, D0odZ
<xr> Typhon: you own at quake e arena ?

#72270 +(1271)- [X]

<@X-G> ownage is such a capitalistic term.

#72271 +(25)- [X]

<WookieJHWH> tA-Kane to fixe IE on mac, add the line U$3R=1d10t in the default HTML file.

#72317 +(86)- [X]

<xenophile> ugh plane has a flat fire, we're going to be very very late
<@jwz> make sure they check the heat tiles too

#72471 +(118)- [X]

<b1u3> i know the movie was written by a guy who knew nothing about computers, who wanted to make a movie about computers
<b1u3> but it has its points
<daenonok> should have frat brothers over and watch hackers the movie, and every time they make shit up, you drink a shot
<daenonok> you'd be passed out in twenty mins
<b1u3> yea but they got that worldwide virus on one floppy disk, and it had a fucking sidekick virus to distract people
<b1u3> you got people these days like 'yo i just pulled these leet kiddie sploits together into one bad mutha, the fifth cd is half burned!'

#72506 +(10)- [X]

<thenanny> What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating across the room?
<thenanny> Drop it nigger!

#72571 +(803)- [X]

<Perrin> I really need a back neonazi techno
<Perrin> er
<ToasterThief> ...
<Perrin> -neonazi techno +massage
<Perrin> c&p is not my friend.

#72614 +(848)- [X]

<ex-machina> I had to change rooms at my hotel. You know you spend too long online when you laugh at the fact that you got moved from 1024 to 768.

#72623 +(776)- [X]

<palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in them, oh and they were really easy :)
<blindwork> the girls or the classes?
<palos> yes

#72633 +(443)- [X]

<Logic_BomB> oddest thing said to me all day, i tell a friend not to use plethora in his introduction cause its too wordy sound and he tells me:
<Logic_BomB>  Don't make me open a plethora of cans all which contain some whup-ass

#72635 +(489)- [X]

<KiloStar> I could probably get away with making $usedesign = $sidebar for the moment
<KiloStar> heh
<ShyAway> $usedesign=false :O
<KiloStar> that would screw it up a bit
<KiloStar> unless I made it if (!$usedesign) $usedesign = "default"
<KiloStar> and then youd be pwned
<ShyAway> $usedesign="incorrectvalue"
<KiloStar> if (!file_exists("$pathtokajar$usedesign")) $usedesign = "default"
<KiloStar> mwahaha
<ShyAway> $usedesign=default
<DartHomework> wow, it's like the Dueling Banjos of nerds

#72652 +(259)- [X]

<@slippy> Interests:  Computers: Cyberculture, Hobbies: Literature, Science:
          Physics, Space: Star-Trek
<@slippy> doesn't bode well for her dress size

#72657 +(284)- [X]

<CapnHardcastle> do the ppl on bash.org randomly move from chat server to chat server taking ppl's comments out of context or do they sit on just one server?

#72705 +(496)- [X]

<railed> this channel is like an escher drawing
<railed> we're all condescending assholes, but nobody's at the bottom

#72721 +(440)- [X]

<Pyrate> I was downloading a hentai game, but it was slowing down my Harry Potter download, so I canceled it... I think I may be a little retarded

#72749 +(5)- [X]

<@niko> vox : i have inadvor zim for u   when u want?
<@vox> is it on ur laptop?
<@niko> no, its in that media form call 'cd's
<@vox> bring d cds to me whenevr
<@vox> lik 2morrO
<@niko> k
<@vox> lt
<@vox> m 2 bz 2 typ all lttrz
<@vox> bz bz bz
<@vox> u r not imprtnt enuff 4 all lttrz
<@niko> ur a fag

#72852 +(0)- [X]

<WerdPerfect> whats up with indian people and java
<WerdPerfect> its like mexicans and yardwork
<WerdPerfect> wtf
<CrotchCapers> hHAHHWFRHAWH)R*@

#72870 +(339)- [X]

<[--S--]> we drove past your house last night owen
<an|man|ac> i thought they only took the garbage on fridays

#72873 +(364)- [X]

<Ludious> I think it's delightfully ironic that the aisle across from the valentines stuff at Walmart features family size bottles of vaseline.

#72879 +(125)- [X]

<willo> how the hell do you submit sites to google anymore
<ogw-iii> google for it

#72891 +(801)- [X]

<VodkaV> lol, french tanks have six gears, 5 reverse, and one forward in case they are ever attacked from behind

#72894 +(22)- [X]

<rastakid> Geez .. I really should stop with computers. I wrote a valentine card, and signed it with "H4ppy V4l3nt1n3" ..

#72922 +(356)- [X]

<myne> has anyone else seen the mpeg of tubgirl?
<myne> It is the closest I have ever come to throwing up on a screen
<myne> it is sooo much wronger than the jpeg
<myne> it was in my sisters inbox of all places
<@toe2toe> a) you dont have a sister
<@toe2toe> b) you ARE a sister
<@toe2toe> c) i hate you
<myne> I'll opt for C as it is the most correct answer
<@toe2toe> they werent options

#72927 +(663)- [X]

<Mullet_Man> its so retarded when people r trying to type lots of !!!'s
<Mullet_Man> there all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"
<Mullet_Man> i mean, is it really that damned hard to type "!!!!1"

#72944 +(1260)- [X]

<Mojokoko> phew... just jogged .6th of a mile
<@SJr> Mojokoko is that 1 and 2/3 miles?
<MarysKid> math not your major SJr?
<@SJr> actually it is :)
<MarysKid> LOL
<MarysKid> um... OK
<@SJr> that could mean 60% a mile, which would be wierd, or more accurately 1/.6
<@SJr> which works out to 5/3
<@SJr> since when someone says they jogged a 6th of a mile they jogged 1/6 miles, a 10th of a mile is 1/10 miles. So it strikes me that .6th of a mile is 1/.6
<Mojokoko> bah...
<Mojokoko> ill kick your mensa ass to alaska

#72967 +(366)- [X]

<Twingy> but I don't see the reason for sending so many troops over when they can do it autonomously
<DooD> because
<DooD> the troops are bored
<DooD> we gotta let them out to rape a third world country every once in a while
<Twingy> seriously, I'm beginning to think so
<skymoosUK> sick DooD
<DooD> i meant rape in a figurative drop-bombs-on-your-ass-and-piss-on-your-corpse sense.
<skymoosUK> oh, thats okay then, i thought you meant sexual and stuff

#72991 +(1493)- [X]

<fubar> We have a town called "Gay Head, MA"
<fubar> There's a town in Wisconsin named Spread Eagle
<fubar> There's a town in South Carolina named Sugar Tit
<Jagfire> I like gay head better
<fubar> I'm sure you do

#72993 +(27)- [X]

<ap0c> i'm building a computer out of the remnants of the Columbia.
<ap0c> it's gonna crash a lot
<ap0c> buh dum tssh
<xenu-> lmao

#72995 +(109)- [X]

<MrMaddog> Hairy men and eggs does not a porn make :P
<Rucas> You've never been to Germany, have you?

#73010 +(15)- [X]

<[J03Y]> What is the sound of one hand fapping?
<Crabster> bullshit. what is the sound of one man unfing?
<Genki--> there is no spoon

#73018 +(365)- [X]

<jerk> napster's death kinda ruined it for me.  I don't trust any of the programs out there now...too much spyware
<bloke> ahhh
<jerk> backdoors bigger than a transvestite's
<bloke> theres an expression that u just don't hear enough

#73019 +(132)- [X]

<DJ-Pyro> damn you Rick|zzZZz...you better not be sleeping
*DJ-Pyro wants to go to bed
<Kel> you need Rick to tuck you in?

#73022 +(215)- [X]

<everydayiscatday> im gunna hack the nickelodeon website and put a giant picture of my cock on it instead
<ramoth4> I think they have cock ID databases now
<ramoth4> after 9/11 you know

#73028 +(373)- [X]

<Verchiani> whats a good word to get shaved into the back of your head??
<DeathJester> idiot

#73043 +(178)- [X]

<JustinW> My girlfriend says Shaft sucks.
<Sigma> JustinW: maybe she just isn't doing it right.

#73049 +(155)- [X]

<Omegaquila> 3 2 1
<normanpennyworth> whenever someone goes 3 2 1 that's my cue to BREAK IT DOWN

#73052 +(1520)- [X]

<TheDingo> okay.. i walked into the kitchen to get something, and my mom is on the phone with someone and she says "i said, 'who are you to talk? you showed the inside of your anus to half the nation!'"
<TheDingo> and i just screamed "you know the goatse man?!"

#73059 +(1667)- [X]

<devoid> did you know what dell dude got busted for pot
<SSSXIII> yeah ;D
<devoid> it confuses me because i always thought marijuana was a gateway drug

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